So, a girl from work invited me to take a fitness group class with her. I put it off for WEEKS... finally, I thought "Sure, why not!?"
Now here I am, 1 hr away from going to the class and I've got cold feet! I have cold feet for a few reasons...
1.) Its at a "real" gym. Its not a 24hr fitness "all levels, beginners welcome" step aerobic class. It is at a professional boxing gym, no air conditioning, no televisions, no elliptical machines and colorful stabilization balls. Its a hard-core, real gym. This is very intimidating to me.
2.) My friend is super fit. The friend that is coming with us is super fit. They are both tri-athletes. One of our mutual friends admitted that this class "kicked her butt!" I really don't want to look like the fat friend having a coronary in the corner.
3.) My BF keeps reminding me that I shouldn't do things that "you can't do". He is a constant bird in my ear about how uncoordinated I am (which is true, I trip on flat surfaces), how I don't have any upper body strength (which is true) and that if I do things that I can't do, I will only end up hurting myself. He has, in general, had a difficult time with my weight loss and change of life-style feeling very insecure, which he tends to take out on me. I've just had to learn to push past it... but in times like this, when even I'M not sure if I can do this, his doubting thomas words don't help.
4.) I avoid going to the gym at peak times to avoid super good looking men. I get really self conscious... so here we go - a gym full of hot-fighter-guys. I even went to the website and looked up the class instructor. He is GORGEOUS. Now, I REALLY don't want to look like a lard-butt.
.... I don't know. I'm freaking out. Uncomfortable place, beautiful people, people who can out-athlete me, what if I can't keep up, what if it's so bad that I give up?! Then I'll be the fat girl that couldn't even get through class!!! EEKKKKKKK!!!
At the same time, what if I *CAN* do it? What if I LIKE how it makes my body feel? What if I'm stronger than I think I am?? Also, all I want in life is to BE one of those fit girls! I am not a fit girl BECAUSE I avoided situations that would make me healthier, stronger, harder, whatever... and I will ONLY get to where I want to be if I push myself outside of my comfort zone and work harder. And really? What is 1 hour? I can do an hour? Right? .... right? ... 60 pounds to go... 60. It feels like an INSURMOUNTABLE number and I need to do things like this to make it 59 pounds to go... :-\
I canceled on her twice already, I can't cancel a third time. I have to go.... but I keep rehearsing scenarios in my head. EEKK!!
Come on, ladies. Tell me stories of you pushing yourself into situations that scare the fat-girl in you. Tell me stories of success. I need it.
Instead of worrying about the reasons you might not be able to do it, or might look bad doing it, think about how much more able you are to give this class a shot now than you were 41lbs ago. Would you have even dreamed about doing this when you started your journey?
Don't let your boyfriend get you down. You might be a klutz, but there's nothing stopping you from challenging yourself to improve your health. Lots of people trip (and I have the scars to prove it!). You've already improved yourself in so many ways already; what's to stop you from making one more giant step forward? His insecurities shouldn't become yours. You deserve to give this class a shot!
As for my success story, climbing a mountain scared the bejeezus out of the fat girl in me (the same fat girl who tried and failed to climb that mountain last year!). But I did it. I climbed a not insubstantial mountain (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mount_Haku), drank a beer at the summit and then fought my way back down. If I can do that, you can absolutely take on this class.
A year ago, exactly, I could only run for about 5 minutes-slowly-without stopping. This past Sunday, I ran 20 miles with only very short water breaks, in final training for a marathon on Dec. 4th. I am telling you with all honesty, not to blow smoke up your a*s, that you CAN do this. You have to believe that you can. Take every sentence that you typed with negative connotations about your health and fitness and turn it around and say something positive. It may sound corny, but it absolutely works. I ran my first 1/2 marathon in March. Since then, I have run 7 more. I remember my husband secretly telling my oldest son that he didn't think there was any way I was going to be able to run a full marathon. I love my husband dearly, but even if it's only to myself, I can't wait to cross the finish line so that I can think "IN YOUR FACE BUSTER!" I DID IT!!!!
You can do this. I believe in you. Please let us know how it goes.
You are stronger than you think you are! You can do it!
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Come on, ladies. Tell me stories of you pushing yourself into situations that scare the fat-girl in you. Tell me stories of success. I need it.
My DH does deadlifts with about 180-300 lbs of weight. He's fitter and stronger than I am. I had been exercising, and he suggested I do deadlifts.... so I go over to the weights and bend over and pick it up and ask "is my back straight?" I didn't really have trouble picking it up but he FREAKED out and was like "I didn't mean THOSE that's 190 lbs!!! Don't hurt yourself!!!" He thought I would have hurt my back - and if I had known how much weight it was I probably would have thought that too, but in reality I just was able to deadlift more than my own body weight and not break my back.... in fact it was easy! So I am stronger - even though I haven't lost much weight - the exercising has made me more fit... even my husband is shocked at how strong I've become just from working out. So I'm not really the fat chick - I'm the strong chick, and you can be too!
I walked a half marathon and completed it. And raised $1500 for disease while doing it that I knew nothing about. Neurofibromatosis.
NEVER did either before in my life and it is one of my best memories. And I was still plus size when I did it. I'm bigger plus size now, but I look back at it and think -- dagnabbit! I did it once! I can get to that point and do it AGAIN! And this time I will pick a disease I have -- PCOS -- or one relatives have -- Diabetes.
So... step outside your comfort zone and give it a try. Even if you don't like this particular class --you are exploring and many steps ahead of the people who never have the gumption to just... go for it and see!
3.) My BF keeps reminding me that I shouldn't do things that "you can't do". He is a constant bird in my ear about how uncoordinated I am (which is true, I trip on flat surfaces), how I don't have any upper body strength (which is true) and that if I do things that I can't do, I will only end up hurting myself.
Just because you don't have upper body strength )or any other specific ability) doesn't mean that you will hurt yourself by trying something new. Heck, doing something new will make you stronger! Just make sure you're using proper form, and you'll safely become more fit than you (or he!) thought possible!
First and foremost thank you everyone for your inspiring stories and your encouragement! I read them all while I was sitting in the parking lot of the boxing gym trying to find my courage. It really helped.
Anyhoo - I went in, I signed up for the class.
I'm glad my friend was there because I was able to follow her lead. They certainly didn't explain the movements or the format. She walked over, grabbed a jump rope and handed me one and said "Warm up time." - Dread washed over me. JUMP ROPE? I can't do that! I trip on it. My fat jiggles all over the place. But I CERTAINLY was not going to be the fat girl who doesn't do the work. If I can help it, I will only stand out by being the only fat girl there, I will NOT stand out as the fat AND lazy one who doesn't at least TRY. I really had to mentally push myself to remember that fit people in the gym USUALLY look at the fat people there and think "Good for you!" - so I was going to find a way to be THAT person. So I concentrated, and I jumped rope. And I only tripped a little bit, and I suppressed my desire to stop and gasp for air. I just kept going.
The class went on from there and it was really, really, really hard. In that 1 hour, I was pushed far harder than I ever actually pushed myself in the gym. Tons of lunges, tons of ab work... Doing things I never considered doing.
I nearly collapsed the floor twice -- but I didn't. I kept pace with everyone. I did not sit anything out. Maybe I didn't do as many reps as everyone else, maybe my form wasn't as strong as everyone else. When he had us doing crunches and hitting ourselves in the abs with each crunch, I was most certainly the only person there who had a big roll of fat I was smacking around, but whatever.... None of that matters because I DID IT!!
Walking out, I felt GREAT. My muscles were so fatigued, they were shaking but I was so pumped, I drove from that gym to my regular gym and did ANOTHER 30 minutes of hard cardio and some weight lifting before coming home and taking a blissful cold shower.
I felt great and I am so, so, so, proud of myself! AND I learned something about myself --- You see, I have the Insanity program at home. I really want to do it, but I kept trying it at home and thinking I was just too out of shape to handle it. Today I learned that I'm not too out of shape to it, I just never pushed myself hard enough. Today I learned what I was capable of simply because of a petrified fear of looking dumb in front of other people and if Insanity was a group class, I'd be able to do that too. I'm going to start to do Insanity on Monday along with my regular workouts and push myself with all that I just learned about myself. I CAN DO IT!
Last edited by GonnaTurnHeads; 10-20-2011 at 02:28 AM.
OK you really need to tell your boyfriend to stop being so negative and take a hike with his comments!
You just got to tell yourself YOU CAN DO IT!!
I go to a gym & attend all the aerobics classes they have and the spin classes and I'm usually the biggest person in the class. Yea it sucks to always be the biggest but I keep telling myself I will soon be thin When I 1st started it was very intimidating, being around all those itty bitty bodied girls, I even felt like I was gonna pass out at my 1st spin & aerobics class, but i told myself that there is just way too many people in this class to give up & walk out so I stayed with it & persevered! I even had a jerk of an instructor who acted like i was to big to do certain moves, which made me so upset I almost reported her, but decided not too, instead I decided to show her I could do it & go just as hard if not harder then any of these other people.
& thats EXACTLY what I been doing. You have to prove to yourself that you can do it. You start speaking positive words into your head, you will start living them. It will be hard at first, but like anything else the more you do it the more you will want to do it and the better you will get at it. I PROMISE!
SO please go with your friend! Don't make anymore excuses! You'll feel so much better that you did.
Also, this may sound weird or whatever, but stop making excuses to your friend. Stop giving "thin & fit" people reason to believe the stereotype that "big" people are lazy and/or can't do it. Honestly, thats what really motivated me when I go to classes, surrounded by other people, especially the thinner girls, I make myself go hard and really push myself just to prove that I can do it and that just bc I'm bigger that does not mean I cant go hard and finish!
I even had this happen to me on 2 different occasions, this one girl said to me "I don't know how you come here everyday, I can only do this twice a week and thats a good week, I give you props!" I just smiled and said "I'M DETERMINED TO BE FIT"! & when I took a boot camp class this girl infront of me turned around & said " YOU'RE MAKING THIS LOOK SO EASY & LIKE ITS NOT EVEN HARD TO YOU"! I just said "OH ITS HARD TRUST ME"
Just do it girl, stop thinking about all the negatives and focus on the positives
Sorry I rambled on just had alot to tell ya hehehe
As for my success story, climbing a mountain scared the bejeezus out of the fat girl in me (the same fat girl who tried and failed to climb that mountain last year!). But I did it. I climbed a not insubstantial mountain (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mount_Haku), drank a beer at the summit and then fought my way back down. If I can do that, you can absolutely take on this class.
Similar success story here - I hiked this mountain in Korea at 240 pounds.
Just about killed me. Hiked it with my boyfriend and at one point I actually sat down, had a breakdown, and cried. Yup, cried. But I stuck with it - all 888 steps to reach the summit, and it's one of the things I really remember.
You can do it. Just realize it might hurt, but you CAN do it.
Oh, and the guy who was my boyfriend at the time is now my husband, so he wasn't too put-off by my ugly-cry on the mountain. We laugh about it still.
Good for you! I'm so happy that you made yourself go in and you DID it!
My girlfriend had a very similar experience with a boxing gym except that she didn't go with two fit friends. She went by herself. She almost died of exhaustion the first time, and felt out of place and fat and out of shape, but she did it. Four months later she is still going - not just keeping up, but doing as well as some of the skinny people in the class, and she has dropped 15 pounds!
Sometimes the first step is the hardest. I'm super happy for you.
Help!! I'm getting in my own way!!
60 pounds to go... 60. It feels like an INSURMOUNTABLE number and I need to do things like this to make it 59 pounds to go... :-\
EEKK!! 
But I stuck with it - all 888 steps to reach the summit, and it's one of the things I really remember. 
