Well, I made it through last night. I ate a lot of other food (no wonder I don't lose weight, I'm compensating well! ) and then I played the piano and that distracted me. I almost went out right before going to bed but though, why do that if I'm going to sleep?!?!? There is something that makes me do it because I feel deprived or entitled or some warped thing. It's NOT a matter of logic obviously or hunger. I have to figure a way to get around this, much as I did with the smoking....
Well, today I go out to the mountains to see my horse and I ALWAYS end up stuffing myself with whatever junk food I can on the 4-hour trip back. It's the train ride, especially the end, because I can't sleep on the train and I just hate it. I'm too tired/uncomfortable/irritated to read and so end up assuaging my feelings with food. It doesn't really help but then again does. It's also because I don't eat enough good good because there really is no place to. I am determined not to do this today. It will be REALLY hard. Wish me luck.
No smoking -- Round 4 -- 7 days completed
Eat clean challenge -- Day 10 completed 2 pauses taken
Now, I do have a confession. I tried ONE push up yesterday. It was not successful. I may start a new challenge of trying one push up each day until I can get one that looks really good. Then, I might try to go for two of them, etc.
I'm not so such about it yet. I might try it a few days and see if I think I would truly stick to it.
I would think anybody ought to be able to do a few push ups. Think about in the military when they say "drop and give me 20". Well, that would not be possible for me at all. I bet those flabby arms of mine would look well toned if I could do some?
Just a note...
Eating clean has fallen again.... Continuing on the no smoking ok.....
No smoking -- Round 4 -- 10 days completed
Eat clean challenge -- Day 0 completed
Day 15, round two here.
Red, you can do this! Keep up the good work.
I wish the others who were doing this would come back. Is everyone so busy getting ready for Christmas that they are not bothering with their efforts? I refuse to let my best interests slide over this.
It is in my best interest to dance/exercise each and ever day. My body knows this.
Glad you're still here with us (me), derry!
Yesterday was a lousy day. I went through the motions at the gym but having to be at work, stuck in the office, just set me off on an eating binge. I hate it so much, having to be cut off from the world, dealing with horrible people. I even wanted to start smoking again.
No smoking -- Round 4 -- 11 days completed
Eat clean challenge -- Day 0 completed
Last edited by redballoon; 12-18-2010 at 06:25 PM.
Day 17, round two.
I'm amazed at myself that I am continuing to do this.
Maybe this is just my time to finally make this happen? I don't know. I truly am fed up with myself allowing a situatin to remain out of control. I've had my ups and downs, including the loss of boty my parents in the last five years. Emotionally, I've been a mess and my way of self medicating has been food.
I have kind of a no excuses attitude towards myself.
I know I'll be eating some extra foods over Christmas, but that doesn't mean I need to stop dancing!
I just can't seem to get into a challenge. It's like there is NO reward for doing it anymore. Or, the "benefits" seem so small that the "benefits" or "punishments" of NOT sticking to the challenge don't seem to matter.
I guess nothing seems to have worked for anything significantly positive in my life this year and there have been HUGE setbacks that had nothing to do with any of this stuff.
I have no support from others around me. And I have never been one to care about myself enough, which I know is sad but it's just they way it is. I wish I could be really selfish. I really do. I wish I was so hung up with just ME that I would have the motivation to do things. Maybe that's what I have to focus on....ME! And change all the screwed up tapes in my head (that are constantly reinforced by society) that say you have to think of others etc. etc. I wish I could be truly "mean," which, you see, is more of the tape in the very choice of words. Sigh. I am really sick of not getting anywhere at all. Maybe I need to think about where I really want to go and think that it IS possible to get there.
Well, it starts with decisiveness. OK....today I will NOT eat any sugar at all and NO junk food either. Even writing this...I don't have my heart in it but I know that not doing the things I hate to do are only going to make things worse for me. Even though I may not feel like making progress now I just can't allow myself to lose ground. Hang in there!!!
No smoking -- Round 4 -- 12 days completed
Eat clean challenge -- Day 0 completed
Last edited by redballoon; 12-19-2010 at 07:57 PM.
Still couldn't handle it, though I DID get a lot of walking in and the sugar binge did not start until late. I think I'm going to back off for a while and concentrate on exercise again. Eating is just my downfall. I eat junk because I have no appetite for good food and I hate to cook and/or prepare anything. Until I get over that or find an acceptable way around it's just not going to work to be beating myself up with failed try after try. I'm glad I am not smoking. The reason I stay with the challenges even thought it's my FOURTH round is because I know from past experience that it's about now that things get tough again.
No smoking -- Round 4 -- 13 days completed
Eat clean challenge -- Day 0 completed
Looks like I'm all in this alone again....
Maybe it's time to close the thread and finally end years of these challenges...
No smoking -- Round 4 -- 17 days completed
Eat clean challenge -- Day 0 completed
Don't know whether that is a good idea Red. Sorry life is not good for you right now but at this time of the year there is no support from anyone for anything. It's a lousy time to be alone.
Redballoon, it's your no smoking that putting on the weight. when you stop your body slows down for a while until it ajusts. Stick with your program ...it will change... and the weight will fall off. Well done on the quitting.
) and then I played the piano and that distracted me. I almost went out right before going to bed but though, why do that if I'm going to sleep?!?!? There is something that makes me do it because I feel deprived or entitled or some warped thing. It's NOT a matter of logic obviously or hunger. I have to figure a way to get around this, much as I did with the smoking....
Continuing on the no smoking ok.....
