I got my surgery date and yesterday I got my liquid diet in the mail (2 weeks before and 2 weeks after with the liquid diet). My surgery is on the 29th so I start the diet Monday. Im getting the "Sleeve" My question is who did you tell you were getting surgery? My mom and my sister are not very supportive, my Husband and Kids are (my husband has the lap band)..Im not sure if I want EVERYONE to know..
Last edited by Tiffrutherf; 03-11-2011 at 02:04 PM.
aaaaah. first of all, Tiff, welcome to our corner of the world. and second - there is no right answer to that question. some people NEVER tell anyone, just letting the world believe that they've simply found a diet/exercise plan that worked [and in a way, they have!].
others tell the whole world [i was one of those, but i was VERY ill going into the surgery and everyone was really pleased that i finally had a good chance of getting healthy].
still others just tell spouses - or their mothers- or some other limited group of people.
my recommendation: do what's comfortable for YOU. bottom line, it's nobody's business but your own. If you choose to share, that's for you to decide.
what kind of liquid diet did you get in the mail? most of us are given a list of things to do/not do before and after surgery - i didn't know that there were specialy liquid diets out there!
The bariatric Center im going to (Hurley in Michigan) starts you off with a 2 week liquid diet from Better MD (and 2 weeks post opt). Its just shakes, puddings and jello but packed with vitamins and fiber. My Husband did the diet before his surgery and lost 50 pounds in 4 weeks..
As for telling anyone your right! Between my Mom, Sister and I, I have always been the fat one until about 7 years ago when my Mom got sick and gained 100 pounds plus because of the medication she was taking and my sister, well she just got big. Anyways, my sister, I know, will say she supports me but will be upset. My Mom will blab it to everyone under the sun. Oh and yes it will get thrown in my face im sure. So I guess I just answered my own question hu? LOL!
Hi there. I am in the process of getting WLS but it will several months likely. I am not planning on telling anyone. My husband knows of course but that's going to be all. I know there are going to be people who are judgemental, that I am 'cheating' though if they knew what we go through with WLS they wouldn't think that! I don't need to put up with any negativity or people trying to talk me out of it or whatever. Sure there may be some supportive people but I find that negativity is more likely to overshadow the positive stuff.
I was the open book type, especially when I started to lose quickly and people started to notice. I had to deal with people being rude about it but you have to know you are doing the right thing by yourself and let the rest of the negativity go AND I was helping people, even the ones that were negative. Those that were thinking about having surgery, those that thought it was the easy way out, those that had it and had questions. Being open about it was right for me, but you really have to feel your way through it. Tell the ones you trust, everyone else knowing is not important anyway.
Good luck honey! Come here often, by helping other people, you get through it more successfully yourself.
Angela
Last edited by missangelaks; 03-12-2011 at 08:30 PM.
I tell whoever asks what I did to lose. I am a terrible liar and also I feel like people who are asking are usually looking for something that will work for them and I feel bad not telling the whole truth.
Thanks Guys, I was going to say something to my Mom tonight, but then I changed my mind. I have been talking to a therapist, I feel it is a much needed step to get to the heart of how and why I got to this point. Im learning to use the 5 second reaction tool: Tell someone something and whatever they say in the first 5 seconds is usually a pretty good judge of how they truly feel. So tonight I said to my Mom, "I lost 25 pounds since you saw me" there was silence then she said "I'm not worried your just going to gain it back". That was enough for me THEN she told me "your sister is going to be pissed if you look better then her BUT im so proud of you" WTH I was done.
Tiffrutherf: That 5-second reaction tool sounds like a really good idea! I'm sorry you had to use it in that circumstance but thanks for sharing it with us here.
<3 You know you're just doing what you need to do to get healthy. Good luck continuing your journey with good hearts supporting you.
I agree with Jiffy, tell whom ever you feel comfortable with. I personally did not tell anyone, my inlaws don't know and only 2 people at work know. I did not want people watching every morsel I put in my mouth or saying gee, she should be skinny by now. IMHO its nobody's business, and I'm very glad I didn't tell anyone.
I agree with Jiffy, tell whom ever you feel comfortable with. I personally did not tell anyone, my inlaws don't know and only 2 people at work know. I did not want people watching every morsel I put in my mouth or saying gee, she should be skinny by now. IMHO its nobody's business, and I'm very glad I didn't tell anyone.
I haven't had WLS surgery but I have dieted and I have found that once people ( I call them the diet police) find out that you are dieting, however you do it, they WILL monitor every bite you take. Somehow they just can't resist making unwanted comments. You can either turn a deaf ear to them or make a snappy comeback of some sort. The wittiest thing I can think of , "Yes, I should be eating food that doesn't make me (or keep) me fat ." That will answer the question of "should you be eating that ". ? Good luck .
I not telling more then 3 people (all men!) . I started the liquid diet today, it was not hard until I had to cook dinner for the kids. I started craving the simplest of things..a bite of this a bite of that, but I did not give in. Honestly I cant, failing may mean that I will have to reschedule the surgery or cant have it at all and Ive come too far for that. Its 14 days (but I started a day early) I can DO THIS!!
[QUOTE=Tiffrutherf;3754064) My question is who did you tell you were getting surgery?[/QUOTE]
I tell anyone who asks, though most people don't. If they are supportive that's great, if not then it's my health and well-being not theirs and I could care less.
My one regret is that my mother will never see me thin. She nagged me constantly for YEARS about my weight. She passed away a few years ago.
You are doing it for you not for other peoples approval.
I'm another who told/tells anyone and everyone. Not only am I a bad liar, but I would eventually lose track of who did and who didn't know and mess it up anyway. Plus, it's a way for me to share information since most people don't know about the DS or the VSG. I can't think of a single time someone said something negative about the surgery to my face, and if they are saying it behind my back, who cares? I've had people make very uninformed comments, but I just correct them. People were generally very supportive, and many have been genuinely interested in learning more. I have yet to encounter any food police. I've had people ask me if I can eat certain things, to which I respond that, yes, I can eat anything, just not in mass quantities.
I needed my mother and my sister to help me recuperate after my surgery. I can't imagine how things would have been if I hadn't told them and something (god forbid) went wrong. I've also been honestly able to share my successes with them along the way. My sister now struggles with weight more than she ever has, and I now weigh less than her for the first time in our adult lives. I know she's a bit jealous of this, but I remind her that she can't compare herself to me because I have an additional tool to help me that she does not have. I would feel horrible if she didn't know about my surgery and just watched me lose weight and wondered why it was so much harder for her to do the same.