I am the fartiest person EVER. That always scares me when I am in relationships. I laugh too hard? I rip one. Sneeze? Rip one. Eat too many vegetables (lol) I rip one. Sitting here trying not to do all three? I rip one.

I'm also a legendary pooper. My friends hate me for coming up with the term "peanut butter blast adventure".

I'm always constipated and I talk about it incessantly. The world knows much of my sh!tting habits, subtleties and nuances.

I don't poop in front of my boyfriend, good god. Some things must be kept sacred.

BAHAHHAHAHAHA this thread is FANTASTIC.

I get constipated constantly too, Krampus! (Also, your name is hilarious in context with your post, ha) Worst is that it usually takes a lot to un-constipate me (spinach, coffee, fiber supplements, oooor if it's been a few days, a few pieces of sugar-free candy laden with laxative-effect sugar alcohol), so when I do poop, I'm also gassy and sometimes (when I turn to the candy) it comes out as what I have dubbed "****pee" and it not like diarrhea in the fact that it's mostly water. My roommate's room is next to the bathroom, and thank god I don't really care what he thinks of me, because he must tell his friends "Good grief! My roommate takes the noisiest, most terrible-sounding poops EVER."

You girls are hilarious!

Ok I have a TMI issue...I don't even want to really share it but need to see if anyone else has this issue. My belly button stinks. Sometimes it even has a little secretions. I do not know why. I shower every day and clean my belly button everyday. Has this occurred to anyone else? It completely grosses my out.


I have NEVER NEVER NEVER poo'd in front of a bf/hubby. Never even peed in front of a man. My hubby feels the same about poo'ing around me, he calls it his "thinking time."

This used to happen to me! It is (ew) a bacterial infection (ewwwwwwwwwwww) and it comes from moisture being caught in the navel along with dead skin, lint, etc etc. Not enough oxygen gets in there, bacteria flourishes, bacteria hits the oxygen and dies and that's why it smells weird.

Solution! In addition to just cleaning out your navel, you should (and I do this before AND after my shower--currently only do it once a week and don't have a problem, but you should do it every day for a week to make sure you kill everything) THOROUGHLY swab it with a cotton q-tip dipped in rubbing alcohol. I personally like to use hydrogen peroxide before my shower, then I rinse it in the shower (no soap!) then swab with rubbing alcohol.

Since it sounds like you've got a decent infection there, I have to warn you, it's going to sting. But the pain is worth having a nice clean navel.

Edit: Important is that you dry your navel thoroughly after the shower, before the rubbing alcohol, and then I swab with a fully saturated q-tip and let it sit for a minute, then dry it with a fresh q-tip. It's important to keep it dry.

Alice - I've had that problem before and I had no idea it was an infection! I had the problem a few times in the summer, despite being very hygienic. Thank you for the tips on what to do!

Alice- You are my new best friend!! Thank you!!! I'm also glad that I am not the only one that has had this issue.

Ok, this is actually kind of a "serious" issue. Eh....sort of, lol.

My fiance, my prince charming, thinks farting is the funniest thing in the world, I swear. He's a soldier who just spent a year in Iraq with a bunch of dudes. I'm sure farting was their main form of entertainment. That said, dutch ovens, farting as loud as he can when I walk into the room, coming over to hug me and then farting, etc are all hilllllllaaaaarious to him. It's just getting rather old. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a total scrooge (shoot, I started this thread, lol), I can laugh at a well-timed butt-fluff, and I'll even fire off a couple of my own. It's just the constant fart, giggle, fart, giggle, fart, giggle pattern that is getting boring.

At first I'd laugh and return fire, but as an adult, I'm only entertained by farting for so long. So then I just started ignoring him. I figured if he didn't get a reaction from me, maybe after the 100th time, he'd give it up. Well, the 1,000th time passed, and he still giggled as much as ever. I did try to have a "grown-up" conversation with him about it. I said something along the lines of "Look, you know I have a sense of humor, but I'm your wife-to-be...not one of your soldier buddies. I'm starting to get tired of the constant farting, I can laugh at it every once in awhile, but it's not funny when you do it constantly." I said it just like I would any serious confrontation, but he busted out giggling as soon as I said "fart"...........can somebody check his ID please to make sure I'm not marrying a 7yo??

I dunno, any advice? Is this just part of the reality of living with a guy? Again, I hate to be a scrooge, because I am absolutely one who can (usually) laugh at this stuff. But it really is starting to annoy and frustrate me. It even kind of hurts my feelings when I come over to give him a sweet hug and he farts. Talk about an intimacy/romance killer.

GROSS. What a turnoff. Don't sleep with him if he keeps farting and if he gets all "what's your problem?" say you're less attracted to him because of the farting.

A shame you have to even think about such measures. I really lucked out with a boyfriend who doesn't EVER burp or fart.

mkendrick I have been married to a constant farter for almost 5 years! I haven't had any success at having him stop farting either *sigh*

Hehe, thanks guys.

It's really not the farting itself that annoys me. I mean shoot, getting annoyed at him farting at all would be like getting mad at somebody for breathing. Everyone does it. I get tired of the "farting for sport." The loudest fart, the best-timed far, the fart closest to my face, etc etc.

I confronted him again last night, and made it a bit more serious. I was laying in bed reading, he walked over to my side of the bed, turned around and bent over to grab something, farted, and turned around with this ridiculous goofy victorious grin. Without smiling or even looking up from my book, I said "I'd really appreciate if you wouldn't do that." He kind of dismissed it and said I'm "such a girl." So I put my book down and said "yes, I am a girl, I'm a girl who is about to be your wife. Not one of your buddies. I'd appreciate if you wouldn't do that, the joke is over and it's starting to feel disrespectful." Picked my book up and kept reading. He acted all huffy and slept on the couch, lol, he'll get over it. At least now he knows that I'm not joking around...it's NOT funny to me anymore.

Wheeew, sorry to suck the fun out of this thread. Here's a tidbit of shameless TMI to liven it back up...It's 4:45am right now. We're going to see family at 6, and I like to be up a few hours early to go on a walk and sip coffee. So I went for my stroll around the apartment complex at about 4:15am. I'm thinking, nobody is going to be awake at 4:15am on a Wednesday, right?? So I let out the most long-winded triumphant fart ever. The kind that makes you say "Oh **** yeah" to yourself; I even cocked my leg out a bit for maximum expulsion. Immediately after, I heard a guy's voice on the balcony above me say "Holy s***, dude, that chick just busted ***...did you hear that!?" Needless to say, I walked a little bit faster, lol.

mkendrick-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...wow that made my morning :)

my husband is also a farter..its really annoying when he will be in the bathroom, then walk out and fart! ughhh...anyway you are not alone in the fart dept because he thinks its hilarious to gross me out. Thank goodness we have a newborn because he does it alot less now.

megan that made my morning!!!!!!!! i have to say, i thought your post about your fiance was hilarious too (although i know you don't quite find it funny at the moment) so i read it to my husband, because he is somewhat the same when it comes to farting. he laughed a little nervous laugh. i could see his mind reeling....does my wife think of my farts like this???
we enjoy fart jokes in our house too, but i think there is a line that can be crossed. i would probably do harm to him if he farted in my face. lol
*sigh* sometimes i miss the whole early relationship moments where you just don't fart in front of eachother and everything is sweet and all.

jenn33082-i've also had that issue lol. i have a deep belly button too. i just make sure to wash it in the shower or bath with soap and water. but that's all i've done.

This isn't that TMI but I thought I'd share my wonderful "yes you're still fat" moment with you ladies... and give the thread a little bump.


So after an extremely long stall, my weight has finaly started moving down again. Yesterday I got into the 220s and was super pumped about it! So I'm running on the treadmill feeling all kinds of sexy and badass. Then my belly flap (which was apparently bouncing much more violently than I realized) hit the STOP button, sending me running into the screen! Smoooooth operator.