[peachflesh]

What a fun thread! Reading everyone's goals reminds me that I'm not alone in the struggle, and that everyone has their unique perspective.

I have several goals:
1. To regain my self confidence & feel sexy again
2. To become a rocking yoga master with amazingly strong arms that hold inverted poses like nobody's business
3. Say bye to this double chin forever
4. To have as healthy a body as I can have, to love a long and disease-free life of happiness and prosperity.

[peachflesh]

Originally Posted by tardyfortheparty

I am not obese, just overweight, but even so, I've always been self-conscious with my body around boys. I never wanted a guy I was dating to see me without my shirt off because how could he find my body beautiful when my stomach was so fat? Would he be repulsed by it and not want me anymore?

It's that kind of thinking that's led to the demise of my relationships. My not feeling comfortable in my own skin and not being able to admit to them that I'm standoffish about intimacy because I'm self-conscious, and not because I'm disinterested.

My ex was akin to a Greek god. He looked like an Abercrombie model. Blonde hair, tan skin, a lean 6'0" frame with a six-pack, but it was his face that made me weak in the knees. But whenever we went out, I wondered that if anyone was judging him for being with me. I felt embarrassed so I rarely ever showed him affection when surrounded by people because I didn't want to risk anyone staring at us strangely. No one said anything about him and I being unsuited, but I felt like we were. My weight just plagues me with this sense of incompetence.

So, there it is. I want to feel self-confident. I want to be able to take off my clothes without feeling ashamed. I have high expectations for a partner, so I should have the same for myself. I want to be able to walk around with him, hand in hand, and not wonder if anyone is thinking, "What's a guy like that doing with a chubby girl?"

I think a lot of this stems from my father, who has always spoken unabashedly about the larger wives of his friends. Not to their faces, of course, but nonetheless, this and his jokes to my mother (who's only 20 pounds overweight!) about her weight have really gotten to me. I just have this feeling that no one could ever love me if I was fat. Ridiculous, because I have a pretty face and I've had plenty of guys interested in me over the years, but I've always blown it with my body issues...

My mom always hated herself for being overweight, and my dad was a star athlete that everyone loved. Her lack of self worth eventually led to his disrespecting her too. And then all the other issues broke through the cracks in their facade. They got divorced and my mom still to this day continues the cycle of hating herself and her fat, and judging other people's bodies too. She has passed that fear of fat on to me and both my sisters. I have been working with a therapist to try to let go of that fear and remember that there are a million other things about myself that are worthy of love, beyond my appearance.

I think you're right when about your dad's habit of disparaging overweight women having an affect on how you see yourself. Clearly if Mr. Adonis was with you, there are things to love.

I hope you find the self worth you deserve!!!

[2salads]

I've read this whole thread and I love everyone's reasons from the self-love, to the medical, to the confidence.

My reasons/goals are a bit of each:

1)To be able to focus on more important things than my weight. It's so obsessive to me right now that alot of other important aspects of my life are getting shoved aside. Not good.

2)I have been lucky to avoid diabetes as it runs in my family. My doctor tells me that I am in perfect health except for my weight. I intend to avoid diabetes and to relieve the pain in my knees.

3)To look forward to wearing a skirt without worrying about rashes or rubbing holes in my stockings.

4)Money. I always used to tell myself that eating healthy was expensive. Yes the price of groceries can be expensive but I can grow much of my own food. Meat is expensive. Eat less, spend less, lose weight. Win, Win Win. Add in the cost of plus size clothing. And medical expenses. It is NOT more expensive to eat healthy.

5)Play tennis with my older child and run across the field with my youngest one.

6)Keep up with my husband on a walk or in the store.

7)Have a better bum than Jennifer Lopez!

Oh, and to the poster who asks if wearing heels is comfortable at any weight, the answer is NO.

[Seana]

Ha
Goals: Right now all I can think about is: I want to eat wisely all day. Today is day 7. So maybe I can make a goal that says: I want to eat wisely for a week. I feel like an addict so one day at a time is all I can do right now. If I start thinking about looking good in clothes or having energy...well all that seems so far away and makes me feel discouraged. So yeah. One day at a time for me right now.

[noshoes]

My big goal is to lose another 5kg, giving myself time, even to the end of the year.
I want to focus on 45 minute exercise more often.
I need to remember to eat enough.