[dragonwoman64]

I wonder if you couldn't make the point to your dad less confrontationally. Say to him in a light tone, hey, dad, I sure am ready to hear a compliment from you about all the weight I've lost! (I'm sure you could even think of a better way to put it.)

He may or may not catch the (baseball bat) hint, or respond to it. But it could be a way to approach it without it being to emotionally loaded for you.

Maybe breaking through those harder topics lightheartedly might make it easier to eventually talk to him on a deeper level.

My dad is pretty disconnected when it comes to being affectionate or with us kids, or praising us. I wonder if part of that isn't generational.

PS I'd definitely give it a try telling him you're proud of him.

[Judy01]

You need to be sooooo proud of yourself. I saw a quote today and wrote it down:

"The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself."

I don't know who said it but it speaks volumns.

Keep up the good work....you are an inspiration!

[HarpoChicoGroucho]

Originally Posted by dragonwoman64

I wonder if you couldn't make the point to your dad less confrontationally. Say to him in a light tone, hey, dad, I sure am ready to hear a compliment from you about all the weight I've lost! (I'm sure you could even think of a better way to put it.)

Hee hee, that would make him speechless!! He wouldn't know what to say if I said that to him!

See, I don't have a lot of experience (okay none) with other men, so I didn't know there were men out there who never gave compliments to their loved ones. It's another requirement I guess I'm going to have to look for when I start looking for a husband: he must not be a non-complimenter!! Don't men realize that hurts our feelings? Or are they missing that part of their brain? What where are some of the men here? I'd like to hear their opinion on this subject. Where are Howie and Charles? If anyone comes across them, could you please direct them to this thread?

I don't know why I need any sort of validation from anyone, because I know I've come a long way, but it sure would be a mean the world to me if he said anything.

[jtammy]

Originally Posted by HarpoChicoGroucho

I didn't know there were men out there who never gave compliments to their loved ones. It's another requirement I guess I'm going to have to look for when I start looking for a husband: he must not be a non-complimenter!! Don't men realize that hurts our feelings? Or are they missing that part of their brain?

I don't think my husband realizes that it hurts my feelings. Although I've told him that I wish he would occasionally throw out a compliment and he still doesn't do it, so who knows. Maybe he knows and just thinks - hard cheese. Or maybe he is missing that part of his brain.

[penpal]

Some men do a lot of "assuming". They assume we know that they think we look nice and don't feel it's necessary to mention something so obvious! I've also tried prodding my husband to give me compliments. He'll do it a couple of times and then forget. I've been married for 37 years, so I doubt I'll get him to change at this point and I think it' a bit demeaning to "beg" for compliments, so I just accept things as they are.

Most men I know are also not "chatty" like my girlfriends and me. It's just the way they are. The only guy I know who likes to chat and gives me compliments is my gay hairdresser!

I can completely change my hairstyle and color and my husband won't notice till I ask him how I look and, you guessed it, he'll say "nice" his one and only adjective when it comes to my looks (if I ask him)! I should be grateful as at least he doesn't say anything mean to me about my weight - although he also hasn't commented on my weight loss except when I told him I'd lost 35 lbs. he said "that's good". MEN!!!!!

So, Harpo, don't hold your breath waiting for a compliment from your dad. You might be able to get him to compliment you a couple of times, but it's hard to make a leopard change his spots! Sometimes we just have to accept there are things we can't change and make the best of it.

By the way, you said you thought you might never be "good enough" in his eyes. I'm sure that's not the case - I bet he's very proud of you but just doesn't know how to express it.

[Brendalee]

Harpo.. I just have to say.. 126 lbs lost.. HOLY COW girl.. that is SO amazing and regardless what anyone else thinks, family or not.. that is FANTASTIC.. "I" am proud of you hehe Unbelievable work.. you really got it goin on hehe! WTG !!

[dragonwoman64]

My bf is the same way. He's very touchy about the topic too.