Diane - Glad you're checking in even when work is crazy. One of these days, we'll find out what your mystery job is, since you often reference it generally but never specifically. =) Hope all is well on the fitness and food fronts, and that work calms down soon.

Lilion - Squat down and go fast? LOL. Not even sure what that means, but I understand why it is a comment that would stick with you. I am not sure, honestly, that running is for me either. I am actively fighting against it in my head right now, even though this is the time I should be the most committed, as I have a half-marathon coming up on 4/29. My first and probably only. Sounds like you are getting lots of great fitness activities in, though. I love hiking! Hope you got better sleep last night and that the elliptical got owned today. Yay for some movement on a scale, even if it wasn't the right scale at the right time of day. Those usually weigh higher than my home scale. Hope your home scale shows an even better loss!

I had a completely off day. Not even going to get into the how or why. I just know that I felt awful and I got the food shakes and I ate too much and I felt miserable. Then, of course, had a 1.6 pound gain on the scale this morning.

I wanted to skip weighing this morning and eat the rest of my chosen binge food before work. (There wasn't much left.) I wanted to skip 3FC. I wanted to stop and get my [preferred binge food] on the way into work this morning, reasoning that soon enough, I would be on the straight and narrow again and wouldn't be able to eat the [chosen binge food]. And then I saw Carter's words in my head. I can stop any day I want to get that food. I can stop multiple times a day for it if I would like it. I also thought of you and your sheet cake moment, Uber. I don't want yesterday's moment to be the one that lives in infamy in my head as the day that I abandoned maintenance after only tasting it for a few months. (I am still amazed that you were so successful for as long as you were, Uber.)

I feel gross right now, and I know that the only thing that will make me feel more normal again is water and walking. So I will save the treats for a special occasion and I will get feeling right so that I can have a successful, drama-free run this afternoon. I still have prepped food at work, and have a couple of protein shakes and bars available for emergencies.

Hope everyone has a great day!

Diane Waving! Hope work calms down soon!

Lillion I just wanted to say that I really get where you're coming from saying that you don't run. I never felt like a good runner as a kid. I was slow. But when I hit adulthood and put on weight I stopped running-- ever. The most I ever did was run across the yard for a few steps to grab a kid. Then back in 2010, I was working on fitness through swimming, and somebody told me about running, and I explained how I did not run and could not run-- ever-- and she said, I bet you could if you tried. So I started on the C25K running app, which starts you out with 60 secs of running and lots of walking and then slowly builds up. Don't get me wrong-- I'm not saying you should run, but when I was able to run 30 minutes straight through (run is an exaggeration, it's more like a fast shuffle) I was so proud of myself. It was one of life's biggest accomplishments! Sadly, I regained my weight and gave up running, and was afraid to restart because I'm a good forty pounds heavier than I was last time I started, but I'm on week three of C25K now and even at 275 pounds, I am running again, and it makes me feel really proud! My point is-- never say never. You may not like running, and you may not want to run-- fair enough, but if I can run, then I promise you, you could run too!

Laurie THE DREADED SHEET CAKE!!!!!! I'm so sorry that you are having recurring white-knuckle/binge issues. That is so hard! I'm happy that I'm not struggling with that right now, but I'm so familiar with that. Regarding my own experience with maintaining a lower weight, it wasn't actually that hard for me when it was working. The biggest problem was that I never accepted that I was maintaining, so my maintenance was "trying to lose" sort of, so I pretty much stayed on the plan I'd been on all along. When it got hard, and when I eventually went sheet cake mad, was when a whole lot of stress started piling on-- I mean I was going through so many things at the same time-- family illness, career breakthrough, moving (twice)-- I remember that I used to feel my stomach churning, I was just so exhausted and wound up, and the one thing that would make me feel "better" was bingeing. Ugh. In a nutshell, the cycle for me was overwork and overstress, followed by skipping exercise because I was too tired to do it, followed by managing my stress worse because I wasn't exercising, followed by bingeing to relieve stress. The point in the cycle I should have intervened was in the over-stressed part, but what can you do? Sometimes there are just a lot of people depending on you and there is no exit. So, I'm still going to push to to make sure that you are planning indulgences into your life, because what I hear from you a lot is that you are an amazing, perfectionistic high achiever-- which is awesome, but everyone needs a bubble bath and a day binge watching TV from time to time!

Uber is over here doing pretty well. I thought I was on Week 3 Day 1 of C25k, but either I wasn't there yet or I accidentally chose the wrong day, so I found myself doing day 3 of week 2. I had taken 2 days in a row off and was well-rested, so I was pretty much amazed at how it was NOT HARD! Go UBER! Kind of dreading Week 3 where the run times get longer, but I am really noticing how the interval running really does pick up my fitness faster than the steady walking. Weight wise, I had to go to a fancy schmancy dinner thing where I was the guest speaker on Monday night. Because of that, I barely ate. (I hate to eat at events for fear I'll have green stuck in my teeth or spill on my shirt) Yesterday morning, I dropped a pound for the second straight day, clocking in a 275, but yesterday, I was so hungry that I ate a bit more than usual (still very much on-plan) and this morning, I bounced back up, but I'm still sticking at the 20 lb down mark. Hooray!

Lillion - Yeah, I always say it is a love/hate relationship I have with running. It typically is not something I look forward to doing like the other workouts I have. (I absolutely LOVE hiking.) But I do love what it does for feeling fit, toning legs, and losing weight. I don't think it is something that you have to do! Life is short, enjoy workouts!! ha!

Laurie: Ha, ha! Yeah, I guess I have never mentioned what I do. That could be because it isn't a glam job at all! If I could say I'm an author, I might talk about it more. But, I work in commercial insurance sales/service, and bonding. (and not James Bond type bonding... :)) It's still so busy right now.... Sorry you had a not so great day, but I know you'll rebound. I'm glad you posted.

Uber: Sounds like you're still having good progress. That's great! C25K is such a good program, I'm glad you're finding success. I can't remember what week it was, but there was one that just took me forever to break through. It's always ok to repeat!

For me, I'm struggling somewhat. It will be fine, but work has been leaving me exhausted and overwhelmed. So hard to be excited about getting up early and working out.

Just checking in to say that I did finish C25K Week 3 Day 1. It was a bit hard but not unmanageable. (Diane I remember that I had to repeat week 5 3 times before I could move on, and I was thinner and fitter when I started. I'm glad to know that others do too!) I'm also in a horrible mood, and feeling the way I feel when I start binging. I was walking through the kitchen where there is a half empty bag of gummy bears lying on the counter, and I literally had the gummy bears IN MY HAND before I realized what I was doing (I didn't put the candy there-- it was a gramma/kid situation) As soon as I realized it, I put them back. It was completely unconcious. Had two bowls of soup for dinner and I think the danger zone is past. Hope you all are having a good day!

Uber: Sorry you had a bad mood. I'm taking over for that today.... But you made it through C25K!! Way to go!

I'm alive! Just checking in to say hi to everyone. Been sick for a few days. Never got to formally weigh in, so not sure where I stand on my weight loss lol. Be back on here later.

Amanda Glad you're alive! Sorry you've been sick and hope you're feeling better.

Diane Oh no! Not a bad mood day! Sorry! Hope it's going better now.

Laurie Waving! Hope you are doing well.

Last night before bed, I ate almond butter, flax seeds and a cut up apple. The downside was that I wasn't actually planning on eating anything else, and I was feeling cranky, stressed and binge-y . The good news is that I discovered that if you have to binge, almond butter is a good choice. It's so dense that you reach a natural stopping point pretty quick! Today is going fine. Feeling a bit lazy and not totally into the idea of a workout. I think I may just go for a little walk outside. No loss or gain after my almond better adventure. Basically, hanging in there! Cheers to all!

Uber: Hey! Sorry you had a bad-mood day yesterday, glad today is going better. I never could get into peanut butter or almond butter. Really wish I could, because it's such easy protein and so filling! Glad you're hanging in there. :) Congrats on making it to Week 3 of C25k!!!

Diane: Hope work lays off of you a bit soon and the struggle gets easier!

Laurie: Super glad that while you're still white-knuckling it a bit, you're managing to *manage* it and push through it. You can do it! I'm so proud of you for doing it!



Okay so, updates. I didn't manage to make my weigh-in last week due to early morning shifts and weird scheduling things. I ate some not-quite healthy foods over the weekend and again two days ago. Got sick from something (who knows what) and started running a fever and was just EXHAUSTED for the last two days. Haven't worked out except one time this week.

Weighed myself just now to see what the damage was and to sort of reboot myself...aaaannnd it turns out I'm at my lowest weight yet (259.4) and that's at the end of the day with all my clothes on and all my meals in my belly! I'm curious as to what my weight will be in a few days in the morning once I've been slightly more on track. Guess being good to yourself includes rest and relaxation, huh?

In other news, I'm probably going to join a kickboxing studio! My best friends went to a class last night (that I couldn't go to because: sick), and they LOVED it. One of them is close with the owner and got us a special rate if we join. I'm gonna go to my first class maybe Saturday or Monday and probably join then if I love it (which I'm sure I will, I loved kickboxing the last time I did it and lost 40lbs at that point).

Good morning! I really, really need to read through everything carefully and write out some thoughts about my two-day not-so-on-plan eating and exercise. But things are beyond insane right now. I am going to try to get back here this afternoon, but wanted to make sure to check in because I didn't make it to a check-in yesterday.

Hope everyone has a good weekend. I'm just trying to get things done before the end of the day, so not posting much today!

Happy Friday!

Laurie Hang in there!

Diane Have a great weekend.

Amanda Woot! Woot! On the new low when you weren't even looking for it. Kick boxing sounds awesome!

Weight steady this morning. Skipped my workout because I was tired, but going to do C25K week 3 day 2 today. Hope it goes well.

Uber: Hope you got a chance to do you C25K. How did it go?

Hope everyone had a nice weekend!

For me, I did some regrouping. I kind of had an off week last week, so I worked on getting my head back in the game. I forgot to get a battery for my scale, so I didn't weigh yet. I am hoping it isn't too bad... But I thought about what I needed to do to stay on track. I didn't have any breakthroughs on why I am struggling so much, but I do know I just need to dedicate myself. I can't let the time off I had because of injury become the normal routine. I am disappointed that it could take me so far off my game, but it did. Now I need to move back to normal. It just seems like since my back issue, there are always new little issues coming up. My feet were hurting, my endurance is off, etc. So, hoping for a better week this week. I need to make sure that while I get back in my workout groove, that I'm getting back in my appropriate calorie range with food, too!!!! UGH. So hard sometimes. :)

Hi Everybody!

Hope you all had a good weekend.

Diane Sorry that you are going through a difficult time right now! I know it's hard when the motivation just isn't there. I have a feeling that you being so busy at work is probably taking a toll on your general level of drive-- it seems like the weight loss/fitness push is easier when we have less on our plate, and sometimes a lot of our brain space is just taken up by something else. Just bear in mind that even with slower, less intense exercise, your fitness level will bump back up pretty quick. I have a tendency to be kind of all or nothing with exercise-- I either do nothing or I'm constantly ramping it up-- and you seem like you might be pretty competitive with yourself about fitness, so maybe you can make a deal with yourself to have a couple of hard days per week and a few easier days-- you'll still see progress, but it might be easier to ramp up that way. Just a thought.

So, I came on here and saw my ticker and I realized that I actually lost a pound and didn't realize it. I'm down to 275. Had a bit of a loose weekend food-wise. My daughter came home from college for a visit so we ate out once, then we had bagels after church on Easter and then I made Easter dinner-- but it was super healthy because my daughter is a vegetarian and a super healthy eater. So I clocked in more like 1500 which is ok for a holiday. I'm really noticing crampy legs with my workouts unless I really focus on hydration. I'm taking a medicine that is a mild diuretic, so I think I have to concentrate on hydration prior to workouts. I think it's running at the heavier weight that's doing it, but my legs are giving out before my wind. Usually it's the other way around. Going to do Week 3 Day 3 today... I suspect I'm going to have trouble once I move to week 4.

Hope everybody is doing great!

Uber: Yep, I think you are right. I need to just keep going, and stop thinking of where I was before. I can get there again, it might just take time! So glad you are doing so well! Just keep drinking lots of water, I guess.

Went to Body Pump this morning. I'd like to run tonight, but I need to check in with my daughter first. It is her birthday and even though we already celebrated last night and she's going out with her boyfriend tonight, I need to see if she'll be home after work. I would hate to not come home to say happy birthday if she's going to be there. We'll see what she says!

Hi Everybody!

Diane Hope you end up being able to go to Body Pump, and Happy Birthday to your daughter!

As for me, I've been a little less diligent with food for the last 4-5 days, but not ever slipping into crave/binge type eating. I don't know why but the running has turned into a slog. Not fun. Ran yesterday and I'm having trouble getting my cardiovascular up to where I want it because my legs hurt when I run. I suspect this is mostly bc of my high weight for running, but I'm sort of wondering if I was doing better with what I was doing before, which was 30 minutes of walking at a variable pace with an interval incline. I actually got my heart rate up higher doing that, I think. Also, since I feel more virtuous after the run, and my legs hurt more, I'm taking days off between the runs, whereas I was doing the walk more like 4-6x a week. I'm going to go back to alternating walk days and run days and I think I'm going to repeat week 3. I think if I do it a second time, hopefully my legs won't hurt so much.

Waving to everyone else! Laurie? Amanda? Lillion? Carter? Hope you guys are doing well.

Good morning!

I tried to post yesterday, but by the time I was able to make it here, 3FC was down. 3FC is never down! Bad timing.

Uber - I understand your struggle so well! I hate to exercise for an hour when I know I could burn the same amount of calories if I exercise more intensely for a half-hour. But then, sometimes the intensity makes it difficult or impossible to function the next day, so the extra half-hour would probably have been a better investment of time. I have these discussions with myself ALL OF THE TIME. I always want to push myself. I am aware that too much pushing could result in injury or excessive soreness or even just an inability to finish the work-out. I think your idea is perfect to alternate and see how that goes. There's definitely value in feeling the victory after being able to run, and it does good things for your fitness level. But walking on alternate days sounds like the perfect mix of sustainable and maximum exertion. And, I don't know if it makes you feel better or worse, but my legs almost always hurt after I run. And I've been running with some consistency for a bit.

Diane - Hope your regrouping is going well. And that you got yourself a new scale battery! The regrouping is, I think, probably the most important part of this. I wish it could be all autopilot and just maintaining consistency in nutrition and exercise, but that only happens, at least for me, for a limited period of time.

I ran out of time again. I am going to try to come back this afternoon, but am going to just post this before I go another day without posting.

Uber: Sounds like your body is rebelling on the running. I think alternating days with walking is a really good idea. Running is just such a tough thing. Love/hate it. :) By the way, I've been thinking about what you said a while back about work being so demanding really cuts into workouts and food plans. I think you are very much on point with that. I can't seem to get past overwhelmed at work, and it really makes it difficult to think about anything else. I don't really know what the answer is on it, but I wanted to let you know that I appreciate you saying that. I needed to see some light on the subject and I couldn't get there alone. Thanks!

Laurie: Yeah, I think I'm stuck on regrouping mode. I am not completely off but not completely on either. Autopilot would be awesome.

Not much else going on for me. Just working and stressing! Ha! Looking forward to the weekend, as I have a nice hike planned. So ready.

And another quick check-in. I weighed on Monday morning. I was back up to 163. So, about a ten-pound gain. I know it's not "real weight," at least not all ten pounds, but I decided that I needed to break from the scale and to focus on getting back on track. I had about four or five days in a row where I was pretty consistently feeling sick because I could not make myself stop eating. I am doing better. I still have an overwhelming desire to eat everything in my sight, but I am doing better.

Hi everyone! No time to check in or even read the thread. Work (too much), sleep (never enough), outside stuff (when the weather cooperates), inside (when it doesn't) - Spring means I just have too much going on. Plus I have a cold. Boo Hiss.

But I just wanted to say I am still plugging away. I know when some folks go quiet it's cuz they've given up for a bit and that's not me. Although I did rather inexplicably impulse buy and promptly eat a whole bag of fancy caramel popcorn last week. And i don't even particularly like sweetened popcorn. And halfway through the sizable bag I'm thinking "what the heck are you doing?" but i still finished it. But that insanity aside, I'm still hanging in and looking forward to getting back here to hang out with you guys!

Vladadog - Love your breezy update! I am feeling the crunch of work and spring and activities too. And I love that your bizarre popcorn transition was a quick blip that didn't really upset the apple cart at all.

Diane - Work man. Work. It seems like it's overwhelming many of us right now. Can't wait to hear about you fantastic hike this weekend, and hope that the regrouping leads to autopilot soon enough.

I still didn't weigh this morning. And I am now recognizing it's not because I don't want to know what damage I've inflicted so much as I don't want to be accountable for the damage I will inflict. And just now, I realized I have fifteen minutes before my next appointment, and decided it was a good time for a vending machine trip. What? I haven't done a vending machine binge for months. And it wasn't the cumulation of a craving. It just popped into my head as a thing I planned on doing. But I decided that I would come here instead. So, I guess all of my choices are not terrible.

Going to run today. And tomorrow. And Saturday, I think. I have a 9 days before my scheduled half-marathon. I am not as prepared as I could be, but I am prepared enough to finish it. I just need to get over my recently-acquired dread of running. Just do it. Right, Nike?

Hope it's a good day for everyone!

Vladadog: Good to hear from you! And yes, when people don't post, you start worrying about what they might be going through, so very glad things are still going well for you. Oh, and I love caramel popcorn!! I would have trouble putting the bag down until it was finished.

Laurie: Even when you think you have it figured out, the autopilot still doesn't stay engaged. Sounds like you recognized the gains, though, and are working back toward a better plan.

For me, I skipped working out again today to come in early to work. I don't really want to do that, but it is just out of control right now. What is really weird today is that I woke up with a black eye. I don't remember hitting it or anything like that, so no idea what happened. Lots of jokes at work today. Wish I had a better story about it!!

I'm alive! Just busy lol. It's Shark Week and I'm dying to eat everything in sight. Started up the gym again after getting over being sick and then just being lazy. It's the start of Fiesta season, and I'm working some of the events for work. Busy busy busy. I bought a pre-workout powder to try for a small energy boost before hitting the gym. We'll see how it goes.

Hello, everyone! Don't have time for personal responses. I miss you guys! I'll be back in full swing soon. I haven't given up or dropped off the earth! lol

Good morning!

Like everyone else, work seems to be crushing everything else in my life. I am going to do my best for a complete post, but I may just end up posting before finishing the post.

Amanda - Super glad to see your check-in! Hormones too often trump good intentions. Hope Shark Week ends with success, and good to know that your short absence was due to the craziness of life rather than a lack of commitment to your new fitness and nutrition regimens.

Diane - That autopilot just isn't happening for me lately. Fortunately, I'm not waking up with mysterious black eyes. I do have a lot of unexplained bruising lately, though. The internets tell me it might be because of nutritional deficiencies, so I'm trying to increase my intake of spinach for its Vitamin K. Probably need to increase green leafy veggies anyway, so it's just more good motivation. I like to joke that my husband hits me in my sleep, but he doesn't seem to be amused by that, so I've stopped doing that. (For the record, my husband is not physically abusive. Just annoying in other ways at times. And pretty great in still other ways.)

I weighed today. I'm adjusting my trackers to reflect the gained weight. Guess I get my unspoken wish to be back on the losing side of things again. My size 8 jeans were just a little too tight, so I'm wearing the size 10 jeans now. I packed my lunch. Great first step. And then I ate all of it before 10, even though I included enough for a late afternoon snack.

I am going to refocus. Right now. I really can do this. No more sugar for a few days. Maybe go back to the liquid diet while my hunger cues get readjusted to eating very little again. My metabolism is geared to gain very quickly if I eat more than that. And I am going to run today, regardless of how busy work is.

Dread: Good to see you posting! Glad you're still hanging in there!

Laurie: Yeah, I'm definitely not on autopilot either. Don't be discouraged on the gain. I know you'll get it back in check. You've done so well, don't beat yourself up!!

And, with me, still going crazy at work. I haven't worked out because I've been coming in early. I hope to get in a better place today. Have a good weekend!

Shark Week was a disaster. My sister baked us some blueberry lemon pound cake, work bought us hot wings for lunch, and my boyfriend brought home stuff for margaritas. I've eaten horribly the last few days. BUT, I bought protein powder to add to my smoothies. Gotta recommit myself this coming week. I'm not weighing till Sunday morning to see what the damage is.

Diane: I leave you alone for like four days and you get a black eye??? What on Earth??? lol

Laurie: We're gonna refocus, recommit and get our crap together, lady! We got this!

Hey everybody

Amanda What is shark week? Sounds like something I don't need in my life, LOL. Glad to hear you are doing well otherwise. Hope the little energy boost packets turn out to give you lots of ENERGY. Hang in there!

Laurie You are really fighting the good fight there. The only thing I can say, and I don't know if this will help, but the white knuckle time will pass. It's evil and I don't know why this happens to us, but it never lasts forever. You might not like your size 10s, but they are a lot littler than where you'll end up if you enter sheet cake mode. Don't let that happen to you!

Diane Sounds like you absolutely needed this weekend! Hope you get lots of relaxation and work totally out of your brain, and maybe a leisurely scenic walk to boot!

As for me, lot going on in Uberland. Yesterday, I weighed in and I've been sitting at 275 even for the few days-- maybe a week-- and I was still 275.0. Didn't get a chance to eat anything until about 1 pm so I weighed in again and lo and behold, it was 273! Of course, this morning it was back to 275. But, I know that 273 is going to pop up again soon. In other news, I returned to the obesity doctor for a two-month follow-up. The good news is that my first doctor visit back in Jan I was 297 with all my clothes on. YIKES!!!! My highest ever recorded weight ever. So I've officially doctor-scale dropped 23 lbs bc I was 274 on the doc scale. I've been super super busy finishing the draft of my new book which I sent off today-- so I actually have skipped exercise for the last 4 days. (and guys, believe me, I know that "super busy" for a writer is not the same as "super busy" for people with real jobs. I know because I've only been a full-time writer for about 4 years-- before that it was day job city, and there were times when I worked upwards of 80 hours a week, so I know what the difference is, and I feel really lucky)

But the big thing is this-- I'm starting to consider more seriously doing the WLS. The weight loss doc showed me REAMS of data that showed me that being pre-diabetic, with a strong family history and a BMI of over 40 my chance of developing diabetes is stratospheric and the chance of NOT developing it is really really good if I do the WLS now before I develop full blown diabetes. I've honestly been very set dead set against WLS because I'm a natural kind of girl-- never had surgery of any kind except for a breast reduction as a teen that I ended being sorry I did, having worked in health care I'm pretty realistic about how sometimes medicine promises more than its able to deliver. That being said, it's pretty clear that they've made a lot of progress with safety, etc. and when I take a good hard look at the science and my particular health situation the research tips pretty strongly in favor of doing it. And it's really really really frustrating, because obviously not only do I know how to lose weight, but I'm capable of losing weight like a PRO when I set my mind to it-- on the other hand, though, I'm 55 and I've been fighting this (mostly losing) battle since I first went about 200 pounds with my first pregnancy. That was 1991. And the other thing is that the doctor had told me that I had to wait at least six months due to my insurance, but then it turns out that I don't have to wait at all, and I could do it any time.... A LOT to think about!!

Meanwhile, I'm about to go hop on that treadmill. Thanks for listening, guys!

Uber: Shark Week is what I call it when I get my period LOL. It sounds way more awesome than, "I might be bleeding to death, but who knows for sure." Congrats on the official weight loss!!!! :) It sounds like you're putting a lot of thought into whether or not to get the WLS, which is exactly what you're supposed to do. Whatever you decide, we're here for you to listen and help where we can!


Quick update: I walked about 12,000 steps today between the gym and working the Oyster Bake event. I am EXHAUSTED. But great news! I officially fit into a size Large tshirt again. I've only worn XL for years and years now!!! YAAAAYYYYYY!

I lost two more pounds! Down to 255 :D

Edit: Y'all, I seriously, LEGIT thought I gained back at least five of the pounds I lost. I was so depressed even *thinking* about weighing this morning. I had to pep-talk myself all the way from the bed to the bathroom to the scale just to get myself on the scale to emotionally prepare myself for the result, only to see that I had *lost* weight. The lifestyle approach is working so far! I need to get myself out of the mindset of "success versus failure." There *has* to be room for compromise and having an "off" week without beating myself up about it.

I think another part of it is that my concept of "falling off the wagon" is different than it used to be. Hot wings, pizza (last night), margaritas, and cake used to be an everyday kind of thing for me. Now I have it once a week and freak out thinking I've binged my way back to almost 270. I need to adjust my view and realize that having a small muffin size piece of the lemon/blueberry cake (with no icing, homemade by my sister) is an okay thing to have every now and then, BECAUSE I DON'T EAT IT EVERYDAY ANYMORE. It's a treat. I should enjoy it, and then go a tiny bit harder at the gym later. Even if it doesn't completely even out, it's okay because I don't do it all the time and it's the long-run that counts.

Goal for the week: focus on the long-run, drink tons of water, get back to working out five out of the seven days, and be happy!

Amanda

Woot! Woot! Woot! So happy and excited that you are down two. That is awesome!!!!! (I just wanna say that I just realized HOW OLD I am when I had no idea what Shark Week was LOL!) I gotta say getting rid of Shark Week is one thing that makes getting older better! ;-)

So, I just wanna say that I TOTALLY get what you are talking about when eating something "off" feels like enough to send us straight back up the scale, especially if the scale is bouncing around due to water weight anyway. I am also noticing something really different about me this time. In the past, in order to succeed I had to really be OBSESSIVE-- daily tracking, daily weighing, checking in here several times a day. just thinking about it ALL THE TIME. Last time around I was super strict-- and I dropped the first fifty really fast-- but the second fifty was r-e-a-l-l-y s-l-o-w because I started so low I had nowhere to drop to. So, this time I've only written down my calories every once in a while when I wanted to get a rough idea what I had eaten, and I've had plenty of little treats along the way-- meals out, etc. and I've still lose 23 lbs since late January!!! I would call my diet right now something like : Exercise moderately and stop doing the stuff that makes you fat. LOL. I haven't been super hungry. I don't feel deprived. I'm not obsessing about being perfect, I'm just not doing the things that make me fat. I may need to modify as I go down the scale but for now, it's really great to be able to lose without constantly obsessing about it.

Uber: That's exactly the best way to describe my tactic as well!!! "Stop doing the things that made you fat." That's literally it in a nutshell LOL. I know I could be losing so much faster, but honestly, this way doesn't stress me out nearly as much. I feel *good* about my body and myself. I'll tweak it later if I need to, but for right now I feel great!

Didn't do *anything* today. It was amazing. Ate some oatmeal, a whole bag of white cheddar air popped popcorn, a salad, and washed some dishes and did a load of laundry. Been reading "American Gods" all day. Great day off. :)

Amanda
Sounds like a great day off. White cheddar air popped popcorn. Yum! I'm so glad it's working for you and that you are managing not to feel stressed. And definitely, we need to tweak as we go along, but if something is working, then it's working.

I had a not so great day. My normal exercise time is around 5-5:30-- right before dinner-- and things have come up that have made me miss the window, then I don't feel like doing it after dinner. Today I was nibbly-- ate a big, but healthy on track lunch, then nibbled beef jerky at 4 pm, at a normal-sized dinner, then started feeling bingey at night when I served my son a dish of ice cream. So I remember that last time I was feeling sort of half out of control I ate apple with almond butter-- because it's so dense that you really can't manage to do too much damage... All in all it wasn't a terrible day, but I really dont' like when I start to getting that slipping out of control feeling. I've not been struggling like that recently. That being said, I KNOW EXACTLY WHY because I had a stressful event happen today. Still working on managing my stress without eating, but I feel like recognizing the threat of a binge and eating something healthy was an okay coping strategy.

Diane, Laurie, Vlada Hope you guys are hanging in there.

Wow, a lot has been going on here while I've been mostly missing. It seems like we've all been pushing up hill a bit this month. And here I thought March was hard....

Uber - interesting news about the WLS. That's a lot to consider. Avoiding diabetes is devoutly to be wished for that's for sure.

Laurie - it seems like you're where I most desperately never want to end up again. Trying to get back on track. I'm terrible at that. And I've got no insight or advice but I am totally confident you can get through this phase.

Slash - what the heck? How'd you get a black eye? It seems like you've got enough going on just keep on keeping on without adding mysterious injuries to the list!

Dread - It's great to hear your weight loss is continuing even with some eating ups and downs! We have to be able to relax with friends and family without constant focus on every bite we eat. Learning to find the balance is the key and it seems like you're working that out!

Lilion - seems like you're back checking in regularly. That's an important key to success as far as I'm concerned!

and Vlad.... i plugged my fitbit in to charge while i did the dishes tonight and I forgot it at home. I feel nekkid. But driving in to work i was thinking about this whole journey and the tools we use to help us. I can see using something like myfitness pal (MFP) pretty much forever because I need that accountability. I cheat otherwise. I even acknowledge to myself that i am cheating and I still cheat. I am weak. And a cheater. I accept this true fact about myself and I'm okay with it. But I can see a future where I will not be wearing a fitbit type thing. My hope is getting up off my butt and moving more will become more ingrained and habitual and I won't need the reminder on my wrist. That day is not today, or this week, or possibly but it's a goal I can work toward. I am not an exerciser. I am not going to start going to the gym or start running. I just know me too well. I will never exercise the pounds off. I've got to do the bulk of the work by eating less and eating well. But I do need to get out for walks or strenuous yard work daily and I'm focusing on that now that some days it looks like Spring might actually be coming (it hasn't snowed in over a week!).

I've logged into MFP for 100 days in a row! Woot! Go me! And I've walked over 200 miles since I started recording my daily steps. Slow and steady. I've actually increased my calorie target to 1600 (was at 1200 while i was sick). I don't want to get boxed into a corner having to eat about nothing to maintain so now that I'm up and about more I've allowing myself a bit more food. But I'm trying to keep those calories as healthy as possible. We went out to eat last week and I had a delicious creme brulee for dessert but I'm trying to avoid daily "treats" because I know how for me one treat leads to another (and another and another). Every time i stop at the store for a necessity and escape without a bag of chips or a candy bar is a real battle won.

I haven't lost weight this month, not really (month isn't over yet though). I'm maybe down a pound. But I don't usually weigh daily and my weekend weigh-in routine got interrupted by Easter and then a busy weekend. But I haven't gained either (despite the allowed extra 400 calories and the caramel popcorn and the creme brulee (and amazing cream of garlic soup at the same restaurant)). My clothes are fitting comfortably, I'm being more active, and right now I'm just working on building healthy habits and finding what will hopefully work long term.

I'm gonna try to check in more regularly. You guys are good for me!

Good morning!

I love all this activity!

Vladadog - It's interesting. I think I've achieved the "naturally want to be more active" goal, at least for now. When I left my Fitbit charging at work last Friday, I still went for a walk after I got home from work. But it made me crazy that it wasn't being tracked. I wanted credit for it! Not sure if this is good or not. I'm going to try to join your "no treats," or maybe, more accurately, "rare treats" regimen. I have been out of control, and I know that all the relentless treat-seeking is causing me to just crave them more and more. Pushing uphill indeed. But it's spring! That should make things easier/better. Right?

Amanda - I love that this has become a natural, ingrained part of your life at this point. You're losing, and it's not painful. It's such a beautiful thing! I also read American Gods recently. I didn't love it as much as I had hoped based on the enthusiasm of my recommender, but I enjoyed it. Glad that you had a relaxed, relaxing day off. Woot on the continued scale progress!

Uber - I love that you're approaching the weight loss surgery question with quiet contemplation, rather than the desperation that I think can cause people to make bad decisions. WLS is not a magic pill. It is a major surgical procedure, fraught with complications and risks. One of those risks is that people assume that their commitment can stop after the knife is pulled from their abdomens. You seem particularly well-suited for WLS. You have the commitment, the drive, the knowledge to make the surgery work for you, if that's the decision you ultimately make. And if you do it before you have full-blown diabetes, you have more options. As Amanda said, whatever decision you make will be the right one for you, and we are going to cheer you on no matter which direction you take.

I am completely, completely off the rails with my food, which impacts my exercise choices. I have been super busy at work. I am actually loving the fast-paced, "Oh, you're so indispensable" vibe that comes from all of the chaos at work, but I have been really bad at forcing my way out of the office or asking my husband to give on the family time. I have my half-marathon on Saturday, and I have my surgery scheduled in two weeks. This is not the time to go off the rails. So, I am telling myself that I should not do the surgery unless I am willing to be very disciplined for the next two weeks. I think that's fair. Why waste all of the money on a tummy tuck if I'm just going to regain it all? And I'm going to run shorter distances every day this week until Thursday. I can do this. I am not just coming off of a 30-day diet. I have been committed for close to a year. I am going to walk away from this "sheet cake moment."

Good morning gang!

Vlada

Clothes fitting more comfortably? Being more active? All good! I'm pretty intrigued by you guys and your fitbits. I'm wondering if I should go that route. Because one thing about me-- I'm SUPER inactive! Also, I'm thinking about your creme brulee and your caramel popcorn, and you're still losing! Which I really think is the key!!!! I don't know if there is science to back this up per se, but in my own case, last time, I started at about 1200-1300 calories, and by the time I got below a BMI of 30 I did not consistently lose even with vigorous (running) exercise and a daily intake average just under 1000. So, this is what the obesity specialist is telling me-- that this is INEVITABLE-- but I feel like maybe the people who say "don't go too low or you'll crash your metabolism..." maybe they are onto something. Remember "starvation mode" that is always kicking around the forums? Well, turns out that there is such a thing as "starvation mode". So, I don't know if there is any merit to the idea of trying to lose on the highest possible calories you can get away with, and also maybe accepting a weight that you can maintain on a reasonable number of calories, might be an alternative? Anyway, I'm just musing. You sound as if you are doing great!

Laurie

You have a lot on your plate. Training for a half-marathon, going for a tummy tuck, and crazy at work! I'm sorry you're struggling food-wise, but just remember that you are still a hundred pounds smaller than when you started-- that is a giant achievement. NO SHEET CAKE FOR YOU MISSY! Re WLS I'm JUST SO AMBIVALENT. Part of me is seduced by the siren song of "do this, and you won't be fat anymore..." and part of me remains skeptical that the cure for my mind is in my stomach. When the doctor says "you won't be hungry anymore..." I think, "Are you mad? Do you think I eat because I'm hungry????" I'm going to speak to the psychologist and tell her my concerns and be really really frank about the weird eating patterns that have caused my obesity and see what she says.

Amanda Hope you're having a great day!!!

So for me, I was really tense yesterday-- and then got an unexpected bit of bad news in the late afternoon. Felt bingey but kept it under control. Kind dreaded the scale this morning, as I felt bloated and knew I had eaten closer to 1500-1600 calories, and then, voila, down .6 from 273.6 to 273.0. What an awesome surprise! So my goal for the day is to change my workout time away from the pre-dinner hour as that keeps getting interfered with and pick a time where I can make sure I do it every day.

Hey all!

Dread: Congrats on the large t-shirt!!! So great when you see something like that. It means so much more than the scale numbers!! Glad you had a great day off. That's so nice!

Uber: I think you're the first person I've met who is considering WLS that I think is going into fully prepared and educated. I don't sense the desperation and lack of commitment that I've seen in some others. So, add me to the list of those who will always support whatever you decide to do!

Vladadog: I use MFP too. I don't see a time that I won't have to use it! If I'm on task, recording all of it and paying attention, I lose weight. When I get lax about it, I don't do as well. I don't spend much time on having friends on there though. I just use it mainly as a recording tool.

Laurie: Wow! Hard to believe that the race is right around the corner. And then, the surgery. It seemed kind of far away, but here it is. I think you're ready for both, in my opinion. So exciting!

As for me.... Well.... I'm struggling. There's not a reason, but just struggling. One foot in front of the other...

Hey everyone. I've had a rough weekend food-wise. Both Saturday night and Sunday afternoon I was in charity trivia tournaments (for a food bank and Habitat for Humanity respectively) and snacks abounded. I did pretty good Saturday, sticking to the carrots and hummus someone brought and logging as I ate (my teammates kind of scratched their heads at my scanning the UPC codes on the chip bags into MFP) and ordered Jimmy John's for dinner so I knew the calories of the sandwich. Sunday after the event my husband and I were just so exhausted (up late Saturday and up early Sunday) that we ordered Chinese and laid down for a nap until it came. Went over rather significantly on Sunday's dinner, but it was at least logged and intentional.

I'm in a mood from **** though these days. Feeling like the ONLY thing I have any control over is my eating. My house is a disaster - I do NOT exaggerate here, it's filthy. My yard work is undone. There are literally a dozen rather substantial, half started, home improvement projects. I'm behind at the office and will have to work this weekend to try to catch up. I feel like I'm just overwhelmed and floundering and instead of doing anything to fix it I shut down and do nothing at all. I hate this feeling. Everyone who knows me thinks I'm a little bit of a control freak. They'd be shocked to know how out of control my entire life is most of the time. At home at least, it's equally my husband's fault...but...(My husband who's complaining about "only" losing 20 lbs in 14 weeks. :mad: Butthead.)

You know what? I'm not going to keep whining. I'm writing this at work and I need to get back to it. I'll try to check in later.

Uber: White cheddar air-popped popcorn is my FAVORITE. It's my "guilty pleasure" that I don't feel one bit guilty about at all lol. Recognizing the threat of the binge and having the self-control to curb it by eating something way healthier is fantastic progress! Half the time I do that and end up eating both the healthy alternative AND the binge food anyways. Apparently your method is working if you're waking up to 0.6lb weight losses ;) Good luck with rescheduling the working out times!

Vlad: Ugh, I hate when I forget my FitBit. I feel nekkid too!!! Although I did manage to continue going to the gym when I forgot it like three days in a row last week lol. Congrats on the 100 days straight of MFP! I just can't seem to get into it. I feel like I'm logging my calories all wrong and then just get frustrated and stop. Congrats on the maintenance and for figuring out how to have "every now and then" treats instead of "daily" treats!

Laurie: I read American Gods in about 12 hours on Monday because I was impatient to see how it ends...I immediately finished it and began re-reading it much slower and it's a lot better the second time around! What the heck??? How did your half-marathon come up so quickly??? And your surgery is right around the corner too! Where is this year going??? You can do it! We're rooting for you!!! You're totally ready for both, just gotta get back in the right mindset for it.

Slash: You're right, I was so much happier about the shirt than I was about the weight loss so far lol. It's a much more concrete thing than these random numbers on the scale. I think everyone's been struggling lately. It's something in the air!

Lilion: With as crazy and rough as it is, I'm glad you're still checking in with us and keeping accountable! I can totally relate to being a bit of a control-freak and feeling like everything is totally wild and out of control. Reading your post is like a snapshot of my life! And I can relate to stupid boys losing weight quickly and at half the effort >:(



What a crazy day at work! I think everyone has spent their way through their tax refund by now, which means they're all coming back to donating plasma to get that extra dollar again...which is fine (donors get an extra dollar in their pocket, I have a job, and the company makes life-saving meds), except that I'm *tired*! We got completely slammed by new and return-new donors today and I did a ridiculous amount of paperwork. I only walked 8,000 steps and that sounds completely stupid compared to how much I *feel* like I walked. Ugh. I can relate to Laurie with enjoying the feeling of being "indispensable" at work, though. I complain about non-stop work and people needing me, but secretly I enjoy it lol. It's part of the reason I want to be a trainer, and then perhaps stepping up into a management position.

Food was alright. We gave in and had Whataburger tonight for dinner...we forgot to cook yesterday and nothing was defrosted enough to make tonight. Whomp whomp. Gonna drink a lot of water and head to the gym bright and early tomorrow morning for an extra-long workout before work!

Edit: By the way, gave a guy a shot in the arm at work today (I don't do this very often anymore since I stopped working at the nursing home), and he said he couldn't even feel it. My shot-giving skills are still on point, THANKYOUVERYMUCH. /smug

Super quick check-in. I skimmed through the entries, and I want to get back to more in-depth responses this afternoon, which I will try to do. For now -- I had my pre-op appointment with my surgeon's office this morning. A bit terrified. I had a decent run yesterday. Only four miles, but that's what I could fit in, and it felt good. Doing better with food. Starving this morning, though, and really want to eat everything. But I am going to focus on the water, cuz that's what I need.

Hey All

Wow! Great to see so much action around here!

Diane I'm sorry you're struggling! I remember when you were a MACHINE and I was struggling. It's always like that, isn't it? Some times are easy and some are hard! Just keep doing the one-day-at-a-time thing, and I bet that once your work slacks off a little again and you're in a more restful place, you'll be right back on it. And speaking of someone who actually was forced to see the original high weight on the scale again, ANY weight below your high weight has to be put in the success column!

Amanda So great that you love what you do and that you love it even more when it's busy! I am an RN but I don't work in the field anymore-- and I always HATED giving shots! Hated it! So you are awesomeness itself! And why not go to Whataburger if it makes your life easier-- that's the beauty of the loose plan, there is really no one thing that can throw you off track.

Lillion I really relate to this! When I'm not doing well weight-wise, it seems like my life starts to fall apart on a number of fronts-- my laundry piles up, I skip the hairdresser, I never wear nice clothes or make-up-- since I work at home, I just tell myself that no one will see me, but then I pop out to the store looking like a crazy cat lady. And I feel sort of blocked, as if I can't take the first step to make things better because I can't decide where to start. In my case, it's taken me 55 years to realize that when I get that way it's because I'm super-stressed out and not using a good mechanism to cope with it. For me at least, usually helps to do one single thing that I'm fretting about that will make me feel better about myself if I do it. This time, it was going to the doctor, which I had been too freaked out to do. Believe me, knowing that I'm prediabetic is actually not half as bad as worrying that I might have full-blown diabetes and be too scared to find out. Getting my hair done almost always kick starts me feeling better about myself. In fact, this time, I broke the bad cycle of night-time binging by coming up with an elaborate night time beauty routine with about 14 different kinds of lotion, LOL! :-) I am also a control freak and a perfectionist, and I have a tendency to push things that I'm worrying about to the back of my mind and just not think about them-- but they're still there, bugging me, and then it shows up in other things-- like eating way too much! Ignore all this if it doesn't feel like it pertains to you! But just wanted you to know that I really do relate!

Laurie Waving! Very exciting if scary news about TT so fast approaching. I think you will be thrilled with results and it will be worth it!

So, I don't know what's up but I'm having a TOTALLY AWESOME scale week. Was down to 271 this morning! And all this without really stressing myself out about food at all. In fact, I thought I had two sort of high days this week. I'm still not tracking on MFP but I am sticking very religiously to just two meals a day plus coffee with milk for breakfast (I end up taking in about a cup to a cup and a half of 2% so it's pretty substantial.) I'm finding that as long as I stick to pretty much healthy choices and normal serving sizes, I can eat until I'm stuffed at both lunch and dinner. I am not getting hungry at all, and I don't feel deprived. And I'm losing! It's like magic! Compared to previous trips down the scale I'm being a lot more relaxed about what I eat, and it definitely leaves me feeling less hungry, and less cravey. I don't know. Maybe it's not what I'm doing at all, but just my very high level of commitment to improve my health. On the exercise front, I did Week 4 Day 1 of C25k which has two three minute runs and two five minute runs. I made it through the first five minute run, but I walked an extra two minutes, cutting the second 5 minute run to 3 minutes. I am definitely finding that aggressive hydration is helping a lot with the leg cramps. I think the next time I do the workout I'll be able to do the two 5 minute runs. I'm running WAAAAY slower than I did before-- treadmill at 3.9-4.2, which in the past I would have considered a walk! I used to go back and forth between 5.0 and 3.7 for the walks. But, I'm in the 270s and running, so I'm proud of myself and I doing the interval workouts really seems to improve my overall fitness level so much faster!

I'm REALLY LOOKING FORWARD to seeing the 260s. Over the past few years I've gone up and down the scale from low 270s to low 280s a bunch of times, but when I hit 260 I start to feel a difference in how my clothes fit, etc.

Uber and Panda, thanks. I appreciate the empathy. I remember this feeling from last time I lost. It seems that I go through life with these things piling up and most of the time they don't bother me. When I'm trying to get ONE thing straight though, it seems that the other issues are insurmountable. Funny, the house was a disaster when I didn't care if I was eating 4,000 calories a day and I didn't freak out at it, nor did I get so upset when I thought about all the projects then. So why does it matter now? Something for me to think about I guess.