Tami -- Laughing at your salad dressing as I always felt that eating a salad without a river of dressing just wasn't possible. Now I use Walden Farms which have none of the bad stuff (no calorie, no carbs, no gluten, no nothing) and I've found 2 or 3 that suffice. Hope the bad weather is followed by a rapid warming to get rid of the icy stuff. Don't miss that type of winter weather.
Which WF do you like ... I have wasted so much money throwing them away that I stopped buying them and just do the EVOO and Apple cider vinegar. I did not like the ranch, blue cheese or thousand island. The italian is ok but I wont buy it again when its gone!
Just doing a nighttime fly by as I have to drive up to the airport twice tomorrow. I have got to start charging for these taxi trips!
Tami -- I like the balsamic vinaigrette and the Pear and White Balsamic Vinaigrette. I can tolerate the honey mustard but all of them do take some adjustment to learn to think of them as having salad dressing.
SilentArctic -- I end up eating the same thing several nights, but I get such a kick out of meal plans that are in dieting books. They will mention having strawberries one day for a smoothie and then not mention them again for the entire two weeks of the plan. I find the meal plans helpful for ideas but most seem to be unrealistic in terms of remaining on a food budget.
The workman finally showed up about 11 and got the ceiling fan installed and we were able to test that and the whole house fan. Both will make a tremendous difference when summer time rolls around. He seems to think he's going to finish up tomorrow -- still has to do outside motion detector lights, storm door on front door, and a lighted door bell (that should only take about 3 minutes to install).
Off to fix supper. I need to take the PB out of the house. Have a great day.
Location: from Houston, TX—now in Maryland (Washington DC area)
Posts: 1,167
S/C/G: 351/267/140
Height: 5'3"
The kittens are really rowdy tonight—chasing each other up and down the stairs and the upstairs hallway. When our previous pair were at this age, we called them "wildeboos" (WILL-duh-booze), and now that word is back into our life. Funny, the resonances we're getting with the two earlier pairs of kittens. We especially notice the ways in which the males are alike, and ditto for the females. But Nénu is special: she's much more affectionate toward us than the previous two females. She does this thing we call "wet Eskimo kissing" where she climbs up one's body and then rubs her wet nose against the dry human nose. It's adorable!
And I've already talked about how bonded with each other they are: a LOT of their behavior, whether rowdy & loud or soft & sweet, is directed toward pleasing the other one. They truly love each other. My favorite part of their relationship is when Oscar does silly things like multiple somersaults, just to put a big grin on Nénu's face.
I'm talking about the cats because they're a part of my life that doesn't suck. I've fallen deep into a horrible world where I buy donuts and cookies, then immediately eat them, in the car on the way home. My body hates it. I hate it. These "foods" no longer bring me any pleasure: all they do is temporarily distract me from the pain in my chest.
I'm hurting really bad over this thing with Grace's parents, but I do not think a sit-down conversation would help. This whole issue is between Grace and her parents. I don't want my own emotional reaction to get entangled in their family dynamics. Grace is going to have to work hard to get free of her parents treating her like a child—a typical overscheduled child, at that. She's got music lessons & performances, Girl Scouts, swim team, and Lord knows what else. And they demand a lot from her around the house: Grace says she has to hide in her room all the time, because as soon as she emerges, her parents hit her with a chore they want her to do, including babysitting for the extremely willful 2-year-old (a cousin, actually) they adopted. Maybe Grace allowed herself to get overscheduled in order to escape from babysitting duty: she can't stand it!
I must stay, for Grace's sake, out of all that mess. I need to be patient and consistent. Which means that I've only got four days to get out of this disgusting cookies-&-donuts attack, out of all this pain, and back to my quirky but level-headed self. I'm doing my Qigong, meditating, working on collages, spending time with the kittens—basically everything I can think of to get my psyche out of the gutter. So far, nothing is helping me much. Collage feels like a chore; the kittens get on my nerves; Bob is miserable over the situation with his mother getting rapidly more demented. But the Qigong does indeed have a effect. So I'm doing my Qigong and looking forward to seeing my instructor on Thursday.
Thanks for bein' there, y'all. I can feel your support the strongest when I'm stuffing the donuts & cookies in, because I'm able to observe, for the first time, how unpleasant that activity feels. Sugar has absolutely no redeeming qualities for me. I haven't had any today. I just realized that. I feel kind of yucky, because I had three heaping bowls of muesli with cream & stevia, and didn't eat anything else. But it's a tiny step in the right direction, that I spontaneously got off the cookies-&-donuts train.
G'night, sweet dreams, and of course: peace, love, & rock-n-roll,
Woke up at 4:30 a.m. after going to bed at 7:00 p.m. last night. Today my plans are to do my laundry and between my laundry I'll do my 40 min. Morning Chair Exercises and then at 1:30 I'm gonna do my 30 min. afternoon walking dvd and then at 7:00 p.m. tonight I'll do my 40 min. Evening chair exercises as well and those are all my plans for today. I hope everyone has a great Tuesday.
Hy dear long lost friends,
I am back,
after a panik attack at the end of the year thinking I'll never lose and never get my life back on track...
Even thought about any operation methods, but it's so difficult to make up my mind, and as you need to prove success before they even consider you - I just thought I'll give myself this year and start again...
It is hard and I figure out that I shy away from most things I want to do - cause I really am too fat for that.
I've never been at that point before.
I see no end to all this and my mind is just a dark place...
but I remember there are stars...
Fiona, thank you so much for opening up and talking honestly about bingeing. I'm currently in a phase where I've got massive urges to binge every day and the urges are currently winning. I tend to get this almost panic-stricken feeling that I'll never be able to overcome it and I'll end up having to be removed from my house by a crane but I realise that's irrational. But, like you, even though I think I want these foods, my enjoyment eating them is zero. It's just to make the feelings go away. Which they do for a while, and then they're back. I know I will feel better once I'm back in the driver's seat again but at the moment that doesn't seem possible. Anyway, thank you again.
Sugar2go, sounds like you've been in this space too. Maybe part of the secret of beating it IS to talk about it? I do all my eating in secret so I think it helps to demystify things a bit. Hang in there, though. We'll get there.
Terra, chair exercises? I'm really curious - what does that entail?
Good Morning!
What a great day! Silent, Sugar and Debbie all showing up for chat! Party! (Betsy stop rolling your eyes at me.) Debbie so glad you joined us you are going to fit in great! I agree we need to talk about it when we are binge eating or overeating or whatever our demon may be. Why do we run and hide when we are at our lowest? My friends at 300+ understand and if there ever is a time when I need support it is then. Debbie I binge on sugar/carbs. What is your binge food? Sugar so good to see you again. Let's turn those never gonna happen into I am doing it starting this second. I hope I can explain this next thought... Sometimes I think I want to do things but I put up excuses (weight, messy house...) for not doing them. Once I realized I can have a clean house and I don't have to entertain my house got clean. Just like when I realized I was using my weight as an excuse not to do typical things that I felt like I should want to do but realized I really did not want to do them. (Did anyone understand that?) Anyhow glad you are back. Terra I see your face is slimming down. Keep up the good work! Fi I am sorry your life is sucky but glad you have the kitties and Qigong. I respect you for realizing this is not really about you but Graces breaking free and becoming her own person, not who her parents want her to be. You are a good Aunt and mentor. Betsy is the PB out of the house? You do not have to lose 26 pounds by Valentines just as close to 10 from what you weighed on New Years Day. Come on Betsy under 300 by 2016! You can do this, you can be a winner like the PACKERS! Tami have you tried balsamic vinegar and EVOO? I love it. Sometimes I will toss a fruity Greek yogurt with my salad as a dressing. Silent you had a regain? Stand in line... It is part of the learning process. Now stick around and fake it till you make it like some of the rest of us do. I really miss you when you are gone. (No pressure really.)
Well I am in a good mood today. Wonder if that pot of coffee had anything to do with it? Food is good. Exercise is NOT. Gotta get on that.
Hi to everyone!
Have a peaceful day.
Location: from Houston, TX—now in Maryland (Washington DC area)
Posts: 1,167
S/C/G: 351/267/140
Height: 5'3"
OzDeb and sugar2go— Welcome to the 300+ Chat thread, and welcome back, as well! This morning, I feel ready to eat on plan all day. Thanks for the support about binging: I have a book to recommend, Brain over Binge by Kathryn Hansen. (Sorry, I cannot get the Amazon link to work right.) Note that it comes in a Kindle version, too. Put "Brain over Binge" and "blog" into google if you wish to learn more about Hansen's approach. I learned so much from this book, and I'm not a "typical" binger.
But I have a lot to do today, because I lost so much time doing that binging. I have to make a collage I've got all planned out, and I also have to put up a new swap in my "Bit of..." series on swapbot. So far, my mood is good today. Wish me luck!
I'm back, it's been a long time, but I need this. I've decided that the only person that can help me is ME!
I know visiting here will help with my motivation and some friendly support!
Hi Everyone- Look forward to meeting you all!
sugar2go-I know about that dark place you talk about, I visit there, very often. Food has been my very best/worst friend at those times. I'm trying too, this is always been my struggle, maybe this time will be the last time that I have to lose this much weight!! Hope to see you on here often! take care!
Hello everyone I think I'll join in here. I need all the support I can get. I lost the weight before and then gained it all back plus some, and the past 4 years have been pretty rough for me emotionally. I met a man in the fall of 2010, married him 3 months later, and was pregnant within a month. We had a beautiful baby in October 2011... I had gained weight during pregnancy up to about 215, but that wasn't horrible... I was in the midst of losing it again until I found out I was pregnant again the following fall just before my baby turned 1. I ended up losing the 2nd baby around 14 weeks and became terribly depressed and I've pretty much spiraled out of control with my eating and binging the last 2 years since then. I also started working from home (I make toys.) And my toy business picked up in 2013 around the Christmas season. I spent almost all of 2014 sitting on my butt sewing and crafting, hardly moving. No exercise. I try to keep my toddler moving but it's hard when there is no time. Anyhow, I was getting about 3 hours of sleep a night as Christmas approached with so many toys to get out the door, and when the last day for shipping came, I said I was done. I have to take a break from this crafting. My toys were supporting the family for awhile as my husband just got a new job this summer and was still working on the start up costs, but now that he is getting paid I can stop. I need to focus more on myself and my daughter this year.
My husband has been good about it. I was at my smallest when I met him and he is a thin guy. I told him when I met him that I had just lost 100lb and he told me he wouldn't have cared if I weighed 100lb more. Well... I guess I'm glad he said that because it didn't take long to come back. I know he's tried to help me through the things that have happened and losing the baby by bringing home ice cream or cooking dinner... but his thin build he doesn't really value healthy food.
I've hit a block sometime over the Christmas holidays... I don't remember when. But I saw the scale start with a 300... it had been a long time since I had stepped on and I felt so lousy. I felt so depressed that it too me a few days to make a plan as the spiraling had to stop, and my first official weigh in (that is in the morning... the other one had been some random time of day) was on the 30th of December and I was at 298. I'm only 27 years old and was having so much pain in my knees. My first day on my new 'plan', I went for a walk on a trail with my 3 year old on the 30th. We were going down hill and there wasn't much snow at the time we got to the bottom of a rather steep hill and hit a patch of ice. I fell right on my bottom and my knees were hurting me so badly that day I could hardly get up. I panicked for a bit because we were way out in the woods and was afraid I would actually have to call one of my neighbors to come out and find me and help me get up. I finally managed to pull up on a tree and we hobbled back to the van.
My husband gave me money for Christmas so that I could buy some clothes because I'm always complaining about what I have to wear (or don't have to wear). We've been pretty poor the past 4 years and I'm never able to find anything that fits at the thrift stores we have around here so my clothes are wearing pretty thin. Also that, and I just hate shopping. I do have several bins full of nice clothing in smaller sizes though, because about 5 years ago I lost tons of weight... well, not tons... but 100lb from what my high weight had been before (260 down to 160). Anyhow, I don't want to buy new clothes at this size. I just can't stand buying the next size up... 3x... I've had enough of that. I replaced a few leggings and necessities, and the rest can wait. I'm going to at least hold off until the warm weather gets here and I'm outside without a coat on to get a couple new summer dresses and I'm hoping I will be down a size by then. Maybe I can even get down 2 sizes... kind of high hopes, but it won't be warm here until late May or June anyway so that is still a handful of months away. My husband is working away from home as of this last summer. ... there are no jobs here so he's working in the oil field area installing satellite dishes and only comes home once every 8 weeks or so... he thinks it will be about 4 years and then he can be back here permanently and will have saved for a house by then. Anyhow, instead of clothes with my Christmas money from him I bought a fitbit, and our livingroom now has a treadmill and exercise bike which I found on craigslist, and also some hand weights. Haha... I don't know what he will think about all that as I haven't told him about it in phone convos. He always tells me I'm too hard on myself so I'm hoping it will be a nice surprise when he comes home. He left again on the 28th of December and I'm down 17lb since then. I hope it's a noticeable difference by the time he gets home in late Feb or March . Maybe it's best he is working away right now because I don't have to think about how he will handle my change in meal plans. I know for myself most of weight loss comes from the meal planning... setting my portions and counting the calories, keeping my intake of wheats/grains low and vegetables high. I know the formula that works for me, and I've been on key the past couple of weeks without any real issues. I've done it before and can do it again... I just didn't adjust my mindset after getting married and thrown into a different lifestyle and now is the time to do that.
Oh and I'm keeping my profile pic from 2010 up. This was in the summer when I was becoming very happy with my weight loss and feeling great. I was exactly 100lb lighter then when that was taken... 183lb. I was running 5-10 miles several times a week, and on the days I didn't run I walked at least 5 miles, training for my first half marathon which I ran on Sept 4th 2010, and doing bellydance several hours a day, and I had just gotten a new job as the Nature Instructor at a summer camp. That is my hat which I love... I noticed this summer that it was a bit snug on my head and hadn't been in the past, so I'm hoping maybe I can lose some weight and it will be comfortable again by this summer... maybe not, but at least by next summer. Anyway I want to be back there. I'd eventually like to get to a healthy BMI but at least my biggest goal is to get down to that weight I was when I got married, my wedding ring can fit again, get my health in line. I just miss it. I don't want my daughter to remember me like this. Even the past 2 weeks I have had more energy to dance with her and run around the house with her more and the added benefit of not having to make those confounded crafts! I want this to be a good year for us while daddy is away most of the time working and I want to be healthy for my husband when he comes home and I know my mental health will improve along with my physical health. I want to be able to have more babies! My 'cycle' had returned sporadically in December after being gone for almost 2 years since I had the miscarriage, and it came again this month... so I'm hoping it will regulate and give me hope for more babies haha... I just want to be normal again.
Hi, Everlasting. It looks like you have been on this forum for a while but just joined this group. I'm only new so it's probably not my place to welcome anyone yet but glad to see you here and I hope you find the group helps you.
Terra, thank you for the links to the chair exercises. I've never seen anything like that before - what a good idea!
Ubee, would it surprise you to know that my binge foods are exactly the same as yours - carbs? I go for both sweet AND savoury but I have to admit, sweets are my biggest weakness. I wish that when I wanted to binge, I craved lettuce!
Last edited by OzDeb; 01-13-2015 at 10:44 PM.
Reason: Didn't mean to post so soon
Checking in...it's late and I haven't gotten a good nights sleep in a few days for staying up too late. Just dropping by to say I'm well and still on track. Will read up the posts I missed and post more tomorrow. Good night
