Hi All,

Just a quick post to say hello. Took a rest day from the gym because I'm still pretty sore from Monday's boot camp. Back at it tomorrow...hopefully I can find a parking place tomorrow. No personals tonight but hope everyone had a good day!

Today I felt worse than the day before: more coughing, more exhaustion, more aches & pains. It's possible that I've picked up a bacterium like mycoplasma—predictably happens to me when I have bronchitis. But I don't have time to go see my doctor and get a scrip for an antibiotic! Thursday is my app't with my Qigong instructor, after we had to miss two meetings because two Thursdays in a row were holidays. And then Friday is my night with Grace.

More pressing on my mind right now, though, is craving sugar. Not carbos in general: sugar. I would eat it raw off a sugar cane plant, I swear. I didn't have any today, so tomorrow will be Day 2 of cold turkey on that nasty stuff. Not even the cool photo of an orange Godzilla toy that I got permission to use in a collage can distract me from that craving. Arrrgggh! I don't know if I have a special "sensitivity" to sucrose, but before I went cold turkey on it the fall of 2013, it was always a major part of what I was eating. Ridiculous, but true.

Cold turkey is the best way to kick it, in my experience, so I have no choice but to put plenty of stevia in my coffee & my muesli and hope that it'll get better soon. I wish I could remember how many days it took before sugar wasn't constantly in my thoughts. No drug I've ever used, and I have used a few, gets its hooks into me the way that sugar does. I'm suffering barrages of mental imagery of sugary "foods"—with no end in sight. Yet.

At least this time round I'm making a special point of remembering how brutal this is, so I'll place a higher value on maintaining my sugar-free diet.

Good morning all. It's foggy here for the second day -- can't see across the street -- but compared to what the Midwest is going through, I definitely won't gripe about it. It's quiet on here, so hope that everyone is OK as we have a lot of posters who live in the middle of the US.

Terra --

Sam -- Glad you listened to your body and took a day off after boot camp. I don't think I'd survive boot camp. Heck, I don't think I'd survive slipper camp! Give it about another 2 weeks, and parking will magically open up at the gym.

Fi -- You poor girl. I so feel for you with the sugar cravings and totally understand them. Plus, it's not like you went on a binge of chips and ice cream and cake and the forbidden cookies. You are very strong to try and do this cold turkey, but like you said, this is what works best for you. Hang in there and hope you start feeling better soon.

The work on the house starts today (YAY!) so hopefully it will take 2-3 days to get most of it done and then another day once the fencing materials arrive. I've still got stuff to do in the world's longest garage purge, but it's beginning to look a lot better and definitely more organized.

Diet wise, I think I mentioned yesterday that I was going to start on Sugar Busters. It uses lower carb, but allows fruits as part of the plan. I definitely need to be on something where I have enough variety to keep me going mentally. Plus, I absolutely have to get the 11 pounds off since I have told Ubee to watch over me like a hawk.

Hope everyone has a great day.

Greetings!
Betsy I have been reading up on your Sugar Busters diet. Looks sane enough so I will be awaiting the results. Yes, I have one of my many eyes on you. Is your weight up to date on your profile thingy in the corner?
Fi cold turkey is the only thing that works for me. It is so dangerous for me to even have a tiny taste of it. It is my addictive drug. When you feel up to it I would love your opinion on my latest dilemma. I am reading If I Am So Smart Why Can't I lose Weight? I am stalled at the eating when hungry stage. It feels like it is working too well. I am seldom hungry. It is freaking my mind out. I know Dr Atkins said not to eat if I am not hungry. I just am really having trouble mentally not eating so much. Thanks Fi.
Hi Sam thanks for checking in.
Terra I am worried about you. I feel like you are really having trouble finding the right Way Of Eating that you can enjoy, will work for you and that you can commit to. Stay strong something will work out.
Hi to everyone!
Thanks for being here guys.

Thanks for the support, y'all! I missed my Qigong app't and I'm so irked by that. I haven't made an app't with my doctor yet, and I'm not sure I will. I'm going to snip out that orange Godzilla toy today and try to get on with my life before this illness struck. Grace and I can work on our collages together and I will sleep while she's here if need be. So far today the sugar cravings have abated some.

Betsy— If I allowed some fruit in my diet, I would go crazy eating dates and raisins. Dates and raisins are my downfall. More power to you that you can get away with eating just a bit of fruit! I don't like being such an extremist, believe you me. At least I really like stevia: stevia is saving my *ss.

Ubee— I think the trick with the hunger thing is to learn how to stop when you're just a couple of levels full—Brooke Castillo's +2 to +3. There's nothing wrong with breaking up your day into a lot of little meals. Just avoid the big ones if you can. For me what works is to stop frequently when I'm having a snack and ask my stomach if it's had enough for a while. Learning how to listen to your stomach is a big step. Even if your stomach says you're not hungry, you may notice yourself getting a headache, or some other cue that it's time to have a bite. I know full well how hard it is to eat for real hunger intead for sugar cravings. And remember that it takes about 20 minutes for anything you eat to register in your head. Go girl on the cold turkey from sugar! If I can do it, anybody can, because my addiction used to be really fierce.

Betsy ~ Thanks *Hugs back*

Ubee ~ You dont have to worry, Thanks though, I'll figure out the right way of eating.

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I woke up at 2 a.m. this morning and now its 2:53 a.m. My plans for today are do my 40 min. chair exercises and then at noon I'll do my 30 min. walking dvd and then at 7 p.m. I'll do my 40 min. chair exercises again and I also need to clean the bathroom today. Those are my only plans for today.

Good Morning!
Up early with a dry cough. Not bad just annoying.
Terra that's the spirit. This weight loss has a lot to do with ones attitude.
Fi glad the sugar cravings are lessening. Thanks for saving the day with your response. I read your post yesterday and realized one of my hungry cues is that I get crabby. Everyone has been asking me what is wrong and saying that I am not my usual self. So crabby=hungry for me. As for stopping when full I don't trust myself yet so I eyeball a small serving and stick with that. If my stomach is the size of my fist that amount of food should fill me up. Does that make sense or is it crazy thinking???
Gotta run my daughter just woke up.
Have a peaceful day.

Hello gorgeous ones! I wrote a really long post yesterday and managed to hit the back space button and it VANISHED! Argghhh!
You know the mantra about " if you do what you have always done you will get what you always get....blah blah....? Well here I am back in the zone and going to the gym (twice this week) as well as swimming last night. Counting calories which has always worked well for me. Then I am overcome by a sense of panic.....what if I lose weight and something happens to trigger my mental health problems? Well I have decided that this JUST WILL NOT HAPPEN (sorry for shouting!).
Here's why. The Charity I did a walk for last October is doing a walk in September around Stonehenge and Avebury which is just about my favourite part of England....no mountains but all that history! Previously I would have signed up.....despite the fact that it is 26 miles and you have to raise a good deal of sponsorship. Then I would have worried and fretted each night until I had made myself ill and had to pull out and eat cake. Well.....I didn't sign up for it!! I plan on doing the longer version of the one I did in October and maybe aiming for something more exciting next year when I am 50! So it seems I have had an attack of common sense! Who knew I was capable?

The other thing is that with the therapy I am having I can see how I set myself up for failure repeatedly and am learning to avoid that. The therapy is brilliant!

Ubee....hunger is a weird thing. I think we are so used to either eating when we are not hungry and/or eating when we are "heart hungry" that it is difficult to retrain!
Fi....I didn't quite get sugar addiction (savoury girl me) but my husband is an absolute classic case! He can't have grapes or dates or really sugary fruits without it triggering his desire for chocolate. He is OK with citrus fruits. Hope your chest is better.
Had to overcome my inner slob to get to the gym Wednesday and today.You know the voice that tries to keep you in your pyjamas? It is grey and wet and miserable and my knees hurt a bit. But I shut the voice up and went and really enjoyed it. Young man did 24 lengths at the pool and I did 20 as I didn't want to steal his thunder.

Have a great day. Hi to Sam, Shan, Arctic, Terra, Betsy.....um.....have I missed anybody? If so I am sorry!
Hugs
Donna

Good morning everyone. I can finally see across the street, so hopefully the lousy weather is on the way out.

Ubee -- No, I didn't change the weights because I'm still furious with myself for having lost 10 pounds in December and then yo-yoing back up 13. So, I'm going to try -- try being the key word -- to start my 11 pound by February 14 loss AFTER I get back down to 340. That's a LOT of weight to lose, but I'm in a mind game place right now. I think the eating when you're hungry approach is the right way to train your body, but very hard to do when you're the chief cook and bottle washer. Fixing meals at a regular time for everyone else but eating yourself only when you're hungry can definitely lead to a lot of time in the kitchen. How do you determine your serving sizes -- by measure or weight? I'm definitely making more of an effort to measure servings. We will get this figured out!

Fi -- I was kind of pleasantly surprised to find out I could have fruit, but I always try to stay away from dried fruits like raisins as the sugar is even more concentrated. My big downfall is potatoes although sweet potatoes are allowed on this. I'm still entering everything into MFP, and keeping the carbs under 100g for the day. That has meant going back to the menu plan and adjusting some times. So sorry you had to miss your Qigong as you enjoy it and it seems to help so much. At least having Grace over with you tonight will seem like a treat for the week.

Terra -- Don't know if it helps or if you're even interested, but using one of the apps to track your food intake can really help!

Donna -- You just seem like a new person! It's such a pleasure to read your posts and all that positive energy flowing across the miles. Sounds like your exercise routine is getting back to normal, and who knew that common sense was going to be your new best friend?! Just accepting where we are in life and being satisfied with it even though working to change it is a wonderful thing.

The workmen just arrived -- the ceiling fan in the family room and the whole house fan are going in today. These are both things that I had asked to have put in when the house was being built, and the contractor talked me out of them. I guess they weren't emergency items since it's been nine years, but since we don't have air conditioning as a rule out here, I'm glad to have the increased circulation.

I've got to run to the grocery later to get potatoes for Sunday -- which I will not eat!!!!! I'm also going to install a new shower head today and I figure that between the arm raising and swearing that will go on that will count as my exercise for the day! Have a great one everybody.

Fi I'm sorry you missed your meeting. I know how much it helps you. I hope you enjoy your night with Grace and just take it easy

Ubee My anniversary is Monday We will have been married for 8 years. This year we have been together a total of 12 years. It's kinda weird to see that written lol...I hope you are doing well and have enjoyed your day

Betsy Don't know if I could live without AC!!! With DH being so hot natured we maybe run the heat in the winter a couple of days a year lol!! Hope your organizing is going well. I will be forcing myself to work on my own organizing and cleaning this weekend. My least favorite thing to do lol

Donna Great job on going to the gym two days in a row AND getting some swim time in!! It's very sweet of you to let your boy steal the thunder!! The charity walk you mentioned is long!! I bet it's beautiful scenery though! I don't blame you for not signing up this year!!

Hello to everyone else!! I fell asleep last night before I remembered to post. I was exhausted these past couple of days with work and getting back to routine at the gym. Last night I did an hour of cardio and almost an hour of weight lifting focusing on arms. Tonight I just did cardio. I'm going to try and get to the gym early tomorrow before it gets busy plus I have tons of house work to do this weekend.

Hope everyone had a great day!!!

Hi everybody! Happy Saturday (or not if you have to work!)
It is really windy here and I have just returned from a very bracing walk with 2 of the dogs.! The river was in spate and thank heavens my 2 were too sensible to try a swim today! They were content with chasing each other through the undergrowth. I used to always need music to walk but as I am back at the gym I use my dog walking times to think and relax and commune with nature!

Sam......I am currently pleased when I manage 50 mins of cardio and 10 mins of weights so 2 hours in the gym...and you work...and have a house to run! Wow!

Betsy.....it is so nice not to feel guilty all the time. In the past few years since I had to give up work, if I began to feel better from a mental health point of view I immediately began to feel guilty for not working. This time though, I accept that after so many years of being mentally very unwell it is going to take more than a month or two of feeling better before I can think of working. I accept that at the moment my priorities are to myself, my son and my husband (and doggies of course) and anything else in the future will be a bonus. How are you coping with the disruption in your house?

Ubee......can you believe that this is me speaking to Betsy? All that angst about feeling old and on the scrap heap? I met with a lovely friend with whom I used to work. We have known each other for 13 years or so and she makes such an effort to come and see me. She is one of those people that always makes you feel valued and cared for....it is such a gift! She is 66 years old and has such positivity....more so even than when we were working.

Well today is house work(boo) and writing (yey!) Food choices are good I am cautiously optimistic for Monday's weigh-in!
Have a great day,
Donna

Good Morning!
Sam you must have been a child bride. You keep looking younger and younger with each pound you drop. Have a happy anniversary and remember to count your blessings.
Betsy what kind of shower head are you installing? What is the potato occasion on Sunday? I determine my serving sizes by eyeballing them. I have a small bowl about the size of my fist and that is what I eat out of. I have to say (hoping not to jinx myself) since I've started reading the book and doing Atkins/Grain Brain correctly I am really in the zone.
Donna I am so grateful that you are sharing what you are discovering about yourself in therapy. It is really helpful to me. One of my repeated failure triggers is expecting perfection and then when it does not happen telling myself why bother. I agree that you are a good mom for letting your son have his thunder.
Fi how are you doing? Were you well enough to spend some time with Grace?
Terra what are you up to today?
Hi shan, Bllondy, Jane, Silent, Tami,...
Have a peaceful day!

Good morning all. I think the sun came up about an hour ago, but it's a little hard to tell 'cause the clouds are low hanging and wandering around through the ridges. I think it's beautiful -- guess that's a good thing since rainy season lasts for months!

Sam -- First, Happy Anniversary! Hope your day on Monday is a wonderful celebration (even if it's one at home) of having 12 years together. Second, I think I'm beginning to see a trend here for working out at the gym that I may have missed. I, too, spend a couple of hours at the gym but realized that using an hour of it for socializing may explain why my results aren't nearly as dramatic as yours! It's ok if you're sitting there thinking: Duh, you think! Laughed about surviving without AC in SC. If I still lived in NC, the air would get turned on in March and run until some time in November! There are many things I miss about living there but the heat and humidity are not on the list.

Donna -- We're having one of those "common language separated by an ocean" words -- what is spate as in the river was in spate? And sensible dogs -- wow, what is that like? Love that you're putting yourself and family first and just not worrying about what you "should" be doing. It's another sign that you are beginning to love and value yourself -- something that I think we all struggle with as part of how we got to this point from a weight perspective. The house disruption is doable, and I think they'll be able to finish everything up next week some time.

Ubee -- The potato occasion (sounds like a very important event!) is for my brother-in-law's birthday dinner. I'm fixing a brisket and having mashed potatoes for Bill and my nephew who will be here. Then I'm making a jello and carrot salad (Bill's favorite......must be a childhood memory), roasted asparagus, low-carb cheddar/garlic biscuits, and a low carb cheesecake for dessert. The shower head has one stationary head and then one hand held. It was actually very easy to install since I took the time to read the instructions before trying to install it. Took about 10 minutes once I got in there and there was no swearing involved since I managed to do it without dropping the wrench on my foot or on the floor and cracking a piece of tile. You can run it with both heads going at once although that may result in me being way too clean. That's interesting about using the small bowl. Do you eat your entire meal out of that or using it more to measure different components? Hey, whatever works, right! Sounds like you've got your mojo back and that's wonderful.

Fi -- Feeling any better?

I had a moment yesterday in the grocery store that has given me great pride although really, I've got to work on what gives me pride! The valentine candy was out, and those little conversation hearts were front and center. Now, I could easily eat a bag of those a day between now the Feb 14, but while I have to admit that I did linger by the display and held a rather lengthy debate with myself (evidently some of which was out loud since one of the stock boys asked if I was ok), I finally got to the point of accepting that today's momentary pleasure would be followed by awful joint pain tomorrow not to mention more weight gain and a year from now I'd still be in this pickle (or conversation heart). It kind of dawned on me -- another duh moment coming here -- that I don't have trouble eating the foods that are on plan. What I struggle with is staying away from the foods that are not only not on plan but are just plain bad for me. I'm definitely gaining a newfound understanding of what drug addicts go through since several of us have commented on realizing that we're addicted to sugar in whatever form it comes in.

OK, time to get off my soapbox which with my creaky knees will probably require a ladder. I'm going into town to pick up the materials to modify the fence and the storm door and then home to do laundry and get some of the dishes ready for tomorrow. Hope everyone has a great day.

Cheers, y'all. I made it through a very long week and capped that off with wine and cheese. I'm not sure that the drinks (et cetera) stayed below my max calories for the day yesterday yet, but even my post-drinking anti-hangover carb binge was pretty minor, and now I am back on track. It helps not to have easily accessible foods in the house.

I had - hmmm. Basically 1.5 glasses of wine and then later a fancy cocktail that was just beautiful - vodka and some sort of elderflower liqueur. Then I ordered another fancy cocktail that I nursed and smelled and sipped very little of as "dessert" (I wanted something in hand, but didn't intend to drink it). The poor mixologist kept asking me didn't I like it? and I did enjoy it, I was just enjoying it differently than you usually enjoy a drink.

When I got home a made a gin and tonic (I buy diet tonic water so the damage is low). But: it was lovely and I needed it and the only thing I didn't like about it was that the going-out night was accidental. Had I known I would've run home between work and stuff and reworked my make-up to experiment with red-red lipstick, which I am trying to work up the courage to insert into my social life.

Today I will: assess yesterday's damage (I had 800 calories on the day before drinks, but also had some food when I came home because I was starving) and get back on track, clean the house, taToke down Christmas decorations, and muddle about a bit. Right now I'm enjoying a lie-in in my robe and slippers and it is noon here. I slept until 11 which I NEVER do. It was lovely.

And yes, you can call me muse.

Ubee - this doesn't really help with the hunger thing, precisely, except that it helps me to remember sometimes: I have been overweight my entire life. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I am different from normal sized people, or even: people who were always normal and gained a few (or a lot) of pounds from slacking on exercise or eating too much fast food.

I have a very different struggle than they do. When I was a kid (an overweight kid, an overweight teen) my parents always put me on diets, and then expected me to restrain myself and exercise 'willpower' by not eating the chips and the snacks that they themselves could keep around the house and eat with lunch but not all the time.

I couldn't do that. I would sneak the food, I would hide and raid whatever tin, bin or whatever contained it and stuff the evidence under the couch. It's awful to think about now (and caused alot of strife for me in the past) but to me fundamentally: I know, I cannot have that stuff in the house. Obviously, I'm not someone going 'cold turkey' from sugar or anything else. I just had cereal for breakfast. But I am aware of my trigger foods and also how my trigger foods sometimes crawl down the ladder and I take steps to plan plan plan and not go to the store hungry and to be kind to myself by not having Bad Stuff around especially when I am tender or tired or overworked because all of those situations make making good choices even harder.

Sometimes when I am eating Bad Stuff it helps for me to remind myself that it isn't going to last: whatever I get from this is going to be gone in a few minutes. The pleasure is passing.

Meh, I don't know if that helps with the struggle with illusory hunger and I don't do Atkins but I also find that while I don't mind waiting to eat some meals (especially lunch) until I am truly hungry, I also make worse choices and eat more when I am REALLY hungry - so take the Atkins advice and balance it with what you know and can do.

PS - Betsy - that is such an important conversation to have. Good on you for having it and winning it at the point where it was winnable: the Grocery Store!

Hello Ladies

Winter break ended and we are officially back to school/back to work but its been a CRAZY week back .... Between the weather, school closings, 2 hour delays, meetings and events needing rescheduled, and working late to make up for all the chaos I don't think I have been online much this week at all.

I've been on plan all week, I truly believe I will meet my February and March mini goals, and chugging along. I see everyone is doing well and those whom may have slipped are finding their way back on focus which is awesome. Lets just think the holidays are over and we should be pretty smooth sailing for a few months.

Hoping everyone has a wonderful weekend.