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Old 12-08-2008, 06:25 PM   #31  
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I think the folks who are "that" comfortable have no idea they're bothering anyone else
Honestly, yes. That's spot on.

I've held conversations with friends in the dressing room, while naked (or wearing only panties). I've walked from my locker to the sink and back naked. I've brushed my hair wearing only panties. I've put lotion on my body - naked (and yes that involves putting one leg at a time up on the bench and lotioning my legs - although I do try to not point my hoo-hah at people intentionally while I'm doing this - or bending over to lotion areas below my knees - although I try not to intentionally moon anyone).

It would never occur to me that by doing my own thing, not pushing my boobs or butt into anyone's face, but just brushing my hair or walking across the room to get a paper towel or putting lotion on, that I was bothering someone. I'm in a DRESSING ROOM.

It wasn't until I started reading threads like this on message boards that it even crossed my mind that my doing some normal activity while naked in a dressing room would actually bother someone.

And I'll be honest: I really really really do strongly believe in this as well: "when you have the reasonable choice, accommodate strangers as best you can without sacrificing your own needs" ... but I do also think there is an expectation that I shouldn't have to be ashamed or embarrassed of something perfectly normal in order to do so.

I would never intentionally embarrass or make someone else uncomfortable. But there also comes a point where they have to accept that their modesty is somewhat excessive.

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Old 12-08-2008, 06:48 PM   #32  
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"Somewhat excessive" modesty would be, in my book, thinking people were rude for performing the functions of the locker room (including dressing, showering, lotioning, etc...things that need to involve, by their very being, some nudity) naked. I don't think it's excessively modest to think that in a public place, if one doesn't need to be nude, they should be dressed...while some have different opinions, this goes into "personal preference", not necessarily a "valid" vs. "excessive" perspective...it's a matter of preference. And while I don't believe that anyone is OBLIGATED to adhere to the preferences of others when it comes to nudity, I wonder why someone, once aware that some people are bothered by it, wouldn't just try to make everyone involved more comfortable and throw on some clothes when performing tasks in a locker room that don't call for nudity. I mean, does it harm someone in any way to be dressed vs. nude? Is it harder to blowdry your hair with clothes on, or to grab a towel before sitting down?

Obviously those so comfortable that they don't realize it's an issue get a pass. But to me, it's less important that we define whose modesty is reasonable and whose is not, and more important to all get along and try to make everyone as comfortable as possible once we know that the potential for discomfort exists. Which is why I always performed my nude-necessary tasks with no shame, but got dressed as soon as being nude was no longer necessary.
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Old 12-08-2008, 07:01 PM   #33  
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I don't think it's excessively modest to think that in a public place,
I suspect that what's partially at issue here is our differing definitions of "public place". IMO, a dressing room is not necessarily a "public place" in the same sense, that say the main floor of the gym is.

Yes, it is open to the public, but it is gender restricted and is there for the specific purpose of dressing, undressing, showering, and all those related things that involve various levels of nudity.

Is it harder to blowdry my hair with clothes on? Noooo ... but I prefer to blowdry my hair in my undies because otherwise I work up a sweat with the blowdryer. I know it's a small thing, and it's not that big of a deal either way ... but we get into that realm of "fair" that kaplods was talking about in another thread. Is it fair that I be inconvenienced because of someone else's embarrassment? Is it fair that they be subjected to embarrassment because I don't want to be inconvenienced. Either way it's not "fair" to one of us.

And please note I say that with a smile. I honestly don't know the answer one way or the other.

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Old 12-08-2008, 07:18 PM   #34  
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I never thought we were talking about being in undies in this thread ...
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Old 12-08-2008, 07:22 PM   #35  
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I never thought we were talking about being in undies in this thread ...
Sorry .. that may be my being unclear. When I'm talking about blow drying my hair in my undies, I mean in panties, but not necessarily with a bra on. I was assuming that walking around in panties, letting my boobs hang out, was a level of nudity that would bother someone, but that is a bad assumption on my part.

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Old 12-08-2008, 07:23 PM   #36  
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Yeah, I think undies are another thing entirely. I like to blowdry in my undies for exactly that reason. I think it was the out-and-out nudity part bothering people.

"Public" is more a continuum. Any space that belongs equally to me and other people that aren't my family (and by "belongs" I mean "is intended for the use of") is closer to the "Public" side, and anything intended for my exclusive use (or my family's exclusive use) is "Private". A hotel room bathroom is a "Private" place, the hotel's lobby bathroom is a "Public" place. So while a locker room is more private than the lobby of the gym, it's still "Public" in that it is not intended for my sole use, but instead to be shared with others that aren't me/my family.
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Old 12-08-2008, 07:28 PM   #37  
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Yeah, I think undies are another thing entirely.
Might depend on the undies
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Old 12-08-2008, 07:29 PM   #38  
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I have a little cousin that refers to all parts below the waist as "Butt"...front, back, whatever. I think in this thread when discussing modesty, I'd say I'm talking about covering "butt" of all varieties, not anything above. Even a towel around the waist would acheive the objective. I consider the chest to be a "less private" area than the...ehem...butt.
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Old 12-08-2008, 07:34 PM   #39  
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Hehheh. My niece used to talk about her "front butt" and her "behind butt".

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Old 12-08-2008, 07:46 PM   #40  
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As the daughter of a diplomat, I mainly grew up overseas...and largely in countries where nudity is not as big a deal as it is here in the US. In fact, I graduated from high school in Austria and swam on my high school's team. We practiced at a local pool...where there WAS no distiction between the men's and women's changing rooms. It was one big room where EVERYBODY changed -- fat people, thin people, guys in my class, me, babies, old guys...get the picture. In the beginning, as an American teenager, it freaked me out, but after two years I didn't even notice anymore. It really didn't matter. 'Cause no one cared. Naked is naked...just a bunch of body parts.

So the idea that I might seem "immodest" to some people by walking around naked in an "all female" changing room makes my giggle. While I wouldn't stick my rear in someones face or wiggle my breasts six inches from their arm...it IS a place to get naked -- that is kind of the point. So I guess I am one of those naked people who has been walking around clueless to the fact that I have been offending some of you. I just don't spend much time in the changing room LOOKING at the other people. I am doing my own thing. Because of this, I never really paid attention to the people changing in the bathroom stalls except to feel sorry for them in passing sometimes...that they had such bad body image that they were afraid to be naked -- even with other women. This thread, however, has made me think about it a little more.
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Old 12-08-2008, 08:14 PM   #41  
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I don't think its offensive for people to be naked in a locker room nor do I consider it immodest but one should consider proximity to others. These women were 2 feet away and like I said I have spent 19 years in locker rooms this was something completely different and seemed intentional because rather than back away when one woman found me at the locker right next to hers as there was plenty of space to her other side and I already being flanked by another admiring herself in the mirror on the other side, she kept reaching and standing right next to me. I felt I was due a little common courtesy in the form of some space. Ultimately, If people are unconscious of encroaching on others personal space I guess its understandable.

Schumeany: that is an interesting background, nudity really is regarded quite differently across cultures.

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Old 12-08-2008, 09:09 PM   #42  
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I don't even like to change in front of my boyfriend most of the time, and we live together and have a son together. even my son makes me feel uncomfortable - he's 2, and he likes to smack fat bellies - although i make in effort not to be self conscious around him because I don't want him to suffer shame like I do. I think the only place I feel truly comfortable to just be naked is in the doctor's office. they've seen everything anyway, and I couldn't be much worse.
Anyway, in a place like a locker room, I think bra and panties would be sufficient coverage for all the nudity related tasks we must undergo. if your "privates" need more attention than the few minutes between stepping out of the shower, drying off, and putting on underwear, you should take care of that sort of business (whatever it may be) at home. Although in a perfect world, no one would be ashamed of their bodies, there are still those of us out there who would rather die than get caught naked in a group without a towel, and seeing others naked reminds us that nudity is not that far away from us, either. Just some thoughts... I wish I could just walk around oblivious. I guess too many years of high school fat girl locker room scenes spoiled me for the real thing.
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Old 12-08-2008, 09:16 PM   #43  
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I don't even like to change in front of my boyfriend most of the time, and we live together and have a son together. even my son makes me feel uncomfortable - he's 2, and he likes to smack fat bellies
LOL, 2 year olds are like that . When my niece was 2, she would not let me out of her sight, so into the bathroom she came with me. I'm sitting there, she leans around to my side, and announces brightly "You have a bum!"
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Old 12-08-2008, 10:00 PM   #44  
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I'm sitting there, she leans around to my side, and announces brightly "You have a bum!"
thats brilliant!
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Old 12-09-2008, 12:36 PM   #45  
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*giggle*

I saw this on my RSS feed today and just had to add it to the thread. It's so on topic.

One of the Viking players wound up with his .. um .. equipment broadcast on national television during a locker room interview.

This is a safe-for-work link:
http://www.startribune.com/lifestyle...D3aPc:_Yyc:aUU

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Last edited by PhotoChick; 12-09-2008 at 12:36 PM.
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