[Esofia]

Originally Posted by Steph7409

This. It's a short step from that kind of thinking to blaming people who get cancer.

And unfortunately this is surprisingly common. I expect to get people blaming me for having an invisible illness where the fact that it's hugely disabling and has quite a death rate isn't talked about (ME/CFIDS; incidentally I learned yesterday that it apparently knocks about 25 years off your life expectancy on average, and I have it severely, so I'm still in shock about that). It's horrible but I'm used to it by now. What really surprised me was when my mother mentioned that when she had cancer, people kept on blaming her for that, and you'd think cancer patients wouldn't get that nonsense, since people are relatively sympathetic about cancer. Apparently it was her fault that she wasn't yet cured because she wasn't doing enough positive thinking/yoga/eating raw vegetables/whatever.

[JayEll]

Yeah, positive thinking doesn't necessarily change the situation or outcome. That's not the idea. What it changes is the person's attitude toward what's happening.

I saw a cancer doctor quoted recently. He said that he had had patients with the most upbeat, positive attitude in the world die in under six months, and other patients who were totally negative about everything live on and on for years. His point was what's been stated above: having a "good attitude" is not the whole story.

I guess it's a matter of how one personally wants to live--in a cloud of negativity, or a cloud of positivity. I'd rather feel positive about my progress, whatever it may be.

Jay

[goodbyefatness]

Interesting to see different peoples views!

For me, i can never lose weight when im not focused mentally - i have to be in the "zone" lol

[Esofia]

JayEll - Good point. Positive realism, maybe? With chronic illness, you end up living in a weird sort of doublethink. On the one hand, you don't want to be living in a cloud of negativity, it's unpleasant for you and everyone around you and it can hinder certain things. Sitting around all day thinking, "Woe, woe, woe!" doesn't get you anywhere. On the other hand, this can end up sliding you into a state of denial. At worst you can end up refusing to believe that you're really ill, including such dangerous actions as refusing essential medical treatment and also driving your nearest and dearest up the wall. When it's done reasonably healthily, it tends to involve pootling along in a fairly chirpy state and not thinking too much about things you can't help, and then having a dickens of a time readjusting when you really do have to pay attention to the bad stuff, say for talking to a doctor or filling out welfare benefits forms.

I'm not entirely sure how that applies to weight loss, but I have noticed the doublethink thing going on here as well. You need to accept that you're overweight and need to lose the extra weight, and that it's difficult and hard work to do so, but dwelling on how unpleasant it is to be overweight and how tough the weight loss process is can tip you over into feeling so miserable that you curl into a ball and give up on the whole thing.

[twinieten]

I like how Jay put it. I love the idea of "The Secret" and thinking and believing will make it happen..... it doesn't work. I can't even understand people who constantly think so positively all of the time, at the expense of just letting themselves feel what they feel. C'mon... wallow in some self pity once in a while! Then wipe the tears and move on!

However, I find that my attitude does affect my behavior. I tend to make better choices, feel like I have more control, exercise more often, and feel better in general if I keep my thoughts positive.

I'm not losing weight fast. I'm often frustrated with the whole thing. But the moment I start feeling defeated, and I start thinking about how it's just not working and it's never going to work, that's when trouble starts. That's when I lose control, and lose my focus. That's when I gain a few.

I do think what you think affects what you feel. And what you feel and think affects your progress and goals. Sometimes results have to fuel the thoughts, and sometimes the thoughts have to keep you going in order to achieve results. Negative self talk won't get you as far.