[LaBonita]

Originally Posted by Elsbels

A previous poster, who admitted she didn't read your story properly, made some comments about your man maybe having a point about you needing to lose weight and take exercise and not moan about being fat. This is an irrelevant statement. Everyone in here knows we need to lose weight, this is not the issue, we shouldn't preach at each other about this of all things. I have 80lbs to lose and look with envy and admiration on someone with only 10 or so to lose , or who is naturally able to keep slim, but they don't need to make anyone feel worse than they already do.

Don't know if you are talking about me, but I'm pretty sure you are. I NEVER said that we shouldn't "moan" about being overweight. Maybe you need to read MY post thoroughly. All I meant by my post was that she shouldn't care so much about what he thinks of her, but rather she should take care of herself anyway, and if he doesn't appreciate that, then too bad for him. And I DID say 110 was very unreasonable. I wonder if you read that part too? Please don't put words in my mouth...thanks!

I'm also not "naturally" slim. I don't have 10 more pounds to lose...I have 30. 135 is my short-term goal. I'm 5'2". I've never been able to say I'm naturally skinny, because when I don't eat right and don't exercise, I gain weight...just like you and a lot of people on this board. I've gained 30 pounds since starting college, and it's really done a number on my self-esteem - your rude comments don't help at ALL. Just because you have 80 pounds to lose doesn't mean you have more reason to be here than I do. And my post was never intended to make her feel bad...it was intended to help her see that "maybe" there was some positive light to her situation.

Ugh. Sorry, my rant is over. And here I was happy about losing the first 4 pounds, but since it's "only 10 pounds I need to lose" then what's the point in being happy, right? I mean, being naturally skinny and all I don't NEED to lose much weight.

[RubensMuse]

Butter.....this man is selfish. There is no other way to decribe it. There are too many facets of what could have created an individual like him. Also, many factors have created who YOU are fat or thin.

My opinion is sit down, make a list of the things YOU want in a relationship and EXPECT in one. Try hard not to impart elements of what the media, movies, etc display of 'love' is, but what YOU know love is. And decide if he meets those requirements.

Love is not jealous, does not behave indecently or look for its own interests..love never fails and this man is certainly failing you.

I know you want to feel loved, wanted, needed and desired, but please, try not to do that at the risk of WHO you are. You can get lost in those feelings and he seems to know that. Are you willing to sacrifice YOU?

[Elsbels]

Sorry laBonita. You're right. Didn't mean to make you angry or make things go off topic like this. I am suitably chastened.

[LaBonita]

It's quite all right. I didn't want to make you angry or hurt either. I suppose part of my rant came with the sour mood I'm in today...so I hope you don't take offense to it. I just tend to get emotional when I'm having a bad day. I knew my earlier post wouldn't make some people happy, but it's also something I had read in a magazine a while ago that I thought was good advice...a girl had asked the same question, and rather than saying she should dump him, their advice was to contiunue to lead a healthy lifestyle, because in the long run, that's what's good for all of us...with or without the stupid MEN in our lives.

[Elsbels]

I'm with you there!

Sorry again - we've all got our own goals and stuff to work out for ourselves and I should respect that and not be uneccessarily rude without knowing all the facts. Apologies. It was good general advice - maybe not for BB though? . I just wish she would reply and tell us how she is!

[jillybean720]

I agree 100% that no matter what a man says (or any significant person in our lives), we should continue the healthy habits for ourselves anyway. However, I still think she should dump him because from my interpretation of the post, he's certainly not worried about the health implications that come with her weight--he just wants her to be what is his ideal of hot