Quote:
Originally Posted by Heather
I'm sorry you're hurting so much! It sounds like you have bigger issues than your weight -- it's not about you, it's about HIM. I know a lot of women are in loving relationships no matter their weight, and there are skinny women whose husbands' eyes rove...
And yes, starving does work in the short term, but usually not in the long run. I really wish you the best of luck, it sounds like you're in a lot of pain right now.
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Ditto...a big big DITTO here.
Personally, my added thoughts, forget about the weight as it isn't about that at all. You can be more blond, you can be more skinny, and you can fly and be able to turn snap your fingers and turn the world into gold...BUT NONE of that makes a man love or want you. The problems are with HIM, not YOU and that is the truth. 100% blunt truth.
There is somewhere right now a woman and a man who are "perfect." A 10, perfect breasts, flawless skin, in shape, yadda yadda and those two people are hurting, unhappy, and killing themselves trying to get someone to see, appreciate, CELEBRATE, and love them. They give and give and give and get nothing back. Being thin has NOTHING to do with it and starving yourself, sure you can lose weight starving. You can do that with a variety of eating disorders, but at the end of the day you're not going to be happy. Things won't magically be better or perfect. You KNOW that.
You're hurting, angry, desperate...but you know you are a BEAUTIFUL person. Someone who deserves love and to be happy. That may mean finding that strength to move on...believe me when I say that I'm learning that those lessons too. I'm learning about how beautiful I am, inside and out. It is something I struggle with, but no amount of weight loss is going to make things perfect for me. My journey, as with most of us, isn't just about weight loss. I could be 140 pounds and STILL unhappy and STILL finding ways to hurt myself. Heal yourself from the inside out, not starving yourself from the inside out and that will take time.
His problems are his own. You can't change him, he has to change himself.
P.S. Starving yourself physically is not a "HA I DID IT" moment. Not only is it unhealthy, you WILL regain a large portion if not all of your weight back once you start eating again. Why? Because you probably haven't lost fat. You lost water and solid foods. Once you start eating, and believe me I know as I did a juice feast to jump start my weight loss only I drank my calorie intake in freshly made juices (that is a lot of green juices every day), you WILL see your weight go up. I fluctuate about 2-4 pounds a day and I'm always carrying around water and obviously solid food. So, let's say I starve myself for a week and then I'm down 7 or 8 pounds. Well the truth is I probably lost less than a pound of fat, the rest is all the water and lack of solids in my system. If I were to eat and drink my weight would probably go up, from my own experience, about 7-8 pounds. So you see, I did MORE damage to my body. Had I just chosen a healthier method, I could have a loss of 1 or more pounds of fat depending on my body. That means I ate healthy, I exercised, I worked on myself physically and emotionally in that week. Seems a lot more positive to me.
