It took a year of rigorous healthy eating and exercise - and about 60 pounds lost - before I started to really notice feeling different, and even then it was a fairly subtle change, not a radical personality transplant. I have a little more energy for moving around than I used to - I tend to trot up the stairs at work rather than dragging myself up the stairs; I get a little more antsy and sometimes want to move around, a little more often than I used to. But it's not like I've gone from being a slug to being a little ball of energy. It's more like I've gone from being a slug to being a slightly more mobile slug.
RoseRodent - I've wondered if there was a placebo effect going on. I dismissed that though, since it sure sounded like everyone felt like a million bucks. I'm glad I'm hearing the truth. Having unrealistic expectations can REALLY be a motivation breaker.
Krizstyling - I ate great for about 3 months. And I mean flawless! Or about as flawless as you can get, lol. As for unhealthy eating? That's a tough question. Practically forever, I guess... I don't know. I don't think I've eaten THIS bad before. At least when I used to overeat, I ate a wide variety of junk food. So it was probably better than now.
Carter - I'm both happy and sad to hear this. Thank you so much for sharing though! I REALLY want to go from "sluggish" to "a little ball of energy" and when I didn't see that happening from diet and exercise, I figured I was just broken or something. I still want to be an energetic little thing, and now I haven't a clue how to make that happen. I will talk to my doctor.
You'll all be happy to hear that I went grocery shopping today (right after going to the gym!), and stocked up on lots of healthy foods. Plenty of veggies, and easy sources of protein.
Even if you're losing weight at an amazingly rapid pace, you still see the same person in the mirror today that you saw yesterday. Without time-lapse photography, it can seem like no progress at all.
If you've ever gotten a horribly-too-short hair cut, you know how it seems to take forever for the hair to grow out to where you can fix it. You don't really notice the hair growing, you just realize one day that "it's not that bad, you're getting used to it, and actually kind of like it." That's not what really happened, you didn't begin to like the crappy hair cut, it's just grown out enough to look better, but you haven't seen the growth occur, so you think you just changed your mind about the crappy hair cut. Unless you have a photo in front of you to remind you just how horrible it really was, you assume that you changed your mind not your hair.
A lot of people avoid being photographed during the weight loss process. I think it's really when you should get lots and lots of pictures taken (I admit I don't follow this great piece of advice myself, either. Maybe I'll make that my New Year's resolution. Maybe I'll make Tuesday, picture day).
I've lost large amounts of weight (50lbs plus) about four times in my life, and each time I saw some pretty amazing physical changes (in hindsight, though it didn't seem so at the time). I've also had another three times in which I didn't lose weight, but made huge health improvements, also without realizing it at the time.
For example, about twelve years ago, I took a retraining class on a college campus. I had to park far away from the class, and could barely make it to the class without collapsing. By the end of the three month class, it was easy. Then I got the job in a huge complex and had to do lots of walking from one building to another, several times a day. Just making it to the cafeteria at lunchtime was a struggle. A few months later, I had no problem.
But I didn't ever noticed the change as it was happening, because every day was virtually the same as before. When you make six inches of progress a day, it sure doesn't seem like you're walking any further. It doesn't seem like any progress at all until you compare your start point, with the point you're at three months later. And some changes you'll never notice, because you weren't paying attention to the starting point, you don't remember where it actually was.
It seems that once you can do something easily, you forget what it was like to find it difficult, and you may even forget that you ever found it difficult.
The statement I italiced and bolded, I didn't even fully realize until this weight loss attem't - only because I found some old journals as I was cleaning out my hobby room, and reread them. I realized how much progress I really had made.
I don't feel like I've made hardly any progress at all, even though the changes are actually quite dramatic, but it's hard to compare myself to six years ago, and when I compare myself to yesterday, nothing has changed. When I started this, I couldn't raise my hands over my head for more than a few seconds. I could barely walk from the handicapped parking space to the door of the mall or Walmart. Now I can shop Walmart without a motorized cart. That alone is a tremendous improvement, but I don't "feel it" because it seems so long ago.
Whenever I feel like my progress has been so slow that the effort is pointless, I remind myself of where I used to be, and ask myself if I want to go back.
Do I want to go back to sleeping only 20 minutes at a time, because I'd hurt so bad I'd have to flip over, and 20 minutes would have to flip again (I still do this flip-flopping, but it's every 3 hours instead of every 20 minutes)?
Do I want to go back to having to have a chair in the shower, and needing my husband's assistance to get out of the shower?
Do I want to go back to using a motorized cart at Walmart - or worse being unable to shop anywhere I had to stand for more than 5 minutes?
Do I want to go back to fatigue so incredible that I fell asleep even behind the wheel on my way to work in the morning?
Do I want to go back to sleeping more hours than I was awake?
As incredible as the progress is that I have made, I still don't feel like a superhero. I forget all the time how much progress I've made. I only realize it when I intentionally compare - and even then I forgot how bad it really was.
Humans naturally forget pain. If we didn't, no woman in history would have ever have a second child. And no one would ever experience a second hangover.
Heck, I wouldn't gorge myself on Ranier cherries every season. Every year, I forget the severity of the consequences. I end up with severe stomach cramps and potty problems, and every year I tell myself "never, ever again."
In some ways, the past doesn't seem "real." I remember sleeping up to 20 hours in a day, and I remember not being able to use hair conditioner in the shower (because I could barely wash and rinse my hair once), and I remember a shower tuckering me out so badly that I couldn't shower in the mornings anymore or I wouldn't have made it to work. I remember it being worse, and having to take a nap after every shower (even with the shower chair).
But while I remember all of those things, and I consciously know my life is amazingly improved, it's hard to feel that improvement because it was so gradual. Since every day feels exactly like the day before, which felt exactly like the day before that, which felt exactly like the day before that - it's hard to acknowledge that progress occurred. It's hard to feel grateful, proud, or protective of that change.
And I know if I refuse to work on my weight, exercise, and health , I'll regain all of the weight (and then some) and regain all of the disability (and probably then some) and I'll end up in a worse place than I started - but I also know that decline will be gradual too - so I won't notice it either. It's why quitting is so easy, because I also know that everything isn't going to disappear overnight, either.
Every time I'm tempted to quit, I have to remind myself that I won't see a difference tomorrow, or even next week or next month. I won't notice the decline any more than I noticed the improvement. I'll just wake up one day and realize that I can't shower on my own, or I can't shop on my own, and I'll wonder when it happened, how it happened, and I'll realize it was my own inability to compare today to six years ago or six years from now.
None of us can do it without help. We have to trust that improvement will come with effort, even if we don't notice the improvement nearly as much as we notice the effort.
I can't strongly enough recommend using a journal, keeping it, and periodically rereading it, because it helps make that comparison. Even when you can't remember what it was like, your journal can help you remember.
Vulpix, what stood out to me most in your original post wasn't that you were eating 1,000 calories but that you mentioned you always found yourself swinging from extreme to extreme.
Have you ever spoken to a mental health professional? It sounds to me like you're exhibiting some signs of disordered eating behaviors. Your language in your post seems a bit manic and swinging between extremes regarding food could be a symptom of a completely different problem. Personally, I found that a HUGE part of my overeating/undereating/overexercising/unrealistic expectations about my body's abilities were a symptom of anxiety which, in turn, was a symptom of my undiagnosed attention deficit disorder.
I could be WAY off base here but it might be worth looking in to. I'm really glad I did.
I've been hitting the gym like crazy for the past three days, made and have consistently been meeting a protein goal, and I've upped my calories to 1,500-1,600. The scale went up a tiny bit, but it looks like it's going down again. I'm already pooping a lot more (I figured everyone wanted to know about that ) and... yeah. It's been pretty good. (Though I've been SO SORE from the gym!)
It's honestly been very difficult to maintain eating at this higher calorie level! In part because I'm eating a lot more food... but also because I'm going through food like crazy. I actually want to invest in more calorie dense foods (and maybe write out a grocery list). I haven't ate this much since... since last year, and it's difficult figuring out how. Aside from avocados (and maybe bananas) though, I can't really think of any healthy yet calorie dense foods off of the top of my head!
moon safari - Thank you for the advice I don't see the harm in talking to a professional. In fact, I've always wanted to. The problem is though, that I don't know where... Preferably, I'd like to do it for free. I'm a college student; do colleges generally have psychologist/councilors that you can speak to?
hmm, I try to stick to "nutrient dense" food so I get more bang for my caloric buck, so to speak. These are some of my favorites--I'd list all of mine, but I'm just putting easy to prep foods for you:
apples, berries, bananas, any fruit basically--frozen fruit is very economical and you can let it thaw or nuke it for 30 seconds before you eat it.
string cheese
celery, broccoli, cherry tomatoes, cauliflower, cucumbers, etc with salsa
eggs, canned tuna or sardines packed in water, canned beans
bagged lettuce (I bought a huge tupperware conatiner that lives in my fridge. Once a week I wash it and refill it with romaine, spinach, broccoli, cauliflower, celery, cherry tomatoes. then I can just grab what I need for salads)
protein bars--I like ClifBuilders--they have quite a bit of protein
oatmeal (I hate just oatmeal, but if you add a diced apple or some frozen fruit, it's like a cobbler
unsalted pretzels
yogurt
kashi makes a cereal that has 13 grams of protein per serving--Kashi GoLean I think. I mix it with yogurt and that's breakfast.
Hope this helps.
edited: I just realized you weren't asking for food ideas--sorry if this post was not wanted.
Last edited by chickybird; 12-21-2010 at 12:24 AM.
I don't see the harm in talking to a professional. In fact, I've always wanted to. The problem is though, that I don't know where... Preferably, I'd like to do it for free. I'm a college student; do colleges generally have psychologist/councilors that you can speak to?
Yes, yes!
I work at a college, and most that I've heard of have some sort of free counseling service for students. I hope you can take advantage of it!
![Forgetting How to Eat [Confession]](https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/iconimages/weight-loss-support/forgetting-how-eat-%5Bconfession%5D_ltr.gif)
