Aww Liliann, no apologies please! I can say that I personally have gone into this weight loss thing time and time again saying I'm going to eat X number of calories (always on the ridiculously low side) and work out X number of days and that's that! End of story. Nine out of ten times I found myself tired and wrung out, and inevitably falling off the wagon.
It wasn't until my most recent attempt that I finally realized this is a marathon, not a sprint, and that I'm still in the high end of the 200s -- my body needs more calories now than someone thinner. If I figure out my calorie deficit and where I need to be to lose weight, it's way higher than my impulses tell me it should be and I need to listen to that. I still get discouraged and wish the weight would just. come. off. faster. Then I have to slap myself into reality and realize that any progress I'm making is just that...progress. Maybe it's 1 pound a week, maybe it's 5. The important thing is that whatever I'm doing it's life changing, and I'll get there eventually.
Find what works for you. Don't deprive yourself. And keep coming here, please. These wonderful folks have given me so much great advice (both directly and indirectly from reading posts from others in the same boat), and it truly is so much easier with the support of people who know what you're going through.
Hang in there, kiddo.