So.. long story short.
I fell off the bandwagon this week and managed to gain a couple of pounds back. I've been through this yo-yoing plenty of times before and my hubby knows this.
So.. I'm picking up the pieces and starting again, but my cravings are still roaring. I told hubby that I was craving Taco Bell for dinner and he goes "why?" to which I said "because like you I like Taco Bell?" and he goes "you're on a diet". Ok.. So I told him he didn't have to be so harsh about it. I can still crave Taco Bell just like he can only he always gets it and I don't to which he says "I need to keep you in line."
Ugh.. this statement hit a sore spot in me (along with the fact that I have come down with a cold and I'm not in the best of moods) and something like this happens every time he tries to "help" me on my diet. It's just so frustrating because I really could use the support system but I can't stand having this dynamic in our relationship where I get reprimanded over food.
So my question is- How does hubby help you with your weight loss? Does it ever result in hard feelings?
Hubby is hands off with the weight loss stuff. He knows that i feel bad about the way i look and even if he is just gently encouraging that ill take it personally. He is encouraging about my running, though
I was literally just about to hop off the computer to go get me some taco bell for dinner! I've lost 4lbs this week and I've had taco bell 3 or 4 times!!
I either get 1 chicken burrito & diet coke (480 cals) or two supreme tacos & diet coke (400 cals).
As long as I stay at 1200 calories I pretty much let myself eat what I am craving so I don't freak out and binge. But I snack on a lot of healthy stuff, too.
Im not married but my boyfriend has been incredible about me losing weight: always encouraging, always telling me im beautiful, and MOST of the time he knows how to motivate without making me feel self conscious about how i was before. Dunno what I'd do without that because right now its the only support system I've got - hopefully you and your hubby find the right ratio of encouragement/tough love, hang in there
My boyfriend generally tells me, if I really really want it then I can go get it, but before I go get it he tells me to sit there for an hour and think about it. Generally by the time that hour is up I have realized that I'll only feel guilty about it the next day....but if I am still really craving whatever it is, I'll go get it and just get smaller portions of it. My problem has always been eating without thinking about it, so this slowing down and thinking about what I'm going to put into my body and why helps me control my cravings.
My boyfriend generally tells me, if I really really want it then I can go get it, but before I go get it he tells me to sit there for an hour and think about it. Generally by the time that hour is up I have realized that I'll only feel guilty about it the next day....but if I am still really craving whatever it is, I'll go get it and just get smaller portions of it. My problem has always been eating without thinking about it, so this slowing down and thinking about what I'm going to put into my body and why helps me control my cravings.
That is genius! I so just think something will be good, when mostly I am not even hungry.
For husbands: It took many dieting attempts for my husband and I to come to an understanding about what kind of support was helpful to me. I didn't need a coach or a warden. I just needed someone to vent to, ***** to, complain to and occasionally rag about not being able to eat the same yummy foods! LOL
My fiancee had tried to encourage me to lose weight the way I thought I needed him to encourage me. The sweet, sensitive, encourage me no matter what way.
The months went by and I wasn't making any progress. Eventually it got worse and I was gaining and I wasn't caring anymore. He would address my weight (like any concerned significant other would do) and I would get mad and we would argue about it constantly. I would always feel like crap and I said I would make changes but I never did. Eventually he had enough and needed to make me see my unhealthy self the way he did or else I would never make the necessary changes I needed to for my health.
I think lots of women wouldn't agree with this method of encouragement because boyfriends/fiancee's/husbands are suppose to love you exactly how you are, no matter what. But I think if someone's health and happiness are at jepordy then some 'tough love' is necessary.
Where would I be today if he had lied to me and told me I looked good in everything I put on? I would have false confidence about myself and would think that others thought I looked good as well, when in fact they probably didn't.
I've already lost 15lbs and when I look back on vacation photos of us a year ago, I feel extremely sick to my stomach because I look like a huge fat cow!! I couldn't believe I let myself get that big!
Now that I've made some progress he is a little 'warmer' when encouraging me, but I don't really want him to change the way he's doing things because it works for me. It makes me work that much harder and I feel that much better about myself.
My FH has saved my life (not only with opening my eyes to losing weight, but he also helped me get off medication that my doctor's said I would be on for the rest of my life - which was complete BS).
I now have a life and a family. The happier I am with my body, the happier I'll be with my life. (Sorry for the large pictures)
My hubby has been quite happy to be my sounding board for my weight loss journey, and in fact we're doing it together, just not always in the same way and not at the same rate.
We were both food pushers, always asking each other if the other person wanted more food, or just plopping it on their plates without asking. We've had to retrain ourselves to not do that anymore, as well as making sure that we ask the other person if they want more food - we do this once and only once now.
Also hubby and I will both ask the other if they're sure about going out for some junk food/fast food if they're craving it. It's not meant in a bad/snarky way and we've both agreed that we don't say it to be mean, just to give the other person a reality check and make them think about it before acting. If we do still want the junk food, then we'll have it, but we'll have at least thought about it first and not eaten it mindlessly.
We still moan and whine to each other about the junk food we miss or the amount of times we used to eat out, but we both agree that we feel so much better being healthier & thinner.
I never told my fiancee I was starting to lose weight. Eventually when everyone started to notice, I asked him what he thought. He kind of sputtered and said he really didn't know what to think. He just wanted me to be happy. He also doesn't have a weight problem (he was actually underweight when we started dating, but is now on the higher end of "normal") so I can't exactly ask him to do this with me!
He's honestly my biggest support though because he doesn't bother me about my food choices. Everyone else is concerned about me getting too skinny (really? I'm still overweight) and is "worried" that I'm not eating. My mother had to defend me at the gym the other day! One of the women said I should join weight watchers because they would teach me to eat properly. Before I could even get a word out, my mother said I do eat and that I am young so the weight comes off pretty fast (when in reality I'm not really losing that fast).
My fiancee will suggest places to eat (we only see each other on the weekends) and if I don't want to go there, he's fine with that. More often than not though, I won't refuse. Counting calories has really helped me here because if I really want to eat some pizza or go to a fast food joint, I can! In fact I eat pretty crappy on the weekends, but because I still count my calories I still lose weight. That's not every weekend of course There are some where we just cook food and stay in
He never questions me or says "Aren't you on a diet?" We just eat. I do my thing and he does his.
gnat7 - You've made some amazing progress, congrats!! You look great!!
My boyfriend and I have had our up and down moments. I went through an emotional breakdown, and confidence with my body was a huge factor. I think if he would have given me tough love, I would never have recovered emotionally.
Right now I've overcome my confidence issues and that breakdown is a thing of the past. The BF just lets me get on with my weight loss and my diet (mainly because it's long distance right now) - but when we were around he would do what Divine's boyfriend would do and say "Do you REALLY want it."
I actually like doing this on my own, I needed to do this on my own and gain the motivation myself and not rely on anyone else to do it. I know it doesn't always work for everyone, but I've personally found it liberating and I love knowing that it's my own sheer determination that's getting me somewhere.
When I visit him next I'm going to make him keep me in line. I'm going to be eating terrible but delicious food, so I need someone to make me work out and make me not over indulge. It's ok to treat myself, but when it starts becoming excessive I want him to step in.
But he's always said to me that losing weight is "the cherry on top of an already delicious cake." He thought I was sexy at my highest weight, which I'm astonished at because I looked HUGE last year!!
My boyfriend is AMAZING about the whole weight loss thing. When I first told him that I was uncomfortable where I was at and wasn't as confident as I wanted to be, he truly was shocked! He said that he always thought I looked perfect no matter what, but if it is what I want, then he knows I can do it.
That was super motivating to hear. Not "I'll support you while you try to do it" or "I'll keep you in line while you try to do it" just simply "I know you can do it." That was the boost of confidence to get me going in the right direction..because at the point I started I wasn't even entirely sure I'd be able to do it!
Now 9 lbs lost and 17 more to go, I know I can, too.
Also, like Riestrella, my boyfriend and I have to do the long-distance thing for one more year because of university. So, we only are able to see each other about once every two months for 3-4 days at MOST. He's generally very active and likes to be healthy too (although he doesn't need to, he's got an amazing swimmer's body and super fast metabolism) so whenever we're together I'm generally able to stay on plan. And even if we do eat out or get dessert, I never feel bad about it. Because that's one day in two months that I'm off plan, and it's with the person I love.
my fiance is very supportive just by not eating junk around me and sometime he will comment and i used to get annoyed and one day he told me. "I have loved for who you are. Your the one that wanted to change you. I never wanted to change you. Your the one who asked for help and support when I could." so that really snapped me.
So now when i reach for a really sugary cookie. He will ask questions like, "Is that in your budget?" or "you know we have the whole grain ones in the pantry" stuff like that. Its really nice but i still get mad sometimes. And ill give him the look of death. He will smile and say well is it in your budget? lol
Im glad we have gotten to a point where even if i get mad he knows really im getting mad at myself in a weak moment. : )
My husband is semi-supportive. He certainly doesn't dissuade me from eating certain things. I am weak when I see him ordering whatever he wants, or eating bagels in the morning while I have a protein shake I tend to feel resentful. He thinks I'm perfect the way I am, and that's sweet, but I know have a few more pounds to lose. I ordered a really nice winter coat online. I am too proud to send it back for the next size up as this one is a teeny bit tight, so I'm back on the HCG drops to get my weight down. I wish my vanity wouldn't get the best of me. What a crock. Why can't I just be happy with my body? GRRRRR!
My husband and I are both trying to make better food choices. He doesn't have nearly as much to lose as me but yeah...
We both expressed early on that we'd encourage not because we were unhappy with each other but because we've each expressed our unhappiness with ourselves. If we are hellbent on eating something that is outside of our healthy choices, we've both said "That's probably not the best choice, I can help make something better if you'd like. But in the end, you're an adult and must make your own choice" and leave it at that.
I can't make his decisions and he can't make mine. We can provide nonjudgemental reminders and suggestions at the onset of a less desireable decision with hopes of derailing it. Once it's occured, nothing further is said except maybe "That was dumb" to ourselves.
Hubby's & Support Systems
There are some where we just cook food and stay in 
