I finally made one of the challenges!! Yippee!! Now it's on to the Memorial Day challenge.
My contract with myself is working well so far. Of course, I'm only a third of the way through it, but I've been really pleased. The other day I had to quit eating in the middle of a meal to meet the "no eating after 7:30 pm" part, but that didn't bother me that much because I'd just gotten a temporary crown that day and my mouth kind of hurt.
Anyway, I was so thrilled when I stepped on that scale this morning!
Because I won't be home on Tuesday, I'm weighing in today instead. Not only did I make my Easter goal, I've made my birthday goal, and my final goal. I have lost 105 pounds, my BMI has gone from a 36.9 to a 21.4, a skintight 24W to 10's and 12's in clothing. I've lost 12 inches on my waist, and almost 13 on my hips, and 9 up top. I feel much better, haven't had a problem with extra skin. It's taken 22 months to lose the weight and it's been so worth it. I wish I had done it sooner, but I'm so glad I've done it slowly and safely, and without "dieting." Now, my challenge will be maintainence and also making myself stop losing. That's a problem? Yes, I still see myself as fat, see fat on me, even though I know I'm thin now. That seems like anorexic thinking, and I don't want to be like that. I have a sister who I think is anorexic even though she's managed to get back to a healthy weight range. It's not a good thing. I want to maintain at 145. But, for today, I'm saying Yippee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You did it! Congratulations!! You've done such a super job. You're an inspiration to everyone here.
So, how are you going to celebrate? You've got to do something incredibly fantastic for yourself.
Fat can definitely be a mindset. I was in an eating disorder hospital where there were lots of anorexic women who thought they were too fat. One of the things we had to do every day was give ourselves positive affirmations. Start now by telling yourself that you are at your perfect weight right now, and that you look wonderful. Give yourself permission to eat a bite of something that perhaps you haven't eaten for 22 months.
I know that there are books on the subject and maybe you can find one in a library. But it's really important to quit thinking that you're still fat. I can't stress enough how many women in that hospital had major health problems because of the stuff they did to their bodies just because they thought they were fat.
I think that getting yourself out of your living situation will be a major help. People with anorexia feel like they can't control the rest of their life, but they can control their food intake so that's what they do. Gaining control of the rest of their lives (setting boundaries, walking away from bad situations, surrounding themselves with supportive friends) was what got them to stop controlling their lives by limiting their food intake.
Hope I haven't lectured too much. I will apologize in advance.
