you not a prude...but maybe just a bit self conscious.
I have no problem with it. I always find it odd how women feel the need to change in a stall or dressing room...but then again..i did three years in the army in which dignity went out the door. You got undressed with others, peed in front of peope during random drug screening...therefore you learned to get comfy with your body really quick LOL
Naked women don't bother me much. I just refuse to get naked in public. If you want to, thats your choice!. I do get nervous that if I accidently peak and someone catches me, people will think I'm a pervert though. haha.
Honestly I have no problem if someone is feeling modest and wants to get dressed or undressed in a stall or behind a curtain or whatever. We all have our own comfort levels.
What bothers me is when someone tries to make me feel bad for being comfortable enough with my own body to be naked in a dressing room. Because, honestly, it's a DRESSING ROOM. The point is to undress and redress. Walking naked from the shower to my locker, or standing naked in front of my locker applying deodorant or lotion, or whatever ... I shouldn't be looked at askance for doing that.
But then I'm pretty much a big live-and-let-live person. If what you're doing doesn't infringe on my actions, then I really don't care. Dress, don't dress, whatever.
I really meant it when I said it's not wrong either way. I don't think that the woman who IS comfortable needs to do the keep-it-covered dance (though I also don't want to see the nude air guitar show on the counter tops), but naked walking, standing, sitting - whatever (although I do get a little uncomfortable when I see someone sitting naked on a bench without a towel under them - and I can't help but think of them when I put my towel down to sit upon the bench even though I've chosen another bench or area of the bench, I find myself doubling the towel just in case a similar situation occurred on the area of bench I have chosen).
And I think it's also perfectly fine to change in the private stalls or bathroom stalls if you are shy or just like the less-exposed feeling (I certainly do).
The important part is trying not to be overly critical of your choice (or anyone else's), or to take it too seriously (easier said than done, believe me I do understand that).
I know I sound a lot more confident than I am - and I know to others I look more confident than I am. Part of that is a defense-mechanism learned at an early age as an obese child all of my school years (except a couple blessed years in high school on prescription amphetemine diet pills). NEVER LET THEM SEE YOUR FEAR. Children are like wolves, they can smell fear and will torment you for it. If you act confident and laugh at them or yourself before they have a chance to laugh at you - you win and even make friends.
Adults aren't much better.
And I think that's what's the worst part about it. The fear in women's locker rooms is almost palpable, you sense it when you walk in the door. I think it's why the confident ones stand out as complete freaks - what the heck are you so confident about? Why aren't you cringing, staring straight ahead and getting dressed as quickly as you can like the rest of us? You don't have to do the keep-it-covered dance, but don't just stand there for cripes sake! Aren't you at least chilly?
Of course all of this dialog in the locker room is in the brains, because everyone knows you're not supposed to CHAT while nake, and anyone who does has to be a little crazy, right?
I think what helped me get over a lot of the locker room insanity is actually going to the warm water therapy pool. It's a county supported warm water pool at a local health care center, and you need a doctor's referral to attend. So the atmosphere is very different than your typical gym. The bodies come in a much wider variety of shapes and sizes and since illness and injury is a prerequesite for admittance, well let's just say some days I felt like I had the best body in the pool (VERY scary). And on the other hand, the variety was pretty surprising. 85 year old grandmas with bodies many 40 year olds would envy (I sure did), injured highschool and college athletes, and a wide ranges of sagging and scarred bodies too. Amputees, burn victims, and a bunch of average looking men and women with arthritis, fibromyalgia, diabetes, heart conditions...
It wasn't the range of bodies alone that got me a little less sensitive about my body, but the nonchalance many of these women had in the locker room. All the while they are showering, walking to the dressing areas, and in all stages of changing - they're chatting. Some are in towels, many are not in towels, or their towel is too small to cover anything. Bodies everywhere and CHATTING going on (I felt like I was on another planet at first).
There are three enclosed showers, and the rest are open. I always take an enclosed shower if I can. If I want a decent shower and not a rinse, I do need my privacy. I take HUGE towels, so that I can wrap myself (and at my size finding towels big enough is a challenge), and I sort of panic if any of the ladies makes eye contact and starts chatting with me. I just don't have a social "map" for naked chatting. I feel like a deer caught in the headlights. What are appropriate topics for naked chatting? What is the appropriate amount and level of eye contact required in naked chatting? Do I just stand there? Or should I be walking toward the dressing area during the chat?
I'm still not comfortable with naked chatting, but I am at least a lot more comfortable in the getting dressed and undressed process (though I still close the curtains in the dressing area and if someone comes in while I'm dressing I don't make eye contact or conversation unless the other woman starts it - conversation, as I wouldn't see eye contact with my eyes on the ground as I dress).
What IS amazing though is seeing women with bodies similar to mine BEING as comfortable with their bodies as any bikini model. That is the weirdest thing, and one of the most wonderful. To see two women in their 70's with a hundred or more pounds to lose, and boobies to the knees and several rolls of back fat just being completely comfortable enough to chat while they get dressed - it's kind of an awesome experience. Enviable at least.
It makes me wonder if they've always been comfortable or if they learned it somewhere, or if somewhere along in the aging process you just get tired of caring what other people think,
maybe it's like the Jenny Joseph poem:
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other peoples gardens
And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
I have absolutely no problem with people being naked around me in a changing room. I don't like it when people intrude into my "personal space", but I would take issue with that whether they were clothed or not.
I would probably choose to change in a cubicle if there was one available, but not because I feel there's anything wrong or shameful about being naked in front of other people. It's just because I've been exposed to 23 years worth of unfortunate conditioning that nudity in public = embarrassing and not "the done thing".
Earlier on in the summer, one of my best friends and I went to a beach, which turned out to be a naturist beach (we knew there was one in the area, but didn't know it was the one we'd planned to visit). For about 10 minutes I felt a bit embarrassed because it was unfamiliar and I didn't know where to look, but in the end, I became completely comfortable with it. I'd actually choose to go back there again because not only was it a beautiful spot, but there were no children, which was fairly novel for the seaside, and it was very peaceful and quiet. It was really great actually, almost everybody there was middle aged or elderly, and there were all sorts of shapes and sizes of person. I think the fact that the people there were more mature just made it more relaxing because these people had obviously just grown to be comfortable in their own skin, which is really a beautiful thing. We stayed in our bikinis, which was again, completely acceptable. The atmosphere was friendly and relaxed, and it was so refreshing to see people being comfortable with their own bodies and not being ashamed to be seen without clothes.
Anyway, in answer to the initial question, I do not think it makes you a prude if you're uncomfortable with people being naked. I think a lot of it boils down to what you are used to and what you've been conditioned to view as socially acceptable. In short, I agree with this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nikaia
Modesty is just another word for institutionalized shame. Nobody has ever answered the question "Why do you think we need to be modest" satisfactorily (that I've heard, anyway) without referencing a deity and a religion that not everyone believes in.
I understand we have social conventions around nudity, of course. But locker rooms are one of the "acceptable" places to be nude, so I'd say just let them do their thing - no matter how "overly"-comfortable they are - and do yours regardless.
I'm not always the most comfortable being seen nude, because I have body image issues like many of us do, but honestly, I'd say most women in a locker room aren't even watching each other that much. Nothing to worry about, if you look at it that way.
Thanks for the responses ladies, I think it probably goes back to how I grew up I have 2 sisters and we never really changed in front of each other after the age of 9. For me being naked in a locker room in full view of others is not something I can do because I'm not accustomed to it but for those who are I think that is fine. I just felt these two ladies where a bit exhibitionist I have been in locker rooms since I was 5 (am 24 now) but this was something I had never seen.
Nikaia: you make a very interesting point.
luvja: lol thats how I feel as well.
Photochick: I am of the mindset that the locker room is an appropriate place to be naked and I don't have the attitude that people should be ashamed to be naked I definitely don't want to infringe upon anyones rights. I admire your self confidence.
jahjah1223 & Extasee58865: I'm glad you can relate.
kaplods: you have given me some perspective I hadn't considered how cultural conditioning surrounding nudity for those of us in the west influences our behavior and attitudes. Oh and the naked seating on the bench thing bugs me a little as well.
GatorgalstuckinGA: you are my hero I don't know that I could do that, I have had to take drug test but never supervised ones.
Modesty is just another word for institutionalized shame. Nobody has ever answered the question "Why do you think we need to be modest" satisfactorily (that I've heard, anyway) without referencing a deity and a religion that not everyone believes in.
I so completely agree with this.
I think it's a crime that American culture has stigmatized our bodies and our sexuality to the point that we need to feel shame about any of it.
I only feel uncomfortable naked when I think other people around me are making a big scene about it--like a woman drying her privates with the hand dryer near the sinks--or women that stay butt naked wayyyy longer than necessary. In Asia and Europe I have gotten naked and stayed naked way longer because in those cultures it seems the women are just doing their thing and not "strutting their stuff" when naked and making some production out of it. It also makes me especially uncomfortable when lesbians are doing that around me.
I think its a little too far out there for me as well...
I don't know how to act, so I just put my head to the floor and find my way to the locker.. lol
One time it was a little too much though.. I walked into the locker room and there was this girl who had her legs spread out on the floor and was bent over with her bottom facing right at me... I didn't know whether to laugh or run away.... lol
Last edited by mudskippersgrl; 12-08-2008 at 10:45 AM.
It must be the army or something because I can't even remember the last time I was shy about changing or wandering around naked in front of ... well, anybody for that matter. In Iraq our shower room had nowhere to change, so anybody walking around in a towel to their room was no big deal, and in Afghanistan our shower was some wobbly wooden stall that barely came to boob height (on me) with an upside down 2 liter bottle with holes poked in the lid that rested in a metal thing. And because it was outdoors it had to be done during daylight since at night lizards and other creatures came to drink the water that pooled up. LoL.
Still no coverage, but we went in pairs so that the one showering had an armed guard. Thankfully the base never got bombed while I was bathing. Can you imagine running to a bunker half a mile away wearing nothing but a kevlar, towel and some flip flops?
LoL. No choice, so you just get used to it I suppose.
I certainly don't do air guitar off of the counters, but I have been known to wander around nekkid to weigh myself, brush my hair, or bounce and stare at myself in the mirror to see what all jiggles.
Last edited by NishKitten; 12-08-2008 at 12:17 PM.
I surprise myself at how comfortable I can be, naked, in the locker rooms and showers. But then again, I didn't start out this way. After going to my gym for over a year, I just started feeling more confident/comfortable to the point where I'll shower in one of the non-enclosed showers, if the rest are taken.
I just stopped caring and I thought that if anyone saw me, they'd just mistakenly think I was super confident although for me, it's just quicker that way! Covering up and hiding my body takes more energy/time than I can afford.
I also grew up in Japan, where public baths are common and I even grew up taking baths with the female members of my family until I was well past childhood.
I mean, we're all human and we're all women, why not be comfortable in the locker room? I also sweat a lot, and it sucks to have to put clothes on immediately after I shower because I'm hot and just want to cool down.
That's my two cents...
I believe that, in locker rooms, a certain amount of nudity is to be expected. The rooms are for changing.
That being said, I also believe that the laws of common courtesy/etiquette are really aimed toward accomodating people other than yourself reasonably so that the others are comfortable. So I think that *excessive* nakedness (I swear, once a woman took a phone call, a LONG one, on her cell in the locker room, 2 feet away from me, totally naked. I mean...towels are there for a reason! I've also seen the women blowdrying their hair naked at the sinks, and really, I don't think that's necessary either) should be limited as much as possible.
I try to run my life on the basis of "when you have the reasonable choice, accomodate strangers as best you can without sacrificing your own needs" type thinking. In this case, that means "It isn't taking anything away from me to put some clothes on, and it's making other people more comfortable, so why not?"
I think the folks who are "that" comfortable have no idea they're bothering anyone else (or they're deliberately enjoying embarassing others - but I think the larger number don't have a clue).
An example in my marriage which I find hilarious - while nudity has never been an issue between us, closing the bathroom door has been. Hubby couldn't understand my lack of concern over closing the bathroom door while using the restroom. It's not like I leave the door open when we have friends over, but if I'm alone in the house, or just with hubby, I wasn't closing the door and it freaked him out.
Most of my childhood, there were always six to eight people in the house (my parents, my brother and my grandparents lived with us and in high school my little sisters came along) and only one full bath and a cramped half bath under the stairs - anyone over 5'5" (which I was in 5th grade), had to watch when they stood up from the potty or they'd knock themself silly hitting their head on the ceiling. So sometimes the upstairs bathroom was more like Grand Central station.
It took my husband several years to "civilize me" (and I still leave the door open if I'm the only one home).
Ugh, my mom leaves the door open when she uses the little 1/2 bath off their family room. It's around a corner so she's not generally visible, but it drives me crazy to have to listen to her pee!
The point is to undress and redress. Walking naked from the shower to my locker, or standing naked in front of my locker applying deodorant or lotion, or whatever ... I shouldn't be looked at askance for doing that. 
That is my kind of old woman!!
