Having issues talking about my program with others
I'm having issues with talking about my weight loss. I'm doing weight watchers but when people ask me what i'm doing i just say cutting out bad things. It's just odd that I can't just tell people what i'm doing. I don't know if i don't want to jinx it or if I don't want to get my own hopes up. It confuses me.
I am exactly the same. For me, its also that i dont want them to be looking at what im doing and judging whether i should be doing it or not. I dont think its strange ^_^
I was worried about this a couple of weeks ago and someone on this site told me that my weight loss isn't any one else's business. So, for me, right now, and probably a long time to come, I'm just going to not talk about it. And, for direct questions, I think I'll borrow your answer, indiegrlx. It would take me an hour to explain what I'm really doing, what with the food and exercise and posting here for support, and most people aren't asking for that. I suspect some of them are hoping that we have the secret quick answer. But I've learned on this site, that the secret is: there is no secret!
What do you need to explain...? It's what you'll be doing for the rest of your life. I think like the above poster said, it's really no ones business.
I try to get out of the mindset I need to explain I'm on a diet or plan, because it'll make it easy later when the weight is off to start slipping when other people are around feeling the need to explain why I'm not eating that or eating this, because when you are thin people will think you no longer need to be on plan.
I just want it to feel like a natural part of life, nothing special that needs to be explained.
Questions can be uncomfortable. Especially in certain settings. When asked, I just say that I'm "eating healthier and have upped my exercise". True. Most of my questioners are normal weight and I my answer is usually adequate. If I know the person and they are overweight, I indicate I'd be happy to sit down at a later date and explain my plan if they would like. True. If I had a friend who really wanted to lose, I would be happy to share what great support I have at 3FC, and the numerous plans avaliable. I haven't had any takers. I find weight loss (or the lack of it) is much easier to talk about.
I'm probably a bit "too" open with personal information. It apparently has been a lifelong trait, because my parents say that when I was very small, I would announce to complete strangers at any opportunity "I'm adopted." Hey, I thought it was cool and special, so I wanted to share.
You get to be as open as you want to be, and that's cool too. You can even decide to be open with some folks, and tight lipped with others. Completely your choice, and there's no reason to feel bad, or no need to justify the choice (even to yourself, though it would be nice if you knew, but hey I confuse myself all of the time, and I think it happens to almost everone).
I have had the same job for 10 years. During that time, I've lost 90 pounds and regained it, 21 pounds and regained it, 36 pounds and regained it, and 60 pounds and regained it. I'm always so happy to lose weight, I end up blabbing, "Yay! I've lost 6 pounds!" or whatever. Then everyone wants to know exactly how, and then they start watching everything I eat, because they are curious. That leads to, "A Snickers bar is on your diet?" and I have to say, "No. I'm having an off day, today." Then it's, "How much have you lost now? Now? Now?"
I'm going to go to Mexico in late October to have vertical gastric sleeve surgery. I'm going to take two weeks off. Barring severe complications, I should be able to return to work without anyone knowing. I'll be private pay (hence, Mexico), so there won't be any insurance info changing hands. I really want to keep this to myself. If I can't lose weight and keep it off after surgery, the fewer people that know, the better.I'm gong to stick with,"I'm trying to eat smaller meals more often" and "I'm trying to eat more healthy." I'm sure if I don't announce it, I can loose 75 pounds before anyone begins to notice a change.
Anyway,I think your feelings are perfectly normal. Best of luck to you -Kim
im learning not to go into detail. i made a post a while ago saying that people always have to throw in their ideas/criticisms when i tell them my specific plans. i think its best to be general so that you dont get a lot of, "oooh i heard thats bad for you, you should try......"
I'm right there with you. I just started chatting in the forum and that's a stretch for me. What you do to better yourself and regain the confidence that you may have lost with weight gain is your business and only your bussiness. These forums are great because here we can open up and share what we may not be able to share with those close to us.
At some point I feel like we will all have no problem telling people what program we are using. It will come with time.
Right now I'm on a plan provided by my trainer so is easier to say, "eat less move more" for me. When I was on Adkins I didn't want to deal with all the negative comments, so I would just say I was trying to eat right.
That is enough to satisfy most people, some people want to know what diet I'm on which is fine, I'll even give them a copy of it. Usually the don't want to know any more when I add, "AND you need to be lifting weights AND doing cardio for the best results"
Deciding how much to talk about your weight loss is such a personal topic. Only share what you feel comfortable with. When I first started out I didn't share anything, except with my closest friends. I didn't want to deal with hearing others opinions on what I should be doing or the skepticism about if I could stick with it.
The longer I worked at it (and the more noticeable it became that I was losing) the more I started to feel comfortable talking about what I was doing. Now I talk about it much more.
In the end it's up to you. It's 100% ok NOT to share if that's what you feel most comfortable with!
Indie--great post. I hadn't really thought about this issue, but I find that, this time, I don't want to talk about my plan with others either (except here). I don't remember doing this in the past. I don't like to talk about it for the same reasons as mentioned above...I don't want the increased scrutiny and I really don't believe that what I am doing in my personal life is anyone else's business. Also, it is hard to sum up what I am doing. Yes, I am eating healthier and yes I am exercising. But, there are other aspects to losing weight for me (dealing with the mental issues involved with weight loss). It is such a personal journey for me and, other than here, I just don't want/need to talk about it.
Talking to people about my weightloss only leaves me feeling depressed. Maybe because the more I talk about it there more I build up this expectation that I will accomplish it but then I fear that my failures will be on display. I don't like to feel this way but I can't help it for now.
To be fair I can't say I've always been the most positive upbeat person when others discuss their weight loss plans. When someone tells me that they're doing something really stupid like liquid diets or Atkins it takes all my strength not to comment on their soon-to-come failures. I do try to reserve judgement but on the inside I know what those diets will lead to.
The only way to explain to someone what I am doing honestly is to put it this way: "I'm re-learning how to eat, building a healthy relationship with food, and incorporating exercise into my daily life." But it's way TMI to say this to someone so I just say I'm trying to eat better and be active.
I completely understand where you're coming from. I find that if I start talking about it, everyone around me is suddenly an expert. Oddly enough, everyone except those who have actually lost weight and kept it off. Those people understand that you have to do what is best for you and just congratulate you when the weight does start to come off.
And the scrutiny is annoying, isn't it?? That's another reason I don't tell anyone any more. If I eat something one of the "experts" thinks I shouldn't, he/she will be quick to tell me, not knowing it might be part of my daily plan.
So I don't blame you for keeping it to yourself; I do the same thing (except for here, of course).
Having issues talking about my program with others
