Support Groups - The Pact

Introduction: We are 3 women who met in the "Buddy Up" forum, and we thought it was time for us to move our little group into "Support Groups".
The 3 of us have recently made a pact to lift weights, eat right and lose weight. We want to do this together and support each other daily while doing this.

Together we have been trying to learn how to eat well and exercise well. We all want to lose weight, and we don't follow the exact same food and exercise programs either. But we all want to eat more balanced and healthier. And we all want to lift weights and become stronger.

We are also very friendly and welcome anybody who wants to join us in the pact to lift weights, eat right and lose weight!

Hi Ang and Jessica!!! :wave:

I don't have much to report.
But I have talked to someone at the gym, and have now an appointment to call one of the instructors for an appointment. So, I'll do that later - and then I'll know when the actual appointment will take place. :rolleyes:

I am also feeling very enthusiastic about this, because I spent some time reading Krista's pages yesterday. I want to have a good idea of what I'm after before I go to the gym - so that I can tell the instructor what I'm looking for.
And Krista's weightlifting program for beginners - a 2 day split - looks exactly like what I'm after: http://www.stumptuous.com/weights.html
I want to start off with a simple program, and get more adventurous as I go along.

And - hey! welcome to our new home! :D

Hi Mette~

Congratulations on making progress toward getting with your trainer and reading more about lifting weights. I know the more prepared you are, the easier it will be and the better results you'll get.

I stayed up so late last night and slept in about a half hour later than usual. My interview panel is today, but I found out yesterday that due to "lack of intrest", our 9 interviews have dwindled down to 3. So, it will be a longer work day in the office than I thought.

Ang, I hope my message last night didn't sound to harsh, I just had one of those "light bulb" moments and felt very strongly about where we are in our lives as opposed to where we want to be.

Mette, thank you for starting the new thread! I hope we like our new home!

I have to get ready for work since I don't have much time this morning. Hope everyone has a great day!

By the way, weighed myself this morning and was down 2 more lbs.! Woohoo!

SW: 202 <---------- 6/20/04
CW: 185
GW: 148

Hi Ladies - our new home is quite nifty. :D

Thanks Jessica for the inspiration. You were not too harsh at all. Sometimes I need someone to tell me what I know but just ignore. I just wish I knew why I was so scared to step up and live life the way I should and truly want to. Maybe I need to sit down and really figure out what I want out of life. You had a lot of great ideas and I'm glad it inspired you and you were able to share that inspiration. I have always thought that it is essentially that you know where you're going before you try to get there. It seems like you have a real goal now. I know you can do it. You just need to believe. You have been very successful so far and I hope that helps you build your confidence. When you don't have supportive parents you don't always build self worth so when you get older it is your own responsibility to create that self worth. I am struggling with this too but no one else will do it for you. You are taking the first steps. You go girl. :D

mette - I will look for the printout for Krista's workouts tonight. I remember reading a lot of her stuff and liking it. The way she breaks up the workouts does fit right in with our plan. Good job with moving forward at the gym. Will going to the gym affect your running schedule at all? Are you thinking of adding a third day of cardio to your routine while at the gym, maybe elliptical or bike?

Jessica - sorry to hear about the interviews. I hope it is still fun and interesting. At least some break from work is better than nothing. :) Hopefully at least one of the three candidates will be a good one.

:bravo: :dance: :cheer:

Congratulations Jessica on another 2 pounds lost!

I guess I better get some work done. Later Ladies. Ang

Jessica – you’re doing great!!! Congratulations on loosing another 2 pounds! :hat:

As for the gym - I have talked to the instructor and have an appointment with him on Tuesday (he only works Tuesdays and Thursdays during summer, and didn’t have time today).
Which means that next week I can lift weights at home as usual on Monday, go to the gym for instructions on Tuesday, and then start weightlifting at the gym Wednesday! Wow. I just hope everything works out: that I like it there, that I stick with it long enough to get through the anxiety-barriers I have about gyms. Exciting times ahead, that’s for sure! ;)

I was thinking I would keep up the running on Tuesday and Thursday mornings Ang, but I have been a little bit worried the last couple of times I’ve been out. My right knee has been a bit painful when I’m jogging, so I think I have to look for alternatives to jogging – maybe I could use an elliptical or bike for a couple of weeks? I really, really like the morning jogs, and don’t want to do anything that can jeopardize them. I hear horror stories all the time about people damaging their knees – and how it takes forever for it to heal.

Ang - maybe if you had a couple of good alternative exercising programs you could easily do at home and indoors in the evenings – like weightlifting, yoga, exercise DVDs, or whatever – it would be easier for you to still do *something* even if you didn’t go out running? I also think you should include work in the garden as exercising! And when you do that, it doesn’t look so bad, does it?

Have a great Thursday!

mette - I'm glad you have an appointment with the instructor at the gym. Take one day at a time. Don't worry about sticking with it, just think about going to the instruction with an open mind. It is a new and exciting adventure. Don't let preconcieved notions about gyms take away from this exciting time. I guess I better get moving and pick which days I am going to lift.

You definitely don't want to injury yourself, mette. In what way does your knee hurt - muscle? joint? Is there any chance that your shoes have outlived their usefulness for morning runs? Have you changed ANYTHING about your running - distance, time, location? Using a bike wouldn't be bad to see if the pain goes away and then try running again. It could be like a little experiment. :lol:

I do have a couple of videotapes but don't really have the space in my house to jump around. I'll see what I have though. I guess it's not so bad when I count gardening but the rain has kept me from even that the last two days. Tonight is my pub run though so maybe it's the first step back on track.

I talked to bf twice today and he doesn't know if he has time to see me this weekend. I am just trying not to think about it because it is the only way to keep it from really upsetting me. I am not staying late tonight so I'm outta here.

Have great evenings. Ang

Hi mette and Jessica -

I just wanted to tell you that I did run tonight. I am glad I went and on eof my running friends actually made it to the run so we talked and ran together. I knew I just needed something to get me out there once. I plan on running again tomorrow after work. I realize how much I missed it. Unfortunately we ate bad food and I had a beer afterwards but oh well. Right now I am concentrating on the exercise and my mood. I went to the grocery also today and was less strict about what I bought (I actually bought bread!). I am trying not to deprive myself and to see if that helps with the food situation. If nothing else it should help my mood around food and that may spill over into the rest of life.

I hope you both had great evenings. Be back tomorrow. Ang

Evening girls!

Well, I had a good day and a bad day. The interviewing went great. It's a difficult process, because how much can you really know someone after talking to them for 30 minutes? It was a really interesting experience though, being on the other side of the table. I'm really glad I got to be a part of it. When it was over, I went back to the office and had another experience where a guy got SO pissed at me over something really trivial. In California, contractors are required to either have worker's compensation insurance or be declared exempt. Our system is set up so that if I don't have that information, I can't issue a permit. Well, I asked him about it, and he just got really hostile and kept saying I was trying to tell him he had to do this and that, yelling at me! The funny thing was, he had the insurance, I looked it up online in less than 30 seconds, but he got really irate. My supervisor, Jeff, was having a meeting at the counter next to me and he jumped in to stand up for me, asking the guy why he had to be so rude, and telling him he didn't want his staff treated like that. Well, it was a nice thought, but the guy got even MORE upset. He really just fuelled the fire. The worst thing about it was that his client, a man I've been dealing with for a few weeks and who has just been the nicest guy, was standing right there witnessing the whole thing. He just looked down at the counter and didn't even want to look at me. I think he felt really bad, but all HE wanted to do was get his permit. I finally finished up with the man, thanked his client and wished him well, and sent them on their way. Needless to say, I maintained my composure, did what I needed to do to get through the situation, and when the guy left, I headed for the bathroom and was in tears. I felt kind of stupid for crying about it, I guess I inherited that from my mom. When we get angry, we end up crying. Anyway, I cleaned myself up and finished my day. Jeff asked me about it later; he didn't even know why the guy was yelling at me; he said he couldn't even concentrate on HIS customer because this guy was being so loud. I explained what happened and he just couldn't believe the guy would fly off the handle about that. I'm getting really tired of getting attacked like that. I either need to develop a thicker skin and learn to stand up for myself, or find a new career. Sheesh.

Anyway, thanks for reading my ramble. I just get blown away by things like that because I'm truly a nice and caring person and go out of my way, especially at work, to be kind and helpful. So much for that!

Mette: Your workout plan for next week sounds awsome! I'm so excited about opening this "new chapter" in our journey. I'm concerned about your knee too. Does it pop? My arthritic knee pops now whenever I go up stairs. I really love the elliptical machine at my gym (it's a Precore, I think) because there is no impact and you can really work up a sweat.

Ang: I'm so glad you went running and enjoyed it! You sound like you're feeling a little better. Let us know if you get a run in tomorrow. Have you made any plans for this weekend? I know there are probably a lot of really good things about him, but everytime you post something about your bf, I get really irritated by the things he says to you. It just hits really close to home, and I know how those little comments can tear your self esteem apart, if you let them. Urgh...

Well, I was so tired tonight when I got home, we ordered pizza for dinner. It tasted good, but I feel pretty ucky right now. I didn't eat all of my "mini meals" today because of my schedule, so that might have had something to do with it too. I had four slices, which is still on par or less than I would have eaten before. I also ordered the extra thin crust and didn't put any ranch dressing on it (yeah, that used to be a regular routine too.) I'm not going to beat myself up about it. Food for today was:

Breakfast: yogurt w/ protein powder
Lunch: Cobb salad w/ rasberry vinagrette on the side
Snack: 2 string cheese
Dinner: 4 slices of pizza

I'll check in in the morning! Hope everyone had a good night!

Ang - congratulations on going running!! And isn't it great when you find out how much you've missed it?
Depriving yourself is never a good idea - go for balance instead. Eat bread *and* some lean protein. Concentrating on exercising and your mood, as you say - you know what makes you feel good.

Jessica - what a day! Hope you're feeling better. I can't believe people behave like that - and I totally understand it must be dreadful to work where people yell at you! Jeez. Good for you that you kept your cool and did your job, and also good that your supervisor stood up for you! (even if the results weren't that good)
I don't know about getting a thicker skin - I think it's very understandable and normal to be upset and cry when somebody treats you like that.
Couldn't you prevent it from happening instead? Ban the screamers from your offices??? ;)

And yes - I will try to not let preconceived notions about the gym ruin it for me. Thanks for the support guys!

As for my knee - it's not the muscle but the joint I think. It doesn't pop or make noises, and the pain is sort of dull. I haven't been changing anything about my running, but I wonder if I maybe should look into changing my shoes. Great idea, btw!
I could use some new shoes, and I could really use some new gym clothes. It's part of my improved enthusiasm for going to the gym: I want to look good so that I feel better - so I'm going shopping for cute and smart gym clothes that fit this weekend. Baggy T-shirts and old rags are going into the trash.
I got the idea at Krista's pages (she really is the guru!) - and it's so obvious! I've been going to the gym before in ugly clothes, and hated what I looked like (all the mirrors everywhere) - and it's only logical that some smart clothes would help my mood. And like Ang says: when the mood improves - the motivation improves too!

I'll also look into the elliptical machine at the gym. I would love to go biking in the mornings btw, but haven't fixed my bike since it was broken 3 years ago (yeah - I know!). Maybe I should look into that too? Hm. Many great ideas here today!

See you later.

Good morning!

Jessica - I am so sorry to hear about your experience at work yesterday. Some people are just inconsiderate a*&holes. You didn't deserve it and shouldn't take it personally. I know it would have bothered me too, but it is his problem. He probably had a bad day (or a bad childhood :lol: ) and unfortunately took it out on you. I am glad that the interviewing went well. As a grad student I got to sit in on some group 'interviews' for faculty candidates and it was always interesting. I had no power though. Do you get a vote in the hiring process? What are you doing on your day off?

Please don't worry about your food yesterday. Not really a bad day. One day in many that you eat 'differently' (not even really bad) is not bad. You can also concentrate on the fact that your pizza choices (thin crust, no ranch) are better than they once were. Enjoy the pizza and today is another day. I do agree that sometimes when you eat different food it doesn't sit well. My body is not happy about the nachos I ate last night at the pub. I woke up this morning and couldn't even eat my cereal. Hopefully I'll feel better later.

Jessica - you are not alone in getting irritated with my bf. I have been trying to say things to him but never finish the entire thought so I don't make much progress. I'll try not to mention him so much. Why should he negatively affect more lives than just mine.

I don't really have any plans for the weekend as my friends are out of town. I am watching their cat - that is the extent of my plans. I think I will go with my biking group on Sunday and try to get a lot of cleaning done in the house. I might even tackle going shopping for some tops since I seem to wear all blue, black and white and thought I should interject some color into my summer wardrobe. We'll see how I feel. It takes the right mood to be able to go shopping for me.

Yeah for mette - I'm glad you are so excited about the gym. I think getting the 'right' clothes can do wonders for your attitude. When you look at the bottom of your running shoes are they worn at all? Unfortunatley running shoes don't last long at all (as llittle as 3 months and not usually longer than 6 months). The wrong shoes can definitely cause pain. I love biking btw and think it would be great for you to get into it. Do you have a bike shop near you that could fix your bike? Maybe you could make it a goal to drop it off so you have an alternative or addition to running. Personally the elliptical machines hurt my knees but I think I am the only one in the world. :lol:

I was thinking about planning specific meals and rotating them so I know what I am eating. Can you two help me plan some things that are nutritous? How about this breakfast? It's the one I've been eating. When I get home I'll try to get the numbers that go with these.

1/4 C fiber one cereal (I think about 110 cals and 8g fiber - highest I could find)
1/4 C soy milk (don't drink the extra so I don't even get this much)
small handful of walnuts or almonds (may try granola later)
small handful of blueberries (or other berry)

The nuts and berries are definitely not a whole serving but it's something and makes the cereal more interesting.

Lunch?

1 slice whole grain and nut bread (Health Nut is the name but don't remember brand)
sliced buffalo or bbq chicken breast (how much? - I guess I need to buy a scale)
slice of low fat swiss cheese (would 2 be too much?)
piece of fruit (banana or apple probably)

I was thinking of adding a yogurt or something else to give me enough volume - any ideas or thoughts on what I propose?

Have a great day.

Hi guys –

Ang – I agree with Jessica that your BF sometimes sounds really irritating (sorry!), but don’t stop mentioning him, what’s going on, or what you’re feeling! Keep talking about it; it’s a big part of what’s going on in your life. But only if it’s not uncomfortable for you that we’re commenting. By now, I’m very curious at how this will end up. And I also think it’s one of the things you have to deal with – one way or the other – before you take yourself and your projects in life truly seriously.

If you’re not doing anything for the weekend – why don’t you come over to me and help me move all my stuff out of the way, so that I can start painting tomorrow??? Heh. ;)

You have both a biking group and a running group? Ang, you’re really getting around and getting exercise! That’s great!

My shoes actually do look worn – and I had no idea that you need new shoes that often! Apparently I don’t have a clue when it comes to jogging! :p I’ll look for shoes tomorrow.
Today I went shopping for a sports bra, and found a great one - and I fit into a cup size D!!! Yey!!! My breasts have never looked this small – I’m possibly never taking this bra off again!
As for the bike and whether there are any bike stores that can fix it near by – I have no idea! I’ll have to look around – and it really would be a great addition to jogging.

OK. Your food and suggestions. Jessica will probably do a much better job than me at this, but here are my suggestions:

Your breakfast looks very yummy, btw! Are you looking for alternatives for breakfasts too? If that’s the case I’ll suggest oatmeal with skimmed milk and banana, and oatmeal pancake (oatmeal, cottage cheese, egg whites) with fruit. The oatmeal is very simple and made very quickly. The pancake I sometimes eat in the weekend, and sometimes when I’ve been out jogging – it takes a bit longer to make, but not *that* long. Other breakfasts: müsli, yogurt and banana. Slice of whole grain bread, cottage cheese, and banana. (Can you tell that I really like banana in the morning? It’s filling and I really like the taste – banana makes it more interesting for me, much like the almonds do for you I suppose!)

For lunch: 1 slice of meat and 2 slices of cheese with your bread – I don’t think that’s too much. It’s about what I eat – minus the meat for me. And I add peppers (red, green or yellow – I alternate!), sometimes tomatoes and cucumber. And I also eat an apple or orange or another fruit.
Other things: I’ve been thinking of fixing salads for lunch when I start up with school again. I want to eat more beans – and beans are excellent protein in salads. I’m sure Jessica has a lot of good ideas too!

Morning ladies! :wave:

It's almost 10 a.m. here on the west coast. I slept until almost 9:30 this morning. Yikes! I think yesterday was very draining for me. :sp:

The interview process yesterday: Yes, the three members of the interview panel had to score the applicants in about 8 different catagories and write notes about each one, and then give them an overall score. If we had more candidates, it would have been even more crucial, because they only grant a second interview to the top three. Since there were only three, the department managers will consider their overall rank when they interview the candidates. So, yeah, I did have some power which made it a bit more difficult. Luckily the three of us were pretty well agreed on the ranking, so I felt pretty confident I did the right thing.

Ang, about your boyfriend, I only commented because I hope you're able to see how he is affecting you and take the steps you need to to resolve the situation. Please keep us up to date, and if it helps to talk about it and give feedback, nothing is off limits to post! I agree with mette that the process we're going through is to grow, in more areas in our lives than just weight loss, and it's important to discuss and analyze these things. My parents, your bf, mettes school and career, etc. are all inter-related to our ultimate goals of being healthy and fit. So, I'm not irritated that you post about him, I just don't think he is helping your journey at all. :no:

Oooh... I'm so excited that you've asked for meal ideas!! :D ha ha ha... Of course, you need quick and simple, especially for breakfast and lunch. Here are a few suggestions:

Breakfast:

toasted ww english muffin w/ butter and hardboiled eggs (I either mash the eggs in a seperate container, peel them and eat whole, or mash and make a sandwich w/ the english muffin)

Oatmeal (whole oats) w/ soy milk, toasted wheat germ and natural peanut butter (this is a new concoction of mine and keeps me really full)

Shredded wheat (or any kind of low sugar, high fiber cereal), with milk and splenda (add the fruit and nuts too, if you wish; that sounds really good)

Fruit and cheese

Lite fruit flavored yogurt and cottage cheese blended, or yogurt and protein powder (so you get some a.m. protein too)

Lunch:

Cobb salad is my favorite salad right now, with mixed greens, bacon bits, chopped egg, sliced turkey, veggies, low fat low sugar dressing on the side, or just some oil and vinegar w/ salt, pepper and some Splenda mixed together

sandwich w/ ww bread, lean turkey, chicken, roast beef, 1 slice of cheese, veggies, etc.

ww pitas or ww tortillas filled with a serving of protein like chicken, dressed up w/ low fat dressing, mayo, mustard, etc. and veggies

Low fat, low sugar prepared or hommade soup w/ noodles or rice, beans, meat, etc. and a green salad

Snacks:

fruit and cheese
ww or rye crackers w/ cheese and deli meat
nutrition bars or shakes (just read the labels closely)
nuts and fruit
apple and peanut butter
veggie sticks or cucumber slices and hummus

Does that give you any ideas? I think in your case, if you eat like this during the day, there's no reason you can't have a "Lean Cuisine" or "Weight Watchers" frozen dinner w/ a big salad or big serving of steamed veggies on the side. That should fit into your schedule and you won't be frustrated because you have to cook. You might also want to give yourself one day a week as a "free day" where you can eat whatever you want, like I was telling you the BFL plan includes. That way you're not feeling deprived on a weekly basis. And on your question about the amount of protein to eat, BFL gives a good guide, and you don't have to use a scale: protein should be roughly the size of the palm of your hand, and carbs about the size of your clenched fist. That makes it pretty easy to determine how much you should eat per meal.

I'm glad you have some things to do this weekend! I'm the same when it comes to shopping for clothes. I pretty much have a 1 hour max when I shop, and really HATE trying things on, although I'm getting better about this. I think it's funny that all of us tend to wear black, blue, gray and white exclusively. I have a couple of red tops that I wear to work and always get compliments on how good I look when I wear them. Yet I'm almost always in black, gray or blue. Do you think it has something to do with not wanting to draw attention to ourselves, and to be kind of muted? Hm.

Mette: I know what you're saying about getting nice gym clothes. I tend to lean toward exercise pants, like yoga pants, and a t-shirt. I guess my hangup is trying to look decent without looking like I'm trying too hard to look good. The funniest is when you see girls all made up with make-up, big hair, jewlery, trying to look "hot" and they never break a sweat. Sheesh. By the way, can you tell me the make on your sports bra and where you got it? When I go to places like Sportmart the largest they have is usually a 36-C, so I'm stuck squeezing into something that's too small, and it's uncomfortable. I'm so excited you found one you like. Please tell me all about it! :)

I'm thinking about getting a bike too, so I can ride it to work a few days a week. That really would be the best compromise and would save some wear and tear on my car. It should only take me about 5 minutes to get to my office on a bike. My only dillema would be where to keep it, since my place is so small and I don't have a lot of storage options.

Well, I guess that's it for now. Hope you two are having a great day!! :dizzy:

Jessica – great food ideas – I really must start to print out all this information about food. It's great.

As for sports bras – I never buy bras in sport stores; I always go to lingerie shops. It’s because I’ve always had really big breasts and I want good quality bras. It’s the kind of store where the lady behind the counter takes one look at you and say: “You’ll need a 38D” and is completely correct! :D
I really feel strongly about getting bras in right size and shape for your body – especially if you’re big breasted. Uncomfortable bras are the worst thing ever!
The one I got this time is Rosa Faia according to the tag, but it’s a brand I’ve never had before I think. I seldom notice brands btw, I just try on the ones I’m brought when I stand in the changing room.
But I know that I have used (and liked) Champion several times – both models like this:
http://www.championcatalog.com/cgi-bin/ncommerce/ProductDisplay?prnbr=CH141&prmenbr=631&cgrfnbr=74674&V=B and this: http://www.championcatalog.com/cgi-bin/ncommerce/ProductDisplay?prnbr=CH161&prmenbr=631&cgrfnbr=74674&V=B.
The one I bought today was more like this one – with the X or racer straps on the back: http://www.championcatalog.com/cgi-bin/ncommerce/ProductDisplay?prnbr=CH144&prmenbr=631&cgrfnbr=74674&V=B.
I’ve found that the average sport store is not the place to get sports bras when you’re big breasted. See if you can find a nice lingerie shop and check out what they have there.

I want something like what you’re wearing at the gym, Jessica - in some nice colors and the right size – no more baggy and loose gym clothes.
And no makeup or trying to be hot either! Got it! ;)

I think you’re absolutely right that the choice of colors is about hiding too. Just like fat is.
Not wanting attention, not wanting to be seen.
I’m also having trouble buying clothes that actually fit – I love clothes that are too big. I have to stop myself from buying XL and XXL sweatshirts and jackets.

I have to go back - talk to you guys later!

Here I am alone on a Friday night :( - at least I have you two to write to. :)

I know my bf is a jerk and I don't blame you for saying so. EVERYONE I talk to about bf thinks I should dump him so you are both in good company. Actually I want objective (as obj as possible under the circumstances) and honest opinions, I think it really helps me think about the situation I little more intellectually. I don't think I would even be this far if it weren't for talking to people like you and getting feedback that helps me see what he is doing and not doing. I just wish I didn't feel bad about myself over it in the meantime. I'll keep you updated. Today he took his day off and went to CT. On his way there he let me know that he would probably stay over. I knew he would but he wouldn't tell me ahead of time. I almost said something on the phone earlier but I was at work. I went silent for a moment and he asked me if something was wrong and I just shrugged it off. I really hope I see him tomorrow at the farm because next week is going to be **** for him at work and I am sure I won't see him. I can't go through another whole week like this. Give me courage!

mette - I wish I could come help you move stuff. ;) I like helping people out, especially physical stuff. Good luck with it. Do you have any help? What are you painting?

Tonight I found out that I have blackberry and blueberry bushes in my yard! I can't believe I never noticed them before. This tells you how little I have been in my own yard. I also met my neighbors to the side. These are the first people that I have met in my area since I moved in. They seemed nice and the guy professes to be a good handyman. He offered to mow my front lawn tomorrow because I have not made time and it is getting super long. He also is helping me fix an electrical switch that was giving me problems. This could turn out to be a very good thing and in general I just feel better knowing who my neighbors are.

My favorite things are outdoor stuff and I love to bike so I looked into a running club. So far I found one two towns over but they are older and only ride on Sundays. I have gone with them a couple of times and hope to go this Sunday but I would love to find some younger and closer people to ride with during the week some. I've looked a lot but just not sure how to find them. I guess I'll just keep my eyes peeled. If I participate in all the running and biking activities, I would work out 4 times in a week over 3 days. I did this one or two weeks and hope to get back this week to that schedule. I hate feeling like a blob and that's all that is going to change it - exercise.

Please let me know if either of you pursue the biking. I would love to have some discussions about it (nothing intense but just nice to talk to other women about their experiences).

Even though I am not an expert runner, I have read a lot about it and can try to answer any questions if they arise. mette - have you ever gone to a running store to have your gait analyzed so you are wearing the right type of shoes? It is definitely worth it if you are going to keep running regularly. I hope new shoes fixes your problem.

Thank you both for all of the food suggestions. I printed them out (and found Krista's workout btw) and will take this weekend to make a grocery list that will help me have good breakfasts and lunches all week. I'll wing the dinners for now and concentrate on B and L. One step at a time.

I'm not sure, but the more I think about it the less I think I will go shopping tomorrow, maybe Sunday but I doubt it. I just can't try on clothes when I feel this awful about my body. It is hard enough when I feel ok. I agree jessica that we probably want to hide a little. I also do it because I have no sense of style and so it is easier to match colors. I also get compliments at work when I wear a real color - something about skin tones.

Keep me updated on your shopping. I expect each of you to buy at least one thing that is not white, black, blue or gray. :) Maybe I should join a gym so I can buy some gym clothes. :lol: mette - I do exactly the same thing with clothes. I want big and comfortable. I can't wear things that are form fitting, even if they are the 'right' size. I know I am just self conscious about my fat. My ultimate goal is to be able to exercise in shorts and a spandex top (those tankini types are nice) with putting a t-shirt over me.

Jessica - can you hang your bike from a ceiling or wall? I do this all of the time and it helps keep it out of the way a little.

Sorry for the really long post. There is just so much to talk about. Tomorrow for me is mow the back yard, run and do some farm work (not sure what I'll do though since the weeding is under control now). I also have a couple of errands including checking in on a friends cats. I am seriously considering going to this thing tomorrow night in Providence but it is an outdoor social thing and I would be going alone. What do you think? Would it be unsafe? Would it be boring by myself? Would it be dorky?

Have a great Saturday!

Hi Ang,

Sounds like you're having as exciting a Friday night as me! I cooked healthy meatloaf and cauliflower for dinner. We just finished up. Mike's on the couch watching the Angel's baseball game, I'm on the computer as usual. He bought me a new printer, so I've been printing out all of my favorite recipes to put in a book. We had a nice day. Lounged around until about 1:30 this afternoon, then went and ran a couple of errands. He wanted to eat at Hometown Buffet (first of all, I can't stand that place, secondly, any kind of buffet is BAD for someone trying to lose weight!) so we had a late lunch there. I was really good. I had a salad (pretty much a cobb salad w/out meat), 1/2 a chicken breast with some skin, a small serving of red potatoes, some carrots, and a couple of chunks of mellon. He indulged but had a spinach salad instead of dessert, so I was proud of him. Spent the afternoon setting up and playing with the new printer and just hanging out around the house. I didn't exercise, as usual.

This may sound like a strange idea, but have you ever considered writing your bf a letter to tell him how you feel? I think, even if you never gave it to him, it might help you eventually express to him what you need to tell him. Or at least help you really see how the relationship makes you feel. I find that when I put things down on paper, I see more clearly what is going on in my own head.

As for the outdoor social, are you going to know anyone there? If you feel up to it, I think you should go for it! If you're not having any fun, you can always leave. I don't know if I would be confident enough to go by myself, but that's just me. Sometimes I can feel a little "phobic" being out in public alone like that. I don't think there's anything wrong with it, though.

I'm glad you met your neighbors. They sound like great people! How wonderful and lucky for you that they are so nice. I've sort of befriended the "crazy cat lady" across the hall from me. I visited with her for a few minutes tonight. She had given me a little cat bed for my kitten. I was able to snap a couple of pictures of him in it on my digital camera and printed one out for her with my new printer. She was so happy he liked it and said she'd put his picture on her fridge. She's really sweet and funny, and her place is like a cat palace, literally. She's got like 5 cat condos in her living room. I thought I was bad! ha ha...

I'm so glad our food suggestions were helpful. Let us know how your grocery shopping goes. I hope you're able to make a good effort this week with the food. I'm curious to see if it starts to help you feel a little better, in general.

I guess that's about it for me right now. Good luck with the chores tomorrow. Mike's back out to sea for the day, so I'll have some time to myself. I should make a list tonight so I don't fritter away my Saturday. Good night and hopefully talk to you both tomorrow!

Hi –
Hope you’re having good weekends. I’ve been busy cleaning and organizing – and then painting my bookshelf. You would think it’s a major project the way I’ve been talking about it, and actually it *is*. I have so little space here, and the bookshelf take up half the wall. It’s been a problem just figuring out where to put the books so that they’re out of the way (for the painting! I need the floor!). Most of them ended up under the bed.

No exercise for me today – just painting and cleaning. Which I actually count as exercise! ;)

Ang – blackberries and blueberries??? You lucky girl!!! :D Your garden sounds absolutely wonderful!
And I’m very impressed that you seek out clubs and other people to exercise with – it seems to work very well for you too, because you seem to be motivated by exercising with others. Working out 4 times in a week with biking and running sounds absolutely great – and if you also add a little weightlifting at home - you’ll probably see results fast!

I’ll see if I can dig up the bike and figure out who can fix it – maybe later this week.
Today I bought new shoes – and it was an impressive process – they actually had me jogging on a treadmill in the store to see what kind of shoes I should wear! I’m so ignorant of all of these fitness and exercise things – everything is an adventure for me! Even buying shoes to run in! ;)
It’s just what you were talking about Ang! And I got really nice shoes too! I look forward to using them Tuesday morning!

Hope you got all of your work done today Ang!
The outdoor event in Providence – it could be fun if you’re in the mood. I’m sure you’ll find people there to talk to, and there will be things to see and do? And like Jessica said: if you’re not having fun, you can leave!

Jessica – hope you’re having a good and effective Saturday too!

Jessica - I'm gald you had a nice Friday. Sometimes just relaxing is a good thing. It seems like you ate great again. Anything we can do to help with the exercise? Can you get in a walk today?

I like your idea about writing a letter to bf, Jessica. Depending on how tomorrow goes I may do that. Long story short, he never showed up at the farm today so I did not see him. When he called I told him we needed to talk. Of course he asked about what and I wouldn't tell him because he was on his way to work and was hungover. He guessed pregnant and dying (where do people get these ideas). Anyway, after we hung up I made myself more important and called him back and told him that we needed to talk about the farm and that I was not happy about what he told me last week. I'm not sure he knew what I was talking about since I was babbling, but it's a step in the right direction for me. I don't think he thought it was going to be anything bad and he didn't know what to do about it. I am hoping to get a couple of minutes of face time tomorrow before he goes to work, but I don't have any idea when we will be able to sit down one night - even though I asked he does not give me his schedule each week. Bottomline, I'm still lousy at it, but at least I am starting to speak up for myself and speak my mind. yeah!

I decided to go to the 'party' tonight. A coworker and her family are going to meet me there. I have never been in the city alone and have no idea where I am going but it will be an adventure. I just have to get out of the house and be with people. I hope it will be fun.

btw - my neighbor came by today and fixed my light switch. $7 switch instead of $100 electrician visit. Can't beat that, even if it ended up that I didn't need the new switch (it was a different problem).

mette - cleaning and painting is definitely exercise. What color are you painting the bookshelf? You can come do my wardrobe next. :lol:

I did go out and ran for 40 minutes this morning. It was really rough but I'm glad I did it. So far I had my cereal this morning and just had lunch (4pm) which was a small salad, chicken breast, and some peanutbutter on whole grain bread, ff pudding. In hindsight I could have done with the bread and pb but I thought I was still hungry. I need to work on deciding portions with my eyes and not my stomach.

mette - from your mouth to god's ears about the exercise and results. I am going to do my best to exercise 4 times a week and the weights 3 times a week. Of course I'll keep you posted and we'll see if I lose anything. Right now I'm too scared to stand on the scale to see where I am 'beginning'.

I'm so glad, mette, that you went somewhere to buy shoes where they were knowledgeable. It seems like they did all the right stuff. What brand did you get? I wear Asics. Let us know if Tuesday is pain free.

How is your day going Jessica?

I'm off to find Providence. I'll let you know all about it later or tomorrow. Enjoy the evening.

Ang

PS - so maybe quick doesn't equal short. :lol:

Hi guys,

I'm not in a terribly good mood today. It's already past 2:30 p.m. and I really haven't gotten much accomplished. I think I need to just throw on my gym gear and get out of this house! I'm doing my usual... a little bit on the computer, a little bit of cleaning, a little t.v., and really just wasting my Saturday. I've noticed that my eating gets really spotty on the weekends, as well as my water consumption. I end up feeling groggy all day. I'm sure that's part of the reason. Ok, enough typing. More action! I'm going to get my gym clothes on right now and get out of here.

Mette: thank you for the links to the sports bras. You know I took my measurements and according to what they say, I need like a 42 DD, not a 38 D like I've been wearing. Yikes!

Well, I'll drop back in when I get home. Thank you guys for the motivation!

Hi guys,

Just wanted to drop a quick note to tell you that I DID go to the gym, and I did 20 minutes of interval training cardio from the BFL routine, did some ab work and stretched. I feel SO much better. Not only do I feel like I actually accomplished something today, I feel more focused and in a much better mood. Yay! I'm going to finish up my laundry and do some more cleaning so the house is nice when Mikey gets home.

Ang: I'm so glad you got your run in today! I wish I had worked out this morning, because I think it would have made the rest of my day more enjoyable and productive. I hope you're having a great time at the "party". Let us know all about it. Maybe you'll inspire me to go out and do more things, even by myself. Are you going to get your grocery shopping in tomorrow? Best of luck with the bf. Does he have any clue that you're struggling in this relationship? He seems to be very self-involved, in my humble opinion. Maybe you need to give him a little wake-up call!

Mette: Again, thank you for the links to Champions. I called one of our local "plus size" clothing stores, thinking they may be the best place for bigger bra sizes. They only carry one kind which zips up in the front, and it's not a name brand. I need to shop around, or maybe just order online. Your painting project sounds like a lot of hard work but really fun. I love refinishing furnature although since I don't have much space either, it's difficult. My next big house project I think will be rearranging my furniture. With Mike, me and the cats, we're starting to get a little crowded and cluttered. Like I've said before, I function so much better when things are in order and clean.

Anyway, I'm off to work on the cleaning. Hope you have a great evening!

Congratulations Jessica on getting to the gym! :cb: :cp: :bravo: :jig: :dance:

I'm so glad you enjoyed it and it put you in a better mood. Remember all of this for the next time that you should go to the gym. ;)

I just got back from the 'party'. It was nice and my coworker's family was great. It was an early evening but still good to get out. They light fires right on the river and there are people walking around everywhere. There is music and dancing on the streets. Of course there are also vendors selling yummy food but I did not get any. :D

The only bad part of the evening was that this kind of thing gets me thinking and I get melancholy. It was the perfect type of night to be with a loved one. :( I think you can fill in the rest (i.e. loneliness, fear of never having a family, etc.).

I'm going to get to bed early so I can run in the morning. I have to be there at 7am! Grrr...6 miles is the plan. Yikes!

Yeah again for Jessica. Sorry to repeat, but I am just so happy for you. Now both of you have cleaned so I guess it is my turn. Hopefully I'll do a little tomorrow and some grocery shopping. Finding the time and energy to make a good list will be the potential hold up.

FYI - I wear Champion sports bras too but I am not that big up top so I don't have too much trouble buying them (36D). I'm probably more like a C but with the extra weight the D fits better. Don't get me started on breast size though - it's a touchy subject for me.

Jessica - I think bf has some clue as today I told him flat out that I was not happy with our discussion. Mostly I think he is clueless though and thinks that everything is fine for now and we will just keep going. We probably would if I didn't say anything, but we all know that I'll go crazy if I don't open my mouth. I already know what I want to tell him next time - laying it on the line in a way.

mette - how did the project go?

What are you two doing tomorrow?

Ang

Hi guys!

Ang – I really hope you get to talk to your BF tomorrow; your situation seems completely intolerable right now. And keep up your courage! Try to remember how frustrated you really are when you’re talking to him – and then speak your mind! (You go girl!)

The bookshelf is in the process of becoming white – it used to be wood color. The whole point of painting it is that it will be easier to keep clean when it’s painted instead of untreated wood. And I’ve found that white is a good color when the room is small. I’m also going through my books and VHS tapes – and try to give away the things I don’t need/want anymore.

I would love to do your wardrobe next Ang, but I’m not really sure you’ll let me! :D I’m not very good at this – and it’s kind of hard to get the paint even…. Heh. Ah, well.

Good for you that you went out running! As for the shoes I got – I ended up with adidas, these: http://www.roadrunnersports.com/cgi-bin/rrs/rrs/ProductPg.jsp?fromClearance=true&baseProdKey=RRADI743, except mine are blue (and therefore prettier!).
According to the test, I put my weight on the middle of the heel as I put my foot down, and you’re suppose to come down more on the outside of the heel. So these shoes give support and build up the inner side of the foot and heel – so that I’ll land correctly on my heel! And also, I’m over-pronating – but I don’t know what that is – it’s something about the arch of the foot needing support too. I think.
But anyhow. Let’s wait and see how it goes on Tuesday! :)

Jessica – it was so great to read your two posts! First the one where you felt lethargic and down – and then feeling so much better after you went to the gym! Like Ang says: something to remember next time you don’t want to go to the gym!

And bras – see! It *is* really important to measure properly! ;) Instead of a local plus size store, maybe you could look for a local lingerie store? You know the kind where they specialize in bras of all kinds. I know some of them are not really *cool* – and are the type where your grandmother probably would get her bras – but most of them really know about all kinds of breasts and what kind of support you’ll need. And you don’t find that in sports stores. Most of them will also carry sports bras, and I’ve found – like you did – that you don’t find that in plus size stores.

But Champion is a good brand and they have good bras. Still – I think it would be good if you went somewhere you could try different types on.

And I hear you about the crowded and cluttered – even if it’s only me living here. I want to get rid of all the stuff I don’t use or like anymore. It goes for clothes too, but I’m having a harder time letting go of my clothes that are getting too big. I think it’s my big “but what if I put the weight back on?” fear.
I just have to keep telling myself that 1) I’m not going to put it back on, and 2) even if I did I could buy new clothes. (The #2 is not really helpful since I hate to go shopping, especially when I’m big – and if I did get big again I want *these* clothes).
Hm. It doesn’t sound good, does it? It’s sort of a security blanket.

Ang – your night out in Providence sounds really nice, with the lights, river, people and music. Sorry you got sad though – it’s really saying a lot about the relationship you’re supposed to be in, doesn’t it? You have a boyfriend but you feel lonely, unloved and afraid you’ll never have a family. It's not good. And hope you're feeling better now.

Have great Sundays!

Hey guys!

I'm so irritated. I was very close to finishing my post to you and my PC froze up. Arg, I hate when that happens! Hopefully I remember everything I wrote! :mad:

Thank you both for your support with my exercising. It really does help and means a lot to me, since that's my weak point. :angel:

In all honesty, the "high" I got from the gym only lasted about two hours, and then I was down again. Sometimes I'm just like that for no particular reason. So, I just went to bed fairly early and figured, tomorrow's another day. I got up at 7 this morning, with the help of my cats hissing at each other right over my head, and hope to make the most of my Sunday. I'm thinking about having my "free day" with my food, per the BFL program. Mike's been wanting to go to "Uncle Herb's" for breakfast. It's this local, family owned restaurant that makes THE best pancakes ever. We used to eat breakfast there almost once a week. It will be harder than you think for me to "let go" with my food, since I've been so controlled. There are many logical reasons for it, and pancakes DO sound really good, so I'm going to make an effort today to eat whatever I want. Wish me luck. :p

Ang, your evening in Providence sounded beautiful. I can just imagine the water, bonfires, and music and how warm and lovely it must have been. I can relate to how it made you feel, though, considering your current relationship situation. Much like I felt at the recital about the little kids, the dull sadness of it all. Take these feelings into consideration as you prepare to talk with your bf. They are VERY important and need to be validated. Did you go out with your running group this morning? I can see how motivated you are when you exercise with a group! I would like to have a girlfriend to go to the gym with, but I also like the freedom of just doing my own thing and not having to worry about anyone else. Good luck with the grocery shopping. A list is VERY important, btw, so spend some time on it. I have saved some of my grocery lists, so I can post them, if it's helpful to you. Mind you, I always end up with too much food for the week, but it might be a good guide for what to look for at the store. A good peice of advice that I've seen about grocery shopping is to shop the perimeter of the store... that's where the "whole foods" are- meat, dairy, deli, produce, fresh bread... it helps you avoid all the processed crap in the heart of the store. And when you do need to go there, for spices, dry goods, sauces, that's where you commit to the list and only go down the isles you need to.

mette, I looked up lingerie places in the yellow pages. Not much of a selection around here. The closest one to me is a Hispanic store (the name is in Spanish), so I don't know how much luck I'd have there. Mexican owned stores in my neighborhood tend to be closed on Sundays, and chances are pretty slim that they will speak English. There's nothing wrong with that, but probably won't be a place for me to go. There are a couple about 20 minutes away from me, in Ventura, so I will call first to see if they carry sports bras. One of them is called "Aphrodite's" and also carries "leather and adult oriented toys..." Hm. Might not be the right kind of place either... :lol: lol I can relate to having trouble getting rid of your big clothes. It IS a security blanket, for sure. I bet your commitment to the process will be strenthened if you just donate that stuff and move on! I've been through that before, but unfortunately, I ended up needing all those clothes again when I put the weight back on. I'm now having a hard time cleaning out my "skinny" clothes, because I know I WILL need them again. :D Especially my "vintage" Levis, since they are hard to find and are expensive. I think that's a good security blanket, though. Are you really able to get rid of your books and tapes? Those are my two pack-rat areas, especially the books. Years ago, I worked at Barnes and Noble. You can just imagine how many books I have, and I've either read them and loved them, or plan on reading them and can't give them up! I have 2 big bookshelves, stacked 2 rows deep... I'm pretty sure it's a disorder. :dizzy: ha ha ha...

Anyway, I better post this thing before I lose it again. I hope you girls have a great Sunday. I'll check in with ya later! :)

P.S.: I measured yesterday and lost 1-1/2" from my waist and 1" from my theigh in addition to the 1-1/2" from my hips I reported before. :cb:

Jessica – congratulations on losing inches from your waist, thighs and hips! :cheer:
With this many pounds and inches gone, you must feel thinner? And see it?

Hope you’re having a great Sunday – and enjoy your food if you’re taking a free day. I’m sure it will be very good for your controlled eating to have some slack somewhere. This is one of the things I’ve been working on with my eating too – having just 2 modes: on or off, controlled or out of control. In that way I think the BFL thinking is really good – because you can experience eating what you normally only eat when you’re out of control, but while it’s part of the program, and what you’re supposed to do.

And I know you weren’t talking to me – but I’m all for posting of grocery lists! ;)

And the bras – heh – it could be interesting to work out in bras from the shop that carries "leather and adult oriented toys..."! But hopefully you’ll find a good store with sports bras.

As for getting rid of stuff. Yeah - I think I’m putting the clothes in storage for a couple of months. I’m doing it in steps. Now they’ve gone out of the closet and into storage. Next time they’ll go from storage to Goodwill.
I can totally understand that you’re not getting rid of your Levis! Of course you will need them again! :D
And yes, I’m trying to get rid of the tapes and books I never really liked or watched/read that much – tapes and books which I’ll probably not read/watch again. But – you know – it *is* hard!
(oooh – you worked at Barnes and Noble???? You lucky girl!!!) If collecting books is a disease, there sure are a lot of us that are inflicted! I’m really working hard to keep mine under control!

Let’s see. I have one question about protein bars – have either of you ever tried Optimum Nutrition Diet Protein Bar? 5 flavors. About 180 calories, no sugar, 19-20 grams of protein and 20 grams of carbs? They sound very good – I just wondered if anyone had tasted them, and if they taste good too.

OK. That’s all from me right now. How are your Sundays going?

Hi Mette,

Mike and I are back from breakfast and running some errands. We went to Mervyns and I bought this sports bra: http://www.championcatalog.com/cgi-bin/ncommerce/ProductDisplay?prnbr=CH1018&prmenbr=631&cgrfnbr=74708&V=B I have another just like it, but it's much smaller than this one. I can't wait to try it out tomorrow! Thanks again for the assistance.

Ok, think of this as more of an "authorized food" list, rather than a shopping list because like I said, I tend to buy WAY too much for one week and I'm putting stuff from multiple lists here. Some are dry goods that you can buy and just keep around in case you need it:

Dairy:
eggs
egg substitute
1% or nf milk
1/2 and 1/2 (for my coffee)
butter
"I can't believe it's not butter" spray
lf/nf cottage cheese
hard parmesean cheese
shredded lf cheese
nf plain yogurt
nf fruit flavored yogurt
string cheese
nf cream cheese
crumbled blue cheese
hummus

Meat/poultry:
fresh salmon
smoked salmon
lean ground beef
ground turkey breast
deli style sliced turkey
deli style sliced roast beef
steak
chicken breasts
turkey bacon
tuna (in water, pouches are best)
shrimp

Produce:
garlic
white and red onions
tomatoes
bell peppers, red and green
yellow squash
eggplant
string beans
broccoli
fresh and frozen spinach
green onion
cucumber
carrots
zucchini
cabbage
mushrooms
apples
oranges
bananas
frozen berries
cantaloupe
potatoes
sweet potatoes

Misc/dry goods:
low carb tomato sauce
lite soy sauce
canned olives
olive oil
canola oil
Pam cooking spray
red wine vinegar
rice vinegar
Splenda
garlic powder
bacon bits
iced tea mix/bags
natural peanut butter
ww tortillas and/or pitas
ww bread
ww english muffins
egg noodles (No Yolk)
ww pasta
rolled or steel cut oats oatmeal
high fiber cereal
sf/ff Jello pudding mix
protein powder

Granted, a lot of this is if you're willing and able to cook lunch and dinner. I know it seems a bit extensive. These are things that typically show up on my grocery list on a regular basis, so my fridge tends to be stocked with about 1/2 of it at all times. It's nice to be surrounded by wonderful food, then I can't help but eat healthy, even if I were to find myself grazing in the fridge.

So are you guys ready to start the weightlifting challenge this week? I'm doing legs tomorrow. My hope is to get up early before work and go. We'll see how early I get to bed tonight. I want us all to vow to do our very best this week, follow our plans exactly, to see if we can do it. That will give us dedication and confidence to tackle next week, and so on.

Talk to you later!

Hi Ladies - one day and I'm so far behind in reading posts. :dizzy:

mette - I am sure your bookcase is looking great. I think cleaning up is a great thing too. Sometimes when we organize our stuff it helps us focus in our lives. I think this works in the opposite direction too though, at least for me so I end up spending a lot of time picking up after myself. :lol:

Good luck with the shoes, mette. I understand that stuff if you really want to know what pronation is and all. That is part of what I do for a living, analyze gait. :) Of course, the bottomline is that you are comfortable, regardless of what they say about your gait style.

Jessica - I'm sorry your high only lasted for 2 hours, but at least you had the 2 hours. Try to see the positive side of it. Maybe there will be a cumulative effect as you go more often to workout the high will last longer. :) Congratulations on the inches lost. You deserve it. :dancer: :cheer:

I did made it out with my running club this morning. When my alarm went off I jumped out of bed and refused to think about what I was doing. I knew if I did I would go back to bed. I was so tired and don't like getting up before 7am on a Sunday. I ran/walked 6.25 miles and then came home and took a nap. I went to the farm to see Craig, he didn't show so I came home. It started to rain and I don't have the motivation to get wet and work hard for him these days. I went and watched a movie instead and then went to the market. Jessica - I usually buy most stuff in the produce section. I didn't have a great list today but thank you for all of the great info so I can keep working on my list. You gave me exactly what I needed. I think I stock up on staples to keep in the house and just add a little bit each week. I never really bought the necessities when I moved in to the house. I have found that I have a little more food in the house lately, which I guess is good. I did let myself get hungry and emotions got the best of me and I bought some bad foods. I ate part of them when I got home and then through the rest of it out. I figured one day of crappy eating was enough. If I throw it out than I can't eat it tomorrow. I know I do this everyday, but tomorrow is another day and a new beginning. Focusing on the exercise and just trying not to beat myself up about the eating too much. I did buy enough stuff to have my cereal for breakfast (and bought waffles for a treat) and the lunch I was telling you about. We'll see how that goes this week.

Sorry mette but never tried the protein bars you mentioned. I am still trying to find a good protein powder and flax seed meal to add to my diet. I think I am going to have to go to the health food store. I bought two protein bars that were low carb. I think they are the Atkins bars - too lazy to go Downstairs and check. They were on sale so I decided to give them a whirl. They are about 200 cals which doesn't make me happy if I eat them as a snack. Should I be worrying about that at all? I was thinking at about 4pm so I'm not so hungry for dinner. mette - where did you see your bars? Someone recommended the Zone bars - have either of you tried those?

I promise to do my best with the weights. I am going to try the upper body tomorrow because it seems like it should be easier and more familiar. I want to start as easy as possible. I also hope to run or bike after work. I really want to try and get some activity in every day and something structured at least 4 to 5 times a week (this counts extensive gardening or cleaning). :D

Jessica - do you feel better about your Sunday as opposed to your Saturday? How do you feel about eating whatever you wanted? Did you actually let yourself indulge a little?

mette - did you finish your painting project?

Goodnight!

Hi there!

Not only did I let myself indulge a little, I had several of my favorites today! Breakfast was pancakes, hash browns, corned beef hash and eggs. Mind you, I only ate a very small portion of each of these, because I just can't binge eat like I used to. My stomach has adjusted to small portions, I think. Is that possible? Lunch was a Nestle Crunch ice cream bar at about 4 p.m. while I had my car washed. Dinner was a chili cheese hot dog, a chocolate malt and a couple of onion rings. I never really felt "sick" but my stiff neck and plugged ears and stuffy nose that I used to get all the time came back today. Almost like I'm starting to get the flu. I haven't felt like that since I started my weight loss. Could that be caused by what I ate? Hmmm...

Ang, good for you with the shopping. And the fact that you thew the "bad food" away, well that just shows your maturity and dedication to what you're trying to accomplish here. I'm also so glad you went running. You should be very proud of yourself! That's what I'll do tomorrow morning- get up and don't think about it. Just do it. (insert Nike logo here... ha ha ha...)

I did feel much better about my day today. We were out of the house by 9:45 a.m., had our big breakfast, went shopping and came home. Mike and I took about an hour nap this afternoon (the food as well, I think) and then I got my car washed, visited with my grandparents for about an hour, and with my parents for an hour as well. I did a lot that I was hoping to accomplish this weekend. I didn't make it grocery shopping but I don't have much to get so I'll probably go after work tomorrow.

mette: I also over-pronate. I think it usually happens to people with high arches. I blame mine on my knee injury and not going to rehab for it. I think I compensated and now I just walk/run that way. Might also be a cause of my foot pain. Let us know how the new shoes work out.

I've never tried any of the meal bars mentioned. "Pure Protein" is a good one taste wise, and has like 35 g of protein. Lots of sugar though. I also have "Carb solutions" which taste pretty awful, but I bought a whole box so I'm making myself get used to them. Sorry I can't give more advice on the subject.

I'm going to try to get to bed by 9 p.m. tonight, so I'll be rested enough to get up and go lift weights before work, so I'm going to wrap it up. Good luck to both of you for this week and have a great Monday!

So. I’ve lost another pound *and* I’m down in the one-eighties! Yey!

Jessica – the bra looks great! Eagerly awaiting report on how it affects your workout… ;)
Your food list looks very impressive – some good ideas I picked up: I think I’ll try some blue cheese and see if I like it (I have tried it before and not liked it). And some vegetables I’m not usually buying (squash, zucchini, eggplant – what do you use them for? Stews and casseroles mostly?). And olives – black olives for salads! Haven’t had those in a while either. Thanks for good ideas.

And yes – I’m ready for the weightlifting challenge! I’m doing my full-body program at home for Monday. Then gym Wednesday and Friday – which I’ll know more about later. Best of luck on getting up and going to the gym before work, Jessica!

Ang – I do want to know what pronation is! It has something to do with the arch of the foot, right?
Congratulations on getting out running in the morning! (And OMG, I’m dead impressed that you actually run 6.25 miles!) That is so great!

I asked about the protein bars in the “ladies who lift” forum too – but nobody seems to have heard about them. I too am looking for snacks that are protein based – all the things I get cravings for are sweet and fat stuff – so I thought a bar I really liked would be good.
Is 200 calories much for a snack? I don’t think so, and I think they would be a good afternoon snack to keep you from getting too hungry. I haven’t tried the Zone or the Atkins bars. Not the Pure Protein or Carb Solution bars either – and I’m looking for one without the sugar. I think I’ll try the ON Diet Protein bars, and then tell you guys about it later… ;)
I’ve found that it’s always good to learn of other peoples favorites when trying out something you know nothing about!

As for my paint project – I actually ran out of paint, and have to get some more and continue Monday. But you know what? It doesn’t matter. Do you know why? I’m on vacation!!! :lol:

Jessica – your Sunday eating sounds very yummy! And I too would think you’ve adjusted to smaller portions. How weird that you felt a little ‘sick’ – do you still connect it to what you ate? Do you think you’re allergic to any of the things you ate Sunday?

Ah well. Have a good Monday everybody!

Morning gals!

:jig: :cb: :dancer: Yay, Mette! One more pound down!!!! Woo Hoo!!!! :dancer: :cb: :jig: :bravo:

It's 5:15 a.m. and I'm up having my cup of coffee, getting ready to head to the gym. It will be interesting to see if I have more or less energy today after working out this morning. Heck, I'm just proud of myself that I'm actually UP this early! It helped that the cat was bugging again this morning and Mike got up at about a quarter to 5. His back was bothering him too and couldn't sleep. So, everyone's up and milling about!

mette: I actually steam, saute or roast the zucchini and squash, and the eggplant can be baked in the oven. I have a couple of recipes, one with eggplant, squash and tomatoes kind of covered in cheese and baked, the other is a "cabbage lasagna" that I've made before (where you use cabbage leaves instead of pasta) and I thought sliced eggplant would do nicely instead. I'll let you know if I try it. The zucchini and squash are really good sauted in a little olive oil, salt, pepper, with sliced onions. Yum... The blue cheese I sprinkle on salads to give them more of a kick, because oil and vinegar dressing gets a little boring.

My stomach is pretty unhappy this morning because of all the crap I ate yesterday. I think that's a good sign though and look forward to getting back to my normal eating today. The food I ate must have contributed to my achy "flu" feeling. I'd gotten plenty of sleep and don't feel like that this morning. Maybe it was all the white flour or the sugar? Hard to say. Maybe my next free day I will cut out one of those and see what happens. Do a little experiment on myself to narrow it down. I know the ice cream bar I hate had all kinds of partially hydrogenated this and that, and coconut oil, all of which is really bad for you. It sure tasted good though! ha ha...

I, too, am REALLY impressed that Ang ran/walked over 6 miles! You guys are both doing so great!! I'm so proud to be a part of this group!

I know it seems a little silly, but I started an online web journal (a "blog") where I'm going to write daily, keep track of my workouts and menus, and generally just write freely and rant about life and my weightloss. If you want to check it out, the link is: http://www.motivatedslacker.blogspot.com
It's a good place for me to explore all of my "issues" regarding this process, and maybe help someone on their journey too. Let me know if you check it out. I don't know if anyone will ever read it, but it's more for me anyway.

Ok, time to get off my butt and get to the gym. I hope you ladies have a wonderful Monday!

I’ll just be quick – I’m on my way out. First: Jessica you’re amazing! Getting up at 5:15 to go to the gym!!! Wow! How was it? Did you like working out that early in the morning?

When you’re sautéing vegetables like zucchini and squash – what do you actually do? (Yes, I really am that ignorant when it comes to cooking! :D) It has obviously something to do with olive oil. Can you explain the process for me?

Sorry your stomach still feels like crap, did it get better? Experimenting to finding out exactly what caused it sounds very smart.
And I read your blog! How clever of you! I’ve both bookmarked it and written a comment. It looks really good Jessica, and so does your photo! I’m sure it’ll be a good place for exploring the process. Sounds like a good idea.

OK. I’m off. Where are you today, Ang?

Hey guys, just peeking in! (Whoa, I almost mispelled that as I had forgot the k, that would have been embarrasing!) Anyway, Jessica told me to come check ya out, since I've been chatting it up with her and Ang. :P So here I am. Work is almost over and I need to get out of here (crazy bad day, boss is out in hawaii, missing a rep and our office manager didn't show) but I promise to check in and stuff later. (And actually read through all the posts too... >.<)

Edit: Ok back now. Really tired I think from the work stress. But hey! This sports bra topic has me piqued! I can never find a good one. Though, I also strongly dislike underwire, I can't wear it at all because it rests on my ribs so uncomfortably. Anyway. :p

I got new shoes, which are/were going to be for everyday normal wear and use, but since they running shoes, I guess I can do that too! I hope this link works... er, and it didn't. Anyway they are New Balance 991 -grey in color, super comfy. I haven't tried running yet though, I am so scared!!

I did take an 8mile bike ride on Sunday though, through a forest preserve that was all marshlands and prairie and had a lot of elevation changes. Oof! My bottom is mad at me. My muscles don't hurt, but my hmm, butt bones do?

So how was getting up early to exercise? I am so tempted to get up and try running tomorrow, but I just don't have faith in myself to pull myself out of bed. I love sleeping almost as much as I love food!

Sounds like you ladies are doing great on a lot of things, and it's really encouraging to me! Keep up the great work on everything. I am gonna go pass out now... because I keep forgetting what I was just about to write haha.

-Renee

Hi Everyone,

Sorry I was gone today but with my afternoons taken up by my experiment the morning seems to fly by and I stilll never get anything done it seems. Unfortunately I don't get up early enough to e-mail in the morning so if I don't have time at work you miss me (and I miss you). ;)

Gotta get to bed but want to tell you both that you are doing great and I will catch up as best I can tomorrow. I do want to read your blog Jessica. Also, I'd love to hear anything about cooking too as I am pretty ignorant also.

Jessica - how was the workout? I am glad you were able to enjoy your day of eating. It is amazing how the food we eat affects us though. I am just starting to put things together about the food I eat and how it makes me feel physically afterwards. My problem is trying to remember the feeling before I start eating the 'bad stuff'.

Today wasn't a bad day for eating. I had my breakfast and lunch as planned (yogurt tasted terrible and did not bring enough chicken but...), protein bar at 4:30ish and then a salad for dinner with one slice of bread with a little natural pb. This was a good eating day for me.

Congratulations mette on losing another pound!!!! You are so lucky that you are on vacation. Were you able to finish painting today? I had to buy more paint when I painted my office too. It is amazing how much paint wood can soak up.

Just a note - I put some squash out yesterday as a fluke because there were a lot getting too big on the plants and so I picked them. Soemone actually came by and bought them! There were more today (squash grow really fast) so I picked them too and put them out. Who knows if they'll sell too but it was kind of neat to have decided to pick on my own and price them and everything. The ones I picked today were a little smaller (people don't know that that is really better though) so I dropped the price. I don't get the money so what do I care. I just like the feeling when they sell.

Glad to see you lilwolfe. I was wondering where you had gone.

Have a good night. Ang

Hi girls!

Hope everyone had a good Monday. I am soooo tired! Definitely not used to waking up at 5 a.m., but it was worth it. Felt really good to know I got my exercising done for the day first thing. Work was a bear as well. One of our permit techs (that's my position) is on vacation for two weeks, and for some reason, more than half our staff was gone today, either vacation or out sick. So needless to say, it was a trying day. No screamers though, so I was thankful for that!

Ang, so nice to know everything's ok. Your eating looked really great! You should feel VERY good about that. Sorry work was so busy. Seems to be something in the air...

Hi Renee! Thanks for stopping by. Ladies, Renee started posting about a week or two ago. She's just starting this whole weight loss thing and is working on finding some focus for her eating and exercising. I thought you girls might be just the ticket to support her, since you're just so great yourselves!

mette: thank you so much for visiting my blog and making the very first comment! I really appreciated the note and the fact that you read it. I'm going to try to make an entry every day, so there will always be something new to read. I love writing, so I'll keep it as entertaining as possible.

Working out early was great for a couple of different reasons. I DID have more energy at work for the first few hours, but the intense day I had just drained it all away. Also, there is virtually NO ONE at my gym before 7 a.m. I had the women's section all to myself. It was great. Also, like I mentioned, it was nice to feel like I'd already accomplished something, and didn't have the gym looming over my head all day like, one more thing I have to do today. I'm going to do my best to keep it up this week and see how it works out. I have a late meeting Thursday night, so that might make for a very long day.

The way I saute my veggies is to put about a tbsp. of olive oil in a large skillet and let it warm up for just a minute (don't let it get too hot- it will burn and the oil will splatter when you add the veggies). Then just add whatever veggies, maybe onions, zucchini and yellow squash, cubed, to the oil. Stirring occassionally, let the onions begin to brown slightly. Some garlic, salt and pepper would be a nice touch too. Let me know if you try it!

Anyway, I'm going to start getting ready for bed... Yawn! Talk to you all in the morning!

Good morning all!

Jessica - good job again on getting up early to workout. I wish I could do that. How did your new bra work out? Neat blog. You are very couragous to go through this journey and to be willing to post for others to see. Everyday I take a little inspiration from you (and others here). I hope it helps you with your exploration. :)

mette - pronation has to do with how you put your foot down on the ground and then which way it rotates. Some rotation is necessary when walking but if you over pronate you are rotating too far towards your body. Your foot continues to rotate and you put more pressure on your arch (inside of foot) and the outside of your foot 'comes up'. It doesn't actually lift off the ground but you do put less weight on it (not evenly distributed weight over the foot). OK, describing this in words isn't as easy as I thought. Did this make sense? You should have extra support around the arch from your shoes.

Renee - you snuck in your edits. :lol: I almost missed them since I had posted after you. I think it's great that you got the New Balance shoes. I wouldn't recommend that you wear them around for everyday use though if you are going to run in them. Congratulations on the bike ride. Was it off road using a mountain bike? I love to bike and wish I made time to do it more often. What scares you about running? Maybe we can help ease your mind.

Have a great Tuesday. Ang

Good morning!

Well, I'm sorry to say, but I was so tired from yesterday I didn't get up early this morning. No work out. Since my new cardio workout is only 20 minutes, I'm thinking I can go walking/running after work. Then I don't have the drive time to the gym and I get in my exercise. There's actually a dirt track very close to my house, I just remembered I used to run there. Maybe I'll head there, since pavement isn't very forgiving. Since the weightlifting takes about 45 minutes, I will make every effort to get up tomorrow and go before work. My legs are so sore from lifting yesterday! I'm waddling around like a penguin. I'll let you all know how I do tonight.

Mette: Are you meeting with your trainer today? Did you buy your cute gym clothes? I hope it goes really well for you.

Ang: You're just as brave as I am. You're posting here, and that's probably viewed by more people than my journal! I'm glad I can help inspire you, though. You guys certainly motivate me every day. Since I only did lifting yesterday, I didn't get to fully test out the bra. But it was very comfortable and actually fit. I didn't have big red marks on my back when I got home, like I do from my others that are too small.

Renee, I have New Balance shoes, too. I really like them, although with the recent discussion about the shelf life of running shoes, I should probably look into getting a new pair. I had Nike's before these, and they just weren't the right shoes for my walking and running style. The sports bra I got was a Champion brand, I think I posted a link to it to mette earlier in our thread. When I do my cardio tonight I'll have a better idea of how effective it is.

I feel a little bad about breaking my promise to myself about getting up early, but, exhausted is exhausted, and I still need to be flexible with myself as I adjust to all these new routines in my life. I hope we all have a good day today and stay true to ourselves!

*yaaawn -stretch* Yeah, there is no way I could ever get up early to exercise or anything hehe. Hit snooze as it was, and I was even in bed early - course I had some funky weird dreams about being a chick with a sword, and then timewarped to some rave club. Odd.

So hurried out of the house, running late and still dreary-groggy. I was naughty and ran through the McDonalds drive through for a #8 (breakfast burritos) but at least passed the hashbrown off to a coworker. (They make me sick.) I -might- go skating at lunch, but if the humidity continues to climb like it is now, I doubt it. It's just so sticky/clammy out! (Hot too)

For lunch I am planning to be good and eat my sandwich, and stringcheese. Then have my fruit as my afternoon snack. I found this really great bread (if you are a picky bread person) It's BrownBerrys Carb Counting multigrain. It is soft and sweet!! Which is just great for me because I can't stand hard, bitter bread. So that, with some fat free mayo, fat free bologna and fat free cheese. Voila. A nice little pick me up.

So how come it's not a good idea to use my everyday shoes as running shoes as well? I am pretty broke after buying them and don't think I can afford to get a second pair for a while. >.< (They cost $130 - that was more than I've paid in the last two years TOTAL for shoes haha.) And as to why I am scared of running, well, I just get out of breath SO fast when I jog, that I think I will get really upset about it. I don't know if I could even jog for 60 seconds without having to stop!!

The bike ride was on a mountain bike, but not really 'off road' - it was on a gravel trail (which is at least more work than pavement) and it had a lot of squiggles, turns and elevation changes. And, well, biking around 180 lbs is a lot more work than I remember biking 130 lbs around being - hee.

I am skipping dinner at home tonight, so I am thinking that I will eat my Slimfast Mac-n-Cheese before leaving work. Then snack on something healthy later. Maybe an angel food cupcake with some berries on it.

Check in with you ladies later! And thanks again for the invite here. :)

I feel a little bad about breaking my promise to myself about getting up early, but, exhausted is exhausted, and I still need to be flexible with myself as I adjust to all these new routines in my life. I hope we all have a good day today and stay true to ourselves!

Jessica - don't fall into the same trap that got you last time you got really into exercising. You can't just jump in with both feet. You also don't want to injure yourself. Take it slow and maybe have a goal of going to the gym before work 2 or 3 days a week for a couple of weeks (or forever if that's what works). I think going to the dirt track sounds like a great idea. It's good to mix things up also. Please don't feel bad about not getting up this morning. You did awesome yesterday and you'll do it again. Don't be so hard on yourself - you are only human after all. :D

Renee - your bike ride sounds great. I can't do the really hard mountain biking either. It's nice to get off road sometimes though. I feel safer on the road when I have to be by myself though.

The reason why I don't suggest that you wear your running shoes all the time is because they are so expensive. Depending on how much you run, you can replace the runners every 6 months (I don't remember the mileage amount but when they wear out you'll know it and will need new ones to prevent injury - just ask mette :) ) - at this time you can demote them to everyday shoes. If you wear them all the time they will wear out even faster and thus the need to replace them comes more quickly. You can buy almost anything (cheap) to wear everyday just around. Just my two cents though. :dizzy:

Last running comment for now - take it really slowly. If you don't think you can run 60 seconds then go with the routine of running 30 seconds at a time. You need to get some positive reinforcement so go beneath what you expect by a little as you begin. Do you have a routine? You can try something like this:

walk 10 minutes
run 30 seconds then walk 2 minutes (repeat 4 times)
walk 10 minutes

I'm happy to give as much or as little advice on this as you want. Just tell me to shut up if I get into it too much. :o

Ang

Oy. Suddenly there were *many* new posts. Sorry about that. Nice weather here and I’m on vacation and ditching the computer. ;)

Renee – hi and welcome! Looks like you’re going to fit right in here!
As for running – I jog for about 30 minutes two mornings of the week – and I started off with mostly walking and then gradually jogged more and more. I still walk some parts of my route. I start off with a (brisk) walk to the park, and then start jogging there.
Do you have any good places to run? Ang’s plan for starting looks very good.

Ang – glad to hear you had a good eating day yesterday! And selling your squash! How great is that! :cp:
Thanks for the information about pronation – it sounds about right when you say it, it was something like that the guy in the store said too. The shoes I bought had both extra support around the arch – like you’re saying. And also more support on the inner side of the heel – when I first put the shoe on it felt a bit weird. As if the inside of the foot was build up and my foot was tilting outward a little – if that makes sense.
But I had my first jog this morning, and even if I’ll have to get used to the shoes (they still feel a bit different, but not in a bad way or anything – just different) – it was a really excellent jog! And I had absolutely no pain anywhere! The weather was nice, the park looked good, the grass was newly cut and smelled sweet, the birds were singing, etc etc. And I was just so happy that I felt good and thought about how I (hopefully) can continue jogging for a long time! Very good start on my day! :D

Jessica – understandable that you were tired at work after your early morning weightlifting (and getting up at 5)! And yes, it sounds really nice that the gym was empty. But was your plan to get up at 5 every day this week? In that case I totally agree with Ang: it might be better to try with just a couple of early mornings a week first, and see how it goes. Maybe early mornings for the weightlifting and doing the cardio on the afternoon, just like you’re saying. And no wonder you are sore today if you lifted weights for 45 minutes yesterday. Most impressive! :cp:
About your blog – I really liked it, and I am looking forward to continue reading it. The sautéing sounds like something I would enjoy – spicy vegetables and oil. I’ll try and let you know.

Now. What else is new? I finished up with the painting and the shelves are now dry, and I'm sorting through my books to see which I'll keep. But today I ditched the whole organizing thing and went out to enjoy the nice weather in the park instead. :p

But I went to the gym and met with the instructor. He was very nice. I told him what I was after and he made up a program for me for 3 times a week. I’m going to continue to lift weights Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I’ll have one day with lower body, one day with upper body and one day with a combination. We talked about doing a full 3 day split, but he said that if I'm only exercising a muscle once a week – I would also have to exercise it very hard to get stronger. So maybe I'll see how this goes, and try that later.
I will do this program for 3 months, and then we’ll get together again and make a new one. It all seems very good to me.
I’m really psyched to start! Tomorrow I will do lower body. Yey!

And yes, I got some cute clothes. I’ve got a couple of trousers, one grey and one light blue (no black or marine in sight!) and a couple of sweaters and T-shirts. And everything *fit*. I bought L, because I can actually wear L – I don’t have to wear XL or XXL, which I’ve been known to buy just for the comfort!

I’ll stop now. Talk to you guys later. Have a nice Tuesday.

Hi ladies,

Just home for lunch and checking in. Yeah, I was hoping to stick to an early morning routine this week, but Ang and Mette, I think you're right. It's that all or nothing mentality that burned me out before, so I'll take it easy on myself. Still planning on going to the track tonight for my cardio. I'll have some time after work tomorrow to do my upper-body weights, so I'll go easy on the "gung-ho!" attitude of pushing myself too hard.

Mette, your meeting with your instructor sounds like it went really well! I'm excited for you and can't wait to hear about how your new work-out routine goes. The weights yesterday took about 1/2 hour, and then I did lots of stretching afterwords, since one of my goals is to work on my flexibility too. It works out to about 45 minutes. The upper body takes slightly longer for me, since there are more specific muscles to work. I really enjoy it though, so it doesn't feel like work to me. You sound like you're having such a nice vacation. Maybe I need to take some time off, just stay home and get things done that I need to do, have a little "me" time. A little relaxation sounds really good about now!

Ang, thank you for the supportive words, it really helps me put things in perspective. I think your knowledge of all-things-running will be really useful to all of us and I encourage you to give us your advice whenever you want to give it! I will probably do a combination of walking/running at the track tonight but won't push it because I get pretty winded too and I need to be careful with my knees, too.

Renee, your menu for today doesn't sound that bad. Good for you. Do you have plans after work that will keep you from eating dinner? I can also relate to loving to sleep! I'm becoming much more of a morning person, but it does take some willpower on some days to not sleep in (especially weekends). Just do what feels comfortable and work around your schedule. You're doing great.

Today has been a MUCH better day than yesterday. I'm not feeling nearly as stressed out, which is a relief. Most of our staff is back, so I've been able to focus on MY job, not worry about doing everyone else's job too. Whew! Anyway, I'll check in tonight if I have a chance.

Hi!

Jessica – this ‘gung ho!’ thing of pressing yourself too hard? It’s really one of the most difficult things for me too. See my first challenge under.
Good to hear work is better and less stressful. And I really recommend some free time at home! ;)

I have been thinking about the gym a lot lately. About what I’m looking forward to, and what I’m dreading. There are some things about that place that I have to confront – some obstacles I will have to deal with.

The first challenge is my “all or nothing” drive – what Jessica calls “gung-ho!” attitude. According to my program I’m not going to add pounds on the weights I’m lifting for the first 4 weeks. The first 4 weeks will be my introduction period, where I’ll learn how to do the exercises properly (with good form!) and my body will adapt to this way of exercising. I’m not doing many exercises each time (5), and with 12 minutes cardio warm-up and 10 minutes ab crunches & stretching after, I’m done in maybe 45-50 minutes total.
And this sounds very reasonable, doesn’t it? Start slowly, get in to the rhythm, see how it feels - - -
But my drive when I’m at the gym? To increase weight, to increase exercises, to increase time – to spend 2 hours there and be completely exhausted when I leave.
So my first challenge is to be patient. It’s the one thing that I know works for me: slowly and surely. I know it works for me when it comes to eating and losing weight, now I have to learn that it also works for me in the gym.

The second challenge is the mirrors. *sigh* I’m frickin’ EVERYWHERE in that room! No matter where I look: there I am!
I have to get used to the mirrors. I have to get used to looking at myself in the mirror in a room full of guys and *not be embarrassed* that I’m looking at myself, and that others can see that I’m looking at myself. I have no idea why this is so embarrassing though – is it that I don’t want to appear vain? Anyway, it’s not an option at the gym not to look at myself in the mirrors – so I have to get over that one.

The third challenge is the guys lifting weights there. For some reason it’s always frightening for me to join groups of people I don’t know when I’m not welcomed with open arms, especially when I’m new to what’s being done in the group, it means that I don’t know the rules and norms, and being a newbie sucks.
This goes for the weightlifting room at the gym! They’re really not the most inviting and welcoming bunch on first sight – actually they look a bit scary, if I’m completely honest.
Now. I know that they’re probably nice guys, and that – given time – I’ll get to know some of them, get help if I ask and have people there to talk with too.
It’s just that I have to get through the first period of social anxiety and ineptness first! So that’s my third challenge of going to the gym.

I actually feel much better about all three now that I’ve written them down! :lol:

So, how are you doing today?

Mette,

That was a really great post; thank you so much for sharing your fears about the gym. I think we've all experienced/are going through similar feelings of insecurity not only at the gym, but in all areas of this process. In fact, when I first started buying healthy food at the grocery store, I had this feeling that the clerk would think I was a poor fat girl probably trying to lose weight AGAIN and would feel sorry for me when she rang up my groceries. How silly is that? Now, I'm proud of the fact that most of the clerks have to look up my produce in a book, because I buy veggies that most people don't buy and they don't know what/how much they are. It's a matter of getting comfortable with yourself, knowing without a doubt that what you're doing is what you planned to do and you're doing everything properly, and focusing on and gaining strength from that.

As far as being intimidated by the guys. I'm still going through that now, which is why I quarentine myself in the women's only section. But you know what? I think as part of my Pact with you, I will branch out into the main gym the next time I lift weights. They have better equipment and more room to work in, so why should I deprive myself out of fear or embarrasment?

To be honest, I know that the "big guys" out there may be intimidating, but there are several issues that might ease your fears: 1) Most of them REALLY are so self-absorbed, they really won't pay much attention to you; 2) Form is everything, like Krista says. If you go in there and use proper form and have a plan for your routine, you will earn their respect and they will be more impressed by you than critical. You may even get some compliments! 3) You will eventually become "the cool girl" when you become a regular and start showing progress. Again, you will not only respect yourself for the progress you've made, I think you'll make some lifting buddies, too.

How do we get out of the trap of killing ourselves at the gym? You and I are very similar in that way- 110% or nothing. There has to be a "happy medium" somewhere, where we push ourselves just past the level of comfort but don't work so hard it either becomes an unpleasant experience or we end up injured. Did your trainer have a reason for having you not increase your weight for 4 weeks? Is it to focus on your form? I guess that does make sense, since that's so important. Let me know if you come up with some good "scripts" to tell yourself while you're working out to keep yourself from going overboard. I'm still struggling with that. At least you have a solid routine to work with. Pretend that routine is like a prescription from your doctor that has to be followed to a "T"; maybe that will keep you focused.

And the mirrors. Yes, those are unavoidable, aren't they??! I think we've been conditioned, as women and being overweight, to not be vain, and to disdain our own image. Perhaps as you start out, you can think about it in more scientific terms, that you must be able to see your "form" to make sure you are performing the exercises right so you don't hurt yourself, not actually looking at you. It sounds silly, but as you start losing weight and gaining muscle, I promise, you will LOVE watching those muscles flex and seeing how far you've come!

Just know that through it all, we'll be here to support you and give advice when you need it. You are making so much progress, and exploring all of these feelings will give you even more of a edge in the gym. I know you'll do great!

With that said, I opted to do my grocery shopping last night instead of going to the track. Mike had to leave for work at 11 p.m. last night and won't be back until Friday night/Saturday morning, so I wanted to spend some time with him. And I noticed my eating the last two days was less than perfect, since I've been out of certain things I needed for my menu. I hate to keep saying I'm going to do something and then not do it, but I'm still trying to adjust and use my time the best way I can. My intention is to do some form of exercise tonight, but I want to just DO IT today instead of talk about it. I'll let you know if I make it.

I have to get ready for work, so I'll talk to you guys later. Thanks again for your post, Mette, and I hope I helped a little.

Have a great Wednesday, everyone!

Hi Everyone.

Renee - how did everything go last night? Were you able to stick with your eating plan?

Jessica - Were you able to get to the track? A combination of running and walking is the way to do, especially at the beginning. When/if you ready you can keep track of how much time you do each and slowly try to increase the running. Bottomline - if it works for you then go for it!

I am glad that work was not as stressful yesterday and you could concentrate on the things you needed to do. Do you have any vacation time coming? I really want to take some time to relax but can't while I am running my experiment. :( The summer doesn't have enough holidays. Maybe we should make our own. :D

mette - It sounds likeyou are really enjoying your vacation and that is great. You deserved to enjoy the outdoors yesterday, particularly after completing a big house project. Were you able to part with many books?

I am glad the shoes helped relieve your pain and that you had such a great run. It sounds wonderful. I went to my track workout last night but only ran about 2 miles max. There were a lot of reason why it was such a bad day for me, but one of the two main problems was that I was in a bad place mentally and when I started to run I was flooded with emotion and just had to stop. I don't think I'll get in any exercise today :( , except maybe some work at the garden. next run will be tomorrow and hopefully my head will be in the right place. My eating was ok yesterday though.

Breakfast: cereal
Snack: peanuts
Lunch: 2 slices bread (Arnold's Health Nut), 2 ounces chicken breast sliced, 2 slice lf swiss cheese, 10 mini carrots, banana
Snack: protein bar (these things really do help - I am going to have to buy more - I just wish they weren't that expensive)
Dinner: Salad (lettuce, dried cranberries, gorgonzola cheese, 2 slices turkey breast, sliced almonds, ff vinegrette dressing)
*I think that was all for dinner but my memory stinks so who knows :lol: )
Dessert (after running at friends): variety of berries with lite whipped cream and one reduced fat oreo

Tonight I am having Chinese out with bf's mother (don't ask) so I will try to make a reasonable choice because I know Chinese is not the best food when bought out - so much sodium too.


mette - I am so excited for regarding your new workout routine at the gym. Your attitude seems great. I am envious and have it written down to find out the details of joining my gym. I think talking with the instructor was a great idea. It must be nice to know you are doing things right and following a plan that was made just for you. Remember that your instructor knows more than you and that this plan will be best for you - so don't increase anything too fast. :D I can't wait to hear how the actual workout goes. I also think identifying your challenges was great. I think I would have some of the same issues but can only hope that given a little time to just get used to the situation you will not have to worry about them anymore. My guess is that as you focus on the actual workout you will not have the time to worry about others in the room. Let us know how it goes.

Wow - I have procrastinated way too much and have to get some work done. I don't like not being accountable to anyone at work. My bad moods have made me waste too much time at work and things are suffering. I can't seem to help it though and force myself to get working more - focus is a little problem right now. Hopefully things will get better very soon or I am going to be in real trouble.

I hope everyone is enjoying hump day. Bye for now. Jessica - you snuck in before me - I think we were typing at the same time. :lol:

Ang

Morning ladies!

Man, what a bad week this has been for me, and I was so excited and motivated on Sat. after seeing some weight loss. *sigh*

Yesterdays meal plan was flushed down the drain by noon. I had Culvers for lunch (hot dog and cheese curds) - then I had Ramen noodles and potato chips for dinner. Blah. I am starting to get sick again, head cold like symptoms, but I am sure it is coming from the exhaustion that my work stress is causing me. I am so frustrated, and it's going to be like this all month! My Sales Rep. is out this week, then my co-account helper is out next week. Then my Sales Rep is out for the rest of the month. My head is so full of stress at night that I can't even sleep.

Mette- With the gung ho, I do the same thing. I feel good about it for like, a few hours, then the pain comes in. I tried this Bootcamp class once.. (Because the guy at the gym singled me out and asked me to join and played upon my poor low self esteem and made me feel all special! Haha) I was sore, literally, for four days and unable to lift my arms or move in any fashion of grace. Work into it slow and savor that you are still working!!


Shyangel- The shoe problem is that I was getting a lot of pain in my heels. I can't just wear everyday cheap shoes because I get sore feet. I really should have my whole foot looked at by a podiatrist, but HMO insurances are just a pain to manuever around with. So I had bought them -for- every day shoes, to help decrease my heel pain, and they have! Yaya. I suppose if I want to wear them every day and run in them, it will just mean buying replacements more often. I guess that will work. Or have to work anyway.

Tonight is a double header for softball, it's our last week. I am so tired though and just want to go bury my head in a hole until Sept. With the stress from work, I have fallen hard off the motivation wagon, and don't really care if I get dragged from behind it. I had Burritoes for breakfast again, but now I feel really sick and don't want to eat anything else at all today. >.< I want this month to be over!!

Jessica - since we all focus on the negative at times, it may seem like you are not following through but I think you have done a lot of things. try to acknowledge the accomplishments. Going grocery shopping is important also, especially when it affects how you eat, which is so important. I know that when I don't have anything in the house I eat even worse than usual. I hope you have a chance to exercise tonight but go easy on yourself; today is another day and tomorrow is past so you can't do anything about it.

Renee - what's happening that is causing the problems this week? Is it just work stress (not meaning to belittle the significance of work stress btw)? Have you been able to exercise at all? I'm sorry you are so tired but glad you have softball tonight. Sometimes doing something activity that is fun is just what you need to actually get more energized. ALso, some light exercise (even walking) might help you relax and take your mind off work. Do the best you can with eating, but if you are just too stressed don't add more stress by feeling bad about what you are eating. Just do the best you can. Maybe try to make a tiny (very tiny) goal for yourself each day (e.g. walk 10 minutes or make one healthy food choice) so you can accomplish something and feel positive. This might help with the motivation. Hang in there. We are all here for you.

Now that I have all the info I realize why you are wearing your shoes all the time. I guess for now quicker replacements may be the only way to go. You still may be able to use the shoes longer during the day but not for running as they start to wear out. You'll just have to wait and see when that happens. At least the new ones are helping with your pain (yea!) AND you are all set to start running.

I'm off to lunch - sandwich, banana, carrots - I'm actually looking forward to it. Maybe that's because I forgot to eat my peanuts and now I am really hungry. Oops.

Ang

I was thinking about you guys when I walked home from the gym today: about how motivating it is to have you guys to talk to, report to, get feedback and support from, somebody to cheer for and be cheered on by! This place is the framework of keeping me motivated. No doubt about that. Thanks guys! :goodvibes

Jessica – I know! About the food store and buying healthy food! I did that too! :D
I’m glad we’re both over that phase!
I think you should go in to the proper weightroom where the really good equipment is too! Because you know the only way we’re ever going to get through our fear and embarrassment, right? The only way lifting weights in that room is ever going to feel good is by lifting weights in that room! Nothing else will do it. Heh.

Thank you for your comments, you do help a lot – you all do – all the time. I’m sure once I’ve been at the gym a couple of times, know how to use the equipment (don’t do stupid mistakes and make everybody laugh at me!), it'll be better.
I think all 3 of you are correct – and that the way to slow down myself is what Jessica said: follow the plan precisely and accurately for the next 4 weeks.
Ang – I think talking to an instructor at the gym was the smartest thing I could do too. I think it increases my chances of staying with the program immensely if I start slow.
Heh. And the part about me going to love watching my muscles flex in the mirrors? Yeah. Well, Jessica, I’m just going to take your word for it! ;)

And Jessica – hope you get done some exercise today. But even if you don’t: it’s still not the end of the world. Even if you say that you’ll do something and then don’t – it’s still helping because you’re making plans. When you keep thinking up possible ways you can exercise, keep thinking up alternatives and variations – it will make it easier for you to make good choices in your hectic life. Because there are options, and on some days you’ll choose them. And I think you chose right when you chose to spend some quality time with Mike!

Ang – sorry you had a bad day yesterday. Sometimes the running will get you through bad emotions, burn them up – but I have also experienced what you’re talking about: that the emotions flood you and you can’t run. Again: working in the garden counts as exercise!
And how great that your eating was good even with a really bad emotional day!

You’re having dinner with your BF’s mother? (Oh. You didn’t really think we wouldn’t ask about that, did you? ;) )Wow?
I get this flash of one of the episodes of Sex in the City where Samantha gets together with a man, and the relationship with the guy isn’t all that – but she has a great relationship with his mother! And delay breaking up with him because she likes his mother and gets along great with her. :D

Renee – another one with a really stressful job! I’m sorry it’s messing with your motivation, but it really is true: when you’re tired and stressed out, there is no fun to be had anywhere. What are you doing as a basic food plan? Are you following a specific program or your own?
I’m on a 1500 calories plan, I started out just counting calories and trying to eat enough vegetables – but along the way I have been looking more and more at getting more proteins too. I don’t eat meat, so originally I ate very little protein – but I’m trying to increase it, so that I can get stronger and leaner as I continue to lift weights! ;)

And I had my first day at the gym today. Lower body today.

And, yes Jessica, the instructor had specific reasons for starting slow and not increasing weights for the first 4 weeks – just the reasons you mention: get the form right, learn the exercises properly, learn the equipment, and get my body used to working out this way.

I did squats (8x3, 45lbs (just the bar)), leg press (12x3, 90lbs), and leg curls (10x3, 65lbs). I also did shoulders.
I’m bubbling with excitement – because I actually did *squats*! You know, that’s like real weightlifting! (Oh.God.I’m such a dork.)(heh). I did get a kick out of it! And I think that’s something else about the gung-ho attitude and burnout speed – I get really, really excited at first and want to do it *all the time*. I think that’s part of it too.

So steadying myself. But still. I did squats with a really heavy bar! So yes. I had a really good day. :smug:

Jessica – enjoy your evening no matter what you do. Ang – enjoy your dinner! Renee – enjoy your softball and hope you get some rest and sleep too.
Talk to you guys later.

Hey all. Ugh, what a week. I'll try to be brief in explanation on the work issues. I handle the top salesmans accounts. This salesman is also owner and president of the company, and accounts for about 70% of the company's income. He is on vacation this week. He left a sizable amount of large, high profile accounts open ended with projects he started, but never finished, - and he never even warned me about them. I've had to start from scratch with customers who are impatient and intolerant of the fact the salesman didn't give me the info. To top it off, he (slmn) just isn't very good at this whole communication/organization stuff. He left me no paperwork to find on this stuff. So... he is gone for a week. Next week, he is back, but the woman who does the other half of his accounts (who is just as bad as far as filing things and being organized) goes out of town for a week. She returns, and then the salesman leaves for another 1.5 weeks. I don't know how I will make it!

Yesterday, I didn't do to bad actually, er scratch that. It was the last week of the softball season - so we had more than a few beers. Besides that I had, burritoes for breakfast, and subway for lunch. Forgot dinner! Oops.

Grr, work is being too busy for me to get through this quick post. I have no appetite for lunch today, bleh, so am going to go check out a new cellphone and then maybe eat a sandwich later. I woke up a bit early today, and think I might be able to fit in a 20 minute walk in the mornings if I really tried.

Check in more later.

Good afternoon.

mette - I am so glad that we can be helpful for you. I know that I too am so happy to have found you ladies. Except for the fact that I fail at our mission and goals all the time and feel badly about it, I really appreciate all of the support. We can understand each other.

Your workout seems great mette! You are indeed a real weightlifter. Bottle your enthusiasm and save some for later. Maybe write down (here if you want) all your thoughts and feelings about it now so later you can look back and be reminded about how good you felt at the beginning. Maybe take pictures of you now so later you can see the changes in your muscular definition. I guess it depends on what types of things motivate you. I think it's just super that you made the initial appointment and have followed through with this. :bravo:

My dinner with bf's mother was just because I see her sometimes when I go to the farm (their house is right near by and sometimes I need to use the bathroom) and she asked if I wanted to stop by for dinner while watering last night. Not really a big deal. His parents seem to like me and I am glad, but his mother and I aren't best friends or anything. I'll take a home cooked meal over my crap anyday and a little company and socializing isn't bad either.

I didn't think my stress level could get worse but it has been every day and I am at my wits end. I am sure you all are getting tired of hearing me complain so I appreciate you letting me babble because it helps. I now break out into tears a few times a day for almost no reason. It is not good to have all these emotions built up with no outlet (emotions about bf and other parts of my life too). I think I am just so frustrated that I don't even want to put effort into anything - including exercise, food, bf, house.

Renee - I am sorry that work has been so tough for you. I know how stress can affect your entire life. Is there any point trying to talk to the salesman and trying to implement some better organizational tools and practices? Try to take care of yourself and don't let any of these clients push you around. They are not more important than you are and they should respect you - of course that means that you must respect yourself first and demand the respect from them.

Subway isn't necessarily bad for you. Did you have a sub? What type? Skipping dinner and than drinking berr might not have been the wisest choice but did you enjoy the softball at least? What position do you play? I played for a number of years too.

Walking before work sounds like a good idea. If you're not hungry for lunch can you walk outside at lunch? Getting out of the office and walking might help ease the stress of work a little. Good luck with the rest of the day. Try to do something today for you, even if it is only a little thing.

Jessica - I hope you are off having a wonderful time. It seems a little slow/busy for all of us so not too many posts.

Take care - I'm off to try and convince myself to blow off farm and go to my 3miles run tonight with my club. I just wish I knew if anyone was showing up. It stinks to drive out there (a different town) and then have to run alone.

Ang

Renee – I’m sorry your job is so stressful too. Will it be better next week when your boss comes back to work? Even if the other woman is off, at least he will be there and help you figure things out right? Ang has some good ideas – both that you look into possible ways of getting your job more organized and also to find ways of taking care of yourself.

And yes – Jessica, what are you up to?

Ang – Good idea to bottle my enthusiasm actually – I need to remember this for later. And I actually did take pictures of myself in my underwear yesterday. I’ve never bothered with “before-pictures” before, but Krista (heh) also said I should do it. And now you too! It must be the right thing to do then! ;)
It’s good that the BF’s family likes you. Have you seen him at all this week? How did you two manage to get together? You seem to be on complete opposite schedules!

You are not complaining Ang! You’re in a really bad place right now: you’re stressed out and in emotional turmoil - and of course you should tell us about it. As often as you want to.
I’m sorry that you’re feeling so bad Ang. I hope you feel better soon.

If I should come up with something to say to you, it would be that you remember to also focus on the good things in your life: how far you’ve actually come, what you’ve achieved.
I know your job isn’t optimal or maybe the job you want to stay with for a very long time, but it still will look good on your CV for when you’ll look for your next job. And you’re finding out a lot of what you’re not looking for in a job – things you didn’t know about before you started in this job.
The BF – we all understand how exhausting that must be for you – and the emotions you are feeling are not good and positive at all. And it makes it even worse that he’s never there so you can talk with him! Do you have any idea when you’ll see him and spend time with him again?

Did you go out to run? I went jogging this morning in the rain, it was actually quite nice – but my legs were a bit stiff so I didn’t do as well as I’ve done before. Ah well. Have nice Thursdays everybody.

Hi guys,

Sorry I haven't posted today. I slept until 7 this morning so I didn't get my usual leasurly wake up time with my 3FC friends. I'm sorry you all are having a rough time right now. Must be something in the air. This has been such a stressful work week for me, and I'm really trying to not get down on myself about my goals for the week not being met. I woke up at a quarter to 4 this morning, and had trouble falling back to sleep until about when I normally get up. Figures, huh? I was feeling on the axious side for some reason, but I woke up feeling ok. I made a healthy salad for dinner last night, and did some shopping at the local drug store for "girly things" such as make up and a new hair dryer. Everyone has complimented me today because I spent some time on my appearance this morning and they noticed. I at least feel good about that. I have my Planning Commission meeting tonight, so I know I won't have any time to exercise, and at this point, I'm going to be happy if I go Friday after work and Saturday. That's 3 days, which is more than I've been doing, so, I'll focus on the positive.

Renee- I know all about being pulled in 3 different directions and being left out of the loop. You're not alone!

Ang- I've also been where you are right now. The crying for no reason can feel so frustrating, but your emotions need to be honored and delt with somehow. Definitely time for some positive changes in your life. Please post whenever you want about your troubles. That's what we're here for.

Mette- So glad you got out for your run. You are fabulous!

My lunch hour seems to go by faster every day, time to head back. I'll try to sneak a post in tonight when I get home.

Heya... well, today turned out not quite as bad as most of this week as far as work goes. Thanks for the encouragement guys. The owner is a bit dimwitted and well, there is no hope of teaching that old dog new tricks. He doesn't even know how to use his cell phone or email!

My eating was... well, geez, I have done so poorly this whole week. Burritos. Again (sigh) chinese for lunch. Dinner was left over steak, chips, fruit snacks and hershey kisses. I was so bored and lonely and tired, that I just kept grazing. Now I feel bad.

Ang - I hear ya too on the bottling up. I tend to do the same. I've always tried to be 'the strong one' and I end up pushing my feelings down and aside and back, then they start piling up and I turn into a wreck. Sometimes a good cry is well, good for you. Just make sure you got a big stuffed animal handy.

Mette- Dang, you are like .. making this sound so easy! :) I was all set last night to do some running to day, and I woke up sore from softball. My legs were bugging me, like, on the inside of the calf? Not the calf, and not the shin, but more towards the inside. Screwy, but I am hoping tomorrow will work. I was thinking about, for my first day at it, just not bothering with timing things or anything. Just saying 'Hey, Renee, go around the block, run when you can, walk the rest, and then pat yourself on the back for getting from point a to .. point a. :)

Jessica - you and me, heh tomorrow! We both come back and post at night talking about the exercise we did pull off! Deal? :D

So, I bought a new cell phone, yaaay finally not carrying around a big clunker. Anyway, I went to download ring tones and found out that nowadays you have to have the whole wireless blah blah. It's only $4 a month so I did it. No big deal. Just gotta get used to the flip phone style and all.

So, my alarm is still set for early-ish. I think I will leave it there and give this morning run an honest effort. Provided my legs are better. If not, then I will do some skating at lunch. And for the love of pete Renee, drive PAST the McDonalds! The drive thru cashier is so used to me now, that she asked me for the time as I went through! They probably set up wages, 'when is that girl in the silver car gonna be here?' Hahaha.

Also of note, man, I woke up with a reaaaally sore front tooth. I wasn't expecting those teeth to hurt anymore through out my treatment because they are pretty much where they need to be. It's so strange how they just out of nowhere start hurting, even weeks after your last adjustment. Ah well. Progress. :)

See you ladies in the morning!

I just wanted to post very quickly to say good night to all and again, I am so glad you all are here. As I read the posts before I tried to sleep I think that isn't it good that at least 1 of us is usually doing well so when our lives aren't great we can commisserate (sp?) but also have someone to look to for inspiration.

I did not run tonight (my whole club bailed on our pub run so I did not bother either) and went to the farm for almost 2 hours. BF was there and I really had a good time with the veggies - more tomorrow on all of this. In general I am just glad I got through today - that was my only goal and I made it. Tomorrow is a new day with new hope.

Renee - pass by the McDonalds. Make it a goal for tomorrow and let us know. Do it for yourself. I know you can.

Happy Friday - the weekend is almost here and I have lots of plans. What is everyone else doing?

Ang

Hello from the land of the overworked and underpaid...!

I just got home from my meeting. Was a nice 15-hour day on top of an already stressful work-week. And I wonder why I feel like I don't have time to exercise? Sheesh. Anyway, tomorrow is Friday which means it should be a light work day. I can't wait until 5 p.m. Woohoo.

Mike probably won't be home until Saturday. He (well, his crew and his boat) are supposed to be on local L.A. news tomorrow evening for the work he's out of town doing. They are helping to train the L.A. SWAT team in "homeland security" and the Mayor of Los Angeles as well as the Chief of Police are supposed to be there, so that's pretty cool.

I feel like I hardly ate today, and although my choices weren't terrible, I see how not eating enough can sort of throw my next meal or two out of whack.

No breakfast
Snack (at about 11 a.m.) small serving of bean dip with a few tortilla chips
Lunch (about 2 p.m.) hommade turkey melt on sourdough bread
Dinner (6:15 p.m.) Steak and blue cheese salad w/ vinegrette dressing from Quizno's Subs.

I think I ate even less than I realized. Like I said, it has been a **** of a week. Anyway, I'm finally starting to wear down. It's hard unwinding after such a long day. I'll talk with you all tomorrow.

Everybody is working to hard and being stressed out because of their jobs recently! I’m sorry you’re all having such *sucky* times at work.

Yey for Jessica who dressed girly and got complements at work! :D

Yey for Renee who had a fairly good day and bought a new cell phone! :D

Yey for Ang who had a good time with the veggies! :D

Jessica, you really did eat very little, but you know you'll improve your eating when your days are getting better at work and you’re not stressed out all the time. Whatever happened to slow and easy workdays in the summertime?

I’m really enjoying my days off – and haven’t gotten much done actually. The weather has been so nice, and it’s been great to be outdoors. It’s not as if the cleaning, organizing and filing is going anywhere! It’ll still be there when it starts to rain again.

Wish you all happy workdays on Friday. Ang, what are your exciting plans for the weekend?

Well poop. I panicked this morning as I drove past the last remaining places to get food. I have none at work. It was McDonalds (again) or Dunkin Donuts. I figured that at least McDonalds was lower in carbs.

I have a friend that calls me the undisputed Queen of Rationalizations. There is nothing I cannot rationalize my way into or out of. I wish I could apply that to something healthy, instead of always using it to convince myself something unhealthy was actually ok.

Determined to not let this undermind my efforts for the day, I -WILL- be going out at lunch to either run, or skate. This despite my calves still really hurting. The weather is beautiful, I am going to make use of it.

Tomorrow is horse farm work, and Sunday I am going to go on another bike ride. This time though, I will get a water bottle for my bike!

Good morning!

Well, as a result of my late night and long week I slept in this morning and called work to tell them I'll be in at 10. I feel bad about not being there, but the sleep sure felt good!

Mette: I'm sorry all of us are having such stress at work and elswhere; I hope we're not bringing you down! I think I am going to take a few days off toward the end of this month, just to have some down time and relax around the house. Enjoy your beautiful weather and worry about the organizing later!

Renee: I think we can all understand the rationalization that goes on in our minds when we're behaving in ways we know aren't good for us. I used to do it all the time, but I'm getting better at calling a spade a spade. Honesty with yourself is really important and when you are able to do that, you may be better equipped to develop new habits and behaviors that work in your favor.

Ang: What are your plans for the weekend? I hope you have a really good one and are able to take some quality time for yourself.

Anyway, I guess I better get moving. It will at least be a short work day today!

Talk to you all later.

Hi Everyone.

Wow - it's already Saturday. I actually cooked dinner tonight (stuffed chicken breast, salad, and rice) for a friend and then we went out to see a movie. It was kind of nice to cook. I'm slowly getting there and trying to adapt my eating to something I can live with. I realized that I was not allowing myself to eat enough carbs so I was feeling deprived and binging on them at times. I think controlled moderation would be better. After dinner I took her to the farm. It was so nice to be able to share that with someone. It is amazing how much joy I get out of those little veggies. :D BF and I put out a bunch of stuff yesterday and almost all of it sold in one day! Hopefully there will be more for me to pick tomorrow.

Tomorrow, after errands and shopping, I am going out in the city with some friends. I hope to have a good time, although I'm not thrilled about the prospect of dressing up. Sunday I am going with same friend to the beach if the weather holds up. Again, not thrilled about wearing a bathing suit for the first time in 2 years but looking forward to the sun and some relaxation.

What is everyone else doing?

mette - I'm so glad you are enjoying your vacation. I agree that the filing can wait. That is my philosophy right now with stuff around the house. I would rather be outside now and wait until the weather gets bad to do stuff inside the house. It's not going anywhere. Enjoy!

Jessica - I'm so sorry that work has been so stressful. I am glad for you that it is over. I also took the morning off from work at the last minute. Sometimes we just need some time for ourselves to rejuvinate a little. Don't feel guilty. You work hard and I'm sure you don't owe your job anything. Did you enjoy your short day?

mette - you do make it all seem so easy. ;) Did you go to the gym today?

renee - did you go out at lunch? Definitely remember the water bottle on your bike ride. I don't think I have been drinking enough water and it sure isn't good for you to dehydrate. Speaking of which, I think I'll go drink some water now. Can you get to the store this weekend and buy something to eat at home for breakfast so you don't go to McD? I've been really happy with my cereal and fruit. I get up and don't even have to think about breakfast - I just throw it together, sit and watch a couple of minutes of t.v. in my new rocker and eat my cereal. I bet you could find something you like that is easy and fast that you could have at home. Just think how good you'd feel starting your day off on a good note.

I did see BF last night for a little. Although we did have 'the talk', he did and said enough things to allow me to wait a few more days until our schedules allow us to have an evening together to really sit down and chat. It does stink to have opposite work schedules. He isn't home 5 out of 7 evenings. Even though I only saw him for just over an hour last night, it was a good time on the farm. He asked all the right questions and said some really nice things without being prompted. I still haven't given up on him yet.

Have any of you felt like this - no matter how heavy I am I always think that I am the heaviest person in the world. I'm afraid I'm going to break things, not fit places others go (e.g. rollercoaster seats), etc. Even though I lost some weight last year I still feel really big. The other day at my track workout we had to squeeze through a hole in the fence. Everyone was doing it but I was scared that I wouldn't fit. I was SURE I wouldn't fit. I gave it a shot and fit without even hitting the sides. It just hit me how bad and possibly incorrect my self image is. How do you get honest with yourself? Jessica - you mentioned calling a spade a spade but how do you start to do that? Sometimes it scares me that even if I lose 30 pounds I will still think of myself as fat. I believe that if I thought better (and more honestly) of myself I would improve my attitude and in the long run lose more weight and be happier.

Ang

Hi girls,

Where was everyone today? I hope it was a good Friday all around. :) My day was busy, of course. I ended up not getting out of the office for lunch, but had a cup of soup at my desk. I was so tired when I got home tonight. I hate to sound so needy, but I can't wait for Mike to get home. Thinking about it, this is the longest we've gone without seeing each other, and I guess the rest of August is going to be about the same. He'll be home early Saturday morning and I'm SO looking forward to having him back.

Ang, sounds like you have a really nice weekend planned! The beach, a night on the town... how fun! Do your best to not let your insecurities get in the way of having a good time. I know you will enjoy yourself. :D

I know how you feel about the distorted body image. When I was at what my goal weight is, I DID still think I had weight to lose and didn't fully appreciate what I'd achieved. I think that contributed to regaining the weight; so we all need to really work on how we see ourselves as we go through this process. :chin:

When I mentioned being honest with ourselves, I guess I was referring more to habits and behaviors than perceptions. In your mind, when you think of yourself as fat, that is being honest with yourself because that's your perception. You're not telling yourself you're fat to achieve an end. That's how you feel. But when you know you should be eating a piece of fruit for dessert and you opt for the slice of chocolate cake and you make excuses for why you did it, you know you are rationalizing. Just say "I ate the chocolate cake because I wanted it and it tastes great!" It's by cultivating that kind of honesty that I think we can achieve doing the right thing most of the time. It's the rationalizing that makes us feel guilty about our behavior and eventually sabotages our efforts. Does that make any sense? :?: When people at work offer me doughnuts and I'm able to say no, I am able to say, "no, if I have one I know I'll have three." That's being honest with myself, instead of "Well, I'll just have one with my coffee because I didn't bring my oatmeal," and then have three. Or if I have one, I think, I really want a doughnut so I'm going to have one. Not because I'm weak, but because doughnuts taste good. I am trying to have this same inner dialogue about my exercise, now, and that's why I get frustrated with myself about not going to the gym. I don't want to rationalize that one. I really enjoy it, yet time and time again, I feel like I let myself get distracted by other things and I put it lower on the priority list. I'll get there, though, where I understand my motivation and my short-comings when it comes to working out.

Again, I think the self-image thing is really important to try to get in perspective before we reach our goals, and I'm not sure the best way to achieve the proper perception. Maybe mette can help us out on this one?

My plans for the weekend are pretty much the same as last weekend, I guess. Visit my folks, spend time with Mike, visit with my grandparents, get my house in order for next week, try to exercise... I hate to even think about it, but I should probably spend some time at the office finishing some things I started today. We'll see.

And, last but not least, I lost another 2 lbs this week! I'm now back at the weight I was at when I started my last weight loss attempt. Feels good to know I've been able to break even. Now the real adventure begins! Whew! :goodscale

Talk to you all in the morning!

SW: 202
CW: 183
GW: 148

Hi guys –
I’m sorry. Monster-entry ahead. You’re warned. ;)

Jessica – congratulations on losing another 2 pounds!!! Great work! :high:

Renee – how did your lunch go? You probably shouldn’t overdo it if your calves are still sore. But in moderation – running and skating is great exercise. Do you find that it’s easier to eat better when you’ve been exercising? Or is it the other way around for you – easier to exercise when you’re eating better?

Ang – it’s great to hear that you’re enjoying cooking, and figuring out how it is best for you to eat. You’ve been feeling low a couple of days so it’s also great to hear that you’re doing better – and enjoying yourself – also at the farm and with the BF. Very good to hear Ang! :D

I’m not very fond of dressing up either. I often end up avoiding doing things where I have to do that, it’s not very good. But I hope you soldier through, dress up and go out, and have a fabulous time!
The beach sounds wonderful – I find that I’m self-conscious for a bit at first, but eventually I just give in to how good everything feels: the sun, the water, the breeze, being with friends. Hope you enjoy it Ang.

Ang – about feeling huge and thinking you’re the heaviest person ever, I think that’s quite normal. Have you seen the program “What not to wear”, where they go through the selected women’s wardrobes, tell them what not to wear, and send them out to shop for new clothes? Again and again the women are being pushed into wearing sizes that fit and are *shocked* that they actually should wear one or two sizes smaller then they thought.

And when you lose weight – like you did last year – I’ve found that it really does take forever for the image in my head to reach up with my actual size. Researchers actually have a name for it: it’s the phantom-fat phenomenon they find in previously over-weight women.
It will get better as you make experiences with your size and how big/small you are. Just like you did with the hole in the fence. When you lose 30lbs it will probably take some time before you start thinking of yourself as thin, and in one article I read the researchers found that previously overweight women continued to pay more attention to what they ate, what they weighed than normal women who hadn’t been overweight. But as long as it’s not extreme or excessive – I think that keeping vigil, so to speak, is necessary if one is to maintain a weightloss. Which we all know is the hard part.

Jessica – at least you survived your week and Mike’s coming home. Good for you, hope you two enjoy your weekend together. I also think you’re completely right about habits and behaviors; sometimes it’s not even possible to work through all the emotions, motivations and thoughts before you do something – because then you’ll never actually get around to doing the things you’re supposed to be doing if you want to ‘finish’ the emotions first.
But I’m not talking about you and going to the gym here Jessica, because – you know what? – the number one requirement to do that is having days where you have time and excess energy. If you’re tired, stressed-out, exhausted, then you’re not going to be able to go to the gym, exercise and spend even more energy. Energy you don’t have. And you need to stop beating yourself up about it too.

As for self-image, I think that I finally have gotten to the place where I select my battles. I’m slowly moving out of the all-or-nothing, black-or-white thinking when it comes to self-image, self-esteem, body-image, self-efficacy – whatever we call it.
There are a lot of stuff I avoid, there are a lot of stuff I sort of pretend isn’t there – I just choose to not deal with everything right now.
So, selecting my battles – I’ve chosen to focus on my eating and on exercising. I’m not sure whether it’s a very smart approach or a very stupid one. ;)

And it does look easy, doesn’t it? Somehow it is sort of easy too. It ties back to what Jessica was talking about – habits and behaviors. I’ve gotten into a flow of things where eating well and exercising isn’t hard work. But I don’t have your stressed out days. I don’t feel exhausted and emotionally drained from other stuff going on in my life right now.
And – no matter what - I still have to make the right choices every day, try to eat right and get the exercising done. I’m trying to go for 30%protein, 30%fat and 40%carbs – so I have been upping my protein the last week. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten so much protein before in my life. And I’m having some difficulties getting enough too (it’s not as if I’m being a **** about it – yet).
Jessica, are there any sweets that are high in protein and relatively low in calories? I get sweet-cravings in the evenings, and eat stuff like fruit, berries, sugar free dark chocolate, and crackers with cottage cheese and jelly. But that’s mostly carbs.
I do eat protein bars though – that’s the only sweet protein snack I’ve found so far. Is it really excessive if I end up eating two a day do you think?

And yes. I went to the gym and did upper body, and have the sore arms (my biceps are sore!) to prove it. Yey! I did bench press with dumbbells (2x22lbs dumbbells), one arm dumbbell row (30lbs), bicep curls (22lbs), triceps extensions (25lbs). I did 8 rep and 3 series. It was hard, I had to take a break here and there, but all in all it was OK.
Then – the last exercise – was lower back extensions on an extension bench. Ang, you know about that fear of being so heavy that you’re breaking things? I have this fear of tipping the bench over. Heh. I haven’t yet, but I’ll let you know if it ever comes to that! :D
But the back exercise? OMG! I was supposed to do 8 reps and 3 series, but for the last 2 series I couldn’t do more than 6 and 5. My back was completely seizing up! No wonder my back hurts when I do stuff: I have no strength there. Ah well.

But yes. I’ve done my first week at the gym. Yey.
Have great weekends everybody!

Good morning!

Yes, I think it's definitely time for a vacation. I've been sleeping in longer and longer each weekend, and I think it's because I'm so burned out and exhausted. So I got up at 10:30 this morning! Mike got in about 6:30 a.m., so part of it was relaxation because he made it home safe and it was nice having him next to me.

Mette: Thank you for your post! When you were talking about the "phantom fat" it made me think about what happens when people get a limb amputated. Even though there is no leg there, the person can still "feel" a leg, wiggle their toes, have pain in their knee, etc. My grandpa had his leg amputated a couple of years ago and has had that experience. Just goes to show how powerful our minds are, and how attached we become to our bodies. By the way, "What not to Wear" is one of my guilty viewing pleasures! And you're right, women in particular always seem to wear clothes that are way to big and really do get shocked when smaller clothes fit and look good. I really like watching those makeover shows and seeing the potential that people have come to life.

I think your approach is a REALLY good one. Eating and exercising. Not getting bogged down in everything all at once, just focusing on the "mechanics" of living a healthier life. It really is like the Nike slogan. That's exactly what I did when I lost weight before. I didn't really "know what I was doing" I just followed the program my friend outlined for me, had faith that it would work, didn't veer off of it, and I accomplished exactly what I wanted to. I think it was when I tried to second-guess what I was doing, do more than what I needed to do, that I got off track. Sometimes we just need to not over-think things.

Thank you for the encouraging words about my exercise. You guys are always so right-on. I'm still doing great even without the exercise, so it will happen when it can and I'll try not to stress about it. And your routine sounds great! You're lifting a lot of weight to start- I can see where your trainer would want you to stick with that for a while. You did really great though! And keep working on those back exercises; that will help you have a stronger stomach and be stronger overall.

Alright guys, I should try to get moving. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Hi everyone,

Ok, I changed my signature. Yeah, I know, I've lost 19 pounds, but I really wanted one of those chickies! ha ha... Close enough to 20 anyway. With as crummy as I've felt lately, I needed to give myself a pat on the back. :)

Hope everyone's having an awsome weekend. :cool: Mike and I hung out at home, and I got some stuff done for work... stuff that I've been putting off for a month. It felt good to get it done so it's not hanging over my head. Other than that, a nice, peaceful weekend so far. What's everyone else up to?

Hi Jessica –
Great chicken! :D It’s quite amazing that you’ve lost 20lbs – that *is* a lot of weight off! I totally agree: close enough to 20 – and you deserve the pat on the back. :cheer:
Good to hear you’re having a nice weekend too.

I’ll write more later, I’m just on my way out. The weather is nice, and I want to be outdoors today. The plan is to go hiking.
I have to start getting things together tomorrow – I think I start up with practice in the university clinic on Wednesday – but I’m not sure. (Have to check that – another thing to go on my to-do-list).

Wish you a completely stress-free weekend Jessica! Talk to you later.

Congratulations Jessica - awesome job losing 19 pounds!

I just wanted to let you know I was around but I am also heading out the door to try and get something productive done today. Ran yesterday for 45 minutes but no exercise today. I have to go grocery shopping and get some other things done so I don't think I have time to bike. I can't enjoy exercise when I am rushed and anxious.

I did want to tell you that I went out last night and BF called while I was out. He invited me to his house when I got home - so of course I went. I got home today at about 1:30pm (no beach) and it was a nice surprise to be able to spend some time with him - granted we were sleeping through some of it but it was still nice to be with him. I'm not saying things were perfect or I am completely at ease with the situation (far from it), but he told me he loved me last night and that he just hasn't been telling me because he was feeling pressured. I don't know from where but that will be for the next talk (not at 2am). I told him I was afraid of the future and he assured me that the relationship has a future, at least a tomorrow because life holds no guarantees. I just wanted to share.

Jessica - I am glad you are having a peaceful weekend and I hope it continues. mette - I hope you enjoy being outside. Did you go for your hike?

I'll write more later hopefully regarding your past posts. I'm just having a hard time focusing right now.

Ang

Hi everybody. No weight-loss for me this week, but at least I’m up in calories. The last two weeks I’ve been averaging close to 1500 again. I think I’ve been more hungry the last week, which is a bit weird because it’s been really hot – and normally I don’t want to eat as much when I’m warm. But this week I’ve wanted to eat constantly. It could have something to do with increasing my exercise, and specifically the weightlifting. What do you guys think? Increase the protein?
Last week I averaged on 97 grams of protein a day (which is very good – I went back and looked at my first weeks in May and I ate about 76-79 grams a day). I’m still not up to 30%protein – that would be 113 grams a day. So maybe I should just continue to increase, huh? Adding a fruit/protein powder shake at night would probably be enough. (Oh no! Now I have to go into some body builder store, be stupid and ask embarrassing questions! Great! Just great!) Heh.

Ang – how superb that you ran for 45 minutes on Saturday! I’m so impressed by you! How long have you been running? Is it something you’ve always done?
It’s also good to hear that you had a nice time with the BF. And how sweet that he told you he loves you! :love:
It’s great to hear, and maybe you feel a bit more relaxed about him too?

And yes, I did go for a hike – I went early in the morning, before the weather got too hot. It was nice, but still a bit too hot though. It was wonderful to come home, take off all my clothes, sit on the sofa and drink cold drinks! :lol:

Good morning Ladies

Hmmm...this week is starting just like the rest. It is noon already and I have barely gotten any work done. In some ways I like that the time flies by, but hopefully this afternoon I will actually be able to concentrate on the article I need to edit. Have I ever mentioned that I hate writing, but my job depends on it. :devil:

Jessica - I hope work is less stressful for you this week. I think taking a vacation is a great idea. Hopefully you will be able to rejuvenate yourself and just enjoy some time for yourself. I was going to wait until October to take a vacation but am thinking that I am going to plan a day off this month and fill it with fun stuff just for me. btw - I read your blog and I think that addressing issues that are looming is a good idea. You never know what things could be lingering in the back of your mind and causing additional stress and problems in your life. Do you think your 'friend' will agree to see you and talk about your falling out?

mette - I also watch the show "What not to wear". I love any type of makeover show and really like watching this show when the person is 'like me' in body type so I can get some tips. I have no fashion sense so I need all the help I can get. Now I know some things to look for in clothes and just need to get my butt out the door and be willing to spend some money. I desperately need new jeans and when the weather gets cold I'm sure I'll need other stuff. I did buy new shoes for my night out on Saturday. They are strappy with 3" heels. Quite difficult to walk in but I wanted something a little 'sexy' adn these seemed to fit the bill. My clothes fit on Saturday and my friends said I looked 'hot' so I actually wasn't doing too badly with self image that night. I think that I tend to feel better when I put in the effort to do my makeup and where nice clothes. I just don't get much of an opportunity to do it (don't bother for work).

Jessica - I agree with you about being honest with ourselves. I am trying to work on this with myself. If nothing else, it sometimes reduces the stress about the guilt because I have no one else to blame for my behavior. If I make the choice and am honest about it then I have to accept the 'consequences'. Ihave also been trying to be more in touch with my feelings about food. It doesn't always help, but a little at a time.

mette - I'm so glad that although the scale did not show a loss for you this week that you are seeing the positive things that you have accomplished. I think you are doing great. Your calorie intake sounds good. How are you figuring out how many grams of protein you need? Your amounts seem high to me. I don't think there is anything wrong with having two protein bars in one day, but I would also think that if you could get your protein from other sources (1 bar a day) it would probably be more beneficial to you and give you some variety and other nutrients. Weightlifting and exercising can definitely make you more hungry. I read recently (running group) that a lot of people who run have trouble losing weight because they get hungry and then over eat. If you can hold out your body should get 'used to it' and you shouldn't feel quite so hungry. I think a small snack would be appropriate though. Is there a certain time during the day that you are getting hungry when you didn't before? Remember that weightlifting burns more calories all day and requires more energy.

mette- I am happy that I ran Saturday. Thanks for being kind but there is nothing that I do that should impress. I didn't exercise yesterday because my day didn't start until 1:30pm and shopping was a must. Hopefully tonight I'll run. I started running two years ago and then stopped for about 8 months between last August (moved) and this April. I never ran before that because it always hurt. This last time I bought the right shoes and had a plan (walk/run combo) and it worked out. btw - did you know that you burn about 100 calories per mile walked or run? It is a good incentive for me to try and up my per week mileage. My ultimately goal is 20-25 mpw. Right now I am lucky if I get 10-15 mpw.

mette - I'm so glad you had a good time on your hike. It is so sweet when you are done with something like that. I actually feel like I have really accomplished something and being outdoors is just awesome. Do you hike in the woods? Were you by yourself?

Jessica - how are you doing today?

Renne - it's interesting that we tend to post at the same time and then you just sneek yours right in ahead of me. :lol:

I envy you getting to spend time with the horses. I am sure they help you maintain your weight. Congratulations on that! :) Awesome that you got out and ran. I won't pretend to know what could be happening with your calves (is pain or just discomfort?), but I will say that you need to be careful at the beginning and watch the time when you run. You may have just pushed yourself - sometimes it is hard to tell at the time, especially at the beginning of the workout. Did you stretch well? I think 13 minutes is great. The routine is just a suggested starting place. You modify it as needed until you can do the whole routine. Don't discount the fact that you did it and you were out there for 13 minutes. Suggestion, would you be able to just walk the rest of the 20 minutes?

I'm sorry to hear about your new stress. I went through that once and it is not a good thing and there is nothing you can do but wait. It sounds like you don't have anything to worry about I'll keep good thoughts for you. Keep us updated. I think your plan for lunch sounds great (eating and napping). It sounds like your body could use a little rejuvenation. Somehow you need to give it a little TLC. Hopefully things will be less stressful soon. Hang in there.

Happy Monday (or at least as good as Mondays get :lol: )

Ang

Hi everybody – where is Jessica today?

Renee – I just have to second what Ang said: it sounds wonderful to spend time with horses. Do you ride a lot?
I have nothing to say about the pain in your legs – you did just get new shoes too, didn’t you? I had a knee that ached a bit when I jogged, but with new shoes it’s thankfully all gone away. But great work on the jogging anyway.

Ang – I agree with Renee: to run for 45 minutes *is* impressive! I know I couldn’t do it. It’s also great to hear that it was the right shoes and a good plan that made you able to do it and enjoy it. I think that once I’m more settled into the new gym routine – I’ll look more closely at my jogging. I’m sure there’s a lot of potential for improvement in how I do things.
And yes - it’s really good for burning those calories too!!! :D

Yes – what I like about ‘what not to wear’ is that women with different body-types/taste/personality/age also end up with different type of clothes. I think it’s the reason I like it – I hate the shows where everybody looks alike after the makeover.
And I agree that it can be educational to watch other women with the same body-type as me – I know now that my straight jeans are the best for me, I should go for V-necks, I should go for jackets that make the illusion that I have a waist, etc etc. It’s actually useful knowledge. ;)
How wonderful that you looked and felt “hot” on Saturday, Ang! Building self-esteem girl! :D

My protein is based on what Krista writes about weightlifting and how to add muscles and lose fat. She suggests a balance of 40%carbs, 30%fat and 30%protein. Since I’m eating 1500 calories – 30% is 450 calories – protein is 4 calories a gram – so I should be eating 113 grams protein a day.
I think it’s a high level too – but I thought I would give it a try. To see how it affects my progress and exercising. It seems like it’s about keeping the good balance: protein with every meal, eat a lot of the good stuff: cheese, cottage cheese, eggs and egg whites, tuna, salmon, lentils and soy beans. I suppose I can do that.

Yes, I’m definitely hungrier. I graze more – it’s like I’m hungry again soon after meals. And I didn’t use to be hungry in the evenings. But I’ll try to hold out – how long will it last before it stabilizes – do you know, Ang?

I mostly hike in the mountains and hills – I’m fonder of mountain views and open spaces than trees and forests. And I usually go alone – usually I start off too early in the day to get anybody to go with me! ;)
I don’t know how this happened, but I seldom sleep longer than 7 in the mornings these days. By 8:30 I’m more than ready to go hiking – and nobody else I know is! Heh.

In other news – I went to the gym today and did my first combination set: squats, bench press, one arm dumbbell row + stomach. I still get a kick out of squats and bench press – just because they’re so “weightlifty”! Heh.

Great Mondays, everybody!

Now I know how you feel when I don't post for a day - I hope Jessica is alright.

mette - if you decide to 'look into your running' please let me know. Talking about running is fun and usually motivates me to run more. Unfortunately I did not make it tonight to run. I had an appointment after work that upset me and I just couldn't do anything good afterwards. :( Thanks to both of you for being impressed with my 45 minutes. I guess it amazes me too that once you get into running you can lengthen your time quite easily (within reason) if you don't go too fast. One of these days I'll get back to a schedule. When I first started running I went every day before school. Having a good schedule is the only way to go.

mette - thanks for explaining about the protein amounts. I wonder where the numbers that I heard came from. I was told at least 50g of protein. What a difference between the two numbers! I would guess that I get closer to 75g a day. I eat a protein bar usually now which has 25g and since I eat meat it adds up more quickly. I don't know if you know, but used to be a vegetarian and would love it if you shared ideas for protein snacks and meal options (besides just beans and tofu). Like you I am trying to keep my protein up and limit carbs as best as possible.

I think the hunger can last a week to three weeks. If you are really hungry find a low cal snack for the evening, just enough so you're not uncomfortable but not enough to make you full before bed. Maybe some cheese or a yogurt or some nuts. Yesterday I went to bed feeling a little hungry and actually liked it.

Great job with the gym. You are my role model. I wish we lived close so we could lift together. :) I hate to admit that I haven't started lifting. I think for me to succeed I need a lot more structure in my life - something I was never very good at. You go girl, you're doing awesome.

Renee - how did your day go? Did you go through with your lunch plans? I have to laugh because you just did it again and posted as I was writing. :lol: Congratulations on the exercise. :dance: :bravo: Your dinner sounds great too. Since you are bringing leftovers for lunch you are on your way to having a good eating day tomorrow. Try to eat something at home for breakfast to start your day off right. Still crossing fingers that the test will stay negative.

Goodnight all. Ang

Hi everyone,

I'm sure you're all in bed by now. I had another "manic Monday" ha ha... Got up at 7 a.m., which left me no time to check in before work. And once I got there, well, I was in constant motion all day. Having other people out on vacation is really stressing me out, because the amount of people and work doesn't decrease, it just gets shuffled to the rest of us. Anyway, it was draining, and on top of the work that came in today, I had a load of stuff left over from last week. I hate when I do that to myself!

Thank you for worrying about me! It feels good to be missed.

The positive news for today is that I packed my gym bag at lunch and went straight there after work. I did 20 minutes of pretty intense cardio and some stretching. I came home in a much better mood than I would have if I'd not gone, I know that much. Anyway, it helped me see the benefits of exercise in stress reduction... now that's just one more positive reason that I can keep on my list!

Mike is back out to sea tomorrow for about three days (he's never quite sure exactly how long he'll be gone) so I'm solo for the week again. I'm going to be happy when August is over and his work slows down. I don't like having him gone so much.

And the best news of the day yet... I've got all next week off from work!!!! Wooohoooo!!!!! I'm going to try to plan out my days ahead of time so I don't feel like I've squandered my time. I have some ideas for things I'd like to spend time doing, so I'll start writing them down and daydreaming about my vacation!

Ang: Yes, 45 minutes running is VERY cool! You really are doing great and I'm so glad you felt good about yourself when you went out on the town. It's hard sometimes, but when I take care to do my hair and makeup and wear nice clothes, I generally do feel more confident and sexier than when I just slum in my normal clothes. It's definitely good to do once in awhile.
And my friend that I wrote about in my blog... we've been best friends for like 6 years, both went through divorces at the same time, partied together, lived in the same apartment complex, went through a lot together. In the last year to year and a half, though, she's made some really bad choices, got fired from more than one job, and eventually moved back in with her parents (she'll be 31 in November). She tends bar at night and last I heard was taking classes during the day at community college. I'm not one who judges, so none of that is so important to me, but the thing that started making me turn away from her was the fact that she was choosing to spend time with people who drank all the time, stole things from her, and weren't truly her friend, where she had me, who really cared about her, and she spent less and less time with me and treated me like I wasn't very important. Back in May we were supposed to go on a weekend trip with some other girlfriends, and my 19 year old cat (yes, that's like 100 in cat years) that used to belong to my grandparents got really sick and I thought she was going to die, so I wasn't able to go on the trip. When they got back, I got no phone call, not even to tell me how the weekend was or to ask how the cat was doing. Nothing. So, I just never called her. A month or two later, I got one of those mushy Hallmark cards telling me how much she missed me and how special a friend I am, blah blah blah. And I still haven't contacted her. I know I'm being passive-aggressive, but I also know that she is a bit self-destructive and brings some drama into my life that I don't need. But she was such a good friend, and I guess I just need some closure on that one. One of the things I want to do with my time off is get together with her and talk about what happened. I think I need that taken care of. Sorry to ramble so much there, but it has been on my mind and you guys are such a good, unbiased audience, maybe you can give me some advice?

mette: as usual, you are doing wonderful! I'm glad you are enjoying the weightlifting so far. The fact that you actually do squats WITH weight??! I think I'm still using a wooden stick because squats are so hard! I'm pretty uncoordinated, so just keeping my balance is a feat in itself. I'm with Ang, I don't think there's anything wrong with 2 protein bars. Maybe try a protein shake in place of one of them to mix it up a bit?

Renee: Oh dear... I've been in that situation before and know how stressful the waiting can be. I also think you probably don't have anything to worry about, but I will think good thoughts for you and hope all turns out well! I'm sure you'll be just fine, and can use this as one of life's little lessons to learn from. I know I've learned a lot!

Well, I guess that's all my time for tonight. Hopefully I'll get my butt out of bed a little earlier tomorrow and check in. Sleep tight everyone!

Just wanted to say good morning to you all! I feel really good this morning and am keeping my thoughts positive about work today. Amazing how the reality of having a week off will change your perspective about the day! I plan on doing the gym again right after work, and since I don't have anyone waiting for me tonight I will be able to work out at my leasure. I'll keep you all posted. Have a great day all!

Renee – I really envy you that you get to spend time with the horses, it sounds like a really nice time. I live in a very small apartment (just one room plus a tiny kitchen and a tiny bath) in the middle of town – I can’t have animals here. And I miss it. It’s so good to hear there are places that take care of the wounded and mistreated animals – and people like you that volunteer their time to work there! Great going Renee!
And yey! for the exercise! And hope the tests continue to be negative too.

Ang – I did go jogging this morning, and there’s still major huffing and puffing going on. I’ve been thinking that maybe when winter comes I can start jogging on treadmills in the gym – it would make it easier to follow an “improvement plan” with alternating walking/slow jogging/fast jogging. We’ll talk more about it later this fall, OK? I would love to pick your brain – so to speak – about it. ;)
To run every morning before school is very impressive – but wasn’t it too much?

About the protein – I suppose the numbers from Krista’s website are high because she talks from the weightlifter perspective. It would be different on other programs.

And I didn’t know you used to be a vegetarian! Why did you stop? Did you feel it was too limiting?
Protein snacks – I’m very fond of cottage cheese – so I like crackers with lots of cottage cheese and a little fruit or jelly on top. I also like cottage cheese in salad. And I eat Lanaii’s pancake a lot - http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=42517 – it also includes cottage cheese. Cottage cheese and banana in a bowl is also very good as snack.
Second: eggs. I like omelets, and make them with several egg whites and one whole egg, plus cheese (another great source for protein) and vegetables (tomatoes!). Egg whites also in the pancake (which I’ve been eating for lunch a lot lately – with lots of fresh fruit and berries – yummy!).
And cheese – low fat. Lots of protein there too. Warm cheese sandwich with peppers and tomato and mustard. Cheese in salads. Cheese in omelets. Cheese on bread. Cheese on crackers.
I also eat fish – and tuna (in salads with lots of pickles, or on bread with lots of tomatoes – and always a lot of pepper) is a great protein source. Also salmon – which I prefer smoked and on bread or crackers. Shrimps are full of protein and can be eaten with everything. I try to be a bit adventurous with fish when I cook – but I’m really not a great cook! (Not like Jessica). Thankfully I like really simple food – so I do OK. Heh.
Oatmeal also. Plus beans. I’ve never cooked tofu – I have no idea what I should have done with it.

And Jessica is back! Yey! And great going at the gym – it sounds wonderful that you went. And next week off job – it’s your turn to have nice long, lazy days! It’s well deserved!
Hope it works out with your friend too – that would be a nice thing either way – closure or renewed friendship. Have you contacted her yet or are you waiting until next week?

And – heh – yes I do squats with 45lbs! I’m actually a little proud of it – because I don’t have very strong legs. And I’m just lifting the bar – but still!
And good morning Jessica! :D Glad to hear you’re in a good mood: think positive thoughts and good luck going to the gym.

So. Tuesday today. My semester starts tomorrow with a meeting at the university clinic. I’m going to start up with a new patient this semester too – so hopefully there are interesting things ahead.
For the weekend I will go visit my father – and his wife and my two twin half-brothers – so I’m not online Friday through Sunday. I’ll go early Friday morning and come back late Sunday, I think. Not especially looking forward to it – but there’ll hopefully be some good stuff happening too.

Not much to report. Nice weather still – so I’m mostly staying outdoors drinking diet coke! Have a nice Tuesday everybody.

It's almost 3 a.m. here so I'll keep this one real short. My day and evening didn't go as planned. After I got to work I began experiencing abdominal pain in my lower right hip area that continued all day. Since that's where the appendix is, I was a little worried about it, so I went to the urgent care after work. After sticking me 7 times trying to draw blood and turning me into a human pin cushion, they finally got it and ran blood tests. My white cell count was elevated, so they sent me to the ER for a CT scan of my belly, thinking it might be appendicitis. Roughly six hours later (!), the results came back and my appendix, the little dickens, is fine. The doc thinks I might have a ruptured ovarian cyst, which would cause the pain and the elevated cell count. It's been a really long night. I'm glad I didn't have to have surgery, and I'm also glad it was SOMETHING, not just gas pain or something because that would have been embarrassing! Since I'm not dying, I'll have to go to work in the morning. Now I'm REALLY looking forward to my vacation. I'll talk with you guys more tomorrow. I need some SLEEP!

Jessica! So glad that you’re OK! What a terrible day and night you had! Hope you got some sleep and rest – at least you got to sleep in a little I hope? Did they give you something for the pain?
And yes, I bet your vacation is looking better by the minute. You must be completely exhausted!

Renee – I’m just starting on the 30-30-40 plan – and I’m having problems eating enough protein. I thought I would be able to eat more protein bars – but I really haven’t found any I like when I eat more than one of them. After the third or fourth bar (not in the same day of course) they all start to taste artificial and strange (and yucky).
I have to look into powder I think. If I can start off the day with 40-50 grams protein in a shake/smoothie, I should be able to get enough of the stuff.
I have no idea yet whether I will feel better or become stronger. So far I’m more hungry than I’ve ever been.

Good to hear the test at the clinic also came back negative! Good for you.

I’ve sort of had my first day back at school today – just a couple of hours. Then I went to the gym and did lower body.
I think I have to actually *work* on my confidence – it’s doesn’t happen automatically. Set stupid goals like: actually dare to ask the guy using the squat rack (or whatever that thing is called – it’s the thing where the bars are kept) whether he’ll be finished soon, whether I could use the rack too, and just use another bar. Instead I shy away and just wait until nobody is near the thing.
I do feel a bit stupid sometimes, or at least I did today – and it’s not the most productive emotion because it makes me beat up on myself mentally. It’s strange - which emotions make you want to eat. Feeling stupid usually does it for me.
Not that I overate – well, not much I suppose, not calorie-wise, but I don't feel satisfied either.

Ah well. Enough complaints. Glad to hear Jessica is OK! And hopefully free of pain. And that Renee’s tests still are negative. And where is Ang today?

Hi there. This may seem strange but I really didn't realize how long it had been since I posted. Work is just crazy these days so no time during the day. I should be sleeping now but you all are too important. :D

There was so much going on so hitting the highlights.

Jessica - great that you exercised the other day but your experience at the hospital sounds terrible. I had an ovarian cyst once and it was really painful. Are you feeling better? I think doing some planning for your vacation could be a good thing but don't over plan. Allow yourself some time to relax and be flexible so you really enjoy the week off. You deserve it, particularly after your stressful weeks at work.

Renee - I hope you had loads of fun tonight. What sorts of things were you doing? I can relate to not having motivation to try when you feel low. The problem is that you need to do something to pull yourself out of the mood. I think it is great that you drove by McD yesterday. The fact that you splurged after going to the clinic is not a big deal. You are going through something very stressful. Yea that the test was negative - btw. Is there one very little thing in your life (eating or exercising or something healthy) that you could try and concentrate on changing? Sometimes it helps me to focus on one little manageable thing and then if I can be successful at that it helps motivate me to go to another little thing and so on. Make it little and relatively easy to accomplish. Baby steps.

mette - Good job running. I look forward to talking with you more about running later on. I ran today at lunch for 40 minutes. It is pretty hilly around work and it was humid so not the most pleasant run but I am so glad that I went. I did not go to my track workout last night (got a call from an old friend and just didn't have the heart to tell her to call back) so I was determined to get out there today. When I ran before school it never bothered me, like an injury or anything. I did not run as much, 30-45 minutes at my max, and I wore good shoes. I also didn't always run very hard and some days I did intervals. I think mixing it up helped keep me healthy. There was a time when I was pretty dedicated to the running and had a good schedule. It took me a long time to get it though but it did help me lose weight. So I guess I just need to find a new schedule here. As much of a pain as it is, I think I need to pick two days a week to run at work at lunch, no matter what. This will be even more important when the weather gets bad. If I don't make it part of my schedule then there is a better than not chance that I won't do it. You run before work and that is great - I can't seem to get up to run before work. I am thinking running on M and W might work. I'll let you know if I do it next week.

mette - You are right that your behavior won't change or your confidence build without you putting in some effort. Can you pick one thing at a time and consciously try to work on it? Maybe next time you can make yourself talk to one man in the room. Ask him whatever you want - to share bar, weights, move his stuff, anything. It's too easy to just sit back. I know you can do it. You have come this far, this is just the next step. You belong in that gym just as much as they do. Respect yourself and they'll respect you back. Good luck.

I was a vegetarian for about 5 years. I moved to a place where they didn't have many veggies so it was hard to find accommodating restaurants and such. Since I don't cook much I need to be able to get a lot of food 'prepared' and I got sick of trying to figure out how to cook beans. :lol: I also got involved with someone who was not a vegetarian. Long story short, it was a lot easier to just eat meat. I didn't start eating almost anything until I met current bf though. I was eating chicken only basically for years. The new bf is a chef though and I trust him to introduce me to good things. When he cooks for me I eat it and it is usually good. When we go out to eat I let him recommend something or try his stuff - again, usually good. I don't cook meat at home though and unfortunately don't like cottage cheese. I do like eggs though and need to remember to buy them. I eat cheese and try to get lf varieties when possible. Thanks for all of the suggestions though - I'll have to add them to my shopping list. :)

mette - I hope you have a better than anticipated visit this weekend. We will miss you. Any particular reason why you think you won't have a good time?

I was invited to a cousins cookout this Sunday at my brother's house but don't think I am going to go. It is 4 hours of driving and a lot of money for gas to spend with people I don't really know (except my brother and sister-in-law) and don't really care to know. All of my cousins on my father's side are married with kids so I don't fit in. I don't want to answer a lot of questions about the last 2 years of my life and then try to explain the bf situation. I think I'm going to bail and just go visit with my brother sometime by myself. Is that selfish? Also, there is so much to do here and I would just rather be at my house. The veggies have really come in and we are starting to make some money. The tomatoes are starting to fill up our table and things will only get busier. It is so fun. btw - Did I mention that I had a talk (not everything but enough for now) with bf and we hashed some stuff out. He finally assured me (completely sober) that he loved me. :dance: He has been super sweet this past week and we already have plans for the weekend. I hope things keep up this pace and only get better. He said he felt pressured and stressed and that was why he hadn't been telling me earlier. OK, so there are still some issues but I am happy with things right now and willing to see what time brings to this relationship. I think he realized that he almost lost me this past week and he doesn't want that at all. If nothing else, I am not obsessing about him now so I have been able to concentrate on myself a little. Eating not too bad. I have been doing the cereal for breakfast, an 11am snack, lunch is fruit and sandwich, and controlled dinner with lots of fresh veggies! I have also implemented a protein bar at 4 or 5pm and it has worked wonders in keeping my hunger down so I don't run into the house eating everything in site. I am eating the cookies 'n cream Advant Edge bars. They are the Body for Life brand.

Sorry for babbling so much about myself in this post. Jessica - I hope you are feeling better today. Renee - how did today go for you? mette - tell us more about what you are doing at school and this patient?

Goodnight ladies. Ang

Hey ladies! I would have checked in earlier but work pulled a loop on me. They shut down my internet (Which I use to send and receive confirmations and find other data) because they claim I spend all day 'chatting' on it. Yes, I chat and check websites - just like all the other employees. I also get more work done than they do and am the first person on the phone que line- which I just found out. It's rather irritating, as I am covering all the calls/orders from the lady who is out, that I should also be the first person on the call tree. It'd be more fair for the calls to ring through to whomever was off the phone for the longest amount of time. They are going to look into changing that. So they ganked my access to 'test productivity' without my having 'a distraction'. Gah, I really think a big job move is in my future.

Just yesterday they told me that I cannot have my vacation days that I have planned for my cruise because I dont have enough left. I am given 10. I've used 2.5 and have asked for 8. (Big deal, 1/2 day over) What they did, was take away my vacation time for the days I was sick that went over the 'five alotted sick days' we get. I used 7... so therefore I am now 2.5 overdrawn. OMG. They even threatened me by saying, "You can either accept that's how it is, or we can fire you." (So, I am taking my time off at the end of this month - my sanity break, and then going on my cruise. If they'd rather fire me and pay unemployment for however long that lasts, instead of missing me for two days (I even suggested they give it to me unpaid and they refused) then so be it. Maybe that'll be the big sign that I need, the famous 'pushed from the nest' move.
Ok sorry heh, end rant there.

Food and diet have slipped A LOT!!! Good news is, that the diet I had wanted to try (South Beach) but figured out that it just wouldn't work with my limited access to the kitchen.... Wweeeelll. My diabetic brother in law, (Who has more sweets in this house than my sister or I do combined) went to his doctor who said "Lose weight or die." (He has put weight on every year since being diagnosed with diabetes, it's just not good.) Then the doctor said, "I'd recommend the South Beach Diet." Sooo my sister is going to do it. She's gonna cook it. All I have to do is, help cook, help supply recipes (I already told her about this website - which, grr, if she joins, I gotta hide those posts about my previous worries, she thinks I am uh, a little saint??) HAHAHAHA. And I think I can pull it off. We are gonna start it AFTER my dad leaves town, because it will be too hard to monitor what we are doing and enjoy his time here with being so strict. But, I am really excited about it!!

I am heading skating on Friday night. And horseback riding on Sat. So I have a weekend full of fun and active things planned. Tomorrow, I think I am going to drag--- scratch that. Going to happily trot myself to the gym after work. There, positive thinking. :)

To bed for me now though, and hopefully I will have net access tomorrow at work!!

Hi everyone!

I am feeling much better, thank you for everyone's thoughts and wishes... I'm very tired, even though I did sleep in this morning and only worked 6 hours today. The end of tomorrow can not come fast enough for me, I'll tell you that much. I didn't eat anything today, and then had my first real non-authorized splurge tonight. I went to the ATM to get cash and realized I had left my card at the hospital when I paid my co-pay, so I ended up at the place I wanted to be at the least- back at the ER! There's a Foster's Freeze down the street from the hospital (I actually worked there for 2 years in high school) and I went there to get dinner. When I overeat, I sure to it right! Of course the funny thing is that I probably was still around the same amount of calories today as my good days, I just ate a bunch of junk. I wanted it, I enjoyed it, and I know why I felt the need to have it. Tomorrow is a new day.

Ang: I'm so glad things are going well and there seems to be more communication between you and the bf. I hope you guys enjoy your weekend together! I was a vegitarian too, but not for nearly as long as you were. It helped me with my weight loss for the same reasons it frustrated you- I really couldn't find anything to eat out, so I was forced to prepare my own meals. Now I guess I have the best of both worlds. It's really nice to have you back; it's not the same around here without ya!

Mette: I think you should do what Ang suggested and pick one time to open up and assert yourself at the gym. Just asking to share a piece of equipment would be a great step for you. I haven't yet worked out in the "real" weight room, since I just did cardio on Monday, but I do intend to get lots of gym time in next week, so I will make an effort to branch out. I'll let you know how it goes. Congrats on starting the new semester, too. You'll have to share what you're learning with us! And we certainly will miss you this weekend. Hope it goes ok.

Renee: Maybe your work situation will push you to find something new. It's definitely no fun being stuck in a job where you're unhappy. I complain about mine alot, but it's not the work I don't like, it just gets very busy and stresses me out. In fact today I had a client tell me that I have "a great attitude and demeanor to work in a place like this." But I think sometimes, I'm too nice and try too hard, that's why it gets me so stressed. I am very happy to not be in a sales department; I've done that before and really disliked it. I hope you find something that makes you happy.

Anyway, I need to get to bed. I still don't feel fully recovered and I'm starting to feel like I'm getting a cold too, so I know I need more rest. What a wuss I am! Have a good night all!

Ang – very good to hear about your lunch time run yesterday. I think success depends on getting these things into our schedules too.
When you do the same exercise often, I’m sure you’re right that it helps to mix it up a bit. Maybe I should think a little about that for my jogging – I’m starting to get bored with no progress – so maybe I should try intervals for a couple of mornings.

Me being avoidant at the gym – it would be a good goal to just talk to somebody there. But I have to have a reason – I’m not going to invent something or ask for help on things I don’t need help on (not the way to get respect I’m guessing). What I need is to become aware of how avoidant I am in the situation, and then recognize it when it’s happening the next time. It *is* easier to just sit back. So next time I’ll try not to do that.

And Ang - I can understand you got sick of beans if most of your meals were based on beans. I don’t eat it very often – I don’t really like it that much either. As far as I’ve found, soy beans and lentils are the ones highest in protein (but the soy beans are also high in fat) – so I think I’ll have to look into ways I can eat those. Soy beans – are they used in salads? Stews? Casseroles? Anybody know?
I haven’t eaten meat for more than 5 years now – and it hasn’t been very difficult either. Probably because I still eat fish and seafood. :)

Heh. Getting yourself a BF who is a cook was probably not the smartest thing to do when you’re trying to lose weight! :D But I must say – it does sound wonderful to be introduced to new and exciting food on a regular basis!

Visiting your brother by yourself sometimes sounds like a good idea to me. I don’t think it’s selfish at all – you should spend your time with people you like – that’s my golden rule. My parents are two of my exceptions to the rule (oy!), but cousins are not included in the whole ‘family-responsibility-thing’ for me. I just don’t feel the ties to my family very strongly, and we’ve never been a particular close family.
I don’t much like visiting either of my parents actually. But because they *do* fall in under the whole ‘family-responsibility-thing’, I *do* visit them. Not often, and I always keep it as short as possible – but I do go. Once a year is more than enough for me – and it’s a compromise I can live with.
I always feel guilty about it btw – I feel like the worst daughter ever, etc – since I don’t like visiting either of them.
But that’s just how things are too, I suppose. I always have to try to minimize stress and guilt when I go there.

I’m so glad you’re enjoying your vegetables Ang! And that you and the BF are having a better time! The stress levels are coming down in your private life at least? Great to hear the eating is going better too.

Renee – work doesn’t sound like a good place for you recently. Maybe looking around for other jobs would be a good thing to start focusing on. And ranting is always OK (and welcomed) here! ;)

Sorry to hear about your BIL – hope he’ll do better once you all start focusing on healthy eating. The three of you getting back on the diet, and supporting each other, sounds very good. I’m sure you’ll do great! When does your father leave?

Jessica – hope you get through today at work. About the splurge – you’re really having a great attitude about it – and you’re right: it’s 'bygones'. Concentrate on today.
Looking forward to hear your experiences at the gym too Jessica, although you’re probably not so intimidated by the gym since you used to work out a lot?

I went out jogging this morning – since it’s Thursday, and I do that on Thursdays. ;) Then, since tomorrow is Friday and I should be at the gym but won’t be – I went to the gym today instead. And did upper body. So even if I’m not getting any exercise done tomorrow or Saturday – at least I’m on plan with the gym.

I’m not expecting a weight loss when I go on the scale on Monday – I’ve been so hungry this week, and I have eaten max every day. And going away this weekend will probably mean extra food too. We’ll see Monday morning, but I’m not holding my breath.
Have a nice Thursday everybody! :smug:

Renee - Your job really sounds terrible. No internet? Yikes! Are you in a position where you could look for a new job? It definitely sound like this job is causing you a lot of unneeded stress. When does your father leave? This arrangement with your sister sounds great. You'll get help and support. I take it you live with your sister and brother-in-law. I'm really excited for you. It is so much easier to accomplish things when you have support. On-line is great but in person is so much better. Is there anyone else in the house? If not, then with all of you doing the same diet you should be able to really control what foods are in the house. Keep us posted.
Your weekend plans sounds great. I wish I could go horseback riding. Well, I guess I could but not going to happen right now. Are you going skating at a rink or something? Inline or ice? Good luck getting to the gym. Let us know if you go.

Jessica - so glad that you are feeling better. No worries with the eating. Sometimes there are more important things to deal with then being choosy about what food you eat. It's done so just move on and get all better. I know you'll be right back on track. Thanks for the kind words. I hope this weekend goes well. I will do my best to check in but while I am at bf's house there is no internet. Keep your fingers crossed for me that we have truly made progress and that we have any awesome weekend. btw - you are definitely not a wuss. You need a little time to recover from your trauma and just to recover from the stresses in your life. Give yourself permission to relax and enjoy the extra sleep.

Jessica and mette - why did you become vegetarians? Jessica - why did you give it up? You are lucky that you are a good cook so you can make whatever you want, with meat or without. I didn't eat fish or anything when I was a veggie. I even read labels to make sure there were NO animal ingredients. mette - I am actually a much better eater when I hang out more with bf. He cooks well balanced and relatively healthy meals. Over the winter I would eat with him 3 or 4 evening a week and always felt so much better. If only I hadn't ate crap the other days. I was also not exercising then. If he cooked for me all the time I would be much more satisfied and would probably eat less, eat better and lose weight. That's not going to happen anytime soon so I'll just enjoy the evenings he does cook. I love eating real home cooked stuff, especially not by myself.

I don't know anything about actually eating soy beans. I only know about having soy in things or eating tofu made with soy beans. You may want to try tofun. It is good in a stir fry if you have a sauce so it can absorb the taste. I actually bbq it a couple of times. I still eat very little meat so I am always looking for protein ideas that aren't meat. I do have a bunch of canned beans though that are just sitting in my cabinet because my mother bought them for me and I'm not sure what to do with them. :lol:

mette - I have noticed lately too that I can't measure if I am making any progress with my running. Sometimes I think I am getting worse. Tonight I ran 40 minutes while at the farm. I have done the route before and extended it but today my legs said no more. I think it is recommended to do an interval day once a week or once every two weeks if you are not running too often. Both of us will have to look at what we're doing, maybe September?, and maybe help each other with a plan. I know one thing I am doing is signing up for a couple of 5k races. It is a good goal and a chance to get official times to see if any progress has been made.

I would definitely agree mette that you don't want to fabricate anything at the gym. I just meant that it doesn't matter what you say to them, the important part is to make the effort to talk to someone. As you said, just be aware of situations that you shy away from and make that conscious effort to talk. You may be surprised at how nice the people are. At worst, you meet a couple of jerks and just write them off and move on.

I definitely decided not to go see family on Sunday. I agree totally with mette. I'm sorry mette that you don't get along better with your parents. At least once a year isn't too bad. Let us know how the weekend went.

Congratulations and kudos to mette for going jogging and going to the gym today. You are doing great with the weights. I need to find some of your dedication. I think right now it is hard enough for me to get a schedule for running though. One things at a time. Good foryou though. Maybe you could get in some walking while you are gone.

I definitely think eating better is easier when the bf thing is better. I'll take advantage while I can. I have been eating fresh veggies almost every night. I at an eggplant today (plus some little tomatoes picked off of the plant) and have a tomato for lunch tomorrow. Yum. I figure that I can eat all I want since they are veggies. Right?

mette - you are doing wonderfully even if the scale doesn't move on Monday. It sounds like your body is really starting to burn fuel, making you extra hungry. There is nothing wrong with being at the top of your range. Remember that muscle weighs more and when you start exercising/lifting sometimes your body retains extra water in the muscles for the first couple of weeks making weight loss difficult. Also, don't worry about eating this weekend. I ahve faith that you will make good choices and probably won't eat nearly as badly as you fear. It is more important that you enjoy the weekend and don't stress too much.

Recap for me today - I am posting food again for my sake and if you have comments I would love to hear them as I am no expert on food.

Breakfast - cereal with blueberries (no nuts these days)
Lunch - chicken salad sandwich with piece of cheese on hard roll, tortellini salad (food provided by work - couldn't pass up a free lunch) and an extra roll :(
snack - protein bar
dinner - tomatoes, eggplant (small thin kind),Linda McCartney frozen dinner (Thai noodles with fake chicken), pecans (10 halves?)

Ang

P.S. I just looked at my post - I'll try to shorten them in the future. My fingers just get going and I can't stop them. :lol:

Happy Friday everyone!

I feel almost normal this morning. Today is my Friday off, so my vacation has officially begun! Yay!! Well, sort of... I tried to get everything done and my desk cleared off yesterday and worked until 7:30 p.m. and still didn't get everything finished, so I need to go in for a little bit sometime this weekend. I can't believe how much work we've had lately. Mike got home yesterday and we're planning on going to the fair today. I think it's going to be another bad eating day, but you have to have all that good food when you go to the fair, right?

Ang: I really enjoy your posts, so don't shorten them because you feel you have to. It's great to know what is going on in your life and you're so supportive of everyone, so don't worry about it. It's really good that you've noticed your eating gets better when your emotional life is going well- although this can't always be the case, I agree that you should take advantage of it while you can and maybe during these times it can become more of a habit for you. Your lunch probably could have been better yesterday, but I know exactly how you feel about not wanting to pass up a free lunch! In my last department, we'd order lunch in for meetings twice a month, and I was making such little money that it was a really good deal to get free food! I think your decision to not go to the family get together was a good one. Spend some quality time with your brother when you can and enjoy your time alone with him. I actually have a family thing to go to next weekend in Fresno, which is about a 4 hour drive from here. And most of the people who will be there are cousins I see MAYBE once a year, but it's at my favorite aunt's house, so I'm looking forward to seeing her and my uncle. Problem is, it's like 105 degrees there. I'm just thankful they have air conditioning! I hope you have a great weekend with your bf and everything goes well. You seem much happier these days. On the vegitarian thing: I guess I stopped because I was getting sick a lot and thought that might have had something to do with it. I started back slow, with fish like tuna and worked up from there. I also didn't eat any animal products except milk and eggs, so it was a pretty drastic lifestyle change for me at the time. It does make it hard when you're in a relationship with someone who eats meat, especially when you're doing the cooking. Mike is such a meat eater, so it would be hard for me. I still enjoy soy products though, and should probably eat them more often. The soybeans that I've had that weren't processed are the "edamame" at sushi restaurants. You can also buy them frozen in their pods. They taste really good with a little salt and you can eat them like you would nuts, just pop them out of the pods and eat them plain.

Mette: I will join Ang in telling you what an awsome job you are doing with your eating and exercising. You are certainly helping to inspire the rest of us and I appreciate that! You did very well to run and lift weights yesterday. I'm pretty sure the increased hunger is a really good sign, because you're metabolism is probably picking up. As far as if I'm intimidated at the gym: it's kind of like the grocery thing I was telling you about before. I was very confident when I was in great shape, but now I have that nagging voice telling me that everyone is going to think I'm the poor fat girl trying to lose weight and feel sorry for me or think I don't know what I'm doing. I do a pretty good job of drowning that voice out, but it's still there. That's why it helps me to focus on my form, because I really do the exercises correctly, and to have a plan when I go in, written down on my 3x5 card. I feel more confident then.

I'll certainly miss you both this weekend! Of course I'll be around more next week since I won't be at work, so we'll catch up then. So far I have a couple of scheduled things I need to do, but overall just some general things I'd like to do for myself:

Today: Fair
Saturday: Vet for the kitten
Sunday: Work for 2 hours
Next Friday: Drive to Fresno for the weekend

Clean house, move and organize furnature, swim, run at the track, exercise at the gym, lunch with girlfriends, get hair done, lay by the pool and read, manicure and pedicure, facial (all at home, of course) motorcycle riding with my step-dad (did I ever mention I ride motorcycles?), gardening (start herb garden), farmer's market, coffee and reading at Starbucks, walk at the beach

That's all I can think of right now, but that's a lot of stuff. I'm really looking forward to doing some good stuff for me.

Renee: How are you doing today? Did you get your internet back? I'm so glad your sister and brother-in-law are going to watch what they eat. That was your big hurdle, and now they are on board with you! That's awsome. I hope your BIL does well on the diet and will be ok.

Allright, time to get moving. Hope everyone has a great Friday!

Happy Vacation Jessica!

Where is Renee? I hope things are going better at work.

Jessica - I am so relieved that you are feeling better. I can't believe you have to work this weekend though. Do you think you will be at the office for very long? I hope not. You deserve the relaxation and to not have to think about work. :coffee:

Yippee that Mike came home. I hope you have a wonderful time at the fair. What type of fair is it? Do you have favorite fair foods? I like funnel cakes but otherwise don't go crazy over fair food. I guess I'm lucky that way. I hope you enjoyed though and don't feel guilty. If you are going to eat the food then go ahead and thoroughly enjoy it. :D

Thanks for reminding me about soy nuts. I used to get them at a health food store in VA. I think I need to find a health food store around here. I can tell I need to shop because I am running out of my staples. I had to have a SlimFast shake this morning because I ran out of berries and it was too wet to go pick any. Lunch was my sandwich from yesterday (health nut bread, chicken breast and lf cheese), carrots, apple and a little macaroni salad (work provided and too much mayo - should have passed but...). I'm assuming bf will cook tonight but we'll see. I am trying to take advantage of the better swing in attitude. Let's hope I can continue it. I am hoping to run in the morning while bf runs an errand that I'm not invited to go on. No problem, the run is probably better for me. :D

I hope you have a good time next weekend. I think it makes all the difference when you are going to see some people that you truly want to see. Will Mike go with you? I have not heard a response from my sil - I hope they are not mad that I'm not coming. Too bad even if they are.

mette and Jessica - a different perspective on how we feel when in the gym. When I see someone larger than me working out (gym or on street) I am impressed and wish them all the best because they are out there trying to get healthier. Most fit people were unfit at some point and understand the difficulty of the journey. Everyone is at the gym for basically the same reason and I hope that most people are supportive of others efforts. The muscle heads that aren't supportive are jerks and not worth worrying about. You go show them what you can do!

Jessica, it sounds like you have a lot of good things planned for the week. I hope you are able to do all you want to do and nothing if that's what you decide. I'll try to check in tomorrow.

Have a great night!

Morning all,

I know you won't read this until Monday, but I thought I'd check in and say hi anyway. Yesterday was a really good day! Mike and I went to the county fair for a few hours, bought some trinkets we didn't really need, ate some food we didn't really need, looked at the animals/livestock :moo: (the baby calf was the cutest thing!) and just walked around and looked at stuff. It was really nice. After that, he took me to buy me a new computer! Wow, what a nice guy, huh? I'd been complaining about my old laptop I used for months because it had a horrible habit of crashing all the time. He said he didn't want me to be frustrated anymore, and bought me a new one. It's not a laptop, but it has pretty much all the bells and whistles and was reasonably priced, so I let him get it for me. He laughs at me because he practically has to force me to let him do nice things for me. I tell him I'm just low maintenance. Anyway, I spent last night cleaning up the computer area (my dining room table) and setting up the new toy, loading software, etc. So far it's been behaving perfectly, plays DVDs, burns CDs, has great speakers, and is very fast. I'm thrilled. :cp:

I didn't eat as much junk at the fair as I was anticipating, which was good. I had a polish sausage sandwich, fries, a regular Pepsi, and a carmel apple. :cbg: Dinner was just a ww tortilla quesadilla with salsa and guacamole. Not good, but not really terrible either. I've been thinking, though, that maybe "free days" aren't so good for me, since it seems that I have less resolve to eat healthy the following week. Maybe it's like an alcoholic who can never have another drink lest he falls off the wagon. Just something for me to think about. :chin:

Today I take the kitten to the vet for his rabies shot, and I really need to get groceries. Other than that, no big plans.

Renee: You weren't around yesterday; I hope everything is ok! Check in when you have a chance.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend so far. I expect a full report on Monday! ;)

Hi Jessica - I am here so I am glad you wrote. I am so happy that you had a good day yesterday. The fair sounds like loads of fun. You are so lucky to have such a nice man in your life. Good for you that you let him do nice things for you once in a while. You deserve it. Anyway, you need a computer so you can write to us. :D

Please let us know what you decide about your free days. Do you feel like you are forcing yourself to eat unhealthy on the free days? If you have truly made lifestyle changes, which it sounds like you have, then each day should be like the last and the next. I would just say that once in a while you should indulge in things that you truly want at that time (like at the fair). You shouldn't force yourself to free eat just because you can though. It is something to think about, why you eat 'worse' the week after. Hmmm.... :?:

My report on the first half of the weekend is that bf was in no hurry to see me last night (he had errands and did not want me to join him) so we didn't get together until almost 9pm. :( Good news is that I saw an old friend at the farm that I had been missing for a couple of weeks. It was nice to catch up. She bought a bike so we might go mountain biking together, which would be fun. bf and I watched a movie (a bad movie) and 1/2 of another one. Bed and then when we woke up he was off to do more errands (again without me). I spent the day jogging (43 minutes) and doing my own thing on the farm. The old man (the farmer who owns the property) was there the whole time and we would talk during my breaks. The veggie stand was not busy but I got to pick some veggies and sold a couple of things. It is a little disappointing that more people did not stop by since it is Saturday and the weather was beautiful. bf came back to land and I watched him fix a tractor. OK, so maybe it doesn't sound like fun to you gals but I love learning about things and I don't know a whole lot about tractors. I also like spending the day in my farming jeans and getting dirty. I am so not girly. :lol: bf was off to have dinner with friends (of course, I was not invited - getting the theme here :dizzy: ) and I came home to my house. Eating was not great today - heat and unstructured routine does that to me. No breakfast (not totally comfortable making my own breakfast at bf's house), lunch was a lot of Bing cherries, half a roll, 1 bbq chicken tender, a tiny bit of chocolate muffin, a couple of munchos. Dinner was the rest of lunch basically with an eggplant instead of fruit. I could have done without the muffin though as it is sitting in my stomach like a ton of bricks. I think maybe I have been eating a little better and my stomach doesn't appreciate it when I eat total crap. Could this be? I can only hope so. I will try to remember this feeling the next time.

Oh, I also forgot to mention the two diet pepsi and run. Not proud of this but I was/am just so upset that I put up with the **** I do from bf. I am just mad at myself for not taking the time to make my own life. I just don't like my life and would rather be a part of other people's. I know it's pathetic but I'm trying to be honest with myself (and you all).

Tonight is just me, the computer and the television. If I'm up for it I will go running at 7am (6 miles) with friends. As much as I don't want to get up, I think it would be good for me to see some people and try to strengthen the new friendships I am trying to build.

Jessica- enjoy your relaxing weekend. I hope your kitten is fine. I just got a new vet for my two cats. They go in for their yearly shots in 10 days. I hope the vet is nice. And aren't cats just so cute - especially as kittens? :)

Hi Ang,

I'm so glad you posted too! I just got up from a late afternoon nap. I've been so tired lately! It's not unusual for me, in general, but I've had so much energy since I've been losing weight, it's more noticable when I'm feeling on the lethargic side. Yawn!

Your day hanging out on the farm sounds so relaxing and enjoyable. I don't think it sounds weird at all. When I was a kid, my grandpa always had a large garden. He grew tomatoes, strawberries, onions, grapes, persimmons, and a lot I'm sure I can't remember. He even had a "worm farm" where he cultivated worms to use fishing. I loved watching him out there, and digging the worms out of the ground with him. ewwww... My favorite summer memory was eating the fresh tomatoes he grew, standing over the sink with a salt shaker eating them like apples. They were so good! I'm glad you enjoyed your day there.

As far as the bf is concerned, I don't think I need to point out to you how awful he's being. When you describe your time with him, it comes accross like more of an inconvenience than a relationship. I'm all for having independence when you're a couple, but you have to have the "couple" part to have the independence from it. I don't think your relationship is completely to blame for how you feel about yourself, but it's no wonder your self-esteem is low when you're being left out of his life and left behind like that. Anyway, that's my rant on that, I just have been in similar situations and I know it can be really unpleasant.

I hope you're ok tonight and enjoy your time at home. The run in the morning sounds like just the thing; I really hope you make it. You're inspiring me to look for similar groups in my area; I'd like to meet some new people that I have something in common with.

And the kitties: yes, they are so cute. My kitten is about 4 months now, so he's getting bigger, and he's such a little monster sometimes, but so adorable. I'll try to post some pictures on my blog.

I didn't go shopping today, so it was another less than desireable food day. I'll get back on track this next week and will have time to exercise, too! Let me know how your run goes tomorrow. Have a great night!

Good morning all!

Hope it's been a good weekend for everyone. I got very organized this morning and used a program on my new computer to plan my meals for the week, write my shopping list and set a schedule for my week off. Whether or not I actually stick to the schedule has yet to be seen, but at least I've tried! I'm getting ready to go into work for a bit (ack, yuck, I don't wanna...) and do the shopping. I think this afternoon will be family time- I'll go visit my folks and my grandparents, the gratuitous weekly visits. Sometimes I really do wish I lived further away.

Ang, did you have your run this morning? I hope you did and that you enjoyed it. Were you going to see the bf today?

I don't have much to report. My weekends tend to be so mundane, it's pretty much the same routine every week. I need to get out more...

Looking forward to getting everyone's updates on the weekend tomorrow. Talk to you all then!

Hi guys – you’ve been busy posting this weekend! Great to come back and see you both have had good weekends! But where is Renee?
I just got back home: I’m tired and hungry – and very glad to be home! ;)
A short post just to say hi!

Ang – nice to hear you had a good day at the farm – and yes, you should get the BF to cook for you everyday! :D Your eating is looking good, and your exercising is looking great: both running and biking! Great work!
And don’t shorten your posts! I like your posts long! Just like Jessica do! :D
Sorry that the BF-thing didn’t go so well; that he doesn’t invite you with him. Is it that he’s not used to having girlfriends, do you think? If that’s the case, you will have to tell him what’s expected from him as a BF! ;)
And it's not pathetic that you want to be part of his life. I mean, he’s your BF! Of course you should want to be part of his life! I totally agree with Jessica (on her rant)!

Jessica – how great that you’ve started your vacation! Your plans for the week sound so great! And the motorcycle riding sounds best of all!
Nice to hear you had a good weekend - the fair sounded like the perfect weekend-thing to do. And congratulations on your new computer (and the nice BF who gave it to you!) :D
It’s interesting what you’re saying about the free day – I’ve seen people think different things about it. You think that by eating a lot on Sunday (do you weigh in on Sunday morning?) – you eat more the rest of the week too?
What I see is that the weigh-in I do on Monday mornings effects my eating – with good results I eat better that week. It’s a bit strange, but I suppose it’s about being motivated by good results.

As for my weekend: I’ll talk more about it later – but exercise and eating did not go well. I didn’t get anything done exercise-wise Friday and Saturday, today I’ll do yoga. I need to get my body to relax and de-stress! ;)
I tried – really tried – to make good choices with food, but I didn’t do so well. It has something to do with having bad food to choose from: the food was full-fat, white, no-grains, sugared, no fruits, lots of dressing on all the vegetables – and with me trying to be polite and eat what I’m being served.
Even if I tried to restrict myself and not eat much – trying to eat fewer calories on that kind of food only leaves me hungry. I mean, how can you get full on white bread? I would have to eat half a bread to get to a point where I feel satisfied. One slice of bread feels like nothing when eaten!

Ah well. I’m home now. Tomorrow is the start of another week where I’ll eat the good stuff – proper food – every day. Lots of vegetables, my oatmeal for breakfast, low-fat cheese and lots of fruits and berries! :D

And Ang and Jessica – you are both so supportive and say so nice things about my exercising and eating, I want to thank you for that. I’ve been a bit worried the last couple of weeks because I’ve been so hungry all the time – and I know I can’t live like that for a long period of time. So I’ll see this week – I’ll eat more protein and maybe more calories too.
Talk to you guys later! It's so good to be back! :smug:

Good evening ladies!

The weekend is over and I'm still feeling relaxed, not running around trying to get my life in order before Monday! I am so happy I decided to take this time off. I thought I'd let you know I posted on my blog tonight, and also posted a picture of Colby (my kitten) in all of his relaxing cat glory. Hope you guys like the photo. I have another similar one of his bigger, older twin (Colby is like the "Mini-Me" of Mr. Red) that I will have to post. They are the most relaxed creatures on the planet, for sure! :cool:

mette: I'm so glad you're home! :) I'm sorry your weekend wasn't good. I know what you mean about the junk food. I think it's just a vicious cycle with nutritionally dificient food. They have more calories, and then you eat more of them to feel satisfied. Ugh. I know you'll get right back on track; in fact it's good for you to see just how awful it makes you feel. Makes your healthy eating all that more appealing. What is your school schedule like now? Are you working and/or going to classes part time? Will you still have time for yourself and your gym and running routine? How was your yoga today? I was thinking about checking our class schedule at the gym and maybe trying to squeeze in a yoga class this week. That's a good idea! ;)

I finally did my grocery shopping today. I feel so much better now that my fridge is cleaned out and stocked with healthy food again. I have my meals planned out for the week and hopefully didn't overshop- that's one thing I run into, especially with veggies; I buy too much and 1/2 of it goes bad. Anyway, I'm looking forward to a cleansing week of good food and exercise.

Ang: How was your Sunday? I thought about you today, and wish there was more I could do to help you right now. I know we're all strangers here, but I really want the best for you and hope that you will always come to us when you're struggling. I know that you guys help me a lot. :grouphug:

I hope Renee is ok. Do you think the internet police banned her from the web entirely? :(

Anyway, I'll be around this week more than usual, so if I'm posting too much, tell me to quit typing! :lol:

Hope everyone has a wonderful week.

P.S.- I weighed in today and thankfully, have not gained despite taking the road paved with junkfood the last two weeks. Didn't lose either but I was just happy to maintain... :p

PPS: I'm posting an article I read on ivillage.com tonight. Although I think it's already stuff we know, I thought it was really interesting. All of us are working through the steps outlined in the article, and I think we're on the right path!

Nite all!

__________________________________________________ ____________

Study Highlights Keys to Weight Loss
They include readiness to take action, and increased self-confidence

-- Robert Preidt


THURSDAY, Aug. 5 (HealthDayNews) -- Similar patterns that led to consistent changes in behavior were identified in 18 women who successfully lost weight, a new study finds.

The weight loss ranged from 15 to 144 pounds for at least a year, according to the Yale University study in a recent issue of Nursing Science Quarterly.

The 18 women lost 10 percent of their body weight and kept that weight off for at least a year. The study identified six similar patterns among the women. They included:

Before losing weight, the women were self-conscious, vulnerable and unaware of events that contributed to their weight gain.

The women recognized their problem, displayed a readiness to take action, and decided to make changes.

The women took control and actively engaged in behavior change.

The women incorporated new behaviors, used some type of support system to reinforce their behavior changes, and displayed increased confidence, self-esteem and control of their lives.

"Participants moved fluidly through one pattern to the next and many times fell back to a previous pattern before moving on. Once participants moved to the sixth pattern, they were able to maintain weight loss," study author Diane Berry, a postdoctoral fellow at Yale School of Nursing, said in a prepared statement.

All 18 women had memberships in a weight-loss support program and incorporated exercise into their lifestyles.

"The women who maintained their weight loss were more aware of their trigger foods and portion sizes, and they all exercised regularly. They also recognized it is something they will have to work at for the rest of their lives," Berry said.

Jessica – hope you’re having a great Monday morning today! No stupid office to run off to or anything!
Ang – hope you’re having a great Monday morning also – although yours is probably spent at work or on the way over…
Still no Renee?

And hey – nobody has ever posted too much here! Will you guys quit saying things like that! ;)
Write long and often, both of you!

Jessica, the article was very good – taking control, changing behavior, exercising – just like what we’re doing! Just confirming we do it right – yey!

My schedule starts off with full days at school this week. After having a week completely off, I’m going from 0 to 100. Which is fine.
I’ll have a job as a TA this semester too, but it doesn’t start up until early September – I think. And in addition to the psychology-program I’m going to do an extra class on gender and literature on a different faculty – just because I want to. I’ve done some feminism/gender classes before – and every time they start up with new ones I try to make time for it. This year it’s literature, and I haven’t done that before – so hopefully it will be fun.
My running and gym routine – I don’t think that will be a problem – I’ll continue running on Tuesday/Thursday mornings – and do the gym in afternoons instead of mornings. It’ll probably be a lot more people there – but that only means that I’ll get more chances to confront my anxieties and fears – and talk to people, right??? ;)
The biggest challenge will be food I think – I will have to pack lunch and possibly two small meals every day. Protein bar and a fruit for one of the small meals, maybe? Home-made bread w/cheese& peppers and a fruit or carrot for lunch? I don’t know yet. I’ll have to start making bread again too, for the last week I’ve been eating oatmeal pancake for lunch every opportunity I found! Heh.

Ah well. It’ll be nice to get started again I suppose. As for the weekend – I suppose it’s quite obvious that I don’t have the best and closest relationships with my parents by now. They got divorced when I was about 20, and I got really, really disappointed in both of them – they behaved really stupidly toward each other – and tried to pull everybody else into it too. Childish and egoistic and cruel and …. the list just goes on and on. I haven’t liked them much since actually.
Anyway. My father got married again and had two children – my half-brothers. They’re twins and about 9 years now. I like my stepmother quite well, but the children not so much. I think they’re spoiled and whiny – but it could be just me.
I had another brother that I grew up with – he was two years older than me, and was married and had 4 children, but he died in an accident 4 years ago. My sister in law and her children (my nieces and nephews) live in the same town as my father, so I got to visit her too this weekend. And her children I actually like! ;)
Well. It’s done. I’m home.

Now. As for the weight – the scale was surprisingly kind this morning. Maybe it had something to do with eating little, getting my period before the weekend, fluctuations, I don’t know. But I’m starting to think that I don’t want to lose more weight. I know I planned to lose weight through October, but right now I think I’m changing that plan. When I get to 183 I will have lost 60lbs in total, and I’ll go on to maintaining that for at least 9 months instead.
I’m having a lot of mixed feelings lately: my body feels both different and the same – I feel both thinner and fat – I look at my self and sometimes I don’t see any change, other times I see changes.
I have always struggled with figuring out how to deal with my body when it changes. It’s part of the yoyo-pattern too. The underlying feeling is that I don’t want my body to change. I want my body to be stable, solid, and the one thing I can depend on. The other side is of course that I want to be thin – so getting thin and getting used to change is a very slow process.
And I think this is right for me: to slow down when I’m starting to feel like the ground under me is slipping a little; I need to use some time to get my balance back. And at 183 I still will have lost 25lbs since April. So yes, I think it’s time to go back to maintaining and try to figure out how I’ll get used to my body again.

Anyway – talking about long posts! And look: I’m not saying I’ll post shorter next time!!! :D
Hope everybody is having a great Monday!

Good morning guys!

Well, I kept looking at the clock this morning as it neared 8 a.m., feeling like I was going to be late for work. Ha ha, jokes on them! So far I haven't been terribly productive, although I did manage to make a Western Union payment on my car (which in all of my chaos last week I forgot to put in the mail- the check is written and the envelope is stamped and everything... major blonde moment.) I'm getting ready to start cleaning house. I know, not a very "vacation-ey" thing to do, but I know if my house is clean, I'll enjoy the rest of my week a lot more. And i actually woke up at 6:30 this morning. Amazing how easy it is to get up early when you know you don't "have" to do anything!

Renee: So glad everything is ok. Sounds like you had an awsome weekend! We saw all the horses at the fair on Friday; they are so beautiful and I would love to go riding. Maybe I'll make that one of my rewards, maybe at 30 lbs.? And the Ren faire- I go every year to the big one here in So. Cal. in San Bernadino. We also get dressed up and everything. Our costumes are a collaborative effort (as only one of us really sews). I didn't get to go this year because of the sick-cat incedent, which is also what caused my fallout with my friend. I still don't know if they had a good time. I know for sure there was a lot of drinking and corrousing, though!

mette: You are so in-tune with yourself and your body. I really admire that. And your patience and understanding with yourself is to be applauded. So many of us want instant gratification, or it just doesn't feel worth the effort. I assume this approach was developed through years of trial and error? Sixty pounds is really amazing. And that you're either losing/maintaining at all times. Maintaining is the hard part, isn't it? As far as your parents are concerned, I can see where you would somewhat lose respect for them when you describe what their divorce was like. As for me, my parents were divorced when I was six, and mom married my step-father about a year later. They will celebrate their 20th anniversary this September and my brother and I are going to take them to a little coastal town called Cambria for their anny. It's their favorite vacation spot. It was my idea, but he's the one with the money, so big bro rented a house for 5 days. I don't know how much fun it will be for me (Mike's not going) but maybe the quality time with them will be good. I adore my brother, so time spent with him is always good.

Anyway, this is all just stalling my cleaning efforts (purposfully, of course!) so I better wrap it up. Have a good Monday, all.

And Ang, hope you're alright. Drop us a post when you can, k?

Sorry I was gone again. Sometimes I just can't look at my computer at home and there is no time at work these days for work, let alone e-mail. I need to get some sleep so I'm just letting you know that I am here. I will catch up tomorrow. Glad to see mette and Renee are back. Things in general are fine, just unmotivated. Maybe I need to move my computer. The office is just the last room in the house that I want to be in these days.

Until tomorrow then...

Good morning,

Hope everyone is having a nice Tuesday. I slept until 9 this morning and was awoke by a call from Mike. He's back from sea and will be home later this morning. Yesterday I did a lot of stuff, went swimming, layed by the pool and started a new book, ran errands, rearranged my furniture, vacuumed, visited with my parents, and ate all my healthy meals I had planned. It was really nice to relax and move at my own pace with no pressures of having to be anywhere. The only part of my day that wasn't all that pleasant was visiting my parents. My mom is struggling at work and I know dealing with my grandparents on a daily basis is dragging her and my step-dad down. He's just moody and you can never quite tell what kind of mood he'll be in. Anyway, it's just kind of unpleasant to be there. And again, I'm almost 30 and still feel like I'm living my life to please them. I talk primarilly about my job, because I know that's the one thing I do in my life that they are supportive of. Anyway, I did it, and I just hope that maybe on our "vacation" together, we can do a little more bonding and I can open up to them. We'll see. The good thing that I've noticed is that my mom has stopped drinking. All growing up and until about 2 months ago, if it was after 5 p.m., she always had a glass of wine in her hand. I never really paid attention to how much she drank, but little by little I started noticing her behavior after 7 p.m. or so, and she was pretty well buzzed most evenings. Anyway, I don't know what caused her to stop, but it's a good thing. My step-dad still drinks, but he stopped smoking almost two years ago. They're making progress, I guess.

Anyway, enough about that. Today I do laundry, will run at the track and try to do upper body at the gym. I swam yesterday, but only for like 10 minutes, so I want to do some more cardio today. We'll see how it goes.

Ang: glad to hear everything's alright. Like I mentioned, my pc is on my dining room table. My place is so small my living room, dining room and kitchen are all together, so it's pretty easy for me to cruise the internet and not feel like I'm locked in an office. Moving yours might be just the trick, if that's what you want to do. I know we're all happy when you're here!

Alright, that's about it for me, looking forward to hearing about everyone's day!

Talk to everyone later.

I'm about halfway through all of the posts I missed - yikes - and I realized that I need to get ready to go home. I have to get to an appointment at 5:30pm and last time I left work a little late I didn't make it. You never know about traffic around here.

No errand I guess. I just a call that I need to attend to something at work. I hate this - when is it my time?

Ang

Renee – the horse back riding sounds wonderful! And also – wish you a stress-free week at work, and some negative test results! :D

Jessica – so nice to hear you’re enjoying your vacation! Good for you that you cleaned: it’s so true that it’s easier to enjoy the rest of the week with a clean house!

And yes – I have done years of trials and errors when it comes to my body. I’ve done every eating disorder there is, I’ve done all the Geneen Roth books, Fat is a feminist issue books, I’ve been in therapy, I’ve been fat, I’ve been skinny – and everything in between. Some of us are just a bit slow when it comes to figuring things out, you know??? ;)
When I maintained my weight the last year and a half, it wasn’t that hard for me: I enjoyed eating more and feeling more relaxed. My weight fluctuated a bit – but not very much. One of the main thing I learned about my body was that it’s not completely out of control. Basically I can keep my weight stable – at least I could at the weight I maintained then. I’m curious to see if it will be as easy when my weight is 25lbs less. I hadn’t planned to keep maintaining for such a long period of time last time: I just resisted starting losing weight again – I know restrictions are no fun, and had a hard time getting started again. But once I got started it’s sort of easy.

You and your brother are really very nice to arrange the anniversary for your mother and stepfather! Too bad that Mike’s not coming though – did he not want to, or didn’t you want him there?

Jessica – the ‘swimming and laying by the pool’ part of your day sounds absolutely wonderful! Sorry that you struggle with your parents too – and you’re right: the vacation might be a good opportunity for a bit more openness.

Ang – good to see that you keep in touch with us!

I did my first day back today, and it was very nice to see people again. There was a lot of catching up to do, and the weather was nice so we ended up in the park eating ice cream. Well, except for me – I had café au lait instead. And I’m starting to look forward to eating more calories…. ;)
Hope you’re all having good Tuesdays.

I am home from my track workout. The running sucked because I haven't done speed work in so long, but it was good to get out there. I guess I'll never get better if I don't keep trying. I have also been seriously looking into gyms in the area. I thought I was going to get a health benefit from my insurance but not until next year. I just don't know if I can justify the cost of a gym membership right now, particularly since there are such large start up fees. If I would just get my butt moving I wouldn't need a gym. I have everything I need really. We'll see after I think about it and price all of the clubs in town. We have 4 or 5.

To get it out of the way, I had a big talk with bf on Sunday morning and told him almost everything I have been feeling. I am proud of myself for telling him and standing up for myself. He gave me a lot of good answers but we did not have time to finish the conversation because he was getting ready to go to work. Unfortunately the truth is that he doesn't really know what it is like to be in a loving relationship and his work right now doesn't give us time to teach him. I'm being patient for now and hoping that he will follow through with making time for me so we can finish the talk. If nothing else, I am getting things off of my chest and he is really learning how I feel. One way or another I am getting closer to closure and that feels good. I'll let you if anything develops. mette - from what I know the bf has had one minor relationship (dated for 4 months) in the last 4 years. He is very independent and definitely not aware of what is 'expected' in a serious relationship. I just have to see if after all this time a relationship is what he wants, if not there is no point trying to teach him. During our talk on Sunday he did admit that he does not communicate well. I told him we need to work on that so if he is willing then things should only get better. Time will tell.

Jessica - you seem to be doing great with your vacation. Yeah! I envy your organization. I don't think I could plan my meals if my life depending on it. :lol:

mette - I am so sorry that you did not have a good weekend. It is over though and just think about how much you can appreciate what you have at home and be proud of the things you have changed in your life for the better. Sometimes 'going home' really lets you know where you were and shows you a new perspective on where you are now. Do you feel like you are back into your own routine again?

Jessica - do you own your own motorcycle? I rode on the back of one once and it was great! It was a little surprising to hear from you though. A great thing though.

Let's all agree that there will never be too much posting! The more the better. :D

Jessica - thanks for posting the article. I actually think I had seen that before but it is nice to be reminded of what is important and to keep on the right path, more importantly to feel like you are on the right path. I think I personally feel a little better because I although not perfect, I am making better food choices and I am exercising (even if not enough yet). Today I went to the market and picked up a homemade brownie (my favorite) and put it down. Later I thought about it and realized that I never would have put it down before and by not eating it I saved myself calories and guilt. My life is not less because I did not have the brownie, maybe it's even better. So even if I don't always make the good choice, for every good choice I am a little bit closer to being the healthier me and that has got to stand for something. btw - if things stay the way they are, I may actually have lost a couple of pounds. For the last couple of days I have weighed in at 184.6. Of course I have a screwy scale so who knows, but I'll take all of the positive reinforcement that I can right now. Usually I lose over a weekend but by Wednesday it is back - not so this week so maybe it's a real change.

mette - when you decide what your eating plan is going to be at school please post. I'd love to see what snack ideas you come up with. I think you are doing a great job with planning out your schedule though so you can accomplish all of your goals with your health and school.

mette - I am happy for you that the scale was kind. How much did you lose this week or was it the same? I am amazed that you have lost 25 lbs since April. That is inspiring and awesome. Although I can't say that I have felt all of the feelings that you are describing, I have had body image problems and can understand that you are struggling. I am proud of you for understanding yourself well enough to know what you need to do to be successful in your journey to be healthier. Your ultimate success will definitely be dependent on your stability. It takes a lot of effort to make changes in our lives.

Welcome back Renee. I'm glad you had a good weekend (horsebac riding sounds wonderful0 and it seems that you should have a less stressful week. How are you going to fit anything into your stomack in a bodice? :lol: It might end up being a very good food weekend. Another negative test, great. Do you have any other idea what might be the problem? Are you usually regular? Any thought to seeing your ob/gyn to ease your mind?

If you get any good food ideas in the SBD forum let us know - Renee. I'm glad you are taking some initiative with your eating. By the time your sister is ready you will have a jump start. Although I totally understand about eating crap when you are tired, in the long run you will have more energy if you can eat well.

Jessica - anything you choose to do on your vacation is right because you choose to do it. If a clean house makes you feel good then clean away. It's always different when you can do things by choice and at your own pace. When I 'have to' do something I tend not to do it. I know its psychological but that's life. I know that I need a day off and I just may end up cleaning my house on that day too. I know if I cleaned I would feel a lot better. It just gets overwhelming and I can't get started. Just enjoy your time. It sounds like you are doing great and fun things. I envy you. :)

Having been around people who drink more than I would like at times, I am so happy for you Jessica that your mother stopped drinking. Does you step-dad drink a lot?

mette - when you get to your maintaining period please share more details with us, as I am sure you will. Unlike you I have never been thin. It is very hard for me to lose weight and I have never been able to maintain since I am always trying to lose. When the time comes I will have questions - lots of them I'm sure. :dizzy:

I'm glad everyone's week is going well. My subject this afternoon was completed. He was the first out of four this week. We are having a lot of problems with cancellations and no shows. :mad: We are supposed to have two more tomorrow so we'll see how much other work I get done. At least I can't say that I am bored at work anymore. :coffee:

Goodnight all.

Ang, first of all: *love* your new avatar and signature! :D

I also think it’s excellent that you did your track workout – you have increased your amount of exercising a lot lately, haven’t you? Good going! I think you’re doing great, Ang – you’re eating better, exercising more – and feeling better about yourself too. Excellent choice on the brownie! And congratulations on losing a couple of pounds! Yey for you!!! :D

Looking into gyms is a good idea, even if you’re just looking. It’s always a good thing to know about existing offers in your neighbourhood.
Good to hear that you seem to be OK with your talk to the BF too. I feel happy for you too! That you stood up for yourself and spoke to him honestly. Good for you. :smug:

Ang, about losing weight: I’m sure that when you get stability in your life – and get settled into your new life – you will figure out the routines, and then lose the weight. It’s mostly about habits I think – once we get started and feel good, it’s easier to just continue.
Good to hear work is going well too!

I did lose a couple of pounds too last week and I really didn’t think I would – so I was pleasantly surprised by that. I’m still 3lbs from having lost 25lbs since April, but I’m fairly decided that I will start maintaining when I’m down to 183.
And yes, I really do think stability is the key for me. When I started thinking about losing weight at my biggest (and most depressed), the thing that really held me back from trying was the knowledge that every time I had lost weight in the past I had gained it all back again. Before I could decide to start losing weight again I had to look into what I could do to minimize the risk of that happening again. My philosophy was that “if I couldn’t keep it off, I was not interested in losing it in the first place”.
The conclusions I made, and have based this on, are well known to you all by now: eat less than 1500 calories a day, not losing weight for longer than 6 months at a time, and maintain the new weight for at least 9 months before losing any more. I also figured it would take at least 4 or 5 years. And it's been a good plan for me so far.

I did lower body at the gym today, and I’m starting to feel ready for adding weight on the 45lbs bar I use when doing squats. Instead I’ll concentrate on improving the form even more the last week. Heh. ;)
I’m still getting a kick out of this – and today I actually talked to people I lifted next to. Maybe in another month I’ll even feel like I belong there! ;)
Have a great day everybody – talk to you guys later.

mette - last night I decided to put in a few minutes to investigate the options around this site. Thanks for noticing my little changes. :)

mette - Like Jessica, I am very impressed at your patience. It is amazing that you can be as disciplined as you are. Your reasoning makes perfect sense to me. I can also understand your fear about wanting to put the weight back on. Ultimate success is making lifestyle changes. You are right that I need to get into a habit. This working schedule is kicking my butt and I just need to figure it all out. I also realize that I needed to experience a whole year of seasons to know how much I can really do after work and such. So in the year I have learned a lot about myself and what I am capable of and not capable of.

For example, at this point in my life I don't see myself exercising before work so I am basically giving up on that. I have also learned that I will never be able to restric my eating enough to lose weight without a good deal of exercise. I guess everything just takes time, patience and a little understanding and compassion with our bodies.

Good job at the gym. Congratulations on talking to people at the gym. I bet it wasn't nearly as bad as you feared, right?

Gotta go to a meeting. Happy hump day.

Wow, you two have been busy posting! Where have I been?

Ang: I am so glad you talked with the bf. Now that you mention it, the fact that he has little experience being in a relationship with someone makes perfect sense when you look at the behaviors you've described. Hopefully he will be open minded and willing to "learn" how to love and show affection like you need him too. I'm just glad you were able to open up and get it off your chest. That must be a huge relief. Your observations about the brownie are just the kind of thing you should (we all should) be focusing on; the little, daily choices we make. The decision of, "not right now, maybe later" that we make when we are confronted with foods we would "normally" devour. And not thinking about it in terms of deprivation, but putting it off until later, because you don't really need it now. If we are successful with this a few times, it will be much easier to not eat those tempting things. That's sort of what I've done at work with all the goodies people bring in, and I've said no enough, people have stopped offering them to me. I think you really are making a lot of progress, even if you feel like you aren't sometimes. We're all so proud of you! :D

On the topic of the motorcycle, I've owned two bikes in my life, the last one I recently sold because I really wasn't riding it much and couldn't justify the payment (I bought a new car, too, and two vehicle payments were kind of silly.) My step-dad has an "extra" bike that he's said I could ride any time. I got my license in '96 and have even ridden on some racetracks. It's funny, because people at work were shocked that I like to ride, I guess I don't look like the "biker babe" type... Mike doesn't ride though, and it makes him nervous when I do because he's known so many people who've been in serious accidents. I have crashed before and it wasn't pleasant, so I ride much less now.

I like your avatar and your signature too! You're so clever. I didn't realize your high weight was 242. You really have done an awsome job.

Mette: Congratulations on talking with people at the gym!! Sounds like you're starting to feel a little more comfortable there? And adding weight to the bar on your squats, that is quite an accomplishment! Like I said, I still have trouble keeping my balance and not falling over, even with just a wooden stick and no weight. Yikes. :)

Ang: Thank you for the support on my vacation plans. People at work seemed a little shocked that I wasn't really going anywhere. I'm just happy to be home relaxing. Like I said, I'm going out of town Friday for a couple of days, but my goal for this week was just to take care of myself. Yesterday I bought some wicker baskets to organize hanging files so that we can get our paperwork organized; paper was taking over every flat surface of my house, so getting it filed away will be a really good thing. I started last night and will finish today, and I'm already feeling more in control. I also visited my grandparents and spent about an hour and a half with them. They are always so happy to see me, and it's very rewarding and special for me to make time for them. Mike was home most of the day yesterday, so we did spend some time together, but he was in a bad mood because of work and for some reason I felt a little resentful that he was home during MY time... I tried not to feel that way, but I ended up not doing some things I'd wanted to because he was around. He's down in Long Beach today, tomorrow and Friday, but will be driving home each evening, so we can spend that time together. He's not going with me on my parent's anny. because 1) he doesn't want to be with my folks and 2) it was cheeper for my brother to rent the house if there were only 4 of us; bro asked me about it and I told him to go ahead and get the cheeper rate. I'm grateful he's footing the bill for the weekend and I wanted to make it easier on him. Like I said before, though, I think the quality time alone with my family might be a productive thing for me.

To let you guys know, I am officially at the 20-lbs. lost mark, as of this morning, so my chickie really is accurate now. I also took my measurements, which I'll list below:

7/18/04 8/16/04

Bust 44 42.5
Chest 41 39
Waist 38 36
Hips 43 41
Theigh 25.5 24
Bicep 13 13.5
Wrist 6.5 6.5

That's a total of 8" lost overall since July 18 (or 7.5" if you count the gain in the bicep). :strong: I wish I'd had a tape measure in June when I started, because I'm sure that would have been very encouraging! I can't wait to see how my body changes when I finally tackle the exercise-monster. :D

Anyway, I hope you both have a wonderful Wednesday! Talk with you soon!

Hi guys!

Ang – I really think you’ve come a long way this summer: learning about yourself and what you are capable of is really the most basic and necessary knowledge you can get. Know what works for you, know how you work. I think you’re 100% correct about that. And you say it so beautifully: we need time, patience, understanding and compassion with ourselves!
And Ang, I have to say the same as Jessica: I wasn’t aware that your start-weight was 242 either. You must feel completely different in your body now?
What did you do when you lost weight then, that you haven’t been doing now? Is it just that you used to run in the mornings back then?
What did you do for food? How did you eat?

Jessica – I think it’s very true what you write about choosing not to eat something: that it’s not about deprivation but putting things off until later. I think that’s what I’ve been thinking too – I just didn’t put it in words like you did! Very clever, Jessica!
And I love your vacation plans too – I think it sounds like you’re having a wonderful vacation! Are you planning on telling your mother and stepfather about Mike, and that you two live together during the family-vacation? Does your brother know about it?
Congratulations on reaching the 20lbs mark, Jessica! You’ve really done a wonderful job this spring and summer! And great that you’re down in measurements too – except for the biceps! :D Gotta love that! Big biceps are so sexy!

Renee – more good news! Very good to hear that the scare is over! And it could be due to any of the reasons you list – hopefully your stress-levels are going down soon.
I’m so glad you’re saying that you’re inspired by overweight women (at least one of them) at your gym – it’s so easy for us big women to feel pathetic and uncomfortable – I just feel glad inside every time I hear someone talk about big people at the gym in a positive way. And you should remember it for yourself too, Renee. Feeling ashamed is not motivating for anything!
Good that you’ve started distributing your resume – you never know, the dream job may appear one of these days! Nobody should stay in a negative atmosphere if they could choose not to!

I do have a good starting routine for weights! I have it written down, and I carry it with me in the weight room (with my bottle of water). For my 4 first week (I’m on my third now), I will not change anything – not the repetitions, not the weight, not the exercises – so I don’t need anything but my 3-sheet-plan stapled together. When my 5th week starts (which I’m actually looking forward to), I will get a small notebook to write down weight, reps and series for each exercise.
I do a 3 day split, like this:

Day 1: lower body: squats (45lbs, 8 reps, 3 series), leg press (88lbs, 8x3), leg curls (66lbs, 10x3) and shoulder press (14lbs (2 dumbbells 7lbs each), 10x3).
For me it’s been a very nice “lower body” start, I was a bit sore at first (especially from the squats), and I have been working on getting the correct form (also especially on the squats).

Day 2: upper body: bench press (44lbs (2 dumbbells 22lbs each), 8 reps, 3 series), one arm dumbbell row (30lbs, 8x3), biceps curls (22lbs, 8x3), triceps extensions (26lbs, 8x3), lower back extensions (on extension bench) (8x3).
I also like the “upper body” day – I have been a bit sore, and have been struggling with the one arm dumbbell row: it’s heavy! Plus the back extensions – I couldn’t even complete the series the first time I did them!

Day 3: combination day – combining exercises from the other two days: squats, bench press, one arm dumbbell row + the ab crunch machine (66lbs, 10 reps, 3 series).
This day is OK – but I think I prefer the two other days.

I warm up on a treadmill, bike, step machine, rowing machine, etc for 12 minutes. I spend 10 minutes after on sit ups and stretching. I’m done in about 50 minutes. And that is one of the things I really love about this program: it doesn’t last forever. When I went to the gym and did machines I did the full body every time and it took me 1 ½ hours to complete. This is much better!

And can you guys believe I’ve been doing this for 3 full weeks tomorrow?

I actually recommend the weights instead of the machines Renee – personally I just think they’re cooler and more fun! But maybe that’s just me?
Maybe you could look at your old programs (from when you had sessions with instructors), and see if they’re something you would want to try again? Having a plan going in will make your session much more effective, and learning the correct form will keep you from cheating.

Wish you luck on going back, I know it takes a lot of time to get started sometimes.

Good morning everyone. I am actually home right now. I think something is wrong with my washing machine :( and I have to wait for the repairman. I REALLY should be at work running subjects but I have not been getting much sleep so I decided to just take the whole day off from work, instead of just the afternoon, and sleep in a little. I feel REALLY guilty though about leaving my research partner in a bind at the last minute but hopefully it is not too bad there. One day I need to plan a day off though so I can really enjoy it. Right now the big plan was to sleep (did some of that sort of), catch up on posting (doing), run (in a few minutes) and clean my office while I wait for the repair guy. If I do it all I guess the day won't be an entire waste.

Jessica - it is amazing how many times I buy or eat something without even really thinking about it. As I try to think before (not sure how to always do this but it seems to be more frequently than at one time) I do realize that all the brownies in the world are not suddenly going to disappear. :lol: You are right that we are not trying to deprive but just put off and only have at times where we really want them. More often than not a truly crave good food. I think part of this is because I don't cook so it is nice to just have a balanced home cooked meal. I like the taste of sweets, don't get me wrong, but I don't usually get cravings for sweets or salt or other things. I guess that's good for me. Does anyone here get cravings? for what? What do you do about it?

Jessica - have fun and be safe whenever you ride. I'm sure you're careful and can enjoy the hobby. There are a number of people at my work that ride - it is amazing.

I was at my highest weight for only about a month. Who knows what happened but I shot up and then came back down pretty fast (started WW at that time - maybe I subconsciously put on the weight so it would look like I made progress early :lol: ). For any long time I would say that my highest was about 235 - still a lot though. When I moved to MA I was 170-172 so I'm trying to get off those 15 pounds (freshman 15 all over again without the school).

How is the vacation coming Jessica? It's understandable that you want to maximize your time, especially if Mike was not in a great mood. Luckily it seems that it was only a small portion of the vacation. Will you be away from the internet this weekend while you are away?

:jig: :dance: Congratulations Jessica on hitting 20 pounds! What a milestone. Even better maybe are the loses in your measurements. Can you tell the difference in your clothes? Maybe I should retake my measurements. I just wonder sometimes how reliable my measurements are on myself. Maybe this is just what you need to help motivate you to continue with the exercise. btw - how is that going while you are off?

Yeah for Renee. I am so relieved for you. Maybe this will give you some extra motivation to take charge of your life and try to get healthier and relieve some of your chronic stresses so it doesn't happen again.

Thanks for all the support with bf. In some ways the biggest question right now is just where a gf fits in his life and if that is enough for me. I'm not sure how to find this out but I'll work on it. I just wish it wasn't this hard. Right now I definitely don't feel like I am as important as work, friends, family, etc. but who knows.

Renee - I think it's fair to enjoy your time with your father. It doesn't mean you can't think about what you're eating though and try not to make all bad choices. If you do, definitely enjoy it all and be happy. I'm sorry work continues to be so stressful. Hang in there - your time off is coming!

Good luck with SBD. Keep us posted. I was thinking of trying it and would like to hear your thoughts - Renee.

Gotta get moving so I can get my run in. Have fun today everyone.

btw - this morning I was 184.4 so I think it may be real weight loss. I guess I should pick one day a week for my official weight. How do you gals do it? How often do you weigh? Which day of the week or month?

Morning gals,

Mette: I actually stole that bit about food from skinnydaily.com. Well, that's how I DO feel about food choices and that is how I lost weight before, but I read that on her site and it clicked with me. I'm plagerizing- I'm so ashamed! :o Anyway, it IS true, and very well said. I can't believe it's been three weeks already for you at the gym! That's great, and the fact that you're enjoying it and sticking with it is outstanding. ;)

Renee: Yay, you're in the clear! Isn't it weird how our female bodies react to external influences like stress? I wonder if my ruptured ovarian cyst was a result of all the stress I'd been experiencing the last few weeks at work? Hm. I also think it's great that you're circulating your resume. :) When you think about the fact that you spend the majority of your waking life at your job, and more time with your co-workers than with your family, it becomes pretty clear that your work environment is very important and has a big effect of your life. I guess I'm pretty lucky because I've gotten some positive feedback at my job and people actually tell me I'm doing well and that I'm liked. It wasn't like that at my old department. Even with the praise I am still really hard on myself and stress out thinking I'm not doing a good job, so I know what you're going through. Anyway, I hope you do find something new; your current situation doesn't sound very healthy for you.

I ended up stopping by work last night because, even though I'm still on vacation I have to do a meeting tonight (my night meetings twice a month, if I haven't explained them, are taking minutes for our Planning Commission hearings, which is for my old department. It's a long story how I got roped into it, but I get overtime...) and I needed to pick up my packet. Our new deputy building official was working late (it was almost 9 p.m.) and that's a long story, too... we actually used to date a few years ago when I worked at my old department. Then he left to work for another city, and now he's back as of about a month ago and is technically one of my supervisors... luckily only one other person knows about our past relationship, otherwise it might cause problems. Anyway, he was there and we started talking... he told me that I'm very well-liked among management and he actually wants to start working with me on assuming more responsibility, like plan-checking plans for building permits (right now I only do very minor approvals and mainly just take in plans and issue permits, so that would be really good experience) and learning some of the management tools on our computer system like running reports that our floor supervisor currently does. The interesting thing about all of this is that Randa, our floor supervisor, is planning to retire in the next year or so, and they are undoubtably planning on finding someone to take over when she leaves. Needless to say, for being a 15 minute conversation, it was very enlightening, and I'm actually looking forward to getting back to the office and working hard to learn as much as I can. :D

On a fitness note, I actually went "running" yesterday. That is, I went to the track and exercised for almost 30 minutes, doing walk/run intervals. For the first few laps I walked for three minutes, ran for one, and then toward the end walked 3/4 of the track, ran 1/4. I was breathing hard on the run parts, but three minutes of walking was enough time for me to recover and run again. It's going to be work getting my cardio ability back to what it used to be, but I did it and it felt good.

Ang: How is your day going? Is your experiment running smoothly? Sounds like you were struggling with your subjects participating, I hope it gets better.

** Ang: We posted at the same time... The exercise has not gone as well as I'd hoped, I wrote about it in my blog this morning if you want to check it out. As far as weighing, I usually do it about 1 hour after I wake up (after I got potty) completely stripped down, on Sunday or Monday morning. I've gotten much better about not weighing myself every day. I'm so glad you had some weight loss and that it has stuck! You need some positive feedback! And the measuring, I don't know how accurate it is to measure yourself rather than have someone else do it, but I figure if I do it the same way each time in the same place, I'll be able to see movement one way or another, even if the measurements themselves are not exactly right. Does that make sense? I also think you definitely SHOULD take some scheduled time off for yourself. I know it's hard to enjoy it when you feel like you're letting your coworkers down. I'm sure your partner will be fine, though, so just enjoy your time as much as you can. Have a wonderful run.

Anyway, I've rambled long enough. Hope everyone is having a great Thursday.

It's amazing how much more time I have for the computer when I am not at work. I am going to start cleaning my office though in a couple of minutes. So far I have managed to do everything on my list. I ran for 46 minutes around my house (it was a lot of laps :lol: ). It was really hard on my legs for some reason but I'm glad I got it in today since I won't have time tonight or tomorrow to run.

Jessica - I think it's great that you got on the track and started 'running'. You are starting out right and will progress quicker than you can imagine. I did read your blog and you are right. There is time for a lot of things in our lives if we make them a priority and no time for the things that we don't. You'll do it when you are ready and at the pace you want.

Positive feedback is such a great thing. I think people are so quick to criticize but too often forget to tell people that they are doing a good job. Jessica - I think it's great that your 'supervisor' told you those nice things and it seems like you didn't even have to go looking for the compliments. The new pesonsibilities seem like a very positive thing too and hopefully interesting for you. I get very little if any feedback at work (everyone is in their own little world) so once a quarter or so I go see my boss and chat. At least I know he is not unhappy with me yet. :lol: It really helps with motivation, even the simplest little things. You go get 'em.

I talked with my research partner and the subject this morning went well. We have now had 4 completed this week and the 5th should be going on right now. It's slow but we're making progress. Later in September I am taking a trip to another lab to see how they use some of the equipment that we have (it is new to us). It should be a nice diversion and the lab happens to be less than 2 miles from my parent's home! I am going to get to see my family and let my job pay for the gas. hehe I guess in general work is fine for me. I just don't have enough time to get everything done (I can be an overachiever at times and perfectionist). I also hate writing so that is frustrating. It's a lot better in my mind than it was a month ago so that's good. I can easily give it another year (had my first anny last week) and see how it goes.

I'm off to clean. Enjoy the day!

Hi gals,

Well, today is the last day of my vacation at home. No!!!! :lol: I'll be back on Sunday although my aunt has a computer so I may be able to check in, I'm not sure. My cousins are going to be there and my cousin's husband runs an internet business, so he may hog the office all weekend, as well as his kids. They did it last year too, and we were there for a FUNERAL. They were on the computers the whole time!

Ang, did you get your washing machine fixed? I have a laundry list ;) (ha ha ha...) of appliances I need to replace, including my dishwasher, fridge, water heater and washer/dryer. That's a lot of $$$ right there. They are all still working, but are very old, not energy efficient, and don't do a very good job. Oh well, one thing at a time.

This morning I need to pack, go have my hair done, run an errand for Mike, get gas and hit the road. It only takes about 3 hours to get to Fresno, so the drive shouldn't be too bad. Hope everyone has a great weekend. I'm not looking forward to Sunday; back to the real world next week! Talk to you all later!! :)

Happy Friday everybody!

Ang – good for you that your day off yesterday was effective! Getting a lot done and even exercising! Well done!

I do get cravings sometimes. Mostly I crave sweet and fat things like cookies, brownies, biscuits, doughnuts, cakes, etc. I stay away from it for the most of the time, but every now and then – once every two or three weeks maybe - I will eat a cookie or brownie (I’ll buy just one) and cut down on whatever other food I was going to eat that day. I usually feel good when I do this – but I also get a bit hungry, because the calories in a cookie equals a whole meal for me – and when I remove a meal out of the day I get hungry. It’s probably the reason I don’t do it more often.
Other times I substitute my cravings for cakes or cookies with other sweet things like blueberries, strawberries or raspberries with vanilla yogurt.
I don’t really know what to do with my cravings. It seems to go wrong for me if I stay completely off the things I crave, and then I’m more likely to end up binging. I think the main thing for me in eating that one cookie or doughnut or brownie – is that I have decided and planned to eat it before I eat it. It’s not something that just happens in the moment. When it just happens, it feels more like a slip, and sometimes that starts a slide into a binge.
I don’t know Ang – I really haven’t figured out the cravings yet! :p It sounds very good to not get cravings – and not having to worry about it.

So you did the WW for a long time? Did it work for you? Where you happy with the program, and why did you stop?

Great that the weight is keeping off! I weigh in on Monday mornings – and I just weigh in that one day of the week. I get far too many emotional reactions when I step on the scale, so I try to keep it to a minimum. ;)

Jessica – no matter what – what you wrote clicked with me too! It was very true and smart!
And how great that your supervisors want you to take on more responsibilities in your job! It could become a really good place for you to work, if you just hang in there and learn the new things!
Also great that you went running! No matter how hard it is at first: it does get better.
Hope you have a great vacation with your family! And come back to us soon! :D

My days are filling up – but I’m still not completely finished with my organizing-project, I want to finish that this weekend – and be ready to a fresh start next week. Jogging and the gym are going well. I have eaten too much this week, I *do* feel more hungry these days - but maybe it'll be better during the weekend.

Have a nice Friday everybody!

Jessica - I hope you enjoy your weekend. I hopeyou have a chance to chech in with us though. I did not get my washing machine fixed since they say it is not the machine and I need a plumber. :( There is something that I need to try and do myself to fix but hate to do stuff like that by myself. I guess I'll have to though since there is no one here to help. If I try to do it myself it will cost a lot less than a real plumber so I'm going to give it a shot. Replacing appliances and doing everything else in a house definitely costs a lot. One thing at a time is all you can do.

The one bad thing about vacations is when they are over you know it is going to be a while before you get another one. :(

mette - although I don't get cravings per se, I still want the sweets. :( It sounds like you have a good handle on your cravings though. I can see how planning to eat the sweets could help prevent binges.

My biggest problem right now is eating things out of habit. I am worst when I am out to eat because I just tend to get what I used to get because I remember it being so good. Fortunately my tastes have changed so after one time (not always but usually) I pick something else because the old stuff just doesn't taste as good or sit well with my body. For example, last night I went out to dinner to a place that I haven't been in a long time (well over a year - I didn't even know they had this restaurant up here) and I got to share an appetizer I loved before (high in fat stuff). It really didn't taste that good and my body rebelled and today I feel yucky. I will not be getting that appetizer anytime soon again. I guess in general I don't make good choices when I go out to eat yet. Because of circumstances, I went out last night, today for lunch at work (going away lunch for a coworker), and tonight with a friend (hopefully I'll get a salad or something light). I feel like crap from the food choices and I'm sure I am undoing all the good I did this week and will put the pounds back on that I lost.

Where did that ramble come from? :dizzy:

I did WW for about 6 months and lost about 25 pounds I think (with running). It is the only program I can really think of doing (without major modifications) because it is pretty flexible in what food choices you can make. It made me realize that I can eat almost anything as long as I watch how much. I stopped going partly because of the cost, thinking I did not need it (didn't get much out of the meetings), and my friend stopped going. I continued to do well by myself (trying to make good choices and eating less) while I was still in VA so I don't think it was bad for me to stop. After 34 years I know that I can NOT restrict my diet too much so I need to exercise a lot. This is all that is going to work for me right now unless I go through some major change in my thoughts about food (not likely). I know I need/want support but I don't know that getting at a WW meeting is necessary so I never went back when I moved here.

mette - glad to hear that the running and gym are on track. Have you been eating more because you have been hungry or has something else been going on? Have you tried adding a little more protein like you had mentioned? I definitely think the weight lifting is making a difference by increasing your metabolism. This is a good thing. :D Good luck finishing your organizing project. Anything in particular that you still need to do? I was so happy that I finally cleaned my office. I know how you feel about cleaning and organizing and then being ready to tackle anything, especially new stuff. I just beed to vacuum the office and organize a few files and I am done. What a relief.

Back to work for me.

Hi Ang, is it just the two of us left? Where did Renee go?
Hope your plumbing-thing goes well, can’t you ask somebody to show you how to do it? A neighbor, coworker or maybe the BF?

I loved your ramble about habits, Ang. I have been working so hard to get *in to* habits – you know, good and new habits, but the old ones are definitely there too!
And yes, I’ve found that my taste changes - it’s a very good thing to experience. ;) It’s another proof of change!
As for going out to eat – I’m sure you’re not undoing all the good things you did this week, it doesn’t work like that, I think. I’m sure your choices are getting better – like when you find that food you used to like no longer taste good!

I know I have been eating more because I’ve been hungrier, but I’m not always clear on the reasons why I’m hungrier. I’m sure hunger sometimes comes from psychological, emotional and mental causes. Stress can make me physically hungry sometimes. Right now I think it’s the weightlifting, but I can’t rule out other things. It’s always a bit stressful to start up with a new semester; my trip to visit my father was stressful too – but not too bad.
I am eating more protein, and I think that is part of the problem too: to get more protein I have to eat more food (with protein) – and that extra food has calories too!
I think I just have to give it another week or two and see what happens.

And the organizing – like you I just need to clean up my office and papers – and it everything will feel so much better once it’s done! :D

Hope you’re having a nice Friday, sounds like you’re having plans for the weekend too. Will you be working on the vegetables too? And maybe seeing the BF?
Hope you get some exercise in too, you are doing so well right now! :lol:
I’ll talk to you later!

Hi mette. I don't know what happened to Renee but now it is the weekend so I don't expect we'll get an update until Sunday or Monday. Hopefully she and Jessica are doing well and enjoying themselves.

About the plumbing - I might wimp out and not deal with it this weekend. The repair man told me what to do and it honestly doesn't seem that hard. I would just rather not do it alone, but then I would rather not do much alone. :lol: I suppose I could ask my neighbor to look in and make sure I'm not messing it up totally but bf is swamped at work and with life so for now I don't bother him with my life (maybe not right but it is the way it is for now). Depending on how the weekend goes I might try the repair - I'll let you know if I do.

It is amazing how long it takes to make a new habit and how much longer it takes to break an old one. I once heard that it takes two weeks to make a new habit, bulls*#t, it takes a lot longer than that for me. :o I just keep trying and figure that with time the changes will come and solidify themselves. As long as I see progress I guess I can keep at it. It just gets frustrating sometimes because I know better and feel guilty afterwards.

The biggest change I have noticed is that since I don't eat a lot of greasy and fried foods anymore, when I do eat them they sit poorly in my system and I feel awful. Do you get this? I don't get a bad reaction to sweets though. Bummer. :lol: Maybe some day.

I don't know if you can undo progress but you can sure slow it down. I ate Thai for lunch and Chinese/Japanese for dinner with dessert at my friend's house. I enjoyed most of it but not any more than I would have 'better' foods. Now I feel bad mentally because of my bad choices and physically because I ate too much and ate too much fat and grease. Yuck. :devil: Hopefully I'll remember for next time.

I remember the stress of school. Do you usually feel better after you get going into the semester? I totally agree that it is hard to know exactly what is causing your hunger. It might be a combination of things. Are you so hungry that it is uncomfortable or you have low energy? Have you been eating around 1500 or 1600 calories? I know in the past you have said that sometimes you tend to eat less. Also, are you eating enough complex carbs? They can fill you up and you need the extra carbs for your weightligting.

How was your Friday? I had a subject at work that went fine and then we had lunch out for the coworker leaving. The afternoon was pretty uneventful with everyday work stuff. I went out to dinner with a friend and we watched an awful movie (rental). After a little chatting I came home and now I need to go to bed. I guess not a bad day overall (except for the eating).

What are your plans for the weekend? Tomorrow I hope to get up and mow the lawn a little, then bike to the farm, pick some veggies, and then bike home. The ride will be ~9.5 miles each way but I am afraid it is going to be very hilly and challenging. I think I just need to try it at least once. It will be worse because I will need to carry a bag with my boots and some water and snacks for the farm. Woman can not live on tomatoes alone. :lol:

BF has not had a day off all week but should get one day off this weekend. He didn't know which one yet as of this morning (will find out tonight at work). He has already warned me that he needs to get some stuff done at home, which I hope he really does and does not get side tracked like last weekend, and that the stress of work and life has made him really on edge and he needs to be alone a while. Bottomline is that I should see him but probably not for too long this weekend. Not good, but good news is that he is being much more forthcoming with telling me that it has nothing to do with me, etc. At least he seems to be considering my feelings and I appreciate that. We'll see what happens. One of things he is doing this weekend is updating his resume so he can look for a new job. I can only hope that he gets a new job soon that has less hours and less stress - maybe even 9-5. :)

I hope you had a reat Friday night.

Ang, your plans for Saturday sounds good. Mowing the lawn, biking and picking vegetables – that’s some serious exercise! I know you don’t count the farm work as exercise, but as long as the whole point is spending more calories than we take in – I just take for granted that everything counts… ;)
And good luck on the ride! Just remember enough food! You’re so right: Woman can not live on tomatoes alone!! :D

Good luck on the repair if you choose to go for it too. Let me know how it works out! (I’m sure you’ll do great!)

Yeah! Two weeks making a new habit – that *is* bull sh**! ;) – but eventually, a lot of stuff do become habits, like you say: they get solid. For me it’s when I stop deciding whether I should do it or not, but just do it – because “that’s what I do on Tuesdays” or whatever. That’s when I count something as a habit.

The feeling of guilt after eating is hard to deal with – I have been trying to ease up on myself and “allow more”, and also to concentrate more on the things that are working/the good things I do. But it really isn’t easy. What I have learned is that beating myself up never does any good, so when I see myself doing that, I try to stop it. And then try to focus on something good, or get a bigger perspective (it’s not the end of the world, etc).
The emotions are what I struggle the hardest with too – and it is hard work for me to keep my head clear and leveled, and think rationally when the guilt, shame or depression set in.
Do you write a food journal? Maybe instead of counting calories and measure precise amounts you should focus more on the emotions? What you felt before you ate, what you wanted, how it felt eating it, what you felt after – if you felt guilty – why, what that’s doing with you, what you could have done in the situation, etc. It could give you some useful information about how to handle the emotions, and it would perhaps make it easier for you to remember the feelings you have when you eat “wrong” food too?

And yes! I too get the bad reaction from greasy and fried food – I have gallstones and haven’t eaten fried food for years because I got painful attacks when I overate on fatty food. But strangely not on sweet things like ice cream, cakes or chocolates. I’ve never understood why. And I don’t get other bad reactions from sweets either! Maybe our bodies are made for eating the stuff???? :devil:

It’s always uncomfortable to be hungry. I’m definitely not one who likes the feeling of being empty, clean and hungry! I used to get high on those feelings earlier, but now I just get anxious because I know they end up in binges and over-eating.
But I’m not so hungry that I have low energy – I’m functioning fine, I’m just hungry most of the afternoon and evening. My calories have been between 1500 and 1800 this week – and I’m even hungry on the 1800 days. I’m just counting on that you guys are right: that my metabolism is increasing. Which would be a good thing!

My plans for Saturday is to spread out all my notes and print-outs from last semester on the floor and bed – and get them organized in neat folders! It takes a bit of time, but it’s so good when it’s done!
I was also thinking about going hiking with some friends, but the weather isn’t very nice – so we haven’t decided yet. I would like to go see a movie this weekend too, but I don’t know how much I get done – so I have to see. It would be so nice to get this done this weekend, and then clean tomorrow and have everything clean and organized by Monday morning! :D
So that’s my plan!

Good morning mette. Just a quick note for now. I hope your organizing goes well. Hiking and a movie sound great too. I hope you have time for everything. It is pouring rain here and I am very depressed. I can't do anything that I had planned so now I have to rethink the day. I REALLY wanted to do the biking (it's fun and I needed to work off some calories) and get to the farm. I looked forward to today. At this rate the day is going to turn into a waste. I am thinking that this afternoon I will go get the repair supplies and run a couple of errands but that won't really be fun and in the rain it's not even sort of fun.

It wasn't supposed to be rainy. It's not fair.

I'll be back later. Have a great Saturday. I'm sure mine will improve - it has to.

Like an idiot I stepped on to the scale and was 188.2. I assume some of it is water and just having all of the food in me, but I definitely went the wrong way big time. And I was so happy to be under 185. I can't begin to tell you how upset this makes me. Worse yet, getting upset makes me want to lie around the house and eat, especially since I can't get outside. Grrr...

Hi Ang!
So sorry your Saturday turned out to be so awful! First the rain and then the scale! (What is up with your weight? Is this something new, or has it always fluctuated like this?)
It’s raining here too – but it doesn't matter since I had indoor plans.

Hope your day has improved a bit even in spite of the scale. Just take care of yourself, OK? :grouphug:

My Saturday is OK so far, I’m just off to make omelet with tomatoes, onion, and cheese – I’m thinking one egg and two egg whites, I think.
I also went and bought some protein powder – tasteless – it can be used in cooking and baking – completely free of fat and sugar. I’ll try it in oatmeal, dip for vegetables (cottage cheese + really hot salsa = yummy dip!), pancakes, etc – and see what happens. I’ll report back to you after.
This way I get a lot of protein without a lot of calories. Those protein bars I've been eating are not working – too many calories, so I have to cut down on other things – and I don’t *want* to do that! (said in the whiny voice of a 3-year-old)! ;)

Really hope your Saturday is getting better Ang! I’m sending positive vibes!!!! :goodvibes

I'm still really upset that I won't figure out how to get some exercise in today but at least I am showered and ready to go run my errands. I decided to definitely get the stuff to try and fix my pipes. The actually fixing will have to wait for another time.

I had lunch - salad, eggplant, ff pudding.

I do have large fluctuations in my weight at times (usually going up). If I have a bad day or so eating the scale jumps up a lot. I don't know if it's water or what but I don't like it. I need to buy jeans but will not do it today since I feel huge. I keep thinking that I should only weigh myself once a week but the scale keeps calling my name. Yikes!

I think that as I come up with habits in my new house things will go a lot more smoothly. As much as I did not want to, I seem to have become a Sunday grocery shopper. I have also started some regularity with some of my cleaning/laundry. Someday I'll have to shift some things to during the week but right now I am letting the routine make itself.

I agree with you 100% about feeling guilty and the emotions. Sometimes I also recognize what I am doing and thinking but I don't know how to stop myself. I don't write a food journal now but have in the past. Sometimes I'm not sure I want to delve (sp?) into all my issues. I guess if I really want to change I should do that. I think over the years I have learned why I eat, I just don't know what to do when the 'problems' occur. I don't yet have a substitute for the eating. If I ever get a better bf situation and/or make more friends in town I think the situation would be better because I would not be alone. Don't get me wrong, writing to you really helps but it isn't the same as picking up the phone and being able to talk to a friend or get together for a walk to get out of the house. Do you write a food journal? Have you in the past? You seem very in touch with your thoughts and feelings.

I'm glad you still have enough energy. 1500-1800 still isn't that many calories. I guess part of the proof will be when you weigh in the next couple of times. I think the protein powder is a good idea. One of the errands I am making today is to the health food store and I was thinking about getting some also. I just wonder if it helps at all with feeling full. I am guessing not since it is just a powder.

How is your organizing going? I am ready to leave for my errands. I just talked to bf and he his having a terrible day so I don't plan on seeing him tonight, which means I won't see him this weekend. :( To make matters worse he is talking again about moving away. I hate this. I am trying to be patient but it is very hard.

Talk to you later.

I know exactly what you mean Ang, writing with you guys helps for a lot of things – especially getting things straight in my head and clear out how I think about things – but it’s not a substitute for real life friends and people.

Buying clothes – yeah – I leave that for days I feel good about my body too. Why make it worse than it has to be, right?

Yes, I think you point right to the heart of the problem here: knowing what the problem is – knowing why I eat – but not knowing what to do about it! It’s so true! But I also know, from periods where I kept an “emotional” food journal (for a lack of a better word) – that there never is one big “solution” to what I should do about it.
And I sometimes I don’t seem to be very smart – because I have a couple of these “truths” and “epiphanies” I do over and over again. During good periods I know that I solve the problem differently each time; depending on the situation, on my emotions, my wants, what my options are, etc. Do I have other people there I can be with? Is it night or morning? Am I outside or at home? I just always forget these things – and end up throwing my hands in the air and give up! “I don’t know what to do with this!”
Sometimes I don’t even seem to want to solve the problems, you know?

I really wish for you that you find more friends, but you seem to be making friends all the time? You are so friendly, caring, funny, nice and smart – so I’m sure you make new friends quite easily. People at work, in your running and biking classes, in your neighborhood, etc!

Let’s try the protein powder! I’ve heard that it actually does fill up and help with hunger – but I’ll have to see it for myself before I believe it!

Why is your BF talking about moving? Is it some other job in another town he’s looking at? I must say I admire your patience in dealing with him! I’m starting to see why I’m still single! Heh! :D

My day turned out fine; I’ve gotten a lot of paperwork done. I also made an overall plan for the semester – I like having an overview - knowing when things are supposed to happen and how long I have before I have to turn in papers, etc.
Eating-wise: also good. The omelet was very good – I really enjoy lots of tomatoes and cheese and fresh pepper in omelets! Mmmm! As long as I get at least one meal during the day that taste really good and give me that “mmmmm!”-feeling, the day is not wasted for me! Because, you know, at least I got to eat well! :lol:

Hope your day improved, Ang!

No matter what I tell myself, I feel like a loser for being home alone again on a Saturday night. I don't know how to make friends really. I have met everyone at work but none have become good friends and most don't live near me. I have the running club but I only see them when I run, which is not on weekend nights. There is one woman I am working on but nothing outside of running yet. I don't live in a neighborhood or have children so I am not sure how to make friends in town. The Newcomers group is starting up again in the fall so maybe that will help. I met my one town friend that way. Thanks for saying all those nice things about me. I try to be a good person but am very shy. I have a lot of trouble making friends. I also don't like to go out alone and since I technically have a bf I don't want to go out and have to worry about men hitting on me. I tried that once and no women wanting to talk to me. Maybe I just need to join something else this fall. I am thinking about a coed volleyball league through my town but haven't decided definitely yet.

Do you feel like you have enough friends? How long have you lived where you are? Any suggestions?

The more I think about what you said the more I think you are right that a food journal might be a good thing. Or at least a journal about what I am feeling each day to try and see what I can 'fix' in my life. Today I know I felt lonely and guilty about the last two days so I lost all my willpower (actually I think I just wanted to treat myself - whatever that means) and ate terribly for dinner. I'm done eating for the day though and plan to start fresh tomorrow. I will run my 6 miles in the morning and then am having coffee with that one woman I mentioned earlier. We are supposed to have sun so in the afternoon I should get some time on the farm. :)

While running my errands I had to didge a bunch of thunderstorms and actually remembered to get my flax seed meal (giving it a try since I don't eat fish) and forgot the protein powder. Please let me know your thoughts as you try it. I will put it on my list for things to get the next time I stop at that store. I don't know if I have as much trouble getting protein in as you since I eat meat, but if it is filling then that would be great.

The bf talks about moving because he lives with his parents so he has no tie to a house and he hates his new job so he is open to leaving the area if a good job opportunity presents itself. He lived in Texas and loved it for a number of years so sometimes he talks about moving back there. I know he is fed up with his job and needs out. He mentioned moving because he heard about a possibility of a job (in March) that would take him about 1 1/2 hours away. Although I wish he wouldn't say such things (b/c I don't want him to leave me or be so unimportant that he could leave me) I also know that he says a lot of stuff and I just wait and see what transpires. Most things never do. Also, he is applying for new jobs now so hopefully one will come up and this other opportunity won't even be necessary. It's just more waiting and patience. In a lot of ways you are very lucky that you are single. I am happier now that he realized I am being patient with him and he really seems to try to reassure me but in the end I am still lonely and won't know if this relationship is going anywhere until his life gives it a chance. I did meet another guy (nothing elicit) and after talking with him it made me realize even more all the things I love about my BF. He really is special and hopefully I am not waiting for nothing. Sometimes I wish I didn't love him so I could just move on but we can't control who we love. His birthday is coming up too and I am trying to think of a great gift. It is the big 40! Any ideas are welcomed. Right now I am basically at a loss because he doesn't have much free time so I don't know what he is interested in these days, except the farm.

Great job with the organizing. We seem to think a like in this area. I always planned out everything when I was a student. Now I am starting to plan out what to do with my house. It is amazing how much nicer it fills to have a plan.

You are so lucky that you can make things to eat that you really enjoy. I don't care for eggs too much, although I am going to try and eat some scrambled or hardboiled to help with my protein and variety. I think I screwed up my eating so badly that I don't know what I really enjoy anymore. If I can get my exercise settled down - plan is 3 times a week running and at least 1 time a week some other aerobic nonfarm exercise (probably biking). Do you think that will be enough? This doesn't include 3 times a week of weights. Anyway, after the exercise comes trying new and old foods and making a list of dinners (my breakfast and lunch plan that I started two weeks ago seems to be working) that I really find tasty. I may even not worry about the fat and carbs at this point. Basically this means that I will allow rice and pasta (try to control portions though). I think you are right that you should be able to enjoy at least one meal so you don't feel deprived or at least have one good thing in the day.

I also have a problem that I am a little afraid about money these days. While I was at the health food store I saw a lot of great things that I could eat and most were healthy enough. That store is so expensive though so I hardly bought anything. I know this is personal, but do you mind if I ask what you think a monthly or weekly budget should be for food for one person? In the end I guess my health and happiness should be worth more money if necessary. It is more important than some other things that I spend money on these days.

Sorry for the ramble. Did you do anything fun this evening? Plans for tomorrow? Do you think you will get that hike in? Enjoy whatever you do.

Maybe it would be a good idea to join the volleyball league (calories burned!) or other classes or clubs – it’s great if you find something you want to do, and get to know people at the same time.
Most of my friends here are fellow students that I’ve met and ‘clicked with’ in various classes the last four years (since I came here). But I also have a couple of friends from jobs I’ve had, and one from a choir I sang in for a couple of semesters.
My “old” friends are long-distance-friendships these days, but are probably the closest and most personal relationships I have right now.
And yes, even if I don’t have that many friends, I really think I have enough. I haven’t wanted to be very sociable since I moved here I think – I’ve had very outgoing periods before, when I worked and moved around a lot – but I have enjoyed the quiet the last four years. Studying is a lot of work, and it keeps me busy most of the time, if I let it.

It has probably to with how the last four years have been for me too, I suppose. My brother died a few months after I moved here, and the first two years after that I was grieving and was terribly depressed. I didn’t want to do anything or see anybody. I went to lectures, but went straight home as soon as I could after. It has changed gradually the last two years, but I still like to spend a lot of time alone. I like to read, write, watch movies, and listen to music – solitary things. But I am more outgoing now; I do spend more time at school, out with friends, building closer friendships with the people I like here.

But I do understand where you’re coming from Ang, and I have been in your position. I have lived places where available friends weren’t easy to find – and I did what you do: joined classes and clubs for things that interested me (choir, yoga, language classes), and looked for people at work who shared my interests. Have you tried through the net? Are there any places you could find local people searching for friends there?

You are right of course, we can not choose who we love. I know I’ve done some really stupid choices in my life too – and other times I’ve done what looked like stupid choices that turned out great. At least you realize what you love about him. And maybe you should give him some practical thing for the farm for his birthday then? Or were you thinking something romantic? (I suppose you could try to combine them…. :p )

I think I screwed up my eating so badly that I don't know what I really enjoy anymore.You know, I did that too. Have you ever read or worked with Geneen Roth’s books on compulsive/emotional eating? I worked myself through the exercises of one of her workbooks (“Why weight? A guide to ending compulsive eating”) one autumn some years ago, and it was the best invested time ever! Together with “Feeding the hungry heart”, “Breaking free from compulsive eating” and “When food is love” – those books changed everything about my eating.
But – as with everything else - it has to happen at the right time, when motivated and ready for it.

As for your exercise plan with 4 days cardio a week: that sounds very impressive and would really get your body start burning fat, I would think. Especially if you put in some weightlifting too.
I also very much like your dinner plan, and I think you’re completely right to focus on food that satisfy you. Work on the potion sizes, work on getting foods that both fill you up and are tasty.

Oh yes. Money. Yes, it *is* expensive at the health food store, isn’t it? I don’t go in there all too often. Being a student I don’t really have a lot of money (but neither do I have a house or a car or a student loan to pay off yet), so I buy most of my food at low-price stores. At least you get the vegetables for free! ;)
I don’t think I’ve ever made a weekly or monthly budget – but I think I’m spending about 900 a month. That’s for everything except rent, electricity, insurance, etc. – so: food, coffee, cosmetics, movies, books, CDs & DVDs, magazines, sweets, clothes, and just *stuff*.
The rent, course-books, and bigger things (like the iPod Mini I’m craving and buying next month) – is not included. I get sick of not having much money sometimes (I just found the complete 9 seasons of X-files on Ebay and I *want* them! Now!), but mostly I’m doing OK.
Does it sound like a lot? Or little? I don’t really know how much other people spend on food and stuff every month either.

Your Sunday sounds great: first running and then coffee with your friend! And hopefully the farm later – wish you great weather, Ang! :smug:

I’m continuing on my cleaning process. I’ve gotten most of the papers out of the way – I’m washing clothes, later I’ll clean up here, and possibly make bread – and then perhaps a movie. I did yoga yesterday and my body feels good today, I think I want to do some more of it later today – I really reached some stiff muscles in my shoulders and back and managed to stretch them out a little. Have you ever tried yoga? I’ve done it on and off for 10 years, and some periods I really get a lot out of it – others not so much. I also did a Pilates class earlier this summer, but I’m not going to have the time for that this semester. I’m sticking with weightlifting and running for now, with some yoga and hiking thrown in during the weekend.

Talk to you later Ang. Hope you have an excellent Sunday!

I'll let you know if I join the volleyball class. Right now I am leaning towards doing it. I am not happy about the changes already taking place in the weather and the sun going down earlier. In the fall I think I will really appreciate having at least one night where I have something to look forward to doing after work. I remember how it was in school and you are right that it keeps you very busy. You have a built in network of people in the same situation that you are. I go through periods where I try to make friends and times where I don't. I don't always need to have someone around, but I would like the option of being able to call someone if I did want to talk. Hopefully things will improve this fall. Also, it's not all bad. I think it is worse because I have a bf and don't think I should be alone as much at night on the weekends. Actually, for better or worse, the bf called last night late and invited me over. Of course I went and then I spent the entire day today on the farm. It was a good day - just didn't get anything done at home. I also missed the run in the morning because I can't get to another state by 7am. Plus, I didn't get to bed early since I was with bf. In some ways I think my priorities are messed up, but in other ways being with him makes me happy and I am making our relationship a priority. It just makes me realize that I need to run and bike more during the week so if things like this happen I am still taking care of my body. The 4+ hours on the farm were exercise too though so it wasn't all a waste.

It sounds like the last four years have not all been so good for you. I am sorry about your brother and am glad to hear that you are starting to be able to move on with your life a little. I can't imagine how hard it was to keep up with school during those tough times.

I may try to the net to find friends but doubt it will work well for my area. Also, most men on the net are looking for more and most women don't seem to bother with the net for friends. I think it's just a slow process and I need to be patient.

I talked to bf about his birthday and he wants a new cowboy hat (which we will pick out togther) - I will oblige. I do want to get him something else too and would love to get something romantic although I don't know what - ideas? Something for the farm would be good too if I could only think of something that he needs. Since we are already picking there are not too many other things we need. I'll have to keep thinking about that one. If I knew where to look some cool signs for the veggies might be nice.

I have read some of Geneen Roth but I don't know that I was in the right place at the time. I'll have to consider picking up some of her books, maybe in the fall if I feel like I can concentrate on the eating.

For now I have more veggies than I know what to do with so when I am eating at home I do eat rather well. It is one thing I love about the garden. I brought home a bunch of tomatoes, eggplant and a pepper today. I already made my lunch for tomorrow and I'm looking forward to the veggies.

I don't know about spending money on food. I would say that I spend about $200-$250 a month at the market and then another $100 or more on eating out. It's probably more during 'special' months when I have events that take me to nice restaurants. I guess $50 a week isn't a lot at the market though. I'll have to try one week not worrying about prices and see what happens. I should also invest in stocking my pantry with dry goods and staples.

Your plans for the day sounded really good. Did you get to making bread and the movie? How about yoga? I took a yoga class a couple of years ago and liked it. I actually have two yoga videos that I may pull out this winter when the weather gets bad. I don't think the yoga does much for me physically (maybe some stretching) but if I'm in the zone it is good mentally. Like you I think it depends. I think your plan of running and weights is good. With the yoga and hiking you should have a good mix of aerobic activity.

What is going on with you at school this week? Do your classes start? I really envy you, especially because it has not been so long since I was in school so I remember it well. I really miss the flexibility I had in school. I know that if I had my time to myself I would be running/biking every morning again. I just can't do the 6am thing.

I have to get up early for work tomorrow so I am off to bed. It's been fun chatting this weekend - mette. It sounds like we both had decent weekends. btw - through another person I found out that bf wants children and another friend is trying to help me 'wake him up' so he starts paying a little more attention to me. Things could always be better but for some reason he makes me smile even in the 'bad' times.

Have a great Monday. I already packed my running clothes so I can run at lunch while at work tomorrow. I don't want another day to go by without running and I don't want to risk not running after work. I just hope I have shower stuff at work or it's going to be a smelly and/or wet afternoon. :lol:

Hi gals!

Wow, I had a lot of reading to do to catch up when I got home tonight! :eek: I'm sorry you both dealt with bad weather. Fresno was in the low 100s, so for me that was hot and awful. :flame: Plus there always seemed to be cooking going on in the kitchen and lots of people milling about, so the air conditioner was not very effective either. I missed you both and was glad to read your posts from this weekend. :)

I'll give you a quick recap- Friday morning I got my hair done again. It's much darker and pretty short (just below my ears) so I'll probably shock some people at work tomorrow. :fr: I really like it and will now be forced to move away from the "librarian" look I usually have when I just pull my hair back in a knot every day. We'll see how I do with the "styling" thing, as I am usually too lazy in the a.m. to do anything with it. Finally got out of town at about 12:30 and got to my aunt's house at about 4 p.m. Friday night was pretty much just dinner and socializing. Saturday everyone went with the kids to the water park. My brother and I didn't want to go, so we spent the day together. We went window shopping in one of the "hip" neighborhoods, had coffee, played arcade games, shopped at the bookstore and had lunch. It was nice spending some alone-time with him. Saturday night we had a big dinner (there were probably about 20 of us, including all the kids) and played a game similar to Bingo. I won 4 times and finally just stopped playing because I felt bad that I won so much. One cousin supplied all of the prizes, and I ended up with some good stuff! This morning we had a big breakfast and went through old family photos that my aunt is scanning and printing for family members. It's a lot of work to go through the bags and boxes of pictures and I was pretty burned out after about 2 hours of deciding which pictures I wanted. It was interesting though, because we got to hear stories about relatives I'd never met, great grandparents, distant uncles, etc. Anyway, got home tonight and am spending time with Mike before he leaves again for a week.

It was nice to see my family, although like Mette said, I go through times when I'm social and times when I need alone time. I was a little overwhelmed by all the people and chatter and kids and socializing... :gossip: I found myself pulling out my book and going to the other room for awhile to read, or stepping outside for a smoke just so I could be away from all the activity. I probably seemed distant, or snobby or something, I just couldn't take it all constantly. My two older cousins are both married to REALLY wealthy guys, both in computers (one inherited a ton of money, too, and the other is like a VP at Cisco Systems) and were constantly talking about their vacations to Europe, private school for the kids, sending other peoples kids to college, how they pay $1000 a month for a gardner, blah blah blah... :blah: They are also both full time moms. They don't brag, don't get me wrong, are very down to earth, I just felt like I couldn't have LESS in common with them. Sometimes I'm too focused on my life, what I want, what I don't have, whatever. I wish I could be more outgoing and supportive and fun in situations like that, I guess. So anyway, that part of the weekend kind of made me feel not so good about who I am and my life. Maybe I just need to learn to relax. :p

Anyway, I can't address everything you guys posted this weekend, otherwise I'll be up all night! But Ang, I don't have many friends either and I've lived here practically all my life. Most of my close friends have moved away, or went away to college and are back but have different lives now, families, etc. I have the group of friends that I had the fallout with, and really, I don't have much in common with the people at work. I like the idea of joining a group or doing volunteer work to meet like minded people, I'm just not sure what I want to do... I also used to be into bars and clubs and tended to have friends (or more acquantances) that were into "partying" which I can't stand anymore. I guess my lifestyle has changed a lot in the past couple of years and I just haven't met many new people since that time. Most of the time I'm just content to spend time with Mike, but I do miss having close girlfriends to talk to about stuff. I know it can be really hard when you end up spending all of your evenings alone, believe me I've been there. Like Mette, my interests tend to include more solitary activities like reading, listening to music, writing, art, things like that.

It's really good news about the bf wanting kids! I wish you would have heard that from him directly, but it's still good news. I'm glad you got to spend some time with him this weekend, I know you need to get as much time in with him as you can given your schedules. I also think you are an intelligent, kind, wonderful person, just like Mette said. You deserve the best! :D

Mette: Good for you on the organizing! It really does feel good to have things in order. I was much like you when I was in school, had all my notes typed up on the computer, very organized. I loved it and miss the studying, tests, and lectures alot. Sick, I know! :lol: I bought some filing "baskets" last week and made hanging files for all of our paperwork. I finally tamed the paper monster which was taking over the house and things feel much calmer now. Did you get to see the movie? Anthing good?

As far as a food budget, I think it's really hard to say. I usually feel like I'm spending less when I eat out more, but I know that isn't true. When I buy groceries for me and Mike, it's typically about $135 a week (which includes usually one or two expensive cuts of meat like new york steaks or filet mignion, and chicken breasts, which seem to cost alot too). When I was eating healthy before and just shopping for myself (and was a vegitarian) it was about $65 a week, but I was also more concerned about my budget then. I know I probably spend more on food than I need to, and end up buying too much produce that goes bad before we eat it. I'm getting better about that, though.

Anyway, I've posted enough already, I'm sure. I hope you guys have a great week. I'm back to work tomorrow so it should be interesting to get back into the swing of things. Look forward to talking to you two this week! ;)

P.S.- I don't even want to TELL you about all the horrible (but really good!) things I ate this weekend. But it included something like tri-tip, hommade peach ice cream, carrot cake, lasagna, chicken caccitori, hamburger, alcohol (I had one BIG drink and I don't even know what was in it), french toast, bacon, etc. etc... I'm really afraid to see what the scale has to say tomorrow, but boy was it good! :hungry:

Good morning.

Glad to have you back Jessica. It sounds like all-in-all you had a good weekend. :D Glad to hear it. Your day with your brother seems like a special treat for you.

What made you decide to get your hair cut short? What did everyone say at work? Different can be wonderful though and the short cut may force you to put a little effort into doing your hair in the morning and maybe it will make you feel even better about yourself during the day because you'll have a cute haircut.

I just looked at the clock and realize that I need to get to the lab to run my subject. I'll be back later.

btw Jessica - I had a very bad eating weekend and have no excuse. I'm glad you enjoyed what you ate though. Today is a new day and back to 'life'.

Enjoy your Mondays. :)

I’m starting to believe that you guys are right, and that my hunger is part of an increased metabolism – after introducing weightlifting and more protein – because I’ve lost another 2lbs this week! I’m now 1 pound away from the “point of maintenance” – so I think I just started maintaining today. A couple of months before my original plan, but that’s OK. So - I’m officially a maintainer as of today! Yey! :lol:
I’m also one pound away from 60lbs lost! The numbers of pounds I’ve lost are starting to get impressive too.

I’m not sure how to do this – but I’m thinking that I’ll continue eating between 1500 and 1800 calories – and see to that I have a couple of more days a week where I eat 1800. I have been trying to average on 10.500 calories a week, and think I’ll aim for 11.500 this week.
What do you guys think? Too much too fast? Try it and see what happens? Sounds OK?
Ideas and thoughts are very welcome, as always!

And Ang – it was very nice chatting with you this weekend. And it’s also very nice to have Jessica back!!! Welcome home, Jessica! ;)

Ang, you’re right that it’s about having the option to call and meet up with people. When solitude is chosen, it’s not loneliness. And as I said, I have been where you are now, and it also occurred while I was working – being a student is easier, there’s always a lot of available people around.
As long as you enjoyed your time with the BF and your weekend Ang: that’s really the important thing! And the cowboy hat sounds like an excellent birthday gift! You could add small romantic stuff for the day and celebration itself – you know, like chocolate, good vine, candle lit dinner… OK, I have to stop now. I just realized that every romantic thing I can think of includes lots and lots of calories!!!! :lol:
Are you creative enough to paint signs for the vegetables yourself? That would be a great gift!

My classes started last week – we’re doing community psychology and health psychology right now, which is OK. Not overly interesting, but not a complete bore either. We’re going to do a term paper on a subject we chose, so I’m going to write about adolescence and depression, and use the things I learned during summer. Oh yes. Why waste it, when it’s there? ;)
Later we’re doing neurobiology and psychology; I like biology so I hope I’ll like the course.
And I know just how lucky I am: I love being a student too. :D

Jessica, your hair sounds wonderful! Glad your weekend was very nice too. Alone-time with your brother and a lot of time with your relatives – I get that it was nice, but also pretty exhausting!
So, did I know that you smoked? :lol: I was actually surprised to read that you went out for a smoke, but I think you’ve mentioned it before. It says something about the ‘default’ in my head: these days I think of everybody as nonsmokers until proven smokers! While I smoked it was different.
I’m sorry the weekend left you feeling not so good about yourself and your life, Jessica – I hope it went away once you got home again? I think it’s important to look at what we’re happy with and what we want to change in our lives, but feeling low is never good.

I have to stop writing and get going. Have great Mondays. And where did Renee go?

~Just another manic monday~ ~ooohh ooohh~

Hee, morning ladies. Yup, another fun (but not so healthy) weekend was had. It was the last few days my dad was visiting, so Sat. we went out for breakfast. I had french toast, bacon and milk. Yuuum. We ran around shopping for a while, then drove him to the airport. He had to get his last Portillo's meal in. (Chicago Hot Dog chain. Very very very very yummy.) We ate there like four times this week! Another hot dog, beef or tamale and I am going to burst like a pinata! He really enjoyed it though.

Saturday night was another party! Oy! Ya know, I never was into the party scene or anything all through my 'party years' - now that I am tipping towards the big 3 0 - I am all like clinging to my youth and trying to catch up on what I missed. Granted, we really don't do it all the time, just recently it's been pretty active. What with Softball ending, Fantasy Football starting, our friend from overseas station (Air Force) comes in next weekend.

But still it was fun. I haven't watched what I've eaten, or looked at the scale. I don't think I am going to - I know that I've been bad and I think I will just ignore it for right now. My friends come in on Wed. so there is little chance of being able to accurately count calories or avoid this or that until they leave. I _AM_ going to give up Soda this week though. That's something I can do. Maybe I can learn to like Diet... *CRY* :(( Or not. At least I really like water already.

My sister is still reading the South Beach book - and some of the lines she is reading are really starting to scare me! I am going to keep a positive outlook and hope that after that first phase, my body doesn't WANT the things it says I cant have anymore.
Like... mashed potatos? Cry... no don't take my spuds away.

Anyway. Todays plan: Drop the soda. Enjoy the visit from my friends on Wed. through Tues. REALLY enjoy my 3 days off work and my 5 day weekend. *drool* Keep a positive attitude, and really really try to not let work bust me up too much.

Oh! Side note. Everyone is back in the office. Yaaay!

Jessica - some very wise people have told me that you cannot compare yourself to others. I know it can be hard when you are among people that seem to have different things than you, but now that you are back in your life, can you appreciate all the things you have? You seem pretty happy with your life, don't let one weekend change that.

Congratulations mette on your weight loss. I had no doubts. :D I think you have made a good decision to start maintaining now. It seems like it will do wonders for you mentally. If you continue to lose will it bother you? You are amazing! If I could be as 'good' as you I would be half way to my goal by now.

mette - at 11,500 a week you are only adding 1,000 calories per week which is less than 150 per day. I don't think it is too much. If you are losing 2 pounds in one week then your 'deficit' is actually 7,000 calories! I do think you should gradually increase your caloric intake, but you will probably find that you need to be around 1800 every day to not continue to loss (maybe even 2000 eventually). I also know that there are some psychological things that you probably have to go through to shift to maintaining and I am not going to pretend to understand all of those. Particularly since you have been hungry lately, I would go for 1800 a day and see what happens. Let us know of course.

Coming up with nonfood romantic stuff is hard. Jessica and Renee, do you have any bday gift ideas that are romantic? Unfortunately I am probably not creative enough (and don't have the time) to make signs that would be worthy. To bad he already has overalls. :lol:

Just at hought in my head to share - today i talked with bf really briefly and he was telling me about something that he thought he already told me. No wonder he doesn't talk to me more, he thinks in his head that we are having these great conversations. It is so sad to see him so scattered and stressed. I know it's not my problem, but what's a girl to do? :o

mette - your classes sound interesting. Although I don't think I would want to be a psychologist, I always loved studying psychology. People are so interesting.

Jessica - I was also surprised to read that you are a smoker. How long have you smoked? Any thoughts about quitting? (I promise I won't preach. :) )

Renee - glad you had such a good weekend and what seems like a fun visit with your father. You also seem to be doing so much socially - good for you. I envy you.

Giving up soda Renee is a good idea. I have read so many times that people can drink themselves into being overweight. I gave up most nonwater drinks a couple of years ago. I actually like water and when I have something else now it really tastes too sweet (even diet) or just not as thirst quenching.

Good luck at work Renee and Jessica. Renee - good plan for the day. Let usknow how it went, especially the positive attitude since that is so important for accomplishing all other goals.

So far I have been relatively good with my eating today and my attitude. As bad as I feel mentally and physically after eating way too much crap since Thursday night, I keep telling myself that it took four days to eat the food and put the weight back on so it will take AT LEAST 4 days to get it out. I need to get to the grocery store to help stay on track. I had a SlimFast shake this morning, lunch was a tomato, eggplant, some cheese, yogurt, and 2 thin slices of chicken breast and a small piece of chocolate :( . I have an apple for later. I ran 30 minutes at lunch time and will spend an hour on the farm tonight. I don't know what else I might have tonight but it will probably be more eggplant, tomatoes and green peppers (yes, all from my garden). Yum.

I hope all your evenings go well.

Well my sister and I did something bold tonight. It's left me really depressed, and what I thought would be good motivation, has me completely crushed emotionally. We were/are determined to do the South Beach Diet (starting after my visitors leave so I don't cheat on Phase I) so we took our weights. (No big deal, still 183 phew) Our measurements.. (my THIGH is what my waist should be *puke*) And then pictures in two piece bathing suits. I was shocked. I have been hiding the truth from myself under baggy clothes and avoidance. I used to say 'yah I could lose some weight, I'm chubby'. The truth is, what I saw in those pictures today were two fat girls. :( It's got me nearly physically sick. And angry too! I know that as bad as I feel - tomorrow at work, I will adopt a shove it to the side mentallity and not stick with anything. I don't know what to do anymore! I wonder sometimes if I am mentally depressed (I dont think so...?) but I just can't stay on track with anything. I get to lunch hour at work, and go, "Wow it's nice out, I should walk.. no walking sucks, I'll just drive down to Taco Bell and get really bad stuff to eat. That's more fun."

My plan to give up Soda? Failed at lunch. Or to at least try and make better choices? Failed. I ate so bad today. Just like I have all week. Exercise? Haven't done a drop in ages. Everything seems like it's a) a burdern and b) useless - I guess I feel like a completely lost cause on this.

And it makes me so mad, because at night, sometimes I can work myself up into really wanting and expecting to get it right. But the second I wake up that mood, that desire, that... everything is gone! I want to change how I am. I want to be healthy, I want to have the energy and range of motion that I used to have. I want to be able to wear shorts in the summer. (It's been four years since I put shorts on in public - and we are talking summers with temperatures in the mid to upper 90's) I want the old me back, but all I can see is this ugly person in the mirror - no sign of what I want to see. And, if there's no light at the end of the tunnel, why bother going through it?


Sigh, I am really sorry to dump such sad pathetic garbage on you guys. :( I just need to find a way to get out of this hole, find a reason to start climbing or something.

So yah, anyway. Today sucked big time. I didn't stick to any of my goals, or anything. Work sucked again. My boss and controller came down on me, started talking at me like I'm an idiot because I can't keep up with how often they change the rules on how things should be done. One day it's Renee, the sky is blue, I told you the sky was blue... you shouldn't have to ask me that, do some work and remember the sky is blue. The next day it's, What made you think the sky was blue? It's green. You should have asked me to verify that for you. I don't know where you got that it was blue... it's always been green.

And you just can't argue with the Owner of the company. So really, I have a no win situation. I think that job really is giving me a lot more stress than I am skilled to handle. I gotta find a way to start fresh. On everything.

Anyway, sorry again, thanks for letting me have a place to /rant when I need to.

Good evening everyone!

Ang and mette: Yeah, I'd mentioned the smoking thing before when we all first started writing to each other. I know, as "healthy minded" as I've become it seems a little contradictory that I would have such a bad habit. I've smoked since I was a teenager which I have since learned was such a critical mistake; I use it as a crutch, like some people use food, to deal with celebrations, stress, sadness, any emotion really... And since I started before I developed real coping skills, it's not just the physical addiction I have to overcome but also learning new emotional skills as an adult that I never really had to develop. I know I need to quit, in fact I'm reading a really good novel right now about a woman dying of cancer and it scares the daylights out of me. Mike smokes too, and the health risks are even more apparent to him because his father died of emphasema when Mike was only about 13 years old. That's a whole different issue that I have to deal with someday, in addition to the eating and exercising. I can't really go there right now.

Mette: You are so awsome!!! Two more pounds is outstanding. See, it is your metabolism!!! Congrats on all of your achievements so far, and I hope we can help you during your maintaining period, too. I agree with Ang, you may need to increase your calorie intake even more than you're planning if you continue to lift weights during your 9 months of maintenance. Maybe just slowly start increasing and monitor what happens with your body. Remember too that you will be gaining muscle, which will weigh more than fat but which will also in turn require more calories to maintain. It shouldn't be so complicated, huh?

Ang: I think my "unhappiness" over the weekend came not so much from envying what others had or not appreciating what I have, but from worrying that they would judge me for what I don't have or for what my life is like. I wasn't willing to put myself out there for everyone's scrutiny, so I just listened to them tell their stories and kept mine to myself. I guess I was most upset with myself for not having the confidence to be proud of who I am and where I am in my life, not with my life itself. It's that self-conciousness and self-esteem thing that I think we're all dealing with to a certain extent. I didn't think my life was interesting enough to share with everyone while they told stories of their world-travels. Money has never been a big deal for me, as long as I'm comfortable I'm happy. The simple things in life make me happy, like Mike leaving a sweet note for me to find this morning after he left for his trip. I don't have kids to talk about, I have cats. I don't get to travel the world, I go to work every day and work hard. These types of stories just don't sound that great when you're in a room full of active, bubbly parents with more in the bank than my house is worth. Anyway, I'm looking at this all closely and will try to work on being myself, not caring what other people think, being proud of my life. It's not easy, I'll tell ya!

As far as things to do for the bf's birthday... I had a thought, and it might be silly but I'll share it anyway. My vision is of an outdoor, romantic picinic at night at the farm. A blanket, candles, dinner, music on the portable stereo... I was just thinking that the farm is one place that you both really seem to enjoy being together, maybe that would be a good place for a romantic evening? I don't know how the logistics would work, if there is a good spot to set it up, or how you would get him there to surprise him (but I think a surprise would be best) but it seems romantic when I picture it. And mette's right; it IS hard to think of romance without thinking of food somehow! The other nice thing might be to try and book a room at a bed and breakfast or spa type hotel where you could get away for a night or two. Again, given your schedules it might be hard to arrange, but it sounds like getting away even for 1 night would do him some good since he's so stressed out.

That's what Mike's doing for me in September for our 9 month anniversary. He booked 2 nights at a spa-resort place up north of here. Did I mention I get the feeling that he might propose to me during that trip? He's made a REALLY big deal about it, reminding me, saying "only x weeks until our vacation..." calling the hotel several times to make sure the room is reserved, researching it online and talking with his friends who've been there about it... I don't know, maybe I'm reading too much into it. It will be interesting!

By the way, I forgot to mention I'm so sorry you had such a hard time this weekend, especially with your bad food days. I gained 3 lbs since last week, so I know how that feels. I hope you were able to go shopping and stock up on the healthy food for the week so you'll be happier with your eating by Friday. You have really been doing so well, and all your fresh veggies sound so good!

Renee: Wow, you really have been having a great social life lately, huh? I hope that's helping to relieve some of your stress. Yeah, like I've mentioned before, the "South Beach Diet" was a bit difficult for me to stick to, and I LIKE to cook. There was way too much preparation, and it was really restrictive the first two weeks. In fact, I only managed it for 1 week, but I lost 7 lbs in that week. I know it wasn't fat that I lost, but still pretty impressive. I'll be interested to find out from you how you like the diet and if it's working for you. Keep us posted! The soda thing would be good to give up. I've never liked soda much, so it hasn't been a big deal for me. There is so much sugar in those drinks, I bet that alone would boost your energy and help you lose weight. Let us know how that goes.

Anyway, enough babbling for one night. Hope everyone had a good day. Talk to you all tomorrow!

Renee- I missed your last post before I posted mine. So sorry about that. I have a question for you. When you think about the course of your life, think hard about timelines, where you've been and what you've done, think about where you were when you lost your flexibility, started gaining weight, and stopped being that person you were. Maybe for you, exploring some of the issues surrounding other aspects of your life, social, work, family, and the choices you've made in the past would be a good tool to figure out why you're not following through with sticking to goals, how you got here in the first place, where your motivation comes from, what purpose food serves in your life, etc. I don't claim to have all of this figured out for myself, not by a longshot, but I think our health is tied pretty closely to our state of mind. Have you thought about starting a journal?

I'm so sorry you are feeling so discouraged. The "bathing suit" photo can really be a wake-up call. I've done it. It's not pretty. Don't let that derail your plans. You really can do this, I think we all just need to do a lot of soul searching to be truly committed and successful.

Have you had any luck with the resume? I'm sure work isn't helping matters in the least. And please, don't ever feel like you have to appologize for ranting here. You just need to get it out and explore how you're feeling and this is the perfect place to do it. Again, maybe writing in a journal could help you find some perspective, too.

Hang in there, girl. We're here for you!

Well my sister and I did something bold tonight. It's left me really depressed, and what I thought would be good motivation, has me completely crushed emotionally.
...
Anyway, sorry again, thanks for letting me have a place to /rant when I need to.

For the most part you can just reread Renee's post and put my name at the end. Renee, we both seem to be in similar places and it sucks. Hopefully we will all be able to help each other but I know I don't know how.

It's a very bad mental/emotional day here too. I have so much work to do too but just can't give a sh*# or get focused.

I just wanted to add thanks to Jessica for your posts. I think your idea is great for the bday. I'll see if that can be arranged since it will depend on his schedule.

I'm sorry I can't write when I get upset like this but it makes me think and feel, which makes me more upset, and I can't do anything about it while at work so it just makes me feel worse. I think you can imagine the cycle. I'll try to write later and really apologize for being self centered right now.

Renee and Ang: I’m really sorry you two are having such a crappy day. Please take care of yourselves. :grouphug:
You both know you’re always welcome to rant here.

And if I can say something, I wish you would stop beating yourself up, Ang. When you put in your signature that your results are pathetic – that's really not a very nice or good thing to say. Which, of course you know. It’s just that when you’re feeling really lousy, there really is no use in making it worse! Right now, your signature is making it worse, I think.

There is no way your results are pathetic. You have lost 55lbs since 2002 – there is no way you can overlook that. So you had a bad spring and summer trying to figure out your new life? Well at least you maintained your weight and didn’t gain up toward 242 again! Which is an accomplishment in itself! I understand that you’re feeling lousy and get depressed sometimes, but your results are never pathetic.
And could you please consider taking it out of your signature?

Jessica – about the smoking – I don’t think quitting should be taken lightly either. When I quit, I had been smoking forever, and I also used cigarettes instead of better coping skills. And quitting was quite a struggle for me, so I think you’re smart when you choose your battles - trying to quit when not fully motivated is a completely waste in my opinion. It takes everything you’ve got to do.

And I hope you are OK and feeling fine, Jessica. You have every reason in the world to be proud of your life. But still, sometimes it’s easy to get sidetracked and get caught up in other people’s glamorous lives!

And - if Mike proposes – will you say yes? Do you want him to? :love:

Great thoughts about thinking of your life in terms of timelines – I suggest journals too. And therapy. (Well, yes, I know I’m biased – but I still think most of us could use some time with a therapist and work through issues in our past that screw up our present). I did therapy for 2 years, I stopped going last spring – and am considering to start up again this winter. I like having a place where I can make sense of all the confusing emotions and moods that’s been messing things up for me.

And just a quick word on protein powder: not a big success so far. A big NO for putting it anywhere near my oatmeal or dip (cottage cheese + hot hot salsa) – it just tasted *wrong*. I also tried it with milk – as a shake – and that activated my gag reflex and bad memories from countless diets on liquid shakes. So a very bit NO to that.
But OK in my oatmeal pancake, and also in muffins. So far. I will try to make a proper smoothie with plain yogurt, banana, kiwi and maybe some mango – and see if the protein powder is OK with that.

Hope everybody’s days improve a lot!!!! :goodvibes

After having a week off, I'm home this morning with cramps that could kill a cow. :moo: I feel awful for missing even a couple of hours at work. I think I need to see my doctor about all the "female" problems I've been having. It's starting to concern me. :( In fact the pain was so severe this morning that after trying midol and advil, I got my vicodin prescription filled that the dr. at the hospital prescribed me for the cyst. I didn't know what else to do. Does anyone else experience this? Do you have any suggestions? Aaarrrgh. Well, at least startin my period might explain the three lbs. I gained. ha ha...

Ang: I agree with mette that you may be to harsh on yourself, much like I am with the exercise. I don't want to tell anyone they need therapy, I know it's a sensitive subject, but I went to a counsellor about a year ago and it helped a lot to talk with someone detached and unbiased about my life.

Mette: Thank you for the support about the smoking. It IS very difficult to quit, the longest I managed was 1 month and it felt like the longest month of my life! Of course, I wish I'd never started but hindsight is 20/20. And about Mike and if I would say yes if he asked... absolutely. Even though I've been divorced and it was horrible, I never was bitter against marriage because of it. It was just the wrong person at the wrong time. I very much want to settle down and have a family someday and I see Mike as being my partner in life and my best friend in addition to being my bf. I've never felt so loved. Did I ever mention that we met online? Yup. It's a little weird telling people that, because there's a bit of a stigma, but seeing as though we would have never met otherwise, I'm pretty thankful that I did it. In fact if you guys want to see a picture of us, we are on the e-harmony "success" page here: http://www.eharmony.com/core/eharmony?cmd=testimonials2 :D That picture was taken in February when we went to Hearst Castle for Valentine's Day.

You've come up with some pretty creative uses for the protein powder. Sorry they haven't all been tasty, but at least you're experimenting. I usually get vanilla flavored and make shakes or add it to my yogurt. I really think it's trial and error to find one you like. One that I found that's pretty good is "Isis" which is soy protein that is geared toward women. I found it at Trader Joe's and I don't think it was terribly expensive.

Well, I think the vicodin is kicking in. Now I just want to go to sleep. :dz: Feeling "normal" never feels better than after you've felt terrible pain. Ahhh... Getting much better.

Anyway, hope everyone's day improves, too. I hope I can drag myself to the office and salvage the rest of mine. Bye for now.

Oy. I just read Jessica’s post! I just want to clarify that I do not mean that any of you *need* therapy! :foot:
I just meant generally – in life – getting to know oneself – etc – I think journals are a good thing, and I also think therapy is a good thing!
Just want to be 100% clear on that! :^:

And Jessica – how nice to see your face! It’s so nice to have a face to connect the posts to. You both look absolutely adorable! :D Such a nice story too! And I’m glad for you both that you found each other!
Now we all have to look into getting photos of us online too of course... ;)

Sorry to hear about your cramps, and yes – seeing your doctor sounds like a very good idea. I’m sorry to say that I don’t have any good ideas for you – except for hot bottles and hot baths – but that’s for minor cramps and not the kind you need drugs for.

The stigma of meeting online? Really? There’s a stigma? I’ve never actually gotten that impression before, I have friends who met online – and know several more couples, and I’ve never heard anything negative about it. Maybe that says more about my friends, though! :p

Good luck getting to the office!

Jessica that picture is awesome! You can definately see how connected you guys are. And yeah, no Stigma here. The friends coming to visit include one Canadian I met online 10 years ago through a game we both play. We met in person a few times, and a few years after that started dating. While we are not dating currently, there is definately a bond there that will never be broken. :)

As for live journaling, I have one, on, what would you know? The livejournal website. :D It helps on some things, not on others. Like, when the cat had to be put down, I posted there, and it helped me get over that pretty fast. But recurring problems, like work- no amount of journaling or anything seems to help me. Work is definately my biggest hurdle. Nothing about work provides a positive response with me - and food/snack/junkyeating is my stress relief. I really think getting out of here, is going to be the best shot I have at reworking my lifestyle.

Like just two minutes ago, I had to call my boss who is out, to explain that he (the boss) has specifically told me to only sell this customer cast film, and the customer is 100% certain he wants blown film. I am to 'give him cast without saying he is getting cast' - so basically I am lying, and when it comes down and he sees CAST on the boxes, I am going to be the one that gets blamed for it. I need out.

Anyway... sigh. I am happy to announce that as of 1:30pm my meals have included:
Slimfast for breakfast.
Soup and 1/2 of a low carb whole grain tortillla sante fe wrap. No beans, or sourcream. So, the wrap, some cheese, chicken breast and salsa. I forgot to ask for tomato instead of fries, but limited myself to just 10 french fries.
And the biggest, hardest change I did today. I had DIET Coke for lunch. *blech* But I still had it.

Maybe there is hope for me yet! Well work just got real busy all of a sudden, I'll write back and touch on the other topics of today in a bit.

I changed the signature. I really appreciate your support. Unfortunately a lot of times I am a negative person and a pessimist. I try not to be when I can but sometimes I just don't seem to control it. I know it's good I lost the weight but then I put on 15 since I moved here. I guess it's not the full amount, but still bad. I have a presentation at a conference next month and I'm not going to be able to fit into my suit. I'm not sure what I am going to do as I am not going to buy a new suit (I only wear a suit once or twice a year).

To add insult to injury - I am this way with therapy. I actually have a mental illness that I really haven't talked about so I have been in and out of therapy for years. I'm still here so I guess some of it has helped, but I still have a lot of things to work out. Right now I am not on regular medication for my problems but I have been considering going back on something. We'll see. Right now I am being stubborn and saying no.

I was thinking about starting a journal again but in some ways I use posting here as a kind of journal. I don't know if I have enough time for a journal and keeping up with all of you. :lol:

mette - I'm glad I didn't remember to buy the protein powder the other day. Does it have a taste? Right now I am trying to remember to incorporate flax seed meal into my diet. I think it is just a habit I need to get into. It's not easy without cooking so I can only add it to things like cereal. Let us know how it works in the smoothie. It sounds delicious.

Jessica - I'm so sorry to hear about your cramps. I used to get them pretty badly and unfortunately just suffered through them. Have you tried hot water bottles? Stretching? Massage? Sometimes light exercise actually helps. I hope they are better for you soon.

Jessica - I have met a few people online. I think it is getting to be a regular thing. It just depends on your 'crowd' I think. I met my current bf online and my ex-husband. I know what you mean though about being hesitant to mention it to people. There are some people that still think it's a little odd or at least won't admit that there is nothing odd about it. :dizzy: You two make a really great couple. How pretty you are. :) I will keep my fingers crossed that Mike asks you to marry him. You seem really happy - it's wonderful.

I also am glad to put a face to the name. If any of you want to see me (looking professional which is so not me normally) you can check me out on my work page. Just PM me or e-mail me and I'll try to send a url, because I don't want to give my full name on this public forum.

Yeah for Renee! :jig: :bravo: :cb: :dance: Awesome job today with your eating and all this with stress at work. Your boss sounds like a real jerk. Get out and don't look back.

Breakfast - cereal (I can really tell when I skip my fiber for a few days.)
smoked turkey and lf cheese sandwich, banana, soybeans (cahun - yum).
Ready for a snack - peanuts or more soybeans, maybe with an apple
Dinner - no clue yet - not good but I have veggies at home so probably something like that.

Work is almost over - yeah! Jessica - did you make it back to work?

Hi everyone,

I did make it to work, felt doped up but at least I was there. They really needed me there in the afternoon, so I was grateful I felt well enough to be there. I'm still in pain, although it's milder than it was this morning. I have an appt. with my Dr. on Friday, so she may be able to at least give me some advice. I had some errands planned for after work but opted to come home and relax instead. I'll finish posting, read and hit the sack early. I'm tired of always having something wrong with me. People at work think I'm falling apart, and maybe I am. :p

Thank you for all the comments and compliments on my picture with Mike! I was so happy when they posted that on their site; we're "almost" famous! ;) I think you're all right; maybe there used to be more of a stigma about online dating but now it's becomming more of a normal way of meeting people. I had dated others I'd met online, but Mike was the only one on e-harmony. It's a bit more expensive than the other sites but really finds people that are compatable with you, not just on a superficial level. I'd highly reccomend it to anyone looking. :love:

Mette: I'm so sorry about what I said about the therapy; I certainly didn't mean that you were telling anyone they needed therapy. I was just trying to suggest it based on my personal experience and didn't want it to come accross like I was telling Ang what to do. That wasn't directed at you at all! :sorry: We are both in agreement that it can be a good thing for anyone sorting out problems in life, as well as journal writing or even coming to this community and sharing with one another. You were totally clear on what you were saying. Maybe it was I who "misspoke"! :tape:

Renee: Way to go on the food today! :high: You did great. And you felt good doing it? You sound in a much better mood today than last night and I'm really happy for you. The work thing sounds like it just sucks. There is nothing worse than being given contradictory information or being told to do something you know is wrong. What a no-win situation that is. We'll all keep you in our thoughts for finding a new job. :crossed:

Ang: Thank you, again, for the nice compliments on the photo. :D I'll have to get a new picture up somewhere with my thinner face and new hair cut! By the way, I come from a long line of family members with various mental illnesses- depression, anxiety disorders, schizophrenia, so if you ever want to talk about it here or privately, please don't hesitate. The irony of it all is that my mom is a mental health nurse and she married my father (biological father, not step-dad) who turned out to be, from what we can tell, schizophrenic. He's actually homeless now and lives in D.C. I'm very phobic of having a mental illness given my family history, which may be where my interest in psychology comes from. I've been diagnosed with depression in the past but for the most part function fine without medication. I took Prozac for a while but my mom said it made me manic. Of course that was when I was really trying to make choices for myself and get back to school, so maybe it wasn't a bad thing, she just didn't like the choices I was making. Who knows. :?:

And if it's between a journal and us, definitely, pick us!!!! I also didn't know you've been married before. Do you mind sharing that story with us? I'd be interested to hear your opinions and experiences with the marriage thing.

Alright, ladies, time to relax and get ready for bed (at 7 p.m.; I really AM falling apart!) Hope everyone has a great evening and talk to y'all tomorrow.

Morning everyone,

I'm still feeling yucky this morning, plus I got really sick last night from the vicodin. Guess it's back to advil even if it doesn't work as well. August has just been a weird month for me! I'm looking forward to next month, my trips I have planned and hopefully just feeling better in general.

Hope everyone has a great Wednesday! The weekend is almost here... I woke up late so I have to get ready for work. Talk to you all later.

Hello Ladies.

Just a quick check-in as I MUST get some work done today. I keep getting interrupted at work by coworkers who think their issues are more important than mine. I'm ready to get mad in a second but will try to keep my cool. :p

Jessica - I'm sorry that you are not feeling better this morning. Hopefully your doctor will be able to help you. Hopefully work will fly by so you can get home and relax.

Jessica - you are not the only person to recommend eHarmony. If I decide to try again I may go there. I am not proud of my marriage as it was a mistake from the beginning. He was a nice guy but not right for me and me not right for him. We sensed it in the beginning but I think we both thought we should get married and were getting older so we went for it and ignored the nagging feelings. We even went to therapy before and after the marriage. We were just being stupid. The marriage became a disaster as our personalities clashed. We wanted a dream and forgot to realize that you have to have the right person to complete the dream. I think I learned a lot about myself during the process but in some ways I am still finding guys that are not 'right' for me so I guess I am still ignoring my own feelings. I really think there is still a lot more for me to learn about myself and until that is done I'm not sure I can ever be truly happy with a man. I don't talk to my ex anymore. I moved and he moved back in with his parents (does that tell you something about him :lol: ). He is actually getting married again in the spring. He wasted no time finding someone who was more like him and I hope he is happy. I just want to be happy too.

I'm not sure how I feel about getting married again. I had changed my name and REALLY wish I had not. We had merged our money and it was a pain to separate later. I just wanted to get out so I lost/gave up a lot of stuff and money just to make it easier on me. I bad experience all around basically. 7+ years together with 4 in the marriage and only 2+ living together. Yikes.

On to something else...Jessica, I'm sure you are not falling apart. Hang in there and it will get better. btw - I'll pick you ladies over a journal anyday. :D

Hump day again - wow!

Renee – you seem to have identified very well what you’re doing: work is the problem and eating is the symptom. As we learn in psychology: you can treat the symptom – and sometimes we do that – but it’s much better if we can solve the problem. Your boss sounds absolutely horrible! And I agree with you: you need out! And good eating btw!

Ang – I know about being a pessimist, and I always say that some of us have d*** good reasons for being pessimistic too. ;) The positive outlook, looking for the good stuff, looking for coping and success – I have to concentrate to see those. Especially with myself. For some reason it’s easier to be positive toward others. Do you find that too, Ang? Because I think of you as very supportive and positive toward the rest of us here.
For the presentation – could you wear something else, a pair of black pants and a nice shirt, or something like that?
I’m sorry you have been ill Ang, but as long as you’re OK now – at least that’s good.
I have been depressed in periods throughout my teens, twenties and thirties, but I never went into therapy or got diagnosed – I moved around too often, or at least, that was the excuse I made for myself for not doing anything with it.
The depression I got stuck in three-four years ago was really bad, and lasted for a very long time, and when I got through it, and it got a bit easier – I decided that the next time I feel this coming I’ll go into therapy or try medication as soon as I can. I don’t want to go through that again.
And I’m with Jessica: use us instead of a journal!!!! :D
Your eating looks good – do you eat the soybeans as snacks? Just plain? Does it taste good?

Jessica – I’m sure you’re not falling apart. And hopefully the doctor will put you at ease and fix you by Friday!
And I think we’re completely on the same page when it comes to what we meant about the therapy! I was so afraid that anybody would get the wrong idea from what I was saying, but I think I should trust you guys to interpret what I’m saying in the best possible meaning. Because that’s what you all do – and of course, it’s what I intended too! :D

Sorry to hear about your dad, Jessica. It seems we are struggling with some of the same issues - depression. Good to hear you’re doing well now. And I hope you’re feeling better.

Ang, sorry to hear about your bad marriage and breakup, at least it didn’t turn you off men completely. And as you’re saying: you learnt a lot about yourself in the process.

I’ve gotten a bit busy, and have a lot of writing to do.
I have one patient who’s been very ambivalent about coming to therapy – he’s met up for about half of the sessions we had during spring. So as I make a treatment plan for him I have to prepare something in writing about theoretical aspects of ‘ambivalence’ as resistance in therapy. Look into how different psychological theories tries to solve it – the reasoning behind, the methods to try out, etc. It’s always interesting to do this kind of work, when it’s rooted in a specific case or client.
And also – we have an internal newspaper/journal/magazine/whatever at the university and the next issue is going to be about psychology and movies. I want to write a piece about the psychology of heroes and heroines – and why it’s always about the hero and never about the heroine. The only heroines who have carried movies in the 00s, which I can think of, are The Bride (from Kill Bill) and Lara Croft. But the heroes? 20 movies a year!

So I’m looking at websites for information about American movies – how many have leading actresses really? And how many of those are about bona fide heroines?
Any input guys?

And as always: have a great Wednesday!

It’s been so great to get to see pictures of you guys. And I should probably stop calling you “guys” now, and start calling you what you are: beautiful women!!! :yes:
But anyway. To even things out a bit. I took my picture a minute ago while sitting here, and uploaded it as my ‘profile picture’. No preparations, posing or any professionals involved at all – so consider yourselves warned!! :p
And - you probably should look at it while it’s there – it could come down again pretty fast! :lol:

Mette: You're so cute! My hair is almost as short as yours now. I wore it curly today and actually had two guys flirt with me... I'd forgotten what that feels like- it's been awhile! I may have to wear it curly more often. ;) Your projects sound really interesting. And you're right about films; the last several movies I've seen have featured men as the heroes. The only other movie I can think of to come out this year where a woman is the heroine is "Cat Woman". Of course, all of the movies mentioned don't feature the women as "real life" people, but comic book stars, or caracatures of people. Have you thought about movies where the women were strong characters but not necessarily typical "heroines" like maybe "Cold Mountain", "Iris", "Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood" for example?

Ang, sounds like we had very similar marriage experiences, although I didn't stick mine out nearly as long as you did. I'm still using my exes last name because it's such a pain to go through changing it again. And combining the money; money was our biggest downfall. Mike and I have very similar ideas about spending and saving money (which is pretty much to just spend it!) and we've been very open about our credit histories, what we owe, what we make, and what our goals are. That's really important. I'm sure we'll still fight about it but I know it won't be a nightmare like it was with my ex. I remember him berrating me for buying my "feminine" products at a drug store instead of a grocery store because he thought they were more expensive. If THAT kind of thing can cause an all-out argument, there's definitely something wrong! :p

I'm feeling better this afternoon. Work has been pretty low-key and my tummy pain is finally subsiding. I'll get my errands done this evening and try to get to bed early again. Talk to you all later! :)

It wonderful to see pictures and put faces to names. Even though I did not consciously try to imagine whay you looked like, I found myself 'surprised' by the pictures. I much prefer the real you though and will let you all know when I get a 'better' picture in my profile.

mette - I am definitely more supportive, understanding and optimistic with other people. Actually supporting friends and loving people is what I live for and it makes me happy to help others. I just don't always listen to my own advice or for some reason I think I don't deserve what other people do. I'm working on it in therapy - maybe someday. For now I am happy to be here for you ladies and for my friends in town when they need me (and bf when he lets me :o ). btw, the jury is still out on whether or not I am OK now. Some days I think yes and some days I say no. When I can't take the nos anymore then I look into medication. That's the plan. I can get suicidal and I need to avoid that if possible.

I eat soybeans as a snack and for a little extra protein, although they don't have nearly the protein I would have thought. I eat the cajun flavored ones like they were popcorn or something. I like the flavor. Eating them plain requires putting them in a salad or something else - gives a little crunch.

I think it's amazing how many people have some sort of "mental illness" in their lives. I can't speak for you, but I know that my mental issues contributed and still contribute to my excess weight. I think it is true for many people. I applaud you (Jessica and mette) for working through your depression and becoming better people and really taking control of your lives and improving them. I learn from you everyday and hope to keep doing so.

mette - You are right that woman get the short end of the stick in movies. The only one that came to mind was Cat Woman but Jessica already beat me to it. I don't envy you the writing, as I have a lot of writing to do too and I don't want to, but it seems that you have very interesting things to write about. Depending on your definition of hero and heroine, are there that many heros to begin with or more like strong characters as Jessica metioned?

mette - I like your picture and I hope you leave it up so we can 'visit' you when we wish. :D

Jessica - even though you have Mike, how nice to have men flirt with you. When I was on the farm Sunday a new 'friend' (friend of farm friend) stopped by and expressed interest in taking me to dinner (told the friend and she told me). He met bf though and knows that I am not available right now so he did not say anything to me. I was flattered, even though he is 56!

No matter what you try, money is always issue between people. I think the relationship just depends on communicating about it, being honest, and being in the same ballpark with your ideas. It sounds like you and Mike have all this. It also sounds like your ex may have been a tad bit of a jerk.

Jessica - so glad you are feeling better. Were you able to get your errands done?

I had major problems at work with equipment and my subject today (don't get me started about how badly I am treated at work because I am female and the 'new kid' at the Institute) so I got out an hour late. Wednesdays are my big day on the farm and I was really upset that I lost half the time I had to spend there. With the sun going down so much earlier it is hard to get a lot of quality time in these days. :( I went anyway and picked a bunch of tiny tomatoes and got a little weeding done. Unfortunately I didn't even put a dent in what needs to be done or even what I wanted to get done. Oh well, I worked well into the dark until I couldn't tell the weeds from the plants and got in about 2 hours. At least it was some exercise. Tomorrow is running again with the club for 30 minutes. I'm hanging in there ladies and trying to stay with it. Needing accountability (since you are all my journal ;) ),

breakfast - cereal
lunch - turkey and lf cheese sandwich, yogurt, banana (couple of small carrots and ~6 little pretzels brought in by coworker)
snack (5pm) - protein bar and apple
dinner (9pm) - 2 slices tomato, green pepper, 2 small eggplant, 1 wedge cow cheese (I don't remember what it is called but it has something to do with cows and it is circular with little individually wrapped cheese wedges), peanutbutter sandwich

At dinner I craved something warm and/or something meat but didn't really have anything that I thought was appropriate so I managed to not eat anything else. I will try to eat something hot for dinner tomorrow night after the pub run.

Wednesday is over - not a great day but definitely not the worst. :)

Good morning!

Jessica, thanks for mentioning the movie Cat Woman – I had actually forgot (repressed? ;) ) it. I do agree with you – that when you go for real life strong characters, there are more women to choose from. Not many, but there are more. But for this I want to look at heroines, because I want to use the French feminist Luce Irigaray. She writes that women are not included as a gender of their own in the symbolic realm, that the only gender that exists is man – and that woman are simply seen as negation of man. Women are what men are not.
I want to use this point in discussing heroes and heroines – when the hero’s story is told so many more times, in so many different ways and repeatedly, and the heroine’s story so seldom – we don’t get strong symbols or archetypes (to use Jung) for heroines – and what a heroine’s journey, story or quest is about.
Oh yes – feminism is poring out! :D
Irigaray is a psychoanalyst and writes from that tradition, Jung is of course also a writer of psychology – so they are my theoretical link to psychology (and not only feminism!). I’m just doing drafts so far, I haven’t sorted it all out in my head yet. But the point of the whole thing is of course that we want more heroines!!! :lol:

Jessica – glad to hear you’re feeling better! Hopefully you got to go to bed early and sleep.

Ang – I know what you mean, I was a bit surprised by the pictures of you guys as well. I don’t know why exactly – and as you I prefer the real you! :D

You are right that an important thing is to avoid becoming suicidal, and one thing I learned through therapy was my own “warning signs”. I know now, that when I get the need to be alone all the time, the need to do nothing, or the need to sleep all the time I have to consider very carefully whether I’m becoming depressed again. It’s not so easy to just monitor emotions and moods – because I still have downs and blues and such – and it doesn’t have to have anything to do with depression.
You seem to have a plan and know what to do about it, so you’ll be able to take care of yourself. And that is a very good thing.
And that the depression is connected to weight gain? Definitely! I gain weight when I’m depressed, there’s no question or uncertainties but a 1:1 relationship. It’s about isolation, no energy, sleeping, trying to numb myself: I eat constantly and I eat only fatty, sweet comfort food.
When you look at the DSM or other manuals to find the symptoms of depression, the only symptom connected to eating is loss of appetite. And frankly, it's just not correct. Sometimes it's about increased appetite!

Sorry your day yesterday wasn’t too good – that you both lost time at the farm, and that they treat you badly at work. No wonder you’re wondering about leaving if that’s the case. Your eating looked really good though.

And just to report in on the protein powder (and yes – I bought unflavored): I put it in a smoothie with banana, kiwi and plain yogurt this morning, and it was actually very tasteful. I didn’t notice it was there at all. :smug:

Hope you’re having a nice day, all of you.

Hey everyone,

Just home for lunch and checking in. Work has been busy yesterday and today, but I got more pats on the back from our manager and supervisor yesterday, which felt really good. I'm very lucky that they don't hold back on the praise in my new department. The front office staff is pretty "clicky" and gossipy, I just try to stay out of that, but at least management recognizes when the employees are doing above and beyond what's expected. Maybe people tend to only do what's expected which is why they notice, I don't know. I seem to come accross a lot of problems that need to be solved; by taking the initiative to solve them, I'm learning a lot and having to go to my bosses and ask for their advice. This is great because they see that I'm catching things that others have missed and that I'm showing "leadership" skills, but I'm also ending up with an increased workload because of all the problems I'm having to fix. Sheesh.

Anyway, enough about that. Yes, isn't it funny how we construct our own mental images of what everyone looks like, even without trying? And Ang, I was really impressed with your "bio" on the site you sent me. What a smart woman you are!! And what beautiful and smart women you ALL are! ;)

I got my errands done last night and went to bed kind of late. I'm sleepy today but it's our "Friday" so it's not so bad. I have a Dr. appointment tomorrow morning and then I'm going to detail my car with my step-dad. That's pretty much how he and I bond, so it should be a good thing. Mike is due home Saturday morning, so I'm looking forward to having him back.

Anyway, I'll check in again after work. Hope everyone's having a great day!! :D

This place has been quiet today. Where are Ang and Renee?

I’m so glad to hear you’re having a good time at work Jessica. It’s very good when the management actually notices that you take initiative and solve problems, I’m sure you’re constantly confirming for them that they did a good choice when they gave you your new project. You’ll be boss and run the office in no time! Just wait and see! :D

Hope everything goes well at the doctor too.

As of this morning I have done my introductory 4 weeks at the gym – so on Monday I’ll start increasing weight. I have to read up on Krista and the LWL forum about “lifting to failure” – as far as I understand it’s the only way you get strong: you lift to failure every time! It sounds heavy! ;) I’m a bit excited and a bit anxious. I’ll start Monday with lower body.

I had a very good morning at the gym today; for the first time there was another woman lifting weights. So at least there were two of us there for a while.
I actually think that the muscles in my arms are bigger and more defined already, but I could be fantasizing… ;)

Hope you all have good Fridays.

PS: And yes Jessica, I got very curious as to what you changed your mind about… :p

Hi everyone,

Wow, I can hear the crickets in here, it's so quiet! Hope everyone is having a great Friday!

Mette: You have been so good with the weights! Have you been taking measurements? I bet your muscles are growing and you are getting stronger. I don't think it's your imagination! Let us know how the lifting goes next week. Oh, and what I changed about my post... well, it was about pornography and what you guys feel about men you're with using it... I won't go into the story, but I was able to talk to a friend about it and felt better, didn't think it needed to be discussed here, as I wasn't sure how everyone would feel about it. Anyway, I deleted that part of my post fearing it might be offensive, sort of, or at least way off topic for what we talk about here.

The highlight of my day yesterday was receiving a delivered boquet of flowers from one of my customers! It was a large bouquet with gerber dasies (my favorite flower, in fact), carnations, daisies and snapdragons. It's very lovely. He called right after it was delivered to explain why he sent them, so I wouldn't get the wrong idea. He said that he loves working with people like me and he knew I was going to go the extra mile to help him out (I found someone's mistake and saved his client about $7200). He said that he knows we work a thankless job and never hear how good we are. So, he wanted to make my day. Isn't that awsome? I felt all "warm and fuzzy"!

Went to the doctor this morning. She pretty much said what I thought, which was that I could go back on birth control to prevent the cramps and the cysts. I stopped because I thought it might help me lose weight, but I know the truth is I gained weight because I was eating like a pig, not because I was on birth control. So I think I'll start back up with the patch and see if that helps things. She didn't seem terribly concerned, and that was reassuring. I spent the rest of the late morning and early afternoon hanging out with my step-dad. We washed and waxed my car and had lunch. It was hard work but fun and nice to spend some time with him. And exercise, too!

I'm getting ready to do some cleaning here at home, and then I have plans for dinner with a friend. We're going for sushi, and I tend to overeat at sushi places, so wish me luck with that. I haven't lost weight for two weeks now so I know I need to reign things in and get back on track. I haven't gained, either, so that's good, I just know that with my health problems and my trip to see my family, I haven't been making an effort even with my food. It's time again!

Anyway, would love to hear from Ang and Renee, too. How are you guys doing? Talk with you all later!

I can't believe I missed two days with you. I really didn't know it. Oops! I HAVE TO SLEEP so I'll catch up as soon as I can. No time at work and just pooped at home so little e-mail to anyone. Sorry.

Mette - your paper sounds like it is coming along nicely.

Jessica - glad to hear that things at work are good. Isn't it always the case that the 'better' people get more work. :D In the long run hopefully it will be a great thing for you though. It seems that the praise is already a good thing. Flowers - wow - that must have made your day as I know it would have mine. I haven't gotten flowers from anyone in a very long time. I hope you brought them home and are enjoying them every chance you get.

Glad to hear the doctor visit went well - Jessica. I hope the patch helps you. I know I don't have nearly the cramps when I am on the pill. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

mette - thanks for letting us know about the protein powder. I am still trying to remember to put my flax meal in stuff but will give the protein powder a try if I think I need more protein. One of these days I am going to sit down and really analyze my diet. I even have a running friend who is a personal trainer and is willing to look at my food with me. I'm not sure how I feel about that but that is to worry about at another time.

Have a great night - the farm calls me and the bike tomorrow but I'll try to stop in to say hello. Have wonderful Saturdays.

Jessica - I really should take my measurements. That would be a good thing to start doing while maintaining I suppose, I could see if my measurements change even if the scale (hopefully) doesn’t. Good idea!

And how wonderful that you actually got flowers for doing such a great job!!!! Wow! That is so great – no wonder you got all warm and fuzzy!!
You’re really experiencing the extremes aren’t you? One week you’re being yelled at – another week you’re getting flowers! :D

Hope you had a nice dinner with your friend (and overeating sushi? How bad can that be?). But I get that you want to get a tighter grip on your food – I’m sure it will be easier when there’s no family vacations or hospital admittances involved. ;)

Ang – good to ‘see’ you again. We missed you, you know. Good to hear you’re doing well: busy – but well.
Analyzing your diet and getting help from your running buddy too, sound like good ideas. When you feel like it, when you want to, and when it’s time for that. Maybe it’s not something you need to stress with – I think your strategy of finding out what you want to eat first is very good.

Hope you get a wonderful Saturday at the farm Ang, lots of nice weather – and remember to bring food! “Woman does not live on tomato alone!”, remember? ;)

I’m doing patient-work this weekend; writing journals, making treatment plans, reading up on problem areas and possible approaches toward those. I feel myself getting back into student-mode, the new semester is on!

I’ve been thinking a bit about my body, what I see when I look at my body – especially at the gym with all the mirrors. One of the reasons I started the weight maintenance 2 months earlier than planned, was that I didn’t really see whether I had lost weight when I looked in the mirror. I know I have – according to the scale it’s 25lbs, and my clothes are bigger. But since I had problems seeing it, I knew my head was having problems keeping up with my body. It’s back to the phenomenon of phantom fat. If I maintain for 9 months – hopefully my head will reach up with my body, and I’ll get it all together again. :p
What I think, is that being at the gym will help this process too – and not just because of the weightlifting. At the gym I look more at my body than what I normally would for an entire week (I have been trying to ignore the fact that I have a body for years now…. :lol: ). And watching myself 3 times a week for 9 months must to do good, I think.
I have fat on my back, I have a belt of fat around my waist falling over my pants when I sit down (with clothes that actually fit, like my gym clothes!). It’s visible when I squat, when I sit on the bench doing biceps curls and shoulder presses. I look at my body and I see this, but these are the things I got to get used to. I need to know what my body really looks like.
When I lost weight before I was never satisfied with the loss, it was never enough. As long as fat was visible on my body: the weight loss I had achieved had no meaning, it was no achievement, no success because I had not achieved my goal.
I do feel safer and saner now; I’m not in such a hurry. I accept that it takes time. This doesn’t mean that I don’t struggle, but at least the struggles change. Thank god for that. ;)

Have great Saturdays everybody!

Good morning!

Mette: I know, work has been a series of extremes lately! Hopefully the good will outweigh the bad. I'm still amazed I got flowers; I guess it's a lesson to all of us that the nice, little things we do to show appreciation for people in our daily lives really DO make a difference and can brighten someone's day. I'm going to pay more attention to letting people know that I appreciate them.

Dinner last night was really good. I don't spend enough time with my "girlfriends" (the few I have) so it was nice to talk and catch up. The food was really good. Of course, we don't get the healthy sushi, we get the stuff with rich sauces and tempura, so I know it's not very good for me. I also got green tea ice cream to bring home with me and it was yummy.

Mike and I are also going out to dinner tonight, and then we'll probably go out for breakfast tomorrow. He has to go back out again on Monday at 2:30 a.m., and then he'll be home that night, and then back out on Tuesday. He's been working so hard. I guess we both have in different ways. The California Lottery is up to like 97 million $$; maybe I should play, just in case!

You have been so good at being honest with yourself about your body and self-image. That's not always an easy thing to do and I know you've had a long hard road to get to this point. You should commend yourself for all of the progress you've made, not only physically but mentally too. I think when you're a cerebral person, it's too easy to just live in your head and forget that you have a body. And without your body, there is no way your brain can function. We have to find that middle ground between the two and learn to see what's really there, which is why I think your approach is such a good one. All these smart women!!

I've pretty much frittered away this morning, but it's nice being lazy sometimes. No big plans for today. I'm just glad to have Mike home. Hope Saturday is wonderful for everyone!

Measurements sound like a good idea all around. I have actually been taking measurements on and off for a couple of years. Maybe it is time for new ones - just in case the clothes are not telling the whole truth. :lol:

Today I spent 5 hours on the farm doing not much of anything but it was relaxing. I got to do some thinking, which can be good (and bad sometimes). I did get in 40 minutes of bike riding too. I planned on doubling that but got a little side tracked. Sometimes I can't be alone exercising if my mind is not in the right place - it wasn't today. I am hoping to get up early to run 6 miles with my club (or behind my club :lol: ) in the morning at 7am. Tonight I went out with friends and ate whatever I wanted at dinner. I know I shouldn't have but...

mette - can we trade jobs? :D Your work sounds so interesting. To spend all your time examining people. Maybe I wouldn't spend so much time examining myself. :)

mette - it is unbelieveable how in tune you are with your thoughts and feelings. It really sounds like you learned a lot from the past and have a healthy outlook and process going on now with weight loss. Body and self image are a tricky thing. When I was 235 I knew I was big but until I saw some pictures I really didn't realize how big in a practical sense. Now I am a little smaller but still see myself as being very large. Perception is not always truth. Good luck and continue to share your thoughts because I know it helps me too.

Good for you Jessica that you are going to take this good experience (getting flowers) and share it with others. About a year ago I really realized how easy it is for people to share negative things and complain, since then I really try to share nice things with people when I can. Just the other day I told my 'farm friend' how much I appreciated her assistance with the farm (she ahs a lot more knowledge than I do) and her company, etc. It was out of the blue but I had never told her that and she should know that she is liked and appreciated. It wasn't a big thing, she may not have even cared, but it was the right thing. We can all share a smile or a nice gesutre or a kiind word more often. I just wish it wasn't so hard to do sometimes to the people that are closest to us. Hmmm....I need to work on that one.

Sorry Jessica that time has been so tight with Mike. I hope you enjoyed your day together. Will it get better soon now that September is almost here? And couldn't we all stand to win the lottery. :lol:

Wish me luck that I do all the exercise tomorrow that I have planned and that it does not rain. Run in morning followed by much needed mowing, some time at farm doing who knows what, and then a bike ride around town (probably won't be too hard) with some friends at the farm.

I'll let you know what happens.

Are we having excellent weekends so far?! :smug:

Jessica, did you have a nice time going out for dinner last night? Hope you and Mike are enjoying your time together.
Ang, your activity level during weekends is truly impressive: biking, farmwork, running, etc. I can’t believe you’re not losing weight!

Heh. I would love to trade places and jobs for a little while, Ang. It would be great to try out somebody else’s job for a while. But I’m sure we both would want to get back to our own eventually…? ;)

It’s very motivating to share thoughts and feelings with you guys, because you’re always giving such nice feedback. It’s much appreciated! :D
Ang, you’re not just a little smaller – you’re 55lbs smaller! – so yes, I think we both need to work on our perception a bit. ;) Maybe you should look for some honest feedback, do you know anybody you trust to give you that? I've found that sometimes it's very helpful to have somebody else tell you how they see you.
Also: hope it didn’t rain on your Sunday!

I don’t have much to report actually. It’s Sunday, the weather is fairly nice, I’m going out with some friends – we’re not sure whether we’ll end up drinking coffee or hiking (or both!?). Yesterday I went to the marked and got blueberries and made the world’s best smoothie: blueberries, plain yogurt and protein powder! Tasty!
I have been eating 11.500 calories this week – 1000 more than the weeks I lost weight. If all goes well I’m aiming for 12.500 next week. I’ve found that I don’t eat the same amount of calories on weekdays, so basically I count up by Friday night – see how many calories I have left for the week and then split those on Saturday and Sunday. Normally I end up eating less those days than the weekdays, which is a bit different from what everybody else is doing. Are you guys eating more during the weekend or during the week?

Have nice Sundays everybody!

Quick check-in.

I did go for a run this morning (52 minutes). I didn't go with my group though because it was early and I would have been running by myself so I opted for more sleep and running near my house. I then mowed my back yard, went to the farm and did not much, went for a 3 hour bike ride (leisurely with some scenic stops), and then feverishly picked veggies for 1 1/2 hours. Pasta for dinner because I was so rushed and it was late - didn't get to go grocery shopping so NO FOOD for tomorrow - yikes! Even with all the activity I don't think I lost anything. Oh well. I had fun and there is something in that by itself.

I hope everyone had a great weekend. This week will be so hectic for me. Subjects crammed in at work and I have started taking some initiative at the farm to pick and sell (bf is not doing enough) but I don't really have time. Why does everything happen at once.

More later - have to get up early to get ready for my week. Sweet dreams!

Hi everybody – hope you’re having good Mondays.
Ang, great going on the exercise this weekend! Running, farmwork and biking – and having fun too! :D

I suppose we’re all having busy days this week. Where is Renee, btw? Does anybody know?

I’ve lost another pound, and: 1) I’m down to the weight I want to maintain, 2) I’ve lost 60lbs, *and* 3) my BMI just crossed over to the “normal weight” category – it’s 24,9! Heh. And this week I’m going to aim for more than 1700 calories a day. Yey! :D
I’m having some problems organizing my days – being at school the whole day, and then going to the gym after. I’m tired, the place is full of people, I’m crabby – it’s not the making of a great hour at the gym.
I’m going to look into whether I can go before school in the morning – they open at 7, so I’ll try that. My lectures don’t start until 9 most mornings, so that should work.
I was going to do lower body today, but the place was so overcrowded that I only got to the cardio machines – so I did 15 minutes on a bike, and then 15 minutes on an elliptical trainer. This will have to count as my Tuesday-morning-jog, and then I’ll get up early tomorrow morning, go to the gym at 7, do my Monday-lower-body-weightlift, and see if that works better for me.
I just have to try out the different possibilities – and see what works. And my weeks differ too, so something that works this week, probably won’t work next week.

Ah well. I’m off to organize and prepare a meeting we’re doing tomorrow about the results from my summer research – I’m going to present the results and have to make some nice power point slides.

Hope you’re all doing well!

Where are Jessica and Renee? Maybe they're off together having fun. :lol:

mette - congratulations on losing that last pound. I'm not surprised given that you only increased your calories by 1000. How did you feel at that level? Are there any particular ways that you increase your calories? More foods or just more of the same foods or different foods altogether?

60 pounds is amazing! :strong: :jig: :bravo: :cp: :cb: :dance: :balloons:

Even more impressive is your BMI. I know it's not the best indicator or fitness but it can be better than weight alone. Have you ever done your body fat?

I think going to the gym in themorning would be great for you given the way you describe the events later in the day. You were so excited about lifting before and I would hate to see that enthusiasm wane because of your schedule. Luckily your classes don't start too early. Since you run in the mornings I am going to guess that getting up to go to the gym shouldn't be too hard for you. Let us know how that works out for you. I love flexibility in my schedule but can also sympathize that an unstable schedule can be difficult. I'm confident you will work out something good for you.

Good luck with you presentation. Don't you love making PPT slides? :lol: I ahve to write a presentation soon for a conference later in September. Can't forget or I'll be writing the day before I leave. :o

Today was an ok day for me. To take some stress off I decided to not worry this week about editing my article. My morning subject did not show up (some people are so inconsiderate) so I was able to get a lot of 'administrative' stuff done today. I feel a lot less stressed since I don't have to worry about all those 'little' things that I had to do. Did I mention that I was going on a business trip Wednesday until Friday? I need to find time to clean up my house a little so it is not a disaster when I come home (need to take care of cats and clean all dishes and stuff). After work I picked tomatoes for over 1 1/2 hours. I am so into it now that I was sort of shown what to do - it isn't as easy as it may sound. Tomorrow I go to finish picking and selling the stuff wholesale to a farm stand thing down the street. We have so much that I just need to unload some of it before it goes bad. I am excited about taking the morning off to do this and wish I could quit work and just farm full time. Not going to happen anytime soon unfortunately. I am seriously looking into a new career though as I realize that sitting at a desk (even if some of the time is in a lab) and being 'confined' is not for me. I need to be outside, working with my brain AND hands and doing something that really makes a difference. A friend suggested an environmental engineer or something in agriculture. It would have to be something that I could do without going back to school since I just got out after so many years - unfortunately I need the money from a job. We'll see what happens. It's kind of nice to know that there may be options. I just need to feel free and I don't in the environment I am in so I get unhappy.

Off to bed - hope to hear from everyone soon. mette - good luck at the gym in the morning.

Hey guys! I know I know, been a long time. I meant to write before I took off to let you all know I took off. But, my friends have gone home now and back to the grind. I am really tired today so heading to bed, but I got some new discoveries to tell you all about tomorrow!

Just a quick check in, I started Day 1 of south beach today. While my friends were still here, and while eating out. I made the best choices I could and I think I did it! Tomorrow, I have actual SB recipes, so I am excited. Now then, if this headache would scram. ;)

Catch up tomorrow!

Hi everyone,

Wow, I haven't posted in a couple of days almost, huh... Haven't been busy, just been pretty lazy and my eating has gone to sh**, and no exercise, of course. Haven't weighed myself in close to two weeks... this month has just reeked havoc with my schedule and I feel out of sorts in pretty much all areas of my life. Hm. I'm not upset about it, just kind of apathetic, going about my business and not making much of an effort at anything except work. Just a slump, I guess.

Mike and I had a nice weekend together. Dinner Saturday was great; we hardly ever go out anymore so it's always a treat. Watched a couple of rented movies, just relaxed and again, were lazy. He had to leave at 2:30 this morning and just got home a little before 9 p.m. Work's busy, as always, and tonight when I got home I just vegged out in front of my pc playing card games. Hm, again... Anyone have any ideas on jumpstarting myself back into my routine? Maybe I'm just burned out. Was hoping my week off would cure that, but I guess not.

Mette: I hope you figure out a workout schedule that works for you. Sixty pounds really is AWSOME and you should be so proud. I know you'll make it the 9 months of mainaining and I'm interested to hear if your brain catches up with your body by then.

Ang: You really should find something new to do if you're unhappy in your current work environment. It was funny because as I was reading I was thinking "environmental science" and then you said it. Would that require more schooling? Can you find something related to what you currently do, only observing people in outside enviroments like construction sites and such? I wish we could all just persue our dreams and not have to worry about a paycheck. What a different world it would be, huh?

Renee: Congrats on starting the SBD today! Sounds like you did really well. What's your news?

Alright guys, time to get ready for bed. Talk with you all tomorrow! Nite!!

Well, as I mentioned last night, I found out some things while off work and away from the stress and boredom of work. I had no cravings. In fact, I had only mild reminders of hunger. I ate smaller portions, got filled up faster and didn't crave junk food at all! I guess that means that nearly all of my eating stems from stress or boredom related issues. Good news to have discovered that, bad news to have to find ways around it. I always knew that I ate when bored, or upset. I never realized though, how so many signals I thought were genuine, were still coming from those triggers.

So far though, I feel refreshed. I've stuck to the diet so far again today and have my momentum going. I had the egg muffin things for breakfast, and am about to eat my 30 pistachios hah. Work is not bugging me out and I feel over all 'pretty good'. I guess the time off really did wonders. I'm trying to keep a more positive attitude on things - but am still going to look into finding a new job/career.

Gonna try and catch up on all the posts I've missed after work calms down a bit more. I do hate getting back into the swing of things! Anyway. I guess if you guys have any suggestions on ways that I can teach myself better stress management or what not, that'd be helpful. I should search online some. :)

Ang – I just wanted to be careful when I added calories, you know? Everybody is saying that you should add calories very slowly – so I thought I should do that. I have basically just eaten more of the same, but I want to add some more sweets. Maybe I should make some cookies that are relatively healthy – with little sugar and fat?

I have never done my body fat, so I have no idea. Have you measured yours?

I went to the gym this morning. Up at 6.25, got dressed (gym clothes), had a smoothie (plain yogurt, blueberries and protein powder), walked to the gym (15 minutes), was there at 7 and had a short warm up (I was already warm): 10 minutes on the bike. I did lower body on the weights, and was home again by 8.
And I added weights today – I lifted 45lbs on the squats (just the bar) the last 4 weeks, and added 10lbs today. I thought about – and wanted to - add more, but I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to lift the bar off the rack and/or from my shoulders and back on the rack. I’m doing OK with the bar on my shoulders, because my shoulders and legs are strong – my arms…. not so much… ;) – so I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to get it off my shoulders and lift it back up on the rack without dropping it to the floor. (That would have been embarrassing, you see that – right?)
I suppose that’s another kind of fear I have to get over, huh? :D

My presentation today was very short; I just made some PP slides of our main findings and talked about them. It wasn’t a conference presentation like you’re doing – what are you going to talk about?

Good to hear you didn’t have a stressful day at work yesterday, and good luck on your trip tomorrow.
Your career ideas are really great! It’s so nice to start looking at things from another perspective: knowing more about what you *don’t* want to do is always a good thing: it makes for a better starting point. And like you say: there are always options!

Renee – good to have you back! And congratulations on getting started on the diet! I’m sending good vibes! :goodvibes
And the fact that you don’t have any cravings for food when you’re not working? Yeah, it pretty much says it all, doesn’t it?

Jessica – not being upset about your eating is probably a good thing, don’t you think? :lol:
Good to hear you and Mike had a nice weekend. He’s really working a lot, isn’t he?
How to get jumpstarted into your routine? Isn’t this where we all go back and look at the reasons why we started this in the first place? Reading the archives of Skinnydaily? Reading other stuff that inspired you when you got started? Does anybody else have any good ideas?
If you’re burned out Jessica, the best thing is probably to get some rest, sleep and try to get your energy back.

OK. I have some more work to do. I’m going to the gym again tomorrow morning, upper body, and I’m planning to add weights there too. Have a nice evening everybody!

Jessica and Renee - good to have you back.

Sorry about your slump Jessica. Unfortunately we all get into moods sometimes. I guess it is just a part of life. I am glad that you are not upset about how things are progressing. A good perspective is key to rebounding when you are ready. Nice to hear that you had a good weekend. It must have been nice to spend some time with Mike. Now that you are in the week again, could you pick one thing about your 'old' routine that you could focus on putting back into your schedule? Decide and then make a promise to yourself to do it no matter what. Maybe if you start getting back into the habit with one or two things the rest will just come back.

I'm going to try and find someone to help me find a new career. My therapist says that there are specialist for changing careers and they should be able to help me find something I like that would not require going back to school or at least not getting a whole new degree. Anyone have any ideas on where to find such a specialist?

Renee - congratulations on your success with the SB diet so far. Does the book give a lot of suggestions for things to eat? I'm VERY curious to hear about your progress and thoughts on this diet to see if I might want to look into it more and give it a try (once the veggies die at the farm of course). :D Keep up your momentum and continue the good work.

I think it's great Renee that you have identified some triggers for eating. Knowing the problem is half the battle. I think we could all use some stress management tips. Have you ever tried relaxation techniques (breathing or muscle relaxing exercises)? Short walks could be good too.

I think if we all had stress free lives we would be perfectly healthy. :lol:

mette - I think you are very smart to add the calories slowly. More of the same seems like a good idea so you are still eating healthy. Some sweets now and then are a plus. Do they actually 'make' cookies that are relatively healthy? :lol:

I have measured my body fat but not recently. It's not a pretty picture. If you don't want to buy a scale that does it, you may be able to find a place at school that will do it free or very cheap. Through our town community center we used to have someone come in once a quarter and charge $3 to do caliper testing for body fat. The best thing is to measure it the same way every so often and use it as a relative measure. When you have muscles it can be a lot more accurate or representative than weight. Women are supposed to have <25% bf. It's not hard to be in the 30s or even 40s though.

mette - your activity today sounds wonderful. How did you feel about getting up this morning to workout? The walk to the gym sounds like a great added bonus. You get the activity and a warm up/cool down all in one, actually saving you time. Congratulations on adding weight. I don't blame you for not adding more weight to the squat. I think it's important to hold good form and not injure yourself trying to move the weights around. The embarrassment factor you'll have to work on, but injuries are not something to take lightly. You do what you feel comfortable doing. Did you feel like you were working hard with the 10 pounds added? If not, there's always the next workout for adding a little more weight. Slow is good.

My presentation is going to be on a study about perceptions of slip distance when walking across a floor that is slippery. Basically we measured how far people actually slipped and related to the person's rating of slipperiness. FYI - people are not a good judge of how much they slip. One of these days I'll start my slides. I'm glad your presentation went well though mette.

I need to write during the day more - I find myself being less focused and rambling at night. That's my cue to go off to sleep. I'll do my best to check in as much as I can while I am away. I will be back home on Friday anyway. I'm not sure if I am looking forward to this trip or not. I know I am looking forward to not having to go into the office for 3 days. :D

Good luck tomorrow to everybody.

Ang, hope you’ll have a nice trip! Maybe it will be fun? Or isn’t it that kind of trip?

A career consultant sounds like a very good idea, Ang. I have no idea where to find one, but I know we have some at the career center at the university. There are probably a lot of consultants out there though.

As for the “almost healthy cookies” – maybe I should look for some recipes for cookies with less sugar, fat, nuts – cookies where you use honey and some whole grains or oatmeal, or something. I’ll look around. I know that I do want to eat something sweet on most days, and it doesn’t have to be refined sugar products – I’m fine with dark sugar free chocolate and no sugar on my oatmeal now – so I would probably be fine with cookies with little sugar too.

I’m back to the protein problem though: as I eat more calories, I’m having problems adding the proteins. At 1785 calories a day (which is what I eat this week), I should eat 134 grams of protein every day. That’s really a lot of protein!! I can totally understand why people are eating protein powder: without a smoothie or two a day (each about 20grams of protein, depending on whether I put yogurt into it) it would be difficult for me to get over 100 a day. The hassles of a non-meat-eater, huh?! ;)

And the body fat thing – it would be interesting to do if I came across an easy and cheap way to do it, but probably not a priority. It doesn’t sound as you had much use of it, Ang?

The morning work-out was wonderful! I did it again today, I did my usual “Wednesday upper body” today, except at 7 in the morning. And I added weights to all the exercises and lifted to failure! I have no problems lifting in the morning as long as I get to bed early enough and get enough sleep. I like the routine of starting my day with exercise, where I don’t have to worry about it later in the day.
And sometimes I think about the things I struggled with in April and May when I had started losing weight, but couldn’t get into an exercising routine. If you had told me then, that by September I would get up at 6:30 every morning of the week and lift weights 3 mornings and jog 2 mornings – I wouldn’t have believed you! No way! :D
And I do agree with you Ang: injuries are not to be taken lightly. I am very careful, and I always keep good form!

So do people think they slip more or less than they actually slip? Or does that wary from person to person – where some people have a exaggeration-bias and some a underestimation-bias?

Again Ang: hope you enjoy your trip and your 3 days out of the office!

And where are Jessica and Renee? Are you leaving me here to talk to myself for 3 days? :lol:

Woo woo! Oh man, this is exciting! Well I have just gotten through day 3 on the South Beach Diet - even after softball, I was good and had noooo beer, not nunchers, nothing. I stuck to it. Breakfast was the egg thingies. 15 almonds for a snack at 10ish. Lunch was a salad with chicken and I used blue cheese dressing, which I think is illegal, but it had the fewest sugars and carbs, and I thought that seemed a good idea. (That's the whole plan the first phase right? No carb/sugars?) Anyway. String Cheese for snack. Fish and veggies, with sliced tomatoes for dinner. I am just about totally used to diet soda now. (27 years now I have said that day would never come) I have not had a single conniption (sp?) fit at work since doing this. I haven't been hungry, or craving sweets like I usually do. Like, if I were to eat fast food, I always always want to follow it up with a sweet. Milkshake or candy or something. Hasn't been that way. Anyway.

Just for kicks I decided to sneak a peek at the scale tonight. Tonight! When you're not supposed to weigh yourself, aaaand I am down 2 lbs!! :goodscale: What's better, is that it dips me to 181, the lowest weight I have seen on the scale in like.. probably like 6 months. I am ecstatic!

So far, I haven't had too much problem finding stuff to eat on the diet. But that is because dear old sis is cooking it up. Ask me again in another like 4 days :p

That career analyst thing sounds like a good idea! Work might be getting even more crazy soon because my friend is engaged and living with her fiance, and going to be married... soon? And well anyway, the fiance has a five year old son, whose mother just up and said 'custody is yours from now on during the week' - so the coworker needs to adjust her work hours to accomodate the kid after school and we are not sure they are going to. The second they let her go or fire her, if they do, I am going to walk in and ask for a raise or a bonus or something. Or maybe, I should not ask and just use that as collateral for getting those extra two vacation days.

Anyway, feeling pretty good right now. It's amazing, I feel so less bloated lately. I know I have a long way to go, but the way I feel right now, makes me not feel so totally fat. :) Anyway, hopefully all this extra excitement and motivation will ooze out and help you ladies too! I know you guys pulled me through the last few weeks!!

Hi Renee – is it just the two of us left? Where did Jessica go – did she take a vacation from us?

Congratulations on following your plan and feeling great! It sounds really good that you’re not feeling hungry or craving sweets. And the scale going down too!!! :D
And we can never get too much excitement and motivation around here, so just keep on spreading the good news!

I’m having a good Thursday so far – nothing much to report. Had a nice jog in the morning, the eating is going well so far. I have a lot of schoolwork and writing to do, but just wanted to pop my head in and say hello!

And Jessica, you should report in too! :wave:
Have a nice day everybody! :smug:

Hi Ladies.

I snuck into the local library to check in quickly. My meeting with the lab director went well and ended early so I thought I would take advantage of that. This trip was for business so not totally fun, but since it happens to be in my hometown I am seeing family and friends which is pretty good. Unfortunately I fall into the old routine of eating whatever I want when I am away. I know I shouldn't but I don't like to travel and somehow this makes me feel a little better. I'll watch what I can and just get back on the wagon tomorrow when I get home. Also, I worked on the farm for 5 hours yesterday and felt like I had really done something - didn't have the strength or time to run after that before I left. Today I didn't have the energy or time to run before my meeting. I am going to give it a try tomorrow so I can still get in 3 days of running this week by Sunday. I have cramps too and that doesn't help anything.

Renee - I am so glad that you are feeling so much better and that the SB diet is working for you. I hear you about having someone else do the cooking though. I heard that cravings were supposed to diminish on the diet but don't think I ever really believed them. You seem to be a testament that it does work. Maybe after Labor Day I'll look into trying it.

mette - great job with your exercise as always. If you find some healthy cookies let me know. Like you I can't give up sweets but I realize sweet things come in lots of packages and I should look around for healthier choices. The protein is really a problem. Are you not eating any protein bars even with the extra calories? The one I had contained 25 grams of protein. I guess you just do the best you can. I'll keep my eye out for high protein things. How are nuts? Jave you looked at tofu?

I think body fat testing is good but at this stage not better than anything else. If you have a weigh of measuring your progress that works for you then it is just as good. The scale just doesn't always work for everyone. With your lifting it might be good for you mette if you can find a cheap way. You could go to a store (like Sharper Image or Brookstone) and use their demo scale (hold in hands) to find out bf% and then go back in 3 months. It's cheap! :)

I'll check in again tomorrow. Take care and where is Jessica?

Ang, how nice that you check in on us! Great to hear that your meeting went well too.

After 5 hours of farm work, there really is no wonder that you didn’t exercise more. Rest is important too you know! Really! There’s no point in exhausting yourself! :no:

I’ve had some help from the LWL forum on my squats, and they work much better now. It’s all about how I’m *not supposed* to lift the bar with my arms. No wonder I was worried about not being able to lift the weight.
I got a bit worried that maybe there are other things I do wrong too – so I’m going to drag along an instructor, make him watch me do the exercises and see if I do them correctly!

I stopped eating the protein bars Ang, I didn’t really find any that tasted good. The protein powder is working OK – but I can’t use it with everything. I do smoothies with protein every day (2 smoothies the days I lift weights since I drink one before I go to the gym in the morning), and I put protein powder in some of the things I eat (oatmeal/whole grain muffins, oatmeal pancake). Wouldn’t it be great if we could put it in cookies, though? We could eat sweet and tasty cookies and get proteins too!!! :D
I’ll look around for some recipes.

I have looked at tofu, but I’m still not sure what to do with it. I know you suggested marinading it in soy sauce and then stir fry it with vegetables; I think I’ll try that this weekend. Renee – do you have any suggestions for dinners or sweets from SBD – that doesn’t include meat?

And yes – where is Jessica? I’m getting a little bit worried. Hope she’s just off enjoying life.

I am back from my trip. Unfortunately it ended on a bad note. My mother is not doing well (cancer if I didn't already mention it) and I just got really down eating badly, not exercising, not being home, etc. I also got very sad seeing all my family and friends with their houses, husbands and seemingly good lives. I'm just so tired of being alone and so unhappy and I guess I need the rest of today to just have a pity party and cry a lot. I just wish I was important to somebody around here. There is no one to call to talk to and I don't want to get dressed and go out just to talk to strangers. I even lost the will to go for the bike ride that I was looking forward to yesterday. My heart is just not in it. Hopefully tomorrow will be better and I will get back on the exercise and eating wagon. I'm a tad disgusted with myself though that I am wasted this partial day off and a lot of sunshine. I should be out having a good time running or biking or something. I just can't. :(

mette - I'm glad you're getting assistance with your lifting. Getting an instructor to watch you sounds like a really good idea. Getting help online is good but to have someone see what you are doing is really best. So are you not afraid of dropping the bar now?

I am not eating the protein bars regularly either. I also haven't gone back to the store yet to get protein powder. I have noticed that even though my flax seed meal doesn't have a taste, it does affect the texture of the food. It sounds like the smoothies are working for you though. btw - you can bbq tofu or do almost anything to it that you would do chicken, including putting it in soup.

Please send some good vibes my way. Anyone have plans for tonight or this weekend? No work Monday for me. Yeah!

Well the weekend is just about here and I am going to cheat big time on the diet tonight. I feel sorta bad about it, but at the same time, I didn't want to make this thing like an occult religion. My friend is in on leave from his station in Korea, and we are all going down town tonight for a good time. I maintained the diet all day though - my old philosophy would have been to make this a total 'free day' - and so I am not going to kill myself over a few beers. Maybe I will even get the Low Carb beers to help make it not so bad. :)

The rest of the weekend I am taking it easy. Hoping that spending a ton of time at home will not be hard on my dieting trend. I printed up some recipes from here and will make some 'sweet' snacks when I get home.

Ang - Really sorry to hear how things are going for you. Cancer runs heavily in my family, and is one of the reasons I know that my days of eating whatever needs to stop. Hope things turn up better soon on that. As for the other thing you mentioned. Man, words right out of my mouth. I am 27, but my sister is 44, brother 45 and other brother 39 - whenever I go to family things, or get invited out - I feel like it's the obligatory gotta invite 'the kid' along thing. I feel out of place. I too have no idea where to meet folks for relationships. It was supposed to be at the horse farm, but only retired woman volunteer there! Hahaha.

mette- I am looking for a 'shake' I can do in the mornings that is low carb and sugar free. I grabbed some recipes here, can you give me a warning on what the protein powder is like? Do you even notice it? I hope it's subtle hehe.

Well I likely wont be around to check in until much later this weekend, so you guys be safe and be good. Eat and exercise and have a great holiday!

Renee - I hope you had lots of fun with your friend. Although you may not be strict with your diet, it does sounds like you are making better choices overall with your eating. Do they really make beer that is low in carbs? :lol: I hope you enjoy your time at home this weekend.

mette - what are you doing this weekend?

Jessica - where are you?

Ang, I’m so sorry to hear you had a bad night. I’m sending lots of good vibes your way!!! :goodvibes:
Also sorry to hear about your mother’s cancer, I hope everything works out for her and your family. Is it hard to live away from her, when she is ill?

It’s really the worst thing about traveling: falling out of your routines of eating and exercising. Having food you’re not used to, trying to eat well with bad food options, and then have the emotional stress on top of that. I hope you get into your own rhythm now that you’re home again, Ang.

Also sorry that you feel alone and unhappy – hope everything is better today. :grouphug:
And that you maybe manage to focus on some of the nice things, like the nice weather, your garden, the farm, having time off work, etc. It would make your weekend so much better, and that would be very good...

As for being afraid of dropping the bar when doing squats: the thing is that I was taught to lift the bar incorrectly – you’re not supposed to use your arms to get the bar from the rack and onto your shoulders; you’re supposed to place the bar on the rack in the right height, and then just walk in under it and lift it off the rack with your shoulders. And then back off a couple of steps and start squatting!
No hands! Only shoulders! Once I got the exercise down correctly I added 10lbs when I did squats! :D

Ang; the thing you noticed about the texture of the food, when you added the flax seed – that was what protein powder was doing to my oatmeal, dip and some of the other things I tried to put it into. I didn’t taste it, but it *felt* wrong. But in the smoothies the protein disappears! Renee, when I make smoothies with plain yogurt (low fat) and fruit/berries (blueberries, bananas, kiwi, mango, pears, raspberries, oranges – whatever I have) and add protein powder – it’s not even noticeable that it’s there. I highly recommend it. Protein smoothies are great – especially if the fruit is half-frozen and you get that thick, melting-ice-cream texture: yummy!!!! :T

Renee, hope you had a nice time out with your friends! And that you enjoyed yourself and the beers. I found that I’m OK with the planned cheats, when I know I will be eating more or eating something that’s not on my normal eating plan. When I plan for it, it feels like a part of the program, and I don’t feel guilty about it. It’s the impulsive eating, when I suddenly and out of the blue get cravings for something (chocolate, cookies, etc) I see and smell right there, and then buy it and eat it – without thinking. That’s the sort of eating off plan that sends me into binges, guilt-trips, self-hate, and miserable feelings all around.
The way you did it today, Renee, when you planned for it – is much healthier, I think. Congratulations on that!

I’ve had a good week as far as weightlifting went: I’m still a bit sore – both in my arms and legs, and it really feels great. Friday morning when I woke up I didn’t really want to get up and go to the gym; I was feeling a little down and tired. But I got up, got dressed, went to the gym, got on the bike for my 10 minutes warm up – and sat there thinking that I would rather have stayed in bed.
It got much better once I got into the weight room and started doing squats (it also helped that I did them correctly, and therefore added weights!), and the other exercises. And when I left the gym I felt high because of the exercising. The strange thing was that I was feeling both the ‘down’ and the ‘high’ at the same time. I could still feel the slow low from earlier, at the same time as I felt the new high from the exercise. Very strange. I suppose it means that emotions really are fleeting and not the best foundation to build decisions on.
It’s just that sometimes I worry that I won’t be able to separate the ‘resistance-against-new-habits-down’ from ‘I’m-really-exhausted-and-need-to-sleep-in-this-morning-down’. I’m not really good at reading my emotions, so they’re scary to build decisions on for me. It seems I always change my mind later when I do that, because the emotions change all the time.

Ah well. Plans for the weekend: not many. Mostly reading and staying in. Some errands, maybe meeting up with some people for coffee, maybe a hike. We’ll see. I want to do some yoga both today and tomorrow: it’s so good to stretch out properly.

Hope all of you have good weekends!

Hi everyone,

Sorry I have been MIA this week. I can't say I've been really busy, it's just the little things that have taken up my time or distracted me from my normal routine. That's been happening alot lately. I've been reading everyone's posts, though, so at least you know I've been here in spirit. Everytime I started to write something, I either haven't had much to say or I've gotten torn away to do something else. I've missed talking with everyone though and will post this even if I don't end up saying much!

Work has been very demanding this week, with its usual ups and downs. My meeting Thursday night went very late and the worst part about it was I looked at the agenda and figured we'd be out by 8:30 pm. Mike had to leave for work at 9:30 p.m. and was going to be out to sea for at least a day, maybe even until Sunday we thought. We ended up not getting out until almost 11, so I didn't get to see him before he left, plus we had a couple of trouble makers at the meeting making my job difficult. Anyway, that wasn't very pleasant, but luckily Friday was pretty slow so I got a lot done. Mike also got in last night, so we'll have the weekend together after all.

Mike and I are going out of town next weekend on our mini-vacation. I'm very much looking forward to it. The hotel where we are staying is also a spa, so I can get a facial or a massage, they have yoga classes, as well as public and private mineral hot springs (we even have our own on our patio). He's made dinner reservations at their restaurant which is supposed to have really good food. It sounds like a wonderful place to relax and I can't wait.

In weightloss news, even though I've been so bad with my food and not exercising, I've maintained at 181 for about three weeks now. I was afraid to weigh myself because of all the crap I've been eating, so I was really pleasantly surprised. I think even though I've been eating a lot of fast food and take-out, I'm still consuming about the same amount of calories. I'm not eating much during the day and have really only been having lunch and dinner. I know it's not good, it's not what I want to do, but it is what it is.

Ang, are things better today? I was so sad to read your post when you felt so down and alone. I know it feels terrible to be in that place, but go easy on yourself and you will make it out and feel happy again.

Mette, as always, good job with the exercising! That's the problem with trainers sometimes, that they know even less than we do (in reference to the squat form). I think a lot of gym "trainers" are people who don't have much experience and who just get "certified" by the gym and give people bad advice. I'm glad you were able to figure it out now before it became a bad habit. You're doing awsome.

Renee, I'm so happy for you that you're doing so well on the SBD! It is a real bonus that your sis is doing it with you and doesn't mind doing the cooking. Enjoy your splurge this weekend with your friends and get back on track next week.

I need to reread some of the things that inspired me in the beginning, just like Mette said. Maybe that will help me get back on track. I'll let you all know how that goes. Hope everyone has a great weekend!!! Are you all off work/school on Monday for the holiday?

Every time I think my life has driven me to madness it gets worse (or at least more confusing). That's all I have tonight, ladies. I'll try again tomorrow.

Glad you're back Jessica.

Jessica, so glad you’re back with us! :cheer:
Ang, sorry that you’re confused – no matter what happened, I hope you’re feeling better! :grouphug:

Jessica – it’s good to hear that you’ve been here (in spirit), and you know - just posting to say you won’t post but that you're OK is fine! (I was getting a bit worried – it's only a couple of weeks since your hospital admittance, you know… Very glad that you're fine! :smug: )
Also glad to hear you’ve got Mike home for the weekend, and your plans for next weekend sounds absolutely wonderful.
My eldest niece will visit me next weekend, so I’ll probably be missing in action here at 3FC too.

Congratulations on maintaining your weight - doesn’t it make you feel safer when you see that even when you’re off your eating plan – you don’t gain? And of course: not eating breakfast and lunch, and only eating fast food – yeah, you’ll have to do something about that… ;) Looking into reading that inspires you is probably smart – I know you’ve talked about skinnydaily before, that’s why I suggested that. Maybe some sites for weightlifting too? Did you read Krista’s August 2004 rant about being stressed out? Sometimes we just need to relax, you know! :p

I have increased my calories by 1.000 again this week – I will end up having eaten 12.500 calories this week, or an average of 1.785 a day. It’s starting to look (and feel) like something I could live with.
For next week I’m going for 13.500 a week or 1.930 a day – and I’ll just keep on adding calories until I start gaining – and then stop. I basically just eat more of the same sorts of food I did when I ate 1.500 calories, but with some sweets thrown in. My days vary quite a bit – this week I actually had two days where I ate over 2.000 calories a day – it’s the first time since April. :D

The weekend so far has been rather uneventful, I’ve been watching downloaded episodes of Arrested Development and also Shrek2 a couple of times! (I thought of you when Puss-in-boots appeared, Jessica!!! :lol: ) I wanted something funny!

Hope you’re having a great weekend, both of you.

Hey guys, just a quick check in. I splurged hard core with the beers the night out with my friends, but it hasn't halted my success on SB. :) I've been getting addicted to the scale lately and always check in the morning. I know bad of me. But anyway, I'm down to 178! WoW WOW WWOOOWW! It feels so good. And the night we were out, one of the girls who was there, who I've met only twice said 'Hey Renee, have you lost some weight?' I about keeled over with joy.

We just had our crab royale lunch. Crab, veggies and lowfat mayo mixed together, then served in a blossomed tomato on a bed of lettuce. I prefer firm tomatoes and this one was soft - Blech. But I pushed through it. We are about to head out and get some more diet soda and some ingredients for the SBD Phase I peanut butter cup desserts. Mmm.

As for low carb beer. Yup. Michelob Ultra has less calores and carbs than a regular soda! Bit I had Miller Lite since it was cheaper. ;) Feeling good about things lately. Hopefully this keeps up. This week I am going to be adding the gym back into the routine. I miss feeling that 'good sore'.

A quick check in for me too.
Renee – congratulations on losing weight and doing great on your diet! :D
Ang and Jessica – hope you're off having an excellent Labor Day!

No rest for me today, I have a thousand things to do – most of them school-related. And reading neurobiology: it really can't be done by skimming through the pages.... :lol:
I had my weekly weigh-in today, and my weight keeps perfectly still! I’m very pleased with that.

Have a nice Monday everybody!

Hi Ladies - I hope everyone enjoyed the holiday if you got it off.

I was super busy this weekend and was on an emotional and mental rollercoaster. It happens sometimes - sometimes it is situational and sometimes my brain chemistry shoots me for a loop. I think this past weekend was a little bit of both.

Seeing my mother sick is difficult and talking about her death, wills, and burial plots is not fun either. There is nothing I can do for her though except visit regularly (which I do). I'm less than 2 hours away not, as opposed to 10 hours last year. I don't really have fun visiting though so I don't want to be there for very long. It's a love/hate thing but I visit because it is good for her and I don't want to regret not seeing her enough when she dies.

I am starting to get back into my routine (whatever that is :D ) a little. I ran my 3.8 mile loop Saturday and today and then went biking yesterday on a bike path with a friend. Of course throw in some gardening and it wasn't a bad weekend. I weighed in at 185.4 today. I have made Mondays my official weigh in day (even though I weigh myself almost everyday).

I am still very lonely but just as you said mette - on Saturday I was good enough to be able to get one foot out the door (couldn't do that on Friday) and force myself to do something. After I got moving I started to feel a little better and the mood got better as the weekend went on - cycle working off each other. The main way I get through the loneliness is to just stay super busy and that is what I did. I just keep hoping that I'll meet more and more people and life will get better.

mette - I'm glad you got the right instruction for the squats. Now you can go back to enjoying them. :)

mette - I'm having a hard time remembering to get the flax meal in my diet. Part of the problem is that I don't make enough stuff to add it to. I'll keep working on it though and see if I need the protein powder. I figure a little meal is better than nothing. I am also thinking of getting some cell food to add to my water. It is supposed to help raise you ph. Has anyone heard of alkalizing your body to ward off disease and stuff?

Reading emotions is very difficult. In general I don't think it is good to think with our heart and emotions but we do it all the time. If you figure out a way to put the emotions to the side please share. My brain and heart battle all the time. For certain topics my brain never wins. Hopefully with time you will get more familiar with your feelings about your body, your exercise, etc. All you can do is your best.

Jessica - I hope you enjoyed your weekend with Mike. I am happy for you that you get to go away together next weekend. Of course you'll have to give us all the details. :D

Isn't nice Jessica to not gain weight even when you haven't been 'good'? I think it is a testament to how much you have changed your lifestyle. Even when you don't eat well now, you probably eat so much better than you used to. Congratulations on maintaining at 181. I need to catch up to you!

I have not been in the office since Tuesday. I really enjoyed my 'vacation' even though I was working last week on my trip. I never realized how wonderful it could be to just get away from work for a little while. I am not looking forward to work tomorrow but I am a little more rejuvenated and ready to go back I guess. The holiday was just what I needed. Hopefully going back to work won't be too stressful for any of us.

btw - although not all of it, a lot of the confusion is around my family and my bf. Although by no means good, bf and I have chatted a little more. At least I am telling him how I feel more and that is good for me. I am trying to use this as a growth experience if nothing else. Today he talked to me about growing seedlings in my house to save money for next year's crop. The other day we talked about 30 minutes (a miracle for us these days) about all sorts of things, including ideas for next year. At least right now he seems to want me in his life and talking about next year is a good sign - right?

mette - how do you feel mentally about adding the calories? It seems like the exercise and lifting is going to allow you to eat a nice amount of food during this time. Good for you. I am getting inspiration from you. Congratulations on maintaining your weight. I hope all went well with your school work. I agree that certain subjects cannot be skimmed and I am guessing neurobiology is definitely one of them. :lol:

Congratulations Renee! Weight loss on the scale and seeing results is great. Keep up the good work. The SN diet seems to be working well for you. Has it helped doing it with someone? Are they having success too? I'm glad you enjoyed your night out though. It sounds like you really did a good job with it and had fun but didn't over do it.

Two subjects a day for the next two weeks for me. Yikes. I'll do my best to chck in though at home. Take care all.

Hi everybody.

Ang – I’m so sorry about the situation with your mother! I can really understand that it is very difficult for you and your whole family to deal with her death. But at least you’re visiting often, and when you’re not living so far away – you don’t have to stay so long. No wonder you were on an emotional rollercoaster this weekend, and I hope you feel better.
Great going on getting back into your routine, and congratulations on losing weight! :D

I know nothing about ph and alkalizing your body, I’m sorry – maybe Jessica or Renee does?

Yes, emotions are always the tricky part for me too. I never see them coming, especially the ‘heavy’ and ‘dark’ ones – they sometimes take me by surprise. As if emotions are like the weather: suddenly dark clouds just fill up the sky – something I have no control over. But according to all theories about cognitive therapy emotions are reactions: something happened to activate them. Quite possibly some automatic thoughts or images, and – again theoretically – one should work on identifying the automatic thoughts that lead to negative emotions, and create alternative thoughts to think.
I know it sounds rather naïve, but the worst thing is that when I’ve actually tried it – it always works. When I see that what I’m feeling is the reaction on a thought I had, and that I could just as easily have thought another thought – and then, maybe, I wouldn’t feel down but neutral or up. I don’t know – I don’t think I formulate it very well. But it has something to do with seeing that the emotions I feel and struggle with, that I’m not actually doomed to feel them. They can be changed with some hard work and conscious effort.

Ang – not wanting to go back to work; yeah, you probably should look into other job options, shouldn’t you? ;)
Renee – how is your job these days?

And Ang – I think it’s very good that your bf wants you in his life, but really – why wouldn’t he? You’re nothing but nice, supportive and loving toward him. I’m glad you two are talking more, and that you’re being more assertive. That’s always a good thing.

Most days I’m enjoying adding calories and eating more, but I have had days where I feel like I’m cheating or overeating – which was unexpected. It’s a bout finding the balance, and on most days – especially the days I work out – I like eating more, and it makes me feel good about my body.

I have to prepare some patient work for tomorrow, so I’m off. Hope you all are having a good day. Ang, have a good day at work with your two subjects! :D

mette - thanks so much for your support. It is hard dealing with the family and my mother's illness but we have no choice and I will just keep doing the best I can and so will she. It does add some stress though to an already stressful life.

I sort of understand what you are saying about thoughts and emotions, but usually I can't think about the emotions until later (just get too wrapped up in the feelings) and by then I already feel bad or have done something 'bad' (e.g. eat too much). I do think more though, even if it is a little late, and you are right that sometimes it is possible to think myself into a better place or at least get there a little faster than in the past. I can't always catch myself though and don't always know the trigger. For instance, tonight I came home, ate dinner (nothing special but I put it on a plate which is a big step). AFter dinner I ate a chocolate bar I bought at the store tonight (that's a totally different story) and should have just stopped eating. Apparently something was bothering me though and I ate a few cookies (mother's fault because she gave them to me :) ). I didn't really want the cookies, they didn't taste that good, and after I ate them I regretted it in many ways. It didn't seem to make me feel any better, although I guess it distracted me from something - I just don't know what. Is there a way to figure out situations like that so it does not happen again? How do you come up with the alternative thoughts if you don't know what the original thoughts are?

How was school today mette? Work was ok. I got some of my 'paperwork' done after my trip - although not all - and ran a subject in the afternoon. The subjects keep running over though so I never get out of work on time. Grrr... Luckily the subject tomorrow is in the morning so I don't have to stay late. I actually may leave a little early to meet the electrician to finally get electricity in my garage and finish this project with him that started in April! Keep good thoughts that I get to editing my article a little more tomorrow afternoon and get a few more errands done. Who ever invented errands should be shot. They never end. :lol:

mette - I am glad that in general things seem to be working out for you and the eating. It doesn't surprise me that you would have some issues with eating more but it sounds like you have a handle on it. We're always here if you need us. :D What do you do when you feel like you are cheating or overeating? Can you talk to yourself and explain the situation? Feeling good about your body - what a wonderful thing.

Goodnight all. We seem to have hit a bit of a lull. I hope everyone is ok - Jessica and Renee.

Ang, it seems it’s just you and me left here right now – with both Jessica and Renee missing in action. I feel a bit bad about disappearing for the weekend, but my niece is coming tomorrow, so I probably won’t post while she’s here. I’ll try to check in, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to - it all depends on what we do/where we are. She’ll stay from Thursday to Sunday, so I suppose I’ll be back Sunday evening. I’m also really looking forward to seeing her! :D

Jessica – if you’re reading: hope you and Mike have a great weekend, and that you come back refreshed and feeling great!

Ang, of course your family is dealing with a lot of stress! When my brother died very suddenly – one of the worst things was the complete shock – and how the shock just lasted and lasted. I sometimes thought that it would have been easier to be prepared, but as you describe: it’s very stressful to deal with illness and death in the before-phase too. And we probably can’t prepare for death anyway. I don’t know. It’s like you say: you have no choice but to deal with it. My best wishes for you and your family, Ang! :grouphug:

Yeah. You really need to find the original thoughts first. Before you can look into finding alternative ones. And it is really hard, you’re completely right!
As for the thoughts that come before emotions: I don’t look for them often enough and I’m certainly not good enough in finding them. I do think I would feel better; feel more stable emotionally, if I worked harder at figuring out my emotions. But mostly I just follow the flow: going up and down with the emotions.
Journaling is always a good tool for me to register emotions and thoughts though. I always come back to that.

And I agree – it’s not strange that I have some issues with my eating, after all these years of dieting, and eating on and off diets. I have some problems letting go of the black/white, on/off diet-way of thinking. Trying to aim for balancing those – and including both – and think of this as just living life. I sometimes get a bit stressed about not having a goal with how I eat. Adding calories, eating more – it feels unsafe in a way. I don’t know how to explain it better. Just that black or white is the easy way: the middle is sometimes a muddle! :D
Sometimes I deal well with it: talk myself down from the edge, other times I just freak out for a while and then get back to normal when I’m done. It feels safer to see that it’s OK to freak out a bit and that I will get back to normal after.
Sometimes I overeat a little, and scare myself a little – but I sort of keep telling myself that it’s OK to do that now. I can eat 2000 calories a day now.

I have to go and clean this place up before my guest arrives, so I’m off. I’ll try to check in Ang, and I hope that you have a very good weekend if I don’t “see” you during.
And happy Wednesday to everybody!

mette - enjoy your time with your niece. How old is she? You have a great time and don't worry about me. Maybe Jessica or Renee will show up.

Tonight I went to our town's Newcomers meeting (really just a social/community group for women). Everyone except me is married and most have children. It's just the way my town is, which isn't bad but bad for me. I really didn't feel like I fit in there but at least it was a chance to get out for a few hours and socialize a little. Not the most fun thing in the world but not all bad. They had refreshments though and I ate when I shouldn't have. The stuff was good though. Things in my running club are 'falling apart' a little too so I think I need to take stock in my life and what is going to be a priority for me in the months to come. I don't want to sit alone every night and weekend during the winter. I am looking into volunteering at the food pantry in town. It was the first volunteering opportunity that came up so we'll see. I am also looking into getting a part-time job for the holidays. Really it would just be to keep busy, not that the extra money wouldn't be nice for presents.

Anyway, tired of the way things are and trying to figure out what to do to make them better. I have to have something to aim for, not just run from. Find a purpose in life. Do you all have a purpose? Just to live isn't enough for me.

Hi girls,

Sounds like everyone is having a good week!

Ang, I was so glad to read that you were able to get out and do some of the things you enjoy. Your situation with your mom sounds like it would be very stressful for everyone involved. I can't imagine how hard that is on you and your family. The fact that you have a "love/hate" thing with her probably makes it that more difficult. I'm glad you and the bf are fitting in "chats" here and there. It IS a good sign that he's talking about what you two have planned for next year. I wish he was around to spend more time with you, as it doesn't seem right that you have a bf and still have to feel lonely. I'm going through a bit of that again with Mike being gone so much, but I don't have anything to complain about.

mette: I hope you have a really nice weekend with your niece. What do you have planned? It is really good for all of us to read about your food "struggles" and how you talk with yourself when you're close to the edge... again, you are so self aware and observant! Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. And don't worry, I'll give you all the sordid details of my "weekend away" next week. It should be very relaxing and a lot of fun, too.

As for me, I saw my parents several times this past weekend. It was good to spend some time with them. I wish there was a way we could be closer right now, but since our fallout last year our relationship seems a bit stressed. Then there is the Mike issue- I can't seem to bring him up in conversation without getting an "icy" feeling from my mom. It's like I'm developing two separate lives now, one with my parents, and the other part of my life with Mike. I don't really like this feeling but don't really know what to do about it.

Other than that I've been working late almost every night, and Tuesday I even went in early, which I never do. Part of it is because we've been so busy, another part, I hate to say, is that my 1 year review is coming up and I'm hoping to get some leverage to get a raise, or at the least, a really good review. Kiss up, I know!! ha ha ha... I guess because Mike's been gone this week, I'm just not in a huge hurry to come home to an empty house. Well, the cats are here, but it's not the same. Speaking of which, I talked to the "cat lady" accross the hall from me and we've agreed to cat-sit for each other, so she'll be taking care of my babies while we're out of town. How great is that? Not only is she right next door, but I know she'll spend a lot of time with them and take great care of them. It's a relief knowing we can depend on each other for that and I don't have to worry about them.

I'm still eating pretty crappy... I haven't cooked in probably three weeks now. I don't know what happened. Well, we're planning a trip to Las Vegas in November for our birthdays (Mikes is on the 9th, mine on the 21st) so maybe having a tangible goal to lose X amount of weight by then will help me get motivated again. We'll see.

Again, so sorry I was missing again this week. I'm really glad to hear everyone's doing ok! Talk with you all soon.

Hey ladies. Well, work is busy so a quick sum up.
Work - It seems better lately. I don't know if it's because my time off really refueled me, or if my new eating causes less mood spikes from coming on and off the carbs through out the day.
Exercise - Went to the gym on Tuesday. Lifted a bit and did 20 minutes cardio. I was pleasantly surprised that I managed ten minutes on the precor and another ten on the recumbant. My abs are sore too. :)
Diet - I was doing great on South Beach, and still am following it, but my losing has tapered off and that worries me. You are supposed to lose 8-13 in the first two weeks. I am four days shy of that mark and stuck at having lost 6lbs. Not so much that I don't think that's good. But I am worried I'm doing something wrong and I want to do this perfectly.

I noticed that my heart rate seems a bit better already. Wonder if that could be from a simple one week of eating heart healthy?

Today is my rest day. Going to go home and play some video games. Tomorrow I will hit the gym again.

Breakfast today was yogurt, string cheese snack, chicken salad and tomato for lunch, then some pistachios, and flank steak for dinner. :)
The whole family has lost weight so far. My brother in law has lost 6lbs, and my sister is at 8lbs!

Hi Everyone - I am here waiting for all of you to return from your fun weekends. I hope there are great updates. I had a busy weekend on the farm but not much else to report. Last night I found out that my mother was taken to the hospital for a blood infection so I have been very preoccupied with dealing with that for the last 16 hours. She says she is fine but the doctors won't know definitely for a few days. She has almost no white blood cells to fit infections so the only hope are the antibiotics they are pumping into her. Very bad timing since I am supposed to go to a conference next week and I still haven't written the presentation. I have been like a zombie this morning though and don't care. I just can't concentrate on anything. This afternoon I have a subject coming so that will force me to focus on something else. I guess that's a good thing.

Renee - glad work has gotten better for you. It would be interesting to know if the diet has changed your moods enough to affect work.

Jessica - that's great that you have someone close by to help when you are gone. It's great to just know that someone is 'keeping an eye' on things for you. I still need to find help for my cats when I leave. At this point I sometimes make them go 48 hours without a visitor. They have food and water and seem to do ok. I guess it's better than the vet cages.

I anxiously await for you all to come back.

Wow, where is everyone? I hope everyone is alright. I came in to work yesterday all ready to catch up over the weekend and boy did I have an easy time of it. :p

Ang- Oh hon, I hope all goes well with your mom. Is she in good spirits? Hopefully that means she is fighting this off easy as pie. I'll keep her in my thoughts and prayers.

I've had complete success on the South Beach Diet. And while it hasn't been 'hard' for me to ditch the carbs and sweets, I can say that if my sister wasn't doing most of the cooking work on this, I'd never stick to this diet.

Yesterday was my final day on Phase I and this mornings weigh in marked a loss of 9lbs during the first Phase. :dancer: My sister and I have decided to do a very moderated Phase II. We are allowed to add healthy carbs back in, but we are going to limit that to 2-3 meals a week with carbs.

Todays meal plan:
Low carb yogurt.
Ham/lettuce/cheese/pickle roll up for snack (2)
Left over Lemon Pepper Pork and Cabbage.
Pear
Dinner is our first carbs in two weeks. Crab cakes made with whole wheat bread crumbs, and fresh cauliflower.
Dessert is some weird Phase I attempt at cheesecake squares, which I have a really bad feeling about. (I made them hahaha, that's enough to worry the bravest stomach!)

I really need to get the exercise part of things back into this routine. Beh. I always say 'this week' and then it never happens. Between not waking up in the mornings, work, make dinner, eat, clean dinner. It just doesn't leave much time.

Hope everyone is having a good day!

Well, I’m back at least (and at last)!

Ang – so sorry to hear about your mother! I hope she’s doing well, and that she’s well taken care of. At least she sounds as if she’s optimistic, so that's good, right?

My niece finally left late last night – she stayed a couple of days longer than she planned. I think it’s very nice that she enjoys being here with me, but I’m also happy getting back into my normal routines. Mostly it’s about getting my space back – where I live now is really not an ideal place to have guests; it’s incredible small!
We had a nice weekend though; she’s all grown up now (she’ll be 20 in November) and we enjoy much of the same things: we also share much of the same taste in movies, sci-fi novels, and comics. So we watched movies, we read – and I even got some schoolwork done (which I desperately needed to get done!).

Ang – the Newcomer meeting in your town sounds like an interesting concept, but it’s really too bad there’s nobody single there! Maybe you’ll find some friend-materials in your volunteer work or part-time job? The whole ‘trying to figure out how to make things better’ is such an excellent approach to take! And finding a purpose in life – yeah, it constantly changes, doesn’t it? I think right now my purpose is to finish school and get a job I like. I expect my purpose to change after that –
So what is your purpose, Ang? And Jessica and Renee?

Jessica – I’m sorry that your mother doesn’t want to hear about Mike, what do you think will happen when you tell her that you live with him? Will she be angry, and argue with you about it, do you think? In that case, it doesn’t make it any easier to tell, does it?
Hope you get your motivation to eat well back too. I ate crappy this weekend with my niece here – and even though it didn’t show up on the scale yesterday – it still made me feel sluggish and gassy and unwell. I have been looking forward to today all weekend – getting back to normal: getting up early, going to the gym, eating oatmeal for breakfast, real food for lunch and dinner, and no junk. I have insanely busy days right now, and I can’t tell what a difference it is when I’ve exercised in the morning and eat well; I feel so much better – the stress doesn’t bother me all that much. When I start off the day eating lousy, I just want to continue eating chocolate all day!

Renee – congratulations on your 9lbs loss! That’s incredible! :D

Ang – hope you’re having the best day it’s possible for you to have. And that your mother gets better right away, or as soon as possible!

Also: It’s really nice to be back! Have a happy Tuesday everybody!

Welcome back ladies. It's so good to have you back.

Congratulations Renee on your weight loss. Awesome job with the SB diet. Next time I can get to the library I think I am going to see if they have a copy of the book. I'd like to look it over before I buy one. I think it's great that your sister is doing it with you.

Subject arrived so gotta go. Mom holding her own today so feeling good about that too.

More later.... :D

Happy Tuesday everybody!

I have concluded that it’s very good to get my life back!
I did manage to go to the gym last Friday, so I went 3 times last week. This week is looking good too – I went yesterday morning and this morning so far, the third time on Friday. No jogging or cardio so far this week though. And I think I’m starting to get a bit ill – sore throat and a bit too warm – so maybe no jogging tomorrow morning. I had to work a bit to get to the gym today; I woke up tired from yesterday and a bit unwell.
But it’s still good to feel a bit sore and stiff – I did lower body yesterday and arms/chest today – and I do feel it all over. :D

Jessica – you need to report in, and tell us if something really interesting happened this weekend… ;)
Ang and Renee – good luck on work stress and the SBD!

Being off restricted eating still feels a bit strange to me, but I think it’s getting better. I probably just need some time – a couple of weeks, a month were my weight is completely constant. Last week doesn’t count as a week I want to use as a standard of how to eat: I do want to eat sweets, but not so much that I make myself unwell.

I have been getting some comments that I’ve lost weight, and I still don’t know what to say when people say things like: “You’ve lost weight!” or “You’re thinner!” - I end up saying: “Yes, I have” or “Yes, I am” – and then go on talking about something else. It’s all very awkward, but I really don’t know what to say. I do sometimes feel like I should explain how it happened, almost defend it – but I’m sure it’s just me feeling awkward…
How do you guys deal with other people’s comments? Ang, when you lost a lot of weight – you must have gotten a lot of them? Jessica, you too? Is it just me that get these strange comments – not really a compliment, not really a question – just stating the fact “you’ve lost weight”?

Anyway. Hope you’re all having a good day!

Just a week after I started the SB Diet, I was out with my friends and someone mentioned, 'Hey Renee, have you lost weight? Your pants look baggier.' And my other friends joked, 'You just made her day.' And I got all smily and said, "Yah! I started the South Beach diet and it seems to be working, I am really excited." They of course wanted to hear a little bit more about it and I obliged. It was a nice boost to the esteem!

Renee – how great that people are noticing your weight loss already! :cheer:
Also nice that it boosted your self-esteem! That’s always a good thing! :D

Renee - I'm so glad people are noticing your weight loss and that you are happy that they are mentioning it to you. If it helps motivate you to keep up the good work then great. mette - maybe your reaction to people noticing your weight loss has more to do with you then what they actually say. I know a lot of people who have trouble phasing comments/compliments. When you are comfortable in your body at this new weight I bet it won't bother you so much when people comment. I think you can infer that everyone is paying you a compliment when they mention your weight loss. I will also admit that when people commented to me I didn't really know how to respond unless they asked questions, which some did. You smile, say 'yes' and move on if thay is all they have to say about it. You lost the weight for yourself and how you feel is all that is important. I think your responses are fine and appropriate.

mette- good job with going to the gym even though you had company. How are you feeling? I hope you are not getting sick.

I had an allergic reaction to something and my eyes swelled up today and I am exhausted. A fine day otherwise. I had dinner with bf's mother. It was nice to chat and have a home cooked meal. I also found out the bf talks about me regularly with her. Everytime I mentioned something about my life she already knew because he had told her. Kind of nice - now if he could just talk to me as much as he talks about me. :)

Goodnight.

Ang – hope your eyes are well again after your allergic reaction. I’m doing well, I think, I’m still hoping I’ll avoid getting sick. I slept in this morning, and I think it helped a bit.

Glad to hear you had a nice dinner with the bf’s mother. And that he talks about you a lot! That’s a good sign, isn’t it? You and the bf will probably (and hopefully) have more time together when the farming season is over, and all the vegetables are picked and sold?

And I’m sure you’re right that my reaction to people noticing my weight loss has to do with me. Somehow it confirms that they actually pay attention to what I look like, you know? (And that they really saw what I looked like at my fattest too! I think I like to think that everybody else ignored my body like I did…. ;) ) Besides, I always wonder what people actually see when they look at me.
It’s good to hear that I’m not the only one who doesn’t know what to say sometimes, Ang… ;)

My plan is to go to the gym tomorrow morning, but I think I’ll consider how I feel. And, I really don’t have time to get ill now! Really! :D

Ang, how is your mother doing? Is she still doing better?

mette - things seem to be on the mend with my reaction. The swelling of my eyes is down and I think one more night of decent sleep should bring my energy level back up. I just wish I knew what I reacted to so I stay away from it. My skin is so dry and peeling - gets sensitive on my face when I react to things. It happens with some medication. I couldn't wear makeup or even use my topical skin medication today for fear of making it worse.

I hope it's a good sign that bf talks to his mother about me. I'm still hanging in hoping that his schedule changes soon and that I get a chance to talk to him. He expects me to be around for a while but not like this. I just need someone more present in my life. I'm making the best of it for now. I actually think the farm has allowed us to see each other more (believe it or not). At least we pick together and have this 'project' to talk about. I think the big culprit is his work and the fact that he hasn't been able to get a grip on his life - not the most organized guy in the world. We're actually planting winter crops now and did I mention that he asked if we could plant seeds in my house over the winter to be ready for spring planting?

Your comments about people noticing weight loss really hit me. It NEVER occurred to me that if someone noticed I lost weight then it meant they noticed that I was fat. Good grief! Maybe this is just the incentive I need to loss more weight. I am actually in the mood to start cooking again (pulled out a recipe book and actually cooked the other night) so I think I will get going with it when I get back from my conference next week. Maybe tonight after work I'll stop at the library to seeif they have the SBD book. I also wonder how people see me since I see myself with biased eyes. I man told me yesterday that I had a nice figure. What does that mean? Maybe he just likes fat women or could it be that I'm not as fat as I think I am. Who knows?

I am terrible with receiving compliments. One day a couple of years ago one of my best friends told me that I was being 'disrespectful' to people who complimented me because I would basically tell them that they were 'wrong'. She told me to shut up, smile and just say thank you. OK, she wasn't rude about it but you get the idea I hope. Since then I make a conscious effort to put my feelings aside and just smile and say thank you and move on. I don't make my problems their problems. It will feel more natural for you to accept such comments/compliments as time goes on but believe me you are not alone. :)

You mention that you are busy. How is school going? Are you enjoying your classes? Let us know if you make it to the gym tomorrow.

My mother is doing as well as can be expected. She is still in the hospital and will be until the weekend. So far so good though - just slow.

Hi Ladies,

I'm getting ready for work and thought I'd finally drop by and say hello. Work has been busier than ever, and my vacation with my parents is this weekend. They want me to ride with them to Cambria (about a 3.5 hour trip by car) and I'm feeling some axiety about that. I'm thinking about driving myself up and meeting them there, but don't want to seem selfish. Briefly scanned everyone's posts and am so happy Renee has lost so much weight and having success; and Ang, the situation with your mom must be very draining. I hope you get good news. I need to get going, but will be back in tonight (I promise!) and will tell you all about my vacation last weekend (very relaxing!)

Hope everyone has a great Friday!

Jessica - great to hear from you. I can't wait to hear about your weekend. I hope work is busy in a good way. When is your review? When are you leaving for the vacation with your parents? Is it this weekend now or this coming weekend?

Although my mom seems ok, at least according to her, she is still in the hospital and will be until Sunday at the earliest. I leave for New Orleans on Monday and really hope she is home before I have to leave. It would make me feel a lot better.

Things here are crazy as I try to get ready for my conference. My presentation isn't quite done yet and I have to clean my house a little before I leave so my friend (cat sitting) doesn't have a heart attack when she walks in. :) Other than that I should be doing farm stuff and some errands this weekend to prepare for leaving. I also hope to get in some biking and/or running. We'll see. Right now I'm trying to figure out what I want to do tonight that will make me happiest.

I hope everyone is doing well.

Ang – I hope everything is OK with your allergies: no more swelling and your energy back up!
And I think the bf talking to his mother about you is a good sign too. If you plant seeds in your house over winter, that means he will spend some time at your place – doesn’t it? So you will get to spend some time together doing that.

And “Ouch, Ang!!!” – I really didn’t mean to spread my phobias about people noticing weight loss around… Sorry about that… ;)
But nice to hear that you got complimented about your figure, I’m sure most people never think as negatively about us as we do ourselves. What did you answer him when he complimented you? Just a graceful “thank you”? I think your best friend is totally right about how to receive complements; I just figured that I don’t want to argue with people about it when I give them a compliment either, so I’m sure other people don’t want to argue with me when they compliment me. Normally, I just want to say something nice to them (that I noticed) to make them feel good.

Hope your mother gets out of hospital on Sunday as planned, and that everything goes well with her.
How is your presentation coming along btw? I also hope you get a nice trip to New Orleans, will you have time for some r&r and sight-seeing too, or is it just work?
And how did it go with the exercising - did you get any running/biking done this weekend?

Jessica – have a nice weekend with your parents!

I made it to the gym on Friday, I’m adding some new exercises – and changing my program a bit. Because I go to the gym in the mornings and time is restricted I have reduced the number of exercises every day to 4. Lower body on Monday (squats, leg press, leg curls, shoulder press), Upper body on Wednesday (bench press, one arm dumbbell rows, biceps curls, triceps extensions). On Friday I used to do a combination of exercises I had done earlier in the week (squats, bench press, one arm dumbbell rows), but since I lift to failure every time, I never manage to lift as much on Friday as I did on Wednesday. So now I do lower back extensions, ab crunches (with a machine), lat pulldowns and dead lifts on Friday. The lat pulldowns and dead lifts are completely new exercises for me. I like much better to have something new happening every day, not repeating exercises I already did that week. It’s also easier to increase the weight when I only do the exercises once a week – probably because the muscles are completely rested.

Today I’m doing some yoga and stretching, I’ve found that it’s the perfect weekend exercise for me.

I’m having a nice weekend so far. Went out for a play with my "feminist-class" on Friday; we are reading a play by Ibsen and went out to see it when we found out it was showing. It was OK, but a bit long. And it ended very tragic of course… But we already knew that. ;)

For Sunday I have a long list of school things I need to do.

Do any of you guys play computer games? Sims2 was just released, and I’m trying hard not to buy it. I really don’t have time this semester – and I’m thinking that I will wait until Christmas. But yesterday I visited a friend, and she had already bought it, and it looks wonderful! *sigh*
I’m not so sure I’ll be able to wait…. ;)

Have a nice weekend everybody!

Ok, so I didn't make it back Friday night. I'm feeling kind of scattered and flakey these days, it's just my state of mind right now. I'm getting ready to leave for Cambria to meet my family there; I opted out of going with them yesterday because I had to go to work for a couple of hours and try to get some things done around the house. It worked out well because Mike left for work last night at 10:30 p.m. and will be gone at least 7 days, so we got to spend some time together. My step-dad called last night and sounded in a really good mood. My brother rented a house for us with apparently a beautiful ocean view, so the next few days should be really nice and relaxing. I'm trying to ease my parent-anxiety and just enjoy the trip for what it is.

Our weekend (Mike and I) was really nice. The place where we stayed was nestled in the hills and only about a five minute drive from the beach. We had our own mineral water hot tub on our patio; the only problem was that one of the minerals in the water was sulfur, so it was really stinky! Most of the time we ate at the hotel restaurant which was really fancy and REALLY good. We hiked around, walked on the beach, soaked in the spa, watched a couple of movies... it was really peaceful. No proposal like I'd thought maybe there would be, but that's ok.

Hope everyone's having a great weekend. Mette: I usually just play card games on the computer, and sometimes those little freebie games on yahoo and msn, but I have played the Sims before, I just ended up with unhappy characters so I got frustrated and stopped playing. In fact, I even set one on fire once! Sheesh. I've also played Roller Coaster Tycoon which is pretty fun. Mike just got Railroad Tycoon and has been having fun with that.

Ok all, I'm off to my weekend adventure. I'll be back on Tuesday!

Hello Ladies. :)

mette - all good with the allergies. Hopefully they won't return. I think planting seeds in my house is good. The fact that bf keeps talking about next year with me in it is good too (assuming I want to be with him next year). Don't have time for details now, still need to pack for conference and I leave at 10am tomorrow, but I have had some serious talks with bf and told him some stuff. He tells me that things will be better in a month or so and that it is the work and not me. We still need to have a very serious sit down face-to-face (we talked about needing this) but I really think he cares and I just need him to realize he needs to communicate it better. I also need to understand him better. I am trying to give him credit when he says things now, even if it isn't exactly how I want to hear them. Yesterday we talked on the phone for 40 minutes while he drove home from work! It was just like old times talking about a wide range of subjects. I saw him today and it was pretty good. He lent me the shirt off his back (literally) because I was called. It smells like him. I am going to bring it on my trip. :D

Yesterday it poured here so I got a bunch of cleaning done in the house. I have lots more to do but feel really good about the progress I made. When I get back I am ready to start getting my life in order. I am definitely going to start SB diet and start working on the house and my life. In a good place today. Yeah! :D Went running with a friend this morning (4.2 miles).

mette - I didn't mean to make you feel bad about the weight loss thing. I just hadn't thought about it. If I never gain that much weight again then it will never be an issue either. ;)

As for compliments - I can barely get out Thank You so that's all I strive for and usually manage it - this past time included.

Mother is still in hospital and hopefully will leave tomorrow or Tuesday. The doctors don't work on the weekends and they are just being very slow with her. I think she is out of the woods though so I am not worried.

The presentation is basically done. A little fine tuning when I get off the computer here and then I'll burn it onto a disk and I'll be ready. I'll just practice it a couple of times while I am in NO. I'm hoping for a fun trip. No professional expectations this time - what a relief. I should have one afternoon to at least walk around a little and one evening. I guess it ends up being a lot of work but some fun too. My goal is just to come home without doing something embarrassing. It won't make or break my career at this point.

mette - sounds like you are doing really well at the gym. Your new plan seems very sound and reasonable. Do you feel any different? stronger? more toned?

I don't play computer games - not enough time and I prefer to be outside. In the winter I may play some games but not the kinds you are talking about. I go the solitaire type and mahjongg stuff. Hold out if you can. I know a lot of people that get addicted and just takes up too much time.

Were you able to get your school stuff done mette? Are you enjoying the work?

Jessica - sounds like there is potential for a great trip. I hope you can put aside the issues with your parents and enjoy it. I am very envious of your weekend with Mike. It sounds like it was WONDERFUL. You deserved it.

Yikes, 9:16pm already. Gotta get this presentation done. I'll check in when I can from the conference. I'm hoping to get at least one or two good New Orleans meals in but in general hope that I don't overdo it. I wa going to bring running stuff but reality hit me and I'm not going to waste the room. With only two days it isn't going to happen probably. I figure if I have time I can always walk and I don't need anything special for that. I am going to wear sneakers on the plane so I'll have them just in case.

Have a great Monday mette. Were is Renee?

Hey ladies!

Trying to skim through things and post before I get swallowed up by work.
Yes - I play video games, in fact, you could almost go so far as calling me a 'gamer chick'. I currently play Final Fantasy Online, one of those big, multi-user roleplaying games. I am sooo addicted.

Saturday I worked the Farm Fest at the Hooved Animal Humane Society. For seven straight hours I gave pony rides, which involved lifting children in and out of saddles, and then walking in large circles. We (the other pony people and I) wager that we put in about 20 miles of walking. -and I have the blisters to prove it. My calves, inner thighs, hips.. everything hurts! I can't believe that I got so sore from JUST walking!

The weight loss, for the whole house has not only stalled, but reversed. We have no idea what's going on. We did so well in Phase I, and have not cheated in Phase II, but all of us showed a 1lb gain this week. How frustrating! I've posted on the South Beach board to see if this has happened to others, and how common it is. Still, very discouraging. I am going to blame part of it on my monthly visitor, which is -again- late this month, but I think today it'll come around. I really don't want to go back on the pill because my sister always scares me that it's related to breast cancer. :(

Anyway, menu today.
Yogurt
String Cheese
Whole wheat pita w/ turkey cheese lettuce and mayo & spaghetti squash with red sauce
More cheese
Chicken something or other for dinner.

Oh, and I have an ortho appt. today so on top of sore feet, I'll have sore teeth! Hahaha.

Hi everybody! Are you still there?

Jessica, are you home from Cambria?
Ang, are you home from New Orleans?
Renee, are you home too? ;)

I haven’t posted since Saturday I think – my so called real life came up and bit me in the a**, so to speak. I became very busy suddenly. I have a multiple choice exam in neuropsychology next Wednesday, so I have a lot to read this week.

Jessica, your weekend sounds so great: nice weather, spa, beach, beautiful scenery, great food – and great company too! Good for you!

Ang, great that you and the bf have some serious talks every now and then; and it must really make you feel good when he says that it will be better in a month or so? Sounds like good news, doesn’t it? :D
(I used to love to wear my ex-bf’s clothes and have his smell on me too! I bet it made great sleepwear on your trip, huh?)

And Ang, you didn’t make me feel bad about ‘spreading my phobias around’ – I just didn’t mean to! (*oops*!) And of course! Neither of us will ever gain weight again – so it will not be an issue for us anyway! ;)

Hope your mother is getting better! And also hope you had some fun in New Orleans? How did the presentation go? (I’m sure you did great!) :cheer:

As for my progress at the gym – I’m not really sure if I feel stronger, different or more toned. I suppose I feel stronger – if for no other reason so because I *am* getting stronger, and the numbers on the weights change/the weights I lift are heavier.
I’m having some problems with measuring progress on my body though. It has something to do with not trusting what I see and feel anymore when it comes to becoming strong/toned than I did when it came to losing weight. I tend to measure my progress by how much I increase the weight I lift. Next week I’ll take my measurements and see if they’ve changed since September first - hopefully they have.
Next week I will have maintained my weight for a whole month.

No Sims2 yet, but I really, really *want* it! *sigh* I’ll hold out though! :D
My article about ‘heroes, heroines, and archetypes in film’ got accepted too, btw! So yey for that!

Renee – your weekend with the Farm Fest(!) sounds like exhausting fun! Hope you’re still hanging in there dietwise too – and haven’t gotten completely frustrated by the missing weightloss. Hopefully you have started losing again by now!

I have to go back to my neurobiology book (Brain and behavior!) and read about the anatomy and physiology of the different nervous systems! Have a great Wednesday everybody!

Heh, where is everyone? >.>? Now I feel like it is my sole duty to keep the forum thread going! Hope you all are doing well and feeling great.

After a week of not losing (Thanks alot TOM) I weighed in today to see a pound missing from! Good riddance, I don't think I'll go looking for him. ;) I am at a total of 15lbs lost since really buckling down on eating right, and 3 lbs short of my goal for the cruise, which was to have lost 18lbs. My reward is going to be to splurge on a nice massage.

I am still aiming to lose a total of 30 by Christmas, which means I have 15 more to go and 13 weeks to do it. I think that is a pretty fair goal?

Work has been so much better lately. I am still boggled over what the change is. Was it me? Has eliminating the carb-rollercoaster really helped me balance my moods so well?

I think the next big hurdle for me is going to be really, truly incorporating more activity into my lifestyle. It's not a matter of hating activity, but finding activities I can get so addicted to, that I put them above other things, namely: me time. I.E When I get home from work, I want to veg out in front of my video game. ;)

So that's whats going on here. Hope to see you ladies soon! Oh, by the way, my sister joined this forum too but hasn't posted. Don't know if she will, but her name is ruffir!

She did a search for fat chicks diet, and clicked on something at work that was NOT this forum. ROFL! Poor Ruffir.

Edit: Hehe, Mette snuck in and posted at the same time! Hiya Mette! Good to see ya back.

Hi Renee! At least you and I are still here!
It’s a bit sad that this thread is slowing down, I have really, really enjoyed having everybody here on a daily basis this summer. But I suppose it’s waxing and waning with how busy our real lives are.
Renee: congratulations on losing 15lbs! Great work! :cheer:
15lbs in 13 weeks should be possible to do, especially if you increase activity too! ;)
And say hi and welcome to your sister, hopefully she’ll be inspired and motivated by this place too. Have you been posting some in the SBD and other forums, Renee? I’ve been posting a few posts in the LWL (ladies who lift), one thread in the Exercise forum and in the Alternachick forums. But this place has always been my favorite thread! :D

Ah well. Hope you have a nice day Renee. Talk to you later.

Hey Mette!

Yah I post occasionally on the SBD threads, usually with specific questions, or recipe advice. :) But like you, here is my favorite.

So with the lifting, can you recommend a good site to go to, that shows you good machines/exercises to build a routine around? When I first joined Bally's, I had 2 Personal Trainer sessions so I know how to use the machines, but not how to build a routine. (Those sessions, I think she overdid it with me too, she wasn't very good. I was immobile sore for a full week afterwards!)

I was thinking of, in the meantime, starting to do push ups and sits ups every day. At least to do something with my muscles.

Oooh ! Lunch time, and I have pictures to pick up! Back soon.

Hi Ladies.

I'm sorry I wasn't able to post while I was at my conference but I have returned. I need to try and get some sleep so I'll have to give a proper report tomorrow. Short version - my mother is home from the hospital and holding her own with the help of a visiting nurse and medication. My presentation went fine. All feedback was positive - very professional was the main theme. It generated A LOT of discussion which is a good sign at this conference. I even got one idea to add to my data analysis. In general I tried to enjoy the conference and I did - little pressure on me from me. I'm glad to be home. I have a renewed attitude. I am trying to get a hold of the SB diet book and am going to start that asap. I am also ready to tackle the house projects and begin my life yet again. I guess I just have to keep trying. Maybe one day I'll get it right. :)

Have a great night.

Hi guys.

Renee – about good links for sites with exercises w/machines – I don’t think I have what you're looking for.
As I’ve said before, I adore Krista but she mostly talks about weights and not machines: http://www.stumptuous.com/weights.html
Another site I use is ExRx Exercise & Muscle Directory: http://www.exrx.net/Lists/Directory.html - you can find exercises by muscle or by exercise, it’s really a very good site. I have mainly looked at the exercises for bars and dumbbells, but they also show exercises for cables and levers – and those are machines. You can look and see what you find.
The third site I use is Fitsite: http://www.fitsite.com/anatomy.cfm. This site shows exercises by muscles – it’s very good and informative. Some free weights, some cables and levers here too – but probably not what you’re looking for if you’re looking for a new program on the regular machines.

To build a routine I suggest you split up your body on how many days you’re going to the gym a week. If you’re going twice a week: do a 2-split, if you’re going three times: do a 3-split, etc.
You can build a program for machines on one of Krista’s programs: A 2 day split: Do lower body one day (use the machines that cover calves, hamstrings, quadriceps and glutes) and upper body the other day (biceps, triceps, shoulders, chest, back) - warm up first both days, stretch and do sit-ups after.

And you know – I really recommend the free weights, don’t you have a weight room at your gym? I’m getting such a kick out of weight lifting! It’s such a surprise for me! :D

Ang – how nice that your trip and presentation went well! And also that your mother is doing OK. Hope you get some sleep and rest – and great to hear you’re having a renewed attitude! Good for you!
Of course you’re going to get it right! We all are, eventually – some of us just need to practice a bit longer than others… ;) I know I have.

It’s Friday, and I need to start reading for my exam – but I’m procrastinating instead….
Hope you’re all having a nice Friday!

And you know – I really recommend the free weights, don’t you have a weight room at your gym? I’m getting such a kick out of weight lifting! It’s such a surprise for me!

Yah we do... but all the really jockish guys are back there grunting away and I could just never go back there and mess with them! :p

Thanks for the sites, I'll check them out after lunch. Which is two low carb, whole grain ham sandwich wraps with mozzarella cheese, Hellmans 2 Good Mayo, and lean ham. Oh, romaine lettuce too. ;)

I think I've stallled on my losing because I had too few calories. I was below 1100 on most days starting Phase II, and now my sister and I track it at fitday, and it's been a real challenge to get up to 1200 calories! I am forcing myself to eat more than I want to, I get full, but ... don't have enough calories. We'll have to see.

Renee: as you say; eating too little is not good for your metabolism, and you should try to keep (well) above 1200 if you’re planning to keep doing this for a while.
It’s either eating more or start building more muscles that will burn more calories…. :D

As for: Yah we do... but all the really jockish guys are back there grunting away and I could just never go back there and mess with them! :p This is what kept me out of the weight room too. They really are intimidating and usually not very welcoming, aren’t they? Which is why it’s so important that you know what you’re doing when you start lifting weights in there! It’s important to have a program made by an instructor, and an introductory session where the instructor shows you how to do all the different exercises. So that – on the first time you go in there all by yourself – you know what to do. Which dumbbells to reach for, what kind of bench you should sit/lie on, how to do the exercises with good form, etc.
I found pretty soon that the mirrors were scarier than the guys there…. ;)

Try the machines, see if you can get together a program that works for you – if you don’t find out how; try to start a thread in the Exercise forum and ask for help there. Or in the Ladies Who Lift forum (although they mostly talk about free weights there).

And if – after a while (a month? a couple of months?) – you get bored with the machines: remember the free weights and the weight room! :lol:
It’s where the action is! Really! I promise!
Jessica – what happened to your journey into the weight room? Do you have some tips to share with Renee too?

So – what are your plans for the weekend? Ang: hope you’re feeling rested and good! OK. Hope you’re all are having a great weekend!

I found this web site a while ago but like getting away from my healthy eating habits I strayed from the site as well. Maybe because I was ashamed of my lack of will power. Whatever the reason I'm back becuase not only did I stop losing weight I gained 12 more pounds. I was going through the support groups and found yours by accident. I'd love to join! It sounds like you guys have defintely helped each other along this LOOOOOng journey.

LIttle bit about myself;
*25 years old, 4 kids (16,12,5,1 years old) (the older ones are mine through marrige :) )
*Always had a problem with my weight
*Got motivated 4 years ago and lost 45 pounds - kept it off for almost 2 years!!!
*When I started that I was at my highest weight of 182 but now I sit before you now at a place I never imagined to be - 202lbs.
*I know this is an incredibly long and commited journey to a new and better way of life but once agian I am ready. I know I can't do it alone though.
*Low fat diet and excercise is how I did it before but I am always open to new suggestions.

Looking forward to a better feeling me! - Jedi

Sorry - so sorry. Farmer had a stroke and is in hospital since Friday. Can't imagine how busy things have been trying to visit him, work, and keep up with his house. A lot of legal crap too. Two subjects a day at work this week also. I promise to make it back here though.

Keep up the good work mette and Renee. Welcome Jessica2 (just in case Jessica1 returns, which I hope she does). :)

Hey all! Welcome Jessica2 (You've been dubbed it seems lol)

Ang- sorry to hear things are so hectic right now, do your best to find a bit of yourself time soon so you don't get over loaded! I hope things calm down soon for you.

Mette- I know I know, I am a big wussy. I should just go do the weights like you did! Maybe I will just piece together a routine for myself on the other machines, until I am more confident. I mean, they work the same muscles right? I'll have to check out the ladies who lift forum for some tips, and some do's and dont's.

Jessica2- Nice to meet you, and hope that you find some solid support here and around the forum. When I first got on here, it was weeks before I started reporting back with anything but negative stuff. ;P So hang in there.

As for me, I weighed this morning (okay, I confess, I got addicted to the scale during Phase I and weight myself every morning) and was down to 171. I seriously can't remember the last time I saw the scale ring in so low! I am soooo excited. It's really got me encouraged and motivated to continue on with this and do more. I've lost all this so far, by mostly just dieting, and I've lost inches in both my waist and hips - I just KNOW that if I added in some strength training and cardio that I will start really shaping up! (haha pun) Anyway, I am feeling good, my pants are falling off my hips and I can't wait to get to the point where I can go buy some new clothes that look more feminine and nice, and less baggy/sloppy.

Have a good day girls, good luck with your goals, pamper yourself and smile!

Hi Ladies,

As I've been eating whatever I want and not exercising, I feel like I've abandoned my plan completely and feel a little guilty posting these days... I'm doing fine, work is kicking my butt (which is part of the reason why I haven't made time to cook or even think about the gym, I'm exhausted...) I've gained back two pounds, but know that it will start to creep back if I don't slow down and refocus on my goals. Sheesh.

Welcome, Jessica2! :-) These gals are great and I know you'll find all kinds of support here.

Hope everyone is well. I have to go in to work early this morning, so that's all for me for now. Hope I'll be welcome back even in my gluttony! *sigh*

Jessica

Hi guys!
Well, I finally had my exam today! I have been studying pretty hard, and now I’m exhausted and just want to go to sleep! :D I’m not sure how I did yet, I think I’ll know Friday whether I passed or not. I sure hope I did – the questions were hard and I definitely did not know all the answers. I’m hoping for the best.

Jessica2: welcome! Since you have lost 45lbs and kept it off for 2 years, you really know how to do it, don’t you? What did you do to maintain the weight for 2 years? Did you just keep up what you did while losing the weight?
I started maintaining my weight last month, and so far I’ve just added calories – I ate about 1500 a day while losing weight and I’m up to about 2000 a day now. I’m still losing a little – I’ve lost 2lbs since I started maintaining – so I’m still adding calories. I also lift weights so I try to add proteins and good, healthy food. But sometimes I eat cookies too! :D
I hope you come back often and that you enjoy this place!

Ang – so sorry to hear about your friend’s stroke and how busy and chaotic your life became. Did your new attitude and SBD-restart go out the window in the middle of it? It doesn’t matter of course; it will be time for that when things have calmed down again. Take care of yourself in the midst of everything!
And I just have to tell you – the weather has been really bad here the last weeks, so I’ve abandoned my Tuesday and Thursday morning jog. But I discovered the wonders of the treadmill at the gym, and how I can program speed, time, intervals, and everything! And I’m completely hooked! I can measure my progress weekly! (Oh yes, I am a geek, and I measure progress – I have an excel worksheet where I record my weight lifting and now my running too! :lol: )

Renee – yes, the machines work the same muscles – sort of. But the free weights are better exercise because you also coordinate your body while lifting them, and you use more body parts (more muscles) on each exercise. The machines tend to be very specialized.
But of course it’s good exercise to do the machines, and it *is* a good place to start. But just remember – if you get bored – that the free weights are an option too. And they’re more challenging and ergo less boring! ;-)
I started out with the machines and got bored after a while, so I sort of dropped out of the gym – and then I read Krista and wondered whether I would dare to try the weights in the scary room of the gym. And I’m very glad I did, even if I spent quite some time getting there.
Just start where you’re comfortable Renee, and you’ll do great!
Great to hear that you’re losing the pounds! Congratulations!

And Jessica – very glad to see you back too! You know, you should come and hang out with us – no matter how you’re eating. Good to hear you’re doing fine though! The gained pounds will come off once you get back on plan again.
Have you figured out what threw you off? Did you get bored? Was your program too strenuous? Did the stress from work take up too much time? Other things?
There’s some great knowledge to be gained from it: figuring out what doesn’t work.

OK. I’ll see if I can do something about this sleep deprivation of mine! Have a great Wednesday everybody! :D

Hey guys! Anyone out there, cmon, don't be shy. Where'd everyone go? Hope things are going well for everyone. Still trucking along slowly but surely here. Have allowed myself a few too many treats and 'oh it wont hurts' but getting back into the more solid groove.

We won at softball today, had a blast. I even made it to second on an infield bobble! The team was soooo proud. It was great, I am really feeling better about myself lately.

Well take care ladies, drop a note so I know that you guys are doing ok. :)

Wow where is everyone!? I feel .... so .... alone. Come back! :D

Hi Renee.

I know I have been away for a long while but I have to admit that I checked in the other day and there was no activity so I though everyone had abandoned the group. I'm still here though. Work is extremely hectic so I have had a lot less time for e-mail but I'll make a better effort. Short update...

I'm still hashing it out with bf. The farm is done - frost killed the rest of the plants. I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do about 'gardening' over the winter but that relates directly with bf situation so I don't know yet. I got the SB Diet book and hope to find time to read it and start next Monday. How is it going for you? Are you still having success? Any thoughts/advice/encouragement would be appreciated. I know Phase I is going to be hard, particularly alone, but I figure it is only for 2 weeks so I'm going to give it a shot. I also need to get back into running. After I went away to my conference something happened to my life and I need to get it on track again.

How are you doing? Has the stress at work still been lower than before?

What ishappening with everyone else? mette - how is school? I am sure it is keeping you busy. How are your exams going?

Jessica - how is work, life, Mike?

Hey Ang! Wow, so good to hear from you.
Work has been up and down lately for me. I am in the process of getting out and looking for other stuff in the meantime. Stress somedays is alright, somedays horrid.

The diet is discouraging right now. I am fluctuating between 169-171 and have been for like three weeks now. I am going to try a new approach, and do a little bit of Weight Watchers - while choosing the carbs/fats that SB recommends. I think I have cut out too many calories.

I also need to get into some kind of exercise, I still haven't. I am all talk when it comes to that.

Is there any indoor type stuff you could garden? Hope things work out with the bf, you could should find a wintery hobby to do together... like, uh cross country skiiing? I have no idea. :P

Renee - what other types of work/jobs are you looking for? Any luck? Work has been pretty stressful for me to but I'm sure in different ways. I am trying to do too much and still learning how to play nicely with others. :lol:

I'm sorry to hear that the diet is discouraging. Have you been sticking to the plan pretty well? Do you recommend I go ahead and try it? How much weight have you lost since you started? almost 20? I definitely think that exercise is necessary for good health and should definitely help you with continued weight loss. If you're not eating enough that would also stop your weight loss. Maybe mette will come back and can talk more about amounts. Have you thought about counting your calories for 2 or 3 days to just see how much you are truly eating?

What do you think is stopping you from exercising? I haven't exercised either and I think it is partly weather and partly the schedule I am keeping. I am making other things more of a priority than myself - not good. I know I need to sit down and come up with a cold weather exercise plan and just give it a try. I'm not sure if that will mean joining a gym or trying to run at lunch - yuck!

For me and gardening through the winter it will be a little work outside with cold frames (winter lettuce, carrots, beets, etc.). The crops are low maintenance and not very big but at least it's something to do. Come March I am going to start planting seeds in my house. That should be fun. This winter I need to do some reading to learn more about planting inside and how to make the farm more profitable next year. :) I'm also working on helping the old man at the farm clean his house and stuff. That should keep me busy at least for a few more weeks - I may even get a chance to help plaster, paint, etc. If I can learn how to do it there then I can bring the knowledge back to my house. :D

What types of outdoor activities do you like to do in the winter? I enjoy skiing and sledding. I'm not against ice skating too. I think there's stuff to do in the winter, it's just finding time and people to do it with that's the problem for me.

Sorry Ang, and whoever else is peeking in still - I was down in Florida. I totally did not follow the diet, but all that walking around Disney, and I managed to maintain my weight. Now it's back to the drawing board. I'll post more tomorrow. Tired now.

Hi Renee. I hope you had a good time at Disney. Tell me all about it when you have a chance. Are you going back to Phase I with the diet? I have sort of been trying to start the diet but I never make enough time to sit down and plan out groceries and a menu for the first week. Maybe I'm just not committed enough yet. I have just been terrible about grocery shopping (worse than ever) and cooking. At the rate I'm going I won't be eating anything within a year - I bet I would lose weight though.

It's another week - anyone else out there?

Well back at the desk today and trying to keep a good attitude going so far. I have my new stuffed 'Sullivan' (from Monsters Inc.) sitting on my radio to help keep me cheery.

My sister and I go down to visit my dad every year, so it's getting to be routine. We do the parks, the beach, shop, just kick back and do whatever really. We had a lot of ice cream (sometimes twice a day) and Dairy Queen was just about the most staple part of our diet. She gained weight (she has a bad foot and was thus in a wheelchair, not walking) and I maintained (because I was pushing her around all the time haha!) It was a blast though.

I was going to stay on phase II of the diet now. I thought I had slimfast here at work still so didn't bring anything or stop, and now I have nothing! I am in a bit of a panic - but maybe time will go by quickly and lunch will be here. I can eat my snacks too I suppose - then go out and get something more at lunch.

My sister and I did a liberal approach to the SBD and still lost. We both hit plateaus now, (as of abouve 3-4 weeks ago) and haven't budged since. We still think it might have been too few calories. My new plan was to do a SBD/WW - aim for a certain amount of points each day, while choosing foods that would be SB approved. Basically, make sure my carbs are from fruit/veggies and whole grain/whole wheat stuff.

I know that my real hitch is exercice. I don't do it. I could probably bust this plateau if I just got up! I just, am really selfish with my me time. Since I don't enjoy exercise, I'd rather spend it at home with video games, or hanging out with friends.
We'll see. Winter's coming. If we get a good freeze going, I can start skating again!

Ehm… Is this thing on? Testing 1-2-3. Can anybody hear me??

Or is the thread long dead? Ang, Renee and Jessica – have you all left the forum, or are you still lurking and reading posts sometimes?
How are you doing with your diets and exercising? How are you doing in your lives, jobs, with your boyfriends?

My semester is over and I’m on Christmas vacation. School has been very busy and did take up most of my time this fall. I haven’t been on 3FC much at all the last months, except for posting a few posts in “Ladies who lift”.
My weight maintenance is going very well. In the beginning I moved between 181 and185lbs, but the last month I’ve been stabilizing on 183lbs. I don’t eat any different from what I did when I lost weight, except that I eat more. Somewhere between 1900 and 2000 calories a day. And I try to eat more protein.
I still do weightlifting 3 times a week at the gym, and I really, really like it. I changed my program at the beginning of November (after 3 months), and I’m still getting stronger but not it’s not happening as fast as it did in the beginning. I’m not doing much cardio though, so my aim for the new year is to increase that.

I would love to hear from you guys again. Wish you all a great holiday: a merry Christmas, a happy New Year, and all that!! :)
:merry:

I'm around although life seems to be getting busier each week. It's amazing how you think that life can't get any worse/busier and then wham! something else happens.

I have not been in the forums at all as this was the thread that kept me coming back. I haven't been getting on the computer at home much at all so personal internet/e-mail stuff has slacked. I would be happy to do more at work, but darn it if they don't expect me to actually get some research done while I'm here. :)

I'm glad you are back mette and doing so well with your weight and lifting. How was your semester? Any response from Renee or Jessica? I am getting ready to go to CT for the holidays but will be back with updates of my own. Maybe getting this thread going again would be the motivation I would need to get moving again. I haven't been eating right (emotional eating) and I haven't been exercising much at all. Consequently I have gained at least 5 pounds and it doesn't feel good at all. I finally gave in and realized that I must go buy some new pants to wear. I can't go to work naked. :lol:

Have a Merry Christmas and I'll be back on Sunday, hopefully to a thriving thread. :D

:merry:

Hi Ang, it’s so nice to see posts in our thread again! :D
I haven’t heard anything from Renee or Jessica yet, put perhaps they’ll check in again soon (maybe after New Year?).

So – busy, busy, busy at work? It can be good, as long as you’re not completely stressed out – I suppose? I’m still looking forward to hear what happened to the boyfriend – and where the new one came from. ;)

My semester this fall was fairly good; I took a course in neuropsychology with some hospital practice (mostly neuropsychological testing) and a course in community psychology. I liked the neuropsychology better than the community psychology – real people and patients are more interesting than theories and theoretical populations.
For my next semester I’m basically doing hospital practice for most of the semester – it’s the longest period of external practice we’ll do before we graduate next January. I’m going to work with patients who’re trying to live with chronic pain from diseases like cancer, rheumatism, etc. I’m both completely terrified and looking forward to it!

And I just came back home today from spending Christmas with my mother, so I’m going to vegetate on the sofa today. Tomorrow I’ll find out what happened to the scale after 4 days of eating constantly and completely without restraints. I’ll also get back to the gym for some weightlifting and some cardio tomorrow.

Hope you had a nice holiday Ang! And I hope we’ll get this thread going again too!

Hey guys! Hi hi hi hi hi! So good to see you again! I lurked around but went into hiding when things got so quiet!

Work is going well actually, the stress has vanished and they gave us nice bonuses for Christmas!! Pretty content with where things are and so that is good. Next step. Find husband! LOL!

Weight loss is going great! I am still losing very slowly, but it is adding up quickly. The past 3 weeks has been nothing but cheating, but I haven't gained any weight back, so I am not hating on myself yet. I think what happens, is that I eat some candies/chocolates, then feel sick, then don't eat for a while... etc etc. It's an unhealthy teeter-totter, but now that holiday stuff is over, so should it be over!

I really want to get back into going to the gym, as I haven't touched it in months. I know that many people do this as their resolutions and I am prepared to have a busier than normal gym for a while. I told myself, too bad, you're going anyway, get over it. :) I 25 lbs to lose to get to my goal weight, and intend to get there by May 1st (Which I think is totally doable at 6lbs a month.) Softball should be great by then!

Also, in another 5lbs I reach my next mini goal in which I sign up for riding lessons again, which is only going to account for more exercise! (Great for the legs and butt too, woo!)

Good to see you gals, happy holidays and wishes for a bright new year!

I second both the “hi hi hi hi hi!” and the “So good to see you again!”!! :lol:

Renee – so good to hear that both work and weight loss are going well! As for looking for a husband, I think you should talk to Ang about it – she seems to pick up new boyfriends very easily?? ;)
(Still waiting for the story behind that, Ang!)

It’s good news that you don’t gain weight back when you’re eating off your diet, Renee. How is your sister doing? Is she doing just as well as you on her diet?
Love your weight loss goal for 2005!

As for the holiday binge: I consider the feast over now! We’ll get back to normal now, right??? I spent the Christmas weekend with my mother – and did (surprisingly!) not gain any weight. But I did get back to the gym today for 45 minutes of cardio – (I felt really great after: A big “Yey!” for endorphins!) - and I’ll do weights tomorrow!

Hope everybody is having a great day! :)

Hi Ladies - you both are just what I needed. It's good to be back and I hope we can continue to keep in touch even with our busy schedules.

First to respond to your posts...

I am so glad you are both doing so well. I am sooooo happy for you and sad for myself at the same time. I hope to get motivated and inspired by both of you. More on me later....

mette - It sounds like you had a good semester and a very interesting one coming up. I still envy you being at school. I miss school so much. This real world stuff isn't all that it's cracke dup to be. :?: Your 'assignment' for next semester sounds very interesting. I can also understand your apprehension though. What are your goals with these people? When do you start?

Congratulations to both of you on not gaining weight over the holidays. I think it is a testament to how you have 'conditioned' your bodies. I guess dedication does pay off. mette - good foryou for getting right back to the gym Renee - I think we need to take a cue from mette and get to the gym ourselves. I did just agree to get a treadmill from this guy in town who is giving an old one away for free. You can only walk on it but that should be better than nothing (which is what I am doing right now). The weather here is really cold and I think I have SAD (seasonal affective disorder) so I need to do something. I'm hoping having the treadmill in the house will help me get moving at least a little during the week. We'll see.

mette - how was your visit with your mother? Did you have a good time? Renee - what did you do for the holidays?

Renee - I can't believe how well you have done with your weight loss - congratulations! :cheer: Are you still doing a modified South Beach Diet? What happened at work that all of the stress is gone? I think it's great though. Life must be so much better without stress at work. Your goal definitely sounds reasonable - the weight one that is. :lol: Of course getting a husband is reasonable but definitely not easy - regardless of how easy I may seem to find boyfriends - I always seem to find the ones with problems.

Shoot - it's getting late but I want to give you a brief update. I finally got sick of not getting anything from my bf and got him to sit down and talk to me. He told me everything I had guessed...too much stress at work, not happy with himself, nothing to give to a relationship.... ok, no surprise but why he couldn't tell me 6 months ago I don't know. We broke up because I want more and he can't give it and wasn't giving me any indication that anything was going to change, ever. We are still 'friends' and plan to do the farming together in the spring. I'm not sure if he has totally giving up on us but for now not too much has changed in his life and he isn't making any moves these days to see me so I've given up...unfortunately there is still some sick connection I have with him but that's a different story that I can't explain but need to deal with soon.

Meanwhile, the farmer (that old man I leased my garden from - I hope you remember) had two strokes and he is not doing well. I am dong my best to help out with that situation and it is a mess. Not important for here and too strange to explain in less than 10 pages. Let's just say the police are involved and it is a mess. I'm just trying to be a friend to the old man while he is in the hospital (on his way to a nursing home forever :( ). After his first stroke (about 3 months ago) his nephew came back into his life. At this time I had gotten rid of bf and this guy showed a lot of interest. We are seeing each other. He has his issues (a big one or two) but he seems like a good guy and he really seems to care about me. He makes time to see me and does everything for me that he can. He is almost opposite to the last bf. He is a bit older than me (46 compared to 40 for the last bf) but wants to have more children. Yes, he has two sons (14 and 16). Here's the bad part - please no judging - he is still married. He has been 'separated' (although still living in house) for ~8 months and will be moving out within the next 2 weeks (if he doesn't he is history). I'm trying to be patient and trying to not feel completely terrible for what is happening. He swears the marriage was over way before he met me, but still.

Believe it or not that's the short version of my story. Feel free to inquire about any part of it. The bottom line is that the stress of deadlines at work combined with the stresses at home (personal relationships and trying to removate my old house) and the cold and dark weather have made me stop exercising and I have started binging again. I have gained about 10 pounds and don't fit into my pants and I'm terrified. I don't know if I have anything to wear to work tomorrow that fits. I know I need to just go to the store and buy a couple of things that are bigger to wear for now. I just didn't want to admit that it had gotten this bad. I'm scared and it just makes me eat more and move less.

I can really use the support of friends and hope that the two of you have time for this thread again. I can use the help and I know it helps me to be able to be there to support others too. So welcome back and Happy New Year to us!

I think we can keep this thread alive and give each other support, too! I have really missed the routine of daily checking in and being kept accountable! I want ‘The Pact’ and 3FC back as a daily habit again.

Ang – you really have had a stressful couple of months. Sorry about your neighbor, does this mean that you can lose the garden next summer? If he goes to a nursing home and the farm is sold?
I’m sorry about your breakup with the ex-bf too – but it was reasonable to break-up since you didn’t get what you wanted from the relationship, wasn’t it? The nephew /new bf sounds like a nice guy, and you probably could use a man who’s ready to commit to you. As for him being married, Ang – just take care of yourself: as long as you’re not too patient and don’t wait around too long for him – and as long as he actually moves out from his wife – being married in itself doesn’t make him a bad guy. I’m wondering about becoming a stepmother for two teenage boys though! That sounds challenging! ;)

I’m so sorry to hear you’re binging and feeling out of control with your eating. I know I’ve been there too, and it takes a bit of time and some slow steps to get everything back together again. You’re completely right that you need to start with getting hold of clothes that fit you: You really don’t need the extra stress of not having clothes to wear at work! So one small step could be to get some new clothes.
And coming here every day and write posts can be another small step. To write about it will start you thinking about it again, and with that: thinking about solutions too. It’s good to write about the stress in our lives, and then getting feedback and support from others. It’s great to have others cheering you on, and that’s exactly what we can do for each other here! :D

I do know I’m lucky being at school, I’m sure I’ll miss it a lot when I start working again.
As for my hospital practice this spring; I think it’ll start the last week of January but I’m meeting my supervisor/adviser next week. I’ve just talked to him on the phone so far, but he seemed nice enough, and I think he’ll give me some reading assignments – so that I can prepare a little. I think the work I’ll be doing deals with how patients better can handle living with chronic pain, and also working with the psychological ramifications of being critically ill. So yes: scary stuff!

As for exercising – walking on the treadmill sounds like an excellent idea! Something you can do indoor, and perhaps while doing other stuff like watching TV (with headphones) or listening to music or books. Have you tried light therapy for your SAD? I hear many benefits from it.

The Christmas weekend with my mother was OK, but it’s very nice to be back home again. How is your mother doing, Ang? Did you spend Christmas with your parents, and did you enjoy it?

I’ve been to the gym doing legs today. I actually did 110lbs squats today!!! It’s a new record for me, and it feels really great to become stronger. I still miss other girls in the weight room at the gym though.
Have a nice day everybody – I’m going to enjoy my vacation and play some Sims2 and watch some old X-files episodes from season 6.

Hey there ladies. Woo I was hoping that the activity I saw was going to keep going. Yaay.

I am so tired today, just blah and bleary and groggy and want to curl back up in bed. Ang- I totally believe I have SAD too, though I've never gone through the effort of seeing a doctor, mostly because I asked work once if they'd bother doing anything to help me through it and they said no. (Like, I work in the inner most office that has no windows, and looks into the hall that has no windows, etc etc. - when there is an unused window office down the hall!) Our winter has been exceptionally grey. In fact, I think we've had about ten sunny days since Oct. >.< It just zaps me! As for the nephew thing, I tend to agree with what Mette already said. My brother married a woman who had two teenagers, and they being the spoiled angry sort, give him nothing but grief. So it's a big big decision. Just make sure that he is interested in you for you, and not as a way out of the other thing. :( Sometimes guys can be a little slow.

Mette- You really need to clue us in on your secrets of this gym going thing. Between the grey days, the freezing temperatures, I get in my car and want to race straight home. No WAY am I going to go someplace to get all sweaty and then go back out in the cold :) Though I know I would benefit SO much at this point in things, by going.

I am starting to get impatient about the last 5lbs I need to lose before finding horse back riding lessons. But I also don't want to cheat and go early because I want to teach myself to be accountable towards my goals.

In other things, my poor stomach has been off for a week. I feel constantly bloated and tender tummied. I think that my lack of good food has clogged me up a bit or something. A serious lack of fiber and veggies I guess. :( I get cracvings, but never feel hungry.

The SB diet... yah, way modified as of late. :lol: I still follow the basic 'avoid bad carbs' thing. And if they don't offer good carbs (many places don't) then it's a 'choose whatever has the least amount of those bad carbs'. To be honest though, I really can't say we've followed it much at all these past weeks. Though we really have given up on potatoes and french fries and junk.

Anyway, back to doing nothing at work. :)

It just dawned on me that today is Tuesday. Since I worked from home yesterday my schedule is all off - in a good way at least. :)

The good thing about the garden is that the property is actually part of an estate for the famiily. The newphew will be getting the house and moving in there. He is actually getting some renovations done next week so he can move out of his house. At least he is making progress. I don't doubt that he will physically be away from his house/wife very soon. The bottomline is that he has already told us (3 people) that we are welcome to do our gardens again this year. Planning for that is actually getting underway now and it is one of the bright spots of this winter.

I agree with both of you that I need to be careful about the bf situation. After he moves out we can be more public and I will be able to meet his children. Only time will tell how it goes. Luckily they are not that young and they are pretty independent. I doubt he would even have actual custody of them - just visits and stuff. Time will tell with all of that too. I'll keep you posted. For now I'm just trying to enjoy the time together and the help he is giving me in renovated my house. Did I mention that he is VERY handy?

My life definitely needs an overhaul. I agree that small steps are the only way to go. I'm going to get to the store this week then I will try to start thinking about the next step. One thing at a time I think.

mette - good luck with your supervisor. Maybe reading a little will help you feel more secure in the situation.

I spent the holiday with family, including my mother. She is doing well. She still has a little trouble with her foot (slow to heal) but otherwise she is back to status quo. She is supposed to come visit again later in January so that will be good. It was nice to see my niece and nephew. I don't see many kids around here and they are so loving and it doesn't take much to make them happy. It's a nice change.

Good job mette on getting to the gym today. Another squat record - bravo! :bravo: Are there girls in other parts of the gym? Maybe you could convince some to join you in the weight room. I think if women could see other women lifitng they would feel more secure about joining. I know I would.

Renee - are you feeling sick today or just a little run down?

I don't know that I actually have SAD but I get the symptoms every year at the same time. I haven't ever tried conventional light therapy but I have had UV lights and I always keep a lot of extra lights on in the house. I am thinking of investing in a broad spectrum light. Renee - have you ever thought of getting a broad spectrum light for your office? It's too bad your work isn't more accommodating. I am lucky to have a window but it doesn't do enough good.

Amen to Renee's thoughts on going to the gym after work. It's hard enough to stop and run errands if I have to.

Renee - maybe you could use the horseback riding lessons as an incentive to get moving. As you get close to your goal weight it is going to be harder and harder to lose without exercising. You've done so well without exercising, you could be at goal weight in no time if you were moving too. Could you try a small goal (even 15 minutes)? Could you do a videotape inside?

I also have intestinal issues when I don't eat right. Do you eat cereal? Fiber One has an incredible amount of fiber for very little volume. It usually doesn't take me more than a few days for my stomach to feel better after eating better. Exercise helps with that too - btw. :D

Enjoy your day off mette and Renee, enjoy doing nothing at work - that sounds nice too. I guess I know why there is no stress at work - there's no work. :lol:

I have a paper due by Thursday so I'm totally stressed. Better get back to it.

Hi guys. I’m back for my daily check-in. It hasn’t been that hard for me to go back to my normal eating after the Big Christmas Week Binge; I’ve had some cravings for sugar and sweets, especially at nights, this week – but I’ve done OK with my eating. So that’s a good thing.

The secrets of getting to the gym? Well, actually, studies show that 75 percent of the people exercising in the morning are still exercising one year later, while only 50 percent of the people exercising at noon, and only 25 percent of the people who wait until the end of the day, are still exercising one year later.
So maybe you could try exercising before work, and see how that works for you?
It’s also about creating habits: it takes at least eight weeks, and usually more, for behavioral changes to develop. And discipline and habits don’t just appear – at least not for me ;) – they are created and solidified through actions and performing the wanted behavior. It’s just by making yourself exercise for more than 8 weeks you will be on your way to making it a habit.
Not the magic answer you would have wanted, is it? So far I’ve found no easy solutions – but I’ll let you know if I do, OK? :D (If you find an easier way, I want to hear about it too….)
I also like Ang’s suggestion: exercising at home, maybe using a video or a couple of dumbbells.

Ang – a handy bf when you’re living in an old house sounds like a dream come true!!! Good for you! :D It’s also good to hear that your mother is doing well.

As for other women at the gym – there are some, but they seem happy staying with the machines in the ‘common’ area of the gym. Besides, since I work out in the morning there aren’t many people there, and it could be more women in the weight room in the afternoon or at night. It’s just that if I should rely on getting to the gym after a full day of work/studying/reading/doing stuff – I would never get there either. It’s just like you guys are saying. The gym is crowded and uncomfortable in the afternoon, you’re hungry and tired, and it would be so much more tempting and easy to just go straight home from school or work.

I really recommend trying to exercise in the morning: it feels so good when you’re done, and it’s still morning and you have the whole day before you, and you don’t have to think about exercising anymore that day. It feels great!
Don’t you agree, Ang? You used to run in the mornings when you were at school didn’t you?

And also: Good luck on your paper, Ang!

In the morning? >.< Oh dear that would be so awful! I start work at 8:30 so need to leave the house by 8:00 which means my alarm goes off at 7:45. I take my showers at night, so morning is just up, dress, teeth, hair, fly. It takes me like 45 minutes to actually be brain-awake though, so I can't imagine getting up at like 6am to go get sweaty and move. That'd also mean I'd have to go to bed earlier, and so it still cuts time out of MY day for doing what I want. It's so awful. I don't think this exercise thing is going to work until I stop seeing it as the enemy of fun. I am bitter towards it!! :lol:

I could maybe do a video tape at home. I've done the Zumba tape twice, and actually kind of enjoyed it, but it's hard to find room to actually do the moves and stuff as they are intended. We'll see.

Riding will be a form of exercise, but at once a week, just not enough. And once spring hits, I will have Softball too. But until then? Gah. And winter doesn't help. I used to at least sometimes, skate during my lunch, or go for walks, or bike rides after work. Can't do that when it's only 15 degrees out. :(

Well, today is another insanely boring day at work and I am getting stir crazy. At least I don't have a sweet tooth today, so I am avoiding the sweets alright for now.
I suppose I could eat my lunch early, then go do shopping at lunch.

Hmm, I'll come back and write more later.

Hey there. I'm getting my butt kicked by this paper so this will be short.

mette - what are you doing to combat your cravings? I am been eating way too much chocolate these days. I know it has to stop but I seem to have no will power. It's comforting.

I agree that the morning is best for exercise. I was able to do it before school because I had a flexible schedule. I don't think I can get up at 6am now though to exercise before work. Maybe it just comes down to what I want most. mette - what time do you get up to workout?

Renee - you're lucky you get to sleep so late. I get up at 7am and count myself lucky for that time. I think the key thing about exercise is to do something fun that also is exercise. I tried aerobics classes, for instance, and hated them so I didn't stick with it. I love to ride my bike though so it's easy to get out. I guess you could say the same thing about farming. As for the videos - if you don't have enough room just do the best you can and modify the moves. The important thing is that you are moving, not that you are duplicating them perfectly (I've gone through this too.). The key is to do something, even if its only for a short time. Do you have stairs at work or long hallways?

I guess I should heed my own advice. I didn't walk at lunch today because I had an appointment and then I didn't want to get all muddy. The snow is starting to melt and mixes with the sand. Yuck!

I wanted to let you both know that I had a long talk with ex-bf yesterday. It was nice to talk to him and I shared a lot of things with him about how I felt about our relationship and what happened. It began the closure and I really need that. Closure is so important and I never got that. He also guessed that I was seeing someone else and I confirmed that for him. He was not very happy about it. I think he hoped I would wait around forever for him. I just couldn't do that without some reason to beleive that things would be good on the other end. I'm sorry I hurt him but it had to be done. He didn't call today even though he said he would. I guess I'll have to wait and see if he truly wants to be friends and do the farm or if he was just trying to keep me around for something more. I just don't understand why I can't let him go easily. Why do we have to love the ones that are bad for us?

Enjoy your afternoons.

OK, so maybe this morning exercise isn’t for everyone…. :p

Looking for a fun exercise??? Weightlifting is fun!!! What’s the fun of weightlifting? It’s lifting more and becoming stronger every week! For the first months your strength improves really fast. And it’s fun!! Really it is!!! :D
(Or perhaps it’s an acquired taste? (heh…))

Renee – doing videos at home sounds like a good idea until spring comes around and you can do outdoor stuff! Sometimes it’s just about getting through the winter…

I get up at 6:25 to get to the gym when they open at 7 when I work out in the mornings. I get out of bed, get dressed in gym clothes, have a shake (yogurt, banana, protein powder), and walk to the gym. I work out for maybe an hour – depending on how much cardio I do (and have time for). Classes and lectures normally start around 9, so it gives me time to shower, change and eat breakfast before the day starts. The best thing about it is that when I get to class I’ve already finished working out for the day.

Ang – I think your attitude toward exercising is very good. I also think it’s about doing *something*, no matter how little to start with. Small steps, building habits, and all that – I totally agree.
And good for you that you are starting to let go of the ex-bf. It’s probably good for both of you that he knows you have moved on and are seeing somebody else, and that you’re not waiting around for him anymore. Good for you, Ang! I know you loved him, and that he cared for you too, and that letting go is hard. But it still sounds as if you’re doing well – and that you remember that you never got what you wanted from the relationship.

mette - what are you doing to combat your cravings? I am been eating way too much chocolate these days. I know it has to stop but I seem to have no will power. It's comforting.Oh yes, chocolate is very comforting. As a drug it works perfect! It comforts us, makes us feel better, and makes us feel taken cared of, warm, and safe. It sometimes seems to get associated with every good and warm feeling you have when you’re eating it. It’s not until later the self-blaming, guilt, and shame appears.
When I have cravings for chocolate I usually eat it; but I don’t eat much, and the chocolate I eat is the really dark, bitter, and sugar free type. I love dark chocolate with coffee, and it’s not a type of chocolate that triggers binging or overeating – because it tastes so rich.
Sometimes, if I don’t want to eat chocolate, I substitute the cravings with other things - like fruit, berries, smoothies, nuts, etc. What I’ve found is that for the substitute to work it has to feel luxurious and feel like a treat, because that’s the whole point for me. Carrots will not do. But smoothies made of frozen blueberries and vanilla yogurt sometimes will, and warm blackberries with vanilla yogurt sometimes will. It must feel like a treat, like a reward, like something good I give myself.
If the cravings still don’t go away, I’ll usually try to ignore them – and see if it passes. Right now – in winter - I’ll try to drink some hot spicy tea. I’ll try to eat some real food to see if it goes away. I’ll try doing something else, keeping busy.

I just became very obvious to me – writing this down - that I actually have a lot of good strategies for dealing with cravings. And along the way, I’ve sort of figured out things that work for me.
How do you guys deal with cravings? Do you do some of the things I do? Do you do other things?

Well. I went to the gym and did upper body today. And my record for the day is bench pressing a complete set of 75lbs! My ultimate goal is to bench press my body weight – but that is a long time away (besides I still got at least 20lbs to lose – so I’m aiming for somewhere around 160lbs – but that’s still more than double what I lift now). It’s possibly a goal for 2006. For 2005 I want to lift my bodyweight in squats (not too far off there! :D ).

Hope you both have a great day!

Wow benching 75 is really impressive for a girl! I remember in high school I did a weight lifting class, and it was the squats I was great at. I think I squatted 230 by the end of the semester, and the coach would always embarass me. I remember his words as if they happened yesterday! - "See fella's that's the kind of girl you want to marry, the kind that can carry the cows home!" I actually really enjoyed weight lifting in high school, but when I do stuff at the gym, I am doing it because I have to, not because I want to. Do you take a notepad with or something? That you write down what you've done, what weight and how many reps? Maybe if I documented my session I'd get more into it. But then I'd feel like a dork in there with my little notepad.

Slowly starting to get back on the eating track, and lordy do I need to. The digestive system has reached an all time slow, and things are just uncomfortable all around. To the point where I am afraid I am going to hurt myself trying to get past them. (What delicate choices of words haha!) :lol: I drink a lot of water, but haven't had veggies or fruits in literally, weeks. Maybe I should start taking some metamucil until I get better on the eating my fiber stuff.

Hoping to get out of work early. It's slow today, so so slow. And I think, maybe, if I am feeling good, and I get out of work early enough, I may try to go to the gym for a bit. Or I could rush home to play my video games. Gah. I am so bad.

Ang- I know how hard it is dealing with the ex stuff. My best friend was a guy, for seven years we were best friends, though he always wanted more. When he pulled the 'we have to be more than this, or nothing at all' I caved in and gave it a shot. Things went awful and it cascaded into a total falling out, which I don't think will ever be repaired. I still 'love' him as a best friend, so it's hard to swallow the pill that you might not be able to interact with them anymore. In time it gets better though, and you move on. Hang in there and be patient.

Mette- I think we should crown you as motivational ringleader for the time being! Reading your suggestions and watching how excited you are about your lifting always makes me want to go do it! I just need to read this forum at the end of the day, instead of the morning when I am stuck at work!

Today was one of my McDonalds breakfast days. I love their burritoes, and while high in fat, they aren't too high in bad carbs. I allow myself to have them twice a week and today was my second one. Of course, with the other issues going on, it sort of hit my tummy hard, so I am trying to guzzle the water. Like you girls said, when you are uncomfortable, chocolate is comforting and we have tins full in the work kitchen. This is very bad! :p I shall try to stay put.

Well, I will likely not check back in until Monday - so have a safe and happy new year!

I talked with my bf and we are going to check out the YMCA tomorrow. If it is 'satisfactory' then he may join with me. If we schedule times to go together I know I'll stick with it. I'll let you know how it goes.

I went and bought a pair of pants yesterday. At least they fit well enough that I am not too uncomfortable. I guess I should get at least one more and in the meantime loss some weight so I can wear the closet full of clothes I already own.

mette - you definitely seem to have figured out eating for yourself. These days I tend to give in to cravings. Now that the holidays are ending I need to remove the sweets from my house. In the past I have tried to substitute. I like this fat free pudding and I have picked up a couple of things from the SBD book. My problem is more emotional eating. When I get upset I don't employ my good tactics, therefore I am working on improving my emotional/mental well being.

Congratulations mette on the gym. 75lbs benching is great. I think goals are good for exercise and eating. What weight are you at for squats?

Renee - in the past when I've been to the gym there were lots of people writing down things. The ones who were haphazard about it were the ones who didn't look as impressive.

How about going to the gym and then going home to play games? You can do both. I just got back from a 30 minute walk. Except that my feet hurt because I am not in the right shoes, it was good to get out.

I agree that this forum is very motivational. Renee - you and I can definitely learn a thing or two from mette.

Good luck staying away from the chocolate Renee and Happy New Year.

Gotta finish this paper. See you later.

Just a short one today!

Renee – wow girl, you should really consider to start weightlifting again! You’re very strong, and doing 230lbs squats is very impressive!!! And if lifting weights was something you enjoyed – well, this could really be something you’d like.
And I *always* bring a notepad and pencil to the gym: I write down how much I lift, how many reps I do – and I follow the same program every week. This is the way I measure my progress – and it wouldn’t be half the fun without it!!
Do I look like a dork? I don’t think so actually. Instead I look like someone who takes her weightlifting serious – and you know, Jessica said something important to me when I first started going to the gym: she said that people never notice you as much as you think they do. And it’s true: they’re too busy worrying how they look or appear.
I really think you should consider giving weightlifting another try Renee – you might actually find something you really enjoy!

Ang – hope you and the bf liked and joined the YMCA: an exercise buddy makes it so much easier to get into a routine.

I’m at 110lbs for squats this week – so I’m way off Renee’s record (yet). When I started in August I did 45lbs, so I’m happy with my progress – and my goal for 2005 is to squat my own body weight (depending on how much I weigh by December I suppose…).

Talk to you both later. Wish you both a happy new year!

I hope you both had a Happy New Year. I spent a quiet evening with bf. It was nice. Yesterday was unproductive though, except for visiting my friend in the hospital. Today I'm in a quandry. I am not normally one of those people that makes New Year's resolutions but it seems that you can't help taking stock in your life at least a little bit.

Bf and I liked the Y but he doesn't really want to join from where he lives now - too far away. I'm reluctant to join myself because I'm afraid I won't go enough and I can't afford to waste the money.

I feel like I'm living too much in the moment and really need to take stock in what I want for my future, at least for this year. Things are starting to roll fast with the farming stuff and it takes time and money just to plan and who knows what's going to be happening...just so much that involves so many people and I'm in the middle. It's just hard.

mette - it seems that you have made awesome progress at the gym. The Y has nautilus machines - I don't really know what they are but they give you a lesson when you join. I guess I need to check out Krista's site again to try to make a plan for lifting.

Renee - how did things go at work on Thursday? Were you able to stay away from the chocolate?

What did you ladies do for the New Year?

How are your new years going? Today was a typical Monday. I did get in a little walk at lunch before I had a very tough talk with bf that put me in tears. To be fair, I was already emotional about some other stuff so he just sent me over the edge. Eating still terrible but a little walking better than nothing. I also went for a short run yesterday. It was cold and I wasn't dressed properly but it was still good to get out. I think I ran about 1.5 miles and then walked about 0.5 miles. The cold air and the lunch I ate prior to the run kind of made my stomach and lungs hurt.

I spent most of tonight on the phone with friends and then doing a little laundry and cleaning. I wish I could just get the gumption to clean before 10pm. What do you think is up with that? Now it's 11:30pm and I'm wide awak but have to get up in the morning to go to work. Hmmm....I definitely don't understand myself and doubt I ever will. Oh well.

How are you ladies?

Hi Ang! I’m here! I haven’t gone anywhere!!! :D

My New Year celebration was rather quiet too; I was watching reruns of Buffy when the New Year came around. .

I haven’t tried nautilus machines, but they're all about building strength, aren’t they? Did you like the people at the Y? Did you like the place? Do you see it as a place you could enjoy working out?
I think you're doing well with your exercise: *both* a run and a walk! Good for you! And remember: Baby steps, Ang! :^:

I spent yesterday with friends I haven’t seen all Christmas, so there was a lot of coffee and a lot of talking going on.
I’ve also started reading up on SPSS, one of the statistical programs we’re using – I’m trying to save my self some problems by actually learning how I best can use it. Trying to learn it properly for once… ;)

Hope you’re feeling better, Ang. Hang in there! :grouphug:

Good morning.

Today is already going better. I'm trying to get caught up on everything I didn't finish yesterday. So far so good.

Buffy sounds like a pretty good way to end the year. I never did catch the last episode of that show (or Angel). Did you watch Angel? I was just happy for the extra time off from work.

I know nautilus is for weight training but wasn't able to get close enough to see how they work. If I have to go by myself it might be safer not to use free weights. The people seemed nice enough. It's a family oriented place and fairly new so it is clean and has new stuff, which is good. I would be comfortable working out there (even though there is only one big room for men and women and for cardio (except for the classes) as long as I can figure out how to put it in my schedule. I don't want to give up too much time with bf and I have so much work to get done at house this winter (painting and stuff). I'm just torn so I'm decided by not deciding and that's not good. Thanks for the encouragement - today is rainy so I'm not sure what I am going to do to get a little movement in today. Did you go to the gym?

A day with friends sounds wonderfful!

I use SPSS at work too. I took a class on cd over the summer. It was very helpful to get me acclimated to the program. I don't remember everything but I can always go back and there are always reference books. I just like knowing what its capabilities are and aren't - it's definitely not a perfect program. Good luck.

How do you define the perfect pull-up?

Maybe I should make some goals for 2005. I'll think about it. Renee - how are you? Do you have goals for 2005?

Morning ladies!

Well the holiday sttretch is over and that means this fatchick has /got/ to get back on her best behaviour. I failed yesterday! I started off so well, as it was the first Monday in about five weeks I didn't stop for my Monday McDonalds. Instead, I picked up some Kashi Autumn Harvest shredded wheat cereal and skim milk to keep at work and I had a bowl. At lunch, I was opting for ramen because it was cheap and easy and here. (I know it's not good for you, but I am not being so picky) Well it tasted SO bad. I got through about 5 spoons and couldn't do another mouthful. I had bought it on sale at Target, I guess there *is* a difference between brands of ramen. Well it was now 12:45 and my lunch ends at 1pm and so I was out of time to go run for something new. I ended up splitting a pizza with someone, and GOD was it good. Dinner ended up being cheese and crackers, ice cream and nachos. I think that maybe it's getting close to my monthly visitor based on that menu! Good grief. I didn't go OVERboard with portions, but geez, crappy selections all day.

Today, I started off with my cereal, I will eat my OTHER kind of Ramen for lunch and then have whole wheat pasta and spaghetti for dinner. I also already talked my sister into going to the gym tomorrow, so yaaay! My goal for today is to write up a little sheet that I can keep track of my progress with, or maybe run to the Walgreens and pick up a tiny note book to use. Or maybe I will use the normal sized notebook I have already. I can keep track of my sister and I both.

It's funny because we took before pictures when we started this, and I've been hounding her to get on landing new pics now, because I know for a fact that we physically look different and I think it'd be encouraging to SEE that for ourselves. The whole ' Camera doesn't lie ' bit. It was a real shocker when we looked at our first pics. Wow. Heh.

I need to get back on track with my lunches I think. Or rather, lunches and snacks. I think I will pack tomorrow's lunch, tonight before bed. That was working well.

My new years was quiet as well, I was playing my favorite video game, World of Warcraft. It sounds icky yes I know heh, but it's one of those online games where you log in, play with thousands of other people all at once, run around and kill monsters, gain your levels, hunt for good loot and perform noble quests! Hahahaha. I play with my friend from Canada, whom I have known over ten years now, and had dated for a while. To be honest, we are still pretty soft on eachother, but we are nothing 'official'.

Work has been slow so far this week, I guess people are still crawling back into routine. Sounds like we are all stepping into the New Year and being ready to shine!

As for goals - Well, I am aiming for 130 by May1st. Which is doable, if I really stick with everything. And then. Holy smokes, I can't even describe what it'll be like. By Oct, I should get my braces off. I will be like a whole new person.

I should set more/more detailed goals. I think I'll work on that. Er, right after I put together my weight lifting sheet!

Welcome back Renee. :D

How did things go today at lunch? It sounds like you have made some good changes to your diet and good luck with the gym. Make sure you tell us all about it.

It is definitely hard to be 'good' when things don't go as planned. I find that to be a big problem - you must eat and you don't have anything healthy around. Congratulations on not going to McD. One meal at a time.

Today went ok for me. bf had dinner waiting for me when I got home. We painted and had a good time. Why I have to eat after he leaves I'll never know. Tonight wasn't as bad as some nights but still, I know I shouldn't be eating, and definitely not past 10pm.

Gotta go to bed but wanted to check in. Have a good night.

Hi guys – I’m having some quiet days before everything starts up again. I’m doing some reading, and have been trying to organize my papers, and put together some kind of reading list for the semester. The weather is bad, but that’s OK since I don’t have to go outside much.

And yes, I did put my weightlifting goals for 2005 in my signature: visible every day! :D And, aren’t they very concrete and specific? I made them easy to measure and evaluate!
I won’t have to wonder whether I actually reach them or not. (I’ve tried vague goals, like “getting healthy”, etc before, but they’re completely hopeless if you haven’t defined what that actually means for you – which I never did….). So this year I’m being very specific! :D
And one perfect pull-up: I mean one pull-up executed with perfect form. And I’m nowhere close being able to do that now.
According to Krista, a good way to start is to build up strength by doing ‘lat pull downs’ until you lift 70% of your bodyweight. Then you can start practice on the Pull-down bar. So for the first months I’m working on improving the weight I lift on my ‘lat pull downs’.

I used to watch Buffy a lot – and I especially loved the first 5 seasons. I also watched Angel, and was really sad when they cancelled the show last spring; it was still very good when it ended. Buffy never got bad either, just a little bit weaker by the end of season 7. Not like X-files – which I loved obsessively for years – that ended horribly. The last two seasons were so bad that I’ve now decided they never happened… ;)

Looking forward to learn from you how the nautilus machines work, if you decide to start, Ang. I understand that your decision is difficult – maybe it would be better to let the whole thing wait a bit?

Renee – good for you that you improved your food choices! And a big Yey for going to the gym too!
So, you were impressed by how you look now compared to when you started out losing weight? That is so great! We really do get so used to living in our bodies that we forget they ever used to look any different than they do right now. I like your goals too!

Ang – it sounds nice to have your bf helping you paint in the evenings! I’m so glad you found somebody who’s spending time with you! :love:

OK ladies – have a nice day out there today!

Morning all.

Well I came to work with a bad attitude. We got 2" of snow last night which is no big deal. The big deal, is that between now and Thursday night, we are supposed to get up to 12" more of it. My boss is a right ******* when it comes to this, and I know he won't let us leave early to avoid some of the mess. It frustrates me, because when you are talking this much snow, it means the plows won't be able to keep up and it's actually dangerous to be driving.

Last night's dinner blew up. My sister had said she was making whole wheat spaghetti, and I had a wonderful eating day up until then. Well she had ended up going out with coworkers, and would not be home till 6:30 and dinner wouldn't be set until 7:00. I had made plans with folks to do something immediately after dinner, thinking dinner would have been at 6:00 and so I had to go fetch my own food. Now, I was also STARVED because I ate an early lunch, so I drove to McDonalds and had a burger and fries. It was the first burger and fries from a fast food place since August, and I feel soooo bad that I cheated on it. It didn't even taste good. Well, ok the fries were yummy, but the burger was so nasty, and all night when I burped it up, it tasted like old rotten fish? Weird.

So back on track today. Had my cereal, I have the left over pasta for lunch, and will likely have it for dinner. We were supposed to go to the gym tonight, but based on the weather forecast, I really doubt we will risk driving through the snow for it.

Ang- If you always eat after he leaves, it sounds like it's an emotional trigger. Like maybe you feel at a loss of what to do once he goes, and you turn to food. Maybe start a routine of doing something else? Like, as soon as he goes, you take a bath? Or even better yet, maybe do some stretches, or easy at home exercises. Rewire that part of your routine.

Mette- I am so jealous of you and your taking it easy! I wanna take it easy. I like your goals too. I think I will really sit down and make out some goals with clear definitions. I do a lot of those, 'be healthier' kind of goals. Well, what's healthier?

Did I ever tell you gals, that the last softball game of the season, I hit not one, but two doubles and landed on 2nd base for both of them? I just thought of that, because I have it in my signature as a joke, but I suppose it could have been a goal. It was great, because my whole team was cheering me on and going, "Renee!! You made it to second!" And even one of the guys said, "Damn I never seen you move so fast, what's gotten into you?" - I just grinned and said, "Nothing, twenty pounds has gotten out!"

Anyway, that's it for now. Take care!

mette - enjoy your quiet time and pamper yourself a little. I'm sure you will be very busy once the semester starts.

I have been thinking about my health goals for 2005. What do you think...
Weight less than 170lbs.
Weightlifting routine at least 2 days a week
Let bf pick me up (as in lift me in his arms)
Cook at home at least 2 days a week

I could NEVER do a pull up. In school we had to hold ourselves up to the bar and I couldn't even do that. I wasn't small as a child either.

I decided to wait on the Y since I am planning on painting after work a lot of days and next week I have a friend coming. I'm not saying I want to wait to lose weight, but sometimes it just isn't the time. I walked yesterday at lunch and I'm trying to watch what I eat as best I can. When I can do more I will.

I watch Angel in the mornings as I get ready for work. I'm hoping to catch the episodes I missed, like the last one. I agree with you about X-files. I liked David Duchovny (Fox Mulder really), so when he left it was harder to stay interested. Renee - did you watch any of these shows?

Before pictures (or any pictures) can be scary. I was cleaning up some digital pics and saw what I looked like a couple of years ago - what was I thinking? A few years I saw a picture of me (don't usually have pics taken) and until then had not realized quite how big I had gotten. It is an eye opener. Renee - stay on your sister so you can get those new pics - reality checks can be positive too. :D

We're getting snow right now - it stinks. Renee - be careful driving. Maybe try to take some time to do something fun in the snow (e.g. snowball fight or sledding).

Renee - next time you want a burger just remember how bad that one was last night. Take the positive out of the situation and realize it was a learning experience. Great that you are back on track. Do you think your sister would be up for doing something in the house with you since you can't go to the gym?

Renee - if bf can get through the snow tonight I'll try your idea after he leaves. I definitely have emotional triggers. I'm thinking of bringing a mat down to the living room and starting to stretch again to regain some of the flexibility that I lost. Thanks for the insight and good idea. ;)

Congratulations Renee on the doubles. :cb: You hadn't mentioned it and I had noticed it in your signature. So you made your 2004 goal then. ;)

Enjoy your afternoons.

What would you think of starting a new thread for 2005? We're at page 12 and I thought it might make it easier, although it makes it harder to look back. Just a thought - not committed either way.

Just a quick one – I’m on my way out for the day. Hope you’re both OK in the snow.

Renee: good luck in the gym: have fun!
Ang – I really like your goals. I think they’re nice and specific, and they’re very directed towards changes in your daily/weekly routines which I think it’s very good. I’ve been thinking of making some cooking goals too: trying out new recipes once a week or something. I also like that your goals aren’t extreme, but just small changes. Wish you the best of luck!
And – heh – I like the one about letting your bf pick you up! :D

I’ve never done a pull-up either! Never ever in my life! But I’m confident that 2005 will be the year I do my first one!

And Ang: I think a new thread for 2005 is a good idea too. Go for it!

Have a nice day everybody, I’ll write more later – or tomorrow. I’m off meeting friends for the day! :D

Hope you guys aren’t snowed in or anything… ;)

I’m having an off day – not feeling very good, I don’t know what’s wrong – just feeling a bit blue I think.
I went to the gym this morning and did back and abs. I’m also still sore from my biceps curls yesterday. Then I went to meet with the psychologist who’s going to be my supervisor this spring, and that went well too, I think. The whole thing (practice, doing therapy, doing psychological work with *real* people) is scary as ****, but my philosophy this semester is to throw myself into it as much as possible. Learn as much as possible. We'll see how smart that will be... :lol:

Not much is happening here. I overate on roasted in-shell peanuts last night: it’s been forever since I ate that, and it was very good – even if I felt a bit stuffed after.
Maybe I’m just bored. Anyway – hope you guys are OK. Have a good Friday!

I'm sorry I was away. I did get snowed in on Thursday and then Friday at work I was so busy trying to get caught up. I should have brought work home on Wednesday but wasn't thinking. I'll try to get on again later but wanted to check in.

mette - I'm sorry you weren't having a good day yesterday. It sounds like things went well in the morning. What felt 'off'? Did you feel sick or was it emotional/mental? Do you feel better today?

I started our new thread. I have included this url and hope it works. See you there!

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?p=747275#post747275