"I never hated myself as much as other people wanted me to."
For me to this sums up a lot of how I feel, I never felt a freak, weird or stupid, or that I existed on an entirely different planet ( Planet FAT) but I think a lot of people did/still do look at me that way. Hence daughters comment I've gone from uncomfortably embarassingly fat, to just........fat. We've talked about it before, and she laments that people don't see the "real" me, because they can't see past the fat.
It's I suppose one of those things when we talk about what staying fat does for us on an emotional level, that has an insidious pay-off, if I am fat I don't live on your planet, ergo, I don't have to compete with you. And now I am older, I still don't have to get involved on that competition level. At 50 something I can bunk out of that race entirely. Which I have to say if I'm honest, pleases me no end.
@MrsTee - The non compete thing really hits home. I like that part of being fat, I feel like no one perceives me as a threat. Because what can she do she's the happy harmless chubby person. Maybe thats just in my head though and my perception is messed up , not sure.
Oh Lynnie - I am SO Proud of you! Congratulations Sweetheart you so deserve this! I hope to join you guys here soon (even though I come here to chat! I'm still well over 300 lol)
MrsTee - Don't you coach women's sports? If I'm remembering correctly, it's an interesting sort of tension there. On one hand, you're training women to be the best competitors they can be. On the other hand, you're saying that you'd rather not be involved in any sort of competition with other women in other things.
All that "real me" stuff... I have mixed feelings about that. I know you're daughter's coming from this place where she loves you dearly and sees all sorts of amazing things in you and wants others to as well. Personally, I think if people don't see me through the fat, that's their problem. But then again it becomes my problem when discrimination and all that other good stuff kicks in. I don't have any answers to that one.
I can't stop chuckling about living on Planet FAT.
silentarctic - I'm glad you're here to chat. And 11lb is not "well over" 300 in my book. It will come off sooner than you think and then you'll be able to look forward to the long, hard slog that is getting through the 200s.
Lynnie - Congratulations! The other side of 300lb is a whole new world mentally and physically and I'm so glad to have you in it!
Firstly -WELCOME lynnie!!!!!!! it is terrific that you are under 300!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Martini, yep I coach women's sport at an elite level, so it is a bizarre cotradiction that I choose not to compete on a "looks " level. But it is also a big motivation for moment to lose weight, so I look the part a bit more, as I said, I don't LOOK like an elite coach, I look like a fat mum, people often come up to me and expect that I am the manager, because I look for more like that.
So,yep, lots of contradictions and things that don't add up in that one............
I think fat people are perceived ( certainly here in Aus) as either stupid and lazy or both. Daughter HATES that people who don't know me at all look at me that way. She gets crankier about it that I do. She wants to be proud of me I suppose, and hates that people don't see me as she does? I know she says she has never been embarassed about having a fat mum, but maybe that's not quite true? Don't know....
Silent, you'll be here soon! Stay with us and chat anyway, we talk about a lot of varied stuff...
martini - aww your sweet I was 326 last tuesday though. i just never updated the ticker to post the gains... oops back down to 310 my water retention is all over the place this week. I'll probably be somewhere in between there tomorrow. my body has water issues! lol
hope everyone has a good week coming up. Lets tackle monday with hope!
Hey girls! Hope you are all having a fab week. Just checking in its quiet in here. Hope that means you are all having fabulously active lives. I miss you though. - Silent.
Hi all, yes is it quite Silent - I wonder whether that is good or bad?
Normally we are here solving the problems of the world!
I am feeling for the first time a bit - blurgh - I'm over this.
For me its 5 months on Saturday, and in that time I have not made a poor choice, I've had a slice of cake, a glass of wine, a handful of lollies (sweets- oh no that's English- not sure what the americanism is, candy? or is that chocolate?) a piece of chocolate, but nothing I was not prepared to have and enjoy - no unplanned or uncontrolled eating.
I've mentioned before that statistically 6 months is about the time most dieters "fall off the wagon" for want of a better term.
Might well be a tougher time coming up for me, hopefully a good WI day tomorrow will get me my MOJO back!
MrsTee - I once had an Australian penpal who wrote about having lollies. I had no idea what she meant. I originally thought she was just using a cute word for lollipops. Candy is likely the closest thing. Or sweets.
As for that 6 month "fall off the wagon" statistic, I think there comes a point on everyone's journey... be it after a month or a few months or 6 months or a year that the shine is gone. That the polish has worn off the new thing and that we just end up having come to that crossroads. Do we continue even when we don't "feel" like it. Or do we jump off.
It's no longer a novelty. And I think that's a -good- thing. It means we're at a stage where we can choose to make it a real habit.
It might be tougher, but you're a tough person. And you'll get through it!
As for me! My sleep's just been "off", so whenever that happens I just kind of go back to focusing on making sure I don't go over my Points and getting in daily exercise. So it means that nothing super awesome has been going on in my neck of the woods.
Mrs Tee - Thats where my coworkers biggest loser competition is helping, I did that, then this spring/summer I rediscovered 3fc (and actually used it instead of just registering like last time) not biggest loser again to get me back into it. I know after the first comp I really found it hard to find mojo to "kick it up a notch" so my weight loss stalled but at least i have not truely regained the weight (maybe like a lb hard to tell when my water levels fluctuate so much what is "real" weight gain and what is water retention.
I just need to keep finding things to make it "shiny" i survived a vacation without a lot of real weight gain so thats life-progress i didn't use it as an excuse to go hogwild. I did have treats and a couple things i shouldn't have but I didn't let myself go tottttaly nutso.
Right now I have a couple cute outfits I bought when on vaccay that are waiting for me to lose a bunch of wait to fit into them. I know its about the health but if I'm giving up my CURRENT cute clothes than fit me now I need something to look forward to as well.
Life is pretty quiet, i won this weeks biggest loser in my office (we just do that for fun, you don't get anything just a pat on the back). And so am trying not to let that get me too competitive, I kinda feel like I need to win again next week to get a solid "lead" on the competition also I want to join you'all "for real" soon. :-D
Hello all!! I'm striving for onederland too!! I'm at 274.6 right now so 75 lbs to go! I haven't been under 200 lbs since my freshman year in high school. Im chasing that feeling again!
Lynnie!!!! Such a huge accomplishment!
