[astrophe]

I haven't read the whole thread. So if it came up already, I apologize.

But I started doing the asking! I got tired of waiting for people to ask me.

I really didn't worry about a "no" because how is that different than not asking at all? I'd still be alone. And I always figured HOW the person said no told all there was to tell.

If it was in a jerky way, I probably didn't want to know them anyway.

If it was more along the lines of "Oh, hey! That's cool, but I'm already seeing someone" or "I'm flattered! But I'm not in a dating place right now" and more or less decent about it I figure I at least brightened someone's day, and if their situation changed... well they knew where I was.

My DH is a bit shy and non confrontational and for him I think it was a relief to not have to ask!

A.

[claire0412]

Originally Posted by MaryOjo

I can boldly guess that you're choking/smothering them up cos they can read from your actions and words that you want sex at all cost and as such, they back off .

I seriously do not know any men (nice guys or otherwise) who would back away from a girl because they think she wants to have sex with them. Seriously, none. A serious relationship is another thing, I know loads of men who are scared off by women who want to declare they are in a relationship after a few weeks, when they'd prefer to see how it goes. I don't personally see anything wrong with that either (as long as it is weeks, not months)

To the OP, I'd say get yourself out there! Do the asking! Lots of my friends refuse to do this, but I did it and it worked out for me

[my2cats]

Happened on this thread and thought I would do a little thread resurrection and update.. I actually went on a date earlier this week, and going on another date with a guy tonight. I'm not madly in love with either of them, but I did enjoy the first date and am making plans to see him again. I'm a little worried about the date tonight since I found out via FB we have somewhat.. incompatible.. political beliefs, but since he knows people I'm friends with I want to keep things pleasant and it should be a good time. But I don't see any long-term potential and I hate to lead any body on.

Anyway.. I guess things are looking up. Still not in a serious relationship by a long shot, but getting much better at trying.

What changed in the past 8 months? In a nutshell I became friends with a great, hilarious guy who was already taken (engaged) when we met. I'm admittedly a little heartbroken over it but he was always very complimentary of me while being a perfect gentleman, and seemed to find me entertaining, attractive, etc, all of which really helped my confidence.

So with that experience bolstering my confidence.. I started going out to random Meetups just to make friends and meet people. And that has led into dating. We'll see how it goes.. now to get over the first guy entirely.

[pixelllate]

Ohhh I'm def a single chick-23...NO romantic experience-not even hand holding-I do find that the men in general where I happen to live prefer a body type slimmer than mine, and heck, at times, even my ethnic background.
But I too want to be physically as well as emotionally attracted to a guy - its a gut reaction to me (I like less super muscular men, and my friends like biiig muscles for example), so a guy who isn't physically attracted to me can't help it then so be it- I want a boyfriend who also finds me at least to some degree attractive. Now some people only care about the emotional attraction, while others also want to be physically attracted to someone as well.
Ive seen women of all sizes who have successful love lives, but I am not guarenteeing anything-as negative as it may sound, yes with weight loss...you might have more success on OKC (or might not). Its just one of those things where you never really know! Just keep yourself open and please don't let it make you too sad! =)
I get this really huge sinking feeling everytime I look at a pair of jeans, and what carries me through is me thinking that in the bigger picture, I am doing this for my health-man or no man, jeans or no jeans, so I keep on going.

[aBroadAbroad]

Great thread. I am going to throw in my 2 cents...I honestly have no idea how this happened, but I now have more men than I know what to do with. lmao! I feel like I am constantly juggling 5 men... ok I sound like a massive slut but I swear I'm not! LOL! I am almost 23 and when I turned 22 I had NO experience whatsoever! In anything! I'm not sure if its the fact that I've lost weight or if its just the fact that I meet different people almost everyday. I think its also that I am so much more outgoing now because I am so happy! I am having the best year of my life and I think people are drawn to that... I could be completely wrong but nevertheless, I am enjoying the HECK out of the attention/new experiences/meeting new people!! I never had a bf in HS and my mom used to say "it will be completely different in college...." and it wasnt. No bf in college either. When I graduated I think I just said "eff it. Im going to concentrate on myself and my goals" stopped looking and just concentrated on having fun... and I've had probably more than 10 men interested in me in the last 2 months lol.... they will come! I promise!

[SarahFairhope]

I'd suggest getting involved in something YOU really enjoy. I'm a huge nerd, so I met my husband in the process of doing nerdy things. The nice thing about that is that you're starting off the relationship with some common ground. I think thats whats most important.

Have you tried Meetup (dotcome)? Its a website that has different activity groups. So if you like board gaming or reading books or talking politics, its got different groups you can join and meet people!