I am so, so sorry for your loss. Your son knows just how much you love him. You showed him just how much every day that you took care of him. Please take care of yourself.
Its a very sad and painful story. But now you have to look to you. Of course January has only just past and grief takes a bit of time. If you find yourself having trouble letting go and moving on, then you should see a grief counsellor. I saw one once and i hadn't even lost someone to death but just a heartbreak. I was impressed how they worked to help me heal. Even just one session was useful for me.
If it is longer than two months, then you should get professional help. Of course you will be always sad when you think about your son but if you find you can't focus on anything else, never feel positive or look to the future and still find yourself eating to console yourself, then you need help.
I hope you can recover fairly soon and start trying to focus on your own health needs.
It may not be too early to see a dietician or nutritionist for help.
You are a very determined woman to have already lost 20 lbs on your weight loss journey. I applaud your strength. I don't know how long it would be after such a tragedy before I could do what I needed to do for me. You are an inspiration, and hopefully sharing your son's story may help others avoid the same.
Hugs.
Last edited by BettyBooty; 02-05-2014 at 06:48 AM.
I am very truly for your loss. and the story..No mother should ever have to go through that.
But those people are right.. He now is in a better place. with No weight issues and moving freely..
and just remember now he watches over you. He can give you the strength to stay healthy.. and get healthier..
May God Bless you... in this dark time..We are all here if you need a friend!
I am so sorry for your loss. You honor his life by sharing his story with us. Life can be so cruel, I can't imagine what he went through and how lucky he was to have you by his side.
I cannot imagine how difficult all this is for you and your family. I admire your courage to come here and tell us your story. Please keep us updated on how you are doing. Thank you for sharing.
I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved son Mary You did your best! it must have been hard to write and relive all that for us but it might help someone. I hope you will keep in touch and we are thinking and praying for some peace for you
I couldn't wait for 2013 to be over. I called it my worst year ever and was counting down the days till 2014 for a brand new start. My father died in January 2013, my brother just two years older than me died at the end of 2012 and then my son started getting worse in 2013, and we were both in a bad financial way. So I eagerly awaited a brand new start in 2014 only to lose my son in the first month.
I miss him soooo much!!! And I feel so alone and so scared. It doesn't feel like it will ever be better but people say it will get better in time. I don't see it. There is absolutely no joy in my life anymore. I just want to be with Gary...when the Lord is ready.
It does get easier over time but losing a hold is not something that ever goes away entirely so don't try to focus on that. Take all the time you need to grieve, and be strong for those who are left. I meant to ask before, how is everyone else in your family dealin with all this? I hope you can all e a source of strength and healing for eachother.
My younger son (26) grieved at first, but he is married and he and his brother were never as close as I always wished they were. He and his wife have moved on. And he is a very good son and I love him with all my heart but he is not Gary. Gary and I were super close and together everyday of the week, every week of the year.
My ex, too, grieved but has moved on too. He also has a new girlfriend that helps him through it.
My elderly mom grieves but is happy he is not suffering anymore.
My next youngest sister grieves for Gary but is more worried about me and has been staying most every night with me since he died. I keep trying to make it on my own and sending her home every now and then but I always break back down and have to call her back. I can't stand being alone.
My youngest sister lives in another state and feels bad for me and grieves for Gary. She has a demanding job, a family of her own and health problems of her own right now so I don't hear from her that often. But I know I am in her prayers.
Thank you for asking after my family and how they are doing.
My heart broke to read your post, I'm so sorry for your loss. My parents were never the same after my sister passed away tragically, no human being should ever have to experience that heartbreak.
Words seem so inadequate when something like this happens. I'm so sorry for your loss, justmary. I can't imagine what you must be going through. I hope you are able to find comfort in your faith and strength from the support of your loved ones as you grieve. Please take care of yourself and let us know how you're doing.
You did your best! it must have been hard to write and relive all that for us but it might help someone. I hope you will keep in touch and we are thinking and praying for some peace for you 
