I think even if you write down what you are eating, she's going to ask more questions, mostly because you are restricting your carbs now. Google 200 calorie meal ideas and hit print!
I've done it for multiple people... just to give them idea's. I don't mind helping. But I also do it with the recognition that they WON'T follow it when they see what's on it. It's so far removed from what most people eat that they can't even conceive of it... though it's a completely healthful and delicious way to eat!
She really sounds like she just wants help. I can remember the first time I tried to lose weight. I didn't know where to start at all. I had tons of questions no knowledge of nutrition at all. I would have LOVED someone to just tell me what was working for them so that at least I could have started somewhere, and then altered it to fit my needs. I went to the doctor's to have a physical done and to get some advice. It was VERY unhelpful. I really did not know where to begin. It just might be overwhelming for her.
And, it sounds like she really looks up to you, and she's just looking for a kind hand to guide her. Some people can't afford a dietician, but I think maybe you should recommend she see one. Also, you may want to provide her with the site address to 3fatchicks because really would have appreciated this advice when I started dieting the first time. I might not being doing it now.
I know it must be a little tiring having to answer her every time she asks, but honestly it sounds like she just needs some help. It can be very overwhelming. I know it's not your job to help others, though. She really does need to talk to someone who is qualified to give diet and medical advice
You could always ask her to write down what SHE eats, and then tell her you'll grade her paper for her.
I think this is actually a really great idea, assuming you have any interesting in try to help this woman. I am a pretty picky eater so even if I sincerely wanted to try to emulate someone else's plan, chances are if they wrote out a week's worth of food, there would be many, many things on there that I don't like. But if I wrote out my own food, so clearly it's all food I do like, it would be a lot easier for someone to make even a few basic suggestions like "well, if you have pasta, you need to just have a very small portion" and suggesting they add protein to a meal if they didn't have any, etc., etc.
I wouldn't continue to help someone who made no effort or was negative about everything I suggested, but generally speaking, I would give the benefit of the doubt, at least the first time they asked, and give them some info and see what they do with it. People posting here tend to be well informed about nutrition, calories, etc. but when I'm in other situations, I'm sometimes shocked by how little some people know. Really, really basic stuff like a piece of fruit is better for you than a cup of juice.
It sounds like she does want help, but she has a funny way of asking. How can she get upset at you??? You have no obligation to her and her needs. Also, I think she's kind of looking for someone to blame, so maybe it feels better to be hurt by your lack of cooperation (according to her) than to take responsibility for her own action.
I like Peanutsmom's idea. Tell her if she'd like some help that's great: You'll write down a couple days worth of menus, and SHE will write down a couple days worth of what she's been eating so you can offer some advice.
If she does the "homework", you'll know she's at least somewhat serious about this and be a great help and a role model.
If she won't do that, just keep your menus in your desk drawer until she's ready.
EDIT: Oh! And please let us know how it turned out? I'd be very curious to see how she reacts, whatever you choose to do.
Last edited by Sassyinkpen; 04-17-2010 at 09:46 AM.
While I agree it's silly for her to be getting upset,maybe she can't wrap her head around the idea of only 200 calories and feeling full.It might be that she's trying to picture meals and her foods don't fit into that plan and she wants an idea of how you do it.
I'm always slightly curious to see how and what others eat,especially when I first came here.Knowing what I should be eating isn't all that hard to figure out,but putting it into recipes and such was always hard when even growing up,cooking from scratch wasn't the norm for me.
Maybe just give her a few quick meal plans...like 3 different breakfast ideas,3 snacks and so on.Yes,it might not work for her,but she can get an idea of how 200 calories can be satisfying and get her through the day.Who knows...maybe she's thinking a candy bar as a snack is filling enough,and she probably knows that that burger and fries are out,lol.That,and maybe she'll stop hounding you
Maybe she should look at her eating habits as a first step . . .
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lori Bell
You could always ask her to write down what SHE eats, and then tell her you'll grade her paper for her.
I couldn't have said it better.
It's not unkind to let others be responsible for themselves. It is kind of you to want to help but, ultimatley, her diet is her responsbility. Also, I've been reading a lot lately about how important it is to journal your food. Most people tend underestimate (greatly, in my case) just how much they eat!
I bought a great journal "The Ultimate Diet Log." Not only does it help you journal and create special diet "focus" areas but it also provides guidance on how to pay attention to successes and build on them! I got it on Amazon.
Perhaps mention this book to her? Or just a little spiral notebook?
Wow, the entitlement really bothers me, like your time is hers to take. She sounds like the kind of person who, the more you give her, the more she will take.
It almost sounds like she decided to make her weight loss your responsibility, which it is not. I like the idea of giving her a sampler of 200 calorie meals that she could eat. But I seriously doubt that she will follow it. I also like the idea of sending her here so that we can distract her while you get skinny!
These types of people drive me crazy. Maybe I have too many of them around me. I think that all of us here can understand how it is--we have found success and it appears easy to them because we continue to eat. What they don't understand that we have made huge changes in our lifestyle to get here! Changes that most people are unwilling to make because they think it is too hard.
You could always ask her to write down what SHE eats, and then tell her you'll grade her paper for her.
That is an ingenious solution! It puts the work and the focus back on her, while still being helpful.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JulieJ08
Wow, the entitlement really bothers me, like your time is hers to take. She sounds like the kind of person who, the more you give her, the more she will take.
Quote:
Originally Posted by losermom
It almost sounds like she decided to make her weight loss your responsibility, which it is not.
This is exactly where my thoughts went, that there is a bigger issue at hand. But I felt like I might've been reading into it too much. Neediness or something.
Worse, what if you write out menus for her, and she follows them (or not), and it doesn't work? Then is she going to come back to you and insinuate this is somehow your fault?
I remember people being annoyed with me when I couldn't point to a specific "diet" as the exact prescription to follow for weight loss.
I love all the ideas for the times we all come into contact with people like this.
Unfortunately, I think you'd have to know this woman to get a true picture of my frustration. She's a bit of a hard study and that's being kind. I can't direct her to the computer because she doesn't know what a "link" is or know what it means when I point at a link and say "click on the link". She truly knows nothing about computers, which is fine. I get that. But she doesn't pick up anything fast...anything. She's a darling human being and if we were friends, I'd have the patience to sit down with her and discuss and teach and write things down. But we aren't more than acquaintances and our chance meetings are never more than five minutes and she's not going to understand without my writing things down SPECIFICALLY and frankly, I'm not in the mood to write a diet book.
6 @ 200/ea. 
