mkendrick, I really relate to you about coming into your own style later due to weight insecurity!
I feel like I never got to enjoy my childhood and teen years because of my weight. Too fat to be cute, and then too fat to be pretty.
I've spent most of my life feeling like an outsider. I felt rejected by my peers and developed a foul attitude and major depression due to my low self esteem and I have to deal with the consequences of that now.
I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 20+.
Sometimes I see teen girls in my town and they look so pretty and natural, I never got to feel that way.
My weight is a symptom of a lot of unhappiness in my life, but as superficial as it sounds... it's also a root cause of much of it.
Sunday, I completely get what you're saying. I started becoming heavier in secondish grade and then was well over two hundred pounds through out highschool. I went to private school so most of the kids came from money and typically, for women atleast, good looks tend to go with money. Its not right but when you have money you can fix things. Everyone around me was hott. Haha. So through highschool and all that I never had boyfriends and kind of developed a hostile unfeminine edge because I didn't feel that because I was fat I was pretty enough to act girly. As a result I kind of let my appearance drag. It also didn't help that I couldn't wear clothes that I liked. This left me way unconfident and behind in the dating game. Well, those haven't been problems but every now and then insecurity rears its ugly head or I get duped by men becaue I haven't had the experience. Oh well. We will all figure it out. lol.
redliss! I went to a catty private school as well and the girls WERE gorgeous. It's hard to hear stuff about normal people coming in all different shapes and sizes when all your peers are Australian size 8s and picture perfect. So many emotional consequences to that whole environment.
I am soo glad I'm not in high school anymore! TBH, many of those girls had severe eating disorders. I changed schools when I was 16 due to anxiety and it was a much healthier environment.
That reminds me... I read on a parenting forum last night about how a lot of teen girls have stopped eating at school because they don't want to be 'the chick that eats'. Talk about disfunction!
But yeah. Feeling less than female is probably the biggest casualty of my being overweight since I was ten. I still struggle with that. Being tall and broad and having small breasts, etc. That won't change with weight loss. But now I notice women who are more like myself, rather than comparing myself to women of totally different builds.
My weight has kept me from:
- wearing cute clothing (though it hasn't always stopped me from buying them!)
- going to the beach or the pool
- being confident
- dancing in clubs (surely everyone must be watching the fat girl dance?)
- taking/being in a lot of pictures (because I hate the way I look in them)
- flirting with guys
- dating (because any guy who showed an interest--i just totally shut down)
It goes on. Confidence will come with time I'm sure. It won't just come from weightloss. But if I don't have to worry about being the biggest girl in the group that will be one less thing to worry about .
My weight has kept me from being as "open" with my husband as I used to be. My lack of confidence has made me less eager to engage in extracurricular activities, you know what I'm saying?
Also, I made been wearing the same hoodie and two pairs of pants for the last two months. I recently graduated to three pairs of pants with the weight loss I have experienced so far. I REFUSE to buy new clothes just because I ate my way through college to deal with stress. Once I get down into the 40s I will buy a pair or two of thrift store jeans, but I just have WAY to many cute clothes that were my size before college that I am more focused on getting back into.
I wasn't very heavy in high school, I was just always a little tiny bit bigger than the other girls, and I had massive boobs...
Then when I was 18-19-20, I found that men paid a lot of attention to me, and I married early (21). Once, I started gaining weight I began to become invisible... And I began to start disliking myself, and never trusting my judgement. My weight gave me a shield and a reason to stay away from people. A reason not to spend much money on clothes (because who did I have to impress anyway?). When I got divorced, my weight was always the reason for which I put on the breaks with some reasonable guys, I always thought they would cringe at the thought of seeing me unclothed... I think I used my weight as an excuse for not living my life...
I don't think my weight held me back from anything, I think in the end, I held me back from things. My desire to lose weight came after I decided to start taking care of myself, and buy clothes, wear heels, feel pretty. I decided, that I didn't want my weight to be my excuse anymore for not loving myself.
I still struggle a lot (everyday), but now, when I look in the mirror, I don't see the fat ugly girl anymore, I see a work in progress
-being more outgoing
-going out with guys that actually liked me for me(i've never had a bf)
-really enjoying hanging out with my 3 skinnier and prettier best friends
-feeling comfortable enough to let go at a club
-never having a date to a school dance(i only got asked once but i turned him down because i just froze when i was around him after that)
-of coarse, the cute clothes
-going to the pool and the beach(i only go if i'm wearing a tanktop and swimming shorts)
-enjoying my young self when i lived in england and the azores
-just being able to be me
Freaking EVERYTHING. I'm not kidding. I am a different person now. People that knew me then/now say it all the time. I used to be extremely shy, I had no self esteem, I was a really angry and jealous person, I was too scared to get a job and at my high weight I couldn't even deal with HS anymore sadly. It also is the reason I started experimenting with drinking and other things, and that I started smoking. It also kept me from dealing with my problems, because I swept them under the rug with food. I'm so so so so so so so much happier now, it's unbelievable.
My weight has held me back from dressing in cute clothes (which is why I'm basically a tomboy... jeans, t-shirts, and hoodies everyday). Going out (clubbing, meeting new people, whatever). Feeling confident. Participating in fun activities with friends; I live on the river but avoid swimming/boating/tubing/etc because that requires wearing less clothing. Believing in myself.
Being happy in general.
EXACTLY! I wear t-shirts, hoodies, and Im tired of it. I wanna be that girl who can wear cute clothes such as a cute sweater/coat with fur on the hood and the cute boots. Ugh! Also feeling sexy around my husband. Being happy in general as well. Always feel like im being stared at or talked about in public Missing out on alot!
My list mostly includes things that have already been said:
-Wearing the clothes I want to wear. I know there are cute clothes for plus size girls, too, but it's just not the same.
-Being confident around guys. When I was lighter I used to get a lot of attention from guys and I was flattered by it, but now, even though I don't get as much attention, I can't stand it when I do get it. It's like I don't want them to look at me! I actually do miss the attention I used to get, but I don't want it now because I'm not confident about my weight.
-Dancing. I seriously haven't danced around anyone since I was about 11, and that was only because I had to since I was in a dance show for school (which I hated).
-Taking pictures. I avoid them at costs! It's rare that I like the way I look in any of them.
It's not really my weight that's held me back because I actually think I look fine the way I am (although I would be much happier at a lighter weight). It's more the way I think people perceive me because of my weight.
redliss! I went to a catty private school as well and the girls WERE gorgeous. It's hard to hear stuff about normal people coming in all different shapes and sizes when all your peers are Australian size 8s and picture perfect. So many emotional consequences to that whole environment. 
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