[Expunge]

I agree with a lot of the advice that's been posted. Don't let your weight ruin your life. And realize it's not the weight, but depression and social anxiety, that is giving you these feelings.

I've been a university student for a couple years now, and there are plenty of overweight - even extremely large - people in my classes and around campus who are successful students. There are plenty of larger employees at the places I shop that are good at their jobs.

I hope you start feeling better. Good luck on your journey.

[rubidoux]

I agree that you need some kind of counseling and/or other strategies to deal with your depression. Getting out of the house and being around people is probably key to that. I will say, though, that I spent 15 years trying to lose weight and then started losing a few months after starting therapy. I almost never talked to my therapist about my weight before I started losing, but I can't help but think it was not a coincidence. Sometimes we sabotage ourselves without realizing it or understanding why.

I am wondering what's going on with your mother. Does she treat you well otherwise? Is she very depressed? Is she afraid that you'll lose weight and leave her? Does she have enough money to help you (ie, therapy, healthy foods, gym membership if you wanted to do that, health care, good sneakers, etc)? If she is a reasonably healthy (ie, not horribly depressed herself) person, I would say what's going on is abusive. She has to know that you are miserable, that you are probably having health complications, that you aren't living the kind of life you deserve. So what could possibly going on with her?