At first thought, I think that he had the best intentions at heart and he shouldn't have refused you cake. For all he knows it was your treat. My second thoughts are that he should mind his own business! I think it's disgusting that he thinks it's OK to dangle it in front of you yet you have to cut out from your diet.
Was he flirting with you?
If you see him again next time you order cake, buy two slices and hide the second one in your bag when you sit down lol
If he was French, this would explain it. They are quite honest in their comments and voice criticism openly and do not follow the US tradition of being politically correct. French woman do not take it very personally. He may also just have been a bit flirtatious with you. After all, you did tell him a lot of personal stuff. This would have then nothing to do with food police. Just different cultures and mentalities.
I would have to say that under the circumstances you described that it is no big deal. My first thought is that you brought it up and he was probably just being funny and making light of you sharing some personal details. Now if he said "you need to lose weight so I'm cutting you off" or "I've noticed you have lost weight so I'm looking out for you", then that would be out of line. What you described however sounds very harmless and if you were really offended I would say to remind yourself that you walked into it and be more careful in the future with whom you choose to share sensitive details.
At first thought, I think that he had the best intentions at heart and he shouldn't have refused you cake. For all he knows it was your treat. My second thoughts are that he should mind his own business! I think it's disgusting that he thinks it's OK to dangle it in front of you yet you have to cut out from your diet.
Was he flirting with you?
If you see him again next time you order cake, buy two slices and hide the second one in your bag when you sit down lol
In all fairness she brought it up so it's hard to say he should mind his own business. He asked a harmless chit chat type of question and she opened the door on the weight discussion. Him minding his own business went out the window with the sharing of personal details. As they say, "Don't open the door if you don't want someone walking thought it."
I woulda been like, "Fine, I'll just go buy cake somewhere else instead. You lose the sale; I still get cake. Who's the real winner/loser in this situation?"
No business really has the right to refuse to sell food to a customer (assuming that customer is acting in a "normal" manner)
Sure they do.
Lunarsongbird - maybe he'd struggled with weight himself? Or has someone in his family who has? Who knows? It sounds as if he was trying to be helpful, but I wasn't there, so I can't be sure. You are the best judge of that.
If Lunar wasn't friendly with him and he refused the sale, there could have been huge repercussions for him. In a lawsuit happy nation, refusing service (which he essentially did) is a slippery slope.
And if I have the $$, I expect that a business sell me what they offer. If I want 10 buckets of KFC, who is anyone to judge whether I'm a size 2 or 22.
I bought a size Large top today. Can the clerk at Macy's tell me no, that my body would never fit in this? I think not.
bunnabear brings up a good point. To paraphrase her comment. Do not bring up your weight if you don't want anyone to talk about it. Once you mention that you are on a diet the Diet Police will appear and monitor everything you do food wise. I never tell anyone I am dieting I just let them think I am a picky eater ( I'm not) .
I think both sides of this conversation are quite strange. Why wouldn't you just explain your eating philosophy OR give your honest reaction to his comments. Instead, you played along. "What if I really wanted it?" Seems flirtatious, not offended. I personally wouldn't read anything negative or positive into the words without asking for more information. I rarely get offended or angry, and wouldn't have in a situation like this. What I would have done is ask, "What makes you think I can't lose weight and have a bit of cake now and again?" Or, "I didn't lose weight by forbidding myself occasional treats, I'm not going to start now" or even "Watching what I eat is my job, not yours, and if I need your help, I'll ask for it, " and no matter what I said or didn't say I probably wouldn't be angry, because I truly don't care enough about what strangers and acquaintences think of me for it to ruin or even affect my mood. Open hostility can even be amusing when you don't care what that person thinks.
Has anyone had a run in with the food police recently?
Can't say that's ever happened to me. Speaking of lemon (one of my favourite flavours), I was in Niagara-on-the-lake yesterday and bought a mini-lemon tart that was out of this world. You could tell it was made from the finest all-natural ingredients including real lemon, rather than that gawd-awful lemon concentrate stuff. It was just a biteful, but oh so satisfying.
In all fairness she brought it up so it's hard to say he should mind his own business. He asked a harmless chit chat type of question and she opened the door on the weight discussion. Him minding his own business went out the window with the sharing of personal details. As they say, "Don't open the door if you don't want someone walking thought it."
True, but there are boundaries too. He made a judgement and jumped to conclusions that she was cutting all sugar from her diet. She can do what she likes with her money and her weight.
As I said, I think he had the best intentions though. The more I read the scenario, the more it seems that he was being kind and looking out for lunarsongbird. I don't think there was any malice in there at all because 35lbs is a lot of weight. I do still think it was a little inappropriate though.
But... come on, i think you know what i mean. In this instance he didn't have the right to refuse to sell her anything. What about the gay couple that is suing the bakery in Oregon for refusing to sell to them because of their sexual orientation? hmmm
Last edited by 3fcuser291505109; 04-20-2013 at 10:25 PM.
I think he was either trying to be funny or supportive. He might have been flirting or just jokey because you have a good relationship and he thought it was appropriate. Possibly he has been in your situation and he thought it would help, or he has never tried to lose weight and he thought it would help! I just love helpful people
I must say that I think you handled it well, though, in any case. I have absolutely no idea what I would have done or said in your situation. I would have been completely taken by surprise and I think you did well! Congrats on your weight loss and your self control, both on not eating cake that you didn't want and on not hitting that guy in the face.
