You've already had some good help on here, so for what it's worth.....a friend was sent to a RD for wt loss consultation.She told her to buy a notebook & rule it into several parts,then do nothing for 2 wks except to write down every bite. Not to cut calories, but write time of day, amount of food eaten & how hungry she was at the time of eating.The RD told her to be honest in recording. Then she went back & the info was there in black & white...along with calorie/fat/protein/sugar info.She was found to be eating way more than needed & was very high in fat/sugar.
Her info isn't revalant to you, but you could do the same (cheaper than RD

.Then sit down with calculator & use it as a base to start from.
I agree with the other posters.All the info/help won't help till you make that click in your mind,knowing you're done with being overwt.I'm not on a diet, but count calories to keep my eating healthy & under a certain amount.Losing for me is S_L_O_W....but that's ok...as I intend to eat healthy all my life. BTW...I'm older too & that equals slower.
My feeling about treats of any kind is....don't fool yourself into believing you're buying ice cream/brownies for anyone else. If you can have one small portion till it's gone, that's fine......but you didn't gain wt by doing that, so you'll have to bite the bullet & go with lower cal treats you can work into your plan.Sorry to be so long winded.Good luck,Pat