I ignore it when it's my parents. I know that they love me and I know that I'm not fat. We live in different states. It's almost comical when they bring it up now. I'm not kidding, but a couple of weeks ago I was crying to my mom about something and she said, "I don't want to stress you out, but your father and brother have been saying that unless you lose weight you're going to be lonely and only meet abusive losers who won't love you..."
I was 127 yesterday and I just weighed myself at 126 (+ I'm PMSing) so at just under 5'3 I'm perfectly healthy. I wear a jean size 25 and I'm fairly busty. For the most part I'm ok with myself. I do look better when I'm more slender and I want to get back to that shape when my face is less puffy and my arms are more toned, but I am not overweight.
It just stings when the guy who has been telling you he loves your body for 5 months tells you he actually doesn't love your body. Not only does he not love your body, but he doesn't like the rest of you enough to deal with the 10 extra pounds. Keep in mind I have gained no weight since I met this guy. So why date me exclusively in the first place? I'm sure he could have found a girl that was his body type? I haven't been very emotionally wrapped up in this relationship, but still... ouch! It kind of reinforces parents theory.
It just stings when the guy who has been telling you he loves your body for 5 months tells you he actually doesn't love your body. Not only does he not love your body, but he doesn't like the rest of you enough to deal with the 10 extra pounds. Keep in mind I have gained no weight since I met this guy. So why date me exclusively in the first place? I'm sure he could have found a girl that was his body type? I haven't been very emotionally wrapped up in this relationship, but still... ouch! It kind of reinforces parents theory.
I don't know him, but he sounds controlling. The fact that he started dating you at your current size and then wants you to "change" just rings alarm bells in my head. If he wants you, he should want the entire package.
I could understand if you had a serious amount of time invested with this guy (then it might be worth trying to see what's going on) but for a guy you've been with for 5 months? It's not worth it. There are wonderful men out there who will not criticize your body and you are at a perfectly fine weight for your height!
I outweigh you by about 20 pounds and I'm the same height as you. Lately I've had to beat the men off me It's not weight—it's YOU! How you carry yourself, how you act, etc. I met my fiancee at my starting weight. For the majority of our relationship I was that weight. He always told me I was beautiful, sexy, etc. because he was attracted to ME. He still tells me this and quite frankly has barely commented on my weight loss I didn't do this for him anyway, but it's refreshing to know that he loves me regardless
Your parents are wrong, this guy is wrong. You do not need to be super skinny to find someone, and you are at a healthy weight! Nobody should be calling you fat!
Didn't really read many of the other replies... so sorry if I'm derailing anything.
I wasn't always chubby... I look back at pictures, and I really only started to get chubby around the age of 8, when my family and I moved overseas to Serbia. I continued to gain weight, and was a round chubby little girl (but happy... at the time), by the time I was 10... which was when my Dad started to have vertigo attacks. It was meneare's disease (spell?), and the only real solution was for him to lose weight... so... the entire family went onto the Atkin's Diet. Even though I fought it and cheated ALL the time... I did lose weight, and went from (I think) around 130-150 down to 99 lbs at one point (I just remember my excitement of weighing and being at 99 lbs, which was a healthy weight at that time/height). We moved back to the USA for six months... and started gaining weight again. Continued to gain weight and occasionally diet up until 9th grade... when I was weighed for PE class... and was over 200 lbs. In 9th grade. Granted... I was one of the tallest and strongest girls in my class... but I was huge. Too huge. Been dieting ever since... would lost 5-10 lbs... gained back 10-15. And so on. Highest weight has probably been around 225 to 230... though I have never actually recorded that... so I don't consider it... but... huge. Even though I am 5'9.5"... being that large... isn't fun.
I'm now down almost 25 lbs from my highest recorded weight of 220... and finally feeling as though I've crossed the marker... that I might be able to actually lose it all this time... and hopefully keep it off. I'm 18 right now... have already LOST the Freshman Fifteen... and am wanting to lose a whole lot more.
I've been having a tough time lately, dealing with my worries for my mom, my parents' impending divorce, my grades, and my weight problem. I don't think I go one moment without thinking about it. I'm constantly uncomfortable and have distanced myself from a lot because I feel too bad about myself to participate in anything. Looking in the mirror in the morning has made me cry before, and oftentimes ruins my day, but I just suck it up and go to class even though the last thing I want to do is go out into public. The fact that I still have hope in my future is what keeps me going. I still think about being a healthy, successful woman one day. The truth is, I'm pretty depressed, but I'm also pretty motivated. I'm just sick of having wasted all this time wallowing in self-pity when I could be having a good time. My biggest motivator is my mom though, because I've seen her struggles everyday. She definitely relies on baked goods for comfort sometimes but overall is a VERY healthy eater - lots of vegetables, fruits, fresh juices every day, vegetarian, etc. I know she worries about me constantly, and that's what pushes me even through one of the worse periods of depression that I've had. I've just started so I haven't lost any weight yet, but I'm so glad I found this site.
i can relate to you. i lost all my excessive weight last year but i was so depressed and unhappy that i started binging and gained almost all back. i think i am now at my happy weight at around 87 kg. but i still feel uncofortable around my family who always criticize me and i've been avoiding friends for a long time. i also feel that my schoolmates are looking at me like a failure since i couldn't keep my weight even for a three months. right now even though i feel ok in my skin i still have some body issues and i want to lose 10 pounds but on the other side i don't want to go trough all that again and loosing my boobs and bootie again but i would like to tone up my body a bit more. if i were living alone i could do it easily but as soon as i start eating helthy my mom literary forces me to eat more and cooks a loot of food which ends up in trash. we have been arguing a lot about it and it never ends.
since i was little i was chubby, kids at school called me fat and all kinds of insults just because i was the biggest amongst girls...all the girls in my class were skinny like sticks mostly because they were all starving or didn't like cartain food but also becuase their parents worked all day and couldn't cook for them or simply because their mothers didn't know how to cook. i was very active as a kid. after school i was playing, running, jumping outside with friends all day. the trouble for me was also that my mom didn't know portion control. kids were having adult size portions and you couldn't leave the table untill you finished your plate. and there were always some treats.every summer in elementary school i would plan how i would lose weight during school break and come to school as a new person. well instead i gained more weight every summer. i think i stopped gaining somewhere around the third year of high school after my father died and then two or three years later i decided to loose it finally because i fell in love with some guy but he didn't know that and our time was limited so if it wasn't for him i would never have done it. and sometimes i wish i had never started. it turned my life upside down and it brought all the unwanted attention.
Didn't really read many of the other replies... so sorry if I'm derailing anything.
I wasn't always chubby... I look back at pictures, and I really only started to get chubby around the age of 8, when my family and I moved overseas to Serbia. I continued to gain weight, and was a round chubby little girl (but happy... at the time), by the time I was 10... which was when my Dad started to have vertigo attacks. It was meneare's disease (spell?), and the only real solution was for him to lose weight... so... the entire family went onto the Atkin's Diet. Even though I fought it and cheated ALL the time... I did lose weight, and went from (I think) around 130-150 down to 99 lbs at one point (I just remember my excitement of weighing and being at 99 lbs, which was a healthy weight at that time/height). We moved back to the USA for six months... and started gaining weight again. Continued to gain weight and occasionally diet up until 9th grade... when I was weighed for PE class... and was over 200 lbs. In 9th grade. Granted... I was one of the tallest and strongest girls in my class... but I was huge. Too huge. Been dieting ever since... would lost 5-10 lbs... gained back 10-15. And so on. Highest weight has probably been around 225 to 230... though I have never actually recorded that... so I don't consider it... but... huge. Even though I am 5'9.5"... being that large... isn't fun.
I'm now down almost 25 lbs from my highest recorded weight of 220... and finally feeling as though I've crossed the marker... that I might be able to actually lose it all this time... and hopefully keep it off. I'm 18 right now... have already LOST the Freshman Fifteen... and am wanting to lose a whole lot more.
where exactly did you live in Serbia? and do you speak serbian? i live near Serbia
I lived about 3 and a half years in the town of Nis, most recently though in a small town near Kraljevo. And that's cool... where do you live? (I'm no longer in Serbia though my family still is, now in Texas for college)
ETA: And yeah... I speak Serbian. I know it... but I'm not exactly completely fluent. I just never talked much... so I didn't learn as well as the rest of my family.
I felt fat my whole life even though everyone insisted that I wasn't but now that I look back on pictures I realize I really wasn't. I've got big hands and feet, a huge head and broad shoulders so even at a good weight, I was always bigger than everyone else and felt like a giant. I always wanted to be petite lol I get now that that'll never happen.
After college I started to gain weight, it's pretty much been a 5 year nightmare since college and in the constant struggle to overcome all the obstacles that kept piling on, I piled on about 100 lbs
Now I finally feel like I'm in a position to get my life back on track, starting with my weight because it's the thing I have the most control over.
Last edited by RockemSockem; 11-11-2011 at 11:58 AM.
I've been the fat girl all of my life. I never really had close friends, so instead food became my friend. I have spent so much time feeling lonely, looking at people my own age, wondering why I couldn't be more like them. I felt like there was something to life that I just didn't get, that I was all wrong and that it would never change.
But then I started at college and the world turned upside down. Now I'm happy, I have a lot of really good friends and I actually dance at parties instead of hiding i the corner waiting for it to be over. The only thing bothering me now is my weight. I've realized that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me and that I shouldn't let how I look hold me back. But damn, I want to show up at a party in a little dress, I want to go skinny dipping with my friends and I want a guy to look at me and think that he is the luckiest guy in the world because he is with me. I've tried to lose weight before, but this time I'm doing it for me.
I lived about 3 and a half years in the town of Nis, most recently though in a small town near Kraljevo. And that's cool... where do you live? (I'm no longer in Serbia though my family still is, now in Texas for college)
ETA: And yeah... I speak Serbian. I know it... but I'm not exactly completely fluent. I just never talked much... so I didn't learn as well as the rest of my family.
oh that's awesome...i know many people who are from Nis and Kraljevo.
Ja zivim u Sloveniji ali rodila sam se u Bosni . But we were all one country in the past (yugoslavia)
I was healthy my whole life, and very active. I was on the swim team, i rode my bike every where, i was very outgoing. Then all of the sudden last year i had some issues with my eyes, and my options were go blind or go on a high dose of steroids for an extended period of time. Of course i decided on the steroids...well i more than doubled my weight in six months my weight peaked it 330. I became withdrawn, i didnt want to go anywhere, i felt like crap every day, i couldnt even fit into my clothes...i wore scrubs all the time because i couldnt fit into anything.
I was so depressed that when i got off the meds i didnt even want to do anything to change the way i looked, i felt like it was impossible. Well just not eating constantly ive lost 60lbs! i feel better i leave my house i wear jeans again! I need to get back down to 130 asap, i know that i can do it now. Im new to the site and i think (hope) checking in will give me the extra motivation.
I was a super skinny little kid, and then from 5th to 8th grade I put on a litte bit of chub. Then I went to summer camp and got serious about my figure skating.
I was figure skating 40+ hours a week and was still on my varsity swimteam. 60 hours of exercise week got me very fit. I was a total hottie!!
Then I had to quit skating because of my knees. For the next two years, I was still skating through with my good metabolism and all my muscle burning calories.
Then, BAM. Even though we had moved into an apartment and somewhat cleaned up our eating AND I was going to the gym, I put on 50 lbs in a year. I wondered what ON EARTH was going on. Now I know that I have PCOS. That it started to rear its ugly head in junior high, but I quite literally out exercised it and kept it at bay in high school. Then, when I couldn't exercise like that anymore, it caught up with me like a ton of bricks!
That was 5 years ago and I have put on 30 lbs since then. I've been on WW a few times and know it works, but very slowly (freaking PCOS). This time I'm counting calories through SparkPeople (of course I expect it to go the same rate. That's perfectly fine.)
Being a lighter weight has never helped my PCOS. I ALWAYS have very long, very irregular cycles. But at least I am lucky (for a PCOSer) and DO ovulate, generally at least once every 2-3 months. Until literally the second we started to TTC our second. I have ovulated once since May. I know losing weight won't regulate my cycles, but I am hopeful if I take off the 10 lbs I gained since my daughter's birth 2.5 years ago I might start ovulating again.
I plan to try to lose 10 lbs and then 10 more, etc. I always get too hung up on how much I have to lose, and how quickly I can lose it by, and I always just fade out of eating healthy. I am hoping that because my reason is so important this time, and because I literally only care about the 10 lbs, that I can do it. I am already off to a pretty strong start (being totally OP for 10 days!)
I have no idea what the best weight for me is. I suspect it is at the very top of my healthy range. The only time I have ever been a healthy weight adult, I was a serious athlete, and I think I weighed about 150. I wore a size 6 and looked amazing. I don't know what 150 will look like with less muscle. I'm counting this aspect as something I will feel blessed to worry about when I get there!
Last edited by KellieGettingFit; 11-13-2011 at 11:52 AM.
I was a "normal" weight through childhood but puberty hit around 12/13, along w/stressful family issues, a move, different schools = me coming home after school and eating a bag of chips and dip. Add to that, my family never sat down for meals so I ate a lot of fast food, ate irregularly, didn't know how to cook, etc. I developed and cemented some very bad habits around that time. They've been with me since then (using food as a stabilizing presence in my life, if that makes sense?)
As an adult, my weight fluctuated by about 10 pounds, depending on what was going on in my life. The last couple years, I've put on even more than that and in February, found myself at 224, the heaviest I've ever been. I've been putting a lot more thought into what I eat and why I eat and just generally making changes in my lifestyle. I very much feel like I'm on the right track.
As a kid I was a little bigger than average, but never fat. Though according to my mom I've been fat ever since I was in 4th grade (looking at pictures I wasn't, I was exactly normal-sized). So she's been a big help...at making me think I was fat so as she mentally abused me and I gained weight and thought it was normal because I already thought I was fat. I gained weight consistently through high school and college until my 3rd year, when I had an apartment and could eat what I bought for groceries. Then I went from about 230 to 224 over the course of a year. Nothing big, but I wasn't looking to lose weight either. I was just...feeding myself instead of eating the bullsh*t my mom fed me. In May of this year I started running in order to lose weight. My mom continued to help me by saying our (fat) neighbor had said that I'm going to struggle with my weight for my whole life. Um, I've never "struggled" with my weight. Unlike a lot of people (sadly), the thought hadn't occurred to me before then to try to lose weight, so it's not like I had tried and failed multiple times before this. But I really appreciated her basically saying I was going to fail right when I had just started. /anger My mom did her best to sabotage my diet efforts over the summer (from kicking me off the treadmill to sliding chocolate bars under my bedroom door), but I still lost 20lbs. Since then I've moved out and I've lost 14 more pounds. I can't wait to lose the rest of the weight and when she "congratulates" me to basically be like "up yours, I did this to prove you wrong". /end rant
I have been overweight my entire life. Most of this was because of the need for some attention, what I thought then was love. As a child, my dad died and left my mom a young widow, so she buried her grief in work. The only time I saw her was at dinner and later. She often brought take-out, especially pizza of Fridays and the weekends. So I started associating food with "love" (aka attention) then. This only exacerbated when she sent my sister to live with her parents (my maternal grandparents).
So I often had to get up super early, get dropped off at my other grandmother (my father's mother), then go to school. That grandmother showed her love through food. She use to give me 6 Bob Evan's snackwiches every morning. I remember sometimes forcing myself to finish eating them, because I didn't want to disappoint her. Then I would go to school, come back the her house. She would then either let me play, go get stuff from the library or the movie store, and it would always come with a afternoon snack-anything from more snackwiches to microwave pizzas. This would only get worse in the summers, where I actually got use to eating a Double Quarter Pounder with cheese Super-size large meal at age 7.
As I got older, about 9, we moved to a relatively rural town (near my materal grandparents). This made my mother's commute worse, so I Definitely wouldn't see her except for the 5 or so hours after dinner and before bed, even then we wouldn't talk much because she would take a nap or do something else. I was then use to getting up by myself, getting food, going to school, doing my homework, doing activities, watching tv, and going to bed--ALL BY Myself. I was essentially a functioning adult (minus income and grocery buying, etc) before age 10.
With this the only things I found love/or good feelings from was academics and food. I reunited with my sister, but she had felt the neglect from our mother and was/isn't very friendly to me at all. I remember for years she use to venomously spit at me the phrase, "you're so fat, I hope you die of a heart-attack." This doesn't even get into the verbal abuse from my mother for all these years...her recent favorite threat to use since she can't deck me anymore because I'm taller than her, is "DO YOU WANT TO GO LIVE IN THE SHED!!" and "THIS IS MY HOUSE, SO I CAN TAKE (AWAY) ANYTHING I WANT!!!"I kept ballooning because of this and the despite the cruel "workouts" my mother decided we needed because we were fat (hours of punishing exercising--this is why I hate the idea of 'exercising') when she felt like it. I graduated high school and then college, but there, people still wouldn't accept me for my weight, so I found solace in eating more.
Well I have finally decided no more! Screw the horrible childhood, the witch of a mother, or the hateful rest of my family and other ignorant people. I am doing this for myself...and I know I might only lose a little in the next few months, since I am still living at 'home', trying to find a job in this economy. But once I finally get out of this house and into my own place, I KNOW I will finally have some peace and be able to be me, with a slimmer body.
P.S.-thanks for listening to my rant...it was cathartic for me.
It's not weight—it's YOU! How you carry yourself, how you act, etc. I met my fiancee at my starting weight. For the majority of our relationship I was that weight. He always told me I was beautiful, sexy, etc. because he was attracted to ME. He still tells me this and quite frankly has barely commented on my weight loss 
I didn't do this for him anyway, but it's refreshing to know that he loves me regardless 
