General chatter - What happened to healthy looking people??




NightengaleShane
10-11-2007, 05:23 PM
DISCLAIMER: The generalizations in this thread are describing American society as a whole, NOT the people on this forum!! :)

I'm pretty sure that we are all under the impression that most people in Hollywood are entirely too thin. I'm also pretty sure that we are well aware of how waistlines around the world are rapidly expanding. It bothers me that to be considered societally beautiful (despite all the fat around us!), you must be under a size three. That's right. Three. Today, I heard three stupid college boys within an ear shot talking about a girl who was sitting at a table across the street. She was pretty, and looked like she was a size 4-6. She was healthy looking and a bit toned around her arms. One of the guys said, "Dude, she's hot." The other two? "Dude! She's FAT!" "Uh yeah dude she is sort of chunky, like thick." The "thick" they were speaking of was MUSCLE, as she did not have an ounce of squeeze-pudge around her midsection or anywhere else that I could see! :mad:

It really, REALLY irks me when people think healthy, athletic people are "fat" and "chunky"! Healthy looking people are SO few and far between these days, anyway! It seems as if we are either THIN or FAT with little room in the middle... and despite having plenty of theories, I truly do wonder why.

I don't want to be skinny. I want to be fit and healthy! I wish fit and healthy would somehow become something people actually strive for, instead of setting irrational ideals for themselves. People always describe others as "thin" and "fat" - what the **** happened to in between? You know, the size more than half of us would be if we actually took care of our bodies? (Taking care of your body goes both ways: eating proper portions, proper nutritional value, AND eating enough to keep your body satisfied, as well as regular physical activity.)

In our sick obsession with vanity (one I've been guilty of on numerous occasions), we as an American people seem to forget that health should come first. I wish Hollywood as a whole would conduct some sort of rebellion against this standard, but instead of going to the opposite extreme and making a statement by being fat, I wish they would just embrace some healthy habits, LET themselves EAT, and realize some of their crazy 5-10 hour a day exercise schedules are RIDICULOUS.

For a brief second, I was disheartened to know that even when I reach my goal weight of 125, I won't be sexy because my skin won't be glued onto my ribs, my hip bones will not jut out inches past my abdomen, and I won't have a hollow face.

Then, I laughed at myself because despite the crazy standards American society sets, there will always be the rebels, outcasts, individuals, and free thinkers who find them as sick as I do.


leah_0600
10-11-2007, 05:28 PM
I love your controversial posts :)

NightengaleShane
10-11-2007, 05:36 PM
Awww, thank you. I'm glad to know they are appreciated! ;)


SoulBliss
10-11-2007, 05:39 PM
Provocative and timely as per usual, my Dear. ;)

ANOther
10-11-2007, 05:58 PM
I don't want to be skinny. I want to be fit and healthy! I wish fit and healthy would somehow become something people actually strive for, instead of setting irrational ideals for themselves.

Word! I was just describing in another post how Woman's Day had an article about women with anorexia, with a plum shocking before-and-after photo of a woman who wasted down to 48 # before she got help and saved her life, on the skinny scale OMG she was past looking like Supermodel, Junkie and Holocaust Survivor and looked like Starving Ethiopian, and then 2 pages after the end of the article was a preview of next month's issue and one of the articles was "Walk Yourself Thin"! "Thin" is a body type that some women are lucky enough to have naturally while others, however they try, will never get there unless they get cancer or something, but "fit" is something anyone can achieve if they apply themselves. There was a time I never thought I'd have it in me to apply myself, but suddenly I had to and found it wasn't as daunting as I'd feared; in the last 18 months I've lost 40 #, I have my ups and downs but I'm still trying! :)

veggielover
10-11-2007, 06:07 PM
You know, at times like this, you have to admit that at least those guys were striaght forward about it. One of my best friends has a crush on this male idiot. My friend is a size 16. He's prone to liking girls size 4 and under. He told my friend that to him, girls' sizes don't matter, hollywood sucks, etc. He obviously won't say it in her face to hurt her feelings, but I hate it more when they just won't tell the truth. He doesn't want to date my friend because secretely he prefers smaller girls. I don't like the fact that he thinks "fat" is over size 4, but I hate it even more that he keeps this a secret (not to his male friends, only to his female friends)

mom2mollie
10-11-2007, 06:10 PM
Another great post from Shane!

I totally agree. I know a guy who, just when he was about to get married, told his mom, "I hope (my future wife) doesn't get fat-- I don't know if I could still love her if she got fat."

I laughed so hard I almost wet my pants when I heard that. Ironically, she got pregnant on their honeymoon! Ha!

(His mom told him, "you better think long and hard about what you mean by that before you get married.")

These people who are obsessed with stick-body-image (I won't even say beauty, because I am gorgeous and I'm a size 14 right now--men do double takes in the grocery store at me, even though I'm toting around a 6-month-old) must be very unhappy, shallow people who do nothing but watch TV and read Star magazine and think that perfection MUST lie in a thin body. Hmmm, how many times have we seen these thin bodies emaciated from drug overuse or self-starvation and eating disorders? I don't think that is perfection or happiness, do you?

There are plenty of wonderful men out there who will think you're beautiful when you're overweight, no makeup on, and in sweats. Ditch those shallow teenyboppers who don't know what they're talking about. They've got it coming to them. They expect perfection, but... hello! They're usually kinda IMperfect themselves, and they will, as I like to say, "get their comeuppance" for their hyper-criticism. What goes around comes around. ;)

veggielover
10-11-2007, 06:11 PM
It just hit me- did anyone see the newest weight watchers commercials? None of the women there are anywhere even CLOSE to "fat"; in fact, they are all pretty thin!!! All of these women talking to the screen are barely over 140 lbs and it pretty tells me that weight loss is also for vanity besides health. You can tell how much it's promoted these days. Ever notice the diet supplment ads sometimes feature exotically hot women (swedish blondes) stepping on the scale? It's not like they actually need to lose weight, but many women out there like the idea of dropping few sizes. This whole thing has just become a cascade effect. I'm not surprised at all with society.

Shy Moment
10-11-2007, 06:11 PM
I am sure glad the people I know and hang around like " healthy ". I hear from them, men and woman both. How that girl needs to put some meat on her bones far more than i hear that girl isn't skinny enough.

Funny enough, thru out most of my sons life, I have weight just about what I should weigh. Only recent years I have put on all this weight.

He has always liked big woman. One day not long ago I asked him about this. He said mom you are beautiful now you were beautiful when you were thin. Its all good. I just happen to like a woman with meat on her bones lol.

Spinymouse
10-11-2007, 06:17 PM
I also look forward to your new threads, NShane!
I always know it's going to have guts.

I share your feelings.

It's crazy, especially the Hollywood thing. It seems like there is a 3-lb range of optimum acceptability on a person. A pound more and the reaction is "they're fat!" A pound less and it's "anorexia alarm!"

Just crazy.

kappy
10-11-2007, 06:53 PM
Gotta love ya, NShane! Always thought provoking.

I know of one lady had her five year old daughter counting calories and watching what she ate. Her boys grew up watching the obsession. Now they're the "she's fat!" type and the daughter is a certifiable lunatic when it comes to food, nutrition, and looking fit versus being "thin".

Have you actually seen some of these so called "thin" people in person? The ones I've seen do look good, as long as they don't move. There is zero muscle tone under that skin. So the minute they move their body is doing pretty strange things, especially if you happen to be behind them for the show! Try it sometime, see if you can see it for yourself.

redlight
10-11-2007, 07:49 PM
I don't want to be skinny. I want to be fit and healthy!

:) Me too!

JamieY
10-11-2007, 08:15 PM
I love my dad to death, he's my best friend, but sadly he's one of those men...the one whose always commenting on women's appearences and weight, it drives me crazy! But the reason he's like that is because his mother, my grandmother is obsessed with her weight and always has been. He grew up with a woman who was always striving to be stick thin and thought anything more was disgusting. He also said I hope my wife (my mom) doesn't get fat after they got married...(ugh). I'm just happy to be married to a man who loves me no matter what...I got up to 202 pounds with my first pregnancy and he thought I was the most goregous thing he'd ever seen. :) Thank you Shane for this post, you're awesome.

Robin41
10-11-2007, 08:53 PM
My goal is lean and athletic, and like a lot of women here, I have no need to be "skinny".

I do think though, that if you are going to depend on college age boys to project healthy attitudes towards weight, then you are going to be sorely disappointed. I also think that you'd get even nastier responses from college age girls. Girls are merciless.

Skinny4baby
10-11-2007, 09:03 PM
Brillant! :dizzy:It is just insane some "mind sets" of people. Kinda really SAD and kinda really SICK at the same time. Big Sigh.

NightengaleShane
10-12-2007, 10:08 AM
"Thin" is a body type that some women are lucky enough to have naturally while others, however they try, will never get there unless they get cancer or something, but "fit" is something anyone can achieve if they apply themselves.

Agreed. Some people are just not naturally thin, and look really BAD when they shrink to such unhealthy sizes. There are three body types - science has said so for years - the ectomorph (THIN), the mesamorph (medium build, builds muscle easily, gains and loses weight without too much trouble), and the endomorph (has a very hard time losing weight and is just naturally big). Not everyone can be an ectomorph ;)

I do think though, that if you are going to depend on college age boys to project healthy attitudes towards weight, then you are going to be sorely disappointed. I also think that you'd get even nastier responses from college age girls. Girls are merciless.

Girls are just b:censored:hes. I dislike a large portion of the student body of University of Florida - they are the opposite of everything I stand for and believe in. F:censored:in' frat rats.

But that's another rant for another time - back to the college boys and their attitudes towards weight... I just find it disgusting how they think 3 and under women are sexy. Guys down here are particularily bad about it (from what I've observed); I'm originally from DC and guys there aren't quite as bad about weight up there. Don't get me wrong, most of 'em don't like "fat" girls and some have silly rules like "no one over 150 if she's under 5'6"" or "no one who wears double digit sizes" <----turns out the one who said that didn't even know anything about women's sizes and just said the double digits sounded fat---> but I always saw that as "just being men" -the stupid guys down here take it to a whole new level.

I am sure glad the people I know and hang around like " healthy ". I hear from them, men and woman both. How that girl needs to put some meat on her bones far more than i hear that girl isn't skinny enough.

That's amazing. I have one awesome male friend who is like that. I used to date him, back when I was thin, though I've since discovered that he likes healthy looking girls and thought I was a little too thin when we dated but since I didn't have disgusting bones everywhere, it was all good.

It's not like they actually need to lose weight, but many women out there like the idea of dropping few sizes. This whole thing has just become a cascade effect. I'm not surprised at all with society.

Me either, just repulsed. And you are very right about the women in most of these commercials - they were never actually overweight to begin with. It just has this crazy spiral effect and keeps giving women the wrong idea... the one that says that if you are a normal size, that you must be fat and need to fit a 3 or under to be pretty.

I know of one lady had her five year old daughter counting calories and watching what she ate. Her boys grew up watching the obsession. Now they're the "she's fat!" type and the daughter is a certifiable lunatic when it comes to food, nutrition, and looking fit versus being "thin".

You know, you bring up a good point there, and so do you, JamieY. Maybe those thin-obsessed boys were just raised in an environment where their mother was constantly obsessing about her weight, along with their sisters doing the same, which gave them a pretty warped view. Most of the guys I'm friends with don't really have that silly standard, because they're not the types I associate with, but I have observed a lot of men who really ARE the "she's fat!" types.

And Jaime, it's awesome that your husband still found you just as irresistable at 202 pounds. :) I gained 50 pounds since first getting with my s/o, who thought I was just as gorgeous then, only my self esteem problems at that weight temporarily ruined our sex life and caused some emotional problems. I was just so surprised and didn't know how someone could possibly think the 175 pound version of myself was just as hot as the 125 one!

Lafayette
10-12-2007, 09:20 PM
NightShane, it's time to move to Wisconsin. Seriously. Here, a size 10-12 is the norm and a 6-8 is considered dangerously thin to anyone over 50 (a generality, to be sure, but alarmingly accurate). I can't tell you how many times I get told, even now, that I'm "looking a little thin" and they don't mean that in a nice way. My decision to skip beer and cheese is highly controversial. Oddly enough, we aren't really the fattest people in the US, we just revel in the perception... go Brew City! ;)

I think people here- at least in my area- tend to place a greater value on health than appearance. We may be a little on the heavy side but there's plenty of muscle with the fat. I blame 16 ounce curls :)

The trend is definitely changing though. I overheard a young girl complaining about how "out of control" her eating has been lately. Why, yesterday, at Wendy's, she almost had a frosty! Come on!!!

NightengaleShane
10-13-2007, 04:25 PM
heehehe Lafayette, I have 2 cousins in Wisconsin and they both like CHUNKY girls - now I know why!! They're both athletic and into sports, too...and they just hate "bags of bones." I thought they were simply out of the ordinary.

Those over 50 Wisconsin ladies would probably think I was also getting a little thin, going by that scale. I wear 6's and 4's at the moment. I don't think I'm thin... I think I'm... sort of fit. It must be bizarre to live in a part of the country where "you're getting too thin" isn't a compliment, though! Over here, the thinner you are, the hotter you are! ;)

ViolinCyndee
10-13-2007, 10:33 PM
Interesting thread! Amazing that people even call Marilyn Monroe 'fat'!

Btw.. I am also lucky.. Before I lost the weight, my husband has always said I looked 'beautiful' and was 'not fat'. Even if he was just being nice.. it's still nice to know that he wouldn't ever say that I WAS fat. He knows I would be crushed! :( My father did that to me a few years ago and it hurts--majorly!

But yeah: calling someone who is a size 4 or 6 'fat' is ridiculous!! (even though I am a size 6 and still think I need to lose a bit more weight).. HA!

ennay
10-14-2007, 11:23 AM
OK just to set off another set of generalizations. And it may not be true of the current crop of college boys because they grew up with the super duper skinny media..on the other hand it might be part of the "metrosexual" trend. Guys I grew up with werent as in to media and fashion and "the look"

but most of the men I knew who really liked super duper skinny gals when we were in college ended up coming out of the closet 10 years later..:lol: they liked girls with a body of boys! That and high fashion has always been super thin...the "look" was more important to those "in denial"

just my observation!

ennay
10-14-2007, 11:29 AM
NightShane, it's time to move to Wisconsin. Seriously. Here, a size 10-12 is the norm and a 6-8 is considered dangerously thin to anyone over 50 (a generality, to be sure, but alarmingly accurate). I can't tell you how many times I get told, even now, that I'm "looking a little thin" and they don't mean that in a nice way.

SO true...my in laws are fully convinced that I am dangerously anorexic now. Yay indiana! Even my BIL who always was SLIGHTLY a "fat girl" type ( and a tad metrosexual) is starting to appreciate more normal size women. But that is because he finally dated a girl who WAS really really thin for awhile and was horrified at dealing with her ED. It really woke him up to what it means for some women to BE that thin - the level of obsession and unhealthiness.

NightengaleShane
10-14-2007, 02:59 PM
:lol: Ennay - I've met two of those myself - those who liked super skinny girls in high school and have now finally faced the fact that they are just GAY - I guess the lack of feminine curves is appealing to them ;)

I also wonder why the metrosexual types (who aren't gay) just happen to usually also be the "she's fat!" types. Is it just because they are sooo into their bodies, so the expect the same from a partner?

Oh. I used to be one of those super skinny (unnaturally) chicks.My ex boyfriend was totally metrosexual and didn't even CARE that I practiced eating disordered behavior because I "looked hot." Of course, had he lived with me and/or dated me for longer than 7 months, he probably would have gotten tired of it and realized how unhealthy it was. We were both in high school. :dizzy:

Cyndee - I am also a size 6, 4 sometimes, and I still want to lose 15 more pounds. While saying that, I do actually think I look pretty fit, and for the most part, I like my body and am confident in the way I look. After all, I'm definitely not overweight anymore! :D AND if anyone told me I was fat right now at my current size, I'd give them an evil but confused look and set them straight: if the average woman wears a size 12, there's NO WAY that I'm anywhere NEAR fat. I'm very defensive about my body. :lol:

Pandabear
08-16-2010, 08:47 PM
Well said!! although being here in the south they llike "healthly thick juicy!" lol

Losing It 2010
08-16-2010, 10:11 PM
Great post and I agree 100% with everything said here.

I am 5 feet tall and I am comfortable at 150lbs. I feel good at that weight. The reason I have started watching what I eat was first to lose the extra 20lbs I packed on and also to ease the chaos my digestive system.

I am 40 years old, I will NEVER be a size 6 and I am okay with that, its okay to be me at this age and weight.

I wish the young people would know this way of life and quit falling into the trap that society places on us.

To go one step further for those of you all old enough to remember. At one point smoking was acceptable and everyone did it until about the 60's and slowly over the past 40 decades smokers became the target of discrimination and disgust. I feel like that we are moving into this societal way for overweight people whether it be 10lbs or 300 lbs overweight.

Ciao
08-16-2010, 10:32 PM
http://i845.photobucket.com/albums/ab15/JeMappelleSierra/Photography/Divider-1-1.jpg

I agree with you 110%.
For my body structure, I look tinier than what
I am. At 141, I feel great, I look great, and I'm
content. With all that said, WHY should I try and
make it down to 120 anytime soon? I'm still growing,
still changing, and still adjusting to my body. I have
loving support from my fiancÚ, friends, and family telling
me how great I look. WHY should I listen to society and
get down to a size 3 when I'm quite fine at a size 6 - 8?
I'll admit, sometimes it is frustrating being so close to
the 130s and just wanting to break into it. But I'm quite
content with my body size/weight and I don't plan on
losing anymore weight anytime soon. :)

http://i845.photobucket.com/albums/ab15/JeMappelleSierra/Photography/Divider-1.jpg

diary
08-16-2010, 11:17 PM
Wow - this thread was an eye opener. I live in Indiana too and have been told a few times that I could not possibly need to get that last 20 lbs. Maybe 10, they say, but not 20.

I may still be overweight, but my body seems to like this weight - I am healthier and happier than i was 2 years ago. Life is good. My body is still a work in progress.

lizziep
08-16-2010, 11:51 PM
didn't read anything that struck me as controversial- just all seemed pretty much to sum it all up. there doesn't seem to be much out right now that gives anyone a healthy idea of what they should look like, weigh, etc. we have all these "i weigh 500 lbs" stories on TLC, the biggest loser shows- and then the flipside with fashion industry, magazines, next top model, etc. there is no in between. you're either emaciated or you are obese.

Losing It 2010
08-17-2010, 12:14 AM
EXACTLY! what is okay these days? I think okay should be feeling healthy, eating right and moving/doing on a daily basis. People need to get their butts up out of the lazy boys, put the remotes down and get movin..also avoid all HFCS (well that's my personal opinion) but the rest rings true

didn't read anything that struck me as controversial- just all seemed pretty much to sum it all up. there doesn't seem to be much out right now that gives anyone a healthy idea of what they should look like, weigh, etc. we have all these "i weigh 500 lbs" stories on TLC, the biggest loser shows- and then the flipside with fashion industry, magazines, next top model, etc. there is no in between. you're either emaciated or you are obese.

love114
08-17-2010, 03:30 AM
Love this thread! I don't want to every be "skinny" either. I'd rather be fit. I want a TONED body.

Boys... =|

dragonwoman64
08-20-2010, 04:48 PM
:) Me too!

Me three!

http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/intersection/files/real%2520women%2520have%2520curves.png&imgrefurl=http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/intersection/2009/02/&h=302&w=382&sz=171&tbnid=QlIz4ELMX3JtDM:&tbnh=97&tbnw=123&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dreal%2Bwomen%2Bhave%2Bcurves&zoom=1&usg=__3CjsfoUnk108BeiPlY6acLyIAiM=&sa=X&ei=HNtuTMzwBcT6lweM6ISEDw&ved=0CDIQ9QEwBg

I see this pic all the time as an example of heavy (bbw) women who are attractive. um. I see them as average to thin.

buttons77
08-20-2010, 10:41 PM
Count me in as a healthy, toned goal rather than a "thin" or "skinny" goal!! Forget it - there ARE men out there who appreciate a truly healthy body type. My goal weight is 20 pounds heavier than what the charts say - well, the charts are wrong. I am healthy, strong, and feel good anywhere from 180 - 190 pounds. AND I've maintained those weights. So forget starvation - I'm making over my body to be healthier, not post-apocalyptic starvation thing. :carrot:

katylil
08-21-2010, 10:13 AM
This is an EXCELLENT post!!!
I've been thinking this lately too. I read an article in a magazine a couple of weeks ago about plus sized models. It made me think. So we have anorexic models and plus-sized models. What about NORMAL models?! You know, people who are fit and healthy and represent the majority of the population?!?!
It annoyed me a lot. Glad to see I'm not the only one!!

losermom
08-21-2010, 04:05 PM
Great post and I agree 100% with everything said here.

To go one step further for those of you all old enough to remember. At one point smoking was acceptable and everyone did it until about the 60's and slowly over the past 40 decades smokers became the target of discrimination and disgust. I feel like that we are moving into this societal way for overweight people whether it be 10lbs or 300 lbs overweight.

I see this happening too. Insurance companies are going to probably lead the way on this one (they do with everything else:mad:). I do appreciate how the medical community, however misguided they are, is trying to help people manage their weight.


http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/intersection/files/real%2520women%2520have%2520curves.png&imgrefurl=http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/intersection/2009/02/&h=302&w=382&sz=171&tbnid=QlIz4ELMX3JtDM:&tbnh=97&tbnw=123&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dreal%2Bwomen%2Bhave%2Bcurves&zoom=1&usg=__3CjsfoUnk108BeiPlY6acLyIAiM=&sa=X&ei=HNtuTMzwBcT6lweM6ISEDw&ved=0CDIQ9QEwBg

I see this pic all the time as an example of heavy (bbw) women who are attractive. um. I see them as average to thin.

I agree. I only wish that I looked as good as those ladies--they're toned and have lovely skin!

This is an EXCELLENT post!!!
I've been thinking this lately too. I read an article in a magazine a couple of weeks ago about plus sized models. It made me think. So we have anorexic models and plus-sized models. What about NORMAL models?! You know, people who are fit and healthy and represent the majority of the population?!?!
It annoyed me a lot. Glad to see I'm not the only one!!

As someone else brought up upthread (it's still timely even if the thread was started in 07), here in MN I am considered downright tiny. At a 6-8 I have many people tell me that I am too thin, including family members, friends and co-workers. I think that the average size of women--a 14/16 in the US, makes me look really small in comparison.

dragonwoman64
08-22-2010, 07:28 PM
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/22/t-magazine/22face-merkin-t.html?scp=1&sq=daphne%20merkin&st=Search

The F Word by Daphne Merkin (NYT Fashion Mag, Aug 2010)

The stigmatizing term “obese,” from the Latin obesus, originally meant “having eaten well” until it was reclassified by 19th-century doctors and health workers, just as “fat” was once a flattering term used by the Greeks.