General chatter - Dating a Skinny Guy....You? Experience?? This is a first!




ThicknPretty
05-03-2010, 04:42 PM
I never thought Iíd be dating a SKINNY guy! Itís soÖweird. Every single guy Iíve ever dated has either been the beefy, husky, football player type or just chunky or to be honest, fat. And Iíve never been attracted to skinny guysÖ

But this one? Iím kinda crazy about. And he doesnít seem repulsed by my weight butÖI kind of get the feeling that he likes me in SPITE of my weight, you know what I mean? The guys Iíve dated before actually preferred my body type and I was able to feel safe and accepted in the relationship. The one Iím with now (Matt), tells me Iím beautiful and sexy and that heís super attracted to meÖbut I feel like itís mostly on a mental and emotional level and heís avoiding the weight/body type issue. (It doesnít help that he once mentioned in conversation that his ex weighed ďninety pounds soaking wetĒ. Way to make me feel like a moose!)

Iím just used to being the smaller one in the relationship. And I kind of think thatís preferable. It makes me feel safe to be with a bigger guy and also kind of makes me feel smaller, lol. This is a major role reversal for me. We havenít been very physical, but when we have kissed and touched and snuggled, I felt soooooooooo insecure and fat.

SoÖany of you girls ever date skinny guys? How did you deal with being bigger than your man? And did you have some trouble believing that he was actually into your body?


nelie
05-03-2010, 04:46 PM
I've never dated a fat guy but the body types have ranged. I've always been attracted to skinny tall guys.

My husband is really skinny, so much so that he has trouble finding clothes because most average mens clothes are bigger than him.

How do I deal? Not sure what there is to deal with :) I know he loves me for who I am, regardless of my weight.

MeowMix
05-03-2010, 04:48 PM
I dated a skinny guy when I was teenager. I didn't like it. I can remember sitting next to him and looking at our legs and thinking "my legs should not be bigger than my bf's". Of course those were all my insecurity's, he didn't seem to mind my being a bit bigger than him.

I'm not sure if I have any real advice to give other than to say, I know how you feel :)


Avezy44
05-03-2010, 05:02 PM
I have been through the same thing girl. I've been dating a guy since November 2008 that weighs 125 lbs... and he's half an inch shorter than me not to mention he sometimes can't find clothes that fit in the mens department. I have always dated chunkier guys too.. and I've struggled a lot with this one thinking I wasn't attractive or that people looked at us and wondered why he was with a whale.. Not to mention that my friend made a comment when we first started dating that I could squish him like a bug during "fun time"... But as much as he cares about me.. he doesn't pretend like my weight isn't an issue.. So, I can be open with him about my insecurities.. My point is, Talk to him. Tell him how you feel about your weight and make him aware of what you're going through.. He may not understand from experience.. but opening up about that sort of thing also shows how much you do care about and trust him. :) Good luck on your weightloss and I hope this helps :)

GradPhase
05-03-2010, 05:04 PM
My guy is SUPER skinny-lean, and it's really hard to find shirts and jeans for him, too. We tend to have to shop at the more flamboyant stores (which he's not nearly as stoked as I am about, hehe). When we first started dating I was really shy and uncomfortable about being bigger than him (and his legs being so much skinnier than mine!), but now, most days - everything feels *perfect* with us! He makes me feel beautiful -all- the time. If anything, he's more insecure about his body type, I think, because he always wanted to be the beefy football type :) I have my days where I just feel chubby and he doesn't understand it - but he's always super supportive anyways. Skinny guys rock :)

JennieLovesKisses
05-03-2010, 05:06 PM
My ex boyfriend was bigger than me for the most part, until I ended up gaining weight. I also felt a bit better at that time because he preferred me being bigger, he hated that I was skinny-er.

My Current boyfriend is 160ish pounds and 5'10" so hes 40lbs lighter than me and he looks fit even though he doesn't do much. I'm comfortable with him, but there are certain things that I still have issues with; Like him picking me up and stuff like that. I've kind of always preferred bigger guys because of the whole me being smaller thing, but I am psychically attracted to skinny guys hands down. I love my bf's body and almost feel lucky as **** that I'm with him, he always says HE's the lucky one! He's been really supportive of me and my weight loss. he liked me when I was a heavier so I'm not really worried about him NOT liking my body. His ex was a little on the heavy side too, not obese but overweight. I told him how "I" wanted to look eventually and he just wants me to be happy with myself. And this might be TMI but since we are on the subject of Skinny guys (lol) I can say as far as things in the bedroom going, its a lot easier and so much more you can do! ;)

Katieee
05-03-2010, 05:56 PM
My boyfriend is 5'8 and 135 pounds, he's thin but not too skinny.

CanadianCutie
05-03-2010, 06:16 PM
My boyfriend is the same height as me, and is weighs around 165. So he's not skinny, but he's not "big" either. He's the smallest guy weight wise that I've dated, and the best. As I stated in another post he hadn't dated a bigger girl before, but he's always telling me I'm beautiful and sexy. I have to agree with JennieLovesKisses on the bedroom front. And added bonus the more I lose, the more flexible I get.

Tomato
05-03-2010, 06:45 PM
I have never dated a skinny guy - not because I don't like them, fate simply did not send one my way.
You did not say how long you have been with Matt but since you mentioned you haven't been overly physical I am guessing this is a fairly new relationship. I don't think that at your height you don't have to feel insecure with 174 lbs .... I swear we often get ourselves worked up over nothing. He is with you so he obviously likes you, regardless of what his ex weighed. What do you know, maybe he found her too thin.
You would be surprised but a lot of men actually do like a woman with curves. Last year, I met a guy through an online dating site and we emailed each other very extensively for aobut 2 months prior to meeting in person. We have seen pictures of each other. I was very disappointed to find out that I was TOO THIN for him. (he did not say that out loud but I knew enough from his emails and his hints etc. Also, I was too obsessed with my diet (according to him - I, who is not on any specific diet except that I try to not have too many carbs, and who does not count calories) and too obsessed with going to the gym (that he spent almost every week an entire Tuesday afternoon and an entire Saturday on a golf course was obviously irrelevant). Imagine, what if he wanted to have sex on Sunday morning but I would want to go to my usual gym class?!? Oh horrors.

So I would say don't worry about it too much. I hope everything will work out to your complete satisfaction. :-)

I forgot to say that my BF is 6'4" and weighs about 245 lbs. I have seen him heavier. He is trying to lose weight and ideally, should weigh probably 220 but that would be only he built up a decent amount of muscle.

Renwomin
05-03-2010, 08:14 PM
My physical ideal in a guy is tall and beefy - muscular with a bit of extra weight. Personally under six feet tall starts feeling to short for me. From experience to me height is more important than weight. Dating someone that I feel bigger than doesn't make me feel comfortable.

I've always been told that I "carry my weight well". Sometimes I've dated guys that have really liked my shape but I could sense or divine would really have preferred me smaller. I never felt entirely comfortable in those relationships especially if I started to gain a bit of weight. I've also dated guys that LOVE curvy women and find "too skinny" more repulsive than "too overweight". It is really nice and more comfortable to feel as if you are the ideal of your mate or close to it.

Happy relationships are often based on compatibility. Attraction needs to be there, though thank goodness that is a combination of looks and a lot of other factors. If neither of you meet each others physical ideal does it mean your relationship is doomed? Not at all. Individuals connect on many different levels - intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, fiscally, lifestyle, etc.. The various aspects of our mates are important to us in varying degrees. To one individual the physical look of their mate may be the most important thing to another it may be how well they connect on an emotional level or how similar their interests are.

So you need to ask yourself how important are his physical looks to you? Also, you need to really try to determine what his ideal body type is and not what you think it is. Being direct is good, but guys don't always talk about it directly. You can get a good sense from what actresses, models, and famous people they find physically attractive. If you truly don't meet his ideal then you need to ask yourself how important is it to YOU that you don't.

Finally, I can tell from personal experience that we often need to change our own body images. This is something I struggle with personally and still haven't mastered. I've been with guys that really, truly thought a size 20+ me was gorgeous and I just can't accept it. I don't think they are lying but it was a problem with my own self image. If you can figure this one out please share the secret!

StuffedBunny
05-03-2010, 08:44 PM
My boyfriend is skinny and has no issue with weight which does NOT help with my dieting at all. He is constantly eating junk and encourages me to do the same with him. He also doesn't like even one vegetable...so trying to eat healthy with him is extremely difficult. It is honestly, aside from the obvious self blame, a big reason why I have gained so much weight. I'm not someone who can just eat and be merry like him. I have to work for a thinner self.

kaplods
05-03-2010, 08:49 PM
Most guys like women a little curvier than women like women, so I wouldn't assume he's not into your body exactly as it is.

There are men and women who are very particular about dating a specific "type" of partner (personality and/or physicality wise), and others are open to a broader range of possibilities. Just because this guy's last girl friend weighed 90 lbs, doesn't mean that she was his preferred body type - It's possible that he prefers your body type and liked her "in spite of" her weight.

Or maybe he is attracted to a wide range of body types.

My husband has dated women of all sizes. He's a big guy, but very outgoing, and women are drawn to him because he's so friendly, soicable, funny and fun to be with. I've had women flirt openly with him in front of my face, I suppose because they think I couldn't possibly be "competition" for them - they're wrong.

I've dated thin guys and fat guys, short guys and tall guys, attractive guys and homely guys. I've always dated good guys who were attracted to me. Was my personality or my body their favorite part? I don't know, I never really dug that deeply, if I dug a guy and he dug me, that's all that really mattered.

I did usually bring up weight issues fairly early in the relationship, because there are guys who only date women they are physically attracted to and if they're only attracted to a certain body type they need to know that my body type tends to do quite a bit of changing. I never felt that anyone liked me "despite my size," because I always felt that dating is always a package deal - if you don't like something in the package - you can't assume you can fix it. Peope aren't houses, fixer-uppers never work in the real world.

When I began dating my husband I was very clear that I did intend to try to lose weight, but that I couldn't guarantee it. I actually felt very reassured that he had dated women of a wide range of sizes, because it reassured me that I didn't have to stress about how he would react to size changes as I lost weight. Knowing that his physical preferences are "flexible" was a load off my mind. I always felt that most guys who dated larger women, liked them that way and were as likely (or more likely) to leave a woman over weight loss than other guys might leave a woman for weight gain.

Interestingly in my own dating experience, the fat guys were most flexible (they were less likely to have a rigid "type"), whereas the thin guys interested in me were mostly "want you fat" or "wish you were fatter" types. I never (knowingly) seriously dated anyone who had a fat preference, because it was not my preference to stay fat.

I say knowingly, because some guys will hide their preference for larger women (probably because they're embarassed). They can't hide it forever, though. A guy who sabotages (seeminly intentionally) your diet efforts at every turn, may have a fat-only attraction (or he migfht be a control freak or might just be stupid about weight loss). I also think some guys are so focused on getting the date, they say whatever they need to, in order to get you to go out with them. I certainly had guys be more understanding of my weight loss intentions before we dated than afterward. But I've also had guys say they were interested in things I liked and then after dating a while, you found out they really hate your interests, but they wanted you to like them anyway.

Guys are just as insecure as girls. Maybe not about weight, but they have all sorts of other hangups.

Regardless, you can just learn more about him and see where things lead.

PeanutsMom704
05-03-2010, 09:07 PM
Finally, I can tell from personal experience that we often need to change our own body images. This is something I struggle with personally and still haven't mastered. I've been with guys that really, truly thought a size 20+ me was gorgeous and I just can't accept it. I don't think they are lying but it was a problem with my own self image. If you can figure this one out please share the secret!


I think this is at least in part that all of us want someone to be attracted to us for more than our body types. A man who is ONLY attracted to larger women is just as hung up on body size as a man who ONLY attracted to very small women. I wouldn't want to be with a man who would have an issue if I lost a lot of weight any more than I'd want to be with one who would have an issue if I gained that weight.

Fortunately, I think those are the extremes and that most people, men and women, have a type that they tend to find most attractive but in the end, it comes down to the individual person they met. Lots of people have a type yet end up with someone totally different from that type because they are ultimately attracted to the person, not just the package it comes in.

JulieJ08
05-03-2010, 09:26 PM
I think he may or may not prefer you thinner. But if he does, it's not necessarily because he's thin. I think different guys just have different preferences.

lilithb
05-03-2010, 10:11 PM
My husband is thin and I hate it LOL He says he has he has no problem with my weight but when we fight he often says that I am fat and he prefers a women a little thinner.. Of course, I think , why don't you find one. So I really think he does think its unattractive but doesn't say so unless he is mad and as often as he has said it there must be truth to it. My preference has always been larger men, they just seem so easy going and unpretensious.

CrystalZ10
05-03-2010, 11:41 PM
My boyfriend is skinny and has no issue with weight which does NOT help with my dieting at all. He is constantly eating junk and encourages me to do the same with him. He also doesn't like even one vegetable...so trying to eat healthy with him is extremely difficult. It is honestly, aside from the obvious self blame, a big reason why I have gained so much weight. I'm not someone who can just eat and be merry like him. I have to work for a thinner self.

Aside from the veggies, which my hubby loves, he's the same way with me. He loves his junk food!! He actualy surprised me and joined me on changing my eating habbits. He's so thin as it is, but wants to lose 10lbs. He supports me and so I support him.

I never dated until I met him, and I was always insecure about my weight. Being married to a skinny guy makes me feel weird, especially in pictures. I look so huge next to him. His ex is overweight as well. He prefers that body type. Large breasts, and wide hips. He loves curves, and slowly, I am learning to love my body as well. He made me promise not to get too skinny.

Just talk to your guy. If he's with you and likes to cuddle, than he probably doesn't even have an issue with your weight. If he senses that you aren't happy with yourself, he may avoid talking about weight, just to keep from upsetting you, so bring it up first and just be open and honest like everyone here said to do. Its the best policy! :)

motivated chickie
05-04-2010, 06:16 AM
I have a few times dated guys under 140 pounds. They didn't seem to care I was heavier than them. With one guy, I lost 40 pounds and he didn't seem to care or like me better.

Oddly enough, a couple of guys I dated who were about 50 pounds overweight (and much heavier than me) made comments about my weight. It was probably their own issues, but it bothered me a lot.

Recently, I made a comment to a very fit guy about my weight and he stopped me and told me to cut the negative talk. He said my weight was "not bad." This may have sounded like an insult, but coming from this very salty and sarcastic guy, it was a compliment.

goodforme
05-04-2010, 10:59 AM
I've been married to and dated guys from a broad spectrum, but I've always been bigger than them. My ex husband was a little taller than me and just slightly slimmer than me, I could not wear one of his shirts, for example. My next boyfriend after that was skinny as a beanpole and taller than me. My current SO is much shorter than me, and about 60 pounds lighter. He could definitely stand to lose a few, but it's not for me to judge.

I want my weight to be a non-issue. I don't want a man to be interested in me "because of" or "in spite of" my weight. If he's a chubby-chaser then I lose some weight, he won't like me anymore? If he likes thin women then he certainly should never have asked me out to begin with.

I think you either like someone as they are, the full package, or you don't. Physical changes will occur, but the personality means more to me. . .

stillwagontsl
05-04-2010, 11:27 AM
I am so hung up on body image, too, but the good men I know don't care so much about the outside. A man in my life just said to me last week "You could be the prettiest woman in the world or not...I just like you for who you are. I enjoy you." It felt so good to hear him say that.

Thicknpretty, I don't think your boyfriend cares about the outside. It's your soul and spirit that he likes. Enjoy your time with him. He sounds like one of the good guys.

mammasita
05-04-2010, 11:33 AM
ThicknPretty - Well, first of all, at 5'8" and 174 lbs I'm SURE you look fantastic, because when I'm 170 lbs at 5'7", I feel pretty good.

I have always been attracted to skinny guys. I prefer tall and skinny, but have been with men that are the same height as me.....and skinny. It makes me feel awkward sometimes, mostly when I'm down on myself, but other than that - its the person that matters and not the height/weight.

Jeez, I wish all men thought like that LOL.

jendiet
05-04-2010, 11:56 AM
my boyfriend is skinny and always hungry. I have always been attracted to skinnier men. However, he is also very muscular. He loves to jiggle my fat places...and seems very pleased when he has jiggle to play with....but he always comments on how he can't gain weight...and his ex was "90 lbs soaking wet" . His mom is also very fit and trim. I noticed his brother also dated a heavier girl...i think some men just prefer curves. I used to think if I lost alot of weight he wouldn't be as pleased with my curves, but at 145--i'm still curvy...so it doesn't matter. and he liked me then too.

i WON'T let him pick me up. because I am 40 lbs more then him. I am scared I will hurt him--even though I know how strong he is.

arnold15
08-02-2010, 04:32 AM
I think skinny guys are really attractive, but girls should not run much behind them some of the skinny guys maintain their relation however the girl is, but most of them really not they start finding our week points and try to spoil the reltion so, i recommend instead of going behind a skinny guys find a simple man who gives you the best life.:)

Natasha1534
08-02-2010, 04:53 AM
I've always been a big girl but for some reason I've always been attracted to really tall really thin guys. I have dated a wide array...from beanpole to *ahem* hefty and have felt most comfortable w/ the bigger guys as well (but the best sex was from the skinniest, LOL). Oddly enough, more of a turn on to me than height and weight is a sense of humor...if he can't make me laugh, I'm not going to be interested AT ALL.

serendipity907
08-02-2010, 06:04 AM
My bf is 5'10 and 123lbs give or take a few lbs- pretty underweight, and even now at just 130lbs myself, I feel like a heifer next to him :p

tinycities
08-02-2010, 07:52 AM
My boyfriend is around 6'2" and weighs 158lbs, a really healthy weight for his height. He doesn't look at all scrawny, but he just looks lean and healthy, I really love his physique. He does have a big appetite, and eats large portions of food, and occasionally loves to have a real pig out on junk or fast food. Having said that, neither of us really ever snack, he doesn't drive so walks everywhere, and so he's in really good shape.

I always thought I was more attracted to "beefy" or "chunky" guys but as soon as I started losing weight, I realised just how much of that was tied up into my own insecurities about feeling like "the fat one" in the relationship. When I was heavier (and commensurately more insecure about my body), the idea of being with someone slimmer than me was just horrifying (my friends of similar weight and I used to joke about how one of our thighs was the size of both of a slim guy's legs together!). I think I ended up with a few bigger guys, 1) because I know I was attractive to fewer people when I was much larger, and 2) because I felt "safe" with someone else who was also quite fat. Now that I've gained some more confidence, I really couldn't care less how my weight or size is compared to the person I'm with. (Please note, I'm not saying that larger women only fancy larger guys for these reasons, this was just my personal situation).

For starters, my boyfriend is male, so comparing weights and shapes and sizes is pretty meaningless - we're supposed to look different! In fact, I feel so comfortable about size and related issues that my boyfriend and I often joke around about it, which is great (particularly when he tries to pick me up...graceful!). I know I'm considerably fatter and heavier than my boyfriend, but he doesn't give two hoots about my weight. He's really supportive of my currently losing weight, because he feels like losing weight is something that would make me feel happier and comfortable and give myself more "wiggle room" if I want to pig out every now and then (his words), rather than because he thinks I'm fat and something I need to do to make myself more attractive. I know his ex-girlfriend before me was "scrawny", spent hours in the gym every week, never finished her meals, and wanted a boob job because she was so thin and thus had no curves. Couldn't be more different to me now, and five or so years ago I would never have said this, but that doesn't bother me in the slightest (in fact, I feel happy to be really different to someone my boyfriend is no longer with!).

SunshineTater
08-02-2010, 08:05 AM
When my husband and I started dating, he was about 130 lbs and 5'10". I was 5'3" and about 240 pounds. I felt like when people looked at us they were seeing a spaghetti and meatball.

We've been together 16 years now. He eats horribly - for a snack, he'll grab a 10 pack of Reese cups and a Pepsi. It's starting to catch up to him. He's around 165 lb. now - still no where near chubby. My biggest problem with the weight difference is that he doesn't know I'm fat. He wants me to sit on his lap (which mortifies me). When I went bathing suit shopping, he picked out a bikini (he's crazy). I suppose I love him though...I want to be able to sit on his lap and wear his shirt to bed though.

TXMary2
08-02-2010, 08:37 AM
My husband is skinny. He has no butt and stick legs, but his upper body is normal skinny. I am looking forward to weighing less than him - he weighs 174 and is 5'11"

I am looking at your weight and height though and thinking you probably freaking hot and don't realize it!!! Try not to think about his weight and build and just focus on getting to know him. If you two are meant to be - looks won't matter to either of you :)

Petite Powerhouse
08-02-2010, 12:05 PM
My boyfriend is 6' and typically weighs between 130 and 135, so even at my current weight he is technically slimmer than I am. I am also more muscular.

I have never been attracted to slim men, but I grew to be attracted to him because of the person that he is inside. And I accept that he is likely always going to weigh less than I do. It is just the way that he is built.

paris81
08-02-2010, 01:07 PM
I'm so glad this thread popped back up! I've started kind of casually seeing this guy who is really, really skinny! And I don't know if I can handle it. We've only gone out twice and are planning to go out again later this week, so it's still very early and I don't even know that it will turn into anything. But I'm really bothered by his size--partially because I'm not generally attracted to skinny types, but also because I feel like a whale next to him!

It hasn't come up at all yet, obviously too soon for any talk like that, but it just weirds me out! I guess we'll see what happens.

It does make me question if he's attracted to me, and I wonder why he keeps asking me out! I realize that's my issue, but it's a real concern for me!

bnorah
08-02-2010, 01:19 PM
I weighed 215lbs when I graduated high school and started dating a guy that was 5'11", 140ish lbs. I felt insecure but only because he was my first real boyfriend and I had always been shy. He was smaller than me but always assured that he was into me for me, and preferred girls 'with a little meat on their bones' so I went with it. Since then I have dated guys that were on the other end of the spectrum, and personally I prefer them over the skinny guy simply because it makes cuddling better! The last guy I dated had about 40-50 lbs more than me, so it was like I had my own teddy bear to snuggle up to at night when I visited him.

So it really just depends on what floats your boat. If this guy really says he loves you for you, just go with it and enjoy the ride. Is he supportive of you trying to lose weight and be healthy? If so, then that's great. You can do physical activities together (gym, hiking, bike riding, etc). Try not to let your insecurites overrun you if you are happy with the relationship. Best of luck to ya! *hug*

ringmaster
08-02-2010, 02:54 PM
I feel uncomfortable with thinner guys too, but usually the naturally skinny men seem to be more relaxed with the woman's weight. In my experiences, the bigger guys seem to want a trophy girlfriend and are more critical of weight and looks in general, I guess it's their own insecurities. The guys that workout and have muscles understandably also want a girl in good shape, in that case I don't really blame them, if I'm busting my butt working out to have my body look a certain way I'd probably look for the same.

my ex was thin, 6'0" and about 130 pounds. he could eat whatever he wanted. I'd usually eat and drink alcoholic drinks with him... and I gained 10 pounds so fast, despite all the walking around we did and all the sex, it couldn't out burn all the junk food, eating out and drinks. So that's my concern now, being able to control my eating habits with someone that doesn't have to worry about theirs.

Redredrobin
08-02-2010, 04:50 PM
My boyfriend is 6'3" and prob 150...skinny with some muscle (he is a fireman!). At first, I was very self cautious about the way I looked. He always tells me that he loves my body, especially my butt (eww, really?) We have been together over a year and I just now can walk around (very quickly) with little clothes...NEVER naked! But, no matter how often he tells me Im beautiful, sexy, etc...I dont feel good about my body...but I dont think I ever will. But he is wonderful and understanding and always knows I want to be covered up, lol....he is wonderful. I think no matter what you look like, they will love you and want to be with you if they want...dont if they dont. And if a guy remarks that you are too big..GET RID OF HIM. He is too hung up on looks!

Crystalynnn
08-02-2010, 05:43 PM
i started dating my boyfriend about 2 years ago he weighed in the 130s and i was 230, and though hes gained 30 pounds and ive lost 50, ive still got 20 pounds on him. im always insecure, but i find myself asking him what do you like about my body, he used to only say my boobs, but now at least hes moved on to my hips and my arms. i think he secretly doesnt like my whole body but hes warming up to it.
hes never said anything inappropriate about the way it looks so i dont feel too bad, but because im always thinking im fat im always thinking he must be thinking the same way.

dont worry about it though, youre a great weight, and skinny girls are harder to cuddle with :]


90 pounds is too bony!

honeythorn
08-02-2010, 06:06 PM
My boyfriend is skinny but with very lean muscle. Stringy if you like. I can't find an ounce of fat on him ! I have no idea how much he weighs, but it can't be more than 120-130lbs at a guess. His calves are the same as my upper arms! :O But he does have a very fast metabolism. A typical ectomorph. His doctor wanted to put him on tablets to slow his metabolism down but he said no. He'd rather eat crap/junk instead . He doesn't really want to gain weight or get bigger so that works for him.

Without going into too much detail, I was rather nervous of crushing him or doing him an injury when we first fell into bed so to speak ;) :o , I'm like 4 times fatter than he is ! But his stringyness and prevous job as a tree surgeon seems to have made him pretty tough. He hasn't snapped yet! :p :devil:

VeNoMiSS
08-14-2010, 11:17 PM
Ive only dated skinny guys and well built guys but the key is that they have to be 6ft or taller :) i do not like chubby guys or short guys... i figure if im fat.. i cant be with a fat guy cuz all we will do is eat :) haha. sad but true

nancymae
08-15-2010, 12:08 AM
I am not at all attracted to heavy men. I haven't ever really thought about it much until I read these posts...
but I do have a "type" of man that I am physically attracted too.


My husband is normal weight and tall same as very guy I dated. I have never been as fat as I am now but I was never exactly thin either. My weight was up and down between 160-210 for years and years.

This is my second marriage and I was 210 when we got married. I HD is 6'4" and around 180.

astrophe
08-15-2010, 01:58 AM
Well, it was early in our dating life that I surpassed DH in terms of weight even though he was taller than me and its been that way now for over 15 yrs.

Does he love me? Yes. Does he love my body? Yes.

Time will pass -- and you get used to how you fit together for hugs, kisses, etc.

A.

VicSin13
08-15-2010, 02:10 AM
My db is much thinner than I am! I am now @ 233 and he is at 153. He is about 5'6" or so and I am just at 4'11" it's a funny site to see, but not as funny as when I dated the guy who was 6'3" and probably half my weight as well. I have never really had a problem attracting thinner and very attractive men despite my weight, but my current (and hopefully last LOL) boyfriend loves me despite what I weigh. He never struggles with his weight, he could eat all day long and never gain an ounce! He said it isn't my fat that he loves, its my heart. He says that not only is my outside beautiful but that my inside is as well, and that it only makes my outside even more gorgeous. He loves my "curves" which I protest is simply well placed fat LOL and he is actually sad to see it go. He has always said that the only reason he would ever care if I lost weight or not would be if it cause a health issue. Well, it hasn't besides the fact that I am tired of being fat, so I am changing it. All he has been able to say is, "Well, if that is what you want to do, than I will support you every step of the way!" and he has, from exercising with me, to cooking meals for me, to make sure they are healthy! He's been a very important part of this journey for me, and I am grateful for his help.

chubbiegurl
02-05-2011, 04:10 PM
:)

Porthardygurl
02-10-2011, 02:40 AM
My hunny was the first skinny guy i had ever dated. I am much like you.. i was always a lover of the teddy type. In fact, i had often chosen the guys that were quite big, fat to be exact. It made me feel comfortable. But..i went through a period of time where i was dating a compulsive eater who didnt care about his weight and it made me feel guilty. Every time i watched him eat, it made me feel guilty.. i felt like i was going to gain weight, watching him eat... I couldnt deal with it anymore. But now.. im with a man who is about 130 and small boned and at my highest weight i was 292..So i felt very out of place and i thought as well, how could he enjoy me being this big..until i realized that his ex was bigger than me..far bigger..So then i wondered if it was what he was into..turns out, he has insecurites about being so small.and it makes him comfortable to be with someone bigger..See, his problem is, he could never gain weight..and therefore always felt insecure..and i always felt fat and needing to lose weight.. so it kind of worked..cause we were able to find an acceptance for each others bodies just because we understood how it felt to not only work through the feelings we had about ourselves, but also are goals of trying to get healthier.. F.Y.I. and maybe a little TMI...small guys and bigger girls..fit together like puzzle pieces in bed if you know what i mean..lol..way better than two big people in the relationship..or at least thats my opinion

Jasmine31
02-10-2011, 03:09 PM
My husband is 5'10 and ranges between 150 lbs and 165. I am 5'4 and when we met I was about 240. I have been as high as 280 and as low as 190 with him.

He loves me for me.

When I first met up with him that was my first thought, WOW! He is thin!!

My ex husband was 6'4 and ranged between 240 - 350 lbs.

So it took a little getting used to.

I think I used to be attracted to bigger guys cause I thought they looked like they could protect you better. I have since realized that isn't the case.

There are some men who are big but when it comes to confrontation are scaredy cats. There are some me who aren't as big but who know how to fight and are very capable. :)

My husband is awesome. He grew up a fighter and has lightning fast reflexes. He used to box when he was younger too. He is very strong. I always feel safe with him.

Give the skinny guy a chance!

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b13/Jadedminx/Dates/3dbbae11.jpg?t=1297368288

blueballerina
02-10-2011, 07:32 PM
my (to be) husband was quite skinny when we first met....and i was 250lbs

it did feel weird to me at first but nothing about my weight was ever even brought up until i started losing weight and all my body issues stared soaring (got down to 160..still thought i was fat) .....until then i was just giddy that i had actually found a guy who likes me for me, and not for my body (and i've been on both ends....men wanting because of my body and men not wanting me bc of my body ..) ......he has never thought of me as being fat...he still doesn't think i'm fat ..............though..since meeting me he has put on some weight :lol: .....he still has a skinny body frame though..and i still weigh more than him by about 50lbs :o


so...i think it is pretty great because it already shows a lot about him and what his priorities are like in what he wants in a woman

est1991
02-16-2011, 01:32 AM
There's a thin guy interested in me now and honestly, all I can think is that he doesn't know I'm fat because my uniform is so baggy (we work together). I like him a lot but I'm just so self-conscious because his ex was a model. I'm no where NEAR being anything like her! It just baffels my mind to know that he liked me even before he went out with his ex. I guess it's my time to try new things!

Expunge
02-16-2011, 03:12 AM
There's a thin guy interested in me now and honestly, all I can think is that he doesn't know I'm fat because my uniform is so baggy (we work together). I like him a lot but I'm just so self-conscious because his ex was a model. I'm no where NEAR being anything like her! It just baffels my mind to know that he liked me even before he went out with his ex. I guess it's my time to try new things!

Well... she's his ex and you're nothing like her! That's probably a good thing! :D

If you're anything like me, the hardest part is just getting over the disbelief that he actually likes you - and guess what: he really does like you. Accept it! Bask in it! Grin about it! If he likes you enough to let you know, he likes you. And he probably knows - and doesn't care - what size you are. Even with baggy uniforms, you can tell what general size a person is. He might even find your body type sexier than his ex's, or genuinely not have a preference either way.

RONN
08-18-2012, 06:00 PM
I am a tall skinny guy. The first time I was outlifted in weightlifting by a girl was when I was outlifted by a short fat girl who happened to be my friend's sister. I stood a tall, towering 6-foot-1 while I weighed a measly 125 pounds. She stood a mere 4-foot-11 while she weighed a massive 190 pounds. While she and I were standing in front of each other, I looked way down at her and then I said to her: "Do you think you're stronger than I am?" While she was looking way up at me, she said nothing so I didn't know what to think. I towered over her by more than a foot but I knew she far outweighed me. There was a fully-loaded heavy barbell on the floor right next to us. I had already tried to lift it over my head from the floor but I couldn't even get it above my thighs. I watched her as she lifted it up from the floor and then she EASILY lifted it up over her shoulders and then she EASILY lifted it right up over her head!!! I was almost in disbelief after what I had just seen her do. I WAS STUNNED!!! That's when she proved her strength to be far superior to mine. I figured I could easily outlift her simply because I am a male while she is a female and also because I am way taller than she is. I WAS WRONG!!! When she outlifted me, that's when I knew I WAS BEATEN!!!

Euphy
08-19-2012, 05:20 PM
My boyfriend is a good 50 lbs lighter than me. I have to admit it makes me feel embarrassed because even at my lowest weight, I weighed about as much as he did. I don't know why, but I guess it just makes me feel less feminine. Even if I get to my goal weight, I'd only be like 5 lbs less than he is.

RONN
08-22-2012, 06:19 PM
Of all groups (skinny guys, skinny girls, fat guys and fat girls), I believe fat girls are by far the most ridiculed by society. This could be why they are under such great pressure to diet. Being fat in and of itself does not mean being unhealthy. In fact, in addition to being healthy, many fat girls ARE INCREDIBLY STRONG!!! I engaged in various physical tests of strength (armwrestling, wrestling and weightlifting) against fat girls, some of whom were my girlfriends. Although I am a skinny guy, I am tall so I towered over each of the girls even though each girl weighed quite a bit more than I did. I was neither ashamed nor embarrassed to admit that I lost!!! In fact, one fat girl (my gf at the time) actually lifted me over her head!!! She and I were "play-wrestling" when she grabbed me and then she lifted me right up over her head!!! When she set me back down in a standing position, I couldn't help but blush :o!!! I blushed :o because while she and I stood face-to-face after she set me back down, I realized that I stood several inches taller than she did (a skinny guy, TALLER than the fat girl who had just grabbed him and lifted him over her head!!!). People better think twice before they decide to ridicule a fat girl, especially face-to-face. THE OFFENDER JUST MIGHT GET CLOBBERED!!!

novangel
08-22-2012, 08:53 PM
My BF is about 5'10" and 144p and I'm 5'5" and 148p. :/ I really don't like that he weighs less than me but he's much smaller framed. I'm working on it. :)

JohnP
08-22-2012, 08:59 PM
Of all groups (skinny guys, skinny girls, fat guys and fat girls), I believe fat girls are by far the most ridiculed by society. This could be why they are under such great pressure to diet. Being fat in and of itself does not mean being unhealthy. In fact, in addition to being healthy, many fat girls ARE INCREDIBLY STRONG!!! I engaged in various physical tests of strength (armwrestling, wrestling and weightlifting) against fat girls, some of whom were my girlfriends. Although I am a skinny guy, I am tall so I towered over each of the girls even though each girl weighed quite a bit more than I did. I was neither ashamed nor embarrassed to admit that I lost!!! In fact, one fat girl (my gf at the time) actually lifted me over her head!!! She and I were "play-wrestling" when she grabbed me and then she lifted me right up over her head!!! When she set me back down in a standing position, I couldn't help but blush :o!!! I blushed :o because while she and I stood face-to-face after she set me back down, I realized that I stood several inches taller than she did (a skinny guy, TALLER than the fat girl who had just grabbed him and lifted him over her head!!!). People better think twice before they decide to ridicule a fat girl, especially face-to-face. THE OFFENDER JUST MIGHT GET CLOBBERED!!!

Sorry I don't believe you're a real person. This is rediculous.

sept2012
08-30-2012, 09:58 AM
This is a funny post and something I have thought about EVERY time I stated dating a new guy. I will say I always choose the same type. 6'1 to 6'4 between 200 and 250(highest). It never really had to do with the actual number on the scale for me with them though. It was their stature that does it for me. I am tall so I have never really dated someone shorter than me. I think it kinda goes back to the whole protector thing. He is tall and big and can protect me. My guy now is 6'4. I am not sure how much he weighs and it does not matter. He is not fat or skinny. He is a manley man. Broad chest, solid legs, nice arms, good midsection, beautiful hair (its prematurly grey) and a beautiful face. I love looking UP into his face and his smile. I like what it feels like to put my arms around him and feel some solid mass and how his arms make me feel protected. He loves the way I look. He tells me every single time I see him, multiple times in a day. If I don't see him he tells me on the phone or through text... Always starts out... Hey Beautiful... or Hi Gorgeous... or something more like "you looked so hot when you walked in tonight"...(such a nice feeling and so so sweet to hear). He saw me heavier and sees what I am doing now. We've talked about what I am doing to get healtier. He says he has gained 40lbs since we met a year ago. I can not see it. To me he looks exactly the same as he did the day I first met him. So in the end I think its ok to have a personal preference in size, height, weight, stature... men have them too and if your not it for him - you will find someone else that you are right for... thats always been my thought process.:smug:

fredlr
08-30-2012, 12:19 PM
My husband is 5'10 and ranges between 150 lbs and 165. I am 5'4 and when we met I was about 240. I have been as high as 280 and as low as 190 with him.

He loves me for me.

When I first met up with him that was my first thought, WOW! He is thin!!

My ex husband was 6'4 and ranged between 240 - 350 lbs.

So it took a little getting used to.

I think I used to be attracted to bigger guys cause I thought they looked like they could protect you better. I have since realized that isn't the case.

There are some men who are big but when it comes to confrontation are scaredy cats. There are some me who aren't as big but who know how to fight and are very capable. :)

My husband is awesome. He grew up a fighter and has lightning fast reflexes. He used to box when he was younger too. He is very strong. I always feel safe with him.

Give the skinny guy a chance!

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b13/Jadedminx/Dates/3dbbae11.jpg?t=1297368288

What a handsome guy!

Dreamer2012
08-30-2012, 05:06 PM
My past two boyfriends have been of bigger build - like rugby player build and both tall. Like 5'11/6' tall. And I'm a shorty at only 5'. The guy before those two was a skinny guy and again tall! But when we were together (we weren't officially boyfriend and girlfriend), I was 125lbs so I was slim myself. Regarding build or weight, I wouldn't have a preference to be honest. Once there is an attraction there, who cares what the number on the scales is.

Justwant2Bhealthy
08-30-2012, 08:52 PM
My husband is skinny; always has been. He's 5' 4" tall and 120 lbs with his clothes & shoes on -- but, he's 122 lbs after dinner ... :lol: OK, I'm silly! ;)

I don't think it matters; we all have self-esteem issues to address (my DH said he felt insecure for being skinny). Just try to accept that he accepts you the way you are. Looking at your avatar and stats, I don't think that you are overweight at all. It may take some time for your mind to catch up to what your brain sees in the mirror though.

I think if we could only realize that if we can love & accept someone the way they are, that they can too. I know it's hard though; cuz I still fight with this issue myself. It isn't easy to undo years of insecurity -- sigh ... :hug:

Mer du Japon
08-31-2012, 08:09 AM
My boyfriend is 5'8 and 156 lbs. he is Filipino so he has smaller bone structure and is a thin guy, but he is all lean muscle. He plays a lot of soccer and runs regularly. I feel incredibly insecure next to him, I hate weighing more than him. Now I'm only about 10 lbs heavier than his body is still much more fit than mine.

Hotaruchan
08-31-2012, 10:09 AM
My current boyfriend has a pretty average build (6' tall, about 180 lbs...muscled but not jacked), but in high school I dated an absolute toothpick of a guy. There I was, 5'6'' and 180 lbs and my ex was 6'3'' and 135 lbs. He was trying really hard to gain weight because the other guys would pick on him, but it just wasn't happening. He was a sweet guy and we could have honest, interesting conversations on a million different topics, so the fact that we were so physically different never really caused an issue. At the time I did weight training for several varsity sports per year and could lift more than my own weight, so I would amuse myself occasionally thinking about the fact that if Tom laid reeeally still and stiff, I could use him as a weight and hardly break a sweat :p That was actually one of the few relationships that I've had that ended on good terms.

caliyah
09-01-2012, 09:33 PM
LOL Skinny guys have it rough too. They need a break too it's not like society is kind to them either.

If the guy likes you and wants to be with you then you should give him a chance.

Natasha1534
09-02-2012, 10:08 PM
LOL Skinny guys have it rough too. They need a break too it's not like society is kind to them either.

If the guy likes you and wants to be with you then you should give him a chance.

Well said!!! I find it odd but tall skinny guys have ALWAYS been my thing...I love them!!! :D

Leigh1986
09-02-2012, 11:13 PM
I’ve always found that a guys height is a bigger factor to me than weight. I dated a skinny guy who was roughly my height (5’5) – that felt bit weird to me, and I felt like “the bigger one.”

My current boyfriend is a lanky 6’4- while he has a skinnier build than I do, the height difference makes me feel like the smaller one.

He has no problem being leaner than me, and says he loves my "womanly curves." Which is sweet, and a big confidence booster.

I don't think these things should matter all that much...but I’m not going to lie—I do love that my awesome guy happens to be a foot taller than I am ;)