then I have to do my nails and figure out an outfit for tomorrow... geez! Seems like a lot of work to go through for something that will be fruitless, but if they are going through the motions, I suppose I should too
Itsmyturn Think positive. You never know what's in store for you. You never know. You may not get this position, but it may get your supervisor thinking about something even more exciting for you. Put your best foot forward and think positive. I am sending you good vibes for tomorrow. :
Please all bear with me as I'm dealing with Day one of TTOM and the @#$(*@) emotions that come with it, but darn it.... I'm tired of being hungry. I'm tired of having to think about every bite I put in my mouth. I'm tired of worrying if I got a workout in or not. There are days when I think of all those years I just ate what I wanted because it tasted good. Now, I think so much and while I only eat food I enjoy. I'm never 'full'. I can't be like Diana and just eat a head of broccoli. I think I would actually gag with trying to eat a veggie when my body craves a sweet. Basically, I hate days like these. Why can't more days be easy where I'm not hungry and I'm happy with what I'm doing. Those seem to be getting fewer and farther between.
I'm really hoping getting back to the gym will help me out with my head. I really do.
Berryblondeboys-- stick with it! When your Tom is over my bet is that you'll be so happy with yourself for sticking with it... I hope the exercise helped you feel better! Today's 8 days of no binges but I'm having a hard time with the cold weather blues and the family drama that comes with the holidays for me... If anyone has any winter tips I'd sure like to heat them! But reporting on here makes me a liar if I binge tonight, so I think I'm at least ok until tomorrow... Thanks for all of the support and warm welcomes... Happy november!
Up at 4.15, not really a surprise as I went to bed before 10. I needed it, I was tired
Berry you've come so far and frustration sometimes happens in anything we do. Just think how many other things you done so well in over the past years and have asked yourself why do I bother? But the end result is always more satisfying than we think it will be. It might only be satisfying to us because no other has gone through all that you have. Off days, are days, we're not perfect. The beauty of this is it always welcomes us back, there are no deadlines. TOM is a jerk, no doubt, but you're a strong woman. You haven't been exercising in a long time, so I'm thinking you're forgetting that 'high'. Sure you got to drag yourself there, but afterwards you always report on how good you felt/feel. I really think that's what you need. Sweets are for the moment and I know (so know) that means nothing when you're in that moment. But healthy is for a lifetime. Don't beat yourself up especially during this time, it's not fair to yourself. Stay strong and healthy
danzingurl hot tea, warm blankets, a pet (I have a dog) to cuddle. Those are all I got. I have no heat in my house upstairs so I know cold. I am demanding to hear and 9 day report...stay strong.
Sum you make me laugh. I wish we could meet in person, you'd be so surprised. I thank you for the compliments on my eloquence (minus typing errors) when posting. Oh if you could see me in person and the way I interact, you would laugh; not at me, but in understanding and confusion. I really am a spaz when it comes to interacting with even everyday people. Even getting married, my DH said he was worried I'd cluck like a chicken. I don't know what it is about people, but they bring the ridiculous out in me. Most times people just think I'm quirky. But I've been called other things too. I once had to call DH's old secretary and apologize to her b/c she thought I was rude. DH made me Now I ramble on before I even get to the point of why I've called. I'm really very childlike now that I have a stable home and someone to take care of me-and yep, the shrinks say its because I didn't have a childhood. Course I already knew that. I am smart after all....confidence is back. I really needed yesterday's walk.
ItsMyTurn I'm with Diana on this one. So say this opportunity door doesn't open, you've been getting training and someone has their eye on you. If it's not this one, another door could be coming around the corner. So slap that polish on and hold that head up high and all the while think in your head "I am woman, hear me roar!" That will make them hear, see you and know you. Stay positive, girl.
Vixsin I am sorry about the power outage, as Irene was not that long ago and I remember all too well. Except, it's cold now, so you have it much worse. How is Maxwell doing with this? I hope it comes on soon. We lost a lot of power here in CT too. I really am not sure why. At least here on the coast, it was nothing in comparison to last years 3 storms in a row. IDK sometimes I wonder city workers are looking down holes all day long just referred to yesterday. Ha.
My plans today are laundry and to get my chicken scratch into the computer. The story is getting good. At least in it's writer's eyes. DH is off to Boston this lovely cold morning. He did move my car just in case the ding dongs come back and reopen that hole. I swear if they do, I'm walking out there and am going to stare in it for a good long time and if they ask why, I'm going to tell them I was wondering what was so fascinating that they had to stare for hours into it yesterday. I'm feeling back to my old playful self...guess the Lamictal is working
I wish I had time for personals for everyone but I am falling asleep at the keyboard here, but know that I read all your posts and am thinking about yall and sending positive energy your way! Hugs to everyone struggling, I hope that tomorrow is a brighter easier day! berryblondeboys I just wanted to tell you I understand everything you are feeling. I am eating vegetarian 6 days a week and I am honest to goodness HATE AN DESPISE every bite of it. I miss cheeseburgers and sugar and all the bad stuff and feeling full and beyond satisfied. I truely miss all that bad stuff. But when those thoughts creep in I try really hard to think about where that kind of living got me and I dont want the consequences of living that way any longer. We all know how you feel and I am sure we all go through days like that. Hopefully its just hormonal and in a day or two it will pass. I told DH that changing our eating habits has been harder than when I quit smoking 6 years ago. Way harder.
Berry I'm sure it's the hormones from TTOM. Hang in there. Do you like cottage cheese? I like to put a little pumpkin butter on it. It's a good amount of protein with a little sweet. I wonder if you are having cravings from the cookies the other day? Every time I have a splurge I have to deal with cravings afterward. Since you can't get to the gym, can you workout at home? I know you worked out at home in the beginning. I think working out will help, too. Hang in there.
Hi everyone. Not much to report, same darn weight on the scale as yesterday and expecting TOM to visit today. Lets get this thing over with already, I feel like my body has been gearing up for way too long! Last night was so uncomfortable, I woke up soaked (from sweat) a couple times last night. Yuck. Not sure if it is hormones (likely) or just that it was too warm (maybe), but not a good feeling. Silly me thought maybe my body was trying to get rid of some water weight, but noooooo, the scale wants to be the same same same same same same same same for at least 18 days in a row with me. My body likes equilibrium. Unless of course it has the opportunity to add weight, it likes that too.
I have to say to the newbies, I am sorry I am a little bit of a downer this week, I am usually not like this and would love to offer my support and personals, but just not feeling it this week. I will be back to the old me, I promise! I figure the oldies know me enough to know this is just a rough patch. Berry, I am struggling too It does seem so overwhelming at the moment when you are hungry and craving junk or sweets. Just do the best you can for that moment. Chalk it up to hormones, wait them out and do your thing when you are feeling better. I am sitting here today, waiting it out with you! I have felt like poop all week and all I want to do is eat. We can get through this
I am telling you guys, I know for me I have gained most of my weight through the years during PMS. This is something I have become very aware of through this journey and something I am going to find a solution to! I just haven't found it yet. Maybe something herbal like evening primrose, I dunno, but I do know there is an imbalance and it feels terrible!
I just don't have a problem with food the other 3 weeks of the month except maybe a day or two around ovulation, but for the most part, I just eat when hungry and eat sensible portions of mostly healthy food. But during PMS, watch out!!! It's like I have an alter ego that comes out and she wants to be fat and unhealthy!
Well, I hope everyone else has a wonderful day today! We are expecting some sunshine today, so my goal is to try to get out and get some much needed vitamin D. The other goal is to try to get my calorie burn over 3000 today. Lately I am hitting around 2700 but letting my mood make me lazy. I need to get some things done today and have that good feeling at the end of the day like I accomplished something. I will try to report back, need to stay accountable!!!
Thanks everyone. I hate, hate, hate female hormones and what they do to my mood. DH said on Monday, Yes, you were crabby today. And I probably was. Last night I just felt myself sinking deeper and deeper for no reason. ugh...
Hi everyone. Not much to report, same darn weight on the scale as yesterday and expecting TOM to visit today. Lets get this thing over with already, I feel like my body has been gearing up for way too long! Last night was so uncomfortable, I woke up soaked (from sweat) a couple times last night. Yuck. Not sure if it is hormones (likely) or just that it was too warm (maybe), but not a good feeling. Silly me thought maybe my body was trying to get rid of some water weight, but noooooo, the scale wants to be the same same same same same same same same for at least 18 days in a row with me. My body likes equilibrium. Unless of course it has the opportunity to add weight, it likes that too.
I have to say to the newbies, I am sorry I am a little bit of a downer this week, I am usually not like this and would love to offer my support and personals, but just not feeling it this week. I will be back to the old me, I promise! I figure the oldies know me enough to know this is just a rough patch. Berry, I am struggling too It does seem so overwhelming at the moment when you are hungry and craving junk or sweets. Just do the best you can for that moment. Chalk it up to hormones, wait them out and do your thing when you are feeling better. I am sitting here today, waiting it out with you! I have felt like poop all week and all I want to do is eat. We can get through this
I am telling you guys, I know for me I have gained most of my weight through the years during PMS. This is something I have become very aware of through this journey and something I am going to find a solution to! I just haven't found it yet. Maybe something herbal like evening primrose, I dunno, but I do know there is an imbalance and it feels terrible!
I just don't have a problem with food the other 3 weeks of the month except maybe a day or two around ovulation, but for the most part, I just eat when hungry and eat sensible portions of mostly healthy food. But during PMS, watch out!!! It's like I have an alter ego that comes out and she wants to be fat and unhealthy!
Well, I hope everyone else has a wonderful day today! We are expecting some sunshine today, so my goal is to try to get out and get some much needed vitamin D. The other goal is to try to get my calorie burn over 3000 today. Lately I am hitting around 2700 but letting my mood make me lazy. I need to get some things done today and have that good feeling at the end of the day like I accomplished something. I will try to report back, need to stay accountable!!!
Jomatho, I'm sorry you are feeling it too. It sucks! And seeing the scale stay stuck isn't helping your mood, I know!
Today is day 2 for me and hopefully the moods will start to lift after today, but lately day 3 has been bad for me too, so we'll see. But, I asked for cuddles from DH last night and he gave them, so that helped me a bit as I fell asleep. And I didn't give into the the sweets yesterday and I'm going to plan to eat super low carb today to just kick this sweet tooth thing in the butt!
Thank you Diana and Mamakat - I really am trying not to think too negatively, yet have been trying for a new position since October of last year without success; and this job is one of those positions that opens doors... so kind of frustrating to see the obvious in front of me - yet... it also seems strange that I landed the interview when I thought the position was closed now too... dang, I hate not knowing..
berry - it's probably TOM playing with ya hon... if it's sweet you crave, how about a sugar free fudgicle? They don't taste sugar free and it's what my mom and I use when we really need sweet and nothing but - and they are below 90 calories and give you that sweetness? Worth a shot
danzing - 8 days without a binge is wonderful! You are keeping it one day at a time and that is how success is designed Congrats!!!
Mamakat - you should ask how much they get paid for looking in the hole.... then when they ask you what you are doing when you are standing and looking in it too (if it reopens), simply state "on the job training", LMBO!!!! I am so easily entertained sometimes! I am glad your story is coming along well!!!
madzmadz - No worries on the personals, just keep on fighting the good fight! New lifestyles are tough, but, I am glad you have DH doing it with you
Well, last night I did get on elliptical. I was only able to do it for 20 mins, 10 mins shy of my normal time - but I feel pretty accomplished nonetheless I also got my acrylic nails on and painted... I kept them pretty mute for the interview today, but tonight will so be doing my dark pink sparkly accented tip look... I am so not a "muted" sort of personality... I am a pink, blingy, type of personality, lol. However, right now they are a super pale pink that has a frost to them... will be wearing a very sophisticated flowy brown dress... took me quite a while to decide on what to wear... and then of course my heels - but I wear heels almost every day (yes, even on weekends when not at work... weird right? I LOVE my heels). Ok... off to finish getting ready for work... have to leave in an hour at 5:30 or I will end up stuck in rush hour traffic
About the hormonal thing. Remember I was having issues with night sweats/hot flashes at night, around TTOM? In my research I found out that evening primrose oil and fish oil (omega 3) seem to help a lot of women.
Last year when I started having the food allergy thing, I stopped taking my fish oil. I thought I was allergic to seafood at the time. I just started taking fish oil again a couple weeks ago. It's hard finding a product that does not contain soy, carob powder, or some other crap that I am allergic to. I also started taking that menopause product right before and during TTOM. It has definitely helped with the night sweats/hot flashes at night. I haven't had them since starting with that product. I am still taking the PMS formula during TTOM. I think it really helps with the emotional stuff during TTOM, too.
Went to my fiance's grandmothers again for dinner. Had her homemade chicken noodles & mashed potatoes. Also ate my feelings in 260 calories of chocolate yesterday.
Definitely wasn't a good day, started out great and then I just plummeted to the bottom.
Today is a new day though and I'm hopeful. Scale hasn't seen 161 in a couple days, and I'm starting to get discouraged. But I did have taco salad and chicken noodles w/ mashed potatoes the past two nights, so it might be that my body isn't handling the sodium well. Idk...gotta keep my chin up though.
Dinner:
No clue! I might have to have eggs again or ramen noodles. Really low on food -- especially since I just discovered mice got into my instant oatmeal and devoured it all I get paid in two days, just gotta make it on what crummy stuff I have left!
berryblondeboys - Try getting some of the Skinny Cow ice cream snacks for your TOM. I eat those when I'm on TOM and they usually help with my cravings, they are actually really good! Though, I've found that I can't have the French Vanilla ice cream bars in my house, they are way too good and I can't control myself. I usually stick with the ice cream sandwiches.
Last edited by KaylaChristine; 11-02-2011 at 09:28 AM.
:
you've come so far and frustration sometimes happens in anything we do. Just think how many other things you done so well in over the past years and have asked yourself why do I bother? But the end result is always more satisfying than we think it will be. It might only be satisfying to us because no other has gone through all that you have. Off days, are days, we're not perfect. The beauty of this is it always welcomes us back, there are no deadlines. TOM is a jerk, no doubt, but you're a strong woman. You haven't been exercising in a long time, so I'm thinking you're forgetting that 'high'. Sure you got to drag yourself there, but afterwards you always report on how good you felt/feel. I really think that's what you need. Sweets are for the moment and I know (so know) that means nothing when you're in that moment. But healthy is for a lifetime. Don't beat yourself up especially during this time, it's not fair to yourself. Stay strong and healthy 
Now I ramble on before I even get to the point of why I've called. I'm really very childlike now that I have a stable home and someone to take care of me-and yep, the shrinks say its because I didn't have a childhood. Course I already knew that. I am smart after all....confidence is back. I really needed yesterday's walk.
just referred to yesterday. Ha.
