Location: In Upstate Ny, where no one has ever heard of it
Posts: 32
S/C/G: My starting with is at 255
Height: 5'10
What has your weight held you back from?
Im just curious to hear others people's stories. My weight has held be back from being around certain people and never being happy though I do a pretty damn good job at hiding it unless I don't sleep which I only spend 5hours doing. Its also held me back from dressing the way I want and interacting with guys. THough, it has made me a strong person in the sense that I don't take "****" from anyone. But on the other hand, people assume to many things about me because of it. Since I had a wide shoulder and I'm top heavy people think I look menacing or play rugby. I've often been asked if I've ever been on a football team. My weight causes people to view me not as a woman but at a man which I hate it. Now that I have a goal to loose 73lbs before 2012, I want to be the girl I've always wanted to be. One step at a time.
wearing girly clothes, going swimming, having friends, having self esteem, confidence, not caring what others think, having a normal relationship where i'm not paranoid and jealous all the time. dancing...going out and having fun. i'd rather stay inside in my pajamas...
hopefully these things change for all of us once we get to our goals
My weight has held me back from taking my daughter to the swimming pool/river, wearing skirts, wearing boots, feeling sexy around my husband and feeling pretty in general. I have always been the funny friend and "one of the guys". I guess it's easier to just be the funny chick and not the attractive woman.
Last edited by chubbyhipster; 11-10-2010 at 03:43 PM.
Location: In Upstate Ny, where no one has ever heard of it
Posts: 32
S/C/G: My starting with is at 255
Height: 5'10
Amylin I know what you mean. I'm the funny chick but not the attractive one. I've also not been able to go swimming because of my low self esteem. When I went to Italy it was a whole different story. People don't care about their weight when I went to Aqualand, I have never seen so many bigger girls in bikinis is was so weird. The messed up part of it, I actually felt like a skinny girl when I was there.
SO many things for me to even be able to remember right now. I've always had incredibly Low self esteem since I've been overweight since junior high. I was teased mercilessly by kids at school and my brother and have always had trouble opening up to people and making friends because of it.
That's my big issue right now. I am a mom now and need to make some "mom friends" since my high school/ college friends and I are just in different places in life... but it's so hard for me to open up to people and let them in. I seriously have the hardest time letting myself get close with people, even online.
Also, swimming with my daughter. I forsee this being an issue in a year if I don't take care of my weight now. And God forbid, I pass my food issues on to her...
Feeling pretty around my husband, wearing cute clothes, taking pictures and not feeling like crying every time I see them, feeling "worthy" of people's attention, just in general being a happy person.
livb528 I'm with you there on making "mom" friends there are groups out here that get together with their little ones on playdates and I attempted to be a part of one but I got totally shut out it felt like high school all over again!
My weight has held me back from dressing girly I too have always been a tomboy and now that I like dresses and skirts I can't help but feel like I look ridiculous when I try one on and also feeling sexy when I am with my husband he always tell me that I am sexy but I just don't feel comfortable. And although I never thought about it but my daughter loves pretending to swim in the bathtub but once she gets older I don't want to be the reason for not taking her to the pool...I also dread pictures arrrgghhh!!!!
My weight has held me back from dressing in cute clothes. Being social. Participating in mountain biking, hiking, tennis - all the fun stuff I'd like to do with my husband. Feeling confident. Being happy and feeling good with how I look. Feeling good - I have joint problems, I know the extra weight was making me hurt more. Most of all my weight has held me back from believing in myself!
Just losing 13#, I can tell I am a little more confident, certainly more active and energetic, my joints rarely hurt anymore. I believed in myself enough to go for it and got accepted into an accelerated undergraduate program!
-wearing the cute clothes that I want to wear but cannot fit into
-shopping at some of my favorite stores because they don't carry my size
-putting myself out there in dating as much as I should because I don't want to be judged by men because of my weight
-going to clubs very often with the rest of my friends. They are wearing skimpy and revealing outfits, whereas I have far too many rolls to be seen in public in like that.
Oh my word, that's a long list. And most of it is so immature and vain and lame and I'm not proud of it.
- Being friends with very nice people because I felt like they were skinnier and prettier than me.
- Having fun at events because there were skinnier and prettier women there and I acted cranky until we went home (seriously...I told you it was lame).
- Never developing a sense of style. I'm just now developing my femininity, my own style, learning how to dress fashionably, do my hair and makeup, etc. I'm discovering that I'm a very feminine person...I LIKE making myself pretty, but I avoided all that stuff because I was so ashamed of my weight.
- I missed out on a LOT because I was so stinkin' insecure, most of that being because of my weight.
Sometimes I regret not getting serious about my weight sooner because I missed out on so much, but really, I'm just thrilled that it's under control now and I have a long life ahead of me to enjoy my confidence
hmm... it's been a long time since my weight has stopped me from doing anything i truly wanted to do, but mostly, it's just wearing cute things that i feel i'm "too fat" to wear... and maybe wearing heels without my feet hurting and wearing a bathing suit without being ashamed.
also, (WARNING TMI! WARNING TMI!!) i sometimes feel like being fat is a bit constricting in the bedroom, you know? like i can't try kinkier stuff with my boy cuz it's really uncomfortable, haha... i remember one of my exes even telling me "you know, if you lost the weight we'd be able to do that!" which was a bit embarrassing, eheh...
Being fat in high school meant I never had boyfriends or dates to school dances and I was always the friend or matchmaker. When I lost weight the first time I had no idea what to do with myself and my friends had to teach me that it's ok to be girly sometimes. That confusion also led to me choosing poor matches for my first few boyfriends because I lacked the confidence/knowledge to pick better guys.
The second time around I gained slowly and was in denial that I had been getting bigger. I was so self conscious about my thick neck that I wore my hair down every single day for 2-3 years and fretted if the wind blew it back. Makeup was always flawless and present and I felt like disgusting sh!t without it. Oddly enough one of the most liberating things about losing weight is being able to relax and wear no makeup with my hair tied back.
My weight has held me back from a lot. But most importantly it holds me back from succeeding. I always see myself as a failure for not being able to get rid of the weight.
hmm... it's been a long time since my weight has stopped me from doing anything i truly wanted to do, but mostly, it's just wearing cute things that i feel i'm "too fat" to wear... and maybe wearing heels without my feet hurting and wearing a bathing suit without being ashamed.
also, (WARNING TMI! WARNING TMI!!) i sometimes feel like being fat is a bit constricting in the bedroom, you know? like i can't try kinkier stuff with my boy cuz it's really uncomfortable, haha... i remember one of my exes even telling me "you know, if you lost the weight we'd be able to do that!" which was a bit embarrassing, eheh...
and I also agree with the sex part. With a new boyfriend, I'm always SO self conscious. I'd rather pretend I'm abstinent to avoid that feeling.
Being heavy and anti social was sort of an ugly cycle. I would eat out of loneliness and being heavy kept me from socializing. I think losing weight has mostly made me feel healthier and given me a lot more physical freedom. I'm not tired standing for several hours and hiking doesn't bother me. I also have an easier time finding clothes. However, it hasn't really improved dating for me thus far. I guess I'm not that attractive to men. I'm still not at my goal weight so we'll see. I'm trying not to lose weight for external validation.
Hi Amplify69er! Remember you are a worthwhile person no matter what your size. I personally thought losing weight would fix all my problems and I was sorely disappointed! It's made my life better, but it doesn't change things 100%.
What has your weight held you back from?
