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Old 08-10-2007, 01:38 AM   #1  
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Wink Help I'm stuck at 320 and can't go down!!!

Hi all! I'm new so please bear with me if I start to ramble! First a little about me...I'm 32 years old and I'm like alot of folks out there in the respect that I'm an emotional eater. Happy, sad, doesn't matter I answer it with food. I think I've kind of got a handle on that but I have this other "little" problem that I cannot seem to conquer no matter what I try so I'm looking for suggestions. I self sabotage...alot. Two years ago I went from 300 pounds to 265 pounds and when everyone around me started to ooh and ahh I freaked out and stopped dieting and blew up to 345 pounds. Not only did I gain the old weight back but the old weight invited new friends to the party. So when I hit 345 on a 5 ft 5 1/2 in frame I decided enough was enough and started again the long quest to get healthier. I'm not looking to be a tooth pick...I'd be happy with a size 12 or 14 (right now I'm a size 30). So back to the point I started going down and managed to get to 320 and wham I'm stuck. My problem is, even though I know they mean well, the people around me are starting to focus on the weight loss and I'm starting to freak out. My mom goes on for hours about how good I'm starting to look and can't understand why when I look in the mirror I still see Shamu the whale looking back at me despite the fact that she swears she sees a difference. I have a co-worker that pokes my back every other day or so to see whether or not I feel skinnier (she swears I do). I'm getting all kinds of little coments here and there. Again I know they mean well but enough is enough already. Since moving to an un-inhabited island until I get the weight off is out of the question...I'm looking for suggestions on how to conquer this beast of a problem. I'm really beginning to think there's something wrong with me. Am I the only person in the world that does this? Any advice y'all have would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks so very much!!
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Old 08-10-2007, 01:55 AM   #2  
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Toodles... we are very alike in age (I'm 33) and even Height (5'5) and your current weight isn't too far from my highest. Heh, I know that's not that helpful, but the similarity struck me.

Might be helpful if you give us more details on wha your current plan is as far as eating and exercise. What have you done to get where you are now?

I think I was an emotional eatter too and a boredom eatter and while addressing those issues is important, I've also figured out that certain food cause me control/trigger issues. I'm super sesitive to sugars and some empty carbs. I used to think I was just weak, but now I know better.

Have you removed the food from your house that your unable to control yourself with? For lots of peope besides the obvious sweets/candies a lot of people have issues with things like cereal... you don't have to keep them out forever but definately a good idea in the beginning.

Have you written down what you eat daily at all? there are lots of free sites where you can do this. You'll learn a lot about your issues this way as well plus it helps you see what kinda calories your taking in.

Anyway fill us in more maybe we will have better suggestions...
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Old 08-10-2007, 02:38 AM   #3  
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Hi, it's me again.

There is a reason diet is a four letter word. I have tried every diet known to man but I always feel like I'm denying myself. On a whole my family eats really healthy. Both of my parents have heart conditions and my mom is a borderline diabetic. We eat lots of lean meat, veggies, whole grain, reduced sugar, etc. with an occasional splurge (maybe once a month or so). Where I normally get into trouble is with my portion control. My current "diet" plan is eat whatever I want just don't eat as much. If I want pizza I eat one piece of pizza rather than eating the whole pizza plus the breadsticks plus the buffalo wings...HA HA HA! Experience has taught me that if I have to think too hard about it I'll give up on it in a week or two. Journals are the same way for me...I know what I'm eating so I don't see a need to write it down. Exercise wise I'm a little limited right now as to what I can do because I have abused my poor ankles to a point that they are protesting...alot. I do walk 2 miles a day, I have a 20 minute exercise routine to strengthen my ankles and I work on the third floor of my office builing so I take the stairs everytime I have to go to the first floor...it translates into around 15 to 20 trips up two flights of stairs daily. As my energy level goes up and the strain on my ankles goes down I'll increase my activity level. I have the technical knowledge on how to lose weight safely what I need the help with is the mental game. I need to figure out a way to reprogram my brain so that it doesn't start throwing up road blocks every time I get on a roll.

Thanks!
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Old 08-10-2007, 09:57 AM   #4  
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Toodles ~ Don't be so hard on yourself. I'm amazed that you're walking 2 miles a day *plus* taking the stairs. That is really good! The one thing that I would suggest is to start journalling. Every single person that I've ever know to be successful with weight loss long term writes down every thing that they eat. I'm always shocked when I start journalling by how much more goes into this body than I realized... good luck!
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Old 08-10-2007, 10:43 AM   #5  
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Hi Toodles!

Sounds like you know what you need to do, just need support sticking with it! Come join us on the daily thread!
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Old 08-10-2007, 11:03 AM   #6  
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I do it too. The day I would loose 10 pounds, I'd go reward my self with a treat! DUH! Is there something else in your life that is not letting you help yourself?

I, however, do like the attention - keeps me motivated. But maybe it would be as simple as asking those around you not to make such a big deal about it and let you do what you need to do?

I'm impressed with the excersise - I'm now 295 and don't find I get 2 miles in every day! Wow!
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Old 08-10-2007, 02:14 PM   #7  
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As you lose weight people are going to make more and more of a fuss over it. It sounds like this is something that troubles you and it is causing some self sabotage. If you want to lose the weight, it is something you are going to have to reconcile to yourself. The question is, why does it frighten/intimidate/unnerve/bother/whatever you. Are you scared that people will see you succeeding and that you might stop losing again? Are you afraid of failure? Are you scared of being more attractive to the average person? This can come in the form of unwanted attention from men and/or more feelings of competitiveness from other women.

You may be holding yourself back because there is something you feel like you canít handle emotionally. If so, you need to figure out what that thing is and also figure out how to start dealing with it now. You made a comment about being able to go to an island and lose weight, but the thing is, if you donít deal with these emotions on the way down you would never be able to leave that island. For me, losing weight is far more than just a physical transformation. It is a mental and emotional one as well. For example, I have a fear of physical violence and I also feel like my fat keeps me somewhat safe from that (which isnít necessarily true anyway). I have decided to take a martial art when I get fitter to help me feel stronger and more capable to defend myself. After making this decision it was much easier for me to move past this particular fear.

Also, donít be shy to ask you mom not to focus on your weight loss if it makes you uncomfortable. On the other hand, it is a great opportunity to find out why you feel uncomfortable. Next time it happens, try to sit back and examine your feelings. Why is it making you uncomfortable? That could really help you find the root of the issue.

There is nothing wrong with you and you arenít alone.
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Old 08-10-2007, 02:30 PM   #8  
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Tood -

I know writting it down it a drag, but even if you only do it for say 2-4 weeks you might be surprised by things. Even if it's not the total calorie count maybe you'd see that you don't get enough one one thing or another. I've read that most sucessful maintainers either still do, or did keep some kinda food intake journal on the way down. Its a pain but you get used to it and it's easy if you do it on one of those online sites.

I'm a big fan of nothing is off limits also, but I do know that there are some things I just can't keep around on a daily basis. When I switched my way of eating up a few months back I've noticed i'm a lot less hungry on less calories because I adjusted what I was doing. So portion control always used to bea big thing with me but it was because of what I was choosing to eat was egging on my cravings.

I don't think your doomed. Honetly, I always thought I was doomed to be obese my entire life. I have been since I was about 17-18. While I still am I think I've finally figured out what works for me so I don't plan on being much longer.

Awesome with the walking... anything you can fit in should help. As you feel better add more miles or time or pick up the pace. Those Walk away the Pounds DVDs are good too for us larger people.

It is 75 percent a mental thing, but my two cents is there is a way to set yourself up so that mental game is just a a bit easier. Also you might want t check out some books... "Think thin be thin" and "thin for life" might find some helpful concepts for that mental game in them.

Good luck!
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Old 08-10-2007, 04:02 PM   #9  
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Thank you so much every body!! I think my biggest problem is I've been big my whole life and I just never learned to deal with positive attention. My strategy was always...blend into the background and nobody would notice my wiggley jiggley tummy. When you're a kid you don't want to be different. My standard of dress until I was in my mid twenties was the baggier and frumpier the better (This does not work by the way. People still know you're fat under all those layers. LOL!) I finally started to figure out that the only opinion I needed to worry about was my own. I've also figured out that not facing the past and using it as a crutch in the future is the coward's way out. However, when you've thought a certain way and behaved a certain way for 26 or 27 some odd years it's really hard to just stop and do a complete mental 180. I think it just still freaks me out to have people staring at me no matter what the reason for the attention. But I figure getting rid of my "mental baggage" is going to have to be a gradual thing just like getting rid of my "saddle bags". But hey baby steps right? I'm already feeling a bit more up just know that are folks out there that understand where I'm coming from. Thabks again!!
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Old 08-10-2007, 06:07 PM   #10  
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Very understandable. Not sure how i'll deal either. Last time I got down to 220 people were really starting to notice and I'm so used to being ignored/invisable for a shy girl it was really hard to adjust to. I think it's one of a few reasons I started gaining.

You might ask the people in the maintainers board about how they managed that attention transition.
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Old 08-10-2007, 06:40 PM   #11  
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I think that when you lose weight you have to conquer the issues that put the weight there to begin with. At least this was true for me. I put my weight on during a very hard time in my life when I wanted to be invisible and it worked. People did not notice me as much. When I started losing it was very disconcerting to see how much attention I was getting and I hated it! I still get miffed about it sometimes (like why does a thinner person get better customer service then a larger person?!?!?!)

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that you aren't alone. We all have a mental struggle as well as a physical struggle when we tackle our weight. So take small steps and work through things. YOU CAN DO IT!
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Old 08-15-2007, 12:35 PM   #12  
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This is such a great support right here in our group. Hope we are able to be here for you as everyone here has been for me!

I do understand weight struggles and mental blocks. I was usually a TAD overweight, but I was comfy in my skin, ranging about 120-130 depending upon TOM and time of year...and about a 6-10 in clothing, usually about an 8. I am 5' tall and even though the BMI says my lowest range could be under 100 lbs, I am NOT comfortable there. Even at 118-120 I looked pretty skinny, so it has to be my build or something. I refuse to even consider the low end of my BMI, and am only working toward my upper end.

My big weight gain came after my son was born 11 years ago. Didn't gain too much with the pregnancy, and only had 12 lbs to get down to 130 after he was born. But it never came down, and as the years went on, it just kept going up. I started here at 209, pretty much the heaviest I've ever been.

My own mental block came last year. Well, for years, it was the "I need to wait until I have this, this & this in order before starting." Then last year my dh and I started a healthier eating/light exercise thing, and after starting at 202 in Feb. '06, I made it down to about 194 by April. But then had some serious female problems that brought me to the doctor. I ended up with surgery for a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. Instead of tiny incisions, I had a large, vertical incision because of the rupture/bleeding and an adhesion. For about 3 weeks I didn't feel up to really even walking. Then I still had another 3 weeks to go of lifting restrictions. I was quite depressed about our loss. And whenever I calculated back to the time of conception, I realized that it was right around when we started our healthy stuff.

So my mental block has come on two fronts. One: I second-guessed whether it was my own efforts that caused the weight loss, or if it was the pregnancy I didn't know about yet. With my other two kiddos, I lost weight in the beginning, before I knew what was going on. So I convinced myself that it was just because of being pregnant, and I TOTALLY resisted starting another plan for over a year. Second block: Although we really want more children, there is an element of fear there as well. The fear is subsiding some, but there had been this block of "I started getting healthier and got pregnant, but the baby was in my tube!...What if it happens again!"

Other than the mental blocks, another psychological thing gets to me, and that's the complete denial of certain foods. I usually only last about a week doing it that way. Body for Life/Eating for Life is nice in that sense because the focus is on appropriate portion sizes, eating 5-6 carb/protein balanced diets each day, exercise...but there is also a free day, which worked wonders for me last year. Unfortunately, because of the mental blocks associated with our loss, I can't bring myself to go back to it, ridiculous as that sounds. So now I'm putting together my own thing, using the common sense parts of a couple different plans. That, and journaling.

Have you ever heard of Overeaters Anonymous? An acquaintance in a Yahoo support group joined it and it REALLY addressed the emotional/psychological end of things. They were only allowed to weigh in once a month, and wouldn't you know, while she was addressing her emotional/psychological reasons for overeating, and finding other ways to help her emotional needs, she lost 20-some lbs in the first month! Just wanted to mention it.

I think you've found your way to a great place. Hang in there!! As far as sabotaging yourself goes...try hard to think of all the health benefits you're giving yourself...to keep you on track. Others are going to see the outside, and that can be unnerving for some, I'm sure. But just tell yourself how much healthier you'll be, rather than focusing on the thinner part. Your joints will thank you, your heart will thank you. Who knows...you could be preventing the onset of diabetes.

Oh, and it seems that just making healthy changes rather than "dieting" is a much more successful means of having a healthy loss and keeping it off.


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Old 08-27-2007, 04:34 PM   #13  
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This is my first post here, but your thread was one I felt compelled to respond to. It's when people start to notice my weight loss that I begin to feel:

1. The urge to rebel and say, "I looked fine before, too!"
2. Crash diet to accelerate the process.

That's why I joined 3FC today. I really don't want to do either. I've lost the weight I have over the last year. That's less than a pound a week, and I'm fine with that and that's how I want to continue. So I guess what I'm saying is that you're surrounding yourself with support (like I am, I hope) and you'll be better at saying, "Thank you" for the compliments and moving on. I read somewhere that weight loss is like a game of Chutes and Ladders and it's only when you stop playing that you won't reach your goal.
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Old 08-28-2007, 08:46 PM   #14  
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Toodles--This is my first post and I am with you with getting stuck at a #. Mine is always 250.
I work 7 days a week, 14-20 hrs a day ( I want to retire early). I eat right with 1500-1800 cal a day. I drink all water ( 1 1/2 gl a day) and 1 20oz glass of fresh brewed ice tea. I don't eat bread, meat, seafood ( 1 exception), sweets, or junk. With my crazy work hrs I try to get in 4-30 to 45 min workouts in at the harbor a week. I also am walking at work all day, probably 3-6 miles.
I will keep my fingers crossed that you can begin the downward side of the hill(weight wise)
Good luck to everyone who has posted
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