Unna - could you link us to your post about "falling off the wagon"? It's another phrase which has never appealed to me, as it seems to inflate problems, plus I don't think addiction terminology should be used as standard by everyone trying to lose weight.
I've been watching this thread since it started and I think I finally can comment. I can see that we've entered a discussion about how we all feel about certain words and terms and I think we can all agree that the "correct" or "right" term for anything really depends on the individual.
Language also evolves over time and I think the terminology we use should evolve with it. Words that perhaps were just used to classify someone may now be considered offensive. Words that were commonplace 30, 40, 50 years ago may now be considered offensive. We can just shrug and say that these are "just words," but they're really not. These words incite feelings of hate and bring up the memories and history of that hate.
I'm part of two minority groups—I'm a woman and hispanic—and at one time I was almost into class II obesity so I have a very different perspective than others on this matter. What constitutes "just words" (whether in a racial or sexual sense) or simple medical terminology to someone else may be offensive to me. Should my feelings be dismissed because those words aren't offensive to someone else? No. My feelings should be considered as should the feelings of any affected population.
"Obesity," "morbid obesity," etc. are horrible terms that de-humanize people. It's not necessarily the medical profession's fault, but rather the way society has evolved to use those words. Right now we are bombarded with messages about "THE WAR ON OBESITY" or "THE OBESITY EPIDEMIC," which pull the individual out of the equation and make it about a "thing." The person who happens to be obese is no longer a person, but a thing that must be battled and corrected. It's a very slippery slope and probably helps fuel all of the size discrimination we see. I don't have a replacement word, but referring to anyone who is obese by another word may serve to: a) not make them feel horrible and, b) humanize them because they are a person.
I think I've slipped off-topic a bit here, but I think the discussion was going in this direction. I apologize if that wasn't the intention of the current discussion though.
Overall, I tend not to label anything I'm doing because it's not routine. I do what I need to do at the time. It works for me. It's when I don't do that that I have issues.
But I don't shy away from the technical terms like overweight or obese. "Fat" is, oddly, one that hurts. Probably because it was used in jokes, jabs and insults directed toward me while I was growing up.
I think overall it's the meaning behind the word, not the word itself. It's what's meant by it. If someone called me "morbidly obese" and simply meant that I was overweight to the point of having health problems, then it's purely descriptive. But many times terms aren't used that way.
For the same reason, I dislike lifestyle change, diet (in the "I'm on a diet" sense - I've never said that, actually), and any sort of moral connection with eating (cheesecake isn't making me bad, and beets aren't making me good).
Words are just words; one doesn't mean more than another to me, or take the sting out of the number on the scale or the higher measurements. Fat, overweight, obese. Diet, lifestyle-change, etc. It all means the same thing in the end to me, so I don't worry about it.
In thinking of American pounds vs European stones.... "Pounds & stones
may break my bones
but words can never hurt me"
Last edited by Beach Patrol; 12-14-2011 at 02:23 PM.
Sorry, but I disagree. Words are how we think and communicate with others, they're supremely important. And I know that you're joking by using that little rhyme, but it has traditionally been used as a way to shut up children who are being bullied.
Sorry, but I disagree. Words are how we think and communicate with others, they're supremely important. And I know that you're joking by using that little rhyme, but it has traditionally been used as a way to shut up children who are being bullied.
I'm a writer - so I understand about words & that they're supremely important. But for me, and this is just my opinion about how I feel - fat/obese/overweight - it's all the same thing. TO ME. It has the same meaning. FOR ME. And the topic from the OP was Which terms relating to weight loss do you like to use, or prefer to avoid? That's my answer.
And I did say
Quote:
It all means the same thing in the end to me
Whether you agree or not really is a "moo point" ... like a cow's opinion, it doesn't matter. and yes, of course I was joking, but WTH, sometimes I do that.
Last edited by Beach Patrol; 12-14-2011 at 03:12 PM.
Boy, this thread has really grown overnight; and I wasn't aware just how many terms people don't like (now I am). I use some of them myself ... oops. But seriously, I know that none are meant to offend others, and we are all entitled to our opinions, and our own personal likes & dislikes ...
I don't really mind if a doctor or nurse uses a clinical descripton, as I understand they are doing it for medical reasons. In my previous post, I was referring to ordinary people who use medical terminology in a derogatory manner -- i.e. to give people a piece of their mind. To them I say, mind your own bees' wax.
I don't need someone else to tell me I am overweight (fat, obese) or whatever; I already know that (as I stated before). If you really want to help me -- pray for me or give me some good, helpful, practical advice; and when I ask for it. If I don't, then don't ...
That's what I like about this site; we can converse with people who are (Ok, I won't say on the same journey) fightin' the same battle? And, we offer support to each other -- but no, I don't get offended too often by the terminology used here ... well, not much.
It actually ticks me off when my friend says that "oh, you're being good" in a tone...as if what I am eating has actually offended her!
Last week we were at a Christmas party and rather than eat the pasta covered in cream sauce I had a salad with shrimp. The next day she told me that I was "making her crazy" because I didn't eat the pasta...really?????
I usually focus more on the intent than the actual word choice. For example earlier this fall a friend (who happens to be a personal trainer,no less) called me "skinny" in response to something I said about skinny jeans being for skinny people. To him "skinny" in that particular sentence meant attractive or something of that nature. That whole exchange was actually a NSV for me.
That said, obese or "oh beasts" is an ugly sounding word. One of my personal pet peeves is "full figured" in reference to my bra size. I'm not a plus size; I just have a large chest! And while I'm on the subject, I hate "plus size". Why are there plus sizes? Why aren't there just sizes? In the same vein, I loathe "short" as a length of pants. Short is not helpful. I really don't want to guess whether or not the manufacturer thinks I'm "short". I want to know the inseam measurement of the pants! I need a 31" inseam not some clothing company's judgment on my height.
Somewhat off topic here but I despise the whole BMI system. At, over, or under-"normal" weight based on what? Just height?! By BMI standards a lower weight individual who never exercises is viewed as "healthier" than a higher weight person who may be in great shape! And where are they getting this "normal"? How was "normal" established and what does it mean? I think medical professionals could better judge your overall condition just by looks than by using this stupid formula. In my opinion, someone with good muscle tone, little visible fat, visible collarbone, etc. is at a healthy weight regardless of BMI.
Last edited by January Snow; 12-14-2011 at 04:53 PM.
I don't use the words fat, or overweight, or obese, or morbidly obese. I personally use the wording weight-challenged.
However I am sorry for those individuals who are so hurt when someone uses the fat, etc. terminology.
Therefore I suggest, since we are all adults, that we toughen up a bit and REFUSE to let these words hurt us, or diminish us, or cause us to have a huge binge.
They are just words, after all, and life is too short to worry about stupid words and/or stupid people.
I agree that sitting around sulking because someone else used a slightly different term, with no malicious intent, is a waste of time. There's no reason why we shouldn't discuss how language interacts with weight loss, however. Many people have found that changing the words they use can make a crucial difference to their mindset. For example, some people use words to help them retreat into denial about a weight problem, because they are so upset by the words which carry a high level of social stigma, such as "fat" or "obese", that they can't possibly imagine applying them to themselves. Other people have a very particular idea of what a "diet" is, and find that switching to another phrase such as "lifestyle change" helps them let go of unhealthy weight loss practices in favour of healthier ones. I'd be interested to hear from anyone who has found language important with regard to bingeing or eating disorders. I've certainly found that for friends with anorexia, there can be a battle the moment someone tells them that they are looking "thin", and even more so if more loaded words such as "skeletal". (Incidentally, I do wish my support worker would stop telling me that I'm "wasting away" as an intended compliment. Getting into the whole fake-insult/compliment approach tends to mean weird power games. I could probably spend a page analysing why my mother feels the need to comment that certain people look like they've come out of Belsen, but frankly it would be too depressing.)
Language can also be a key component in bullying, both of individuals and the larger-scale problem of institutionalised fatphobia. Many of us here have been bullied for being overweight, or bullied for other reasons, and the choice of words can be extremely important. Being overweight is becoming increasingly stigmatised, and language is a big part of how this is happening.
and yes, of course I was joking, but WTH, sometimes I do that. 
But seriously, I know that none are meant to offend others, and we are all entitled to our opinions, and our own personal likes & dislikes ... 
