So I've been online dating for a while now...I always go back to it when I get out of a relationship. I have been talking to a guy for a few days now who actually goes to my school and lives in my town (score!). He seems really nice and I think we have a lot in common. Anyway, we're going on our first date today and I'm only slightly freaking out. I always have the same concern: the guy's going to look at me and be like, "umm..no". It's never actually happened, but then again I've never really gone out with a stereotypically "hot" guy before.

I think that's what makes me so nervous! He's in the military and really buff/athletic. I'm pretty sure he can tell what I look like in my pictures but I'm still freaking out that he's going to be repulsed. I'm seriously trying to have confidence here, b/c I know that's what guys find attractive. But it's a little difficult when going out with a guy who, in the back of my mind, I feel is "out of my league" so to speak. Maybe I'll go run before our date to give myself a momentary boost of confidence lol.

Any advice??

Has he seen a realistic full-length photo of you? Then don't worry.

I know exactly what you mean, if your pics give an accurate representation of what you look like, then he probably likes the way you look, he wouldn't have asked you out otherwise. If he wanted to date someone who was as buff/fit as he is he'd go out with someone in the army! Just relax, wear something that makes you feel amazing and you'll be fine. Just don't do what I did before an internet date and have a drink! Let us know how it goes xx

1. we are our own worst critic. guys like boobs and butts and legs, and arent as critical as we are of ourselves.
2. if he is that critical, then you deserve better than that, because he should be looking for someone that connects to more than looks

A friend arranged a blind date for me once, this guy was drop dead gorgeous, movie star handsome.....too bad he didn't have a personality to go with his looks. One date was enough.
What I am saying is looks aren't everything. Your date probably knows this.

Thanks guys. He seems like a very genuine person who values intelligence, personality, etc. in a person. Which is good. I guess there's just always an illogical fear that I'm not going to be given a chance b/c of my weight. Maybe b/c it's happened so many times, it's ingrained in my mind now. Anyway, I'll try to relax! Easier said than done lol

I totally understand, after many unsuccessful internet dates I have the same fear, once you get there and meet him you'll be fine. Good luck. x

Going for a run is a great idea. It'll clear your head, most of all.

Also, there was another thread about this not too long ago and the poster of that thread ended up having a great time. On their second date, (if I'm remembering correctly) the guy's comment about her body was: "About that: you're perfect." So let that be some inspiration for you!

I LOVE MY MILITARY GUY! And when I met him I was at my highest weight....187 lbs at 5'3..and he did not go running in the other direction =) We started talking online in April of 2009 and were married in August of 2010! I had the same worries as you before I met him in person, but I figured if he walks away he walks away but at least I'll give it a go. I think you'll be fine! At 5'7 Im sure you wear your 181 far better than I wore my 187! Go and enjoy your date

But you're doing something about your weight and that is great! Whatever happens with this guy (or doesn't happen) don't do anything that might derail you from the positive steps you are taking to become a healthier, more confident woman.

Sadly the two military guys I've met lately have been heavy! Clearly they have desk jobs!

Well.....I've been happily married for many years so not sure if my opinion counts, but I'm pretty sure that you don't have anything to worry about. As someone else said, we are our own worst critic. And since you've gotten this far, that certainly shows that he's interested .

Relax, laugh, have a good time!

Thanks everyone for the encouragement! I knew posting on here would help me chill out! I just went for a run (C25k) and I feel more relaxed. Time to get ready and meet him for coffee. Wish me luck

Good luck! Let us know how it goes!

I would say it can go either way with a guy in the military... I'm sure that seems harsh, but my husband is Army so I've met plenty of them. =P

But you make it sound like he seems like a pretty good guy, hopefully it's just self doubt that's getting you down. =) Good luck! Hope he's a keeper.

How did the coffee date go?? Update please