You ladies are hitting the nail right on the head, at least for me. I have found when I find myself in a funk, a serious funk. And by serious I mean the ones where the weepies weild for no apparant reason. It would take the jaws of life to get me out of my jammies. The only place I wanna be and the only place you will find me is curled up on the couch, clutching my favorite blankie, surrounded by incredulous amounts of "C" foods. ( After years of indepth research I have found that all my comfort foods begin with "C" ) When I find myself in that place where I want to shut the world out... and thankfully it is few and far between now because I have learned to recognize the before signs... The building up to blocking out...Its usually beause I have neglected my inner child. I call her my lil girl lost. I forget her wants and needs due to the fact that I am so busy fulfilling everyone else's wants and needs. Her small joys and pleasures get over looked while looking to meet those others have.
We all have crosses to bear, burdens we carry from childhood. And yes as adults we have learned many ways to cope with the baggage. Even stuffing and blocking are coping skills. None of us have made it to adulthood unscathed. But what a lot of us do seem to forget is that we were somebodys child. Loved, cared for, nutured, and adored. Or even the opposite end neglected, abused, hurt. It matters not from whence we came. it matters not that we have grown into competent, capable adults... that child in us yearns for some care and compassion. Thats why its imperative we take of ourselves. Our whole selves inside and out. Seriously, at this stage of the game girls.. If we dont who will.
I am a firm believer in the "lil things". They have the power to make or break your day. I opt for making. A few that work for me ... reaching into the laundry basket and pulling out a matching pair of socks... Gunna be a Great day! Running late and along your route there is that traffic light that no matter what time of day you get to it, its always red. But today... its green and you scream thank you god! Lastly.... I never, ever pass a puddle with out a thorough leap smack dab into the middle! Alright thats a lie.. I have passed a few ucky mud puddles when dressed to the 9's. But if I'M appropriate and its appropriate, Its all mine!
Bottom line of this book hug yourselves. Be good to you, you deserve it just as much if not More so.
P.S.
( I so did not mean to get deep. Had a totally different topic to talk about... I just couldnt stop my fingers as they began to fly. )
My hug to myslef is to get back to my food journal starting tomorrow- I had a Hostess fruit pie for lunch and I'm pretty sure that doesn't count as a serving of fruit... yes, my (long) list list of stuff to do this weekend includes grocery shopping for healthy food! I really like the idea of putting your grocery list right in the journal. I've been working on a list of items that look interesting from the food threads.
I had a fabulous dinner last night of perfectly done filet mignon, asparagus spears and- warning, not WW friendly- an appetizer of broiled fresh mozerella wrapped in proscuitto. Mmm! I had some other bad stuff, too, but it was one night and well worth the points!
Thankfully, I've moved on to the florist, invitations, photographer part of my wedding to-do list so, if I say I was tasting anything, there's greater cause for concern than just my diet...
I have no wisdom to pass along- I just need to get back on track so I can enjoy nights like last night without beating myself up about it when I try on clothes. Ever notice how, when you're thin and something you try on doesn't fit right, the problem is the clothes (cut, fabric, etc.) but when you're overweight, the problem is always you? I need to work on that attitude because my closet is too depressing to describe!
~still in Analytical mode tapping the pencil against her chin as she muses~
183.5
9 more WI's before my 43rd birthday... hmmmm.. and by my calculations at a pound a week that would put me firmly into the 170's with a birds eye view towards the 160's. SHOOOT... by the time I'M 43 I could BE in the 160's!!
~tossing her glasses cuz they bobble when she bounces.. along with a few other things that she cant toss... bursts out laughing writing that~
Now wouldnt that be a kick in the head!!
Check out the date that was written. Nothing gandiose, no high falooting gunna-be's, just a pragmatic declaration. So sassy, you may ask, "Where are you at?" Well at that writing as you can plainly see I was sitting at 183.5. It's now 4 days before my 43rd and I am not only sitting firmly but Do have that bird's eye view, todays WI 171, with 6 days till my next WI. ( okies so sometimes I miss "Official Thursday's" but I usually roll in by Saturday..so perhaps 8 days.. )
Can I lose 2 pounds this week? Probably, with a lot of hard work and some major cut-backs. But why stress it? Why get myself all bent and bothered? I did what I said I Could do Not Would do, but Could do. Not once this time around did I add any stress or pressure. I didnt set myself up for a multitudes of mini failures. There is no would's just could's.
Ladies I am lovin the freedom!!
If I can (could's kssin cousin ) continue to stay the course and eat goodly, I could lose. If I dont, I'll maintain. If I eat more then the norm, I'll gain. God how simple is that.
Wow Sassy!!! That is a great attitude. You CAN do the 2 lbs this week. Wouldn't that be a terrific b'day present to yourself? YOU GO GIRL!!!!
As for me, I've got to seriously look at the past 5 months and figure out why I started to slowly yo yo again. No - take that back, I don't have to figure it out. I KNOW WHY!!!! But the figuring out has to be what's going on in my head that I've allowed it to happen again. This is exactly what happened the last time I joined WW - I allowed myself to get close to my 10% and I waivered. I started back on my old ways. I let the program slip and eventually I walked away from it. So what happened after that? I gained all of my weight loss back and I piled on an extra 10 lbs on top of it. So when I started this time. I was precariously close to 200 lbs (truth be told, I was over the 200 lb mark in June of last year). To me, for some reason, the 200 lb mark is my biggest failure mark - I don't want anyone to take it as a criticism, it's just a huge number for me personally. So anyway, I got down to 179.5 this time, which was my 10% and 20 lbs. That is a big loss - it feels good. I lost a size in clothes (obviously, I was wearing my clothes way too tight to have only lost a size). I haven't even started getting out my summer clothes. I know that there are a series of shorts that I'm not even going to pull out. They are going to goodwill. They looked terrible when I fit them, much less when I don't. I'm spending the weekend analyzing why I'm stagnating. I'm rejuvenating myself. I'm making a plan. I'm kicking myself in the butt and I AM GOING TO MOVE FORWARD!!! I am worth it - all of it. I can do this. I know what works. It's not that hard.
Thanks for being here everyone. This journey is such an eye opener. I cannot believe how differently I am viewing it this time. It's not that I can't - it's always been that I won't. This time I WILL!!!!
Last edited by Rosegarden; 05-12-2007 at 09:45 AM.
But why stress it? Why get myself all bent and bothered? I did what I said I Could do Not Would do, but Could do. Not once this time around did I add any stress or pressure.
Nah... Not going to stress it. Life is stressful enough. I'm losing happily and healthily.
That attitude- hopefully!- is contagious. I have to get some realistic goals in place. Two months ago, I wanted to be at 140 for my birthday in mid-June. From today, 18 pounds in 4 weeks isn't too likely or healthy. Now, I need to figure out what I can do and get going!
Laura, glad you liked the chili recipe!
Sassy, I read what you wrote and so much identified. I've not been addressing the little girl inside me much lately. I hope to do a better job of that today. I also think you are so right. Putting pressure on yourself to lose by a certain deadline was not good, what is good that you are changing your lifestyle and continue to lose at your own pace. We could all drive ourselves crazy if we beat ourselves up with this kind of thing. You are doing a great job!!!!
I have to share an NSV of a different kind with you all. I blew off a few old friends this week, people who have had kind of a destructive influence over me. I miss them, but I feel free. Maybe the regular communication with this group was dragging me down? I'm lonely in a way, as we were an e-mail group of 6 women who have been together for about a dozen years, but I was facing constant criticism and their political views (discussed constantly even when I tried really hard to ask them not to) were very different from my own. We shared a common bond of quilting and sewing but our discussion group turned sour. I've had it with them. I guess it was kind of a love/hate relationship, but now I am out of it and I am free.
At any rate, it's time for me to look at that little girl inside of me and examine what it is that she wants. The time I was devoting to communicating with people who were hurting me could be spent on more healthy pursuits? Exercise? Cooking more healthy choices?
I'm mourning the loss, but I am really to move on and get on with my life.
Critical and nit-picking people do not belong in my life. I also don't care to have my political views criticized as well. We came together as a group of people with a common bond and a friendship developed but if 5 are all from one political party and one is from another, the odds are that one person (if the conversation turns that way constantly, especially during an election primary year or whatever it is nowadays) will be persecuted by the rest. I will not be that person. They are entitled to their beliefs and I am entitled to my own. One sad thing to remark to you all is that I mourn for my country in that it is so polarized that people of opposing parties can't communicate well due to being so antagonized by our political system and the media has a feeding frenzy with it all that stirs people up. When we see that our politicians all act like spoiled babies when they can't get their way, I think this transfers into people's day to day life. If we could just find a way to come together in compromise, our society would be so much happier. With EACH side, it seems that they have to have it all and never want to let the others have their way. I can't get all that wound up about it all anymore and refuse to allow others to walk all over me, and feel they must turn every conversation into a political debate. Life it too short, while they are fretting over every single issue and repeating themselves day in and day out, life could pass us all by. I, for one, am willing to be a compromise person who accepts other's views without making them feel badly all the time. I will not visit that environment any longer, it is not healthy for me.
I do wonder if this destructive relationship was affecting my eating habits? I wonder if I will be able to do a better job taking care of myself without people making me feel bad? Maybe? I hope so!
At any rate, I am ready to forge on and find new friendships that a healthy and supportive!
Just wanted to make another quick post. It's Mother's Day and I'm sure many of you are off celebrating with families.
I am worry I was such a "downer" earlier today with my post. It's been a rough week.
However, I wanted to add that I vowed to make my own Mother's Day a healthy eating day. What I wanted was a good meal that might contribute to the scale moving DOWN this coming week at my weigh in vs. being taken out to a meal that is very high points.
I hope I can achieve that, I deserve to take care of myself.
Hi all -- been a very tough weekend for me in many ways. Weigh in was yesterday -- and I didn't go. I was up about .5 lb so I thought since I already know it why go and spend $13 for someone to tell me the same thing? My daughter flew in for the weekend and on top of it I had to work all day Saturday until 7:30 with a very cranky boss (probably because she didn't eat a thing all day and didn't even stop to go to the bathroom -- for over 10 hours!!!!). So I too didn't have anything to eat except my breakfast (thank GOD) and then came home FAMISHED. We (my son, daughter and I went out for dinner -- a very bad east indian dinner --I was going to cook (remember the lesson last week???) but I was so dead on my feet we went out.) *sigh*
Sunday, we slept in (good thing) -- I have a younger daughter that I kicked out of the house as she was freeloading, waiting until Mommy went to work and then invited her boyfriend over to play house (she only works part time because she says she has to upgrade for university -- but with playing house it's pretty hard to upgrade). About 6 weeks ago I booted her out of the house (more emotional eating here). So today on Mother's Day -- of course no call, because I am the big bad meanie..... ARGHHH
I drive my oldest to the airport and who do I run into??? The ex's brother....one that I haven't seen for 8 years. How I so wanted to look "hot" for any of his family so they would report back and say, "Hey, does Elan every look fabulous!!!" .. but alas I am NOT looking hot. (and no I am not PMSing). It's just a whole bunch of emotions run into one day. Seems to me that I am always the one that is left out -- when it comes to my ex, he's the one that gets all the applaud, presents, kudos and of course the pampering (I did it all the years I was married to him.) It goes with saying that I feel "forgotten" and yes, I can nurture myself and give myself something nice, but it isn't the same now is it?
Sorry to whine -- but I know that a lot of the yucky feelings inside have a great deal to do with my over-eating. With that said -- I promised myself that I would journal EVERYTHING that I ate over the weekend and count EVERYTHING. I have to be able to save my week and start fresh tomorrow. I have loads in the fridge (fresh veggies and fruit and lean meats etc.....) I have to focus on ME and focus on what is good.
Thanks for listening....at least the blabbing on here is heard by someone in the world. Seriously I think some days I feel like I am going nuts. I have been a great mom a great wife and I'm feeling very lonely -- and NO I really don't want to go "looking" -- it would be nice though. ARRRRGGGGGGGG
Elan, if it helps any, my own family barely nodded at me that is was Mother's Day and they LIVE here. I feel badly about what you are going through, though. I'm sorry about your daughter that you had to kick out of the house, maybe she will grow up a bit and apologize? How old is she?
Well, this morning, I am here to say that we can't expect anything from anyone else as evidenced by my Mother's Day. If we have any gifts to give ourselves, it is getting back to basics, concentrating on what we need to do, forgiving ourselves for the past and moving on to make the best of things.
Elan, it's too early in this weight loss plan for you to expect to look "hot" when you bump into someone, but don't worry it will happen and you will show them!
Okies Elan... take your cuddles and your coo's. When your done, I'm coming back for you.
I am not the coddling kind. Dont get me wrong, I can be very sweet. Doling out the warm fuzzies with the best of em when its called for. In fact I will take this moment to give you a quick snug just to show you I do understand the pang you felt. But I believe it came more from the "Day" it happene on and not what happened. Remeber its fleeting...feelings wax and wane. So enjoy your sugar cuz I will be coming with the spice and a few of these... I refuse to allow you to wallow.
Somehow you touched me thru this medium babes. I can identify with you on a few levels. We come from the same place, heading to the same areas, and have some of the same obstacles to overcome. ( and thats all top shelf easy to see stuffs... willing to bet we have or share a lot more in common then just that.. ) I like you. I like you to much to let people, places, and emotions inhibit you from being all that you can be. Deserve to be.
You will have your day. I tell you true... it doesnt have to be a future thing or a someday... You can have it now. Just let me know when your ready.
Sassy and Laura, you guys are just so cool!
I've vowed to turn over a new leaf this week! I'm going to get my body moving somehow, it's the hardest part of this weight loss stuff.
If I had more money in my pocket, I'd join a gym, but that is just not going to happen right now. But, I certainly can do some thing for myself here at home.
I'll warm up at least! It's 38 degrees here in NH today, we had temps in the 90s last week, I wish the weather would make up it's mind where it will be.
Arrrg.... I swear sometimes I am the Ultimate Yin Yang Woman First I am schmucking Elan and now I am back ... You girls! Linda Your to hard on yourself. All you need to do is find your "Set Point" and do More... short on time so I am doing a copy and paste explaining what I mean here....
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SusanB had brought this up in the Exercise Forum and it really got me to thinking...
Its about finding your set point, your starting line. She made mention of how Bob Green had taken a look at Oprah's life and schedule when she first hired him. Her set point at her heaviest was...
"She did two shows a day, a bunch of other stuff and could walk a mile in 18 minutes. All that accounted for nothing. It was her base-line and was keeping her at her current weight."
Eating less aside, for thats the first thing we all think about and do when begining a weight loss journey. What more could she do? How could she move more then she already was?
Well when Bob Green took a look at her schedule he simply asked her to jog instead of walking her mile.
Again as SusanB stated... Nothing fancy, just more.
Take a look at your day/week. Find your set point, what your already doing is keeping you where you are.
Me, I am a Mom of 3 very active socially children, ages 14,12, and 9. Between school activities, church, and sports we are jam packed! I am also a waitress on my feet and moving all day. But I know if I look... I will find my more. For now my more is.... instead of bending to retrieve things I am taking the opportunity to get some squats in. And as I am waiting for my food in the window, I am doing calf raises, wall push up's, or if your very lucky and in the mood for a giggle and grin you can catch me jogging in place. I am doing well but I can always be doing better.
) When I find myself in that place where I want to shut the world out... and thankfully it is few and far between now because I have learned to recognize the before signs... The building up to blocking out...Its usually beause I have neglected my inner child. I call her my lil girl lost. I forget her wants and needs due to the fact that I am so busy fulfilling everyone else's wants and needs. Her small joys and pleasures get over looked while looking to meet those others have. 
)
I refuse to allow you to wallow.
First I am schmucking Elan and now I am back ... You girls! 