08 Regainers regaining control and relosing!
 

I noticed the old thread was at 500 posts, so I started a new one!

This thread is basically just what the title says... We lost, we regained, and now we're regaining control and losing what we regained... then hopefully onward to goal! Things happen, and weight loss can go on the back burner while you're focused on other events in your life. If that's what is going on with you, feel free to join us. WE GET IT. :)

Mandy - Thanks for starting the new thread!

Quick check-in, then going to be super focused on work so I can make time for a gym run this afternoon.

I did run a mile yesterday. 1.12 miles actually, at 5.0 mph. It wasn't all that difficult, though it also wasn't easy. So, I am going to move to Week 5, Day 2 of my C25K app, which is jog 3/4 mile, walk 1/2 mile, jog 3/4 mile. Week 6, Day 1 is 2 miles. I don't know if I'm there yet, but I am really glad to be moving in the right direction again.

I also finally got on the scale after two weeks of scale avoidance. My highest weight ever was in May 2012, and I weighed in at 278. I have had periods of significant weight loss, including getting down to 201 in December 2012, gaining back up to about 240 by May 2014, then down to 190 by February of 2015, then back up to 263 by April 2016. Today, though, I am officially 100 pounds down from my highest weight, and lower than I have been since 2009. WOOT!

I also feel like I'm gaining my rhythm back. Instead of just eating leftovers of questionable nutritional foods for dinner, as has been my habit lately on weekends, I made myself two eggs with some feta cheese and ranch seasoning. It was so delicious! Then, when I got hungry right before bed, I had a reasonable portion of Halo Top Ice Cream. It's not that hard to make calorie-conscious, nutritious food choices. I don't know why I think it's hard. (Except it is that hard for long periods of time. Just trying to embrace the not-hard-at-this-exact-second moment. Cuz there are brownies and cake a few feet away from me that I do not need to be consuming, and I hope to make good decisions about feeding my body during the day today so I don't start madly craving the junk food late this afternoon.)

Hope everyone had a great weekend and is looking forward to a fantastic December.

Mandy: Thanks for stepping up and making a new thread!

Laurie: Yay you!! 100 pounds down is awesome! I can't wait to make that milestone, too. I'm glad that you are back on track and ready to move forward!

For me, I am doing so much better. I still have a little pain in my back but it is almost back 100%. I finally just started stretching it and trying to manipulate the areas that were painful. I had done more reading about pinched nerves and it seemed like you're not getting rid of the pain until you relieve the pressure. So, I figured what they would do at physical therapy would be some stretching and other stuff to relieve that pressure. I figured I would try to do it on my own first and then, if it didn't work, I'd make an appointment. It almost instantly starting feeling better, so I am pretty sure I'm on the mend. I went back to the gym this morning for spin class, and it went well. I'll probably put off running for another week just to make sure I don't set myself back again.

It really is amazing to me how the ability to work out can affect my whole life so much. I already feel happier today and I'm looking forward to the other workouts. I am doing ok with food, not great. And I didn't get on the scale. I am going to put that off for at least a week. I don't think I should put it off too long, but I just didn't want to see it yet.

I'm waffling between guilt about eating something after baby bed time, and happy that it fit into my calories and I didn't wake up wanting to eat my arm.

We got the tree up and decorated (finally, that's usually a black Friday thing) and today starts my step bet!

Nothing too exciting going on at the moment, otherwise. Just trying to plan my food today around a pasta dinner that hubby wants.

Diane - I am so relieved to hear your pain is going away. I hope that you continue to heal, and that the pinch becomes but a memory. Good on you for figuring out how to self-treat, and great that it is working. I agree with you -- my life with work-outs is almost always better than my life without them.

Mandy - Woot on the start of the step bet! I know it's been a huge help for you in the past. And I, too, have the whole issue about not wanting to avoid eating late at night, but hate waking up like I want to eat my arm. Sounds like it was a good choice for you, though, as you stayed in your calories.

I advanced on my C25K program last night. I ran 3/4 of a mile, walked about 1/10 of a mile, and then ran another 3/4 miles. Then, I kept going for a while. I mostly ran at 5.1 mph, but I did do some short stretches above 6.0, including 30 seconds at 7.0. I feel like I'm finally breaking through. I did stay late at work, and finally caved to the ever-present brownies/cake at about 9:30. Disappointed, but not overly so.

Hope everyone has a great day today!

Mandy: Glad you are getting back to your step bet! That really is a good thing and seems to work really well for you!

Laurie: Way to go on the running! I'm going to be taking a few steps back with that, I think, once I go back to it. That's ok! Glad that is going well for you. I think that it is fun once it starts getting better.

For me, I went to Body Pump this morning. It wasn't as good as I wanted it to be as I had a little pain. But, I think it is coming along. We'll see how I feel tonight! Ha! Some of the soreness will just be from not having been for quite a while. I just don't want to be stupid and cause myself more issues with my neck/back. So pathetic!! I hate injuries and soreness that hold you back. It is hard enough to make progress without something in the way that makes it even more difficult. Ugh. I'll go to spin tomorrow if all is well.

I'm more on track with food, too. It seems like workouts are key to keeping focused. :)

Down 2.4 pounds since the 1st of the month!

This month is going to be challenging for me, since I'm still aiming to hit the original year end goal I set for myself, even though that means nearly 15 pounds this month. I figured the initial whoosh of water weight would be enough to get me close without losing too fast to be healthy. Though, as heavy as I am, I doubt 3 pounds a week would be a disaster... I know the healthy range is 1-2 pounds per week, and I'll be happy to settle in to that rate once the new year hits, but I really *really* want to be far enough away from 300 to have it happily in the rear view mirror by the time 2017 starts. Assuming I make 280 (my year end goal), I will have another goal of 240 by the end of May. I'm really good at losing in the winter and spring! Every time I've lost 50 pounds or more it's been winter and spring. I know it's because I moved a lot in the summer and stress ate my way through the fall/early winter holidays. But my brain is really good at equating the first half of the year with weight loss and exercise, so I'm gonna use that to my advantage.

I'm hoping the step bet will keep me going through the tough food times ahead. Everything is FOOD in December, and I'm trying very hard not to get sucked into that. Which will be extra tough because I really do enjoy baking goodies for the holidays. Maybe if I just skip the scratch made cookies and candies and use frozen/refrigerated cookie dough, I'll be less drawn to them... and instead of making 6 different kinds of cookies from scratch, just make one or two. We'll see. It just doesn't feel like Christmas to me unless I have storage containers full of cookies to set out.

I hope you ladies are having a good week so far. :)

Mandy: Good for you on the weight loss! I think you can make your goal by January. It won't be easy, but I think you can do it!! I'm like you, there are just cookies I like to make for this time of year. I've cut out some of what I've made in the past, but there are some that I have to have around. It wouldn't be right if they weren't there!!

For me, I went to spin this morning. I was hoping to work out some of the soreness from lifting on Tuesday. It helped some, but I am feeling it. My back was a little sore, but not too bad. It seems to be getting better and better. I'm planning to go tomorrow, but then not go on Friday. I just don't want to go back to yoga just yet.

Christmas baking is the best!

Okay. My jeans still don't fit right. None of them. Not even the ones I wore when I was 40 pounds heavier. It's like my hips are twice as wide as they were or something. Thanks, kid, for that gift. I guess my body doesn't escape carrying and delivering a nearly 10 pound baby unscathed. I can get them on, and up, and fastened, but they just fit really weird around my hips. I'm sure part of it is living in dresses and leggings for over a year, but still. Uncomfortable. And I need to be able to wear my jeans. It's getting too cold to wear dresses and leggings, heh.

Diane - So glad to hear that you are moving upward and onward from your injury. Glad to hear the Body Pump didn't seem to have made it worse, and glad you're getting back into rhythm on the exercise. I am concluding that, at least for me, success with running requires patience. If I push myself too hard, I just dread doing it, and I don't want to dread something I try to do several times a week. So, in my world, taking a few steps backward is just part of the process, and my willingness to take a few steps backward is the only thing that keeps me moving forward. If that makes sense. Hope your injury is soon just a memory.

Mandy - Woot on the loss! I agree -- three pounds a week is well within the realm of healthy loss. I don't think the rate is ever so much of a concern, in fact, as the method. If you are making nutrition choices that keep your body functioning well, and supplementing it with exercise to increase the rate of loss by a bit, then that sounds like fantastic success to me! (Of course, as you have witnessed, I tend to lose fast and gain fast, and have actually never had success as losing slowly, though I've tried it many times. So my thoughts may not be all that helpful.) Making progress during the holidays should really set you up for the traditional winter/spring loss. I can't wait to celebrate with you as you continue your success. Oof on the jeans. Maybe consider thrifting? I feel like I'm living in the thrift stores lately, but probably only feel that way because I don't love clothes shopping. I, too, was complaining today that my favorite jeans no longer fit, so it looks like another trip to the thrift store for me. Not thrilled by the prospect, and sad to say goodbye to these jeans, but excited, I suppose, to be in a smaller size again.

I am spending a lot of time making sure I eat well and exercise properly. I think my job is suffering from it some, and I know my husband complains about the amount of time I spend in the gym and taking evening walks. At this point, I am thinking I want to hit about 130 and evaluate whether I want to continue losing or gain a bit back. So, I have roughly fifty pounds to lose before I start to figure out maintenance stuff, and that will take at least six months to accomplish. I need to evaluate what I want in my professional life and maybe come up with some strategies to decrease the amount of time I am spending on weight control. I also need to find a way to compromise with my husband. I need my evening walks. Even in this wretched cold, I feel compelled to walk, as it tends to help my digestion process and just help me feel better. This needs to be a forever thing. My weight has not caused serious health problems in the past, but it has threatened to do so. If I am not healthy, I need to adjust the amount of work I do anyway, and I won't be able to spend as much time on husband/family, so I need to continue to be proactive about my health.

No solutions for now. Just starting to think about long-term. And, of course, as I consider adjusting what is currently working in terms of weight loss, I am freaked out at the thought of losing focus on weight control and gaining it all back yet again.

Hope everyone has a great day.

Good morning!

Posting late yesterday and early today means back-to-back posts for me. Since yesterday's post was LONG, I will make this one fairly short.

Super cold here, but still going to go outside for a couple of walks during the day. Probably short walks. Lifting tonight. Trying to make good food choices. Nothing new or particularly exciting, but it's nice to be in a routine.

I've been over 11k steps for 3 days in a row! According to Fitbit and MFP that means I've been earning 500+ calories extra via exercise. Wooo!

AND I'm feeling pretty good because it looks like that eye cream I decided to start making is a winner. (here's a before and after - both with light make up) So that feels like success! :D

http://i67.tinypic.com/2ed14di.jpg

Anyway. Food is going mostly okay - with occasional "crap, why did I just eat that?!" moments which I usually catch before I do too much damage. You know, one piece of candy or salty carby snack instead of a pile of it. Log it and move on.

I'm also going to be adding over night oats to my routine, as a healthy, filling breakfast. I found several recipes that look yummy and I'm looking forward to starting that habit! Especially when I do have anything for breakfast it's usually just a cup of coffee, or a pop tart if I can scarf it down before the little decides he wants it, heh.

I hope you all are having a good day!

Mandy: Oh yeah, I forgot about that part of having a baby. Things definitely shift. Even if you lose weight, it is just distributed very differently. Looks like your eye cream is doing well, too! Nice!

Laurie: Those sound like good goals and plans for the upcoming year. I think you've got this figured out! Will just help keep you on track as you go along!! That's what we do for each other!

Not much new with me. Just kind of coasting. All good!

Mandy - Woo hoo on crushing the walking goals. It can be so hard in the cold, so it's particularly impressive that you're finding ways of hitting it. And I love me some oatmeal. Let us know how the overnight oats go. I have heard good things, but have never actually tried them.

Diane - I love that you're reporting coasting rather than neck and back pain or frustration with nutrition. Woot! Hope the running is either going well or will soon go well too.

I gave blood this morning, which is notable because I am so seldom able to get my iron high enough to do it. So, something's working. I haven't felt dizzy or nauseated either, so I'm feeling good about that. I lifted last night. Going to run this afternoon. I was frustrated with my husband last night. Really, really wanted to go downstairs and eat everything, which would have caused heartburn issues and general discomfort, not to mention calorie issues. Instead, I played a stupid FB game that required the use of my hands until I was finally able to go to sleep. It seems like a small thing, but it's pretty big in my world. Maybe I will avoid going backwards this holiday season.

Re: Walking in the cold... I have an old Wii game (and by old, I mean copyright 2009) that is a 'walking' game where you earn coins for taking steps then use those coins to build the city, buy new music, etc. It's really cheesy, but it's effective. It's walking in place, but it gets the job done when I'd rather not be out in single digit wind chills. I spend an hour every afternoon 'playing' the game (read: walking in place to the beat of fast pace music) and get about 8000-9000 steps depending on the song selection, and how much over or under an hour I stay.

I still have a goal of being a runner. I want to be able to enter a 5k, run the whole thing, and actually finish it. It's a long way out, but I think I can do it.

Re: running. When do you get to claim "I'm a runner!" Is it when you first start training and can barely run for a minute at a time? Or is it once you finish your first official race? Somewhere in between? When you're still training, but running more than walking? When you buy your first pair of real running shoes?

I have no idea. But I did week 1, day 1 of a 9 week c25k program thingy I found for my phone (it basically just beeps when you're supposed to switch)... and I managed to do more than I've done before. By that, I mean I was able to do almost the whole thing. 5 minute warm up. Then 60 seconds jogging followed by 90 seconds walking, repeat for 20 minutes (8 times). I did 7 of the 8 running intervals! Okay, so it was kinda like a snail through molasses in January type shuffle jog than an actual run, but it was not walking!

Running a 5k has been on my bucket list forever, and I have set a goal for myself to check that thing once and for all sometime in 2017!

Mandy - You have become friends with my helpful, sometimes annoyingly naggy, C25K friend! You finished Week 1, Day 1? Then you, my friend, are a RUNNER. And maybe, when you have done C25K as long as I have, your pace will pick up from a snail through molasses in January to a snail through molasses in March, like me. =) I am doing Week 6, Day 1 tonight. (And it has taken me about five months to get here.) I have done Leslie Sansone videos before, and she's okay. She gets kind of annoying after you've done the video a couple of times, but I appreciate that you have found a way to get the walking done. I might look into the walking in place thing. We have underground tunnels at work, so I can do that here, but I don't love the concrete floors, and if work is so busy that I don't get most of my steps in before I head home, I am stuck walking outside or conceding that I don't get enough steps. Thank you for the reminder that I have a third option.

Diane - Hope that you're still on the mend and moving through your reacclimation process at the gym.

I went to the thrift store and cleaned out my closet again. It was so hard to talk myself into even trying on size 12 pants and jeans. My mind looked at those, knew that I wouldn't be able to get them past my knee, and knew that I would feel stupid for even making the effort. I was in a hurry, so I didn't try stuff on. I just knew that my size 14 pants were getting too loose to comfortably wear. So I bought size 12 and size 10 black pants, hoping that I would fit into them soon. And not only do the 12s fit, but are slightly loose. The 10s go on and button without much effort, but are a bit tight. I honestly don't feel that much different. I know it's easier to go up stairs and to run, but I still have to talk myself into putting on my clothes--even when I have worn them recently--because I am having such a hard time adjusting to the fact that they fit. I have had a size 12 suit that I bought three years ago as a "goal suit," and never made it there. That fit too, with the top being almost too loose. (I am definitely bottom-heavy.) So - good news. But I am having a hard time adjusting to it.

And my husband freaked out on me a bit last night. He and I were joking about something that happened when he was a child, and I called him the "juvenile" version of his name. (Think Joseph v. Joey.) He accused me of having an affair with someone named "Joey" (in our example, not his real name), and suggested I had just slipped up and accidentally called him by my illicit paramour's name. As further evidence of my infidelity, he said he found black lipstick on the floor of the garage -- probably my daughter's or one of her friends', who are just starting to wear make-up and are experimenting with lots of weird colors. Finally, he was concerned that I always shower when I get home on the weekends. From the gym. At first, I genuinely thought he was joking. Who cites this as evidence of cheating? But he continues to be afraid that I am losing weight so I can find me another man. He doesn't know that losing weight brings up tons of body insecurity, I guess, and I am not going to be one of those women who say to their husbands, "I have difficulty finding shirts that fit because my upper arms have so much loose skin on them." Not that there's anything wrong with saying that. I just don't need to give any more time and space to my cosmetic fears than I already do. I told him that I run because I want to complete a half-marathon next year, not because I want another man in my pants. Then, I asked him if we really need to fight about it because I had been really looking forward to hanging out with him and enjoying his company, and this issue felt like one that could be more successfully resolved between his therapist and him. I even offered to let him sniff me pre-shower to confirm that I was attempting to eliminate sweat stench instead of "sex with other men" stench. =)

Okay. Rambling yet again. I am really, really hoping that he gets used to my smaller size (and that I maintain my smaller size) and finally realizes that I am taking care of my health because I want to be healthy and taken more seriously as a professional (though I am angered by the fact that this legitimately makes a difference in any occupation that has no physical fitness requirement).

Back to work. I am committing to going to the gym at 1:30. I want to keep moving on my C25K and finally make it to the end so that I can start training for my 10K, then for my half-marathon. I finally looked up the date. It is on June 3, 2017. So my second goal is to sit down and map out a training schedule this evening to see if it's even realistic. On Saturday, I ran for 1.3 miles. That's the farthest I've run since I restarted C25K in August. But I have not always been diligent. Setting out a reasonable training schedule should help with that.

Have a great day, everyone.

Mandy: I also used C25K! It helped me get to where I could run a 5K. It also was something I wanted to do! Now that I did it, I have no desire to ever run another one, because I really didn't enjoy it very much. I don't mind running, I just didn't want to be around all of the other people! Ha! Good for you though!! I run really slow, but just keep going. That was the only thing with C25K that didn't work with me. At the end, when you should be running a 5K, I was slower, so I wasn't quite to a full 5K. But, it definitely got me closer! Then, I just worked on it by myself after that.

Laurie: Wow! A size 12 is awesome!!! That's a great accomplishment. I'm sorry your husband is feeling a little insecure about it all. And now scheduling a 1/2 Marathon! Nice! Keep it going.

For me, I have had a little set back. My back is hurting again. I might have to go to the doctor after all. I'm not sure what set it off. I haven't done anything that should have made it worse, but it is pretty achy today. Oh well, I'll see what the doctor says.

Good morning!

Diane - I am so sorry to hear about your back. I had hoped that you were clear of that misery. Glad you're headed to the doctor. Hopefully, you get some answers, and hopefully those answers mean that you're completely healed very soon.

I went running yesterday. I ended up with an emergent issue at work that needed to be addressed, so I didn't make it at 1:30. I had someone coming over at 6, and didn't leave work until 5, so I was really tight on time. Still, I couldn't let Day 1 of my half-marathon commitment die, so I went to the gym and did Week 6, Day 1 of C25K. I cut the warm-up from 5 minutes to 1 minute, took 1 minute off of each of the walking intervals, and reduced my cool-down to 1 minute. Not ideal, of course, but I did get the runs in. It wasn't a good run. For some reason, my asthsma was acting up, so I had to stop periodically for breathing breaks. (I stop running, put my head down to my knees, and gulp for breath until my lungs actually get something. Usually only takes a second or two.) But I did it! I didn't put the "official schedule" together for my half-marathon, but I'm doing it now.

Today's a lifting day. I usually go in the evening, but it's looking like a day where I might need to sneak out to go the gym in the afternoon.

Have a great day, everyone!

Laurie: Hey, I'm impressed that you did your running anyway, even with limited time! That's dedication! Sometimes it is tough getting it all in, and you found a way to at least get part of it in!!

For me, no gym. It really hurts in the morning, so I'm actually looking forward to going to the doctor this afternoon. I can't live like this. I had some great ideas for working out, some changes I might be making, and I just can't do it right now. It is starting to affect sleeping, too, and that's definitely not acceptable. Hope they can get it worked out quickly.

Diane - I am so glad to hear that you're going to the doctor. Maybe she can even suggest some modified exercises that you can do to maintain fitness and enjoy some activity without aggravating your injury. It feels like you've been struggling with this for way too long. I hope you find some quick relief.

I didn't make it to the gym last night. I haven't yet created an "official" training schedule for the half-marathon. And though I usually don't eat until 11:30 or so in the morning, I have already eaten a Fiber One bar, a chicken drumstick, and a piece of chocolate muffin. Sounds like now is the time to refocus, yes? I haven't really gone off track. Yet. But it's approaching. Yet another reminder that this is a lifelong slog. I spoke to a woman who weighs 145 and is forever fighting to get "that last 15" off. Her struggles have resulted in a long-term maintenance of 145 pounds. I find myself hoping to be in that position soon. Maybe never "happy" with my weight, but thrilled to be fighting to lose from 145 rather than fighting to lose at 278.

Gonna do the half-marathon training schedule and enter it into my calendar. Gonna go running in the afternoon. And going to be super focused at work so that I can still get off relatively early (5ish) and finally get the tree up and do Christmas stockings.

Hope everyone has a great day!

Good afternoon!

I was feeling a little down thinking I started working hard on this weight loss thing (again) back around the middle of August and hadn't gotten very far. But looking back, When I weighed in on August 22, I was 307.2 pounds (and I know in July I was about 315, but I didn't record it anywhere). Today I am 288 pounds. That's almost 20 pounds in a little less than 3 months.That is not awful. That is not "super slow." That is not failure. To everyone but my own stupid brain, that's pretty darn good. Especially since it's only been the last two weeks that I've focused on both exercise and food, and only for the first month or so of that stretch I was focused on exercise. The rest was weeks of tooth pain, surgery, and recovery. I was feeling like I had horribly regressed somehow, but I haven't. I have continued going forward, over and around all the obstacles that have gotten in my way.

That little look back made me feel much better about my progress, and made me feel like I'm getting it done for real. I just have to tell that little voice in my brain that says, "you're still fat, why bother? Let's eat cake!"

Good afternoon!

I was feeling a little down thinking I started working hard on this weight loss thing (again) back around the middle of August and hadn't gotten very far. But looking back, When I weighed in on August 22, I was 307.2 pounds (and I know in July I was about 315, but I didn't record it anywhere). Today I am 288 pounds. That's almost 20 pounds in a little less than 3 months.That is not awful. That is not "super slow." That is not failure. To everyone but my own stupid brain, that's pretty darn good. Especially since it's only been the last two weeks that I've focused on both exercise and food, and only for the first month or so of that stretch I was focused on exercise. The rest was weeks of tooth pain, surgery, and recovery. I was feeling like I had horribly regressed somehow, but I haven't. I have continued going forward, over and around all the obstacles that have gotten in my way.

That little look back made me feel much better about my progress, and made me feel like I'm getting it done for real. I just have to tell that little voice in my brain that says, "you're still fat, why bother? Let's eat cake!" Instead, I'm eating my overnight oats, making sure to get my steps in, tracking all my food, and drinking water like a good girl. Ha! Shut up, fat voice. :)

Y'all have a good day!

Mandy - That little hooker voice lives in my head too. She tells me, "You will never be thin, so it doesn't really matter how fat you are." She tells me, "You can't live your entire life without cake." "You have failed so many times in the past. Why make yourself miserable fighting the inevitable?" Yay to you for presenting your little voice with the facts. A 20-pound loss in the midst of health issues, the holidays, the daily grind of caring for a toddler and taking care of your pastor's wife responsibilities, etc. And making choices that don't seem to make you miserable while you're doing all of it. That is what success looks like. Glad you're telling the hooker to shut up -- or at least to get her facts straight.

Diane - Hoping your doctor's appointment was fruitful yesterday and that you're mending.

I have been pretty lax about my running for a very long time now. Though I started C25K, I have allowed myself to stall on certain weeks and to regress to previous weeks after taking time off. I reasoned, correctly still I believe, that something was better than nothing. But my progress has been slow. At least in this first week, I am quite pleased that I have determined to commit to a half-marathon. I actually wrote out my training program, and it is pretty intimidating. But it's also nice to visualize actually making substantial progress. I did Week 6, Day 2 last night. I planned on going in the afternoon, but could not escape from work even for the hour it would have taken. Then, I planned on leaving early, but did not manage that either. Then, I was going to stop on the way home from work anyway, but my husband texted me and asked me to do something for him. Our office is having a pot luck today, and I needed to make my dish for it. Finally, at 8:15, I was leaving for the gym, and my husband asked me to do another errand while I was "out anyway." No problem, hubs. I went to the gym anyway. If I hadn't made the commitment to do the half-marathon, I wouldn't have been at the gym yesterday. And after I started running, I just wanted to quit. "I'll just do this one next time and do a yoga video or the elliptical or blah blah blah" my hooker voice told me. But I didn't quit. I ran for 10 minutes, walked for 3, ran for 10, walked for two, then did a bonus 30 seconds at sprint speed. I really do want to do a half-marathon and cross it from my bucket list. If not now, when? I'm doing this.

Have a great day, everyone!

Mandy: You are doing great!! With all of the stuff you've had to go through and with all the other responsibilities, I think you are amazing! I never worried much about weight loss and taking care of myself when I had little ones, and now I am paying the price! It is never too late to get going on fitness, but it certainly would have been easier 15-20 years ago!!! You are in tune with what you need to do, and that is more than half of the battle.

Laurie: Good for you for not letting life get in the way of your running. I'm proud of you!! And thanks for asking about my little health issues!!

For me, I did go to the doctor and she wanted to get an x-ray to look at my spine, so that she could see what treatment plan to follow. Turned out that there appears to be some curvature, and so she had me set up some physical therapy to correct it. I was able to get a cancelled appointment this morning. It turns out that the curvature is slight, and she shows that the spacing between my vertebrae is very good, so no sign of degeneration or arthritis. It is more of a muscle problem that needs to be corrected. Sitting at a computer all day doesn't help it either. Fortunately, we just got some standing desks here at work, so that might really help. So, I'll be going to PT once a week for 4 weeks. Even with what she did today, I feel much better. I won't be going to spin class for a while since that seems to be hard on my back. I can go back to lifting, but I need to watch it and not do what makes it hurt (pushups in particular). I think for next week, I'll skip it again. I might just wait until January to get back to it. I do want to go to the gym, but I'll just walk on the treadmill, if nothing else.

The only other thing that is concerning is that she noticed that my heart appears to be enlarged. I am having no symptoms for that, but they saw it on the x-ray. So, I'm going in for some test in the morning that will tell them more. At first, I was really worried, but the more I think about it, I think I'll be fine. I spent so much time being so overweight that maybe that affected my heart. Maybe I am more anemic than I thought. But I do know that my blood pressure, cholesterol, etc is all fine. We'll see what happens.

However, with the heart thing, I realized that I'm not doing the right thing by not getting more weight off. The fitness part is going well, but I need to really refocus on calorie counting so that I can lose more weight. So, once I find out more, I'm going to come up with a better plan. I will rededicate in the same way I did when I lost so much weight my first year. I didn't allow for excuses or not being fully committed. 2017 is going to be that same type of year. I need to stop fooling around with this, and get it fixed!!

Diane - I am so glad you went to the doctor and have established a plan to get your back better (hopefully once and for all). Glad you found out about the enlarged heart issue as well. Usually, it's much easier to treat problems that are identified early before any symptoms. I also think it's super wise of you to choose to go to the gym. Even if you aren't doing what you'd prefer to be doing, maintaining that habit makes a huge difference. And walking is a great calorie burner. Also thrilled you are recommitting. It feels like we have to periodically reevaluate and recommit to this, and will have to for the rest of our lives. But 2017 is going to be a fantastic year! We are going to rock this!

I skipped lifting yesterday, and I'm okay with it. With a 6-7-day-a-week work-out schedule, there will be some days that are missed. I am also going to do something I haven't done for a while -- schedule a rest day. Tomorrow. I won't even focus on getting my 10K steps. I need to focus on a work project. I may take small exercise breaks to be more productive, but that's it. And guys! My C25K for today was a 22-minute run. I thought I would die. But I did it. 22 minutes at 5.1 mph. And for the last 30 seconds, I even managed to pump it up to 6.1 mph. But I decided to work from home today, and didn't have access to the tunnels, and didn't want to walk outside or walk in place. (Thank you for that suggestion, though, Mandy. Much as I dislike walking in place, it has made it possible to get in my steps.) So, I decided that I would try to get in most of my steps at work. My 22 minute run was only about 1.8 miles, and I have to walk about 4.5 miles to get in my 10K steps, so I was only at about 5500 steps when I was done with my run. Just walking on the treadmill that long is boring, so I decided to go to Week 1, Day 1 on the C25K app and run at a 6.1 mph pace for the running intervals until I was closer to my 10K steps. I did four intervals of that before my knee started really bothering me and I felt a twinge in my back. So I quit. But I feel really, really good about finally really investing in my running. I may be able to run that half-marathon come June after all.

Edited to Add - Monday's run is 25 minutes. I almost died at 22 minutes. I am intimidated, but I am committing to finding some great music to add to my playlist and figuring out some distraction strategies to help improve the chances of my success.

Hey guys. :)

So, a couple days ago I weighed in at 288 and was feeling a little down about my progress because I'm very much an instant gratification person, and this is such a slow process. Then last night I made stir fry and my MIL replaced my lower sodium soy sauce with the full sodium stuff. And then this morning I woke up to TOM. I *really* did not want to peek at the scale, but I'm a glutton for punishment apparently and did it anyway expecting a 2 pound bump... instead I saw 285.8. 2+ pounds in 2 days. With sodium and TOM. I must be doing *something* right..? Though, I worry about eating too little and killing off my metabolism so I can't eat as much when I go to maintenance (way WAY in the future).

I am currently eating ~1600 calories per day +/- 50 or so either way which is right in line with what MFP suggests I eat. I am, according to my Fitbit, getting in 500-700 calories on top of that in exercise (I find that hard to believe), that I don't eat. So, while I am intent on getting to 280 by the end of the year, because that was the goal I set wayyyy back in July when I was at 315, I think because I am losing so quickly on this amount, when the new year rolls around, I will probably start adding 100-200 calories per day to my meal for a week, then adjust up or down, to see how much I can eat and continue to lose at a decent (1.5-2lbs per week), but not crazy fast, pace. I want to find out how much I can eat and still lose.

Right now my 2lb/week goal on MFP is 1600 (1.5/week is 1850). And I've already lost 4 pounds since Monday, during PMS. I really don't want to mess up my metabolism, so I am going to eat a little more until I find my happy place... Starting Jan 1. I wish I trusted the exercise calories that occasionally give me totals of 2200 or 2300 calories for the day! I'm both excited to experiment, and scared of accidentally sabotaging myself. It's going to be a tricky balancing act. 100-200 calories per day for a week is not going to suddenly make me 300 pounds again. At worst it will slow down my weight loss a little bit. I need to remind myself of that. And also that weight loss shouldn't make me miserable and bored. I *really* need to teach myself moderation (you know, 1 cookie instead of half a dozen), and it's a lot easier to do that with a few extra calories in my day. :)

***Note to self: Food is fuel, and it's okay for food to be fun... even when you're trying to lose weight! It really doesn't have to be all grilled chicken and steamed veggies all the time. You don't have to exclusively eat bland food as punishment for being overweight.

Mandy - I find myself nodding with just about everything that you said. I clearly don't follow the calorie recommendations. I tend to eat fewer calories, often far fewer calories, but I am also doing it under the supervision of a physician. I don't really know if my metabolism is "dead" for good, but I do know that I gain very quickly when I try to do "moderation," and always have. I am really hoping that your theories work for you. And if they don't, you are fantastic at adjusting and staying on track. My doctor says I will probably be under 1000 calories for the rest of my life. Eh. There are certainly worse fates, and I am incredibly grateful that my struggle is trying to restrict my food, not that I don't have food available to me. But you might not need to ever eat under 1000 calories a day. I hope that for you, anyway. And woot on the great scale results, sodium and PMS not withstanding. As you say, you are certainly doing something right.

Diane - I hope you are still on the mend and that you are rocking the food discipline this weekend.

I am pushing it with my running lately, and I am so grateful I am. Today was a lifting day, and that always starts with five minutes of cardio. Today, I walked for a minute (at 3.4 mph, not my previous 3.0 mph pace), then ran for a quarter-mile mostly at 5.4 mph, finishing out at 6.2 mph. And it was easy! And I can run up stairs if I am running late for a meeting, and not be out of breath. It's hard. But there is certainly a pay-off. I am on Day 1 of Shark Week, so my lifting was not impressive. (I tend to be very weak for the first day or two of my period.) But I was there, and I managed to get in a decent work-out. And then I bought some size 12 jeans, cuz I can. They are already a little loose. I am feeling like I can live this way for the rest of my life.

It's Sunday, and I am at work, with a ton of stuff to do to get ready for Christmas. I may or may not check in tomorrow, as I am traveling for court hearings, but Imma try. This place (and you guys!) are good for me. I hope everyone is having a great weekend!

I really didn't feel like doing anything today except sit and snack. Tired and lazy and hungry. But I made myself get up and do things. Clean the kitchen. Clean the bathroom. Put the baby's clothes away. Cook dinner instead of snack. I even forced myself to exercise for an hour. I still feel tired and want to sit down and put my feet up for a bit... but I'm not snacky, and I don't feel lazy anymore. I actually feel pretty good for making this happen. I logged where I caved a bit and had some snacks, and will not be over because of exercise. I'm proud of myself for the way I handled today. Fat me would have just sat and snacked all day. New me didn't let that happen. That's a win.

I hope this means the changes I am making are becoming permanent life changes, and not "I'm just doing this to lose weight."

Sounds like good things are happening on this thread. I have to make this quick as I am swamped at work. I am getting better, although my back still hurts. I went to PT, and it does help, so that's good. To the gym tomorrow!!

Like Diane, I too am a bit swamped, so this will be a quick check-in.

Mandy - Super excited to watch the new you emerge. We are always changing. It's great when we change for the better!

Diane - So glad to hear that the PT is working. Can't wait to hear the report from the return to the gym.

I ran my 25 minutes this morning -- like 2.25 miles. Not easy. Not particularly fun. But done. And I continue to be on the right track. Wearing a suit I bought about three years ago and was never able to wear before, so feel pretty good about that.

Hope everyone has a great day/week!

Good morning!

Gonna pound out some work today, then go to the gym tonight. Gonna lift weights. Gonna be a good day.

Hope it's a good day for everyone.

I didn't get to the gym this morning. It seems like the morning after PT is difficult. So, maybe tomorrow. Just need to get this healed up!!

I wore a new outfit the other day, that I was unsure of, because jeggings always make me feel self conscious and super fat. But the print on them was cute, so I bought them anyway (only $9) thinking "some day..." and decided to wear them to the family thing I went to on Saturday, instead of a drapey dress, or plain leggings, or dress pants, or a pair of jeans that I'm still uncomfortable wearing since having the baby. Turned out pretty well I think. Well enough that I bought a few more of top and bottom in different colors/patterns.

http://i63.tinypic.com/w7j8mf.jpg

I think I've finally got past the TOM and sodium bump and am on my way down again, which is good. I haven't stepped on the scale to verify, but my rings are not tight anymore, which is usually a pretty good indication that any water being retained is making its way to my bladder. Hopefully the chicken and dumplings I made for dinner don't bring it back.

And with the passing of TOM and the exit of the super cold weather and cloudy skies, my mood is much improved. I have been exercising and eating well, regardless, but I haven't really been into anything. Tomorrow is my regularly scheduled weekly "low" day where I limit myself to 1000-1200 calories, with my oats for breakfast, and a protein shake for dinner, and a couple snacks like fruit and cheese in between. Ever since I've been preparing overnight oats with chia seeds for breakfast, my day has not felt like it is centered on food. Oats are so filling, and so nutritious, I feel like this is a really good healthy change I've made. I can eat them around noon, and not even feel hungry until around 5. And it's only a cup of food, with about 300-350 calories depending on what I mix in. So worth it! I think I'll make a 'chocolate latte' flavor tonight and test that out. :)

I hope you all are having a good week!

Good morning!

Diane - So glad you're taking care of yourself. Sometimes the gym is the key. Sometimes being willing to forgo the gym is the key. Hope the recovery speeds along smoothly.

Mandy - You are looking hot! I forget how tall you are, but that picture certainly brings it back. So glad the oats are working for you. I love it when we can find the things that make this journey easier, especially when I remember that not being aware of my food choices and planning for them often means I eat high-cal food that I often enjoy less.

I am at work early this morning, hoping to knock out a brief before my 8:30 a.m. hearing this morning. I considered running before work, but decided to focus on the brief, then, hopefully, heading to the gym right after the hearing as a reward. Today is a repeat of Monday, so 25 minutes of running between warm-up and cool-down. Last night was lifting, but I usually treadmill to warm up for the lifting. Yesterday, the only open treadmill was between two athletic-looking men. One was running at 7.5 mph, the other was doing intervals between 6.7 and 3.4. (Yes - I am that gym patron that looks at everyone's times, but I never get judgey about it.) I knew I was only running for a few minutes, so after a minute of walking, I cranked it up and ran 3 minutes at 6.2 mph. I felt like I almost fit in! It was a fantastic feeling!

K. On to my brief. Hope everyone has a really great day.

Mandy: Wow!!! You look so good! Very proud of you. Glad you are getting into such a great groove. Do not feel subconscious at all because you look so happy and healthy!!

Laurie: Yeah, kind of hard to take that step back. It's been humbling to say the least. But you are hanging in there and becoming a running queen!!! Yay for you!!

I didn't go to the gym again. I'm just playing it by ear right now. If I feel good enough, I'll go. The trouble is that the mornings are a little painful still. I think it is just stiffness more than anything, but that's the way it goes. I do think it is getting better, but slow...

Have a great day!!

Good morning!

Diane - As much as I know that injuries are a part of this process (and really -- a part of life), it's awful that you're having to go through this. Still. But you're doing what you need to do to correct it. I like to control things. I struggle when I have to just let the process happen. I admire your patience with it all.

I slept very little on Tuesday night, but Wednesday was a running day, so I went. It was kind of ugly, and not my best run, but I completed it. My back and my knee and my legs hurt after I was done and got worse as the evening progressed, but I think that was more the combination of lack of sleep and running than just running. I feel much better after getting some sleep last night, and I am actually looking forward to my run tomorrow. Tonight is lifting! Woot!

Hope everyone has a great day!

Thank you, ladies, for the kind words. :)

I was super busy yesterday, cleaning like a crazy woman. It's like I was in the "nesting" phase again. I mean, I was on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor of the shower, and the sink, and the toilet. And not the one guests use, so it's not because there will be family here. It was the bathroom in my bedroom. All because I bought a storage thing to set in there so I could keep extra toilet paper and my pads and stuff next to the toilet.

The scale today showed another new low, 3 pounds down from the beginning of TOM. If I can drop another 3 by New Years, I will have hit my goal that I set way back before I had upheaval due to dental issues. Gonna have to be careful with those Christmas eats!

Had some good news that we are closing tomorrow, so extra day off!!!! Yay! But that also means I need to get stuff done today. I'll be back tomorrow with more words!! ha!

Good morning!

Mandy - I have those times, too, when I just clean for no real reason. I almost never regret it, though. =) So excited that you are so close to hitting your goal, despite the obstacles you've faced. That's fantastic news.

Diane - Woot for an extra day off! I trust you're continuing to heal.

I came in to work early so I could make sure to get my run in today and also sneak out to do some shopping in preparation for our vacation. I don't want to be at work at all. I am completely unplugging for a few days. I am excited, but I also have a bit of anxiety about not doing any work for an extended period. But I am also feeling a bit burned out, so I am hoping to come back recharged.

I may or may not check in over the next few days, but I'll be out for a week after that. I am going on a cruise with the family, so it will be interesting to see how the food part of this goes. The activity part should be good, though.

Hope everyone has a great Christmas and New Year's!