I completely get the sugar thing, I used to be the same way. I'm so sorry to hear you're having a hard time with it
*hugs*
So much of weight loss is mental stuff. I never realised just how much. My diets used to go like this: put myself on strict, prohibitive diet; feel deprived & idolise cakes & sweets; have bad day; "give in" & have "just the one"; binge until I'm uncomfortably full; berate myself for "being bad" & think screw it, no diet will ever work, I give up; hate my body & myself in general even more; rinse & repeat until 100lbs heavier.
What changed it for me: therapy. Not related to food, although at the point I started, I admitted I had a problem. But the point was to sort out my other problems. Things that weight loss would never fix. That is when I started losing weight. I can have a cake now, a donut, or whatever, without having a small truckload of sugar. I'm learning to eat instinctively and sugary foods don't have the power over me they once did. However! I'm 31 and have been dieting since I was 10, so that's 21 years of developing a screwed up attitude towards food, and towards myself, then fixing it. And, no matter who tells you about intuitive eating that you will naturally gravitate towards healthy foods, is LYING. The first week I did IE, I allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted. I ate a whole load of sugar as my body & mind both craved it. I believe completely the addiction theory. What I noticed is that while I was eating only when hungry, and eating what I wanted, I was constantly hungry. I would eat a healthy meal and have a ravenous empty hunger within 10 minutes, without fail. The upshot of it was that long-term intake of excessive sugar had completely messed up my hunger signal. My body wasn't demanding nutrition, it was demanding an addictive substance that it wasn't used to living without. So, first I stopped having sugar in my tea, then in my coffee. And I drink about 5 cups of each a day so that was where my incessant cravings were coming from! After adjusting to this for about a month (as apparently it takes 28ish days of constant repetition to develop a new habit, which I've found to be true) I started doing IE off that footing. Now, I'm hungry every 4-5hrs. Sometimes I'm only hungry once a day, sometimes 5-6 times. I can eat sugary stuff now when I want it, and stop. But the ONLY reason for that is, I dealt with the underlying sh*t that was making me binge in the first place, and I stopped with the sugar altogether for a while. Now if I have too much of it, I get wicked heartburn and very irritable, and it's just not worth it. I ate a load of chocolates over Xmas/NY and felt the effects, and put on 2lbs. Back in the day this would have triggered more guilt and corresponding weight gain, but I decided this time just to get back into feeling good, and enjoy the fact I'd had a happy holiday season.
Don't give up. So many of us know how hard moderation is, and those that can manage it likely don't get there overnight, but need a cold turkey phase of however long (a week, a month, a year, forever) to get the hunger signal back on track and break the addiction. I completely agree with the beer analogy. If I hadn't cut out sugar altogether for a while, I wouldn't be here still losing weight after 2 months, I'd be bingeing on a domino's takeaway for 4 people until I felt sick.
You do what you gotta do, only you can know what's best for yourself, and other people need to learn to trust your judgement. I've had so much support from this forum I can't imagine life without it now, so needless to say I'm glad you posted, we're all right there with you on your journey. We understand and you're not alone
