Wow, thanks so much for the responses. I am still digesting the responses (so to speak), but my first reaction is to feel super validated. This is one of the diet issues that I haven't felt comfortable discussing with others -- partly because of the quick fix response... "Just have a glass or two of wine, and you'll be fine". Because, for me, it seems like I may have to give up alcohol at least temporarily, and this seems like an unanticipated loss for me.
I also think that sometimes I use drinking as an excuse to have a super bad food night. Like, once I have a couple of drinks, then I'm like "screw it" and I really go for it. Then, when I wake up to an empty pizza box , I blame the alcohol. It's weird, but that excuse feels hard to give up as well...
I understand the feeling of alcohol calories + bad food choices when slightly intoxicated feeling strangely "excusable." I'm REALLY hard on myself if I binge and eat, say, 1000 calories over my plan in cookies or whatever. But if I drank 1000 calories and ate pizza because, hey, I was drinking...I'd just call it a fun night that I deserve once in awhile. Somehow there's a difference in my brain between binge eating and drinking too much plus eating bad food. Even if they do an equal amount of damage.
I ALSO sympathize with you when people just say "let yourself enjoy a small glass of wine" or something equally unsatisfying. That's the same with me and people telling me to treat myself to a fun-size Snickers bar. If I eat one tiny candy bar, I'm going to want the entire bag of tiny candy bars. My brain simply does not accept the small tastes. It's torture, even. And same with drinking, if I'm just going to have one small glass of wine, I'm not even going to bother with it. I'd rather eat the calories. If I'm going to drink, I'm going to legit drink.
You mentioned that drinking is something you and your friends frequently do socially? Quite frankly, yeah, you might have to give some of this up. It sucks, I know. We all have to give up things that we enjoy or did with friends in order to make this work. My friends and I used to go out to ice cream and dinners and make cookies and cakes and such constantly. That's how we had fun together by eating really indulgent foods. I was sad/mad about having to give that up, but it was necessary for me to lose weight.
So maybe staying away from those particular events for awhile is just unfortunately necessary. That doesn't mean forever. But if drinking that way is keeping you from achieving your weight loss goals, then you simply need to pick which one is more important to you. And once you're away from it for awhile and can accept that it's going to be a rare once-in-awhile treat, you can reintroduce it back into your life as just that, rare once-in-awhile treats. My birthday is in two weeks, and you better believe I'll be getting my drink on (and getting my cake on AND getting my whatever-I-want-for-dinner on). BUT, I can separate that crazy day as a very rare treat. It's not something I do frequently, not something I do socially. It's a treat.
If you are worried about social awkwardness, you'd be shocked how short people's memories are. It takes about 2 months, tops, for people to go from thinking of you as the kind of person that matches the boys round for round to thinking of you as the sort of person who nurses a mineral water all night. I'm dead serious, quit drinking and in two months say "you know, sometimes I miss margaritas" and I promise you, someone will say "you know, it's weird to think about you drinking. I know you used to, but it seems odd now".
This is something that I have been wrestling with lately... I tend to have an addictive personality. Food isn't the only thing that I tend to go overboard with... If I try on a shirt I like, I buy one in every color. If I like a TV show, I want to watch every single episode. I can't just run for 30 minutes a few times a week, I need to be training for something big (like a 1/2 marathon). I am a workaholic. I love hard. In many ways, I am a "go big or go home" kind of person.
And, in the past, this has included some binge drinking. I partied a lot in college... Nothing dangerous or problematic, really. I haven't had any alcohol related consequences in my life, and I have become much more moderate in my drinking as a whole over the past several years. But, from time to time, I like to drink more than a glass or two of wine.
I've noticed that when I get derailed from my weight loss or eating plan, it usually involves alcohol in some way. Generally, this means just drinking more than I plan to... But, at times, this also means that I eat much more after I have been drinking. Or I feel hungover and I eat greasy or sugary foods the next day while I am nursing my hangover.
I'm beginning to wonder if I have to stop drinking in order to stay on track... That kinda bums me out, because wine is a big part of my social scene. Many of my friends are into wine parties, wine tasting, and pairings. Of course, I can drink in moderation, but I can't seem to do that very well..
Can anyone relate to this struggle? Have you noticed needing to make some changes in your consumption of alcohol as you try to lose weight? Has that been hard? Easy? What has been your experience?
Oh, yes! Funny you would mention this today of all days. I will go for a very long time and congratulate myself that (Ha! Ha!) I am the queen of self control. Then, all of a sudden, I start having a really good time somewhere and forget and drink several glasses of wine.
From years of dieting, I am virtually afraid of cookies. (Can't eat just one...need the whole box.) I have to think of wine as liquid cookies. Just one, just one and no more.
Someone told me that alcohol makes you thirsty. That is why there is a tendency to want another glass. So I now get a glass of water and drink it after I finish my wine. It kind of slows things down. No one usually notices or cares.
However, last night, the hostess snuck up on me and re-filled my glass. I didn't see her do it. I thought I was on Glass#1. Oh, no! By the end of Glass #2...did I really care when she suggested I try the red?
Today I tried to pretend I didn't have a scale. Yep! alcohol is an issue.
Think of everything else you've conquered! Why not this? I'm going to work on it. Good luck!
I was never a "go big or go home" kind of drinker but I did eliminate it from my diet entirely. Not because I couldn't have one or two here and there, count the calories, and move on with my life but because even just one beer lowers my inhibitions when it comes to food. I make bad decisions. Instead of waking up next to some strange guy, I'd wake up to an empty package of double stuffed oreo's and think, "Who are you and what are you doing in my bed?".
I can so relate! You really put that very well. And, I hate waking up like that! Thanks!
I just wanted to add a quick thing here. In addition to the calories there is the whole addiction thing to think of if you are a person who believes you have an addictive personality.
I am a substance abuse counselor and one of the fastest growing groups of people we are seeing are those people that have had gastric bypass surgery. They are coming to addiction centers in droves and are addicted to alcohol primarily with pills in second. While certainly not all overweight people are that way because they have an addictive personality, many are, and when the food is restricted, they turn to other addictive substances.
Making smart alcohol choices while losing weight is difficult for me, thanks to the social nature of drinking. If my friends and I all go out to a restaurant, I can get something on plan pretty easily and let them eat their delicious full meals in peace. But drinking? Bars are louder and drunk people are more annoying when you're stone cold sober. I'm young enough (25) that most of my friends are still in party mode.
Some tricks I've learned to help:
-I offer to DD: it holds me accountable, it gives me mega points, and my friends are all safer
-When I drink, I force moderation by playing the 1:3 game. For every 1 glass of wine, I drink 3 glasses of water.
I was just going to come in and and say something about being an addictive personality and avoiding alcohol or anything else that can be addictive. My grandfathers were alcoholics - both sides, my uncle is an alcoholic and my cousin is/was a drug addict. I knew this growing up and it scared me enough to just stay away from the stuff - period. As an adult (past college) years I would drink a glass of wine at dinner with my husband, but that's about it. I don't even have an addictive type of personality. If I did - I would be even stricter - same with cigarettes and everything else that is addictive.
Over the years it became obvious to me that my life had no place for alcohol. I have lost weight MANY times in the past, and every single time I decided it was time to add alcohol back into my life, the weight came back on with a vengeance. I'm done. I feel so much better. It is awesome to never have a hangover, and I have saved a butt load of money not buying it. Enough for a closet full of beautiful new clothes that I haven' ruined in a alcohol related stupor.
Thanks for sharing that... Congratulations on your 3rd anniversary!
I understand the feeling of alcohol calories + bad food choices when slightly intoxicated feeling strangely "excusable." I'm REALLY hard on myself if I binge and eat, say, 1000 calories over my plan in cookies or whatever. But if I drank 1000 calories and ate pizza because, hey, I was drinking...I'd just call it a fun night that I deserve once in awhile. Somehow there's a difference in my brain between binge eating and drinking too much plus eating bad food. Even if they do an equal amount of damage.
I ALSO sympathize with you when people just say "let yourself enjoy a small glass of wine" or something equally unsatisfying. That's the same with me and people telling me to treat myself to a fun-size Snickers bar. If I eat one tiny candy bar, I'm going to want the entire bag of tiny candy bars. My brain simply does not accept the small tastes. It's torture, even. And same with drinking, if I'm just going to have one small glass of wine, I'm not even going to bother with it. I'd rather eat the calories. If I'm going to drink, I'm going to legit drink.
Yeah! I'm totally the same way regarding the "fun night" versus being really hard on your self... That difference is totally there in my brain as well. If I overeat on food, then I am frustrated because I feel like I know better. But, when it involves drinking, then it it is a totally different ball game on how I feel about myself. Even if I really overate in the process. I am just not as hard on myself. It's such an interesting mind game...
I think that part of it is that I know that I will feel just as (or more) satisfied or satiated after a healthy meal than I would after an unhealthy one. I think that I have finally, finally convinced myself that a healthier diet isn't a really a major sacrifice. Yes, sometimes it's hard to make the healthier choice, but there are a lot of really delicious foods that are good for you. But, giving up drinking really does feel like I'm "giving up" something that has been a big part of my life for a long time. It is one of the ways that I unwind, socialize, and celebrate. I haven't found a good way to replace that yet, so I end up feeling sorry for myself or something -- like it's this big thing that I am "giving up". I don't like that... I feel like I'm whining a bit, even now... Yuck.
Thanks for your understanding, though!
Also, to those of you that can have a drink or two and enjoy it, that's amazing! I WISH that I could do that... But, I am just not there yet...
If you are worried about social awkwardness, you'd be shocked how short people's memories are. It takes about 2 months, tops, for people to go from thinking of you as the kind of person that matches the boys round for round to thinking of you as the sort of person who nurses a mineral water all night. I'm dead serious, quit drinking and in two months say "you know, sometimes I miss margaritas" and I promise you, someone will say "you know, it's weird to think about you drinking. I know you used to, but it seems odd now".
People are funny.
That's true! I didn't even think about that!! That makes me think of a time, several years ago, when I was on a health kick. I had just quit smoking and taking up running... And, then, a couple of months later, I was out with a friend and I ended up bumming a smoke. He was like "what?! you don't smoke! aren't you are a runner?". He was genuinely surprised and confused. It seemed so funny to me at the time because I totally identified as a smoker more than a runner at that time... Now, years later, being a smoker feels like a lifetime ago...
Thanks again for all of your replies. This has been really informative... If/when I do try to drink moderately, I will definitely keep the water thing in mind!
And, again, mad props to those of you who have figured out how to drink a bit w/o messing up your plan... Thanks for the tips!
Regarding those of you who commented on the addictive personality thing, thanks for reflecting on that. It's something that I think about a lot... I'm pretty sure that I don't have an addiction to alcohol. There are several people in my family who struggle with alcohol and other drug addictions, and I've been very conscious of the impact alcohol can have in your life. In general, I feel pretty good about the role that alcohol plays in my life (if you take out the part about the food/calories). I do drink a little too much from time to time, but overall I think that my approach has been one of moderation (or at least mostly moderation )...
But, I do sometimes worry about if there is something that I'll use to replace my food addiction... I'm really, really trying to work on seeking balance and stability in different areas of my life... It's hard sometimes.
You know, I cut it out almost completely (we used to drink so much at one place they knew our drinks!) and now that I stopped for like 6 months almost I can go out now and have one! And feel content with just one! Before I'd be pushing 4-10 drinks at least!
I makes it so much easier, I have done this now with chips, ice cream, candy...all of it!
I need to drop the drinks-- I think this is sabotaging me these past few months. It's become margaritas on Tuesdays, happy hour on Fridays, a glass of wine here and there. Really just too much.
, I blame the alcohol. It's weird, but that excuse feels hard to give up as well...
