sorry, but I gotta chime in with the unpopular opinion too...maybe I should just keep my mouth shut, but--It is a terrible situation when grown kids are still with mom and dad, "playing house". They are probably raising the prices, etc. because they want you guys OUTA THERE. And rather than just kicking you out, they figure they will make it so unbearable that you will HAVE to leave.
I don't know the whole situation why you are living at your boyfriends' parents house, and you may have a very good reason, so I am sorry if I am out of line, but my parents no way, no how would have let my boyfriend and I share a room living in their house. Likewise, I wouldn't let my 25-year old son and his girlfriend live here....it would make me crazy, as I am sure it would make them crazy. Time to move on, darlin'. If you are gonna play house, it's best you do it in your own house.
Sometimes life hits you hard. Life doesn't always go the way you want it too. You gotta do what you gotta do to get by. No it might not be pretty or easy, but you just do it.
Im sorry if this affends you but I also agree with some of the others. You need to just move out. Sounds like places where you live are pretty cheap. By boyfriend and I got our first place when I was making 7.00 an hour and he was making 8.00 an hour. Rent where we live is no cheaper then 700.00 a month not including utilties and we managed to do it. That also included car payments that I had from a car I bought while still in highschool. Those payments where 300.00 a month. All we had when we moved out was a bed on the floor, a chair from the good will and a TV on a card board box. Oh and we ate chili out of cans for 2 weeks in a row. Now we have everything we could ever need and more. It just takes time but if theres a will there is a way. Good luck!
Yah it would not have gone over well in MY house growing up if I had even suggested moving my boyfriend in with me... yeeks! Let alone expecting them to provide food and rewire the house so we could plug in appliances.
I do agree though if you are paying $600 a month you should be able to find a place; in any case you need to move out on your own. I too have made most of my furniture out of cardboard moving boxes and eaten a lot of Top Ramen LOL... even now (and I have a good job) most of my furniture I got at yard sales or free off the street... but it's fairly NICE; I'm just a good scrounger. LOL I spent my $$$ on artwork and stuff for my walls. It CAN be done!
But my point is that life is rough sometimes for ALL of us... but we all have to do what we have to do to make it on our own.
I too don't mean to be rough... but it DOES sound as if the parents want the two of you to GO and learn to live on your own. Hang in there... growing up can be HARD but it is also fun.
You know you can get those freezer ziplock bags that have a special area to write in. I would use those to bag up strawberries or food like that and write "Trixie's special diet food" or something on them so others would think twice before eating them.
As a mom of college age kids, no way would they get to move in with their signficant other and I do think your boyfriend's parents are trying to send you a message: If you want to live together like adults, you need to be financially accountable like adults. So you'd better look for other digs.
Believe it or not, his family is being amazingly tolerant. 30 years from now you'll be able to recognize that. Good luck.
sorry, but I gotta chime in with the unpopular opinion too...maybe I should just keep my mouth shut, but--It is a terrible situation when grown kids are still with mom and dad, "playing house". They are probably raising the prices, etc. because they want you guys OUTA THERE. And rather than just kicking you out, they figure they will make it so unbearable that you will HAVE to leave.
I don't know the whole situation why you are living at your boyfriends' parents house, and you may have a very good reason, so I am sorry if I am out of line, but my parents no way, no how would have let my boyfriend and I share a room living in their house. Likewise, I wouldn't let my 25-year old son and his girlfriend live here....it would make me crazy, as I am sure it would make them crazy. Time to move on, darlin'. If you are gonna play house, it's best you do it in your own house.
forgot to cover that in my last post, they dont want us out, sooo many times we have told her we plan to move out and she has stopped us, saying she doesnt want us to move out, she doesnt think were ready etc. etc. so no thats not why their doing it.
were not "playing house" i had situations at home and I needed to get out of there, moving out here was kind of compulsive but I thought it would be better, but my bf's mom seems to have gotten worse (I personally think she is going through menopause...but if I say anything she will just bite my head off)
my bf and I have been together for 4 years, and when I lived at home I was pretty much living with him already b/c we spent so much time at his house, I usually spent the entire weekend at his house with him.
moving out is alot easier said than done, my bf has only been at his job for 3 weeks, meaning they could fire him for no reason any time before his 3 month probation mark, then we would be screwed, I have no job right now, we have NO money saved up for first and last months rent, or anything else, and like I said there are alot of things we need.
oh, and it was his moms idea for me to move out here.
and we never told them to rewire the house for us, we never asked for them to re-do the upstairs for US, they started it before I even moved out here, the upstairs was unlivable and they were doing it for re-sale value later on, and to get my bf his own room b/c there was only one downstairs and they wanted it so they could get out of the living room.
Well whether THEY want you to move out or not, it still sounds like a good idea! When we live in someone else's house, THEY have the right to make the rules. Just my opinion but if I were you I'd be out of there and on my own or with roommates if necessary.
I've been following your thread here and it just burns me up what some parents can do to their kids. My best friend all through my younger years ended up in a similar situation to yours. Her parents begged her and her boyfriend to move back in with them after my friend had already found a good apartment. The parents promised low rent and not to get in the way.
Well, ends up the parents squeezed every penny they could out of my friend and her boyfriend so they could make THIER rent and utilities and whatnot. And what did the parents use their own income for? Booze, drugs, motorcycles, and other frivolous things. Every time my friend mentioned leaving her parents would freak out and lay a huge guilt trip on her. Basically the parents were bleeding the couple dry so they had no choice but to stay and provide more income.
They eventually got out (after 3 years) by finding someone with a room for rent in their house who was sympathetic and waved the whole first/last months rent thing. They stayed in that room living out of a mini-fridge and using a hot plate for about 8 months until they finally had some money saved up to move into an apartment.
Fast forward about 15 years and now they're married with a baby and have a nice house in a good suburb of a town far away from her parents.
I'm not saying that this is exactly your situation, but everyone has to remember that not all parents have their children's best interests in mind.
This is going to sound harsh, but if you and the BF want to act like adults and live together, then be adults and get your own place. His parents are strapped financially and don't need the additional burden of you two. I can say this because I have a 20 yr. old son and his 18 yr. old girlfriend currently living with me. It has dramatically increased my bills. Especially the phone, Pay-Per View movies, the Electricity, the Water, the Gas, the Groceries. Gas for vehicles. My son makes $12.00 and hr. and his GF started a job yesterday making $8.00 an hour and I have told them to find them a home to rent or buy. He also draws $200.00 a month from Army Reserves. I am tired of seeing them eating out, buying pets, buying motorcyle and helmets and pure trash with their money while I am having a hard time paying bills. He now has saved up $1000.00 in his Armed Services account and they should have a place of their own soon. I love him dearly but don't think any parent should be dumped on by still having to support an adult child.
I know it can be scary and intimidating to move out on your own. My bf's parents own an apartment building with 5 apartments. They have let his sister and brother live here without paying rent for YEARS (and, to be honest, they give us a big break on our apartment -- I'll add to that that we also chip in to do repair and maintenance on the house, new roof, tree removal, new boiler; rents in our neighborhood go for about $1600/mo for a one bdroom). Frankly, I don't think it helps kids AT ALL to get that kind of help, if anything it debilitates them from stepping up to the plate and doing what they need to do. I've lived with hand-me-down pots and pans, a futon, and very little spending money. From how you describe it, you may end up with BETTER living conditions if you look around and find something else. Very few people have real guarantees with their jobs or a true promise of future income. Most people in this country are in debt with little or no savings.
If you do stay there for another year, since it's their house, I guess I'd agree that it's their rules across the board. When I was growing up no one got to have any special food that was his/hers, any food that came into the house was there for anyone to eat -- didn't matter who bought it. (That said, how would they even know if you kept any food in your room?)
This is going to sound harsh, but if you and the BF want to act like adults and live together, then be adults and get your own place. His parents are strapped financially and don't need the additional burden of you two. I can say this because I have a 20 yr. old son and his 18 yr. old girlfriend currently living with me. It has dramatically increased my bills. Especially the phone, Pay-Per View movies, the Electricity, the Water, the Gas, the Groceries. Gas for vehicles. My son makes $12.00 and hr. and his GF started a job yesterday making $8.00 an hour and I have told them to find them a home to rent or buy. He also draws $200.00 a month from Army Reserves. I am tired of seeing them eating out, buying pets, buying motorcyle and helmets and pure trash with their money while I am having a hard time paying bills. He now has saved up $1000.00 in his Armed Services account and they should have a place of their own soon. I love him dearly but don't think any parent should be dumped on by still having to support an adult child.
it is their own fault their in debt, it isn't like they spent money on things they NEEDED, they are in debt b/c they bought a house (which is crap) spent ALOT of money building a HUGE ugly eye-sore garage (which is apprently why they bought this house, so my bfs stepdad could have a bigger garage, and he doesnt use this one half as often as the old one at their old house, which was MUCH nicer) and they have 4 rentals (3 duplexes and one house - which my mom is in and is paying far too much for but it was an oppurtunity she needed, she also lied to my mom about alot of things about the house, it is in much worse condition than my mom was told)
they shouldn't try to get more money out of my bf to pay their bills, which is exactly what she was/is doing. Room and board is fine, but it is supposed to be for his car insurance, groceries and half the internet. They arn't supporting us, we buy our own stuff and dont spend money on stupid things we don't need.
I just don't think it is right for them to try and tell us that everything in the house is for everyone, and get mad at us when we try to keep stuff in our room to eat so they wont when they do it as well. (she comes in our room thats how she knows, and im pretty sure she does when were not here as well) They knew we were the ones who bought the strawberries, and apparently had like 5 of them and then went and bought their own, so they ate a whole pound that they bought, and my whole pound, i just think it is utterly rude, to not even ask, or say 'hey i ate your strawberries i'll pick some more up' we buy some healthy stuff for me, b/c if we didn't i would be stuck eating nothing but junk food, so this really discouraged me and made me feel as if I shouldn't even try b/c whats the point? the only stuff I can buy that is healthy and know they wont eat is stuff they dont like such as yogurt and whole wheat bread, and it is just really pathetic that we have to either buy stuff they dont like or buy stuff that doesnt need to be refigerated so we can keep it in our room.
Like ive already said, we have tried to move out before when we had the money, and my bf's mom was always like 'oh your not ready, we dont want you to move, we like having you here, jeni (me) can move out here with us, she wont have to pay' not that I ever planned on NOT paying, but NOT $50/wk when working part time that could be half my pay sometimes, especially since the living conditions are not worth $50/wk, there is hardly ever any food, their nosy, controlling, inconsiderate, and treat us like slaves (mostly my bf) and they dont appreciate anything we do (cooking dinner, cleaning, doing dishes etc.) when I first came out here I was doing dishes everyday, I was cooking dinner alot and then it was 'oh you dont do the dishes right' 'you dont cook anything you just heat things up' so i stopped, im not going to do things when im not appreciated for doing them.
were thinking of moving october 1, so we can save money and I can hopefully find a job.
I was going to mention if you ever heard of freecycle, its a place where people in your area give away stuff they no longer want or need. I'm also a member of a local "trading" post in my area and someone is selling some small appliances for dorms or small rooms. So that is another idea for ya, whether you stay or move out, you could look for things there you need. Just go to google or search engine and type in freecycle, also could probably find a trading post group in your area that way too. I would post the link, but not sure if I'm allowed. If you want I could PM it too you.
I was going to mention if you ever heard of freecycle, its a place where people in your area give away stuff they no longer want or need. I'm also a member of a local "trading" post in my area and someone is selling some small appliances for dorms or small rooms. So that is another idea for ya, whether you stay or move out, you could look for things there you need. Just go to google or search engine and type in freecycle, also could probably find a trading post group in your area that way too. I would post the link, but not sure if I'm allowed. If you want I could PM it too you.
Just an idea.
Ive never heard of that, we were thinking of going around to garage sales this summer however, we would probably only need a microwave, toaster and a few bathroom things to move out, so not much, alot can be found at garage sales, and we are planning on buying alot of things at the dollar store as well.
Most apartments around here come with a fridge and stove, if we dont move we will probably just look for a mini fridge or something at garage sales, but moving out would be nice, we have wanted to for a while, just never had the money and when we did we always decided against moving out for one reason or another.
Life
Let alone expecting them to provide food and rewire the house so we could plug in appliances.
Freecycle
