I have been visiting this site off and on for a year now and think it is wonderful. I just feel frustrated and confused and like a wimpy failure. I just wonder if anyone else has had the experiences that I have had with trying to lose weight. I'm at a loss.
I have been pretty healthy all of my life and haven't been really overweight ever. I just quit smoking four years ago and this is when the real trouble began. I started to gain a little weight and freaked out on my 38th birthday and joined a gym and started to try to watch what I eat. I didn't lose weight then. Slowly it's been creeping on.
I have lost weight doing W.W. but I never did reach my goal of 135, I got to 139 briefly. I went to O.A., the deprivation thing did not work for me. I just couldn't do it, it felt too restrictive. Last January, I bought a book called Changing for Good and set up a really awesome plan that included meditating, exercising, using positive reinforcement coupled with the SBD, I lost ten pounds. I then ate Ben and Jerry's one night and gave up and went on a feeding frenzy. I don't even really binge compared to what I think a real binge is, I just can't seem to stick to a plan for any length of time.
I feel like a nut because I think of my weight all the time and how to lose weight and give in so easily all the time. I feel like should I even try again, is this insane or what? I weigh 150 now and I'm 5'6", I feel gross and ugly. A lady I work with lost 58 pounds and I'm so jealous. Has anyone ever had success at weight loss after doing stuff like this?
I even tried Dr. Phil's book, I feel like a failure, are there any other good motivating books out there? If you were me, would you keep trying? I think I'm a wimpy person and don't know if it's possible for me to lose weight, I see others do it and don't know why I can't
Tracy, you're not gross and you're not ugly. You're just not!!! And look, 150 pounds at 5'6" isn't huge-- I weigh more than ten pounds over that, and I'm in a size 10. Look, some people have bigger bones and muscles than others, so they just weigh more. But that doesn't mean they are "fat and ugly!" And even if you are more lightly built, you can change your body quite a lot to get to where you want to be. Just don't deprive yourself of food! It doesn't work.
What does work -- at least it has worked for me-- is just quietly getting in a good amount of exercise every day, and eating a nutritious diet that does include treats. And then it's all about patience and keeping your eyes on the prize. It takes a while to lose weight safely so you don't gain it right back. There isn't any quick-weight-loss magic out there. But it will happen, if you put in the exercise and eat reasonably, not necessarily perfectly, every day.
I find keeping a diary and measurements very motivating, because I can track my progress. I also find FUN exercise extremely motivating-- that's the main thing, in fact. You'll never stick with this for the rest of your life unless it's FUN. So please consider creating a program based on your personality, your sense of enjoyment, and forget the lady down the hall who lost some weight. She's not you, what worked for her might not work for you, and she might not have done it healthfully, which increases the chances she could gain it all back!
So don't worry about anyone else, please. Just concentrate on being patient with yourself. That's a major skill in the whole bag of tricks, just patience. It takes a while, I won't kid you. Look at my stats, I've been at this for 2 1/2 years. But there are lots of rewards along the way, and I wouldn't have missed this trip for worlds. It's fun, and deeply gratifying.
My favorite motivational book is "Thin For Life" by Anne Fletcher, which is about lots of ordinary people and their experiences losing weight and keeping it off for years. They have a LOT of good tips and techniques, and most of them have tried to lose weight many times before finally succeeding. It's very motivating for me, I highly recommend it. Best of luck to you!
i totally agree with seek. how can you be gross and ugly at 150 at your height? impossible.
you need a more positive aproach. if the weight loss is consuming your thoughts try shifting your focus towards health. plan a day of eating healthy food: lean meats, vegetables, fruit, high grain complex carb breads. think health instead of diet. one meal at a time, day at a time, week at a time.
have stategies for when you are confronted with unhealthy choices. do you know in advance what are the healthy choices you could make at the restaurants you frequent most? if you decide before hand what you like and plan to have you will stick to it more easily.
no more guilt: what exactly are you guilty about? maybe you could journal your feelings about that (don't worry about doing it everyday, it's only for you and your eyes only). record what makes you feel good about yourself even if it's not related to weight loss. positive feelings without self-delusionment goes a long long way. alot of people find it really helps them to understand and control binges if they write it out and then can go back a learn from what they wrote. guilt about eating is very negative and conterproductive. let it go.
jealousy is also very negative and doesn't seem to be helping. when those feelings arise try thnking something like "she's really an inspiration, good for her" or don't even think about it "that's her and i'm me. our weight does not add or take away from our value as people"
exercise: the benefits are so numerous and will help you physicaly and mentaly. you didn't mention if you do any. whatever you choose make sure you enjoy it!. this is key. it shouldn't be a chore. start slowly and notice yourself getting stonger, going longer, faster.
expectations: slow, slow slow. and like seek said steady patience. practice compassion on yourself.
cravings: ice cream tastes good, it has a pleasing texture. it's hard to resist. when the craving strikes have a glass of water while thinking why you want it (need it), wait ten minutes, keep busy. if you still want some take a small bowl put in a couple of spoonfuls. put the ice cream container away and sit down at the table (not tv or book) and eat it. enjoy!!! wash the bowl and spoon and put away. walk away. if you want more repeat or try having a low sugar high fiber alternative like bran cereal. repeat. enjoy! now forget about it. no guilt.
have you used fitday or dietpower? i find them extremely helpful to keep focused.
good luck to you
i hope this helps.
gen
At 150lbs, I doubt you're even classed as overweight for your height, so please don't think you're "gross and ugly"!!! You may be a few pounds heavier than you're used to, and that may make you feel uncomfortable, but believe me, you're neither of those things!
The woman from work who you're talking about, obviously had a lot more weight to lose than you do, if she has lost 58lbs, so you can't really compare yourself to others.
Don't starve yourself as you won't lose weight - carry on eating healthily and doing some exercise, and it may be slow but it will come off. I'm losing weight pretty slowly myself and I know it's frustrating but it WILL come off eventually.
Tracy you are in a slump, we have all been there. There is a good book called the Thin Books which deals with raising self esteem and has a daily meditaion with an positive action plan. You may need to keep a journal of what you eat and how much, it will give you some idea of where to start. Try eating just when you are hungry and only eat half of what you normally eat, start with that. A lot of times we rebel at ourselves because we want what we can't have. Keep checking in here we are all here for you. God BLess
Thanks so much to everyone, I am glowing right now!!!! I so appreciate the support. You are all so awesome.
As I look back over what I wrote I see that it is very whiny and negative and kind of victim like. Sorry for that. I am not ugly and need to quit being so mean to myself. It felt a little shallow.
I am going to read these posts everyday for motivation, I think others have struggled too. It's good not to be alone. I will do writing and journaling and the funny thing is I read about the Thin for Life books and bought the journal and the book yesterday!!! I plan to tackle them after my birthday which is July 9th, I'll be 42, Yahoo!!!
Exercise, I have been doing it sporatically, I need to make it a priority. My boyfriend was talking to me about it last night (he was trying to help) and he says I don't really commit to anything the way I need to. I go to the gym and do Power Yoga, maybe twice a week and walk once in a while. I told him that he and my 14 yr. old daughter maybe need to make dinner more often so that I will have more free time. He kinda got quiet after that but I know he'll help in that area. I tried to commit to exercising everyday but couldn't stick to it. Maybe starting with three - no matter what- times a week will be good.
I feel I just can't give up no matter how many times I have failed.
hi tracy,
i'm glad that you are feeling better , everyone gets down sometimes, and frustrated.
i weigh myself once a week because if don't i'll be weighing myself 30 times a day and that's just not good
and i don't want to drive myself crazy with daily weight fluctuations.
3 times a week at the gym is a good plan. after dinner walks with your boyfreind and daughter are good for the heart (both senses: cardio and loving)
good luck to you
Hi Tracy. Glad you are feeling better mentally. I'm not sure what the book Thin for Life is. The Book I am reading is the Thin BOoks. ANyway about weighing in regularly. I am trying to develop a habit of once a week, right now I am kind of nuts with the scale and weigh in every day, which is NOT a good idea. Anyway I hope to break that cycle. The Thin Books are wonderful. It's actually 2 books in one. The first part deals with developing a more positive attitude and building self esteem and the second part is a daily positive meditation with a positive action plan. The author is Jeane Eddy Westin it is published by Hazeldon. It should be or could be ordered at your local bookstore. This woman has been there she even had bypass surgery that had to be reversed or she would have died! Anyway I would recommend it to anyone. I gave my husband one for Fathers Day and one to my friend Starr and I am ordering one for my son and his wife and will keep a couple on had to give to friends who may need it. Anyway have a blessed evening. WIll catch you tomororw.
I feel a more confident now. Maybe the missing ingredient is support from others who are going through the same thing. I'm getting mentally ready to try again. I will celebrate my birthday with food, can't help it, but I'm starting after that.
We are going camping the weekend of the 16th but I will still eat according to plan, it seems as if there is always some challenge to face that involves food, be it a birthday, holiday, etc, etc, etc. I need to learn how to deal with these times because they will always be there. It's about healthy eating as someone mentioned. No more diets for me, they don't work. I do know how to eat healthy, I know so much about food it's not even funny!!!! I can still enjoy life without "bad" foods.
I just want to feel healthy and fit, I don't expect to go back to the body I had in my 20's I know that is unrealistic, I also don't expect everything in my life to be wonderful if I lose weight. I do know my confidence will probably go up and I will feel better mentally and physically.
I will be checking in to talk often.
I have to figure out what CW(current weight)? and GW(goal weight)? mean and what is the other one? My highest weight? That was 156, my goal is 135.
Thanks so much, I will ask for the Thin Books for my birthday, thanks PraytheRosary!!
Tracy
What is wrong with me?
, everyone gets down sometimes, and frustrated.
