[Palestrina]

Originally Posted by souvenirdarling

In my city that food is popular; and so is being good looking; I feel like I should be able to look perfect AND eat what I want... it's kind of ridiculous to bat myself up over how it doesn't quite work...

Diet obsession is really dangerous for me I'm sorry you're having this experiece in NYC - it sounds terrible and alienating. I hope you're still enjoying a good career and good company despite the bad general attitude.

This thread has had be thinking about my idea of my fitness level. Almost NO ONE in my very large circle of friends is into fitness or has a particular hobby that involves exercise. Because of that I've always considered myself really fit, even if overweight. Other people don't see me that way at all, and it shocks me (in a few different ways, from being insulted to being counter judgemental). I would probably be a lot more fit and active - and slimmer - in an environment with people who had better habits and routines. I'm going to make new friends :)

Thanks, I am doing quite well now, I'm nearing 40 so I'm so much more comfortable in my skin now than I was in my early 30s. Back when I wasn't dieting I felt great, and I was a lot thinner. It wasn't until the diet obsession began that things got really bad and I gained a lot of weight.

You'd be surprised how easy it is to meet people in more physically active settings. People who enjoy dance classes and fitness classes are really friendly. My social circle has evolved because I seek out people who want to get up and do things. My friends and I are always going to dance classes together, or planning hiking trips, or meeting for tennis in the mornings, or even making plans to walk through central before we sit at a cafe.

You can be that catalyst in your group of friends. "Hey do you want to meet me at the botanical gardens for a walk and then get some coffee?"

[Penny105]

In general, I think a lot of the country's perspective on 'healthy weight' is skewed too high. That's not strange given that about 70% of us are overweight or obese.

When I was about this weight when I lost weight the first time (mid-150s), my family was actually concerned for my health. Some of them literally asked me to promise them not to lose any more weight. I was overweight by BMI standards and just barely not obese by body fat standards. They did not have the right idea at all.

So, no, you do not sound like a jerk. I think the fact that you are considering that you may not be seeing things clearly (instead of just blaming the doctors) is a good sign. It doesn't mean the doctors are right, but it's healthy to question one's perspective. Also, your doctor should not be rude to you no matter your weight. Her/his job is to help you, not the other way around.