Ugh... one of my problems too. Although, I haven't had anyone say it to my safe. But whenever I go outside to exercise, my low self-confidence kicks in and my mind tells me that those people across the street are looking at me and talking about me. It gets so bad that if I'm in a run and I see someone, I'll stop running and just start walking until they pass or are way ahead of me. Really bad for my workout routine but I am trying to work on it (was able to ignore people the other day... go me!).
That said, when it does happen, people are cruel. They just pick on someone based on their own insecurities about themselves. Like many people already said here, YOU know you are doing something right for yourself and everyone else can go screw themselves! You got our support here and no one here is going to be cruel! So always, come to us, and you know you will be safe
I am no longer fat, but I am also not the thinnest in the land. I work at a gym now and I come out from teaching spin class all gross and sweaty, with plastered hair and plain, simple exercise clothes. There are a few women at the gym in expensive clothes, with fake boobs, and pretty hair who are snobs and turn their noses up at me. I now walk up to them and engage them in conversation - even muster a compliment about a part of their physique or what have you. I take them head on. And they never, ever turn their noses up at me again. I go right to the source and talk about other things - but force them to look me in the eye and make small talk. lol. Seeing them squirm = priceless.
Last edited by aspinchick; 04-26-2009 at 04:47 PM.
If someone did that to me, I would probably smile and wave just to p*ss them off. They are expecting a bad reaction, and this puts them in the embarrassing position.
Oh I'd probably wave if someone shouted something mean at me, too, only I'd wave with the single-finger salute. People are so cruel. As one poster said, though, be aware that some people who are looking may be thinking things like, "Good for her, getting out and getting some sun and some exercise! Brave girl!". So put on your headphones and concentrate on doing what's best for you, and forget the boys (because they're sure not men!) who shout things out the car window. How would they feel if someone said that to their mom or sister? Idiots.
I am really motivated when I see other people losing weight. There is a woman at my gym who has lost over 100 pounds in a year without WLS. She is an inspiration to me.
Get out there and enjoy the weather and keep up the exercise for YOUR health. **** the rest of 'em. (Oops... can I say that on here? )
I used to have the same problem. When I first started losing weight, I'd be outside running and biking, jelly rolls and all! People would often shout things like, "HEY FATTY!," "You're FAT!," "MOOOOO COW!!!" and at first, it almost made me cry. I responded with things like, "YEAH WELL I'm DOING something about it!," and "F**K YOU! FAT people have feelings, too!"
But in the end, you are doing something good for yourself and YOU will have the last laugh once you are in better shape and healthier than they will ever be!
The funniest part of it all will be when obnoxious buttheads similar to those decide to hit on you once you're at goal
Liliann,
I am sorry to hear it. Gary posted a wonderful message so I am just going to say "What Gary said".
Listen, the same people will stare at you again in disbelief when the weight is gone, and they will ENVY YOU.
Stick with your exercise and ignore them. YOU ARE A WOMAN - YOU CAN DO IT!!!
Oh man, see I'm confrontational about it, I would walk up to them and say "I may be fat right now, but soon I won't be, and when that happens, YOU will still be jerks" then I'd turn and walk off.
Screw them- this isn't about them- it's about you! You got a confident smile in your photo- don't let anyone take that away from you.
This is the one thing that keeps me going:
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt.
I won't let anyone make me feel inferior- you don't let them do it either!
Bullies thrive on insecurity. They enjoy causing pain and distress, because they can, but they're very insecure themselves. They generally attack from the safety of a vehicle, or a pack of friends they're showing off for, and they rely on the fact that most people are going to avoid eye contact and skulk away.
I don't. Generally, I don't react with anger (that's too obvious, and may even be the reaction they wanted). Rather, I react with my own laughter and mild contempt. If they shout "you're fat," or something equally brilliant, I look them in the eye, laugh and say something like "Wow, did you figure that out all by yourself, or did you have help, Genius?" Or, "Yeah, and you're an idiot, so what?" Or even just stop and stare at them with the "what kind of idiot are you, anyway?" expression.
At first, I had to fake it. I didn't feel as confident as I acted, but I acted confident anyway. I have a RIGHT to be on this planet, and a right to be in public without being harassed.
It is difficult, because a desire for social approval is hard-wired into us, but we have to remember intentionally cruel people are the minority. They're sad, twisted little beasties who can only feel something resembling self confidence by making someone else feel inferior. It's pretty easy to take that away from them (as long as alcohol isn't involved - I don't confront drunks, because while bullies are cowards, alcohol can give an idiot a false sense of security).
I also have to be aware of whether people are truly staring, or whether it's my own paranoia. My husband and I are both large and outspoken, people do sometimes stare, because we naturally stand out. Even though it may be rude, it isn't always malicious. When I first bought my bicycle and started riding around the neighborhood, I know I looked ridiculous. I don't know any of the neighbors (we're in a modest apartment building among swanky homes on the lake). I started waving and smiling, even though I was sure they were all laughing their butts off, at the sight of me. Maybe they were, but they smiled and waved back, and it looked friendly, so I let myself believe it was friendly. I started imagining them saying positive things.
My weight and my health issues (which are all aggravated, if not caused by my weight issues) stop me from doing a lot of things, but I refuse to let it stop me from doing anything that it doesn't actually stop me from doing (with the exception of wearing anything sleeveless - except in the water).
I LOVE swimming, and I just refuse to let anyone make me feel that I can't or shouldn't. I know I may not be fun to look at, and that's ok. What isn't ok is treating me like I don't have a right to exist.
I've had a couple of instances where I've been made fun of when out exercising. I was walking my friend's dog one time, headphones on, when I walked past a house with a couple of drunks outside and they started yelling at me. I had the music on, and I don't really know what they were saying, but it did give me an uncomfortable feeling and I knew it was negative. I just walked past and tried to ignore them.
I was also doing "Couch to 5K" one time last year, when the directive to run came up. I was walking past a bunch of kids on bikes, and when I started to run, I noticed some of the kids start to laugh. I just said, "what, never seen someone jog before?" and went on my way.
I don't often get negative reactions from people seeing me exercise, but I think if someone drove by yelling obscenities while I was out jogging, my first instinct would be to yell, "why don't you get off your lazy *** and join me, ****er?"
I know it can be hard, but you are doing something awesome for yourself and you should be proud. I'm with the rest, just try to ignore them.
Wow, you girls are very inspiring! I live in a beach town and this is the first season since I had my children (my oldest is 10) that I actually bought a bathingsuit and started enjoying the beach. Yeah, I get stares, and the tiny big fake boobed girls sometimes stare and snicker, but I try to ignore them. It also helps that I go to the beach with my kids and a couple of friends and we are all heavy and losing weight, so we're each other's support. I hope with time I can become stronger and not care about what people think but it's so hard sometimes. thanks for the inspiration!
Wow.How cruel.When I see an overweight individual working out, walking, biking...I always smile thinking "good for them".I just dont understand why it makes people feel better to make someone feel bad.I am glad your last post sounded like you are in a happier place.
I know what you mean. Just this past week here it's gotten up to the 70s and 80s, and I was actually bummed about this because it means I can't comfortably wear a hundred layers of clothing and hide under it all, and more people will be out when I'm walking (walking is my main form of exercise, always has been). People suck, we just need to stay positive though and know we are trying to do good things for ourselves. You can only hope that someday, karma will bite them in the butt.
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People can be very ignorant & cruel.
I'd just ignore them, get a headset & keep walking
This. This is why I wear headphones when I go walking, so I can be blissfully oblivious to everything around me.
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This is part of the reason that I started taking my walks at night.
Most people are asleep or indoors so I can just relax and walk my dogs. Plus I don't need to worry about sunscreen.
This too. I usually walk in the evening or after dark because I am less self-conscious and there are fewer people out. When I can, I take my parents' dog. The dog hates everybody, so no one gets close enough for me to hear what they are saying, ha. (It doesn't bite or anything, but it growls).
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I used to have the same problem. When I first started losing weight, I'd be outside running and biking, jelly rolls and all! People would often shout things like, "HEY FATTY!," "You're FAT!," "MOOOOO COW!!!" and at first, it almost made me cry. I responded with things like, "YEAH WELL I'm DOING something about it!," and "F**K YOU! FAT people have feelings, too!"
Yes, people are just judgmental and RUDE. If you're at McDonald's eating a burger, they'd be telling you to go outside and jog. If you're outside and jogging, they'll shout "it's not working!" or something stupid like that. I don't know why people have to go around putting others down all the time, it really makes me lose faith in a large portion of humanity. On the other hand, it makes me glad I will never put another person down because of their weight, and it makes me want to support and encourage people even more. You just have to ignore the idiots, they are the insecure ones.
I totally agree with the comments so far - it's their problem NOT yours. We can change our bodies but can their change their stupid attitudes??? probably not!
Wow, you girls are very inspiring! I live in a beach town and this is the first season since I had my children (my oldest is 10) that I actually bought a bathingsuit and started enjoying the beach. Yeah, I get stares, and the tiny big fake boobed girls sometimes stare and snicker, but I try to ignore them. It also helps that I go to the beach with my kids and a couple of friends and we are all heavy and losing weight, so we're each other's support. I hope with time I can become stronger and not care about what people think but it's so hard sometimes. thanks for the inspiration!
lol and worst case scenario I bet you guys could kick those girls butts. I remember one time reading about these two skinny girls who were taunting these two overweight girls at the beach. Well they thought nothing of it and later when they went to the bathroom the two overweight girls jumped them and took their bathing suits
I don't condone violence but the two girls weren't hurt- just humiliated lol. I bet they never made fun of an overweight person after that.
lol and worst case scenario I bet you guys could kick those girls butts. I remember one time reading about these two skinny girls who were taunting these two overweight girls at the beach. Well they thought nothing of it and later when they went to the bathroom the two overweight girls jumped them and took their bathing suits
I don't condone violence but the two girls weren't hurt- just humiliated lol. I bet they never made fun of an overweight person after that.
I bet they did. I bet they were just more careful, and even more nasty in their attitude.
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