I thought it was time for a therapeutic post, for me and anyone else who might want to join in.
Trying to lose these 30lbs or so for over 3 years now, has been such an emotional trial for me. I have fluctuated from 175-152. I am now around 155-157. I know quite a bit about fitness weight training and nutrition, but this knowledge has been more of a hindrance to me in my current lifestyle then it has been a help. Now, let me make clear, knowledge is a vital tool to success, and I cherish the knowledge that I have. Read on, and this will make more since....
As I said, I know HOW to be healthy. It was the very lifestyle that I lived before becoming a mother. But the birth of our child brought on many changes.
Moving to back to Alabama, forced us into bankruptcy, and we moved 7 times in 2years. (not running from the law or anything, LOL, just a lot of complicated circumstances) With all this emotional strain, it was so hard for me to stick to any fitness regimen that I (or my trainer friend) set up. It's like I had a mental block, I have to eat this and this, and work out like this and this, or nothing at all. And too, a lot of times, lack of time management, grocery shopping as well as low on money, had me running to the Dollar menu at McDonalds. Not being able to stick to a proper routine would make me just give up.
I promise this post gets more positive, so please read on….
I thought my new job at this gym, was the answer. Being in this environment was surely to be the key to my future success. Wrong again! By the time I'm up in the morning, and get my DD to my mothers to babysit, there is no time for me to work out. I am freshly showered, and have my make up on when I get here. Even if I squeezed in the 45mins to work out, I would be all yucky, because there’s just not enough time to shower, and all that before work. Then I'm not allowed to work out on the clock, so by the time I get off, it’s time for me to hurry and get my dd in time to get home and make supper.
BUT... there is a light at the end of this tunnel. (told you
) One thing that I see happing with my new job is that I am eating better. Not perfect, but headed in the right direction. I have my healthy BF in the morning, then while at the gym I munch on fruits, veggies, and Kashi bars. Then I have a normal meal for supper. My mind set is that if there is nothing healthy to eat, or if I can’t afford the grilled chicken instead of the double cheese burger, then I just don’t eat till later. Again, this isn’t ideal, but it’s the best I can do for now. I know I'm not getting enough protein yet, and I probably eat too many calories in my evening meal. Normally, knowing that I’m not following the “rules” would make me just give up all together, but I can tell a diff in my waist line. Although the fickle scales vary from 155-157 (I was 162 when I hired here three weeks ago) my tummy feels much flatter, and my appetite is much more under control. So I am going to stick with this, and hope to make the proper adjustments to get myself eating healthier over time.
Then I had an epiphany this morning. I got to the gym 10mins early, and without much thought, I jumped on the leg curl machine. In my blue jeans, make up on, and hair just washed, I did 3 sets of curls 20-15-12 reps. then the same with leg press, and finished off with strait leg dead-lifts. It took exactly 10mins, and yes I broke a sweat and have no time to get a shower, but I DON'T CARE :P I break a sweat walking through the parking lot in the summer heat!! So what’s the difference right? I figure that if I can do this everyday, at least my muscles are being engaged, and used. If my muscles are sore tomorrow, I’ll know it has been worthwhile.
If anyone is interested if this is going to work out for me, I’ll post my progress here…
Not gonna be a WannaB forever...
