If you have had bulemia for any length of time, I suspect the doctors will know when they do the GI because it leaves scars and such. Better come clean my dear. Don't hide anything because it carries over into your thinking and your weightloss life will be effected. If you don't deal well with things and can't be honest, it just comes out some other way, well in my fat-headed opinion. As for the knees......I had a replacement at 55 and the other one is killing me; bone-against-bone is no fun. Old Arthritis is one of my worst nemesis. The arthritis will never, ever, never, go away, but losing weight sure has made it more manageable. I had a broken foot and walked around with it for months before it was discovered and was probably from arthritis and MO. Starting fresh and new before your surgery is the way to go. You and me have had years of deceiving ourselves and manipulating our lives around obesity and other important things in life, you have a chance now to start living life well and healthy without guilt and making things anymore complicated. I've probably been pretty tactless, but mean well, because you are a young person and have a heck of a lot of life left to live with a means to live it well, if you take the opportunity. What is the reason you haven't told your doctor about your bulemia? Think about it.
I blew it big time FOOD WISE today, it was a freind's birthday so I took her to a cheap breakfast and a pricey dinner and then a guy wanted to meet at applebee's so I ate the dreaded boneless chicken wings (OMG I wont even tell you how bad the calorie count is) AND I had a desert shooter with him (300 cal) AND later split a brownie sundae with my freind BUT despite feeling like I would explode I DID NOT throw up, I found that after over a week of not doing it I really wasn't even very tempted, I mean yes the idea crossed my mind but I just joked about it to the friend and we went shopping.
I bought protein powder and some lotion and mananged to stay away from the bathrooms.
I think I have it back under control cause I caught it fast enough this time.
congratulations!!!! and look at you just taking it step by step and focusing on the RIGHT NOW, rather than how you handled it in the past!!!!
i gotta tell you - one thing really struck me about your post. that whole celebration = food thing. it hasn't left me yet!!!! in fact, whenever i get together with friends, guess what the first topic is???!!!!?? where will we go - what will we eat and drink.
Can you tell that i'm still working on the concept that being together IS the celebration????? <sigh> one day at a time
i've only just come to your thread but i wanted to say you did great for not throwing up. the binge probably wasn't so great for you but you controlled the after effects and thats a HUGE step. WELL DONE> you do deserve a pat on the back.
as juffypop said, a lot of us do reward ourselves with food. it's almost a societal norm i guess. next time you have a birthday / celebration think about things you can do that don't revolve around food!
go to the zoo?
the movies?
here's lots of ways to celebrate without over-eating.
Congradulations on not throwing up.. I know it can be hard, especially after you eat something off plan, because you think it is a way to avoid the calories and potential damage it can cause weight wise. I would encourage you to continue reporting your success to this group on a daily basis. We are all cheering for you!
I really hope you don't get your hopes up for this surgery. You can fool some people about your bulimia, but a good surgeon, (and hopefully you have a good one) will spot your bulimia immediately. At this time, you are not a good candidate for WLS, and no surgeon in their right mind would knowingly take the risk of preforming this type of surgery on a 1 week recovering bulimic....If you are honest with your doctor there is no way he'll take you on as his patient...what does that tell you?
I'm glad you are resisting the urge to vomit this week, because purging is obviously not an effective weight loss program. I really hope you use your resources to find an eating disorder treatment center instead of a surgeon.
I would agree whole heartedly with Lori Bell. I went to treatment 2 1/2 years ago and it is one of the best things I have ever done. Then when surgery comes you will be ready for it.
I'm sorry you're suffering so much. Did you know that stress can actually add to weight gain? Also, making yourself vomit is very hard on your esophagus, and if you're not getting proper nutrition, your body will start hoarding fat instead of burning it.
I recommend getting in a lot of protein. Protein forces the body to use fuels other than carbs...the fuels being burning fat. My dietician says 60-80 grams a day. Keep in mind though that the female body can only absorb 25-30g at a time. Try Whey protein. You're gonna have to drink it post-op anyway
Things have gotten a lot better, I found out some things about my ex BF of 2 months that killed any remaining feelings I had for him adn I now feel very free and somehow that has killed most of my appitite, I have not thrown up since I first posted this thread and even the desire is gone, I hope it in remission for a long time again, (it was 16 years since the last bought of it)
My stress is still there but much more under control, still not working out as much as I should but I think I have lost some weight and I am getting out a lot more and spend a lot of time with friends who are very very supportive.
Thanks for all the support here as well.
Sorry I have not been around much, I have been very very busy and I am trying not to obcess about teh WLS at this time, things are moving VERY slow an the more I worry the worse my stress goes up and the more likely I am to act out. I have not thrown up since the 19th of feb.
I had all my blood work done again, my cholesterol is still pretty decent but my triglycerides are through the roof and now they want to do a cardio stress test (with meds to speed up my heart since I can't tread mill) because of a blip on my EKG. Of course at my size it is difficult to get a good reading so my GP thinks it is my size but the Cardioligist still wants to see but has not arranged an appointment time for that so i am calling now.
I am just letting life take its course with a few nudges from me in the right direction.
Thanks to everyone who has been so much help to me and i promise to check in more.
