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Old 02-20-2014, 11:22 PM   #1  
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Default Weddings are a drag

I have been with my fiancee for 9 and a half years and he and I are finally getting married in late May. Not only is the planning as stressful as I'd heard about, I always envisioned myself losing about 25-30 lb for the wedding. I have had a few brief successes but somehow I haven't stuck with it. I want it so badly, I do not know why it is so hard for me. I feel so bad for myself, when it is all my fault. I just don't want to cry the day before my wedding feeling like a failure (and dreading my photos on such a happy day)

This week I have been doing better, not perfect, but definitely noticing I am saying no more often. Maybe it is subconsciously settling in. I know these last 90 days is the time I could use to lose at least 20 lb and I know I would be so ecstatic approaching the day knowing I did work hard to meet a goal.

I don't know why I am posting this, maybe personal empowerment. Or venting. I know I can do this, I wish I knew why I have been sabotaging my chances lately.

I picked my dress and it will be ready to try on for the first time in about a month. Then I think I will have to ask for alterations and have one more fitting a few weeks before the wedding where I make my final decisions. I would love to go down two sizes but one would be ok I want to be proud of myself.
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Old 02-21-2014, 10:54 AM   #2  
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Congrats on getting married!

You can do this! Make good choices one meal at a time and don't let stress be the reason you eat.

Good luck!
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Old 02-21-2014, 11:32 AM   #3  
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I would encourage you to remember that this is about the MARRIAGE, not the WEDDING!!

You fiancee clearly loves the heck out of you and being 25 pounds heavier or lighter for 1 day in time will not change that!!

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Old 02-21-2014, 11:35 AM   #4  
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Hi Rockstar2014-

I'm getting married in June, and boy do I sympathize with everything you said. Planning is an absolute drag. We have so little free time as it is, plus we just bought a house and moved so until now that has taken all of our extra time. Now that the dust has settled, we find ourselves hopelessly far behind on wedding planning. Plus, my fiancé is a great guy but it seems inevitable that the main burden falls on me (as the woman) to think of everything.

Dress-wise, I went shopping a few times and was so demoralized that I didn't go back. I am hoping to shape up a bit more in the next month then just order something online. I think your post DOES sound like personal empowerment: you are now motivated to meet your goal and you are making positive changes. Just don't get dragged down by the stress and the minutiae (and I will try to do the same). No one will remember what color our napkins were at the wedding!
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Old 02-21-2014, 01:36 PM   #5  
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Planning a wedding is a pain in the arse so this time we're eloping in the Caribbean. We just have to provide documents and the wedding coordinator will handle the rest. Easy peasy.

Don't worry about weight I'm sure by then you'll get most of the extra off and if not...well...eff it.

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Old 02-21-2014, 06:22 PM   #6  
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Originally Posted by RockStar2014 View Post
I have been with my fiancee for 9 and a half years and he and I are finally getting married in late May... I just don't want to cry the day before my wedding feeling like a failure (and dreading my photos on such a happy day)
Best of luck with the upcoming nuptials, RockStar2014! Ditto CherryPie99's comment, it's just one day to mark what will hopefully be a long and happy marriage. Please don't let the stress over your weight cloud your wedding.

I was about 20 pounds heavier than I had wanted to be for my wedding and while I think I look rather pudgy in my gown, I also look relaxed and genuinely happy because I was that day. The dress thankfully fit (I had put on a few stress pounds in the month before the wedding), the ceremony went off without a hitch, and everyone had a great time, including me!

You could always renew your vows down the road and get some new pictures taken in another lovely dress- or even keep your wedding gown and have it taken in!
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Old 02-21-2014, 08:24 PM   #7  
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good luck and use the wedding as motivation to make permanent life changes to live at a happy and healthy weight. I look forward to seeing you succeed.
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Old 02-23-2014, 10:14 PM   #8  
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Congratulations! One way not to sabotage yourself is not focusing too much on all the things you say "no" to, but all the good things you can say "yes" to. I have found that that works for me and this is the first time I ever stick to a diet, because instead of telling myself "I can't eat waffles with PB and maple syrup" I'm telling myself "I can eat a deliciously sweetened omelet!" And so it goes. When I crave chocolate too much, I buy Atkins M&Ms and nibble on half an ounce through the day. It's not about what you cannot eat, it's about all the healthy foods that will get you to where you want to be.

Good luck! You can do it!
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