[kaplods]

I just wanted to add that everything I've posted is simply a reflection of MY reality, because as much as I've tried to, I cannot step out of my reality into any one else's (I often believe that my experience, training, empathy, and insight allow me to get a glimpse into others' realities, and others have agreed with me, but that too is just as much a reflection of our individual realities as anything else).

Everyone, of course, has the right to agree or disagree with anything that I've said or will say, because that's your reality, and you have a right to it. I may try to persuade you to change your reality to fit mine in some ways, but you certainly have no obligation to. My reality is most real to me, by definition, but personally I can't say which of us would be closer to objective reality, or even if such a thing exists (I tend to believe not).

[CanadianMomma]

GlamourGirl I just wanted to add some food for thought, since you like to analyze what the possible cause of other's actions might be.

I grew up in a simliar rivalry with my own cousin, only I was the one considered the superior. Our mothers compared us constantly. I was always a strong student and obedient daughter. My cousin was similar to the way you describe yourself, hanging out with a rougher crowd, and had trouble in her relationship with her mom. My family always had more money than hers, etc, etc.

The ironic thing is because I was set up to be the 'superior' I always felt like I was suppose to follow that 'ideal' goal plan and failing to do so meant I was failing to be all I was 'suppose' to be. (And trust me I have definitely not followed the ideal.)

I guess what I'm trying to convey is that the pressure put on either cousin to fit a certain role (superior or inferior) is uncomfortable regardless of which role your suppose to be filling. I bet your cousin has suffered from the consistent comparison between both of you in her own way. No good comes from pigeonholing people, especially our children.

[Slush]

My brother told me to my face that he doesn't think I can do it. It made me laugh actually, which surprised me because coming from him it would usually hurt. He's just pissed because he's gained 70+ pounds from eating all the food in the house and doing nothing. He can't blame me for that, but it's whatever, because i'm not losing the weight for him, so I don't give a sh*t what he thinks, lol.

I can't wait to see the look on people's faces when I lose the weight MY way. I'm going to take lots and lots of pictures of their faces, lol.

[Palestrina]

There's no right or wrong here. I think the OP is allowing herself to get dragged into a competition that wasn't started by her and that is very old and moot. If you're happy with your life then let it go. If the cousin is making you uncomfortable then don't be around her. Silent competitions and unspoken hahas exist mostly in our heads, I see no solid proof by the original post that the cousin is rooting for the OP to fail. Or maybe those are old thought patterns that are rooted on past behaviors, this competition may exist only in your mind.

OP, if you value your cousin you'll look past her insecurities, you'll remain proud of your accomplishments but without gloating, and try to focus your relationship on who you are today, moving forward requires letting go of the past and you're relying on a competition that doesn't need to exist anymore. You can either both be loser or both be winners, it's as simple as choosing to be happy with what you have and learning to be happy for each other no matter how different your lives are.