I tried to pm this to Belle, but it's too long, sorry. Now everyone can hear about the compelling romantic misadventures of my early twenties! That's sarcasm.
Belle-
General sentiment is that you should get rid of the guy and although it may be emotional, I have to agree.
I dated a guy about three years ago who would flipflop between being very affectionate and darling and then, instantly, he'd be very cold, very distant and sometimes really mean. I put up with the crappy times in desperate hope that when he decided to be nice again, it would last. In the meantime I would absolutely obsess over the details of our relationship and ruthlessly criticize everything about myself. On some level, I believed that it really was all my fault and that my shortcomings made him unhappy. I wasn't very comfortable with him, but I thought very highly of him and wanted him to approve of me. Looking back, it was absolute torture. He eventually dumped me and it was, admittedly, hard to get over. But I can say without a doubt that he did me a HUGE favor. He was never going to change and I was so wrapped up in getting him to love me that I had lost all sense of autonomy and self-respect. The funny thing about it now is that I never knew him well enough to be sure if I even liked him as a fellow person or if I would even want him for a friend. Most distinctly, I realized later that I didn't even respect him and I never want to be so attached to anyone who I can't trust to conduct themselves according to the basic tenets of decency.
I was really sad when he left, it's true. But it was more the staggering lack of self-identity, it was sort of shocking. I was so utterly disgusted with myself for the concessions I had made to retain the affection of someone so obviously uninterested in my feelings, my dignity, my general welfare. I had looked to him to reward me for my devotion with, at the very least, a little bit of love, but he never did. When he was gone, I was alone with my thoughts and my grief and my overwhelming regrets. I was convinced that I was in love with him. I don't think I was, now, but more that I really wanted him to be in love with me. I thought if he loved me, I would be special.
If he's not acting consistently appreciative towards you, minus the standard moods associated with long days, taxes, the flu, etc., please consider that he's telling you, not in words but in action, that you're not as important to him as you want to be. That's really all you need to know. You can't change his feelings for you and you can't change yourself to make him love you and perhaps this roller coaster is as good as it's ever going to be. If you want more than that for yourself, you may have to be willing to be lonely for awhile and sad, but you'll have your self-respect and you won't have the perpetual dread of him calling it off. They may not keep you warm at night, but they won't make you cry.
Think about it, pretty please. We all feel for you.
Anti-depressants take the edge off of the devastation, but if he's still around and bringing you down, I'm not sure they'll help you much.
Good luck to you.
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