Hey you guys - usually I don't surf the net too much during the weekend but wanted to add my two cents here.
Robin - I gotta say that I agree with Mel. With the exception of Las Vegas we generally stay out of buffet situations. (Chinese isn't as big a problem - I love Chinese food but Jim can't stand it - up until recently we had a 'double whammy' nearby - a Chinese Buffet restaurant I never went there and it's since converted to a 'regular' Chinese restaurant). And as far as going by the book...I don't know whether I've said this on the board before - but for folks who've already had a bit of weight-training experience in the past (splits, free weights, etc) I don't see a problem with changing the splits. Like Mel, after my first couple of Challenges, the split routine got VERY boring, and I had absorbed enough information through a combo of books, the 'Net, and watching the muscleheadz at the gym to be able to get a bit creative. But if you're going to do BFL nutrition - keep it as clean as possible. When you have fat to lose, IMO keeping the nutrition superclean and portion controlled is significantly more important than getting the workouts 'perfect'.
Remember - at most sit-down restaurants, including chains, you can ask for changes to menu items - a baked potato or corn on the cob instead of fries or rice pilaf; steamed veggies instead of cole slaw; etc. Even if it's not on the menu, most places these days know that many customers are watching their food choices. (the first thing that comes to mind is In-and-Out's "Protein Burger" which isn't on the menu - it's a special order - a lean hamburger wrapped in lettuce leaves instead of a bun).
Now, eating out isn't OPTIMAL usually, but if you work at it - plan ahead - you can handle most restaurant situations (with the exception of Chinese and buffets of course )
As far as Red Lobster, I have never actually been to one (none here in my local area) but I did check their website and I saw that it would be fairly easy to eat clean by a little menu-manipulation (as Dave Draper calls it). Some of the things listed were crab legs (generally not cooked in butter - that's put on the side so you can choose NOT to use it or use very little) and steak (they only list the specials on the site). I'm sure if you asked, you could get a fish filet cooked without added fat (or at least without too much). I also saw that they had steamed veggies and baked potatoes - just say NO to the sour cream and butter and you'd be okay. As far as the biscuits - again, I've never been to Red Lobster, so I don't know if they serve them in a bread basket or on the side of your plate - you could ask them NOT to bring you biscuits or push the basket away from you and towards the others. Now as far as I'm concerned, when I eat out I am a very 'all or nothing' person. If I eat a piece of bread, I want the whole basket and pass the butter too. it's like the taste of the bread makes me crave more and more. If I don't have any to begin with, I'm better off (still better if Jim doesn't want it either - then we can get rid of the basket altogether).
This reminds me of a passage from Rosemary Green's book "Diary of a Fat Housewife":
Quote:
PRACTICE ENVIRONMENTAL CONTROL: ...Pay particular attention to this principle. It has worked miracles in my life. It was only after reaching my goal weight of 135 pounds that I came to understand the critical importance of environmental control. I call it practicing "the common sense of self-defense," and it has not only enabled me to lose the weight - but to keep it off.
Finally, I realized that the typical "here's a diet...now stick to it" line from the doctors simply wasn't enough. I faced the fact that willpower, applied at the wrong point, had failed me for years. Willpower alone simply isn't enough. At least not in the conventional sense. I still cannot trust myself alone with a cheesecake. I am afraid I would eat the whole thing. So should I throw up my arms and give up? Or should I practice "the common sense of self-defense" - a conscious effort at environmental control where food is concerned - and NEVER ALLOW MYSELF TO BE ALONE WITH A CHEESECAKE!? You see, I have discovered that we fatties must look further than traditional willpower for a solution. We must implement a little ol' brainpower! We must determine which link is our weak link in the stimulus - response chain that leads to overeating. At which point in the chain can we expect our willpower to fail?
After 20 years I faced the fact that I simply can't control myself once the maple bar is in my hand. At that point, it is not my fault if I eat it. It is literally beyond my control. Like the alcoholic sitting at a bar with his favorite drink in front of him, once that stupid maple bar is in my hand, I am a goner. BUT...I DID have control before I bought the greasy sucker. Or before I walked into the store. Or before I got out of my car. Of before I stepped into my car. Heck, I knew I was going to buy that life-wrecking hunk of sugar and grease before I sneaked out of my house. That is where willpower must be applied!When the first wicked thought of excess calories enters the brain - that is the place to nip it! Benjamin Franklin said "It is easier to suppress the first desire than to satisfy all that follow it." And Mark Twain said "It is easier to stay out than to get out." So I have made a comittment to me: I am Rosemary. I am a foodaholic. I must never again go into a grocery store alone...If I follow that rule, I will never again buy a stupid maple bar. "The common sense of self-defense." The sweet sound of thin and healthy for life! You see, I have become like the alcoholic who was smart enough to get out of the tavern!
Think of the extremes to which a basketball coach goes to win a game. He makes his team carefully scrutinize a videotape of their latest game. They study each move. They discuss each player's strengths and weaknesses. They plan strategies and play sot improve their next game. Their next game. All this planning and scheming...for a GAME!
It's all a question of PLANNING. "Fail to plan - plan to fail". And also...it comes to 'how bad do you want this'?
Hi Robin! I just walked in the door from a weekend away and started catching up on the thread and thought I’d throw in a bit about my experiences. Mel and Karen’s posts are awesome! I have to agree that nutrition is the key to successful weight loss and maintenance. Though cardio and weights are essential to any weight loss program, nutrition is going to trump them both because you can undo every bit of hard work that you do in the gym with 15 minutes of unplanned and out-of-control eating. So this post is about nutrition, because it sounds like you know what you’re doing in the gym and that you’re not struggling there.
As you know, Robin, I started at 257 pounds, close to where you are. I never followed a plan like BFL or BRX. Instead, I was working with a trainer and we constantly tweaked what I was eating based on whether the scale was going down or not. It was all based on calories and counting grams of protein, carbs, and fat. In general, over the year I was losing, the calories ranged between 1200 and 1600, and protein was generally 45%, carbs, 30%, and fat 25%.
It took me 11 1/2 months to lose 122 pounds. I never took a free day and had maybe three or four free meals in that entire time, including Thanksgiving and Christmas (a little stuffing or two cookies). I never cheated. For me, the longer I stayed away from sugary, fatty food, the less I craved it. And I learned to love the way that I was eating because it felt so good — I had so much energy and the fat was just flying off me — a powerful motivation indeed. So, in answer to your question, I didn't do anything like free days or meals or “red” foods.
Now that I’ve reached a stable weight, I pretty much eat exactly the same way as I did when I was losing. I still don’t do free days, but will plan for a free meal once in a while, like when DH and I are going out. You’ve gotten some good advice how important planning is — for me, it’s the key to maintenance. I still plan my meals the day before and plan before we go out to eat and plan for being away at a meal time. Planning ensures that you are never caught off-guard when you’re hungry, because then it’s natural to make bad food choices.
For example, this weekend, DH and I went to a wonderful resort for an anniversary weekend. I knew that the food there would be fabulous, so I started thinking about how I wanted to handle the eating part of the weekend a week or two ago. I decided that I didn’t want to have a free weekend or even free meals because I didn’t want to deal with the (inevitable) weight gain that would result. OK, so just like Karen suggested, I went on the Internet to look at the menus. I found that I could get oatmeal and egg whites at breakfast, saw some good lunch options, and packed my homemade protein bars and PP. How to handle the two dinners was the trickiest issue, both from a strategy and temptation aspect. So what I did was decide that I would not have wine, bread, or dessert at dinner and that I would order off the menu otherwise with good choices. Friday night I had a salad and a small filet with baby vegetables. Saturday I had halibut and another salad. Passed on the bread, wine and desert (and these desserts were to die for!). The net result is that I came home weighing the same as when I left (my goal) AND I feel very good about how I handled the situation.
So it’s all about planning and mental rehearsal and self-talk.
How does all this relate to you? You know that I’m a big advocate about finding what works out for you as an individual. BUT — and this is a big “but” — you have to be very careful about tweaking a food plan. It’s one thing to substitute tuna for chicken or green beans for spinach, but a whole different ball game when you substitute cheese biscuits for carbs like brown rice or oatmeal. You’ve been around dieting long enough (like me!) to know that nutritionally and calorically they’re not equivalent. I have to agree that you will get the best results from BFL if you do the nutrition “by the book.”
And please don't take any of this as criticism. Every one of us who is losing or maintaining her weight has walked down the same road that you’re on and we’ve all learned a lot from others along the way. Everyone here wants you to succeed. In the end, no one is doing you a favor by saying that it’s OK to eat foods that are not going to get you to your goal (and sadly, I have to include cheese biscuits in that group).
Robin, I know that losing weight is not easy (if it was, everyone would be thin, right?) We have to give up a lot, it seems like at times. For many of us, food was much more than just nourishment — it was a friend and comforter and sensory pleasure and that’s all tough to walk away from. Trust me, though, you will get back a thousand times more than you give up.
Wow, there is lots of good reading here today Meg, belated happy anniversary wishes.
I love reading all these pearls of wisdom from the ladies who've successfully taken off the weight and kept it off.
Karen, I just love your closing line, "failing to plan is planning to fail". I've heard that so often, and am finally learning how true it is.
As most of you all know, I'm on the physique transformation plan, and I"m working with a consultant there who fine tunes my program for me. I have daily targets for protein/carbs/fat grams that I'm supposed to hit on the nose, no under/over. And I have to limit sodium and sugar in those parameters. That means LOTS of planning. It also means no restaurants as I can't control what others put in their foods. This leads to some "interesting" observations by family and friends. My mom doesn't like the thought of having to plan or count what you eat, so she's constantly finding fault with our program. (My fiance is doing this as well). I've had to take my dad aside and tell him that we'd no longer be joining them for meals if the food harassment didn't stop. We CAN control what we eat.. we CAN control our reactions to others offering food, but it was getting out of control. We're both very determined to see this thru and I'm sure it helps that there are 2 of us doing this, because the diet sabateurs would have gotten us otherwise. My fiance has a bit of a sweet tooth. BUT, he's kept it in check while we've been on this plan. At all family gatherings, mom has learned not to even offer me food anymore...but now her thing is to offer him food, telling me "not to look".. as if he's avoiding the desserts cause I tell him to. Believe me, if he wants those desserts, he'll have em, he's staying away cause he'd rather be in shape than eat them.. but still they push the food at him. We're on our way to a birthday party at the beach for my sis.. and we've made our food for dinner and are packing it. We'll sing with everyone else when they bring out cake.. we can still celebrate if we don't EAT it.. though why they can't understand it, I'm not quite sure.
Last weekend, we were attending a wedding. It was about a 2 hour drive from us, and there was an intermission between the ceremony and reception. Again, we packed food for the whole day. During the break time, we found an area to picnic, and had some of our meals, and then at the reception, we snuck out to the car during the buffet to have dinner. We planned on having the salad at the table, but since we didn't know the rest of the food, we brought ours. We never told anyone, and I'm sure the bride and groom didn't notice, as we weren't gone very long. Lots of people were out on the terraces of the place anyhow for cigarette breaks and such. Was that extreme? Maybe.. But we're working too hard to be in shape for our wedding to get derailed by social ocassions. We had lots of fun at the wedding.. I think we danced for most of the night, and the happy couple were just so excited that we had made the long drive out for their big celebration.
DO I like cooking every meal? absolutely not. it would be much easier to go out for dinner a few times a week and buy lunches etc. And maybe on maintenance I can do that.. but for now, nope, i need to be in control of my food, not have my food control me.
Waving hi to everyone late as usual for the b-day party.. gotta fly.
Karen - that was an awesome passage out of that book!! I can totally relate.....sometimes, it is as if I almost make up my mind I am going to eat bad food before I get there!! I need to not do that. This is a real issue at work, as at least once a week they either bring in bagels/cream cheese/butter, or pastries, or those heart-attack-in-a-box Krispy Kreme donuts Or they do cake for someones birthday, or bring in lunch, or whatever. My co-workers tease me about not eating solid foods cause they see me with shakes and "paste" (CC) all the time, or "eating that health stuff again" comments. Of course, I get my 2 cents in when I comment that they will eat my donuts for me and they do Social situations are very bad for me and that is where I have the most trouble saying no. Something to work on!!
I do agree with you all about meal planning. I do that for the most part. I just need to be more vigilant about following it. Do you guys know if you can print your fitday menu?
As for eating out, I think I simply need to do less, though easier said than done. It is so ingrained in me now it is almost second nature to do so. But I do think that would help. As for my Red Lobster nite, I guess by posting what I ate, I felt I did pretty good considering how bad I could have been. They have not only what Karen mentioned, but also lots of fresh fish that can be broiled or blackened w/o fat, which is what I did.....had blackened Tuna. I find if I season the heck out of things I dont miss the fat as much. Just gimme some Old Bay and some Texas Pete and I am doing great
Well, off to get my sweet taters out of the oven......
All I do is highlight the part I want to print (leaving out the ads down the sides), and go to "File" at the top of Internet Explorer, go to "Print" and click on "Selection".
RE: support – I would love to say that my husband is totally supportive but he really isn’t. It’s not about not wanting to either it’s about now KNOWING how to support me. It’s very difficult to understand about losing weight when it’s not an issue for you. Even after 2 years of this lifestyle and losing most of my fat I still have to remind him on a day to day basis not to offer me stuff and I also learnt how to say NO to him which was the hardest thing of all. He does well for a while and tries hard to be support but he forgets. When I do my next challenge, which is less than a month away I will put up posters around the house and in the kitchen etc reminding him about it. I guess you could say that it seems a bit much and not very helpful on his part but I understand that it’s just what I have to do to get him to understand and support me. After all he has a six pack and has never dieted in his life – he has an incredible metabolism.
You mentioned in one of your posts that you are trying to find out what works best? Well the answer to that is different to what you think it will be. There is no ‘one’ program that works best, it is consistency in the long run that works. Even if you change programs – if you are consistently exercising and eating cleanly you WILL lose fat. My advice is to stop looking for the best program and just give ONE program a chance. If after a specified time it isn’t working then try something different but keep trying and keep learning. I did about 4 different programs to get where I am today and not one of them worked perfectly for me.
Unlike Meg (and I am totally jealous of you for this Meg!! ) I lost about 50 odd lbs over a period of 18 months. It was slow, excruciatingly slow sometimes. The fat never ever ‘flew’ of me – I lost every pound with blood, sweat and tears. Now that in no way diminishes either my methods or Meg’s methods or just proves that everyone is different. On the other side of it though I now find that maintenance isn’t that difficult and I can afford a free food here and there. That is where I disagree with people sometimes because a lot of people find maintenance harder than losing. I am the opposite.
It's one of the things I gave up for the first 12 months. My husband hated it but at least he took me seriously because of it. He could 'see' what I was sacrificing and that I really wanted to do it.
With the exception of Las Vegas we generally stay out of buffet situations. (Chinese isn't as big a problem - I love Chinese food but Jim can't stand it - up until recently we had a 'double whammy' nearby - a Chinese Buffet restaurant 
I never went there and it's since converted to a 'regular' Chinese restaurant). And as far as going by the book...I don't know whether I've said this on the board before - but for folks who've already had a bit of weight-training experience in the past (splits, free weights, etc) I don't see a problem with changing the splits. Like Mel, after my first couple of Challenges, the split routine got VERY boring, and I had absorbed enough information through a combo of books, the 'Net, and watching the muscleheadz at the gym to be able to get a bit creative. But if you're going to do BFL nutrition - keep it as clean as possible. When you have fat to lose, IMO keeping the nutrition superclean and portion controlled is significantly more important than getting the workouts 'perfect'.
)
it's like the taste of the bread makes me crave more and more. If I don't have any to begin with, I'm better off (still better if Jim doesn't want it either - then we can get rid of the basket altogether).
Or they do cake for someones birthday, or bring in lunch, or whatever. My co-workers tease me about not eating solid foods cause they see me with shakes and "paste" (CC) all the time, or "eating that health stuff again" comments. Of course, I get my 2 cents in when I comment that they will eat my donuts for me and they do 
Social situations are very bad for me and that is where I have the most trouble saying no. Something to work on!!
